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Jaemin checks his shopping bags for the nth time this afternoon. He’s certain he has everything he needs. The unreasonably expensive cologne he got for his boss keeps knocking against the set of bedazzled wine glasses he’s gifting his mother at her Christmas party tonight. Some new pieces of technology for his nieces and nephews have his shoulders leaning to the left as he drags his body to the cash register, the checkout lady smiling sympathetically as she takes the items from him.
“Oh, your kids are gonna love these,” she scans the two boxes containing individual Playstation 1 consoles and controllers before offering Jaemin to gift-wrap it as well. Taking a fleeting look at his hands as she works, she smiles again, sweeter this time when she spots a ring. “Does your wife know you’re spoiling the little ones?”
Jaemin doesn’t give in to the urge to roll his eyes. The ring on his left ring finger is purely an accessory to avoid getting hit on. It hasn’t worked yet. “Ah, no. The wife and I aren’t parents yet, these presents are for my brother’s kids since they’re sweet enough that I don’t mind spoiling them.”
The woman behind the counter coos and after wishing him and his family happy holidays, which Jaemin returns with a curt smile, she completes his purchase and hands him the boxes back in a Christmas-themed bag. Sauntering out of the shop, Jaemin curses under his breath when a teenager with a green mohawk and baggy pants that looks like they could trip him any second, bumps into him. Deep inhale. Deep exhale. Jaemin reminds himself how lucky he is not to be in that boy’s parent's shoes.
With each step he takes toward the mall exit, Jaemin feels his anger subduing as the children’s screams fade into the background. Snowflakes fall onto his face when the mall's automatic doors slide open and he’s immediately back to being grumpy, pulling his scarf up to his nose and shielding his eyes against the harsh wind.
His car is easy to find, seeing as he parked close to the entrance and Jaemin scurries to stuff the bags into the trunk, almost getting his coat stuck as he shuts the car door after getting inside.
Twisting his key in the ignition, he blows into his hands to warm them as he waits for the car to properly start up. He flips through the radio channels, only stopping when one of his favorite Christmas songs comes on. Bopping his head to the beat, Jaemin backs out of the parking lot and onto the street.
He’s excited to get home and have a few hours to himself before he has to get ready for his mother’s party. He knows that a clean and silent apartment is waiting for him, no children that will get mad at him for buying the wrong presents like he’d heard a boy yell at his parents in a shop he passed by today. No (pre-)adolescent parasites to make a mess he’ll have to clean up until morning comes, the birds chirp and his eye bags cover the bottom half of his face. Jaemin relishes being a bachelor, has seen enough of his old high school friends complain about their kids and marriages. He’s never envied people with children and he’d like to keep it that way.
“Fuck, I love this song,” Jaemin mumbles after a while, fingers tapping on the steering wheel as another of his favorites starts to play.
“Language,” comes a small voice from the backseat, and Jaemin’s heart threatens to jump out of his chest. Hitting the brakes with force, he is almost catapulted out of the car and onto the streets as drivers behind him begin to honk angrily. He raises his arm apologetically in front of the rearview mirror, watching as the cars behind him pass by, and nods in understanding when there are at least three middle fingers given.
Jaemin carefully drives to the side and off the road before finally coming to a halt.
Very deep inhale. Very deep exhale.
What the fuck.
Jaemin turns around and comes face to face with a little girl hiding in the small space between the passenger seat and the backseat. Tear streaks are covering her cheeks and her runny nose is flushed red.
“What are you doing in my car?” Jaemin freaks out. There is a child in his car. A child that is not his. Oh God, he’s going to spend Christmas in jail.
“I was looking for my daddy. He drives the s-same car,” the girl sobs and Jaemin cringes when she uses her jacket’s sleeve to wipe the snot off her face. She’s about to clean her sleeve on the back of the passenger seat and Jaemin shrieks, scrambling to hand her a tissue.
“Well, your daddy’s not in my car,” Jaemin explains uselessly and he receives a sniffle and a disgruntled look in return.
“I know that, I’m not stupid. I’m almost an adult, you know last week was my birthday and I turned six and daddy gave me a troll doll because he didn’t remember I wanted a Furby and now I can’t sleep because he— he put the doll right next to my bed and its eyes are so scary and big and—” her eyes widen in a demonstration, tears already forgotten and Jaemin sighs. Kids these days have the attention span of a rubber band.
“When was the last time you saw your father?” Jaemin watches as the girl’s eyebrows furrow in deep thought. He can practically see the animated lightbulb turn on above her head when she gets up to point at the car’s back window. She’s too small to hit her head on the roof but Jaemin’s arm shoots out to shield her anyway.
“At the mall,” she exclaims and when she smiles, Jaemin notices a gap in the bottom row of her teeth where a baby tooth used to be.
“Fucking hell that’s at least twenty minutes away.” He wishes the girl had said something sooner or even better, he wishes she hadn’t entered his car at all. If the search for her father takes too long, he can forget about relaxing before the party and the thought of it almost forms a migraine.
“Language—”
“Yes, language, sorry. Now sit down.” Following his demand, the girl plops down in the back, and after quarreling with her about her refusal to wear a seatbelt because — in her words — only babies need that, Jaemin gives up and turns back to face the front, letting a couple of cars overtake him before getting back on the road and (carefully) driving off in the direction he came from.
