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Tommy has Moments, sometimes, alright. Moments where he doubts himself, moments where he psychoanalyzes every single interaction he has with all his friends and thinks what if I’m annoying them? What if they don’t really like me?
He doesn’t let them show, most of the time. He knows that the thoughts- they’re wrong. He knows that, intellectually, but- that doesn’t help, sometimes.
So when he slips up one day, after Wilbur’s been just a little too short with him and Jack’s teased him for his lack of ability to fly one too many times and Techno doesn’t pay enough attention to him; after he’s failed his training circuit and he’s positive his family’s disappointed in him, well, no one should be able to blame him.
-
“Look, I get that I’m a fucking failure, alright, Jack?”
Jack, overlooking the jump that Tommy’s been trying to complete for the past hour, stalls. His eyes go wide; Tommy turns away, his shoulders tensing up and blinking back desperately the tears burning at the back of his eyes.
“Tommy,” Jack finally breathes. “Tommy, what- what’re you on about?”
Tommy shrugs, pretending he doesn’t care. “I can’t fly,” he says casually. “I never will be able to. I’ll never be able to fly like Phil, my powers aren’t as useful as Wil’s, they’re not cool like yours, and even fucking Techno can use his bunny powers effectively.”
Jack swallows. Tommy gestures around him, and says cuttingly, “I have my jumping and floating, I guess – and I get that I’m annoying, too. I get that I’m not fun to be around, okay. I get it.”
“Tommy,” Jack says. He sounds horrified. Tommy doesn’t turn back, but his shoulders tense up just a bit more. Great, now he’s upset one of his friends. Just another thing he’s fucked up today. “Tommy, you’re- no. No.” Tommy jumps, then, when a hand lands on his shoulder. When the fuck did Jack jump down and come next to Tommy?
Tommy glances over his shoulder, an instance away from shaking Jack off. Jack looks- he looks so sad, though, so Tommy goes unresisting when Jack pulls him into a hug. “Jack?” Tommy asks questioningly, guilt sitting heavy in his chest. “I’m- I’m sorry for yelling. That was-”
“Shut the fuck up,” Jack mutters. Tommy shuts up, scrunching his eyes shut. Jack pushes him back, and Tommy blinks his eyes back open when Jack taps his chin. “Tommy,” Jack says sternly. “You’re not a fucking failure, alright?”
“But-” Tommy starts. Jack shakes his head firmly and starts speaking again, cutting Tommy off.
“No. You’re not- look. I’m sorry for teasing you today, that was fucked up of me.” Tommy wrinkles his brow, because-
“That’s what we do, though.” Tommy shrugs, and ignores the ache in his heart as he says, “It’s alright.”
Jack shakes his head. “Not when it hurts you, Toms.” Tommy bows his head and flushes at the nickname. “Look, you’re not annoying, or any of that shite. You’re one of my best friends. You’re ridiculously fun to talk to, and always find a way to make me laugh.”
Tommy takes a shaky breath in and peers up at Jack through his eyelashes. Jack looks so sincere. “So don’t go insulting my brother, alright?” Jack says, his voice a little lighter.
Instead of responding, Tommy goes back in for a hug. “Don’t tell me what to do,” he mutters. Jack snorts, pulling Tommy close again.
“I will, actually. You’re being a dumbass.”
“You’re being a dickhead.”
“Hey! I was just being nice to you!”
“That’s rather abnormal of you, though. Have you hit your head? Maybe you have a fever.”
Jack laughs. “Shut the fuck up,” he repeats, and it sounds fond. “Just accept you’re loved, alright, dumbass?”
Tommy finally grins, and leans his head against Jack’s chest, the ache in his heart easing.
-
Tommy’s only warning that someone’s there is a few quiet footsteps, before there are arms around Tommy and he’s being lifted up and into the air. “Wh- Techno!” Tommy laughs, his legs kicking out in front of him as he realizes just whose arms he’s in. “Techno- Techno, put me down-”
“Nah, I don’t think I will,” Techno responds, arms adjusting so that he’s holding Tommy in a version of the bridal carry. Tommy, flushing madly, finally is able to look Techno in the eyes. Techno would look deadpan to anyone else, but Tommy can tell he looks…concerned. Why would he be concerned?
