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Gi-hun knew he wasn’t Sangwoo’s first choice. Even if he wasn’t the sharpest tool in the box, anyone would be able to see it. The disappointment that tinted his childhood friend's eyes as he watched Ali partner up with someone else. Gi-hun had to admit, it did hurt, seeing that Sangwoo wouldn’t have chosen him at first. The thought made Gi-hun stop for a second, before actually approaching Sangwoo. Gi-hun knew it wasn’t personal, it never was with Cho Sangwoo. Everything he did was barely personal. But Gi-hun did take everything to heart, admittedly. It just hurt the times he’d forget.
Gi-hun approached Sangwoo, who seemed to be looking anywhere else but him, scanning the room for another man to be partners with. Lord knew he’d be caught dead doing a two player team game with a woman.
“Sangwoo.”
“Hm?”
Sangwoo turned to him, even though Gi-hun could tell the other knew what he was about to ask.
“Let’s be partners. We always played these games together, and we always won, right?”
Gi-hun asked, almost eager for Sangwoos response. Sangwoo glanced around once again, before his eyes landed on Gi-hun. He didn’t have much of a choice anyways. Sangwoo nodded silently before reaching over to shake Gi-Hun's hand.
“Alright, hyung.”
“Ahh, Sangwoo-ah. I know we can win.”
Gi-hun shook the other man’s hand quickly with a grin that lit up his eyes. After all, he was convinced they’d be able to win. There was no reason to think otherwise.
Gi-huns first thought when he got the marbles was that this was a head to head marble game with other teams. Or maybe it was a physical game, having to steal other peoples pouches. Although he didn’t recall ever playing a game like that as a child, it wasn’t out of the question. Sangwoo was silent as they walked to their spot. Maybe he was calculating what they were able to do. Gi-hun had no idea.
“What do you think, Sangwoo?”
Gi-hun asked, grabbing Sangwoos attention. Sangwoo seemingly frowned for a second as he glanced around, before looking down at the pouch of marbles in his hand.
“I can’t think of any team games with marbles.”
“What do you mean-“
Gi-hun started, but he was promptly cut off by the announcement, explaining the rules.
The words hit the two like a pile of bricks. Sangwoo closed his eyes in disappointment for a second, before opening them again. His worst fear had been confirmed. He’d be playing against Gi-hun. His best friend. His hyung. He could feel Gi-huns eyes burning the side of his neck.
Sangwoo could only gulp before he looked at Gi-hun. He couldn’t stand to see that look of absolute defeat in his face. He knew Gi-hun wouldn’t do anything without Sangwoo speaking first. With the time ticking, they had to hurry. Who knew if something would happen that could possibly prevent them from finishing.
“Hyung. We have to play.”
Gi-hun stayed quiet for a minute before he looked up at Sangwoo. He nodded slowly, before letting out a small sigh.
“I know.”
It didn’t take long for Gi-hun to realize how much Sangwoo really sucked at this game. Even if it was just based on luck, Sangwoo really seemed to not have a knack for this.
Gi-hun was left with a decision that devastated him. Continue like this, and win against Sangwoo. Or, play dumb, and hope that his friend would outsmart him.
“Odd.”
Gi-huns thoughts were interrupted by Sangwoos shaky voice. Sangwoo knew he was losing. It was a slow, painstaking process, as he slowly watched his count of marbles decrease by the minute. It was almost like torture. Sangwoo sure as hell didn’t want to die. But he himself wasn’t even sure if he’d be able to live, knowing Gi-hun died because of him.
They still had 20 minutes left. Gi-hun cursed quietly at himself. How had the time flown by so fast? He looked back at Sangwoo. He’d said odd. Gi-hun slowly opened his hand, revealing two marbles, sitting on his palm.
Sangwoo seemed to do a double take, Gi-hun could see the color drain from his face. He couldn’t bear to do this to Sangwoo. Not now, not ever.
“What’d you say again?”
“What?”
Sangwoo watched Gi-hun, almost attentively as the older man gave him a warm smile.
“Ah, I spaced out. I’m sorry. What’d you say again?”
Sangwoo stayed quiet as he stared at Gi-Hun's hand. This felt too good to be true. It was like he was being given a chance to win. But then again, would Sangwoo be able to live with himself, knowing he’d willingly gotten his friend killed? All by backstabbing him? He didn’t try to think of it much as he quickly responded.
“Even. I said even.”
Gi-hun didn’t even react negatively as he smiled and handed Sangwoo the two marbles.
“Ah, there you go. Maybe you aren’t so bad at this game after all.”
He joked, but Sangwoo stayed stone cold. He placed the marbles in his bag, letting them ring as they fell into the pouch.
Now, it was Gi-huns turn to guess. Gi-hun put four marbles in his palm as he watched Sangwoo contemplate how many would be wise to bet. Without Sangwoos knowledge, Gi-hun kept his eyes on his hand, making sure he knew how many marbles Sangwoo had. He knew this was a game of life and death but Gi-hun knew he couldn’t live in a world without Sangwoo.
“Hyung. Odd or even?”
Sangwoos voice finally caught the other man’s attention. He seemed to have just been spacing out again.
