Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

If you must die, sweetheart, die knowing your life was my life’s best part.

– Keaton Henson (“You”)

The moment she saw them standing on the balcony Kara knew.

It wasn’t even the grim expression on her friends’ faces that told her. Nor was it the words Winn would go on to tell her shakily.

It was the moment she saw the little blue gem on a chain.

The necklace.

Her necklace.

His necklace.

“Kara... I’m so sorry. He…He wanted us to give this back to you.”

She barely heard the words, her attention fully on the fact that the necklace was here. Here in the past, instead of with him in the future.

Why was it here?

It had no right to be here.

Kara’s gaze didn’t lift at all as a tear slipped down Winn’s face. It didn’t lift when a barely audible sob left Alex’s lips. Didn’t lift when a shocked Brainy’s back hit the wall, Nia at his side. Nor when Dana and a few other DEO agents inhaled sharply.

The necklace had no right to be here.

It had to stay with him.

It had to protect him!

And it could hardly do that if it wasn’t with him, could it?

She hadn’t even realized she’d mumbled the words until Winn pressed the necklace- the necklace that had no right to be here- into her hands, enfolding her hands in his.

“I… I’m so… so sorry, Kara. H-He…”

She didn’t listen to the rest of the sentence.

She absolutely refused.

_ _ _

Apparently, it had been supposed to be a routine mission, nothing dangerous.

Until it became dangerous.

And that stupid idiot had thrown himself into the frenzy.

“Protect civilians over everything else!”

She had been the one to all but burn that rule into his mind.

It had been her words that had signed his death warrant long before it ever even happened.

Her.

It was all Kara could think as Winn led them through futuristic cold white corridor after futuristic cold white corridor.

She wasn’t even sure how or when exactly they had gotten to the future.

Glancing at the necklace still pressed into her hand, she couldn’t bring herself to care anyway.

This isn’t right.

He had said he wouldn’t be back in this lifetime, not that he wouldn’t ever be back!

He hadn’t said she would never see him again.

Never hear him again.

Never smell him again.

Never taste him again.

Never feel him again.

He hadn’t said it would be the last time she would hear that steady rhythmic noise that even years after he left calmed her heart and mind and made her believe everything would be alright.

He’s from the future! He must have known!

A lie by omission is still a lie.

“What a liar”, she couldn’t help but think bitterly, remembering his first lie to her.

_ _ _

Everything was rushing by.

Everything was going in slow motion.

People were talking and feet were walking, but Kara didn’t realize where, till she stood in front of a thick n-metal door with a grim-faced Winn and a gloomy Alex.

Where were the others?

When did they go?

When did he go?

The constant buzz in her ears eased away as with a touch from Winn the heavy door slid open.

Cold.

It was cold.

So cold, even Kara could feel it in her bones.

Why were they here?

Why did Winn bring her here?

It’s cold. It shouldn’t be cold. She couldn’t stand the cold.

_ _ _

She had been wrong.

He hadn’t lied.

She did see him again.

He was right here, but nothing was right anyway.

_ _ _

“Why do you care if I take your heart? You’re not using it.”, Kara remembers the other her- Overgirl- asking her.

Looking down at the cold body lying in front of her, she couldn’t help but think her evil counterpart might have been right.

She hadn’t been using her heart.

If she had, she would have been here.

Here with him.

Here to save him.

“You couldn’t use it, because it hadn’t been yours ever since you sent it away with him.”, a small voice sobbed at the back of her head.

The voice was wrong.

She didn’t send her heart away with him.

He was here heart.

And now, she was truly left without it.

_ _ _

Kara couldn’t do anything but stare at the table motionlessly.

Just as motionless as him.

“We only brought him in… Do you… Do you want t-“, Winn didn’t finish, instead he raised the hand holding a wet towel helplessly.

Her gaze met his, then the towel.

A pale hand – not as pale as his - reached out to take it from him.

“I- We’ll just…”, he trailed off again, gesturing towards the door.

A silent nod and he-dragging along a very hesitant Alex- was gone, leaving Kara alone.

Alone.

He had been alone.

Why had he been alone?

Why had she left him alone?

Why had she left him alone?

Kara took a few steps closer, finally getting close enough to really see.

See him.

Something red caked half his dusty face and much of the right side of his head.

It’s almost Daxam red.

Almost the red of his broken and tattered suit.

“The red of his blood.”, the tiny voice in her head whispered cruelly.

“Don’t.”, she almost hissed back at it.

The red came of easily enough with a few gentle strokes across his too pale cheeks.

There’s the cold again.

It’s wrong.

Wrong, wrong, wrong.

Wrong.

He didn’t get cold.

He’s always warm.

Warmer than anybody else, her little walking heater.

“Not anymore.”, the voice continued.

Kara decided to ignore it.

He’s always been such a sleepy head when he wasn’t trying to make her breakfast in bed.

“Wake up.”, she whispered, closing in on his personal space.

No reaction.

Another bit of dirt whipped off his face.

“Wake up.”, she tried again.

His face was clean now. His beard and hair, too, soft, and free of dust.

Kara gently cupped his cheeks, thumb caressing the soft skin beneath his closed eyes.

“P-Please. Wake up.”, she pleaded, voice cracking against her will.

A drop fell onto his other cheek.

And another.

Her vision grew blurry, and each breath was getting harder to take than the last.

Still, he remained unmoved.

“Pl-Please, Mon-El. Please wake up!”, she sobbed.

The skin beneath her fingertips was cold.

So cold.

It’s wrong.

He’s not supposed to be cold.

He has always been warm.

“Please”, she begged, whimpered, lips almost touching his.

Still no answer.

She tries again, resting her forehead against his.

Still no answer.

“P-Please, M-Mon. Please! Please wake up, p-please!”

No reply, only the sound of her own tears and broken heart.

_ _ _

Hours(?) later, the door opened once more, but Kara didn’t even glance up from where her eyes were locked on his face.

He had to open his eyes.

