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Language:
English
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Published:
2015-04-01
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865
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1/1
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78
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Rhyme Time

Summary:

Even on a good day Tony has trouble expressing himself. He certainly didn't need this nonsense.

Work Text:

The morning sun hit Tony in the face like a mallet when Bruce opened shades. He groaned mournfully.

“I’d say good morning, but it doesn't look very good for you.” Bruce eyed Tony with a hint of disapproval. “You definitely had one, or two, too many last night.”

“I know. So?” Tony mumbled.

“So… I’m going to the kitchen to start breakfast. Let’s get a little food in you.”

As Bruce was leaving the room Tony called out meekly, “Thank you. And don’t look so blue.”

An odd choice of words. Bruce supposed it was better the usual green alternative.

 

Bruce noted that Tony had a bit more color in his face, as the engineer took a seat at the kitchen table. “What can I get you?”

“Some coffee. If it doesn't taste like toffee.”

“I don’t recall us ever having toffee flavored drinks.” Bruce opened up a cabinet door and grabbed a mug. “Do you want to try something to eat?”

When he didn't get a response, he turned to face Tony. He didn't like the look on the other man’s face. “What’s wrong?”

Tony was bewildered. An omelette. That’s what he wanted, but he couldn't form the word. He was saying it in his head, but couldn't transfer it from there to his mouth. Confusion spread across his face.

Bruce was getting concerned. “Tony, talk to me.”

Tony thought for a moment. “I can. But not without a plan.” He then got up, went to the counter, and pointed at the eggs.

“You want eggs?” Bruce asked.

Tony then made a mixing motion with his hands.

“Scrambled eggs?”

Tony pointed to a few ingredients that Bruce had laid out, then back at the eggs, and then made the mixing motion again.

An omelette? You want an omelette?” a befuddled Bruce surmised.

Tony nodded vigorously.

“But why can’t you tell me that?”

Tony’s eyes widened and his nose flared. “If a word I cannot rhyme, I must use it another time.”

It took a second for Bruce to process. “You can only talk in rhymes?” He was suspicious that Tony was playing some sort of prank on him.

Tony gave him the thumbs up sign.

Bruce tried. He did. Really hard. But he could not contain his grin.

Tony cocked his head in disbelief.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. This isn't funny, I know.” Bruce wiped the smile from his face (mostly).

Tony knitted his brow.

“Yes, this is serious. Okay, let’s go down to the lab and run some tests, and see if we can piece this together.” Bruce wasn't entirely sure that his leg wasn't being pulled, but he was willing to go along with it for now.

 

Hours passed with no progress whatsoever. On paper, Tony was perfectly fine. No abnormalities.

Running out of steam, the two took a moment to sit at Bruce’s desk and try to clear their minds. Tony began to doodle on one of the folders lying there. When Bruce saw that Tony was using a marker, he intervened. “Don’t use that, it’ll soak through. Here…”

Bruce reached for a pencil in the holder next to his day calendar, and then it hit him. He tore off the previous day’s page, and held it up to Tony. “Look. This was yesterday. You know what that makes today?”

The page was marked March 31st. Tony snorted and rolled his eyes.

April 1st. April Fools’ Day.

“Now who would be capable of pulling off a stunt like this?” As if they couldn't guess.

Tony rose to his feet and slammed a hand on the table. “It has to be Loki! Okey-dokey!”

Even Tony winced at that one.

Bruce looked upward, because that’s what people do when they talk to air. “Loki, I know you can hear me. You had your fun. Now return Tony to normal, or the next time we meet I’ll let my friend out for another play date with you.”

They held their breath for a long moment.

Tony added, “You’re not from Earth! You can’t enjoy our mirth!”

No response.

Bruce stood. “Loki…” he repeated sternly.

After a silent minute, Tony threw up his arms in frustration. “I don’t care whose brother he is. The next time I see him I’m gonna kick his ass!”

“Tony.” Bruce attempted to interrupt, but Tony continued to rant.

“I won’t even need Big Green’s help. But if you want to join in, that would be fine with me. That guy needs to be taken down a peg!”

“Tony.” Bruce tried again.

Tony paused his tirade. He looked at Bruce, who simply smiled. He realized that the joke was finally over. “Well that’s better.” He nodded, then looked up. “Stick to playing with people on your own planet!”

Bruce walked over to Tony to try to calm him. “Okay, okay. Let’s leave well enough alone now.”

Tony huffed. “Fine.” As Bruce began to straighten things up, Tony added, “Thanks for threatening Loki with Hulk. I know you’re not keen on having to turn green.”

Alarmed, Bruce looked over at Tony – who met him with a devilish grin and a wink of an eye.

Oh yes. Tony was back to normal.