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The clock just hits ten pm, but Sunghoon is already feeling tipsy from the bottle of soju that he had finished a while ago.
Him and his circle of friends have gathered for a christmas party at Heeseung's (one of his longest friends) place, something they had planned a while back. It's been a couple months since they've been together in the same space, two years since their last christmas party — so why not spend the christmas eve together?
But in all honesty, that's not the main reason why he's here.
"You're awfully quiet." Jaeyun elbows Sunghoon on his side before leaning against the kitchen counter. "You good?"
Sunghoon blinks, his eyes bleary. "I'm fine, just a little tipsy."
"Tipsy? At ten pm? Yup, you're not okay." Jaeyun grabs the empty bottle on Sunghoon's hand, as if that would actually stop the male from picking up another bottle. "If he's here you won't even be able to go near any alcoholic drinks."
Sunghoon snorts at that. "If he's here," He sighs. "But he's not. Again."
A sympathetic look flitted past Jaeyun's face for a moment, before patting the other's back in a poor attempt to console him.
"You know what," He then drapes his arms around Sunghoon, pulling the taller in a headlock so he can drag him towards the living room. "Stop moping around and enjoy the moment. He'd want you to happy even without him by your side. Besides, we didn't go through all the trouble of begging your manager to clear your schedule just for you to drink your ass out and pass out on the kitchen floor."
A petulant groan leaves Sunghoon's lips, but made no attempt in resisting Jake's hold. His friend was right, he should at least have fun. after all, that's what he came here for, to let loose and forget his busy life as a figure skater for once.
He can try his best not to be miserable all night. (No promises, though.)
Laughter fills his senses as soon as he entered the living room, Jongseong and Riki's voices being the loudest ones even with the music blasting through the speakers. Judging by the music choice, he was certain that Riki was the one who put it on — just to annoy Jongseong. And so far, it's working.
"Can someone turn off the music or at least change it? I've had enough of Mariah Carey at work." Jongseong massages his temple as he slumped on the couch.
"You literally own the whole store, you could've blasted metal music if you hated christmas songs that much." Riki shrugs.
Jongseong glares at the youngest. "I sell clothes, not guitars or some emo shit."
"Oh? My point still stands. Anyway," Riki says, taunting the other even more as he increased the volume of the music.
"Shut up, you two." Jungwon chastises the two as he enters the scene, interrupting their bickering by turning off the speaker. He is holding books stacked on each other in his arms. "Look at what me and Heeseung hyung found." Excitement flashes on his face as he drops the pile on the coffee table, ushering the others to come closer.
"What the hell is that? It smells ancient." Jaeyun scrunches his nose, but reaches over to inspect the thing nonetheless. The sound Jaeyun made when he opened it had everyone's head turning towards him, hoarding the attention all to the thing he's holding.
"Woah." Jaeyun gasps, eyes wide. "Guys, come here."
At that, they were all huddled together in an instant, trying to get a peek. What jungwon and Heeseung found weren't just books, they were actually photo albums that their friend group had eversince they were high school. The first few pages were pictures from middle school, mostly of Heeseung, Jongseong and him.
"Look at how little Heeseung hyung was!"
"No, check how bad Jongseong hyung's fashion sense was."
Everyone laughed at that, except for Jongseong who only casted an unamused look at Jungwon. It's almost adorable how he always manages to control his emotions when it comes to Jungwon yet ends up yelling at everyone else for the smallest things. Sunghoon knows a whipped man when he sees one.
"Keyword, was. And that was what's trendy before, okay? It was Heeseung and Sunghoon who was out of the loop."
"Yet I still looked better than you." Sunghoon pipes in nonchalantly.
"And trendy doesn't mean good fashion!" added Heeseung, snickering beside him.
Unlike his rather calm reaction with Jungwon, this time Jongseong ended up cursing them out.
"Fuck you two." Jongseong snaps. "And don't give me that 'trendy doesn't mean good fashion' when I can practically see your whole wardrobe in Pinterest."
The three of them had been together since forever, their parents being college friends and leading the three of them to cross paths with each other. It's like they're continuing their parents' friendship which makes their bond even stronger.
And that's not best thing about it yet, because the holidays — the holidays are where it's at. Their family used to live in the same neighborhood, same street actually, which meant they could freely house-hop for food in each other's home. And they didn't go home without carrying tupperwares in their hands; second best thing about it.
A swarm of nostalgic feeling fills Sunghoon's chest. Ah, good old times.
