Archive of Our Own

I know you're scared of heights, but I love free-falling.

            Neither girl remembers it, but their first meeting was rather uneventful. In the movies, it always plays out like this:

            Seulgi was sitting on a bench in the park, grinning happily at the strawberry ice cream in her hand despite the mess it was making all over the young girl’s body as it started to melt under the high sun. Her brother had left to talk to his friends near the skateboarding rink, making Seulgi promise to not tell their parents, and Seulgi had agreed immediately when he showed her the double-scoop of ice cream in the waffle cone. She watched the people walk along the wide paths—a family of four here, a cyclist with an orange helmet there—as she licked the cold treat with gusto. All around the park, constant movement paired with the lazy perching of the sun in the sky, even the clouds crawling in miniscule increments against a pastel blue backdrop.

            The five year-old finished off the first scoop, getting up from the wooden bench to head towards the swings. She knew that her brother would easily be able to find her there, so she carefully measured the distance to the ground and hopped off with the confidence found only in naïve young children. Appropriately attributed too, because the minute her feet touched the compact dirt ground, a figure came barrelling into her, pushing the girl onto the ground and causing her to lose her grip on the ice cream cone. Seulgi stared at the brown soil in front of her in shock, not registering the ache in her small palms nor the bits of rock embedded in her chubby knees. There was a moment of silence as the child shifted her eyes about, and when they landed on her overturned dessert, her lips started to quiver and tears filled her eyes.

            “Oh shi—I mean, shoot! Kid, are you alright?”

            Seulgi didn’t answer, eyes still stuck on her unfortunate ice cream cone. The pink liquid almost seemed to melt more quickly, oozing into the ground and creating dark patches in the dirt. This marrying of her treat with nature’s crust greatly upset the small girl, and the tears started to rapidly drip from her eyes, her mouth opening with the intent to wail. The voice of the teenage boy who had called out to Seulgi earlier started muttering incoherent sentences when all of the orifices on Seulgi’s face started leaking, and she vaguely heard the sound of rapid footsteps and panicked curses decrescendo as the boy ran away.

            She didn’t know how long she had been there, crying not over spilt milk but its frozen, sugary equivalent, when a slight shadow covered her small body from the unforgiving rays of the blazing star in the sky. Thinking that it was her older brother, Seulgi looked up, ready to tattle on the person who had shoved her to the ground and escaped the crime scene of her ice cream’s murder. He was a big kid for his age, so she trusted him to punish anyone who made her remotely upset.

            However, she was surprised to meet eyes with a girl about her age, only a little taller than Seulgi, staring at the blubbering child with concerned eyes (well, as concerned as a little kid could be). She held out a hand to Seulgi with a small smile, and Seulgi stopped crying at the sight of the nice-looking girl reaching out to her. The other child pulled up the girl on the ground and dusted off Seulgi’s knees for her, checking the tear in Seulgi’s stockings for any spots of red with wide, observant eyes. There were none. Seulgi watched as the girl turned her attention to what remained of the ice cream (just a soggy cone in a sinking puddle of pink) and then back to the smaller child in front of her. Seulgi pouted, wanting to cry again, but the girl in front of her patted her head.

            “There, there.” Her high-pitched, child’s voice tried to imitate her perception of a mature adult’s, and her hands were as small and chubby as Seulgi’s, fingers spread wide like that of a baby petting a dog. Seulgi relaxed a little under the light pats and peered up at her saviour. “Don’t cry. Is that your ice cream?”

            Seulgi nodded. “My oppa got it for me, but now it’s gone.” Her lips quivered again.

            “Hmmm…” the other girl hummed. She stuck out her lips in thought before smiling widely and clapping her hands in excitement. “I can buy you a new one!” She looked at Seulgi for her reaction. “Do you like that?”

            Seulgi smiled, eyes folding into crescent moons. “Really?” She clapped too.

            The other girl nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah!” She shoved her hand into her pocket and clumsily pulled out two crumpled bills and a few coins. “My mommy gave me this for ice cream, so you can have it!” She grabbed Seulgi’s hand and pulled her toward the ice cream vendor’s cart. “What’s your name? I’m Joohyun.”

            “I’m Seulgi.”

            “How old are you?”

            “Five.”

            “Oh, I’m six!” Joohyun stopped to turn and look at Seulgi. “I’m your unnie, then!”

            Seulgi nodded, suddenly feeling shy. Her lips pressed and unpressed in a closed position, wanting to try calling the older girl unnie. It felt weird, because she only had an older brother.

            “Un...unnie...Joohyun unnie?”

            Joohyun nodded encouragingly and turned back forward to resume their journey to get Seulgi’s ice cream. “That’s me!”

           When they got to the cart, the bearded man gave them a grin and asked what he could get the two girls. Joohyun told him that she was just buying Seulgi a new cone because the younger girl had dropped her first one, and the man crooned that she was such a good unnie as he scooped a big serving of strawberry ice cream onto the cone. Joohyun carefully placed the money in his hands and thanked him as the girls headed back to the bench, Seulgi’s right hand holding her new cone and her left hand in Joohyun’s right one. Joohyun helped Seulgi get back on the bench, and soon after, Seulgi’s brother came over to her, lightly jogging when he saw his sister.

            “Hey, Seul. Who’s this? A new friend?”

            Seulgi nodded. “Oppa, this is Joohyun unnie. She got me a new ice cream.”

            Her brother frowned. “I thought I bought you enough. Two scoops.”

            Seulgi merely pointed to the spot beside him, where a crushed cone was scattered on top of a dark splotch in the ground.

            “Oh, you dropped your cone again?” He laughed and ruffled his sister’s hair before turning to the patient kid watching the siblings interact. “Thanks, Joohyun.” He turned back to Seulgi. “Did you say thank you, Seul?”

            “Thank you, unnie.”

            “Good job.” Her brother checked the time on his digital watch. “Well, Joohyun, it was great meeting you. Seulgi and I have to go home now, because we have a curfew, but we’ll see you around, alright?” Joohyun nodded and watched the older boy help Seulgi down from the bench, taking care that she wouldn’t drop her cone a second time. Seulgi waved at her and smiled as she left, hand-in-hand with her older brother, leaving Joohyun to wave back in her place. The girl walked over to where her parents sat on the grass, chatting amiably to a few adults, trusting their smart daughter to not wander too far.

            “Hey, sweetie. Did you have fun? Ready to go home?”

            Joohyun nodded. “I met a friend today! Her name is Seulgi.”

            Her father smiled widely and patted his lap. Joohyun sat in his embrace and let him rock her gently back and forth. “That’s great to hear. Does she live in this area?”

            Joohyun thought hard and shrugged. They hadn’t talked much, but she liked the girl.

            “Hmmm, that’s too bad.” Her father continued to sway. “Well, let’s hope she does, so you and her can play sometime.”

