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“I wonder if anyone’s ever written a novel in times like these.”
Bokuto looked up from his laptop upon hearing Akaashi’s voice.
“Eh?” Bokuto titled his head.
Akaashi kept his gaze with a snowdrop, falling aimlessly outside their window.
“It’s a very cliche scene, don’t you think?”
Bokuto’s ears flared at the ferocious winds growling against the walls, whistling down their chimney and bringing a raging chill to his skin. He frowned, sulking.
“ Cliche. Whatever you say, Akaashi.”
Akaashi hummed in acknowledgment, the sound comforting.
“Many people fall in love when stuck in snowstorms, you know.”
“Or they realise how annoying their special someone is and go live with the bears,” Bokuto teased.
“Don’t give me ideas,” giggles rumbled in their tummies happily, the two settling into the peace.
“I wonder if a novel-worthy story really is unraveling somewhere.” Bokuto wondered after a moment.
Akaashi smiled.
“I bet money on it.”
-
‘Twas the night before christmas,
When all through the house...
Not a creature was stirring,
Not even a…
“TADASHI!”
Nevermind.
Although, the little folktale did have a point. Indeed, no creatures would be stirring tonight - a wild blanket of snow tucked every building in Sendai tightly, forcing everyone to hibernate for the night. Besides, it’s not that anyone would willingly venture out regardless - with the howling winds screaming past the windows and snow catapulting from the clouds, as if racing each other, snuggling in front of a toasty fire with a hot cocoa in hand seemed like a dream.
So, indeed - not a creature was stirring.
Except one.
A timid, yet fiery little monster was triggered to raise hell tonight.
And it was none other than the aggravated heart of Tsukkishima Kei.
It was nine minutes past seven in the evening when his heart strummed nervous blood around his veins like a harp, echoing through a church of repressed swooning and the warmth he’d so desperately tried to label as platonic.
And he had approximately fourteen hours to persuade himself that the label was true.
Fourteen hours.
“Did you call my name, Tsukki?”
A sweet aroma suddenly filled the kitchen from a voice drizzled in rich chocolate, a presence warm and fuzzy accompanying it. The snowfall became muffled in the background and all Tsukkishima could focus on was a starlight entering the room, a glow that toasted all that was cold in the world.
Yamaguchi smiled.
Tsukkishima gulped.
“We’re going into lockdown again.” Tsukkishima mumbled.
“Huh?!” Yamaguchi’s mouth dropped, “I thought covid cases were dropping, right? We were already through the worst of it, right? I- We were both gonna see our parents for Christmas, right?! We wouldn’t be stuck here, ri-”
“Tadashi.”
Nonchalant eyes didn’t budge from the window.
Tadashi’s eyes, however, were empty moons - beautiful, yet mindless.
“Yeah, Tsukki?”
“The window.”
Confusion was silence’s middle name. It allowed another gust of wind to deafen their hallway, loud enough to spark a fear of the building collapsing.
Tskkishima thought Tadashi would understand from that alone.
(Perhaps ‘hoped’ was a better term.)
“What about the window? Looks normal to me,” Tadashi spoke in a fluttering, silky smooth tone that Tsukkishima hated so much - so much, it made his chest tingle and dimples pop and touched him so softly and warmly it could banish any storm.
(About that…)
“Outside the window.”
“Okay… What am I looking at?”
Tsukkishima facepalmed so hard on the counter their apartment trembled.
“What am I looking at, Tsukki?” He lulled in the satin tone once more.
“The fucking grass, what else?”
“Dummy, you can’t even see the- oh.”
Tsukkishima couldn’t call Tadashi stupid, since falling in love with your flatmate (who you only moved in with out of pity) was the most foolish act a human could pull. If falling in love wasn’t dumb enough on it’s own.
If Aphrodite existed, Tsukki knew she’d laugh.
“A snow pandemic,” Tadashi snorted, “That’s exactly what we need.”
Tsukkishima almost let himself chuckle, until a booming thud was heard from outside - and just their luck, as if on a comical cue, a mountain of snow catapulted from the roof and made itself rather comfortable on the driveway.
“A wall of snow in our driveway, exactly what we need again!”
“Stop with the satire nonsense,” Tsukkishima sighed, turning away from the window as he couldn’t bear to keep staring at the dull, grey outside anymore. His eyes sighed with relief as they rested on his starlight with the cherry flushed cheeks and hands that were covered with long sleeves, the limp wrist look representing some kind of dinosaur.
...The limp wrist was definitely only to represent a dinosaur.