‘Just open your eyes.’, she thought, desperately wishing she could see his slate blue orbs, glinting so beautifully with mischief, again.

The new heartbeat didn’t sound familiar. Neither did the steps closing in on her.

“You know, when he first arrived here in this time, all he would talk about is getting back to you, Kara Zor-El.”

She flinched at the burning cold she could hear in the unfamiliar deep voice, face whipping around and leaving Mon-El’s for the first time in hours.

The man – alien? – standing before her didn’t look like much at first glance. If she had seen him on a walk on Earth, she would have thought him an average Joe with his six feet, his ear-length slicked back hair and his dark blue eyes.

“I always wondered what kind of person you must be to warrant such undying devotion, to go through hell and back and be willing to sacrifice anything and everything for the mere memory of you.”, he continued sternly, voice filled with something she couldn’t place, and gaze fixed on the table’s occupant.

He looked like was trying to glare Mon-El awake, but that - much like all of her own attempts – was for naught.

They stood in silence, before he rolled his broad shoulders and finally turned to her.

Oh.

When their eyes met, she finally understood what that emotion in his voice was.

He, too, must have found something in her eyes, because the deep, angry lines on his face softened away and the dark blue turned a shade lighter.

Two people who have never met and yet, one look was enough to ensure a deeper understanding.

He gets it.

“Knowing you came all the way here for him would have made him so happy.”, he offered, just loud enough for her super-hearing to catch as his gaze flickered back to the source of both their pain.

She should have been here to begin with.

If she had, it wouldn’t have been like this.

If she had-

Kara wanted to scream the thoughts, cry them for all the world to hear, but her lips refused to move, and her voice refused to be heard.

If the world can no longer hear him, why should it have to listen to her?

This was wrong.

It was all wrong.

The cold. The silence. The future.

It was all wrong.

The man across from her sighed deeply and took another step towards her, Kara’s body immediately itching to stand protectively in front of Mon-El.

‘No sense doing it now. You already failed!’, the cruel little voice spoke up again like an icy dagger to her heart, freezing any and all intended movements.

By the side glance he threw her, he must have seen her jerk, but the next words he spoke ignored it.

“Here, I think you should have this.”, he mumbled, reaching into the pocket of his black jacket. “Usually, it’s custom to leave it in the Hall of the Fallen, but I think he’d have wanted you to have it instead.”

Kara watched in confused silence, as the man pulled on a thin metal chain till something attached to it fell into his open palm. She couldn’t really see the pendant until he held it out to her.

No.

NO!

A shiver crawled across her back, all the way from the back of her neck down as she shook her head vehemently.

She won’t take it.

She won’t.

Something like this is for the dead.

He is not dead!

He can’t be dead!

I won’t accept that!!

She didn’t even realize she had said the words out loud, until she felt warm hands- not warm enough, not his, not his, why were they warm if they weren’t his? – grab her shoulders roughly.

“You think I want to accept this, Kara Zor-El?!”, his blue orbs were back to that raging fire amidst an icy sea. “You think I want to accept this cold dead body is all that’s left of my best friend, my brother in all but blood, my family?!”

His grip hurt, but Kara could only dumbfoundedly stare at his face while her body tensed under his increasingly shaky hands.

“You think I don’t want him to be alive right now?! I DO! More than anything else! But he is! HE IS DEAD AND THERE IS NOTHING WE CAN DO ABOUT IT! But I promised h-him! I promised him I would keep moving forward and take care of you, too! Because to that idiot you have always been his precious Kara! The one he loved above anything else! So, stop this! Standing here, staring at his dead body and begging him to wake up for hours won’t bring him back to life! I’d know, I tried!”, the words flooded from his lips like water from a broken dam or blood from an open stab wound, cutting through her numbness, her shock, her denial, her self-hatred, her false hope, crushing it all under the might of his late friend’s feelings.

No.

No, she didn’t want to hear this.

None of this.

It’s not true!

He can’t be dead.

He can’t!

‘But he is…”, the silent voice spoke up again, reminding her just as cruelly as the man before her.

No.

She can’t hear this.

Not that he’s dead and not how he felt about her.

That’s not for someone else to tell her!

It’s not true!

Not true! Not true! Not true!

If he loved her, he should be telling her that himself!

If he loved her… She should get to tell him she loved him, too.

“I-I… No, I… I…”, overwhelmed, Kara could only stutter unintelligibly, fists clenching desperately at her sides as breathing turned into torture.

If only she had been here sooner.

If only she could have fought and protected him.

‘If only you had told him to stay.’, the voice offered viciously. ‘If only you hadn’t been a coward again. If only you had told him how you felt. But you rather keep repeating the same damn mistakes again and again, don’t you?’

All strength left Kara’s body and her knees buckled beneath her, dropping her to the cold hard floor.

As cold as his skin.

As cold as his pale skin.

As cold as his pale dead skin.

“H-He was su-suppo-supposed t-to be sa-safe!”, she wailed, as finally reality hit, and tears streamed down her face like the tail of a passing-by comet. “I-I sh-shoould have… I s-should hav-have told him! Wh-Why di-didn’t I j-just tell h-him?!”

_ _ _ _ _

She wasn’t sure how long she sat there, crying her heart out, but once she had run out of tears, she pulled herself up on quivering feet to instead lay down right next to Mon-El on the table. It creaked a bit in protest but held strong under their combined weight as she cuddled into the Daxamite’s cold side, burying her face in the crook of his inhumanly pale neck, trying to catch some last remnants of his distinct scent. Her arms slung around his chest as they tried to pull him as close to her as possible.

A heavy sigh, a small metallic noise next to her head and the heavy ‘thump’ of the door signaled the other man’s leave. Whether he left because he took pity on her pathetic trembling form or because he could no longer stand the sight of his dead friend’s body, she didn’t know. Nor did she care. She was only glad he was gone, and nobody would be around to bear further witness to her weakness anymore.

“Please wake up…”, she whispered tiredly. One hand let go of her death-grip on him to softly caress one cheek. Lovingly, her fingers ran along the still smooth skin.