            Joohyun nodded, liking that idea. She closed her eyes tightly and prayed that Seulgi lived in her neighbourhood, because she really liked the idea of meeting the girl with chubby cheeks and the crescent eye smile again.

            Or this:

            Seulgi watched excitedly as the movers busily ambled about, pulling large cardboard boxes from the equally (from a child’s perspective) large rental truck. She jumped up and down and called out to her mother, telling the smiling woman that ‘the truck is so big!,’ ‘they’re really gonna be our neighbours?’. Her mother scooped up the hyperactive girl and bounced her lightly, reminding Seulgi that she should calm down and that they would meet the new family later. Seulgi continued babbling about boxes and trucks and movers as her mother walked away from the window towards the kitchen to give Seulgi her afternoon snack.

            The small child was happily munching on animal crackers and spewing out crumbs as she talked, when Seulgi’s father announced his arrival back home from work and his wife went out to greet him. The little girl’s eyes widened as she saw her father.

            “Daddy!”

            Seulgi’s father placed his stuff down and washed his hands before lifting his daughter and kissing her cheek. “Hello, princess. You seem very excited today.”

            Seulgi bounced up and down in his hold, making her father shift her upwards so she wouldn’t permanently damage his hip. “The new people are here!”

            Her father nodded and chuckled. “I know, honey. I talked to them on my way in.”

            His wife stood next to him, taking Seulgi from his arms and setting her back down in the chair for her to finish her snack. “That’s good to hear. Are they almost finished moving then?”

            He nodded. “They seem like great people. They offered to make dinner for us sometime once they’re settled.” He looked at Seulgi. “They’ve got a daughter about our age. I think they said she was six.”

            “Well, seems like our little energizer bunny just got someone to burn off all her energy with!”

            They laughed, until a knock sounded at their door, light raps that made its way into the kitchen and presided over the booming laughter. Seulgi’s mother widened her eyes in surprise and brought Seulgi down from her chair, holding her small hand as they walked toward the door. “That must be them!”

            Indeed, the family of three greeted the Kangs as the door opened, faces smiling and eyes curious. The parents were good-looking people, both with strong features, jet black hair, and pale skin that passed onto their young daughter, who bowed to Mrs. Kang before waving at the small girl behind her.

            “Hi! We’re the Baes. Just wanted to drop by and meet your family, since we’ll be neighbours.” The man looked down at his daughter. “Joohyun, say hello!”

            “Hello!”

            Seulgi’s mother smiled at the little girl. “Oh yes, so nice to meet you! My husband just met you outside and told me that you were almost finished moving the boxes in. Would you like to step in for a drink before you start unpacking?”

            Mrs. Bae frantically waved her hands. “Oh no! We don’t want to bother you.” She glanced at her husband. “We’ve told your husband about this too, but hopefully we can host a dinner instead, once everything’s settled.” She looked down at her daughter this time, who was peering up at her curiously. “We’re trying to unpack quickly and get everything settled, but with this little one around, it might take a while.” She chuckled.

            Seulgi’s mother patted her daughter’s head from where Seulgi hid behind her legs. “If you are okay with it, we can look after her while you unpack for today.” She shifted slightly to reveal Seulgi, who followed her mother’s movement. “We’ve got a little one too who’s five years old, so I think they’ll get along well.” She squatted down to face Seulgi. “Seulgi, didn’t you say you wanted to meet the neighbours? You should say hi!”

            The young girl blinked twice nervously but upon glimpsing at the older girl smiling in front of her, purple t-shirt and white shorts rustling with the soft breeze, Seulgi felt her shyness melt away and she hurried forward to bow at the Baes.

            “Hello! My name is Kang Seulgi.”

            “Hi, Seulgi!” Mrs. Bae also squatted down to talk to her daughter. “Joohyun, Seulgi is your neighbour now. You’re her unnie. You guys can play together!”

            The two girls looked at each other, all smiles and giggles. They were looking forward to seeing each other often, younger and older already having taken a liking to the other.

            In the movies, that’s how it would play out. An accidental meeting with someone saving the day. Two families becoming neighbours, so compatible that their children just click immediately. Destiny. Fate. All that good stuff.

            But it was nothing like that at all. They were stupid little kids at an intro ballet class for children under twelve; Seulgi had whined to her parents for a week about wanting to wear the frilly tutus from the department store, and Joohyun was forcibly enrolled by her mother, who believed that children should experience a little bit of everything in life. Either way, neither girl wanted to dance, per se, and they especially didn’t want to dance in front of others, both being extremely shy. Of course, they had no say in the matter.

            They walked into class, whining to their respective mothers, and scowled as they were seated for roll call. All the parents watched from the back of the class for the first meeting as the instructor introduced herself and tried to hype up the children, some of whom most definitely did not want to be there (Exhibit A: a sulking Kang Seulgi staring at the polished wooden floor instead of paying attention to her teacher; Exhibit B: Bae Joohyun looking around the studio room wondering if the lights were brighter than the ones at the dentist). The words drifted in through one ear and out the other as the teacher droned on and on, before she finally clapped her hands to let the class know that they’d be introducing themselves as well. Two pairs of eyes frowned and shifted about nervously before they met each other, and in that moment, Kang Seulgi and Bae Joohyun, despite being five and six, respectively, came to a mutual understanding of the torture they were about to face. It wasn’t much really: just two girls not wanting to speak in front of others.

            Seulgi and Joohyun didn’t even become friends until much later on in the year, when their mothers, through that chatting all mothers do while waiting for their children to finish their extracurricular classes, found out that the Kangs and Baes lived four blocks away from each other, a three minute drive for which carpooling occurred frequently. However, unlike their eager mothers, the girls didn’t even speak to each other for five weeks. They just sat in the back, staring out the windows and simultaneously wondering if it would be a breach of anything if they ever switched the side of the car they sat in, Joohyun always on the left and Seulgi always on the right. And when they did speak, no one remembered who initiated the conversation, or why it even happened. They just talked once and started talking everyday after that, and somehow, they became friends.

            Perhaps that’s the important part. Neither girl remembers how they ended up in each other’s lives, but it just happened as if all friendships are meant to start that way, in that spontaneous, unexpected manner.

-------

            “Wait, no, Joohyun. I need to tell you something.”

            “Well, I need to tell you something too!”

            “Me first. Please.”

            “No, I’m the one who called you here, remember?”

            “But it’s important!”

            “Yah, my thing’s important too!”

            The two middle schoolers glared at each other as Seulgi’s older brother walked by, shaking his head as the girls argued. The college sophomore muttered something about preferring to stay in the dorms over seeing teenagers catfight before slamming his room door shut.

            The girls were currently standing in Seulgi’s room by request of Joohyun, who had been acting nervous throughout dinner. The adults (both Kangs and Baes) had noticed but not said anything, already knowing what was about to go down. They had to admit that it was an ironic situation-one that would hopefully be looked back on as a fond, funny memory by their daughters-but they could only say that because they were in the loop, both with their kids and with each other.

