Work Text:
Marius has never felt this way before.
He’s never been so anxious that he has to pace back and forth for hours to bring peace to his restless thoughts. He’s never felt sweat line his palms at the mere thought of someone, gulping hard in the hope that it will hide his growing unease. He’s never been left absolutely speechless when his eyes catch the gaze of another.
And yet, here he is, averting his eyes from you, feigning excessive concentration towards his plain white canvas.
Your mouth trembles as a yawn spills past your lips, your hand flutters over your mouth to conceal the motion. Marius finds the corner of his mouth twitching at the sight, it’s oddly endearing - even if he’s not quite sure why.
“Do I need to pose in a particular way?” Your eyes flick from the chair to him, and he feels heat flood his face again.
“N-not really, you can sit however you’re most comfortable.” He curses himself for fumbling, he feels the mask slip on with ease, the warm smile curling into his trading smirk. “Unless you’d like to pose for me in the nude young miss.” Marius chuckles when you huff: “Not even in your wildest dreams!”, but his hands tremble as he reaches for his paint brush. He can barely keep his emotions in check when you’re around him fully dressed, he might actually pass out if he so much as imagines you naked.
“So when’s this assignment of yours due?” You ask, and Marius finds himself blinking.
Oh, that is what he told you isn’t it? That he had an assignment due soon, and his model had flaked out on him last minute.
“Next Sunday.” You nod, and watch him press paint onto his palette, the gentle sound of the smooth repetitive motions filling the studio.
It’s not entirely a lie, he does need to have this piece done by Sunday. But it’s not for any assignment, and his model didn’t change their mind last minute. For one, because he never considered any model other than you for his piece. He’d tried to do it without you of course, conjuring the image of your hair glimmering with iridescent hue in sunlight, the gentle curl of your smile. But no matter how hard he tried, the images he imagined seemed to pale in comparison to the real thing. He’d even tried using a photograph, his eyes squinted as he stared at the picture of you on Themis’s website before finally relenting and asking you to model for him in person. You’ve only been here for a moment, but he can already catch all the mistakes he made in the ruined canvases hidden in the supply closet.
The colors he used for your skin tone weren’t quite right, he needs to use a warmer color for the undertone. Your nose is a little longer than he thought, and one nostril is slightly bigger than the other. There’s slight discoloration along your forehead and jaw, and the dark circles under your eyes seem a little darker as light streams in from the window beside you.
“That's a pretty tight turnaround, do you think you’ll be able to pull it off?” The sound of your voice draws him out of his thoughts and back to reality. The mask slips over his face again, a lopsided grin lilting onto his face. He shrugs, and gives his best ‘half-hearted’ expression.
“As long as I pass, that’s all that matters.” While the words that slip past his lips are cloaked in dishonesty, he’s earnest about his ease. The second he saw you, he knew he would finally be able to do the vision that haunted his thoughts justice. You raise an eyebrow, but you don’t say anything, allowing silence to cloak the studio as Marius works.
Marius isn’t sure why he feels this way. He’s not sure why it takes him three long seconds to think of a lie, and another three long seconds for the lie to roll off his tongue in a believable manner. He’s not sure why his stomach twists whenever he forces himself to look into your eyes after a lie, because otherwise you’ll know better than to believe him. And worst of all, he’s not sure why the thought of lying to you unsettles him so deeply. He can’t recall the last time he felt remorse for his deceit, not when it was so closely intertwined with his survival. And yet…
He glances at you between strokes of his brush. You’re nothing special, not really. You’re cute of course, the slope of your cheeks and the gentle hue of your features is anything but unattractive. But Marius has seen beauty far greater than that you possess, he’s seen cheekbones so sharp they could cut diamonds, abdominal muscles that protrude in six symmetrical quadrants, and eyes the color of gold.
Marius has seen people far more beautiful than you; so why is it when he looks at them he’s plagued by thoughts of you?
The creamy hue of your eyelids when you fight off sleep once again.
‘Just a few more minutes, I’m sure something in this case will line up soon.’
The rosy tint of your lips as they arch in a smile.
‘Isn’t this painting lovely Marius?’
The stars that sparkle in your eyes like constellations, like an entire universe contained inside a single iris, when you gaze at his paintings.
‘It’s beautiful, but…it makes me feel a little lonely too.’
“So what are you painting for your assignment?” Reality clashes with memory, the two fusing together when you call out to him.
“You know that statue of the goddess Themis downtown?” He asks, he watches the subtle tilt of your head as you nod, both of your hands clasped in one another as they lie on your lap.
‘Well whenever I see it, it reminds me of you.’ The words dance on his tongue, threatening to spill past his lips without warning. For a second, he considers letting them, it might be cathartic to let his true thoughts run free. But his survival instinct wins the battle in the end, and at the last moment he swallows his words whole with a gulp.
“I think you’ve got the same proportions as it.” He jokes, and you roll your eyes.
“I’m pretty sure that statue is, like, eight feet tall.”
“I guess I’ll just have to imagine the extra inches then.” He feels laughter bubble in his chest at your exasperated expression.
It’s not that you look like her, not really. But there’s something in the way you can’t avert your eyes from the injustice of the world. The quiet dignity and grace you yourself with, the way you stretch out your hand to anyone who needs it without asking for anything in return.
To Marius you’re nothing short of a goddess, one that’s chosen to walk on earth, just this once.
Just like Themis, you already have a scale; someone to show you the thin line between ‘right’ and ‘wrong’. You already have a sword; a raven to strike down those that have fallen on the wrong side of justice. You already have a blindfold; a pale hand to cover your eyes so that you remain impartial. All that’s missing is a lion; an unstoppable force that will provide your justice with the momentum it needs to come to fruition.
But Marius isn’t a lion. His force is something gentler, because brute force does little to sway public opinion in these times. His force is sickly green poison cloaked in the sweet facade of a rebellious playboy with too much time on his hands. He finds his mouth arching into a smile as he paints emerald green at your feet.
He can’t be your lion, but he can be your snake, someone to slither through the crevices of society, and infect their vital points before they can raise their sword to you.
Marius has never felt the desire to protect another living creature this fiercely before. His eyes meet yours over the edge of his canvas, and he finds himself softening further under the presence of your smile.
Marius isn’t sure what this feeling is, but at that moment, he thinks maybe it’s love.