“You can’t be d-dead. I… There is still so much I want to, need to tell you.”

Her touch lingered on the edge of his beard -now shorter than the last time they met- for a bit, before her shaky fingers moved further down, meeting the pink of his sweet lips.

“You can’t be dead… If you are dead… If you were always doomed…Then why did I even send you away all those years ago?”, her lips moved against the shell of his ear, hoping he’d jump and chuckle at it like he always used to.

But he remained unmoving.

Kara leaned in the small distance still between them to press a feather-light kiss to the apple of his cheek, then another. And another. And a third one.

“Don’t you know there is no beauty to any comet if no one is around to behold it?”, she murmured against his blue lips, warm hands cupping his cold face sweetly.

Hesitantly, her blue eyes flickered to the edge of the table were the small pendant lay. Grasping it reluctantly, she brought it close to her face as she rested her head on Mon-El’s shoulder.

The tip of her finger carefully ran along the engravement on the metal pendant with the comet-shaped blue gem, tracing each letter reverently.

VALOR

Mon-El Lar Gand

Daxamite

Leader/Founder 001

#196189

_ _ _ _ _

Kara laid there with him for hours. She laid there with him until they came to get him, and she only parted from him when Alex and Winn and her mothers – when did they get here? - pulled her away with soft-spoken words of comfort she didn’t even really hear.

She didn’t even remember how they made her change into a black outfit, her eyes kept searching for him instead.

The funeral itself was a rather big affair – ironically like a tragic parade- and lasted several hours.

Hours Kara spent silently trailing his body from the moment she found him again.

Trailing him during the eulogy in the Legion’s HQ.

Trailing him during the reveal of his hologram and memorial in the Hall of the Fallen.

(‘Even in death, they wouldn’t let him be happy’, the small voice in her head seethed as Kara saw the serious frown on the hologram’s face.

It’s wrong.)

Trailing him during the - what felt like endless - walk to the cemetery.

Trailing him as Winn, the man she met hours before - Mon-El’s friend - and a few others put down the coffin he was resting in next to the hole that would take him from her forever.

Throughout it all, Kara kept a tight grip on both, her own – his - necklace and the one given to her by the Legionnaire.

This is wrong.

It’s so wrong.

All wrong.

It was all she could think as they got ready to lower the coffin.

“It’s wrong”, she whispered, fists clenching.

The man from before kneeled, as did another Legionnaire on the coffin’s other side.

No.

Stop.

Winn backed away a bit, a beautiful woman coming up at his side and holding his hand in support.

Stop.

Stop that.

Please, stop!

She distinctly felt Alex turn to her.

STOP!

Kara must have yelled or something, because suddenly all eyes whipped around to stare at her.

Stop!

The dark blue eyes from before met her gaze, once again seemingly searching for something in her expression, in her.

The passing of a breath later, the silent understanding was back, and he gave her the tiniest nod, letting go of the coffin and gesturing for the others to do the same.

He said something as well, but the strange rush that hadn’t left her ears since she saw Winn in the DEO didn’t let her catch his words despite her super-hearing.

A blink later, she was kneeling next to him, pushing open the heavy reinforced lid to see Mon-El.

It’s wrong.

This can’t be happening.

He was supposed to be safe.

She stared down at his eternally handsome face, at the eyes that wouldn’t open again.

It’s wrong.

The slate blue that would glint mischievously no more.

He was supposed to be alive.

Once again, she caressed and cupped his cheeks.

He was supposed to be alive.

Leaning in close, she pressed her lips to his forehead. One hand slid beneath his head, tilting it up carefully, as her other hand reached for her- his – necklace around her own neck.

He was supposed to hear the words she always spoke when it was already too late.

The chain slid, almost as if it agreed with her decision, easily over his head to lay on his quiescent chest peacefully.

‘Back where it belongs.’, the voice chimed in, for once sounding almost comfortingly reassuring.

Kara’s eyes fluttered close as her lips touched his for the last time.

“Beyalat, Mon-El, boy from Daxam.”, her warm breath lingered tenderly on his cold lips for a moment.

And she knew: their time had passed.

_ _ _ _ _

‘Coward!’, the voice - now loud enough to drown out anything else – scoffed at her.

Kara couldn’t even say anything in her own defense. The voice is right. It had been right all along.

She sat there, back on the cold hard floor. In front of the same creaking table, he had been lying on. Knees tugged in and head buried in her arms as she tried to hide away from everything.

‘He’s dead. And even now, you failed to tell him.’, it hissed angrily.

That’s right.

What a coward she was.

But she couldn’t.

She just couldn’t say the words now when he would never hear them.

He’d never hear them, so why speak them?

Those words had no worth if he wasn’t there to hear them.

No worth at all.

Her grip on the damn pendant tightened again as she almost hatefully hoped for it to break.

It had no right to exist.

He had no right to be dead.

‘Here, take this. It’ll keep you safe.’

She had no right to have let him die like that.

It just wasn’t right!

A burst of frustration fueled her, making her throw the pendant as hard as she could, but all it did was bounce off the floor harmlessly.

‘Stupid nth metal!’, Kara glared at it.

Distracted, it took her a moment or two to notice a presence to her left.

Looking up miserably, she stopped short at what she saw.

Or rather, who she saw.

It’s him!

How?!

There he was standing right in front of her, calmly leaning against the wall, warm grey eyes never leaving hers.

Kara could only stare dumbly as a small smile flickered over his lips.

She wanted to speak up, to ask him how he was alive, how he could be here, but deep down she already knew the answers and didn’t want to hear them.

The flash of sadness and resignation in those bluish greys she adored only confirmed her painful suspicion.

The corners of his mouth tugged up again as he slid down the wall to sit just a few inches from her.

Why?

Why couldn’t he be here?

Why did he have to go?

She didn’t want him to go!

“Did I become the man you thought I could be?”, Mon-El whispered, his whole being looking more serene and relaxed than she had seen in years.