            “Listen, I’m really serious, Seulgi. I’ve been meaning to tell you this for weeks now.”

            Seulgi looked curiously at her older friend, visibly deflating in defeat. She was always the one to give in despite being more stubborn than Joohyun, but it was only because Joohyun was older, and Seulgi had at least that bit of respect for the second-year middle schooler. They had this weird dynamic where they shared everything with each other: secrets, clothes, and once even a toothbrush (this was completely unintentional and Joohyun still held it as leverage over Seulgi) and were equals when having conversations or hanging out, but when it came to stuff like this, Seulgi always gave in and Joohyun always knew that Seulgi would give in. That was the way of their world.

            “Fine. Go ahead.” Seulgi pouted, slouching, but straightened up a few seconds later. “Wait, can I ask you something though?”

            Joohyun raised an eyebrow, not pleased but deciding to be the gracious older friend. “Sure, why not.”

            “Why were you avoiding me the entire week?”

            Joohyun gulped. “What?”

            Seulgi frowned, trying to recall the events of the past seven days. “I wanted to walk home with you, but you said you had projects to do. I went to the library to study while I waited, but you weren’t there. You didn’t join me for lunch either.” She narrowed her eyes at the older girl. “What’s up?”

            Joohyun sighed, seeing that she had to say it now. “Okay, I’ll tell you, but don’t freak out or anything alright?”

            Seulgi panicked, of course. “Wait, is this what I think it is? I swear, you’ve been nervous around me for the past month, and even at dinner, you kept sneaking glances at me—I saw you, don’t deny it—and gosh, wait, if I’m right, I need to tell you—”

            “Please don’t interrupt me, Seulgi, I swear to God, you promised—”

            “I don’t want you to freak out, either, but I really can’t—”

            “I can go first—”

            “wait any longer—”

            “gonna say—”

            “to tell you—”

            “I’m gay!”

            Both girls looked at each other, wide eyes mirroring the other’s surprise with the same intensity. The picture they painted—mouth gaping, arms slack, and eyes unblinking as the rest of the world went on with their lives (literally, someone outside of Seulgi’s window started drunk singing as their parents giggled quietly, having caught on that the abrupt silence after all that shouting finally meant the girls let it out)—was undeniably comical and would have been so for the girls as well, if they weren’t busy trying to process the synchronized phrase that left both of their mouths in their chaotic attempts at dominating the conversation. Seulgi was the first one to break out of her trance, slapping her face lightly and poking Joohyun’s motionless face in the cheek before exhaling loudly and plopping down on her bed. The squeak of the bed frame snapped Joohyun out of her reverie as well, and she hesitantly stepped towards the bed before muttering a quiet ‘fuck it’ and launching herself next to Seulgi.

            They were silent for a while, staring at the glow-in-the-dark star stickers on the ceiling of Seulgi’s room before Joohyun nudged her friend.

            “I can’t believe you ruined my coming out speech.”

            Seulgi snorted. “Well, at least you're not alone in that aspect.”

            Joohyun sat up slightly, leaning on her elbow, and turned to face Seulgi. “Wait, how long have you been planning to tell me? When did you find out?”

            Seulgi turned her head to look at the older girl. “When did you find out?”

            “I asked you first.”

            “Fine.” Seulgi looked at the ceiling again. “I found out about...five weeks ago? Like, I was talking to Sunmi unnie, and I realized that I kinda wanted to kiss her.”

            Joohyun nodded. “I see.”

            “How about you?”

            “Me?” She rolled her eyes about, calculating. “I think about the same. Just was thinking about things, asked Google some stuff, realized that I like girls and have absolutely no interest in boys. And it’s definitely not a phase either, because I haven’t ever, like ever, felt any sort of attraction to a guy.”

            “Is that why you were avoiding me?” Seulgi furrowed her eyebrows and shot up, hair flicking Joohyun’s face in the process. “Do you like me?!”

            Joohyun shrieked, which made Seulgi turn back to see the girl looking at her horrified. “No!”

            Seulgi breathed out, clutching onto her heart. “Oh thank baby Jesus, I was afraid you’d say yes.” She glanced at the older girl, clarifying her words further: “I mean, like, not that you’re hideous or anything, but we’re best friends, and I don’t want to ruin any between us just because we’re both gay and there’s not a lot of options in our small neighbourhood, especially with the super conservative grandpas everywhere chucking stuff at anyone who so much as hugs too long in front of their porches.”

            Joohyun nodded, understanding. “Yeah no, I totally get that.” She smiled at Seulgi. “I don’t like the idea of losing my best friend either.”

            “Glad to know we’re on the same page.” Seulgi turned her body completely and sat cross-legged in front of Joohyun on the bed. She stuck out her pinky finger and motioned for Joohyun to reciprocate.

            “What’s this?”

            “Hmmm, it’s called a pinky promise. Generally, two people—”

            “No, no, I know what it literally is.” Joohyun gestured at Seulgi’s hand. “I’m asking why you’re suddenly doing it.”

            “Oh,” Seulgi said, raising her eyebrows. “Well, I’m going to make you a promise.” She dragged Joohyun’s pinky to hers and wrapped them around each other. “Come on.”

            “Am I really making a promise without knowing the details of the promise?”

            “Oh, don’t be pessimistic,” Seulgi said. “I won’t kill you or anything.”

            Joohyun snorted. “Yeah, let’s just ignore the time you ran over my toe with your bike.”

            “Hey, that was an accident!” Seulgi motioned towards Joohyun’s body. “And you’re alive, aren’t you?”

            “Uh-huh.”

            Seulgi shook her head, clearing her thoughts. “Anyway! I’m doing this so we’re on the same page.”

            “Fine. Go ahead.”

            Seulgi clasped their hands together and closed her eyes. “Bae Joohyun, I promise you that we will remain best friends, the bestest of the bestest of friends, for life. It doesn’t matter that we’re different or that we’re the most asocial beings in Korea, because that’s why we vibe well.” She opened her eyes and looked at Joohyun, making sure the older girl was following her words. “I will be there for you if you need me, and I trust you to do the same. Because we’re best friends.”

            Joohyun smiled, shoving Seulgi lightly. “You’re so cheesy, Kang. It’s like I’m getting an early proposal.” She narrowed her eyes playfully. “You’re not practicing on me, right?”

            Seulgi smiled, eyes folding into crescents. “I don’t know, Bae. Maybe it is a proposal. A best friends for life proposal.”

            Joohyun nodded, pleased with the answer. “Fine, I’ll allow that.”

            “You know you feel the same.”

            Joohyun laughed, grasping Seulgi’s hand on top of their interlocked pinkies. “Best friends for life it is.”