“It’s kind of exciting though, isn’t it?” Tadashi asked, passing Tsukki to close the curtains. Through that one gesture, the ferocious snow fuzzed into background noise and a new comfort was welcomed into their apartment, the rooms becoming engulfed in beige lighting from fairy lights laced around the walls.
“How? It’s miserable out there.”
“But it’s not miserable here, is it?”
The soft nudge at Tsukkishima’s pessimism almost startled him by how gentle it was. It was a feeling Tsukkishima hadn’t encountered much, but since moving in with Yamaguchi it made itself at home within him.
It felt odd at times - against the rules, even. But Tadashi was rather good at embracing the ugliest parts of him.
Tadashi was the first person to look at him and not see him as a problem that needed solving.
He let himself smile.
“No. Not at all. Quite the opposite.” Tsukkishima’s voice sang tenderly through his throat, a song reserved only for Tadashi.
Not that he’d ever tell him that.
Tadashi paused slowly in his tracks, huffing in amusement.
“Well, that makes me happy.” He spoke as effortlessly as he could.
You make me happy.
Tsukkishima bit his tongue, hard enough so it wouldn’t run away. The wind continued to wail from outside, and Tsukkishima begged her to swirl the grand ‘platonic’ label around their apartment, so hard it would engrave into the walls (and hopefully him, too). When the wind changes, all will stay the same - Tsukkishima’s late night fantasies will stay fantasies, summer will pour in and he’ll no longer seek Tadashi’s warmth, and before he can utter his name against cheekbones autumn will roll around, and these feelings will die with the dewy, summer heat.
They say when the wind changes, nothing changes.
Tsukkishima prayed to god his heart would.
His mind drifted back into the room, cautiously watching Tadashi grab two mugs from the cupboard.
“Take it as you will, Tsukki, but I’m taking the snowstorm as an opportunity to celebrate the holidays like an old grandpa.”
Tsukkishima wondered if he’d love him that long.
“So, hot cocoa until we puke and Christmas movies until we can’t stand hearing Mariah Carey any longer. Bonus - a fort.” Tadashi grinned like a malicious child.
“I don’t know what grandpa’s you’re seeing that live this life, but I’m down.”
Fourteen hours.
-
“Listen to me. Listen to me very closely, because I’m not gonna say this twice.
I need you to stay exactly where you are.
Oh, you’re laughing huh? You think this is funny?
“You dare move. You dare ruin this for me.
You’ll be thrown in the closet, you hear?
Dead, you hear?”
Growls erupted from the living room, the vibrations giving the wind competition.
“There we go, steady does it. Stay. Stay, you bastard.”
Tsukkishima’s knuckles faded to blue. The tension began to suffocate him, pulling his breath from his lungs like Santa pulling a teddy bear out of a child’s arms.
His lips pushed together until it hurt.
He felt the walls close in on him.
They tumbled, down and down…
...Until they were all on the floor.
All seven pillows.
“Urgh, stupid fucking fort! I told you to stay!” Tsukki’s voice boomed against the fallen fort as he sulked, arms tingling from holding pillows against the coffee table. For an hour, precisely.
His eyes lifted to the living room doorway, where a timid Tadashi stood awkwardly. His expression was one of someone who just walked into an occupied bathroom.
“What.” Tuskkishima scowled.
Tadashi held a bag out towards him.
“Gingerbread man?”
The flames in Tsukkishima’s eyes could turn every snowflake into summer.
He smiled.
“...Yes please.”
Tadashi, hazed with confusion, crept around the broken fort and plopped himself next to Tsukkishima - who grabbed a handful of mini-gingerbread men so big, half of it fell into Tadashi’s lap.
“There’s your christmas present.” Tsukkishima nodded towards them.
“I thought you would be more the ‘luxurious and brand-like’ type for gifts.” Tadashi teased.
“I’m in crippling debt, Tadashi.”
Tadashi’s dimples popped out of his cheeks, snowy teeth bursting from holly-tinted lips in a smile that happiness must have crafted herself, a smile Tsukki wanted under the tree, wrapped up in a laugh that felt warm and Tsukkishima wanted to lean closer and closer - so close there was nowhere else to go, with nothing else to do apart from -
Oh, Tadashi wasn’t laughing anymore.
Tsukkishima had never been so disappointed to have a train of thought crash.
“What’s my real Christmas present, then? A packet of shoelaces?” Tadashi spoke through fading giggles.
“Oh?” Tsukkishima smiled smugly, “Who said you’re getting a present at all this year?”
“You did. Two seconds ago.”