Yes!

Of course!

Idiot, how could you ever doubt that?!

Just you, that was always enough!

No.

Stupid, reckless, too serious, too selfless, too heroic.

You idiot!

Why did you have to leave me?!

I… I love you…

A million answers crossed Kara’s mind, but all that left her lips was a hysterical laugh, mixing with sobs and tears as she yearned to reach out, touch him, feel him, just get to really talk to him.

‘I should have said it before!’, she scolded herself, burying her face back in her arms as the sight of him hurt too much.

‘I love you. I should have said it before. I should have protected you. I should have fought for you. As long as you were safe... I should have come for you…”

Come for you…

Come for you…

Come for you…

“Every time”, it hit her like an epiphany, remembering her own words.

Her body reacted to the plan forming in her head before her mind had even fully formed it, getting up and speeding off already.

_ _ _ _ _

‘As long as your safe, no matter what it takes, even if I have to come for you a million times’, she fought determinedly as she finally found the person she was looking for.

Startled at the sudden opening of the door, the Legionnaire looked up.

Confused dark blue met stubborn comets as Kara stopped in front of him.

“You’re wrong. There is something we can do, but I’ll need your help!”

Chapter Text

This could be the end of everything, so why don’t we go somewhere only we know?

-Lily Allen (“Somewhere only we know”)

Tired, heavy eyes struggled to remain open as the world around seemed to blur in and out of existence

‘Is this… my end?’, he wondered, lying limply amongst not yet settled clouds of ash and dust.

It was so quiet.

Too quiet.

Where did the world go?

He got everyone out, right?

Was it really so quiet or did his ears give up on him?

How peaceful…

It’s been so long... Oh, so long since he got to have a quiet moment.

Was it selfish of him to wish for it not to end?

The quiet peace…

He couldn’t feel his arms or legs, but his heart ached.

Ached as it always did.

Ached as it has been for more than ten years now.

Ached like it did that day in the meadow.

Blinking grey eyes back open- when had he closed them again? – a navy blanket sprinkled with flecks of light greeted him.

Slowly, painfully, bloody lips stretched into the weakest of smiles.

“The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars”, his hoarse voice managed to whisper into the lonely nothingness.

As always, her face never truly left his mind.

Kara.

Sweet, brave, stubborn Kara.

Sweet, brave, stubborn, unreachable Kara.

How he yearned to see her.

To hear her.

To smell her.

To feel her.

His sweet, brave, stubborn, unreachable darling Kara.

No, not his.

Not anymore.

Not ever again.

He wondered what she’s doing right now…

How she has been?

Is she happy?

As if the thought of her summoned it, he blinked just in time to see a comet pass by.

Do her eyes still shine like comets?

He felt breathless but didn’t know if it was the thought of her that did that to him or if it was just his body reminding him.

Reminding him of his mortality.

The struggle for air…

The pain in his chest…

The cold creeping into his every cell…

How funny it would end for him as it should have that day, in the same place over a thousand years ago, in her arms.

No, that’s not quite right.

It should have just ended all the way back in Daxam.

With his planet.

With his people.

With his parents.

If only he and them had perished with Daxam.

Kara would never have suffered the pain of knowing him.

Never known the pain of all the heartbreak he had caused her.

If he could go back, he’d do anything to undo it all.

Anything at all.

To un-ring all those bells.

To erase anything that hurt her.

Including his own existence.

Sparks suddenly flew and Mon-El could just barely make out the faint glow of flames near where his feet are- should be? – but he felt nothing.

Nothing but the endless void that has been living inside him for years.

And now, he can’t even keep his promise to Kara anymore.

He’s failing her again… But he always does anyway, doesn’t he?

He never deserved her.

Kara Danvers.

Supergirl.

Kara Zor-El.

A girl from Krypton . A reporter. A hero.

Just Kara.

Kara, who woke to the smell of bacon.

Kara, who got excited about musicals.

Kara, who smiled so sweetly and made the world a better place.

Kara, who gave him a reason to exist.

He never deserved her or her understanding or her graciousness.

Never deserved the brightness of her cheek, the light of her smile, the warmth of her love.

The prince of Daxam was the worst of the worst and Kara Zor-El deserved only the best.

A wet coughing fit ripped him from his musings, and he could feel his lungs and muscles scream in protest.

It hurts.

Everything hurts.

But nothing hurts more than knowing he will truly never see her again.

‘All these years, and yet I still am nothing but a selfish, spoiled, useless person’, he reflected, almost sure of how disappointed Kara would be if she were to see him now.

He couldn’t help but hope Rokk, Winn, Ayla, Imra and the others would all be alright.

They should be fine though…They still have Rokk and Imra to lead them.

Either of those is a million times the hero he has been trying and failing to be for all these years, so the Legion will probably be better off anyway.

With great effort, Mon-El turned his head just enough to catch a glimpse of his Legion ring a few feet off.

His ring…

It still was the new one he got after coming back.

Not his first one, his original one.

Not the one that had been his companion from the moment the Legion was officially founded.

The one he gave Kara.

Kara.

It always came back to her.

She was like the sun he orbits around.

The center of his universe.

She never used the ring he gave her.

She never called.

She never wanted to see him again.

The ring…

He shouldn’t have given it to her, it must have only served to remind her of the pain he kept causing her.

Ironically, that has never been the ring he had wanted or wished to give her.

How often he had dreamt of a ring on her finger.

Of a ring he gave her.

A ring on her finger as she wore a dress of white.

A ring on her finger and a smile on her face as family and friends gathered around.

A ring on her finger and a sweet child, a carbon copy of their mother, held ever so gently in her arms.

What a beautiful dream that had been…

He hopes she will finally get to live the long, happy life she deserves.

And Alex, J’onn, M’gann and James, too!

All of them.

May all of them be happy and healthy.

Just… If only he could have seen them one last time…

‘No, it’s for the better. All I’ve ever done was mess up their lives and cause pain!’, he scolded himself.