-------

            “You know, I always feel a bit weird knowing that Nabokov wrote Lolita when I read this.”

            “What is it?” Joohyun leaned over to see what Seulgi was reading. “Is it a poem?”

            “No,” Seulgi said, rolling over on her bed and patting the space beside her for Joohyun to join her. “It’s a letter to his wife.”

            Joohyun left Seulgi’s desk, where half of the clutter came from her papers, books, and stationery, and lay down next to her friend. She read the words on the small screen of Seulgi’s phone.

            “That’s actually pretty romantic.”

            Seulgi sighed, turning off her screen and setting her phone aside. “Like, who knew men could actually be romantic? I always thought it was just a k-drama trope.”

            “Or maybe it’s because he’s a writer?”

            “Mmm,” Seulgi hummed in agreement. “That’s plausible.”

            “Ooooh, fancy word, you’re using right there. Plausible.” Joohyun lightly jested, nudging Seulgi’s shoulder with her own. “Is that from the new workbook they use for year three vocab?”

            “Oh, shut up,” Seulgi mumbled, glaring at Joohyun. “I just showed you something cute.”

            “You also told me that that same dude wrote Lolita,” Joohyun pointed out.

            “Ugh, whatever.”

            “Uh-huh.”

            Seulgi stretched her arms out in front of her. “Imagine though. Like, you could meet someone who’s just so good with words that they sweep you off your feet.”

            “Aren’t you just little Miss Romantic? What if they’re a serial murderer?”

            “Well, I don’t think many writers are.” Seulgi frowned. “I hope.” She relaxed again. “I don’t care, man. Imma date a writer, lol.”

            “Whatever floats your boat.”

            “Whatever eases your Jesus,” Seulgi tagged on, feeling inspired to craft her words wittily, a trait she saw as absolutely essential to entertain her to-be significant other (it was at this point in her life, her ideal girl switched from being a sexy CEO to not-as-sexy but smart writer). She stared at Joohyun with a smirk on her face, challenging her to continue.

            Joohyun let out a small smile and shook her head. “Whatever cleans your jeans.”

            “Whatever sells your hell.”

            “Okay, I lose.”

            “I knew it.” Seulgi smirked triumphantly. “I’ll be able to beat my future writer girlfriend now.”

            Joohyun just laughed at her. She knew it wouldn’t be long before Seulgi’s ideal type changed once again.

-------

            Joohyun peered outside the window, letting her biology teacher’s lecture pass over her head as she stopped taking notes and watched the rain fall. The skies were a plane of grey, only small hints of the sun that they were hiding manifesting in blotches, as if someone splashed a paintbrush dipped in diluted white paint across the dark canvas. She sighed. Rainy days were not her favourite type of day, because she hated the feeling of the damp jeans against her leg as she struggled to keep her umbrella upright to cover both herself and her backpack. It was getting much too cold to wear shorts, so Joohyun knew that there was no getting out of that wet dog scent with her outfit today. Maybe she should’ve just worn a uniform, casual Fridays be damned.

            There was still one period left until school ended when the bell rang to signal the end of sixth period. As the students got up to talk to each other while the history teacher was on his way to their classroom, Joohyun laid her head on the table, face still turned to the vast, sandy area at the front of their school. She hoped the rain would stop, because Joohyun knew that she forgot to bring her umbrella again. As she always did whenever the sky decided to release its wet wrath on the unsuspecting (okay, well maybe not, since weather reports and all—Joohyun was just stupid) humans on earth.

            Seventh period dragged on slowly, and much to Joohyun’s dismay, the rain didn’t stop. It actually became heavier, slicing through the cold atmosphere like knives. Joohyun sighed and placed her chin on her forearm, which was on the desk, while writing something down about some historical event that she knew she’d never think about twice once she graduated. She gave up and just doodled in the corner of her notes, jotting down some words in an unstructured poem after drawing several tornadoes.

            When the class was dismissed, Joohyun thanked the heavens that first years didn’t have to stay back to self-study and rushed down the stairs to tell her club members that she was not going to be able to attend the meeting for today. Thankfully, she bumped into someone in her geography club and asked that she relay the message instead.

            “Joohyun!”

            Joohyun glanced through the crowd in the hall to find a familiar face waving at her from outside of the building doors. The third-year middle school student smiled, shifting her umbrella upwards to show Joohyun. The first-year high school student smiled and pushed through the rowdy teenagers, making sure not to let her books fall out of her hands.

            “Hey, Kang Seul. Fancy seeing you here. Wasn’t expecting it.”

            Seulgi mocked surprise. “Do you not want me to be here?” She started walking away, very slowly. “I can leave then.”

            “No!” Joohyun launched herself at the younger girl, squealing when she came in contact with the rain. Seulgi automatically shifted the umbrella to cover both of them, taking care to make sure Joohyun’s books weren’t getting wet. “I was joking, you idiot.”

            Seulgi stuck her tongue out. “I was joking too, idiot.” She wrapped an arm around Joohyun’s shoulder to bring her closer into the cover, so natural that none of the students nearby were surprised at the smooth move. “I knew you’d forget your umbrella. Yet again.”

            Joohyun huffed. “I never have time to check the weather forecast in the morning, okay?”

            “Mmhmm.”

            “Yah!” Joohyun looked up to glare at the monolidded girl, who was now taller than her. Seulgi continued to stare straight ahead, eyes amused, as she maneuvered the two of them around the departing students and away from huge puddles (she was doing it because she wore nice sneakers that day, not because Joohyun hated getting her socks wet).

            “Well, at least you know that I’ll always be your knight in shining armour, although I personally feel like a chauffeur with an umbrella instead of a limousine at this point.”

            Joohyun punched Seulgi’s arm but smiled to herself. Then, “What were you going to do if I went to my club today? It would have taken at least twenty minutes.”

            Seulgi shrugged, the arm around Joohyun’s shoulder shifting up then down on Joohyun’s upper back with the motion. “It’s not like it’s the first time I’ve waited for you to finish up so we can walk home together.”

            “But it’s so cold! You’ve always waited outside here?” Joohyun frowned. “Doesn’t your school finish an hour earlier than mine?”

            “Yeah, but I have an umbrella. I’d rather wait a while in the cold than have to deal with your whiny, sick ass for a week in the case that you get sick from the rain because I didn’t walk home with you.”

            “Hmmpfh.”

            They were silent for a while, walking past the small family homes as the rain dropped on their umbrella in varied staccato beats. Seulgi hummed lightly, sending vibrations along Joohyun’s left shoulder, and took a quick glance at Joohyun to make sure her backpack wasn’t getting wet. Seulgi’s house came into view after a few minutes, and Joohyun started squirming as she adjusted the flaps of her coat over her books.

            “Okay, we’re almost at your house, so Imma make a run for mine once we get there. Thanks, Seul.”