“What’s wrong?” Tommy looks around, eyebrows raising. “Is there anyone I need to fight?”
Techno huffs, though it sounds a little subdued. “No one you need to fight, don’t worry, Tommy,” he says in amusement. Tommy frowns up at him.
“Then why are you holding me like this?” Tommy gestures at them best he can when he’s, you know, being carried, and says, “This is a little weird, you have to admit, Techno.”
Techno stays silent for a moment. His grip tightens around Tommy, and his voice is quiet when he finally mutters, “Just wanted to hug you a bit, I guess.”
If possible, Tommy’s eyebrows shoot up even higher. “Okay, now I’m actually worried you’re dying,” he states, glancing up and down what’s visible of Techno’s body for any injuries. Thankfully, there seem to be none. Techno sighs and shakes his head.
“I’m not dyin’, Tommy,” Techno says dryly.
“Then why?” Tommy presses. Techno starts walking towards the waterfront - Tommy can’t help but relax a bit. That’s one of his favorite places to go. Techno doesn’t answer for a long moment. Tommy can tell that he will, though. And Tommy, contrary to popular belief, can in fact be patient, so he waits.
“Ran into Jack a bit ago,” Techno answers once he’s sat Tommy down in the soft sand, taking a seat next to him. Tommy blinks and looks at him. His most recent conversation with Jack runs through his brain, and he can feel his cheeks go red.
“Oh,” he says quietly. Techno lets out a quiet breath. It sounds amused. It sounds fond.
“Yeah, oh.” Techno’s quiet after that, but reaches around Tommy and pulls him close. Tommy just leans into Techno’s chest, and allows that slow, warm feeling to spread. “We love you, kiddo,” Techno mutters into Tommy’s hair. “We’ll always want you around. Don’t ever forget that.”
It’s sounds so simple, when Techno says it. Tommy leans his head against Techno’s heart, and allows himself to believe it. “Okay,” he breathes out. “Okay.”
Techno just tightens his grip around Tommy’s shoulders, and doesn’t respond, but Tommy feels the love anyway.
-
“Hey there, little bird.”
Tommy feels Phil’s wing settle around Tommy’s shoulders before he sees him. He looks to his right, grinning up at Phil. Phil’s smile is soft. “Hi, Phil,” Tommy greets, a little shyly. Phil normally greets him with kindness, with love, but he doesn’t normally look this affectionate right when seeing Tommy. Tommy can guess what’s coming.
“So, I heard you had a little moment with Jack a little while ago,” Phil starts. “Wanna talk about it a bit?” His face is open. Non-judgmental. Tommy flushes and looks away anyway, and shrugs. In the face of Jack’s vehement disagreement, in Techno’s silent support, his insecurities feel a little bit stupid.
“I dunno,” Tommy starts anyway, because if there’s one thing Phil’s always been, it’s supportive. “I just-” Tommy swallows. His eyes flick towards Phil’s wings, flick away. “I couldn’t get this one jump in training,” he admits quietly. “I kept fucking it up, and Jack was teasing me, and that’s fine! We do that to each other all the time – I know I tease him constantly – but-”
“It got to you this time,” Phil says understandingly. His thumb starts rubbing reassuring circles into Tommy’s shoulder. Tommy looks down, and nods.
“I just wanna be normal,” Tommy says morosely. “You can fly, everyone else has these really fuckin’ cool perks, and they’re also not annoying or obnoxious, or-”
“Oh, Toms,” Phil cuts off. “Tommy, no-”
“It didn’t help that Wil hasn’t wanted to talk to me at all the past few days,” Tommy mutters. His arms come around himself, self-comforting. “I just-”
“You don’t need to explain yourself, Tommy.” Phil pulls away slightly, and Tommy flinches, but it’s only so that Phil can turn to look Tommy in the eyes. “Hey, Tommy, can you look up at me?”
Phil’s never done anything but help Tommy, so he looks up. “There you are,” he whispers. “There you are, Toms. My Tommy.” Tommy sniffles a bit, eyes flicking down. Phil nudges his chin gently to get him to look back up.