“Don’t recall. You’re getting coal.”
“Ah, just what I asked for!” Tadashi leaned forward, cheeks glowing with a spiteful pride.
“Watch it, Yams. I didn’t say a single word about your present.”
“You got crippling memory loss too, noodle arms?”
Tsukkishima’s heart slapped his chest in shock. Tadashi? A sly bastard, just like him? Maybe they do need time apart. The world saw Tadashi as nothing outside of wholesome, so Tsukkishima was hit with a peculiar gratitude when he caught this hidden side of him. It made the platonic label shudder.
When the world sees one as an angel, make them a devil in love.
“Wow,” Tadashi huffed (in annoyance or adoration, Tsukkishima couldn’t tell), “I’ve never seen someone look so distraught from being called noodle arms.”
The devil on Tsukkishima’s shoulder suddenly tapped him, whispering a horrendous idea.
“...Noodle arms? That’s what you called me?”
“Mhm!”
The innocent hum clawed at Tsukkishima’s heart. An urge began to squirm within him.
Tadashi leant towards him, too close for the comfort of being ‘just friends and flatmates.’
All Tsukkishima’s senses went into lockdown. He held his own thoughts hostage, forcing his eyes to focus on the deceased gingerbread men in his lap and not on Tadashi’s loving exhales, brushing his cheek, the thought of turning his head a little to the left as he’d achieve the perfect angle to do something horrendous…
Something horrendous.
Tsukkishima grinned.
“Something the matter, mr lanky giraffe legs?”
Tsukki wasn’t paying attention to Tadashi’s cotton-soft whisper, gracing his ear like a velvet ribbon. The butterflies in his tummy fell down, dead.
He scoffed, turning his chin up slightly. Ever so slightly, to catch a glimpse of his victim.
“Lanky giraffe arms come in handy sometimes.”
Were the last words spoken before Tsukkishima plunged his clawed fingers ino Tadashi’s tummy.
Neither of the two registered Tadashi falling backwards from surprise until Tsukkishima’s hands got to work, fingers wiggling like spider’s legs and pressing into Tadashi’s tummy, taking moments to curve wonderfully around Tadashi’s sides like old lovers, reuniting at last.
Tadashi’s hands desperately searched for Tsukkishima’s amidst fits of giggles so violent they were silent, the room seemingly peaceful except pathetic wheezes and breathy snorts every now and again.
Was Tsukkishima a monster, tickling him to the point of wheezing? Possibly.
Did Tadashi think Tsukkishima was slowing down to give him a breather, when he was actually slowing down to subtly stroke Tadashi’s skin? Obviously.
Did Tsukkishima fall in love with the feeling of making Tadashi happy?
He wished he could say no. Tsukkishima became an addict, and Tadashi the dealer.
Tadashi’s cheeks were flushed holly red, tinted darker by Tsukki’s shadow hovering over him. Again, neither registered that Tsukkishima was on top of Tadashi, hands resting far below Tadashi’s collarbone, a zone where not many friends go…
Tsukkishima knew he was special.
By the way Tadashi sighed in contentment, beaming up at him, Tsukkishima hoped to god he thought the same.
Would the history books say they were mere flatmates? That two hearts wrote a simple, average college student tale and nothing more?
Tsukkishima prayed to god they wouldn’t.
And he knew this snowstorm was the climax, the summit. Where the main character is on the verge of a fall.
Tsukkishima knew he’d already fallen, seasons and seasons ago.
-
Twelve hours.
The snow had become less angry and now fell swiftly down, every window in the apartment becoming a gorgeous painting instead of a shield against a vicious winter. Hearts worldwide shone in subdued, giddy glows as the roads rose higher and higher in angel’s rain.
Their glorious fort was now a glorious pile of blankets and cushions, lazily arranged in a semicircle with a bowl of snacks in between. Tsukkishima put the bowl there on purpose, using it as a barrier between himself and the sleepy soul curled next to him, softly humming along with the Muppet’s Christmas songs playing on the TV.
This barrier was a pain in his ass (literally) and in no way was he comfortable, but he didn’t trust himself without it. His heart was a dangerous creature, that he knew - but what he didn’t know was how far it would run to reach Tadashi. How dangerous it could truly get.
Tsukkishima had always been scared of that danger. He forcefully pushed it further and further away whenever it arose, desperate for Tadashi not to see his downfall.
Tonight, the danger seemed rather appealing. A dream, even. And Tsukkishima hated it.
Half a day left and he could run away again.
Even better - Tadashi was on the verge of slumber, so that cut seven or eight hours out. Tsukkishima tensed up a little.