            Seulgi tightened her hold on Joohyun’s shoulders. “Nonsense, I’ll drop you off at yours first.”

            “Yeah, but my house is further down the block,” Joohyun reasoned.

            “I’m the one with the umbrella. My ride, my rules.”

            Joohyun scrunched her nose. “Some ride this is. If my cab driver walked me to my destination, I wouldn’t pay him.”

            “Yeah, well. You aren’t paying me either, so I guess it works out.”

            “Seulgi,” Joohyun whined, dragging out her name. She didn’t want to bother her best friend. “I promise I’ll be fine.”

            The younger girl shook her head. “Nope. Can’t change my mind.”

            “I’m older than you,” Joohyun warned.

            “And I’m bigger and stronger than you,” Seulgi countered.

            Joohyun stopped abruptly, realizing that they were now directly in front of Seulgi’s house. “Yeah, but you wouldn’t ever win me in a brawl.”

            “Wanna test that out?” Seulgi shot back.

            They stared at each other, neither girl wanting to give in, until Joohyun sighed. “Fine, let’s compromise. I can stop by your house to say hi to everyone and you can let me borrow one of your umbrellas to go back home.”

            Seulgi thought about the proposal. She knew that if she let the older girl borrow an umbrella, it would stay at Joohyun’s house until her parents visited Seulgi’s and brought them all along. At one point, she had collected thirteen of the umbrellas from the Kang household (luckily, Seulgi’s father was a reporter and received many gifts, umbrellas included), and Joohyun’s parents had looked sheepish as they unloaded the assortment of the rainy day essential in the foyer. Joohyun should've looked more sorry, Seulgi personally thought.

            “Okay, fine. But stop making your poor parents carry them all back to our house, you ungrateful stick of butter.”

            “Alright, I’ll make Yerim do it instead.”

            Seulgi let go of Joohyun’s shoulder and flicked the smaller girl’s forehead, still holding the umbrella carefully to prevent her best friend from getting wet. “You owe me like, a million bags of chips by now. I’m still waiting for my payment for lending you umbrellas.”

            “Awww, and here I was thinking it was pro bono, since you’re just such a kind-hearted soul.”

            “Flattery doesn’t work on me, Joohyun.”

            “Okay, but even if I said you were really pretty?”

            “That only works when it’s not you saying it.”

            “Aw, shucks.”

            The younger girl unlocked and pulled open the door, letting her friend in before closing and shaking the umbrella to make it drip less and shuffling into her house. Mrs. Kang poked her head out, greeting the girls when she saw that her child’s best friend dropped by.

            “Hi, mom. Seulgi keeps bullying me.”

            Seulgi snorted. “First she takes our umbrellas. Then she takes my place as the daughter of this household.”

            “Honey, if you had half the grades Joohyun did, I wouldn’t have accepted this arrangement either.”

            “Yeah, Seulgi. I’ve usurped you and taken my rightful place as Princess Kang.”

            Seulgi huffed. “This isn’t fair. It’s two-to-one.” She dropped off her stuff and walked to the kitchen to wash her hands. “Princess Kang Joohyun, did you want anything to drink before you head back, you two-timer?”

            Joohyun laughed. “You’re just jealous both our parents love me more than you.” She then added, “Do you still have that Calpico I left last time?”

            Seulgi grabbed it from the fridge and passed it to her friend, who thanked her, before plopping down next to her on the sofa. Her mother had already headed back to her workspace (she was a freelance editor) to allow the girls to talk. “I beg to disagree. I’m sure your parents love me more than you.”

            “Let’s be honest, if you weren’t so artistically inclined, they wouldn’t even glance in your direction.”

            Joohyun’s father was a semi-famous music producer, while her mother was an art history professor at a local university. Seulgi was both musically and artistically talented, so the older Baes always swooned over her when they conversed during dinners at the Bae household. They’d always wanted Joohyun to try more things, especially in the creative realm, in order to engage their daughter in a liberal education and widen her perspectives, but Joohyun preferred reading and following a set routine over relying on spontaneous bouts of inspiration. They did constantly ask if she wanted to write though, since she loved reading so much. She always said no.

            “Well, I’ve gotta compensate somehow for the lack of academic prowess.” Seulgi got up and nodded her hand at Joohyun’s now empty bottle. “You done with that?”

            Joohyun handed her the bottle, which Seulgi threw out. “I guess I’ll be heading back now.” She picked up her backpack, stuffing her books inside and slinging it over her shoulders. “I’ve got so much work,” she groaned.

            Seulgi patted her head and walked with the older girl to the foyer, pulling out a lavender-coloured umbrella. “Here, your favourite.”

            “Thanks.” They briefly hugged, and Joohyun smiled. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Movie night.”

            Seulgi nodded. “Text me when you get back.”

            “Okay, bye.”

            Seulgi waved from her doorway as Joohyun sped away on her tiny legs, moving right and left to avoid the puddles. She shook her head at the sight; the girl really hated getting wet. Closing the door, Seulgi headed up to room and settled on her bed, pulling out her phone. She held it in her hands, counting down starting from twelve hundred. Seulgi knew that when she hit zero, Joohyun would finally arrive home and text her a short ‘Do you miss me yet? :P’ before hitting the books.

-------

            “Hey, Joohyun, is your family joining us for the beach trip this year too?”

            “We’ve joined every single time for the past decade. I don’t know why you still ask every time.”

            Seulgi winked. “I’d be bored without you, so just making sure.”

            From besides them, Joohyun’s younger cousin Yerim fake gagged. “Can you two just date already? Or even better, marry and move away to another country so I don’t have to bleach my eyes?”

            Joohyun glared at the middle schooler. “You better tone down that spiciness before I tell your mom.” She coughed. “And I told you, we’re just best friends. ”

            “Uh-huh. And I hate Girls’ Generation.”

            Seulgi furrowed her eyebrows. “But you don’t—” She glanced at her best friend for help when the understanding hit her. “Oh…”

            Yerim snickered. “You two are always denying, but you know that everyone else, both of your parents included, ship you two, right?”

            “Dude, we’re both minors.”

            “So? It’s not like they’re expecting you to have babies at that age. We’re just sick of you guys blatantly flirting in our faces. Like, just date each other and get it out of your system.”

            “But,” Joohyun rebutted, “we swear it’s just us teasing each other. After all-” she glanced at Seulgi- “they do say that everyone’s a little bit gay for their best friend.”

            Yerim shook head exasperatedly. “Y’all are actually gay though.”

            “Okay...but if a straight guy and a straight girl be best friends without dating, why can’t two gay girls do the same?” Seulgi asked defiantly.

            The younger girl laughed. “What? Who told you that?” When neither of the older girls answered, she continued. “Well, I don’t know what made you actually believe that, but whoever told you that sh—stuff is crazy.” She glimpsed at Joohyun, hoping she wouldn’t tattle on her slip up to Yerim’s mother. “There’s no such thing like that; if your sexual preferences match up, you’re gonna have to face it some day or another.”