“Tommy, I’ve never been anything but proud of you,” Phil tells him, steady steady steady. “You could be immobile – you could be unable to walk at all, unable to do anything physical, and I’d still be proud of you. These?” Phil tugs gently at Tommy’s wings. “These have no bearing on your worth as a person, alright?”
Tommy scrunches his eyes shut, barely managing to hold the tears back. Phil allows it this time, and continues, “Tommy, we love you, alright. We’re all so very proud of you, flying or no flying. You're ours, and we love you just the way you are.”
A sob finally breaks free as Tommy launches himself at Phil. Phil laughs softly and, as always, catches him. “We love you,” Phil whispers into Tommy’s hair. “We love you, we love you, we love you.”
Tommy cries into his dad’s arms, and for once, for once, isn’t ashamed of who he is.
-
“So!” Wilbur exclaims, popping through the ground right in front of Tommy. Tommy had been making cookies, but now he jumps back and swears as he spills flour all over himself.
“Fucking shit, Wilbur!” Tommy shouts. Wilbur snorts, his feet settling on the floor and taking Tommy in. Flour billows around Tommy, and he sneezes. “Fuck you,” he coughs, glancing down and seeing white covering the entirety of Tommy’s front. “You fucking suck.”
“Sorry,” Wilbur says, not sounding sorry at all. Tommy flicks his eyes up to meet Wilbur’s, glaring, but comes up short at the way his eyes are furrowed. He looks…guilty. Upset.
Tommy sighs a bit. “What’s up, Wil?” He asks, despite knowing the answer.
“A little flaming birdie told me your brain was being a dick to you,” Wilbur answers, taking a seat next to Tommy. He pays no mind to the flour on the stool, instead meeting Tommy in the eyes. Tommy looks away, biting his lip.
“Maybe,” Tommy finally whispers. And-
It’s been a few days since he and Wilbur have had a proper, actual conversation. Tommy knows it’s likely just because Wilbur’s been busy, working on his own projects and hanging out with his own friends, but- when Wilbur brushes him off, time after time after time, it’s hard for Tommy not to take it to heart.
Wilbur knows that too, and Tommy thinks that just makes it worse.
Sighing, Wilbur scoots his stool closer and wraps an arm around Tommy’s shoulders. “And I came to tell you that your brain is a fucking bitch and that you shouldn’t listen to it,” Wilbur continues. His thumb rubs small circles into Tommy’s shoulder. It’s comforting; Tommy leans into it. “You have to know that there’s absolutely no world where we think you’re useless or annoying, Toms.”
Tommy bows his head. “Yeah, I do,” he whispers, closing his eyes. “It’s just-”
“I know,” Wilbur cuts off gently. Tommy re-opens his eyes and blinks up at him when Wilbur pulls away. Wilbur turns Tommy’s shoulders so that they’re facing each other, and presses his forehead to Tommy’s. “Everyone needs to be reminded, sometimes,” Wilbur reassures softly. “So let me remind you now, alright, sweetheart?”
Tommy’s cheeks heat, but he doesn’t look away. “Okay,” he breathes, bracing himself.
“You, TommyInnit,” Wilbur starts without any further prompting, “Are one of the most amazing children I’ve ever had the pleasure to meet. You’re smart, you’re funny, you’ve got the craziest talent to make absolutely everyone feel included and wanted, no matter the setting.” Tommy clenches his fists; he has no idea how to handle all this warmth suddenly flooding through his chest.
Wilbur leans back slightly. Tommy’s eyes flutter shut and he can’t stop himself from smiling when Wilbur presses a kiss to Tommy’s forehead. “So don’t ever forget how much we love you, alright, sunshine?” Wilbur murmurs against Tommy, and Tommy nods.
“Okay,” he agrees breathlessly. Wilbur laughs a bit and pulls Tommy against him in a hug.
“No one’s going to call my little brother useless, or unwanted, or any of that bullshit, alright?” Wilbur says. “Not even yourself.”
Tommy burrows deeper into Wilbur’s chest, linking his arms tightly around Wilbur’s back. “I know,” he says quietly. “I won’t forget again.”
“And even if you do,” Wilbur says quietly, “We’ll just remind you again.” He leans back, and looks Tommy dead in the eyes. “No matter how many times it takes, we’ll remind you,” he promises seriously. And Tommy-
Tommy believes him.