Work Text:
For you, Dianxia, I am nothing.
It’s not that I don’t know.
The differences always glaring, laughing, mocking.
But is it such a crime, to be a sinner?
Is it truly so despicable, to be a beast?
You would say no.
You would call a monster, beautiful.
A sinner, a worshiper.
You would say to follow your heart.
You would tell me to be strong. To live.
But Dianxia, it’s not as if I couldn’t do these things.
I never wanted. Never desired.
A truth as solid as my once mortal bones.
Not until you, Dianxia.
This world is an abyss. A hell crafted for the wicked by the wicked.
I call it home.
But for you Dianxia, I would abandon home.
For you Dianxia, I would be a runaway.
Only for you Dianxia,
I would build an illusion.
A world that is gentle. A world that is kind.
A world deserving, of you, Dianxia.
To protect you. To shield you. To comfort you.
You might ask why.
You might say I’m just a person.
You might say I could care less.
But Dianxia, tell me, why did you want to save this hopeless world?
Why did you wish for power? fall from grace? attempt to destroy?
Why did you care more?
The answer, was always simple in its complexity.
There was none.
Life is merely a result of choices and consequences.
And I simply chose you, Dianxia.
I chose you the first time.
I chose you a thousand times after.
I would chose you a million times more.
My life, my death, my afterlife.
Are nothing but a natural sequence of consequences.
Because for you Dinaxia, I break myself into pieces.
Because for you Dianxia, I put myself together.
Some call it obsession. Some call it insanity.
But for me, Dianxia, insanity was life.
Beaten, broken, bloody, cursed.
Heaven was for the powerful. Mortality for the weak.
I didn’t understand. I couldn’t.
What was the point.
Then you gave me a meaning.
And told me to make it mine.
Because for you Dianxia, there was never a need for a point.
Because just for a moment, you chose kindness instead of cruelty.
Because just for a moment, you chose love instead of despair.
And I, am nothing but a consequence of those moments, Dianxia.
So please, know this.
You, who gave so freely, will receive freely.
The world maybe unjust, unfair, unpredictable.
But it will never again take from you.
Not while this sinner still lingers. Still worships.
So please Dianxia, don’t let go.
So please, make choices, mistakes. Live.
And I still worship. I always will.
And I will take you home, if you so desired.
And If you wish to destroy, you only need but say a word.
And this beast will devour everything whole.
It is only a matter of time, I know.
It is only a matter of chance, I know.
So until then- and if you so wanted,
For eternity and beyond-
Know this.
That as long as the oceans rage against the moon
The sun burns through the soil of life
And the winds carry the ashes of death
You will always have a believer.
Because for you, Dianxia, I am everything.