He couldn’t be selfish.

He promised Kara that he would be better.

That he would be the man she thought he could be.

He was no hero, but he had tried, he truly had.

“Kara”, he whispered again, a tear unknowingly slipping over his blood-drenched face.

I…

Kara, I…

If only I…

There is so much I wanted to tell you…

So much I wanted to show you…

I… Even if for just one more moment… One little glimpse… I… I wanted to see you again.

All this time, I’ve been lying to myself.

I wanted to protect you.

I’m sorry.

I ‘m sorry I only ever made you suffer.

I…

I lo…

The stars above shone brightly, and his arm felt as heavy as a whole planet, but he gathered the last remnants of energy he had left to reach up and out.

To reach for the stars that connected his universe to hers.

That bridged across a thousand years and several lifetimes.

That reminded him of her comet eyes.

His blackened, broken fingers shook and trembled as he reached for them as if they would turn into Kara and he’d be able to caress her cheek one last time.

“Kara, if- “, his vision grew blurry and hazy, but he kept his greys on the familiar blue, “If Rao’s light is all-encompassing, I wish only to be able to see you again… In his light or in the next life, my heart shall never belong to another.”

The oath fell from blue lips weakly, only for him and the gods and no other to hear.

Kara.

Like a gentle breeze the name swept through his heart and mind one last time as dull grey-blue eyes slid shut for the last time with an inaudible exhale.

His arm hit the ground harshly, but he felt it no more as the warmth of a distant sun shining on a dreamy field of green and gold greeted him sweetly.

Chapter Text

Time is very slow for those who wait

Very fast for those who are scared

Very long for those who lament

Very short for those who celebrate

But for those who love, Time is eternal.

- William Shakespeare

"...and the little hero was heartbroken. She cried and cried, morning and night, until an idea came to her: she would travel back and find her prince and protect him from the evil that took him from her. But that was easier said than done, because fate is fickle, and it would not return what she had lost just like that.

So, she tried and tried, five times without stop, tried to save five versions of her precious prince, her valorous little knight. It was all futile, however, and fate spoke to her mockingly:

‘Five little valorous knights, all so brave and pure,

the first she was too late to save, that left only four.

Four little valorous knights, all so pure and free,

the second she got distracted from, so it was on to number three.

Three little valorous knights, all so free and just in view,

the third protected his precious love instead, so that’s a failure, too.

Two little valorous knights, in view and shining bright with a new light,

this one kissed in last goodbye had almost turned out right.

The last little valorous knight, princely hero to his core,

despite prior knowledge, accepted what fate had in store.’

Again, the little hero despaired, having failed in her plan to save her princely knight. But just when all hope was fading, an old friend came to her aid and sang to her of the way to achieve her heart’s wish.

He took her by the hand and brought her back to the moment her and her prince’s lives drifted from each other’s irrevocably. And with a smile, he told her:

‘I see everything and once again I see two people with two broken hearts. And I saw your endeavors, but you have been going wrong for the connection between him and fate to sever. He doesn’t need you to be his hero, dear. All you have to do is follow the script written within your heart this time. Your love has always been the answer.’

The little hero was confused at first, but the moment she gazed into her love’s eyes, she understood. And instead of letting him turn around and go, she held him close and whispered the truth:

‚I love you', she told her prince. ‘I’ve always loved you. I will always love you. Across all of time and space, I love you! And never again shall I let you go!’

The prince was surprised but joy overwhelmed him, and he took her hand into his, cradling it in his warmth, and all seemed to be right again in the world. Knowing it had indeed lost, fate turned to the little hero and applauded her.

‘Well done, little hero. You win, you got back your Prince. May your fates now forever be interwoven in happiness.’

And just as fate said, together they lived happily ever after...", her faint voice trailed off and Kara wiped a single tear that had fallen in remembrance of the old pain off her cheek.

Shaking off the melancholy as well as she could, she glanced down at her companion. Immediately, her lips spread into a wide smile, hand reaching out to brush away a few soft but wild dark locks and offer a finger to grab onto.

"And then... Just a few years after the little hero saved her prince, fate gifted them the most adorable little rascal who is just as stubborn as his parents and apparently has decided to not go to sleep tonight", she sighed in amusement, tickling the little one’s tummy. Bright eyes sparkled in delight and the erupting giggle made Kara’s heart melt in all the right ways.

"You’re really set on not sleeping, huh?"

“Mhm, dva da”, the child mumbled around a fist, already getting distracted by the sounds coming through the door she had left ajar.

“Okay, fine, I see how it is”, Kara grinned with a glance behind her, careful to support the head and neck while picking up the small body.

“Let’s go downstairs then!”

_ _ _ _ _

“You cheating cheater from cheat planet!”, not even through the doorway yet, Kara could already hear the chaotic mess of her friends and family arguing and talking all over each other.

Several guffaws followed Winn’s outraged cry, and she could make out a few loud objections to his allegation which only served to cause further chaos.

“LIES! LIES! LIES! YOU ARE A LYING LIAR FROM LIARLAND!”

“Hey, to be fair, if you’re not cheating, you’re not even trying!”

“Whose side are you on?!”

“Guys, please, can we all just calm down?”

“But Uncle James, why did you only give them 100$? It says 200$ on the card…”

“Shh, don’t tell them that!”

“J’onn! Don’t encourage them!”

“A little competition hasn’t hurt anyone yet”

“A little? At this rate, it’s literally gonna turn into a war zone in the next ten minutes!”

“Actually, the probability of this game really turning into a war zone in the next ten minutes hardly even exceeds 0.000002132621%”

“I don’t think he meant that literally, Querl…”

“I’m not sure I understand this game…”

“Oh scr- ehhh., scrup you, Mon-El of Daxam!”

“What’s the matter, Schott, Danvers, you guys finally admitting you can’t beat us and that we are superior?”

“Oohh that’s rich coming from you, Krinn, you barely even keep up!”

Kara could barely stifle her laughter at her family’s antics.

