Work Text:
"Are you sure about this?"
Despite loving the idea of cuddling Sara until the morning arrived, her heart was pounding too hard in her chest to allow that. She had decided to leave the tengu in her bedroom and use another room to sleep, but Sara's pleading eyes suggested otherwise.
"Well... It's our first night together. I-"
Oh no.
Sara eagerly tapped the bed's mattress, turning away her vision as fast as she could. God, her heart hammered way too strongly against her ribs.
"D... Do you really want to?" Kokomi took a few steps further.
"Yes... I do."
Her breath stops, getting closer and closer to the tengu. Her hand reached out for Sara's who roughly brought her into a hug. Kokomi needs a moment to swallow the movement, but after a few seconds she was able to trace her fingers through Sara's silky hair.
The other's grip only gets tighter, yet Kokomi's becomes ever so gentle. She can feel the night sky surrounding them, becoming part of the dimly illuminated stars. The only things on sight were a lamp, the bed, and their tight embrace. Kokomi wished to paint a picture of the scenery.
But alas, all things must come to an end. She pulls away, her hands never leaving Sara. They trace through her shoulders, her hair, her neck, and finally, her cheeks. Deep, tired eyes met her. Many things happened that day, no wonder the sheets looked so welcoming.
"Hey."
"Mm?"
"I love you." Kokomi whispered as her lips brushed on Sara's forehead. She played with her dark strands of hair before stepping aside, reaching the contrary side of the bed.
Hesitation.
If only she could simply lay down and admire her lover's gaze, she would be free from all the weight on her shoulders. But what could be more difficult than allowing herself some peace at last? Was she even worthy of such a relationship when so many are out there risking their lives for their loved ones? Kokomi hates it, and yet she cannot get enough of that feeling. The kind that pushes her towards falling on someone's arms.
Sara's arms.
It is only when her name is called out that she's pulled away from her trance. That pair of eyes could only be so piercing and so merciful at the same time.
She finds herself weakly letting her body do its thing. Her mind becomes blank through the process until she's finally looking at the ceiling, her limbs as relaxed as they are tensed.
She looks at her side. Sara is still on the border of the bed, her head pointed to the floor. Her brain begs her to call her out, but no words come out of her mouth.
Silence.
Sara's torso almost rotates towards her, but something stopped her in her tracks.
"You know..." the voice is barely able to reach Kokomi, unsure if the reason is her exhaustion or Sara's. "It's been a long time since someone gave me any company at this hour."
It was sorrowly silent. Kokomi rolled to the side, facing Sara's body, and got slightly closer with gingerly hesitation. The pillows still marked a division, but the distance was more than enough to sense each other.
Sara could have sworn that a flame was building up inside, threatening to explode her and get her arms around Kokomi. But her pace could only be so fast, so she swallowed her instincts and pried open her lips.
"I still can't believe we're dating. Since today." Her hands clutched onto the bedsheets. "All this time, I thought I wouldn't see the day in which I found someone to be so close to. And here you are."
She grinned, her eyes shining towards Kokomi's flustered gaze. Kokomi was merely able to hide behind the blankets in a desperate attempt to hold back her emotions, afraid she might jump out and squeeze Sara out of nowhere. But she stayed still, feeling as Sara's voice got closer.
"Perhaps, in an alternate universe, we’re battling against the odds once more, leading to an inevitable disparity, an endless conflict of wrongs where no one is truly in the right. It has been haunting my thoughts ever since we got together. That is, after all, not far from what we could’ve become.”
Kokomi’s hair was caressed by a tender hand, and her forehead was soon met with a pair of lips.
“But I’m so glad that is not where fate has led us to."
"Sara..."
They briefly stared at each other, their palms caressing each other in slow motion. “Pardon me, I’ve let my emotions dawdle away our precious time.”
Kokomi simply giggled, propping her head on their connected hands. “No need to worry, we’ve got the whole night.”
A blush emerged on Sara’s countenance. Kokomi’s soft skin contrasted her calloused hands, and their breaths were the only thing reaching her ears. She was pulled in for a kiss, one that washed away all doubt and worry on her rumination. The blankets were shaken out of the way, her hands tracing around her body as if fragile porcelain it were. Kokomi surrounded Sara’s neck with her arms, fiercely demanding to never pull away.
Never abandon her.
Seeing as their oxygen had run out, Sara whispered, in a low, faint voice, “Please warn me if I hurt you, alright.”