“Take my hand,” Jaemin says as the two of them exit his car in the parking lot but it seems like the girl's stubbornness hasn’t worn off yet and she crosses her arms in front of her chest.
“I am old enough to walk alone.”
“Guess you’re old enough to look for your father by yourself then,” Jaemin knows how to deal with defiant children, has learned it the hard way thanks to the many hours he spent babysitting his brother’s spawn and so he shrugs dramatically, pretending to get back into his car, “just be careful not to get lost again.” He has to conceal his I-knew-it smile when the girl panics and runs to his side, hurrying to interlock their fingers before he can get away.
“The mall is big…” she mumbles.
“I know,” he reassures her and lets himself be dragged towards the entrance and back into the hellhole he oh so happily escaped earlier.
“Hi,” Jaemin taps the mall’s information desk, trying to get the attention of the boy sitting there. He has his head resting on the surface, seemingly asleep as music blares from the headphones connected to the MP3 player in his lap.
“Hey!” Jaemin tries again, louder this time yet to no avail, ergo the little girl unlinks their fingers and smacks the boy on the back of his head. She looks up at Jaemin when the boy groans, her eyes telling him that he could have easily done this in the first place but she doesn’t know that while her smacking another person is still considered cute, it definitely wouldn’t be in Jaemin’s case.
The boy rubs his head and blearily looks at them as he leans back in his chair. He pulls the earphones off, loud rock music reaching Jaemin’s ears and he sighs. Great, another non-adult he has to deal with.
“What’s up?”
“Is this how you greet someone at your job?” Jaemin squints and the boy immediately straightens his posture, as if he just remembered where he is.
“Sorry, dude— Sir, sorry Sir, how can I help you?”
Jaemin pushes the little girl in front of him. “She lost her father. Would you be so kind to announce that— wait, what’s your name?”
“Lee Yujin.”
“—that Lee Yujin has lost her father and that he should come to pick her up.”
“And what’s the dad’s name?” The boy asks as he turns on the microphone in front of him.
Jaemin stares at Yujin, waiting for her answer and he is none the wiser when he gets it as a whisper into his ear after crouching down to be at her level. He contemplates leaving her here because this definitely isn’t what he signed up for today.
“She says his name is Daddy .”
After a couple of excruciating seconds of listening to the boy snicker and calling Yujin cute as he ruffles her hair — which only leaves her confused — the two of them can finally take a seat by the information desk and hope that her father is still here to hear the announcement.
Thirty minutes and two more announcements pass and Jaemin notices Yujin dozing off. He gently places her head in his lap before checking his wristwatch. At this point, he’ll even have to skip the shower at home and drive straight to his mother’s house. At least all the presents are wrapped and ready to be received by his family members.
“Yujin!”
Jaemin looks around to find the person to whom the screaming voice belongs to and his eyes widen. Now, Jaemin doesn’t— didn’t believe in love at first sight because that only ever happened in the books his sister used to read when they were teens but if this isn’t love at first sight, then something else must be making Jaemin’s heart beat twice as fast as just a minute ago. Maybe it was the sudden name-calling of Yujin that startled him or maybe the excessive amount of caffeine he consumed today was finally catching up to end his life. It definitely wasn’t the dashing eye-smile Yujin’s father throws their way upon finding his daughter.
“Daddy!” Yujin exclaims and climbs off the bench she was just sleeping on. Her jacket falls off her shoulders in the hurry and Jaemin catches it before it can fall to the ground, watching her take off and run into her father’s arms, who picks her up and holds her close as if she would get lost again if he simply let her go.
“Yujin, I thought you were at the play area I left you at to go shopping. How do you think daddy felt when he heard your name being announced? What were you thinking? You could have gotten hurt!” Yujin’s father sobs into her hair and Jaemin’s heart breaks.
“Mr. Lee,” Jaemin bows and retrieves a tissue from his coat’s pocket, which Yujin’s father gratefully accepts, “I found your daughter inside my car when she was looking for you. We seem to drive the same model and she told me she mistook your car for mine.”
Yujin’s father sets her down with a sad frown. “Baby, I told you I was going to be back soon, why didn’t you wait for me at the play area?” His tone is soft and Jaemin practically melts.
“I-I missed you and the mean lady told me I can’t go anywhere but I really really missed you and when she— when she looked away I left.” Yujin proudly smiles up at both of the men and Jaemin finds himself mirroring her expression.
“Next time I’ll take you shopping with me then, deal?”
“Deal,” Yujin grins, no longer sad now that she’s reunited with her father.
Jaemin hands over her jacket and attempts to quietly retract when Yujin’s father embraces him in a tight hug. It’s sudden and Jaemin stumbles backward, only saved from the possibility of a concussion by the strong arms wrapped around him. He takes a discreet whiff of the man and wonders if he could ask every single fragrance shop employee in this mall if they know which cologne smells of heaven and secure warmth.
“Thank you so much for not leaving her alone,” Yujin’s father beams and squeezes Jaemin one last time before letting go. “How can I repay you?”
Jaemin muses and lets his gaze wander to the man’s hands like the video game store employee did to him before. No ring, so Jaemin puts his left hand inside his pocket and subtly rids himself of his fake wedding band. He is sure his mother will understand if he arrives a little bit late.
“There’s a coffee shop on the second floor?” Jaemin offers and Yujin takes his hand before her father can say no.