Chapter Text
Palermo brushed his teeth longer than usually, contemplating whether to tell Helsinki to leave, and if so how he’d do it. His heart yearned for him to stay, which was why he rationally knew he had to kick him out. They had fucked hard, hoping to tire each other out into a night of sound sleep despite the anxiety about the day to come. Over the weeks they had allowed themselves to become gentle with each other and it had come to a peak today. The sex had almost been sappy and Palermo’s urge to now push Helsinki at distance was so strong it almost hurt. It was undeniable that they had grown attached to each other and the professor was right that emotions were a set up for disaster.
He spit out the toothpaste and turned around, determined to gently kick Helsinki out. But when he saw the man laying there in his bed he couldn’t bear to tonelessly say good night. He looked comfortable, sucking on that cartoonish heart shaped lollipop, and Palermo was immensely jealous of how relaxed he seemed.
“You’re going to have to move.”, he said. A part of him hoped Helsinki would interpret it as a prompt to leave. But the bear just shuffled to the edge of the bed. So Palermo made himself comfortable next to him, somewhere between sitting and lying with an arm resting on the same cushion as Helsinki’s head. He reached for the wine glass he had discarded on the barrel behind his bed earlier. He took a sip and made a disgruntled noise as the taste of wine mixed with toothpaste.
The space on the bed was tight and they realized they had to arrange better, both of them close to their respective edge. They shifted until their legs were entangled and Helsinki’s head rested on the arm Palermo had propped himself up on.
“Do you think the monks make their bed this tiny for chastity?”, Palermo joked.
“If they do, we proved it doesn’t work.”
They chuckled together. Then silence fell over the room. A heavier kind than before.
“Palermo,-”
“You know we can’t go in there with emotional baggage, right?”, he cut in.
“I know.”, Helsinki said.
“This just isn’t the time. Maybe afterwards we can… talk.”
“Don’t worry about it, Palermo. No baggage for the heist.” He sounded so aloof that Palermo was, paradoxically, almost a little hurt.
“Good.”, he said sternly.
“Are you anxious?”, Helsinki asked.
“Of course.”, he answered honestly. “This plan is my life.”
“I know.”, he said softly.
Palermo could tell that he understood the depth of his words. He rested his cheek atop Helsinki’s head and when the other wrapped an arm around him so did Palermo.
He closed his eyes as they embraced. Helsinki was easily the most empathic person of the gang. He didn’t talk much, but he really listened and when he did say something it was always the right thing. They often sat or laid around and talked after sex and Palermo enjoyed those quiet moments almost as much as the sex itself.
He was definitely walking into the heist with feelings.
But it was too late to do anything about it but ignore it. Luckily Palermo was great at ignoring uncomfortable truths, all he needed was some wine and sharp words.
He reached for his glass again and downed the rest of it.
“It’s late, we should go to bed.”, he said, putting the glass down.
“Sure.”, Helsinki said.
Palermo got up with a small groan and turned off the light while Helsinki arranged the blankets. The candles lit the room in a dim glow. With the bear in his bed, it seemed almost domestic. Palermo pushed the thought aside and got into bed with Helsinki. The only way they could comfortably sleep in the small bed together was spooning, so Palermo leaned against the bear and let Helsinki cuddle to his back. He felt Helsinki’s beard on his skin and his breath against his neck.
“Good night, gordo.”, he said softly.
“Good night, Palermo.”, Helsinki said just by his ear.