His tension didn’t last, as Tadashi’s sweet humming melody melted it all away. He hoped Tadashi stayed awake - his humming was medicine.
“You sleepy?” Tsukkishima asked.
Tadashi sat up a little, yawning. “A little. Being tickled is exhausting, you know.”
“Worth it. You haven’t insulted me since.”
A playful side glance was thrown his way.
“I was tempted with your Kermit the Frog impression, then decided not to. You looked like you were having fun.”
Tsukkishima gave a surprised, rather sincere side glance back in return. Tadashi smiled with eyes closed, clearly reminiscent of something, nose creasing in a fond chuckle.
Two core memories were in the air that moment. Tsukkishima felt the cloud of a high.
The typical sing-a-long at the end of a Christmas movie carried on in the background. No words were spoken for a while, but not all between the two was silent.
Tsukkishima wondered if, after treading the water they have tonight, there would ever be silence again.
“Tadashi?”
“Mm?”
“I wasn’t too much, was I?”
He sat up again, fully this time. Tsukkishima was rather intimidated.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, you didn’t…Erm, you didn’t
hate
being tickled, did you?”
The reminiscent smile crept onto rosy cheeks once again. Tsukkishima’s subconscious froze.
It was an odd sensation for him, knowing he was cared for in Tadashi’s thoughts.
“Not at all.” Tadashi’s voice was quiet, rising at the end like he had more to say.
He did - but he didn’t manage to find the right words.
“Okay. That’s good.”
Tsukkishima didn’t, either.
An easy silence arrived and even the wind seemed to settle down. Tsukkishima suppressed a sigh of relief and instead let Tadashi’s soft voice sink into his brain, the words becoming a golden ball in a core memory.
Tsukkishima knew he was being dramatic. He knew making something so minimal into a memory was stupid.
But it was only for twelve hours.
Can’t he let everything be wonderful for twelve hours?
“Easy, Tsukki.”
He froze. His muscles, thoughts, lungs, eyes - everything froze.
His slow, frightened turn of the head spoke for him.
For the first time in a while (too long), Tadashi looked into his eyes.
“You can relax, you know.”
Eyebrows furrowed. A heartbeat raced away from logic.
Tadashi smiled in understanding.
“You talk about how dreary and dark the winter is; how it makes everything worse,” He moved the barrier of the snack bowl and scooted closer, “I remember you said it makes everything terrifying and scary.”
“The final boss of the seasons, yes.” Tsukkishima blurted, feeling awkward from the sudden solemnity.
(Truly the worst main character.)
“Yeah, you can say that again.” Tadashi pointed at the storm, chuckling.
“The winter isn’t kind to you, Tsukki… So, can you let me try?”
Tsukkishima didn’t know what to do. He had a million thoughts to think, a million urges to act upon, a million questions to ask - he didn’t know where to start.
He couldn’t believe Tadashi’s voice could be so soft. He was so unbelievably gentle it ached, his presence so warm he could melt the whole snowstorm, if he wished.
Tsukkishima met his tender gaze, smiling.
“Okay. Okay.”
-
Ten hours.
Tsukkishima didn’t see that as a threat anymore. Now, there grew a certain tender and melancholy sound to the countdown - instead of the platonic label hanging on by a thread, desperate not to fall, it now looked like an adolescent child squeezing into a single bed.
It smiled, ready to leave. Tsukkishima’s heart was excited to welcome a new label, one that was just beginning.
Although, he didn’t think a romantic label would fit into a single bed.
He stood shyly in the kitchen doorway watching Tadashi wash dishes while humming old Christmas songs. A sight so simple, domestic even - his hands scrubbing homemade cookies off baking trays, hair flopping into sleepy eyelids, hums slipping in and out of whispers, hips swaying side to side…
Tsukkishima didn’t realise he was smiling until his cheeks began to ache. Labels suddenly lost their importance - wasn’t just witnessing precious sights like these enough?
He shook his head, chuckling. Soon enough, he’d have to claim what’s belonged to him this whole time.
“You need something?” Tadashi laughed. Tsukkishima tilted his head, a soft smile present on both pairs of rosy cheeks.
“Everything and nothing,” As Tsukkishima wandered over, he noticed Tadashi’s shoulders just happened to be the perfect height for him to drape himself over him like a blanket.
The snow blew in a rage as that thought crossed his mind (probably howling with laughter) so he leant against the fridge, admiring from a distance.
“I wish I could make the snow stop for you. I would if I could.”
For you.