Crazy idiots, the lot of them.

“Oh! Hey, sweetie!”, Eliza was the first to notice Kara walking into the chaotic mess that used to be the living room.

Immediately, several pairs of eyes turned in her direction.

Amongst them all, it was the distinctly greyish-blue ones peeking over a broad, well-defined shoulder that captivated and cast a spell over her, however.

Warm.

So warm.

Warm and sparkling with mischief and pure, unrestrained love.

Just as it always should have been.

Not unexpectedly, however, his gaze was quickly drawn away by a loud, gleeful shriek.

“DADA! DADADA! DA!”, Kara had to quickly adjust and tighten her grip to not drop her little passenger, who was now squirming and desperately reaching his tiny little arms and chubby fingers out for Mon-El. The little boy even dropped his favorite plushie!

(Kara still remembered the day Winn ran into their apartment super-excited, weaving around this light blue stuffed animal and rambling before she could even say ‘Hi’:

“Mon-El once told me there was this species called ‘Knuscolla’ – some sister species to Snoola? - that look like outer-space pandas with two tails for forward movement! Like Tails from Sonic but as a panda, you know? And I was thinking ‘My godchild needs a favourite stuffed toy cause every child needs one’ and while I was thinking about what toy to get Kai-Kai, I remembered that, and I looked it up and apparently Knuscolla can sense sadness and hug someone till they feel better? Lie, that’s so awesome what better toy to have than one of those?! Sooo, I did something brilliant again and made my adorable little godson an adorable little Knuscolla to keep him happy at all times!”

“Winn, that’s so sweet, but Kai’s literally not even a week old, I think it might be a bit early, hm?”

Of course, Mon-El just laughed it off heartily, already more than set on spoiling their son with love, toys and anything else he can think of.)

“Alright, alright, we’re getting there, Daddy will hold you in a sec, so don’t pout!”, she whispered into her son’s ear, who’s little lower lip was indeed trembling in a heartbreaking pout.

This time she couldn’t stop the chuckle, as Mon-El was already moving to get up and steal the little one from her arms before she even fully reached his side. The game never stood a chance at keeping her husband’s attention.

Her husband.

Her husband.

Her husband.

Kara still couldn’t quite believe it.

He was here.

Alive .

Hers .

All hers for no one to ever take from her again.

And seeing him cradling their little boy in his warm embrace never failed to tear her up.

“I love you”, she just blurted out like an idiot, but who even cared? He was here and hers and she could tell him as often and as randomly as she wanted how much she loved him.

No more if-only.

No more shame or presumed selfishness.

My love.

My heart.

My husband.

My soulmate.

Father of my child.

I love you.

“I love you, too”, he whispered lovingly in Daxamite, quirking a boyish smile before turning back to their son, who was not amused at sharing his father’s attention even with his mother.

“Hey buddy, what’s up? Are you giving mommy a hard time and not sleeping?”, he cooed, gently holding the tiny hands patting his bearded cheeks enthusiastically with his free hand.

Their child babbled on with a very concentrated expression as if he was laying out all the reasons to not go to sleep right now to his father. Mon-El nodded his head several times and hummed along thoughtfully, the corners of his lips twitching up every so often.

“Hmm, I see, I see… Yes, very understandable. Mommy is so mean to lay you down all alone in that boring room when there’s so much to see here, hm?”, he mumbled sweetly- although with a teasing glance at her, at which she could only roll her eyes amusedly- against one of his son’s chubby cheeks, placing a few kisses there to placate the little one a bit.

Yup, her traitorous, loving husband.

Always ready to throw her under the bus for their son.

Before Kara could retaliate by pinching her Daxamite, the world around them -aka their family and friends- decided to remind them that they weren’t alone in the room.

“Hey, you two lovebirds, can you get all lovey-dovey parents later? We have an important victory to claim! And gimme my adorable little nephew, will you? Don’t hog him all the time! You literally have him every hour of every day!”, Alex called out teasingly.

Kara turned to her sister who was leaning over the table from her place on the floor behind it. Her sister had formed a team with her daughter, the Olsen siblings, Lena, Brainy and Nia if the seating arrangement was anything to go by. Similarly, J’onn, M’gann, Winn, Ayla and Mary grouped together along the table’s right edge with Mon-El, Rokk, Zor-El and the Kents forming the third team opposite Alex’. Both of her mothers seem to have – wisely- chosen to stay out and rather just observe the chaos instead.

Being the incredibly mature adult he was, Mon-El merely glanced over his shoulder to stick his tongue out at Alex and overdramatically leant over to grab Kara’s hand, pulling it up to his lips and leaving a tender kiss on the knuckle just above her ring.

The right ring this time.

A shiny silver band adorned with a big blue gem – the same gem her mother’s necklace was made with- in the middle and two smaller comet-shaped ones to both sides.

The ring he proposed to her with.

The ring binding them in marriage.

Her wedding ring.

“Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds, or bends with the remover to remove. O no! it is an ever-fixed mark”, he murmured against her hand, loud enough for Alex to hear and light-heartedly roll her eyes at his theatrics.

“Yeah, yeah, we get it, Romeo. You love her, she loves you, now get you a- ehm, butt- back over here! I wanna see Danvers eat her words and Schott bitterly cry”, Rokk decided to chime in before her sister could even attempt a response, cuffing his leader’s shoulder for good measure.

That earned a chuckle from all of them.

With an exaggerated bow and a “Your wish is my command!”, the Legion leader did turn back towards the table though, shifting to settle his son comfortably on his lap, deridingly not handing over the little boy to Alex.

Kara grinned at her husband’s shenanigans, opting to rather squeeze in between both her mothers on the couch behind him, one foot immediately burying itself half beneath one of Mon-El’s thighs for warmth.

Finally able to overlook the table and therefore the game they were playing, Kara burst into loud laughter.

“How do you even cheat at Monopoly?”, she questioned incredulously.