            “Yah, that’s just a stupid movie trope. You don’t actually believe that, do you?”

            “Oh unnies,” Yerim sighed. “You can deny it all you want. But it’s happened time and time again and will happen to you guys too.” She paused for dramatic effect as the older girls listened to her with wide eyes, actually thinking she was going to say something worthwhile (she laughed internally at their naivety).

            “All best friends fall in love.”

-------

            The best friends walked together, for the first time in a year, to school in the morning, Seulgi bouncing lightly on her feet in excitement as Joohyun groaned at the thought of having to go back to school. Their families had just come back from their annual beach trip two weeks earlier, and Joohyun was still recovering from the high of the retreat.

            “I told you, you don’t need to pick me up. If anything, I should be picking you up, since your house is closer to school.”

            “Nonsense. I’m so excited that I was up at five anyway. Might as well make use of the time.”

            Joohyun glanced at her friend. “I don’t understand you. Why are you so excited to be in high school anyway? It’s just three years of the worst level of hell.”

            Seulgi shrugged. They were passing back in front of Seulgi’s house and saw Joy, Seulgi’s neighbour. All three girls waved at each other before Seulgi called out to Joy.

            “Are you heading to school? Wanna walk with us?”

            Joy shook her head. Despite being the same age as Seulgi, she and Seulgi only talked once in a while, comfortable enough to say hi and know each other’s friend groups but not enough to hold a fifteen minute conversation on the way to school. Joohyun was secretly glad that Joy turned down the offer, because it would’ve been hella awkward (not necessarily because it was Joy and Joohyun didn’t know her that well, but because Joohyun was an introvert, more so than Seulgi was, since Seulgi at least knew Joy).

            “Wendy and Sungjae oppa are gonna pick me up and we’re heading over together.” The tall girl perched herself onto one of the randomly placed rocks in her garden, kicking her long legs back and forth as she waited. “Sungjae oppa is in Joohyun unnie’s grade too, so he said he’ll show us to our homeroom.”

            Joohyun did know Sungjae. He was very loud. No further comment.

            “Oh, alright then. I’ll see you around!”

            The girls all waved and Seulgi grabbed Joohyun’s elbow to lightly pull her along. Unlike Joy and Wendy, Seulgi was well-acquainted with the directions to their high school, having been, as she mentioned, an umbrella chauffeur. They talked about unimportant things: why did you throw out my toothbrush at your house?, it’s been there for five months now; can you stop stealing my hoodies?, just put up with it until I buy some new ones; have you seen any hot girls lately?, have you seen me? I barely interact with people, yeah, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have eyes. As they neared the building, Joohyun noticed Seulgi acting hyper again and stopped her, tired students streaming around them into the gates.

            “Wait, you haven’t answered my question. Why are you so excited?”

            Seulgi smiled widely at Joohyun before turning to the gates and running inside, past the student officer who told her to slow down. Joohyun shouted for her and followed, cursing the artistic child for being equally athletic (all Joohyun did was exercise her brain).

            “Seulgi, stop! You’re gonna regret running once you have to go to homeroom!”

            Seulgi hit the brakes, turning around so quickly that Joohyun didn’t see her and almost toppled over her. The taller girl held onto Joohyun’s shoulders as Joohyun’s face smacked into Seulgi’s collarbone.

            “Yow! A warning would have been nice!”

            Joohyun rubbed her nose. “You’re the one who stopped suddenly!”

            “You told me to stop!”

            A teacher walked past them, a handful of students chatting behind him as they all glanced at the bickering duo. The teacher tilted his head as he opened the door, momentarily stopping.

            “Are you two dating?”

            The best friends snapped their heads to the man in sync. “No!”

            He merely chuckled, waved his clipboard in the air, and walked in with the now-whispering students behind him.

            “Jesus, Seulgi,” Joohyun huffed. “Anyway, I was just going to warn you that all first years are on the third floor, so to save your energy, but this is how you repay me.”

            Seulgi waved her arms around in protest. “I didn’t know you were going to tell me that!”

            “So why were you running away?” Joohyun pointed a finger at her accusingly. “You still haven’t answered my question!”

            Seulgi stuck her tongue out at Joohyun and rushed inside the glass doors, checking to make sure that no students were nearby before slamming the door on Joohyun, who reeled back as to not torture her nose for the second time that day. Joohyun glared at her and banged on the door, but Seulgi barred it shut with her arm and typed something on her phone memo. Joohyun crossed her arms, already annoyed with having to go back to school but even more annoyed that Seulgi was making her expend more energy than necessary, and watched as the younger girl placed her phone screen to the glass. Joohyun leaned in to read what was on there.

            ‘I’m excited, because now I’ll be able to see you in between periods. :)’

            She then rushed off again, leaving Joohyun to sputter stupidly as some students told her to move out of the way.

-------

            Damn Seulgi and her charming words, because Joohyun caught herself actually looking out of her classroom window to the hallway whenever the bell rang. Joohyun never visited Seulgi in her homeroom—no one could convince her to climb up the stairs to the next floor—so Seulgi was always the one peeking through the glass when she was dismissed early in any instance. All of Joohyun and Seulgi’s classmates (the whole school, actually) knew that they were best friends, and they were very often teased with the iconic ‘are you two sure you’re not dating?’ even by the occasional teacher.

            Any other time they were teased, it was usually Joohyun chilling at her desk until someone came up and tried to “be her friend,” to which she never reciprocated the affection. They clucked their tongue at her introversion, telling her that society was harsh, and they genuinely wished for her assimilation into the real world. She had to admit they weren’t wrong, albeit a little savage. Joohyun really had to make more friends, especially seeing that Seulgi was talking to Joy a bit more than usual now (they’d upgraded status from awkward neighbours to comfortable classmates). And boy, did Joohyun hate losing; she vowed to make exactly one more friend than Seulgi did, which would put her at a grand total of two friends besides Seulgi.

            By some weird stroke of luck, Joohyun got a chance to prove herself to her classmates and Seulgi, who was completely clueless to what Joohyun was planning in the first place, when a new member joined the geography club Joohyun was a part of. Yongsun, who everyone called Solar, was in the same grade as Joohyun but in a different homeroom. Solar was crazy extroverted, which scared Joohyun (a lot) but pretty nice, which boosted her popularity with everyone in the school. Somehow, Solar ended up taking Joohyun under her wing, introducing the quiet girl to her equally popular friends and convincing them to let Joohyun hang out with them.

            “Oh! And we also need to give you an English name, because cool people all have one of those.”

            Joohyun’s face could only be described in one way: ???

            Solar noticed her expression. “Yeah, I know, I know, western imperialism blah blah but this is just us trying to stand out.” She jutted out her chest. “Like, we may seem like airheads and jocks, but we know English!”