Loud chatter continues to echo in the background as he scans through the pages of the other photo album, one that he managed to snatch from Jungwon's hand. Observing the pictures in it, Sunghoon can tell that it was the most recent one, since most of the content are from their college days. A smile spreads on his face upon seeing a certain picture.
It was Riki's college graduation, taken four years ago. Being the youngest in their friend group, they all have collectively agreed that all of them would attend — no matter what happened. Sadly though, that was the last time they were all present for a group picture.
Things have changed eversince they graduated, and that's okay with Sunghoon, seeing as all of his friends have become successful throughout the years.
Heeseung is now in a kpop group, set out to go on a world tour soon. He has always been talented, even as a kid, so they were certain that he would make it. He did, and they couldn't have been more proud.
Then there's Jongseong, who now owns a clothing store. Sunghoon can remember how passionate he is whenever he talks about fashion, especially on their high school days. He was their group's fashion critic (he still is, especially on important ocassions).
As the smartest one in the group, it wasn't a surprise that Jaeyun ended up being a college professor. He teaches physics, which wasn't a surprise either since it was his favorite subject. He used to tell them that it was 'fun' to learn. All of them thinks otherwise, but they let him believe it since doing so guaranteed them answers for their assignments.
Jungwon and Riki on the other hand, ended up working for the same entertainment company as choreographers and even works with Heeseung's management occasionally. They've asked the two why they didn't become an idol instead, and all they said is that they love their freedom too much for them to give it up. Jungwon and Riki did train for a while, but decided that idol life isn't for them.
Out of their friend group though, Sunoo's career was unexpected. When they were in highschool, they had a recurring habit of guessing what their future careers would be — and all of them had pictured Sunoo as someone who would be working in the entertainment industry with his good looks and innate talent in front of the camera. They even imagined him as a food vlogger due to his love for food, but none of them ended up being right.
Sunoo, just like Sunghoon, became a professional athlete; though their sports are much different from each other. While Sunghoon trains on an ice skating rink, Sunoo mostly spent his time off school in a dojang to hone his taekwondo skills.
As far as his memory supplies, Sunoo once told them that his father is actually a taekwondo instructor. He didn't really took an interest on it until middle school. They did have an idea of how skilled Sunoo is in martial arts, Riki being the one to experience it first-hand when he pranked Sunoo one time by scaring him.
Seeing Sunoo throw a 6 foot giant like Riki on his back in such a breeze was quite an amusing sight, for sure. Who could've known that their resident sunshine was the scariest out of them all?
You see, Sunoo loves talking — but when it's about himself? Not much.
So when Sunoo told them that he's going overseas to train as an athlete, they felt just a tad bit betrayed. Mainly because it was too soon, like literally two weeks away from his supposed flight. They barely had time to spend the last two weeks together. All of them were happy for him, there's no doubt in that; it's just that they were far too clingy for their own good.
Sunghoon, was, especially clingy. But he learned to live with it through time.
They were all close, but Sunghoon and Sunoo had a special bond. Sunoo was the one who bravely approached the other, but Sunghoon ended up gravitating towards the younger more than he expected to. Even though they were the complete opposites, they easily fit in with each other like a puzzle piece.
When Heeseung, Jongseong and Jaeyun left the university, it was them who often hung out alone after their classes since Jungwon and Riki studied in a different university. They would drop by a cafe near their campus so often that Sunghoon had already memorized Sunoo's order by heart. Cheescake and an Iced Latte (or an Americano with 6 shots of espresso during hell week). And even with their conflicting schedule sometimes, they'd still find a way to see each other; even if it's only by staying at each other's place doing completely nothing.
There were instances where they were mistaken as a couple not only in their campus but also by the people in places they frequent in, and Sunoo would be quick to answer them that Sunghoon and him are just best friends.
It's true, they really were each other's ‘platonic soulmate’, as other people would call it. That's what it felt like, at least to Sunghoon. It was just the two of them, but they were the happiest.
When the younger male left the country, Sunghoon unconsciously reverted back to his old timid self. Sunoo made sure to check on them, but it was the two of them who frequently talked. Until it got harder due to how intense their training have gotten. Sunoo have made a noise for himself in the taekwondo industry and is preparing to compete in the World Taekwondo Championships, while Sunghoon is a representative at the ISU Grand Prix.
And that's alright, Sunghoon always try to tell himself. He gets it, they're all adults now which means more responsibilities for them. Sometimes though, he couldn't help but lament at the major changes between the two of them.
Sunghoon sighs for the nth time as his hand hovers above a photo of him and Sunoo, one that they took on their graduation day. He completely forgot that the picture existed. Carefully, he tries to get it from the album so he can keep it, when Riki's voice echoed in the background once again.
