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Nie Mingjue stared blankly at the ground. In front of him lay his disciples and family. His brother. Dead. Killed by his hand. By Baxia. He threw the saber away, as if it had burnt him. As if it was the saber’s fault his brother was dead.
When he was the one who had killed him.
He lowered himself to the floor. Sitting down in front of his brother. Nie Mingjue wanted to scream, wanted to weep and wail so loud he would scare every animal in the vicinity. Yet he couldn’t. He had murdered his brother, the one he had sworn to protect, with his own two hands. It was like his mind had detached itself from his body. He sat dazed on the floor caressing his brother's head quietly.
Oh how Nie Mingjue wished to simply walk to the chamber and join the other Nie sect leaders. He wanted to chain himself up and let himself slowly starve to death. But he couldn't. He had murdered his brother and was not fit to go die with his ancestors. Nie Mingjue wasn’t fit to die with dignity.
More importantly, Nie Mingjue would not abandon Huaisang in death. He would make sure his brother was properly buried using the rites of the Nie sect. His funeral would be as beautiful and as grand as he was. Nie Mingjue would make sure of it.
He wouldn’t fail his brother like he had failed him in life.
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Many days had passed since Huaisang’s death and Nie Mingjue still did not want to acknowledge it as reality.
How could his brother be dead when he could still hear him speaking softly to his birds when he passed the courtyard, he could see him painting fans in his room, could see him hanging off of Lan Xichen or Jin Guangyao’s arms when they visited.
His brother couldn’t be dead because Nie Mingjue could still see him and speak to him.
Yet he could not bring himself to try and touch the image of his brother that stubbornly floated in front of his eyes.
No matter how far or how close his brother was, Nie Mingjue knew he should not, could not, reach out to his brother.
His brother was in everything that made the Unclean Realm home.
He was in the birds, in the food they had to change to fit his tastes, in the decoration featuring in every room. In the fans decorating his chambers. In the painting he had made Mingjue to put up in his room when he had learned of the other’s love for a specific bird.
There was no one Nie Mingjue loved more than his brother and he had killed him.
Nie Mingjue had not touched baxia since the day he came back with his brother's body in his arms. The saber was crying for him, screaming for him, trying to get him to pick her up and wield her. To make her shed more blood. She could not understand the sadness afflicting her wielder nor did she want to understand.
Yet he had not spared her a glance.
How could he dare pick her up? How could he dare cut anything with the blade that had cut his brother?
He had only taken her from the tomb to his home so that Huaisang’s body would be home faster. He hadn’t even cared to bring him with her once he arrived. Leaving her at the door and sending a disciple to get her and put her back on her stand, where she had been ever since.
He hadn’t let anyone see Huaisang after he had arrived.
He had directly gone to his chambers and closed the door with strict instructions to let no one enter.
He had carefully placed his brother on the bed, placing multiple talismans to slow the process of decomposition. To slow down time for his brother. To lie to himself for just a little longer that his brother was simply in a coma and would wake up to pester him about taking breaks and trying to escape saber practice.
He told his disciples and his sworn brother’s that Huaisang was afflicted by a curse that would affect anyone not blood related were they to come close to him.
Nie Mingjue didn’t think there was such a curse, but as long as people accepted it and stayed far away from his room then his goal was achieved.
He knew he wouldn’t be able to pretend forever, but he would find something in the meantime. He would cross that bridge when he got to it.
The sect’s doctors had wanted to visit, but Mingjue told them it was an affliction unique to the main Nie bloodline that was kept secret and had turned them away. Saying that if even a single one of them brought it up again then they would all be dismissed.
No one had tried to convince him to let them see his brother since.
Nie Mingjue spent all his time locked away with his brother.
At first, he brought with him paperwork and filled them while keeping watch over Huaisang, but as time passed and as Huaisang started to look worse, Nie Mingjue eventually delegated all his work so he could concentrate on healing his brother. On keeping him intact.
Still he had to leave the room from time to time. Like when his sworn brothers visited.
After one such visit, Nie Mingjue made his way back to his room only to find a servant backing away from the open door.
The servant looked at him, fear in their eyes, and backed away. Turning from him to run away.
The next thing he knew he was standing over the servant's body with Baxia in his hands. Blood dripping from his nose.
No one had questioned the servant disappearing when Nie Mingjue informed them that they had come to him and gave him a notice that they would be moving away.
The great Chifeng-zun despised lies after all.
Unfortunately, Chifeng-zun had died with Nie Huaisang.
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Nie Mingjue refused to leave his brother’s side after what happened with the servant.
Not only did he not want to risk leaving his brother alone again, but he also did not trust himself to be in the presence of others.
He had already delegated most of his work to various disciples so he had no difficulty handing over what was left of his duties.
Nie Mingjue was ashamed of abandoning the Nie sect in that manner but he could not find it in himself to regret his actions.
He would apologise to the ancestors when he died but he would take care of Huaisang until then.
He took care of his brother from when the sun rose to when it disappeared in the sky, apologising again and again for his actions. Making sure the talismans held, holding his hand and petting his hair, acting just how he would if his brother had been sick.
Yet no matter how much Nie Mingjue wished his brother wasn’t dead, he was. And his body could not be kept forever.
Huaisang’s body had hardened despite Nie Mingjue’s effort to move it every hour. He had to give up on moving him, afraid that using too much force on his body would break him.
Huaisang’s body was thinning. It was dehydrated. Nie Mingjue tried everything. He tried every talisman, tried using wet clothes, all his efforts were futile and his brother’s body kept degenerating.
Huaisang’s skin had long since changed color. The top lacked any red pigment from the blood draining. The blood moving down and making his back redder and swollen.
The talismans no longer held the body together. Nie Mingjue kept giving it more energy, trying in vain to make it last one more month, one more week, one more day, one more hour until it became dust.
Nie Huaisang’s body started deteriorating rapidly afterwards. Nie Mingjue tried putting more talismans and when he didn’t work he tried giving his energy to his brother directly.
To Nie Mingjue’s relief, as long as he gave Nie Huaisang energy directly then his body would stop deteriorating. However, the body would deteriorate even faster once he stopped.
Noticing this, Nie Mingjue started keeping a constant stream of energy flowing from his body to his brother’s corpse. He was running out. His golden core was already working further than its limit yet Nie Mingjue didn’t stop.
He felt his own body growing weaker and weaker with each passing day, each passing hour until his body refused him. Until his body shut the connection despite Nie Mingjue’s efforts to keep it going.
All that was left of Nie Huaisang was a mummified corpse. Skin and bones.
Nie Mingjue looked at his brother. Gaze filled with love and sorrow, guilt and regret.
He stroked the top of Huaisang’s head, a few tears escaping his eyes and giving moisture to a body that could no longer retain it.
He didn't move his brother in fear of breaking him as he weakly climbed into bed next to him, covering his frail body with his own.
He whispered more apologies to his brother.
Holding him close as he finally closed his eyes.