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The waters around St. Kilda are, on calm, sunny days, a near tropical turquoise, and on the days of the worst storms, an angry grey which turns black as the weather degrades. Today it is a deep blue, waves tipped with white foam caps, and the storm is inside the cabin where Matthias slams the button to shut down the engine and turns to lean against the console.
Lockie contemplates asking him if he drives a car that way, but despite evidence to the contrary, such as being on a small boat in the middle of the ocean with Matthias, he doesn’t actually want to die here. Just think how much of a pain it would be setting up a second wake for him so soon after the first.
Matthias is glaring at him, and the term ‘if looks could kill’ holds a bit more weight when the person doing the glaring serves an elder god.
“You wanted to talk, so talk,” Matthias says, sharp words for a sharp man, and on dry-ish land (because St. Kilda never really dries off), Lockie always sees him as small, a bit weaselly. He gives the impression of someone who’d have worked for the tax office from age 21 and who wrote letters to the newspaper about the deplorable state of wheelie bin parking.
But he’s not. Not out here, on the sea. Takes strength to handle a boat out here especially when the weather gets rough, and it shows in Matthias now, like he’s shed a coat.
Doesn’t change the attitude though.
“Well?” Matthias says, impatience running through him like an electrical current.
“Thought we’d chat. Clear the air,” Lockie replies. “Since I’m not going anywhere.”
Matthias curls his lip at that, the kind of expression of outright contempt which he doesn’t usually allow to surface on land. “The best thing you can do is keep your head down and keep out of things that don’t concern you.”
Lockie shrugs. “It does though, concern me. It’s a community, as you’re so fond of reminding people. An’ I’m part of that.”
“Considering what happened with Andromeda during your initiation, that remains very much in doubt.”
“She was the one who said all that. I did nothing I hadn’t been told to do. By you, as I recall,” Lockie shoots back. Weeks of being badgered by Matthias about seemingly pointless details, the questions about his life-before-death.
“That was before all of this. You showed up, ignored all of the rules, that are there for good reason, might I add! And you’ve upset the entire equilibrium of the community.”
“Equilibrium. Is that what we’re calling it now?”
“What?”
He takes a step towards Matthias. The cabin of the boat isn’t that big, and it brings him nearly into Matthias’s space. “Equilibrium, or is it just jealousy?”
“I don’t know what you’re implying but-”
“It’s obvious isn’t it? You’re jealous ‘cause you think Andromeda is favouring me and you can’t think of any reason other than-”
That flinch. The set of Matthias’s jaw. But it’s not right. Just a bit off-kilter. Oh.
He takes another step forward, slower, a bit like approaching a tiger, or a squall on the ocean. “Or is it the other way? Is that it, Matthias? You’re lashing out like a child with a crush?”
“I’m warning you,” Matthias snarls, but there is a hollowness to it, something defeated lurking beneath.
“Throw me overboard then,” Lockie says, and they are so close now, just a hairsbreadth from touching. “If you think I’m so out of line… do it.”
Matthias lunges for him, and for a second, he thinks that’s it. He’ll be overboard, condemned to the sea, and there’s no other boats out this far. Nothing but brine and gulls and the endless depths.
The fingers tighten on his shoulders, and then there’s lips against his, bitten rough and and hotter against Lockie’s skin than he would’ve thought possible from someone like Matthias. He takes hold of Matthias’s hips, and gives back as good as he gets, a claiming kiss, hungry to discover, and heedless of the petty awkwardness of teeth and Matthias struggling to figure out where to put his hands.
When they part, panting, flushed, desperate, Matthias licks his lips, glances away like he cant bear to see the source of this loss of composure. “This doesn’t change anything.”
“Aye, of course not,” Lockie lies. “What belongs to the sea an’ all.”
He presses Matthias back against the console and kisses him again.
And of course, it changes everything.