She shouldn’t have because that just triggered another few rounds of discussions and fights – by Winn, Alex, James and Rokk who turned out to be very competitive- and mischievous smirks – to no one’s surprise by her Daxamite though her father and Lois seemed just as amused.

Yes. Her ridiculous, wonderfully crazy family. May Rao have mercy on the kids they are raising.

_ _ _

At least two interventions about the appropriateness of cheating in a children’s game while children were around and another very long fight and subsequent reconciliation later, they all agreed that playing Monopoly might not have been the best idea to begin with and it should not be repeated…ever.

With that agreement came a lull with everyone scattering off for a much-needed game-break or to shoo the rest of the kids off to bed.

That was much to the disappointment of one little boy who still refused to sleep and had very much enjoyed the chaos, though that might have been mostly due to the general excitement and Mon-El using the bouts of fighting and arguing in the game to shower the little Daxtonian with affection instead.

Smiling softly, Kara watched her husband lie on his back with a wide grin stretched across his face, sending their son into adorable little fits of giggles by making him “fly” overhead and blowing raspberries on the infant’s arms, legs, tummy, and cheeks.

“Aww, look at little Kon-El already flying like Mommy and Daddy”, Winn commented grinning from ear to ear as he came back into the living room.

“Kon-El?”, Alura and Eliza sent Kara surprised looks.

“Ugh, why did we ever think letting Winn choose our son’s middle name was a good idea?”, Kara groaned, sending Mon-El an exasperated look. Oh, so helpfully, he only half-smiled and shrugged a shoulder.

 “Because you both love me and that’s my godchild!”, the computer expert smiled proudly instead.

“Wait, so Kai’s middle name is Kon-El?”, M’gann raised a brow, “I thought his name was just Kai?”

“Nooo! His full name is ‘Malachai Connor Matthews’… But apparently the only reason Winn suggested ‘Connor’ was so he could give him a-“

“A Kryptonian and Daxamite name in one!”

By now everyone had returned and at least half seemed more than a little confused.

Mon-El was the one who took pity on them and explained everything as Kara didn’t feel particularly happy to share the story and Winn was too busy gloating about having tricked his best friends. Placing another kiss to Kai’s pudgy cheek, he got off the floor.

“Well, you see, apparently Winn decided it important to find a name that’d work for a Kryptonian and a Daxamite, so ‘Connor’: The first syllable can be formed into Kon-El to match Kal-El, Zor-El, Jor-El, etc. The second is kind of my fault. I told Winn about how ‘Valor’ was inspired by my ancestor and Daxam’s first ever king ‘Val Or’ back when it was still called Sard, so ‘Con Or’ is inspired by that…”, he scratched his cheek, a semi-nervous chuckle escaping his lips as Kara once again glared at him for having indirectly helped with that brainchild.

“It’s genius, isn’t it?”, Winn smiled undeterred.

“Well, it’s truly thoughtful”, Zor-El conceded.

“DAD!”

“Aw, Kara, it’s very sweet!”, her mother chimed it and several nods and shrugs only furthered Kara’s frustration.

“Ughh, we are not calling my son Kon-El!”, she groaned pitifully, burying her face in her hands in defeat, earning herself quite a few laughs.

“Okay, okay, calm down, sis. Here, have some champagne, let’s toast!”, Alex tried to pacify her little sister, passing a glass to everyone.

Less than a second after Kara’s fingers closed around the glass to not drop it, her husband was already by her side, taking it from her again with a frown marring his face.

“You worry too much. I wasn’t going to drink it, sweetheart”, she good-naturedly chided him, comet-like eyes belying how much she enjoyed his overprotectiveness.

The women in the room all startled at the exchange but quickly realized what was going on.

“OH MY GOD, ARE YOU PREGNANT?!”, Alex almost screeched in her excitement, her questions turning the males’ heads so fast, Kara was sure they must be experiencing some kind of whiplash.

 The shy smile on her lips was enough of an answer and soon both her and her husband were developed in happy group and single hugs and showered with congratulations.

“Omg, congrats guys, I’m so happy for you!”

“Oh, sweetie, congratulations! Dear boy, come here, you too!”

“Congratulations, Kara, Mon-El. All the best!”

“This is so awesome! Hey, I’ll be the godfather again, right?”

Kara sent a mock-glare Winn’s way who only smirked mischievously. That’s when the questions started.

“Wait, how long along are you?”

“Why didn’t you say anything?!”

“How long have you known?”

“Have you thought of a name yet?”

Overwhelmed, Kara blinked and wondered which question to answer first. To her relief, a warm - so wonderfully warm- hand slipped into hers and a callous thumb caressed the back of hers.

Stupid Daxamite, making her fall even more for him when he already was her heart.   

“Okay, guys, maybe not all at once? We’ve only known for a little over a week, we didn’t say anything because we wanted to tell all of you at once today, Kara’s seven weeks along. And well, we don’t know the gender yet, so…”, Mon-El answered, winking at Kara.

“It’ll be a girl”, she mumbled, dropping her head against his shoulder.

“Ohh, you think the second one will be a little princess?”

“No, I’m sure… It’s just a feeling, you know?”

“Aw, here’s to hoping she’ll be a mini you, since Kai’s already pretty much Mon’s clone!”

“If you’re so sure, have you discussed names yet? C’mon, you’re already crinkling, spill the beans!”

The proud parents-to-be-again shared a smile.

“Well, we did decide on a name for a girl back when we didn’t know what Kai was gonna be…”, the former prince of Daxam teased, pressing his lips to his son’s mop of dark curls. The infant looked up with angelic blue eyes at hearing his name.

“We’re thinking of ‘Alyanna Renee’, Allie for short…”, Kara finally admitted, face glowing in happiness at the thought of a little girl joining their small family of three.

At the thought of Kai meeting his baby sister.

At the thought of Mon-El crying happy tears again after seeing his child born.

At the thought of holding her own little princess – and wasn’t it ironic that technically her and Kai are a princess and a prince? – in her arms, braiding her hair, dressing her in pretty dresses…

At the thought of their family growing ever bigger when barely three years ago she thought she’d lost that chance forever.