"Oh, it's Sunoo hyung!"
At the mention of a familiar name, Sunghoon whips his head so fast that it almost looked painful, eyes searching for the said person. Only for the disappointment to hit him just as quick.
What Riki was referring to isn't actually Sunoo, but rather the younger male's baby picture pasted in the photo album he was holding. Sunghoon couldn't bring himself to smile even as he stared at baby Sunoo grinning so brightly in the picture; instead, he deflates even more at the thought of not being able to that same smile tonight.
Sunoo had already told them that he won't be coming home for the holidays — yet there's still a teeny tiny bit of hope in him that maybe, just maybe, Sunoo would burst through the door and show up the last minute. Maybe laugh at their shocked faces too because he had successfully fooled them into thinking that they won't be complete this year again.
Of course, that's just wishful thinking. There's no way Sunoo would just magically appear at Heeseung's doorstep right now when he hadn't done so in the last three years. Especially when he's miles — no, oceans apart from them at the moment.
Sunghoon feels a lump in his throat. He's not about to cry now, is he?
Standing up from his seat, Sunghoon sways a bit as the dizziness hit his senses due to the abrupt movement mixed in with the alcohol in his system. He plays it cool as he tries to stabilize himself, hoping that no one would notice.
"Hoon, is everything alright?" Jaeyun asks as he looks up at Sunghoon, concern written in his features. Of course, he'd notice.
"Uh, yeah... need some air. 'm gonna be by the balcony." Sunghoon slurs, turning on his heels before anyone could question him. He can hear their voices, but they were easily drowned out as he repeats the younger male's name in his head.
I need to call him.
Cold breeze of night air bites his skin as soon as he steps outside the balcony, a shiver racking his wool claded body. Sunghoon's rational thinking is still working even though he's slightly drunk, so he knows better than to lean against the railings. Instead, he stands by the wall as he fished his phone out of his pocket, fingers scrolling through his contacts until his eyes spots the name he is looking for.
The phone rings for quite some time after he dialed the number, only for it to go straight into voicemail. But he tries again, patiently waiting as he stares at his phone screen. After the fourth ring, he finally hears that bubbly voice that he knows all too well.
"Hoon? Hello." Sunoo says through the line. There's different voices in the background, Sunghoon notes. He must be outside.
"Hey," Sunghoon answers, releasing the breath he didn't realize he was holding. "Is it a bad time to call?"
"Oh, not at all! What's up?"
"Nothing. I just... miss you. I haven't heard about you for quite a while now so I tried my luck and called you."
Sunoo coos from the other line. He can practically see that teasing smile from the younger. "Aw, I miss you too hyung! I've been busy so—"
"Yah, Kim Sunoo! Come lend me a hand!"
The other line goes silent for a moment, before Sunghoon hears a hushed Jangjun hyung, be quiet coming from the younger male.
So he's with that Jangjun guy, Sunghoon thinks bitterly. He'd be real, he feels somewhat jealous. How could he not when it's the same guy that's been pining for Sunoo the moment they met?
Sunghoon bites the inside of his cheek to stop himself from running his mouth, and instead waits patiently for the other to come back again.
"I'm sorry, that was my trainer. How have you been? Merry Christmas by the way!"
"Thought you wouldn't greet me." Sunghoon mumbles into the phone, eyebrows furrowed in a frown. "I've been waiting for you all day, you know?"
"I'm really sorry... You know I barely have time these days."
Sunghoon scoffs. "You always say that." There's a beat of silence that hangs in the air, so he speaks again. "Are we... are we still even friends?"
He's been mulling over that question for a couple of hours now, and letting it out feels like a thorn has been plucked out from his chest. At the same time, there's a wave of uneasiness that's pooling in the pit of his stomach — afraid of what will be the younger's answer.
However, Sunoo only laughs. "What?"
"Everything just changed, you know? So I'm just wondering if things have changed between us two as well... so, are we still friends?" Sunghoon is fully gnawing at his lower lip now, hand nervously fumbling at the picture of them two that he managed to snatch from the album earlier.
"Are you drunk, Sunghoon?" Sunoo asks in that nagging mom voice of his. "I told Jaeyun hyung to look after you. I swear I'm gonna beat his ass when I arrive—"
"Stop changing the topic and answer the question." Sunghoon cuts the younger off, completely missing what Sunoo had just said. He hears a laugh from the other line again and this time he feels the frustration building up within him because what's so funny about his question?
