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"It's pretty hot, isn't it, Haru?" Makoto said after a long but comfortable silence between him and his childhood friend.
Haruka nodded, not knowing what else there was to say.
"Wanna get ice cream?" Makoto asked, with a big grin on his face.
Haruka nodded, again, hesitantly. Letting his friend take his arm and lead them to the nearby convenience store.
While they---Makoto, really---was paying, Makoto suddenly jumped as if remembering something he forgot, "I didn't do the essay that's due tomorrow!"
Haruka was not surprised by this, he was actually going to bring it up but then the other man decided that they should buy ice cream.
Makoto was quick to grab their ice cream once it was put in plastic and turned to Haruka.
"Can I stay over at your place tonight, Haru? I don't think I'll be able to finish it with Ren and Ran at home," he said shyly, scratching his cheek with the other hand that wasn't holding their ice cream.
Haruka agreed. Because when will there be a day he refuses his childhood friend?
***
"Sorry for the intrusion," Makoto greeted as he was removing his shoes.
"You know I'm the only one here," Haruka murmured, though it was still heard by Makoto.
"But it's still fun to say it!"
"Do what you want," Haruka said under his breath after a few seconds.
"Do you want to eat dinner first or ice cream?" Makoto asked, holding up the plastic bag.
"It'll spoil your appetite if you eat ice cream first," Haruka said in a matter-of-fact way, getting the plastic bag Makoto and getting out the ice cream they got to put it in the freezer.
Makoto deflated, "I knew that was what you were going to say but I held hope anyway."
Sometimes, when their roles get reversed, when Haruka is the voice of reason and not Makoto, like this one, it makes Haruka… feel things. Weird feelings, but not uncomfortable. It's been like this for quite some time now. It feels… as if this is something he wants in his life, the missing piece. But he always dismisses the thought, quickly and hurriedly, because what can possibly be more important than water and swimming in it? It's the only place where he feels at peace, although being with Makoto is a close second; with his smile that's almost as blinding as the sun, his tall and strong build that doesn't mean anything because he gets scared easily, with his eyes that stares into Haruka's and, though isn't the same color as the ocean's, is as deep as one, or maybe like a forest Haruka wouldn't mind being lost into---
"Can I see your work, Haru?"
Makoto snapped him from his thoughts. Haruka realized he was cooking mackerel right now and is almost close to burning it.
"Yeah, it's in my bag," he answered nonchalantly.
"Thanks!"
While they were eating, Makoto would take a break from eating and write down his essay. Haruka didn't say anything, content from just watching his best friend get all excited when he thinks of something to add to his essay. It was a cute sight.
Cute?
Why did he just think Makoto was cute.
That hasn't happened before.
No, that wasn't right. Haruka had thought of Makoto cute before. But this was different. He still couldn't place why.
"What's the english word for "like" again?"
Haruka accidentally hit his leg beneath the table out of surprise.
"... Like, " he said in english, ignoring the questioning look Makoto was giving his way.
"Are you okay, Haru?"
Of course Makoto wasn't going to ignore it.
"Yes."
Haruka continued eating, Makoto understood Haruka didn't want to talk about it further. And so the taller man continued writing his homework.
They were silent for the remaining time they ate. It was the comfortable kind. The only kind of silence between them since they've been kids.
But while Makoto was busy writing his essay, Haruka spent his time thinking of what Makoto just said. Hearing the word "like" from his friend made his heart do things. Although this weird feeling isn't uncomfortable, it was annoying. He wondered if maybe he was developing an illness. He decided he should look it up later.
"English is so hard," Makoto groaned while Haruka was cleaning up the plates.
The shorter man listened to his continuous complaints the short time he was washing both their dishes.
He sat next to Makoto and looked over to see what Makoto had written. There were a few grammatical errors but he wasn't sure if they actually were because, like his friend, he didn't have a firm grasp of the messy english language.
"How much do you still have to write?" He asked, distracting his friend for a bit who looked close to ripping his hair out of frustration.
"One paragraph left." A beat. "How about we eat the ice cream we bought?"
So they did. Makoto stood up before Haruka could and took out the two popsicles they bought.
Haruka had a strawberry-flavored one and Makoto had a vanilla-flavored one.
Makoto moaned the first time he licked his ice cream, "It's so good! We should've bought more."
Haruka turned to Makoto. He thinks he was going to say something but the sight of his friend cheerfully licking his popsicle made him forget everything for a second and gulp.
"What's wrong?" Makoto asked when he felt Haruka's stare.
Haruka quickly turned his head away, "Nothing."
"Are you sure? It seems like something's been bothering you," Makoto said in a worried voice.
Haruka nodded, "Yeah, it's nothing."
Then, before Makoto could think of a topic to talk about, Haruka's mouth had already opened to say, "Do you think you can taste food in someone else's mouth?"
"What?"
