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From a young age, Berdly had been taught that: "should you want to be important, you must be productive."
Results were all that mattered.
If his results weren't acceptable, even after trying your best, did he matter? Of course not.
So, he just had to try better than his best.
"... Here's my report card."
He had hoped that his parents would acknowledge his efforts, he hoped that they would praise him even a little bit. That would've made the hard work worth its time.
But instead, they focused on deficiencies. Failures. You dropped a point here. You dropped two points here. Your letter grade went down a bit.
"Remember to try harder next time okay? No more games for now, okay Burnley? You're always locked up in your room."
Always locked up. But never doing what his parents think he does all the time. They just assumed the worst about him. Isn't that a funny way to treat your own child?
But Berdly remembers, he IS the child in question. So he doesn't question it. They weren't home enough to even see that he mostly spent his time in the living room, rather than his room, but he doesn't question it. They don't even bother to give value to what he enjoys, but he doesn't question it.
Asking would only bring more problems. So, he just had to work harder than his hardest.
So comes his next hurdle: he has no idea HOW to work harder. He had never been taught.
Regardless if his grades got better or worse, this scene would play out at home, every quarter, regardless of how good or bad he did in reality. Thanks to his parents' unrealistic expectations. Even with Noelle's help, nothing gets better.
He's at the top of the class now, but even the top is too low.
"I know you can do better, you're not dumb."
But he doesn't know how to do better.
"Maybe if you stopped playing all of the time, you'd get higher grades."
But it's one of the only things keeping his head from imploding, at this point.
"Haha, I'm really just numbers to them, aren't I? And they don't even find the numbers to be good enough."
It's just the status quo anyways. He HAS to be the best. Otherwise he'd just be forgotten, even by his own family. Funny, isn't it?
Eventually, he gave up on procrastinating, or trying to hide away his results. He just turned the report card in to his parents, resigned to the usual guilt trip. Maybe try to play it down by joking a little, or downplaying himself from the beginning.
Sure, his grades were the best now. Sure, his parents knew that. Yes, they unfortunately still made it feel like the world was ending when Math went down by a single point or whatever. But his grades were still excellent. Surely, they'd allow him the luxury of enjoying his favorite pastimes in peace?
No. But they aren't important here, are they? It is the truth that he had been taught.
Regardless, he continues to indulge himself in his games. Despite feeling guilty about it sometimes. He doesn't want to think, not when he can help it. But it doesn't stop him from thinking, "They would kill me if they came home right now."
That is, if they came home. Which isn't often. So just in case, he has a tab with his science paper open (which he had finished last semester), and his books scattered on the table.
It's no use though, they don't bother to check in on him anyways. Only their fanon interpretation of their son was important to them, anyways.
"I wonder then, what they would think of me. If Noelle were ever to leave my side."
A thought that is buried as quickly as it was blurted out.
Noelle is a good friend, but he knows she doesn't deserve the way he treats her sometimes. But the fear of failure— no, of rejection, is too potent.
He's sure she has quite the similar problems too, hell, maybe worse. But he's too stuck up his own ass. Too concerned with himself only.
Too scared to let the spotlight go, as nobody would look at him, if it wasn't for her.
And to think so many issues are caused just by a few numbers on a sheet. And still, the report card needs to be signed. Lest Alphys call his parents. That would be worse.
So he takes the initiative anyway, to show his results.
That's all they need him for, isn't it?