"Stop being sulky first and try looking over the balcony." Sunoo says after he has calmed down.
The crease on his forehead hardens. "Why? Are you trying to kill me? I did drink, what if I fall over the railings?"
"You won't," The younger male assures him in a soft voice. "I'll catch you."
"You're not here though, you won't be able to... do... that..." Sunghoon trails off, his brain buffering for a second as he tries to make sense to the younger's words. His heart jumps at his throat when it all finally sunk in, the realization pouring on him like warm water.
Almost immediately, he strides towards the railings that's just a few steps away from his spot, eyes darting around until his gaze fell on a mop of raven hair standing a few meters away from him. His eyes are a bit blurry, but he recognizes the person as clear as a day.
"Sunoo," Sunghoon chokes out, feeling a lump forming in his throat once again. His pulse thrums under his skin, and panic surges briefly through his veins. "Is that really you?"
Of course, Sunoo won't be Sunoo without teasing him.
"No, your drunk ass is just hallucinating." Sunoo says with a chuckle, though he waved his hands at the older as if to confirm his existence. "I'm kidding. Do you have any plans on coming down? Maybe lend me that scarf of yours before I freeze on my spot?"
Sunghoon didn't need to be told twice, already bolting through Heeseung's house in lightning speed that he didn't even notice the others missing from the now eerily silent living room. He's still pretty much tipsy so he tries his best not to slip and fall, not wanting to crack his head open before he can get to Sunoo.
His pace quickens until he's almost running when he sees Sunoo standing a couple feet away from him, gracing his gloomy night with that bright smile of his that it finally forces the tears that's been threatening to spill earlier to roll down his cheeks. Overwhelming happiness spreads through his chest, and it feels like his heart is about to burst.
"Woah, slow down babe. I'm not going anywhere." Sunoo chuckles as the other nearly falls before crashing into him. He welcomes Sunghoon with open arms, encasing him in a tight embrace.
Sunghoon buries his face in the younger's hair, and it feels soft against his skin. There's still that same scent that he used to smell from Sunoo whenever they would end up cuddling on the couch at Sunghoon's apartment. He still uses the cologne brand that I gifted him.
“I missed you,” Sunghoon breathes out, “I missed you a lot.”
Sunoo pauses, before squeezing Sunghoon's waist in his arms. "I missed you too, Sunghoon hyung."
They both stand still for a moment, happily basking in each other's warmth and presence. It's as if it wasn't even snowing, because the younger's embrace easily overpowers the coldness in the air. Sunoo brings a hand up to run through Sunghoon's hair, fingertips scratching the latter's scalp softly, and Sunghoon feels like he could melt at any moment.
"Why are you—aren't you supposed to be in US right now?" Sunghoon's voice appears muffled as his face remained buried against the younger's soft locks, not wanting to part from the warmth that he missed so much.
Sunoo hums in response. "It's been a while since I came back home during Christmas. I heard that Jangjun hyung was planning to come back to Seoul for a few days so I tagged along. Then I begged him if we could stay at least until after the New Year." He reluctantly pulls away to point at the man standing a couple feet away from them, waving his hands before disappearing into the busy street. "I brought gifts for everyone and he helped me carry them."
A chuckle bubbles up in Sunghoon's chest. He thinks it was really sweet of Sunoo to prepare a gift for each one of them but to him, the younger's presence alone is probably greater than any gift he'd receive this Christmas. And Sunghoon's sure all of their friends would attest to that, too.
"You didn't have to," Sunghoon says, his breath fogging up between them as he talks. "You coming back to visit is more than enough."
Sunoo only coos at that, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he wipes the drying tears on Sunghoon's cheeks. "What were you asking me earlier again?"
"But I already asked you twice."
"I forgot what it was."
A blush creeps up on Sunghoon's cheeks, matching his already red nose. He averts his gaze, but Sunoo is quick to hold his face firmly as to maintain their eye contact. "Uh, I asked if we're still friends?"
If possible, the smile on Sunoo's lips widens even more. "We're not friends anymore." He says, a laugh following after when Sunghoon's mouth falls open in shock. Sunoo hushes the taller boy quickly, before he continues. "We're more than that now. Did you already forget or are you really that drunk? We became official on your graduation, silly."
Oh. He suddenly feels so dumb. How could he forget of all things?
Slowly sobering up, Sunghoon remembers now and all of the memories came rushing back to him. He remembers how Sunoo came to his graduation with the biggest bouquet he'd probably ever receive in his entire life, how Sunoo was so afraid of ruining their friendship after he had just confessed his love to Sunghoon.