            “...okay.”

            Solar went on, not minding Joohyun’s continued confusion. “So, I think that since you’re really quiet and calm, we could give you some sort of name related to that.” She pulled out her phone (which Joohyun noted had not been turned in) to browse for something and clapped her hands excitedly. “Oh my gosh, how about Irene? It says here on ‘120 best English names for baby girls and their meanings’ that Irene means the goddess of peace.” Solar grinned at ‘Irene.’ “Yeah, it really suits you.” She slung an arm across the introvert’s shoulders. “But don’t worry, I’ll get you out of your shell in no time.”

            And thus, Irene was born.

            When Joohyun told Seulgi, Seulgi just laughed at her. She was a bit offended, especially when Seulgi just shook her head for a good ten seconds.

            “I’m sorry, not really, but changing your name won’t make you popular. In fact, you’ll never be as cool as the cool kids, because you’re stuck with me, and you and I are both nerds. And I prefer that, to be honest.”

            Joohyun pushed back. “But, it’s a great chance to experience something different and meet new people! I hate talking to humans, but I still am curious about what it feels to be popular. I won’t ever get a chance again.”

            “Listen, Joohyun.” Seulgi leaned close to her face. “If you were meant to be popular, it would’ve happened already regardless of your conversational ability, because…” she opened her phone camera and shoved it into Joohyun’s face. “Have you seen your face?”

            “What?”

            Seulgi sighed, retracting her phone. “You’re gorgeous.” She cleared her throat. “Objectively, I mean. And human beings love pretty things, so in theory, if you were meant to be popular, people would have pored over you either way.”

            “I mean, they do keep bothering me during breaks…”

            “Ugh, whatever. You know what I mean.”

            “No, I don’t. What’s so wrong with wanting to have more friends?”

            “Well if you put it that way, it makes me look like an asshole.”

            “Aren’t you always, though.”

            “Jerk.”

            “Soon, I’ll be a cool jerk.”

            “Ha, and I’ll get into a top ten university.”

            They both laughed at each other as Joohyun placed her head on Seulgi’s toned stomach from where they were lounging in the grass at the park. Deep down in their minds, they were both sure but afraid of the outcomes, Seulgi knowing that Joohyun was too much of a nerd to care about popularity but fearing that she would become a completely different person, and Joohyun confident in Seulgi’s lack of academic abilities but afraid that Seulgi would suddenly become too busy for her if she did start studying.

            Ironically enough, Joohyun scored a date with the school’s girl crush three days later.

-------

            Somehow, that became the catalyst for Joohyun’s upsurge in popularity, which forced the girl to be more interactive with her schoolmates. Seulgi was right, her face must have really been objectively gorgeous, because many students, both guys and girls, peered into her classroom in between the time that class was dismissed and Joohyun walked outside to stretch her legs. With the giant crowds that formed in front of the second year’s homeroom, Seulgi found herself unable to meet her best friend during breaks, because the latter was too busy being a nice person and greeting all her fans. She thought that she had better get into a top ten university, because at this rate, Joohyun wouldn’t be her friend by the time Seulgi graduated, and the younger girl would rather study than pine after her friend’s time.

            Joohyun thought that she was balancing it really well, she truly did. Although she was a little sad to see that Seulgi didn’t seem to come visit her anymore on the second floor, Joohyun distracted herself from that fact by being more friendly with others. She hung out with Solar with one day of the weekend, often leaving the other weekend free in case Seulgi wanted to hang out. For some reason though, Seulgi seemed busy on their usual movie night Saturdays.

            It started to concern Joohyun when she realized that Seulgi was becoming more and more withdrawn. The two of them were introverts, that was a given, but Seulgi wasn’t doing anything at all. She’d normally visit places and do things when she was free, even if it wasn’t with others, but when Joohyun checked Seulgi’s social media, there were no new updates. They still walked home together, although Joohyun rode with Solar’s mom and friends in the mornings, so Joohyun wondered if she had missed something.

            “Seulgi, is there something you want to tell me?”

            The first year stopped walking to look at Joohyun. Her expression was unreadable. “No? Why do you ask?”

            Joohyun bit her lip. “No, it’s just...you seem a bit down these days. Everything okay?”

            Seulgi looked down at the ground and just stared at it for a while, thinking. She pondered whether to tell Joohyun the truth or to wait until she figured it out herself, but Seulgi was too caught up in her own feelings to wait for Joohyun to come around so she honestly told Joohyun what was on her mind.

            “I’m not feeling that great, actually. For a while now.”

            Joohyun gasped and lifted her hand to feel Seulgi’s forehead. When she saw that it wasn’t hot, she turned and lifted Seulgi’s limbs, checking for external injuries. “Oh my god, Seul, are you sick? You should’ve gone to the doctor or told someone! What if you have some sort of rare illness? How long has this been going on for?”

            Seulgi shook her head, gently taking Joohyun’s hands and placing them back by the older girl’s side. “I’m not physically sick. I’m just a bit sad.”

            Joohyun’s eyes softened from their previous panicked state of concern. “Hey, what’s wrong?” she asked in a whisper, stepping closer to the younger girl to wrap her in a hug. Seulgi didn’t push her away as she did the same.

            “I feel like you’re gone, Joohyun. I feel like you’ve left me.”

            Joohyun pulled back slightly to look at her best friend’s face, only to see the latter looking down so that her hair covered her features. She pushed Seulgi’s hair back and lifted her face to meet her eyes.

            “What do you mean? Is it because of me being Irene?”

            Seulgi nodded. “I know we still walk home together and you leave Saturdays open for me, but there’s one part of me that just hates how our little moments are gone. Me sneaking you a few granola bars in the morning, you meeting my eyes and trying not to laugh when I made funny faces at you before your class was dismissed, us sitting down and talking about the mundane stuff.” She drew Joohyun back into her embrace. “I feel like a bitch for saying this, because honestly, this is for your good, but I feel jealous that all these people who barely know you are taking my best friend away from me and taking all the time we would normally spend together away. And it sounds stupid, because it’s so ridiculously unhealthy to be this attached to someone, and I don’t want to manipulate you or anything, but I honestly only have you. You’re the only one I trust to tell all my secrets to and fawn over hot women with. I’ve tried making other friends, but it always seems so superficial, and I keep thinking, ‘you know, if it was Joohyun, she’d say this’ or ‘Joohyun is so much more attentive in this way’ and stuff like that.” She dug her face into Joohyun’s shoulder. “I’m so sorry I’m like this.”

            Joohyun nodded as she took her friend’s honest rambling in, patting her back gently and hoping she wouldn’t cry. Luckily, Seulgi didn’t shed any tears, based on how Joohyun felt the still dry cotton of her shirt, so Joohyun stroked her hair and continued to hug her.