Gi-hun promptly responded.
“Even.”
He said, knowing fully well that Sangwoo had placed three marbles in his hand. Again, Gi-hun handed over his four marbles. Now they were even. Sangwoo had ten marbles, while Gi-hun had ten as well. Gi-hun glanced at the clock. They had 10 minutes. It seemed like enough time at first glance, but Gi-hun knew, especially now, that time was a luxury. They couldn’t stand to waste it.
By now, gunshots had begun plaguing the rooms once deathly silence. They were becoming more common by the second.
Gi-hun quickly looked at Sangwoo when another gunshot interrupted their silence. This time, it was much closer to them than they’d expected. Gi-hun could tell Sangwoo was getting desperate. They were running out of time, and the rules stated you had to have all of your partners marbles by the end to win. Even if he was half way there, Sangwoo could easily run out of time.
They were quick as they set up their next bet. It was Sangwoos turn to guess. Gi-hun made sure to barely make an effort in concealing his marbles. He wanted Sangwoo to win, obviously. And considering that Sangwoo at least thought that he was outsmarting Gi-hun, Gi-hun wouldn’t put it past him to at least try and blatantly cheat.
Gi-hun put six marbles in his hand. It was a big bet, but they were getting to the point that they had to go all or nothing. He looked up at Sangwoo, waiting for a response.
Sangwoo had been too caught up in his own anxious thoughts to have even tried looking at Gi-huns marbles. The time was ticking, and the amount of loud gunshots were increasing. He looked over at his friend, thinking of a response. But before he could say anything, Gi-hun interrupted him.
“Remember when I used to invite you over to help me study in school, and you’d go over almost every subject with me?”
Gi-hun spoke quietly before Sangwoo nodded. How could he not remember? Even if he always acted like tutoring Gi-hun was a drag, those afternoons were always the highlight of his day. He’d always been in more advanced classes than Gi-hun, despite being in the grade below him.
“Of course I remember.”
Gi-hun let out a small chuckle before continuing. He was slowly accepting the fact that he was causing his own downfall. But in the end, it didn’t matter. As long as Sangwoo could get out of here.
“I never actually needed help.”
“What?”
“I just liked having you over. Playing dumb so you could explain something obvious to me again, and again.”
Gi-hun spoke quietly before he sighed.
“I just-“
“Hyung.”
Sangwoo interrupted Gi-hun before he continued.
“I know you probably weren’t forgetting everything so easily. I.. I liked coming over too.”
Gi-hun watched Sangwoo. He wasn’t smiling, but his eyes almost sparkled. It was really the only thing weighing in Gi-huns chest. Now that it was gone, Gi-hun felt at least a little more relieved. Still, he continued.
“I guess we didn’t spend enough time together when we were kids, Sangwoo-ah.”
Gi-hun spoke with a chuckle, recalling how he and Sangwoo spent almost every day together. Every day at school, and during their breaks. Every afternoon hangout, and every sleepover. And considering how their moms were friends, they were lucky enough to be able to spend almost every day together. Gi-hun remembered the memories, and they turned bittersweet in his mind. That would never happen again. I’m just a few minutes, he’d be gone, and Sangwoo would be saved.
But could he even say that? He knew Sangwoo would hate him for what he was about to do. But they were running out of time. Five minutes. The clock was ticking, and Gi-hun couldn’t stall anymore. He could tell Sangwoo was getting impatient as well.
“Even. We’re running out of time. Gi-hun.”
Sangwoos voice was sharp with urgency, but Gi-hun could only stare at his own hand. He hated the thought that Sangwoo would hate him forever after this but, it was worth it in Gi-Hun's mind.
“Hyung! Call it goddamnit!”
Sangwoo shouted after a second. Gi-hun looked up at Sangwoo, reaching for his pouch. He poured the rest of his marbles into his hand, before reaching over, and putting them in Sangwoos palm. He deserved this win. He deserved to get a chance to get the hell out of here.
Sangwoo could only stare in shock as Gi-hun placed all his marbles in his hand. Had he known that Sangwoo had been tricking him this whole time? Was he just playing dumb? Just like he had been in all those tutoring sessions in high school? Sangwoo could already feel the guilt eating away at his gut as he quickly looked at Gi-hun.
“Hyung-“
“You deserve this, Sangwoo.”
“No..”
Sangwoo started speaking as he stared at the marbles in his hand. Gi-hun tried not to listen as he glanced at the marbles. He started standing up, putting the empty pouch in his pocket.
Sangwoo immediately followed him up, putting the marbles in his pouch. He frowned at Gi-hun.
“How could you just do that?! You’re a fucking asshole!- Goddamnit Gi-hun!”
Gi-hun just watched as Sangwoo lashed at him. He could tell that with every word that escaped his mouth, the more his eyes welled up with tears.
“Goddamnit Gi-hun.. g-god-“
Gi-hun quickly cut Sangwoo off, pulling him into a hug. He didn’t cry. He felt sort of at peace. Because he knew that no matter how much Sangwoo screamed and shouted at him, Sangwoo would be okay. Gi-hun chuckled quietly as he felt Sangwoo cry on his shoulder.