He also remembers pulling the younger closer to kiss him as if they were the only people in the room, hoping that it would convey all of the feelings he's been harbouring for Sunoo throughout their friendship — and he remembers how everyone, friends and family alike, screamed and cheered in the background, like they were the main event that day.
Sunghoon's mouth curves into a shy grin at the memory. "I remember that day vividly. Actually, I have something here." He says excitedly upon remembering the picture that he kept hidden in his pocket, showing the younger male with a childlike enthusiasm. "Look, I found it in our photo album. Don't we look so cute? You still have that pink hair in the picture."
Sunoo's face brightens, breaking into a fit of giggles as he inspects the said picture. He's really the sun personified, and Sunghoon thinks the younger's laugh could make the flowers grow, even in the coldest of winters.
"Right, I bleached my hair the moment our semester ended. We look so young in here." Sunoo says in amusement. "But you're still as handsome as ever."
And just like that, Sunghoon feels like a teenager again being swept off his feet by his long-time crush, who's far too blunt for Sunghoon's poor heart.
"We're boyfriends for six years now," Sunoo added, this time focusing his gaze on Sunghoon's face. "And I think it's about time we end that."
Sunghoon can feel his heart basically beating out his chest right now, anxiety prickling at his skin when the word 'end' reaches his ears. He's confused because there's much seriousness in Sunoo's eyes, but the comforting hand of the smaller on his own tells him to calm down.
So he did, and let the smaller continue.
"What I meant by end is that," Sunoo takes a deep breath as he fumbles through the pocket of his thick jacket, momentarily untangling his fingers from Sunghoon's slender ones. He successfully pulls out a red velvet box a second later, opening it with trembling hands. "We should stop being boyfriends because I want you to be my fiancé instead. And my husband, soon. That's if you're ready of course, I mean—"
The smaller didn't get to finish his sentence because Sunghoon is already drawing him in for another hug, nearly knocking the box in his hand. He returns the hug nonetheless, and was about to start rambling again when he notices the other sniffling into his neck.
Panicking, Sunoo tries to pull away from the embrace, but Sunghoon's strong arms prevented him from doing so. If anything, the taller's arms around him tightens even more.
"Weird way to propose, but yes. Fucking yes." Sunghoon whispers, causing the younger to chuckle. The tears streaming down his cheeks is the least of his worries right now. "You don't even need to ask me, I'm more than ready to be your fiancé. God, I'd marry you right now if I could." He finally faces Sunoo, gazing at the younger through his blurry vision. "But I'm willing to wait. You're always worth waiting for."
"I love you." There's so much adoration in Sunoo's eyes as his gaze remains fixated on Sunghoon, as if the latter hung the moon and stars for him. "And thank you for always waiting for me. I know this isn't the most romantic way to propose but—
This time, Sunghoon shuts the smaller up by kissing him, which Sunoo returns almost immediately. It only lasts for a couple of second, but that doesn't matter now.
"This is the most perfect proposal I could ever imagine. It's very... Sunoo. With all the dramatics and stuff." Sunghoon grins as he wipes his tears. "I love it and I love you so much. I wouldn't have it any other way."
"I would've gotten on my knees but you were already hugging me before I could even finish my monologue. But it's okay, that's too cliché anyway." Sunoo plucks out the silver Cartier ring from the box carefully — one that he had personally customized for them. "May I?"
All it took was a single nod from the taller for Sunoo to finally slide the engagement ring on Sunghoon's ring finger, sealing the proposal.
"I really, really love you." Sunghoon repeats while cupping Sunoo's face in a gentle cradle, claiming the latter's lips in a kiss for the second time. The kiss is nothing short of amazing—it's full of love, and it ignites a different kind of warmth in his chest; a warmth that feels like home.
The sound of Mariah Carey's All I want for Christmas plays in the background, snapping them back into reality and prompting them to break the kiss. As they search for the source of sound, their gaze fell on five figures standing at Heeseung's front porch, panicking as they try to change the music into a more romantic one.
"These idiots, I swear." Sunghoon sighs exasperatedly, before letting out a chuckle. Sunoo joins him a second later, casting a fond look at their friends who are now apologizing to them from a distance. "Baby it's cold outside, we should go now."
Sunoo nods with a smile, dusting off the snow from Sunghoon's hair before snaking his arms around the taller's torso, finally making way towards their friends afterwards.
This year's Christmas isn't so bad, after all. Actually, it might just be the best Christmas Sunghoon has and will ever experience in his entire life.
He got everything he could ask for by his side, and winter has never felt more warm and alive.