Haruka didn't know what he's saying either, he was going to say he was joking or whatever lame excuse he could come up with but what came out was, "If we kiss right now, do you think I can taste the vanilla-flavored ice cream you're eating right now?"
Neither of them knows where this conversation is going.
For a second, Haruka has been overcome by his nerves and was going to take it back when Makoto suddenly said, "Do you want to try?"
Harula gave a firm nod, not looking as nervous as he felt. And he was. Nervous, that is. Very. His heart is beating so fast that he's tempted to put a hand on his chest to avoid it from going out or to catch it if it does go out. He's surprised it's not the loudest sound in the room, instead he swallows and he swears that was the only sound in the room at that moment. Not knowing that was the same thought Makoto was having for himself, minus the swallowing part because Makoto felt his mouth had gone dry. He was scared to even breathe.
Makoto was scared Haruka was going to take it back but he was also scared Haruka wasn't going to take it back. He was scared of taking this seriously but he also didn't have the courage to laugh this off and take it as a joke. Haruka rarely jokes. Maybe this is one of those times. Except he knows his childhood friend too much for that.
Shit, they both thought.
There's no going back if they do this.
And honestly, they find that they don't care that much, if only to feel the other person's lips against theirs. They want each other so bad, they realized, it hurt.
Makoto had been thinking about Haruka. A lot. For a few weeks now. Since had a dream about his friend. They were both underwater but they could still breathe. At first, Makoto didn't know what was going on, looking around but not seeing anything except darkness. Then, he felt a hand grab his. Light flooded around them and then fireworks went off. They were still underwater but there were now fireworks. He turned to see Haruka, leaning in with his eyes closed. He found himself also leaning in. That was it because by then his alarm went off. He didn't remember the dream until he saw Haruka that day.
He tried to ignore it. It wasn't the first time he had that kind of dream, he had a dream about a close female classmate once and they both just laughed it off, because he saw it as something silly. It didn't affect him in any way.
This was different, he couldn't even imagine telling it to another person because it felt so personal. So intimate. Especially if he laughed about it. It felt like he was betraying Haruka.
Him, betray Haruka? That was an oxymoron.
So he tried his best to pretend like his heart didn't beat faster when he sees, hears, touch, or even smell his childhood friend. This was just an aftereffect from having had a dream like that. This was normal and is going away.
Except now, he couldn't see it happening because he was doing exactly what he was about to do in the dream.
This was a bad idea.
Still, finally, Makoto took a deep breath like he does before swimming to calm his nerves and leaned in to kiss Haruka---Haru.
And it didn't feel anything at first, then all at once, he's overwhelmed. Haruka held his shoulders, like he knew Makoto wanted---was going to run away.
Makoto shouldn't be doing this. This isn't something best friends do. Maybe they're closer than what society views as friendships but they're not actually…
Haruka inserted his tongue.
What was Makoto thinking about again?
Everything went by so fast and yet also so slow by then. He couldn't think about anything except the feeling of Haruka's hands on his shoulders. He still had his school uniform on but he swears he could feel the heat of Haruka's hands.
After several seconds of that, they pulled away from each other. Neither of them knew who pulled away first but they knew it wasn't only because they needed to breathe, it was also because if they kissed even a second longer, their hearts may just actually come out of their chests.
"Did you taste the vanilla?" Makoto asked, panting.
Haruka realized the same thing Makoto did at the same time.
Oh, I have feelings for Haru.
Oh, I have feelings for Makoto.
"I'm not sure. Let me try again," Haruka answered, panting just as much as Makoto was.
They looked at each other for a brief moment. They didn't need to say anything, they both knew. And so, Haruka leaned in again and captured Makoto's welcoming lips against his.
Their kisses became hungrier, more desperate, more wanting . Haruka swung one of his legs over Makoto and straddled his friend, Makoto held onto his hips firmly. They explored each other's mouths which tasted very much like the ice cream they were just eating. Except sweeter, especially as the vanilla and strawberry flavor mix with one another.
Haruka would say Makoto would be the human equivalent of water, except he briefly thought that if he had to pick, he'd pick Makoto. It was just a passing thought, he barely even noticed it, with the kissing and all. And he didn't have to pick. He could have both.
Makoto would say Haruka was the human equivalent of Haruka. Because there was only ever Haruka. And he thinks there will only ever be Haru. Makoto's past, present, and, hopefully, future will always involve Haru.
They pulled away after… they didn't know how long. But it was certainly much longer than their first kiss.
"Makoto…"
"Haru-chan…"
Haruka smiled, looping his arms round Makoto's neck, as he said, "I told you to not call me -chan."
"Yeah, but that was when we were friends. I think I should be able to call you that now since we're dating."
It took everything in Makoto to say that. For a second, he was afraid that, for the first time ever, he was misreading his friend because of the surprised look on his face but then Haruka rested his head against his own arms that was looped around Makoto's neck to hide his reddened face.
"....Okay."