“You guys really love that Game of Thrones character, huh?”

_ _ _

It’s many hours and celebrations and “good night”’s later when the adults finally decide to head to bed, too, and Kai finally falls asleep in his crib. Brushing a few soft stray hairs off the infant’s forehead, she breathed the ghost of a kiss to it before adjusting his Star Wars themed- because what else to expect of her Daxamite and their Star Wars-loving-best best friend?- blanket and stepping out on the balcony. She got comfortable on the wooden rocking chair Mon-El, Rokk and Winn had built months ago, looking at the night sky. Up above, a million little stars shone across the universe, lighting the night and illuminating the vast forest they'd first landed in back on their first visit to Argo just so.

The Kryptonian lost herself in thoughts, what, with the gentle breeze and hypnotic semi-silence lulling her, until she felt a set of warm, muscular arms sneak around her shoulders, urging her backwards.

Smiling to herself, she allowed him to pull her close, leaning her head against the soft, firm skin of his stomach.

“You know”, Mon-El mused, gaze on the stars as well, ”Back when I was lost in the future, I’d try to find a way to look up at the sky every night. It wasn’t always easy… and Rao knows, sometimes even plainly stupid and dangerous to do so, but seeing the stars… Even comets if I was really lucky that day… It made me feel closer to you, to my one true home.”

His grip on her tightened as his confession stole her breath right from her lungs.

But who needed to breath anyway?

Not Kara, not if she had him.

Before she could even think of a reply, he let her go, opting instead to move around and crouch in front of her.

“Sometimes…”, he hesitated, eyes dropping to her lap, where he reached for her hand, interlacing his with hers and tracing her ring as he had come into the habit of doing whenever he was thinking about something he normally would rather avoid, “Sometimes, I couldn’t help but think I should have died in space, not ended up in the future. Especially after I hurt you when I first came back, I kept thinking that would have been for the best…”

“Mon-El! Y-“, Kara immediately protested, heart breaking into a million pieces at hearing him say that. He hushed her with a gentle finger touching her lips, however, resting his cheek on one of her thighs- her hand promptly coming up to caress his head without her even noticing-, meeting her teary gaze with a watery but serene smile stretched across his lips.

“I know, I know. I’m not telling you this because I want to upset you or because I still believe that, my love”, he assured her, “I’m telling you this, because despite everything, every little pain, every moment of doubt, every goodbye that felt like a thousand knives to my heart… All of it is worth it. I’d do it all again, suffer even more, if need be, if that means I still get to end up with you in this moment. With us in this moment: you, me, Kai, Lyanna. All of our friends and family, too. This moment alone is worth everything to me. All that time, I just wanted to see you again, and now you have given me so much more. That day you asked me to stay after William's funeral? It made my life. I’ll never get tired of saying it: Kara Zor-El, my heart is yours forever and shall never belong to another, not in this life, not in the next and not in Rao’s light either. I love you.”

Kara’s eyes shut closed as a stray tear slipped across her cheek, remembering the words he’d spoken to her before in a timeline that no longer existed:

‘It’s okay, it’s okay that I’m going to die if even one innocent will be saved by it. I can’t let them die in my place, Kara, I can't. I wouldn’t be the man you taught me to be if I did. But if this is the last time I’ll ever see you, my last chance to say it…Let me be selfish just this one last time and die with one less regret, yeah? I love you, Kara Zor-El, and in Rao’s light or the next life, my heart shall never belong to another’

Comet-like eyes reopened and she let go of her husband’s hand to cup his cheeks in her palms, feeling him. Feeling his warm skin and elevated pulse beating against his neck.

His pulse.

You’re alive.

You are looking at me, talking to me.

Please, don’t ever stop.

Don’t ever go away again.

Don’t leave me.

Stay with me.

I love you.

A million things she wanted to say to him, to tell him.

A million things she finally got to tell him.

“The world in which you and me aren’t forever? That world is wrong. There is no space or time, no universe, where this isn’t our end- no, where this isn’t our happily ever after!”, she bent down, meeting his lips with her own.

They sat there, sharing tender but nevertheless passionate kisses and basking in each other’s presence for a while. Only when he felt Kara shiver, did Mon-El break the kiss, her lips chasing after his, putting a smile on his face.

“C’mon, you’re gonna get cold. Can’t let the little one freeze, hm?”, he joked, mischievous sparkle as always in place, as his hand rubbed light patterns against her still flat belly while he helped her up and gathered her in his arms for warmth. 

“Mhm… You’re such a dad”, she laughed at him, “Why do I get the feeling you’ll still go into overprotective-daddy-to-be-mode even if this were our tenth child?”

“What, you want ten children?”

“Well, considering our little rascal’s vehemence to not sleeping tonight… I reconsider having more than these two. You?”, Kara quipped, giving the hand leading her to their bed a gentle squeeze.

“V, W, X, Y, Z.”

“Mooon, you know what I meant!”, she complained and pushed at his shoulder in playful annoyance before letting herself drop onto the mattress and scoot to rest her head on the pillows, “How many kids do you want? You never give a serious answer!”

Turning off the lights, he climbed in next to her. Unsatisfied with that arrangement, Kara poked and prompted him until she could wrap herself around him like a koala, her head on his chest- always, always above his heart to be sure he’s alive-, his in the crook of her neck and both their arms and legs tangled so closely together, you wouldn’t be able to tell where one began and the other ended.

“If you have to know, I’d like to have as many children with you as you’re willing to carry and push out, sweetheart”, he mumbled against her skin a few minutes later when she’d already given up on getting an answer from him tonight, “Anything and everything is more than fine with me as long as I get to keep waking up next to you and being with you every single day and night of my life. Always.”

“I love you”, blinking back tears again, Kara pressed a kiss above the rhythmic beat of his heart in reply before she too fell asleep.

Her one and only valorous knight, the keeper of her heart,

Their story was not meant to end, it was only the start.