“You should try. Mother Nature seems to like you.” Tsukkishima teased.
“What the hell does that mean?” Tadashi laughed, looking at Tsukkishima puzzled.
Tsukkishima marvelled at the earthy tones of Tadashi’s hair, the way his freckles align like constellations. He began to pace around the kitchen, shrugging.
“Everything and nothing.”
Tadashi spent a tad too long drying a baking tray so as to not make eye contact.
“I wonder how you would make the storm stop. Maybe you could be like Elsa from Frozen, but the opposite - what if you had heat powers instead?” Tsukkishima queried.
Tadashi hummed.
“You know, you’re like a portable heater. Maybe with fire magic too, why not? If anyone has hidden powers, it’s gotta be you.”
His smile filled the silence. Tsukkishima looked at the quiet with furrowed eyebrows, continuing on.
“You could be a human steam bun… not that you aren’t one already-”
“-Tsukkishima, I need you to just shut up and kiss me before I lose my goddamn mind.”
Their hearts were let loose, like wild beasts.
Tsukkishima wanted to move, but couldn’t.
He stood in the middle of the kitchen, their kitchen, the room feeling oddly foreign to him now - it had gained a new meaning, as now he could never enter this room again without remembering his love had asked to kiss him for the first time here.
Tsukkishima felt giddy like a child on Christmas morning, intimidated by his dream present waiting just for him.
And god, did Tadashi look impatient.
The sin of leaving Tadashi waiting was already crawling up Tsukkishima’s back, so he didn’t waste a second. Not anymore.
Hands curved around Tadashi’s hips and twirled him to face Tsukkishima, a small gasp escaping Tadashi lips before it was stolen by Tsukkishima’s sudden but oh so welcomed lips.
The wind whistling through air vents only brought two bodies closer to each other - hands softly exploring locks of untouched hair, thumbs caring for lonely cheeks, thighs pressed against thighs and tummies against tummies, gently swaying the two as one when a rhythm was found.
Breathing was the last thing on Tsukkishima’s mind. He couldn’t pull away from the adventure of Tadashi; how every part of him was designed for loving, holding, kissing… he was born to be loved.
Finally, Tsukkishima could not wait to have the privilege of loving him.
He felt a cold air breeze between their lips and Tsukkishima sighed, pulling Tadashi in closer, the act becoming a fight. Tadashi giggled into a the kiss, warming Tsukkishima’s lips so he devoured into the heat - causing Tadashi to laugh even harder until he was leaning against Tsukkishima’s cheek.
“Hey, hey. Easy.” Tadashi breathed a laugh. Tsukkishima caught his breath against flushed skin, pressing his nose into Tadashi.
“I need a second, okay?”
Their soft breaths and the lingering of the storm were the only sounds for a moment. Tadashi backed away slightly and Tsukkishima couldn’t deny the sinking feeling that struck his chest, trembling at the thought of such a perfect moment ending so soon.
“You okay?” He asked quietly.
Tadashi smiled.
Tsukkishima gulped.
“I’m more than okay,” Tadashi cupped his cheek and gently stroked his cheekbone, “I’m perfect.”
“You can say that again,” Tsukkishima leaned into his hand, enough to press a tender kiss into his palm. Tadashi beamed at him, his mossy eyes illuminating with the stove light.
It lit something up in Tsukkishima. It enthralled him; how a simple look could give him enough strength to face anything.
Facing Tadashi like this was one of them.
“Your little freckles look even better from here.” Tsukkishima whispered, tracing them like a dot-to-dot.
“Hmm? Do they look good from far away too?”
“Maybe.” The two burst into sheepish giggles again, Tsukkishima floating in utopia. There was no greater feeling.
“They’ve always been one of my favourite parts of you.” He slowly began to peck each and every one.
“Have my lips joined the favourites list, too?”
Tsukkishima’s tummy swirled so hard he thought he might fall over. He looked into Tadashi’s eyes, the two ethereal moons only saying two words.
Kiss me.
Hesitating was the last thing on his mind. The snowstorm never hesitated to do the unspeakable, so why should he?
And he had all the time in the world, as his subconscious countdown was ridiculed.
I’ll love you for fourteen hundred hours, wishing for fourteen hundred more.
-
Out of the blue, in the midst of a cozy fireplace and above a mug of hot cocoa, Akaashi burst into giggles.
Bokuto furrowed his brow.
“You okay?”
“Sorry,” He snorted through froth, “I was just thinking of a novel-like love story happening in this storm again.”
“And?”
Akaashi snorted.
“It would be ridiculous.”