“Oh, Sangwoo-ah.. always so emotional..”
He spoke with a small chuckle, letting Sangwoo sob.
“It’s okay, Sangwoo.. I’ll be okay..”
“No you won’t- hyung.. I’m sorry- I’m so sorry..”
“I will be. I promise.”
Gi-hun wished he could hold broken up Sangwoo forever. He wished they could always stay this close. Even if the context was horrifying.
“Make it out of here alive, okay? I know you can.”
Gi-hun could feel himself become a little teary eyed, even if he was trying his hardest not to.
“Take care of my mom for me. Make sure my daughter is okay.. that’s all I ask.. you just focus on getting the hell out of here alive, okay? I know you can win. I know you can..”
Sangwoo stayed quiet as he listened to Gi-hun mumble. He didn’t pull away though, in fear of what would happen to his childhood friend. The only person he’d ever truly loved.
Even though Sangwoo had been so sure of winning against Gi-hun just a few minutes ago, reality was starting to hit him. He wouldn’t be able to go on without Gi-hun. Even if he won these games, he knew he most likely would be able to go on. He couldn’t live without Gi-hun. And he couldn’t bear to know that Gi-hun died for him.
Sangwoo stayed close as he reached his hand into Gi-Hun's pocket, slowly placing the full pouch of marbles there. Sangwoo only let out a sigh of relief when Gi-hun failed to notice, and the timer rang.
Sangwoo slowly pulled away. He glanced at the guard, making sure he’d seen that. The triangle gave Sangwoo a small knowing nod. Sangwoo kept his hands on Gi-Hun's arms before pulling away. He wasn’t ready to leave by any means, but he knew this was the only way for his beloved hyung to live.
Gi-hun let out a shaky sigh as he stepped away. He could hear the guards footsteps approaching him. He really hoped Sangwoo would turn around. He’d hate for the other to see what was about to happen to him.
Being confused was an understatement when the guard eventually walked over to Sangwoo. Gi-hun quickly shouted out.
“Wait! I-“
He said, patting his pockets quickly. It was to his shock and horror that he found the full pouch of marbles, sitting in his pocket. Gi-hun could feel the color drain from his face as he took out the pouch. Sangwoo had switched them, knowing he’d die. While Gi-hun had been so busy and focused on letting Sangwoo go, he’d failed to see that Sangwoo had outsmarted him, one last time.
Gi-hun stared at Sangwoo, his eyes welling up with tears. His expression said it all. Sangwoo couldn’t help but feel pity for Gi-hun. He’d always been so attached.. he hoped it’d be easy for him to move on. Sangwoo didn’t see why Gi-hun would dwell on him, after all. He hoped that Gi-hun would turn around soon. He didn’t want him to see this.
“I’m sorry, hyung.”
Sangwoo felt the cold pistol press against his temple, before the deafening sound of the gun going off filled the air.
Gi-hun could barely hear his own scream as he fell on his knees. It’d all happened so fast. He was in shock, yet the reality was hitting him so hard.
Gi-hun couldn’t remember how long he sat next to Sangwoos body, cradling and holding him close, sobbing and refusing to let go. He shook his head as his rapid tears fell on Sangwoos now cold face. Sangwoo was dead because of him. He didn’t even care that Sangwoos blood was on his hands, his shirt. Some had even plattered on him since he’d been so close when Sangwoo got shot.
Gi-hun was supposed to be the one dead on the floor, with a bullet in his brain. It wasn’t supposed to be the other way around. What kind of cruel twist of fate was this?
It wasn’t until the guards pried Gi-hun off of Sangwoos body that they were able to seperate the two. No matter how much Gi-hun cried out and sobbed, begging the guards to just kill him too, they wouldn’t. They remained cold as they dragged Gi-hun back to the main room.
Gi-hun couldn’t eat after what he’d witnessed. He could barely move. It felt like his whole body was in agony. All he could do was stare at the empty marble pouch in his hand that the guards had forgotten to take from him.
He fiddled with the marble pouch, playing with it in his bloody hand. It ached knowing that the blood on his hands belonged to the only man he’d ever loved. He knew he’d been cheated out of losing. In this context, being alive even one more second than Sangwoo was torture.
“Hey.”
Gi-hun slowly looked up, and his eyes landed on Sae-Byeok, standing next to his bed. The poor girl looked just as destroyed as he did. He remembered that she’d partnered up with a friend. Even if she’d won, it still looked like in the end, she’d lost. Both her and Gi-hun had lost in the end.
“Can I sit with you?”
Gi-hun didn’t say anything, except nodding his head slightly. It was enough for Sae-Byeok to sit next to him. She glanced at the empty pouch in his hand. She was smart enough not to ask why he had it. She never was fond of the guy that Gi-hun had partnered up with, Sangwoo. From what she’d seen, he was just a misogynistic asshole.
But maybe Gi-hun really did see something in him that no one else saw. Just sitting next to him, she could feel how thick the air was with Gi-huns grief. She could’ve asked why Gi-hun had blood splattered on his face slightly, why he had blood on his shirt, his hands. But she didn’t. Because in the end, she knew everyone that’d participated in the last game, had lost.