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He’d never seen so much red in his life. Pools of blood covered the ground in a trail leading into the cave. Panic finally gripped his soul as he began to rush inside with the most urgency he had felt in his entire life.
“Pidge… Pidge?!” he yelled frantically into the darkness.
A miserable whimper echoed from deeper in the cave and Lance ran towards the sound.
He turned on the flashlight and promptly dropped it as soon as he saw his best friend kneeled, bent over and clutching her stomach which was still releasing a waterfall of red.
“Oh my god. Pidge!” he was at her side in an instant, but he kept his hands suspended around her, unsure if he should help her up or touch her at all, what with her injuries
“Are you okay, Pidge? Come on! We’re gonna get you out of here.”
She didn’t seem to be listening, or simply couldn’t answer as the only sounds she could make were strangled gurgling noises and groans. Her body was curled in on itself and her hands were wet with blood from pressing on her gaping wound. Blood trailed from her mouth and she let out another whimper and desperate gasp for air.
“Hey. Hey. Look at me.” Lance pleaded.
He only received a violent sob in response as she convulsed and curled into herself more, closer to the ground and away from him.
“Pidge, you need to let me help you… Okay? Take a deep breath, with me” He grasped her right hand and she sobbed and she squeezed it so tightly he thought his fingers might break. Her left hand remained on the wound, her shaking fingers struggling to keep still.
“Breathe in… one two three. Out… one two three.” she followed his lead, albeit shakily and with pained gasps in between.
She finally started to breathe steadily, and Lance took the opportunity to put her hunched body into a better position.
He settled her gently with her back on the ground and moved the ripped fabric of her suit to take a closer look at the gash in her side.
“Fuck.”
He had no idea what to do in this situation. The wound was enormous. Whatever animal had attacked her quite literally chomped off a part of her abdomen, her side was open and gushing blood. So… so much blood. Lance swallowed down the bile threatening to come out of his throat. He was no expert, but his clear view of vital organs that were supposed to be somewhere else, protected by layers of skin, told him that this was not good .
His heart beat loudly in his ears as he thought about what to do. He wasn’t a doctor and the rest of the team was on another mission, completely out of range. With no one to come help them, their chances of survival were low. No, that wasn’t right. Only Pidge’s chance for survival was low.
Pidge’s pained hiss brought him back to reality and he sprung into action.
He ripped some fabric from his suit and started to frantically wrap it around Pidge.
“Lance…” she rasped, but he couldn’t hear her over the sound of his mind telling him to do something , anything so long as he just saves Pidge !
He tightened the makeshift bandage around her waist and she sobbed at the pain.
“Lance,” she whined loudly, enough for him to hear and freeze his movements. “You’re making it worse…”
He hated how she was looking at him. She didn’t look scared or worried. She just looked at him like he was being foolish. Her eyebrows were furrowed and her lips were in a tight frown. If he didn’t know any better, he’d think she was giving up.
“No… No, it’s gonna be okay. If I can just get Red to come over here I can get the first aid kit from the cockpit. And then I’ll clean you up and it’ll be okay. Okay? It’s gonna be okay.” He caressed her cheek gently and wiped the tears mixed with blood on her face. He knew it wasn’t going to be okay. But hearing the words out loud comforted him to some extent. Pidge would be okay… right?
He didn’t realize he was hyperventilating until Pidge placed a quivering, bloody hand on his arm.
“Yeah, it’s gonna be okay.” she smiled sadly, rubbing his arm gently to soothe his aching heart.
A beat of silence overtook them and the only sound in the cave was the sniffling of two young paladins.
They both cried softly, allowing themselves to process what was about to happen.
Pidge took in the world around her. The droplets in the cave drip, drip, dripping at a constant pace like a soft lullaby. She took in the feeling of Lance’s armor under her fingers. She used her dwindling energy to rub his shoulder as he shook, sobbing with his face in his hands. He was hunched over her, his fingers pressing into his forehead almost painfully. He made fists with his hands and opened them again to press his palms hard into his eyes. She took in the sight of someone she loved so dearly in so much pain. She wished she could take it all away and feel it instead.
“Lance…” Pidge whispered.
She reached her hands to his and took them from his face.
“Tell my family… that I love them.” she said.
Lance nodded, taking her hand in both of his and pressing his lips to her fingers as tears continued to slip from his eyes.
“And tell my mom that,” she choked on a sob, “that I’m sorry for leaving without saying goodbye.” Her face scrunched with guilt.
“Okay.” he promised, pressing her hand to his chest.
“And tell the team that they can’t stop fighting. Even if I’m not there, okay?”
Lance nodded some more with his eyes screwed shut, and continued to gasp for air through his tears.
“And Lance… I love you… okay?” she said softly.
He nodded, and opened his eyes.
He finally looked her straight in the eyes for the first time throughout this whole ordeal. Her eyes were puffy and rimmed red from the crying. Her bangs were plastered to her forehead with sweat, and there was blood in and around her mouth. And yet, she was still so beautiful and it hurt to see her so small and weak and lifeless when he knew she was strong and lively and so much more .
“I love you too, Pidge.” he breathed.
She blinked away tears and smiled sadly at him. However, the bright, vivid amber of her eyes was dimming and he hated it. He hated it so much.
Her hand was trembling in his hands so he grasped it tighter.
She finally broke her brave demeanor as the first bout of fear clutched her chest.
“I’m scared, Lance” she admitted, her eyes wide and confused.
“I’m right here with you, okay?” he assured her. Lance shifted and brushed the hair out of her face. Their joined hands clung tighter to each other, each of them terrified to let go.
He pressed his forehead against hers and she felt comforted by the feeling of his breath on her cheeks.
“Lance… it’s… I’m so cold ” she whimpered.
He hugged her against his chest. He pressed his cheek against hers, hoping that the warmth was enough to console her.
“I don’t wanna die…” she weeped.
Lance clutched her tighter, and pressed a kiss to her tear-streaked cheeks.
“I’m here with you, okay?” he carded his fingers through her hair, stroking her head as soothingly as he could.
“Lance…” she started to bawl. “I love you… I love you so, so much.” she wrapped her arms around his neck, praying that her feelings could reach him.
“I… I know” he sighed, hugging her tighter.
Pidge was dying and all he could do was be with her while it happened.
She knew she would be gone soon. She was just glad she could be with Lance in her final moments.
All of her dreams of the future were destroyed. She’d never see her dog Bae Bae again. She’d never see her mother’s warm smile again. She’d never learn to drive a car, or go clubbing with her friends or drink alcohol. She’d never make another invention again. She’d never get her dream job. She’d never get married to the love of her life. She’d never walk down the aisle. She’d never tell Lance she loved him. Not in the way she wished she could. She’d never have children of her own and show them the wonders of the universe and the technology and nature that fascinated her. She’d never grow old with him. She’d never see another sunrise. She’d never see another sunset. She’d never live.
Lance rubbed her back gently until her wails gradually turned into quiet sniffling.
Deep inside, she thanked him for comforting her, for being there for her ever since the beginning, and right up until the end.
And she finally let go .
He knew she was gone when he couldn’t feel her breath on his ear and when he felt her arms around him go limp.
No longer crying, he gently lowered her body to the cave ground and folded her arms against her chest.
He touched his fingers to her eyelids and closed them.
And pressed a kiss to her forehead.
And took one last look at her face.
She looked peaceful.
But he would never feel peace again for the rest of his life.