And soon after Kokomi’s nod allowed her in, her clothes flew free, far away from intrusion and chagrin. As far as they knew, it could be their last time together as unconfined as they were, fully aware of the cruelties of existence beyond their surrounding walls. Here they were, engulfing in the safety of the moment. Uninterrupted, sheltered from the many ways the war destroyed them and their citizens.
Sara’s touch reached Kokomi’s bare abdomen, tracing circles with her fingers before pulling the border of her lower clothes.
“Sara, hold on.”
She glared up. “Do you wish to stop?”
“No, no, that’s not it. Uhm…”
It was a rare sight to find Kokomi at a loss of words. Her swift ways of communication had always been one of Sara’s main weaknesses, and yet she found herself diving whole into this new facet of hers, aching for more.
“I… think I’d rather… switch roles.”
Ah. “I don’t really mind but…”
This was certainly new to Sara’s perspective. Always giving, never receiving. Relentlessly easing people’s lives by offering to take care of everything herself. If you want things done, do them yourself. this has always been one of Sara’s most important mottos, for she’s had to save herself alone on countless occasions. Perhaps this was one of the reasons why relationships had always been a complicated deal. Retaliation came naturally to her instincts, but the act of reciprocation was not only unfamiliar but dangerous too. She was always keen on whoever got remotely close to her, the cheer of her nation being the only acceptable form of it.
Anything (and anyone) else was a potential threat, and for some time, that included Kokomi as well.
“Sara, if it makes you uncomfortable, we can continue as we were doing.”
To allow Kokomi in her privacy, in one of her most vulnerable positions, was to accept her power over her being. Was she even ready for that? To deal with such crucial consequences? She did not know. And as she lay down, her body now under Kokomi’s, she kept pondering the same question over and over, even as Kokomi reached places not even herself thought would ever become explored in such an enticing yet menacing manner. She had never felt as diffident as in that instant, her brain simultaneously entranced by the wave of sensations created by those foreign hands.
Sometimes Kokomi would slip, in a literal sense. The fineness of the sheets below made it almost impossible to grab onto, which caused a good amount of giggles. Sometimes she would attempt to serenade Sara with sensual commentary, though both ended up discovering that praise was the way to go. And quite early, to Sara’s dismay. Though the tengu’s feelings sported such a wild range of emotions, she came to love-hate Kokomi’s ability to read right through her gaze, like an open book. She had been able to break down so many layers of rust that realization hit too late, and now she had to deal with the aftermath.
Kokomi’s reverie, though filled with the many ways she could please her partner, was also haunted by distress. If this was to be their future, would their statuses even allow it to its full potential? She couldn’t help but drown in a sea of anxiety whenever she thought about the innumerable and unexpected ways her citizens would react. So many decades of war and hell, only for her to clown around and befriend the enemy. She had never wished for such hostility towards enmity, for diplomatics were her preferred weapon when it came to it. But it rarely was an option, if at all. It was a difficult road for her to accept reality, and yet here she was, questioning it once again.
But none of that mattered, not when they firmly held each other in a wave of gratification. Perhaps they were yet to know the consequences of their actions, how to take care of each other, how to deal with the step they’ve taken in their connection. And maybe they’d face troubles beyond their current imagination, unknown dangers yet to be discovered. But they would not incur in such perturbation, for dazzlement was a one-way gate to the future they would build up.
Hazy shrieks filled the room with indistinct fulfillment, suspiring against one another as they latched onto their trembling bodies. As much as they wished to stay like that forever, Kokomi was the first to move, readjusting their positions so she could clean both of them with hydro. Sara sighed as the warmth abandoned her, though her concerns quickly shifted to another.
“Do you have any spare clothing?” She saw Kokomi chuckle as she stood up, covering herself with a pale pink gown.
“Well, yes. Now the issue is finding some that’ll fit your size…”
Kokomi reached her cabinets, large and decorated with a layer of gold. She then threw a pile of clothing onto the bed, rubbing her eye as she pointed towards the lump.
“Find yourself something, I’d need a few more nights more to figure it out for you.”
Her attempt at winking was greeted by a gentle giggle, Sara’s cheeks painting themselves with pink.
“As you say, dear. Rest up and I’ll take care of it.”
Kokomi smiled and welcomed herself inside the bed.
“Sleep well.”
Sara patted her head as she analyzed the pile in front of her, ruminating on what had just happened.
“I will.”
Hopefully.