            “I wish you would’ve told me earlier, Seul. You know, I feel the same way.” She paused momentarily. “All those people are great to see and greet once in a while, but I will always place you first. I’ll always think of you first.” She felt Seulgi sniffle. “If it hurts you, I’ll stop being Irene, because I’d rather have one strong friendship like ours than a million frayed ones. I’m sorry I made you feel like this, Seulgi.”

            Seulgi shook her head, feeling slightly guilty but also glad that Joohyun felt the same way she did, deep down. Joohyun stood there for a while with Seulgi, now feeling the tears through the damp material of her shirt on her skin. No one questioned why two girls were hugging it out on the sidewalk (some did look at them with concern). They were content with each other in that moment, not caring about how others perceived their friendship reunion.

            But neither girl knew what to make of the fact that Irene stopped existing immediately as of that day, how quickly she dropped every facet of her newfound popularity, never to return again.

-------

            For the break before Joohyun’s last year of high school, she was the only one to join Seulgi for their annual beach getaway. Her parents had to go to a funeral for Joohyun’s maternal great aunt, which left her maternal cousin Yerim in her care and two guilty adults who didn’t want their daughter to not go on their yearly tradition. The end result was that Yerim decided to tag along with her cousin for the very first time to Daecheon, excitedly going on about the minerals in the mud at the beach. Joohyun was glad to look after her for a bit because they rarely saw each other, but she had been looking forward to spending time with Seulgi without their parents dragging them to different activities for the duration of their four day vacation. Maybe they could ditch Yerim at the hotel later during the nighttime.

            Seulgi was waiting outside of her house when Joohyun finally helped Yerim pack her stuff (‘no, you don’t need three sexy bikinis for a four day stay’) and convinced her parents that she would really be fine (‘it’s not the first time I’ve had to put up with this brat; I’ll just leave her stranded in the middle of nowhere if she acts up’). The monolidded girl greeted Mr. and Mrs. Bae, sending her condolences for Mrs. Bae’s aunt, and took Joohyun’s luggage bag from her as the girls made their way to Seulgi’s house. Yerim grumbled about how Seulgi only looked out for her wife as she wheeled her huge, overpacked suitcase with two hands.

            “I understand now why you guys aren’t dating yet. You’re already married.”

            “Shut up, Yerim. You better wish we aren’t married, because I’m ruthless to my siblings and cousins, in-laws or not.”

            “You cry when you step on ants. I doubt you could even lift a finger against me.”

            “Yah, Yerim. We’re still older than you. Some respect please, you little Satan.” Joohyun pinched her lightly. “Plus, no matter what you say, Seulgi has a strong sense of morality. I’ve seen her learning self-defense to beat up bullies, and she’s got abs too, so I wouldn’t dare question her.”

            “Oh, so you’ve already seen her topless. Nice.”

            “Yerim!”

            “Oh, hello Mr. and Mrs. Kang!”

            Seulgi snickered when Yerim avoided their wrath by waving at the two adults, who were packing their luggage into the trunk of their SUV. As custom for the past few years, Seulgi’s older brother chose not to go, claiming that he was too old to be hanging out (aka chaperoning) teenage girls when he could just be more productive at his workplace and attempt to get a promotion. The arrangement worked wonderfully for the two best friends, both preferring to wander freely without Seulgi’s brother nagging at them to stay away from x, y, and z.

            Joohyun sat sandwiched in between Seulgi and Yerim, cursing her genes for making her so small. For a while, she thought she would catch up to Seulgi’s growth spurt, but the great difference in average height between Seulgi’s parents and her own said otherwise. She turned to gaze out of Seulgi’s window on the right side, placing her chin on the younger’s shoulder to get a better view. Seulgi shifted slightly to lower her shoulder so Joohyun could look straight at the scenery, and Yerim muttered something under her breath again.

            “Are you girls all comfortable? It’ll take about three hours with the current traffic, but we’ll stop along the way to grab snacks at the rest stations.”

            “Sounds good, mom. Thanks.”

            Bae and Kim parroted Seulgi’s answer.

            They arrived at their hotel around noon, but no one was particularly hungry as a result of all the snacking they had done. Seulgi still carried around a stick of half-eaten sausage with rice cakes, while Yerim clutched onto her container of butter-coated baby potatoes from the fourth stop they’d made. Joohyun refrained from overeating, knowing that it would mean they had to make even more breaks to use the restroom, which in turn would lead to even more opportunities for different snacks, and she wanted to prevent herself from getting stuff in that positive feedback loop. She was unable to save the two younger girls, however. Six stops for a three hour ride given one food-fighter Kang Seulgi and one self-proclaimed bon vivant Kim Yerim was child’s play, especially considering the one time Joohyun and Seulgi stopped ten times during their trip to visit Joohyun’s relatives in Daegu, extending their drive by a good hour and a half. The older girl shuddered at the memory.

            “Alright girls, we got three rooms, since it would suck for two of you to share a bed but we don’t want Yerim to be alone. Joohyun, you don’t mind rooming with your cousin this year, right?”

            Oh, she did mind, but Joohyun smiled and nodded politely. Yerim snored. Very loudly. She also sleep-talked.

            The ungrateful child snickered. “I wouldn’t want to intrude.”

            Joohyun glared at her as Mr. and Mrs. Kang laughed boisterously, eyes crinkling in the same manner as their daughter’s. Seulgi just shook her head in exasperation as she pulled Yerim and Joohyun to their rooms to unpack.

            At around half past noon, Joohyun heard a knock at their door and glanced at her younger cousin, who was lounging on her bed, headphones on with volume cranked up to the max. The door opened to reveal her best friend, who looked around curiously, not being used to rooming on her own.

            “Why do I feel like you guys got the better room?”

            Joohyun motioned for her to come in, which Seulgi did. She walked over to the smaller girl and helped her organize the last of her skin care products on the hotel dresser as Yerim scrolled through her phone, not minding the two. After they finished unpacking Joohyun’s luggage, Seulgi tapped on Yerim’s shoulder, motioning for her to take off her headphones.

            “Jesus, those must be really loud.”

            “They’re noise-cancelling. I saved ten years worth of allowance for this.”

            “Nice to know.” Seulgi pointed her thumb towards the door. “Wanna join us? We always visit this nice tropical café near the beach when we come here.”

            Yerim waved her hand. “I’m not a huge fan of beaches. Just here to babysit Joohyun unnie this year.”

            Joohyun furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. “So someone who doesn’t like beaches, you really went on and on for a long time about the minerals in the mud here.”

            “Yeah, but I can just buy the local products they sell here.” She gave them a knowing look. “Plus, I don’t want to interrupt anything or be a third wheel.”

            “Stop victimizing yourself, you useless stalk of celery. We’ve been telling you for years now that we’re just friends.”

            “Uh-huh. And we’re actually horses.”

            “You don’t know that we aren’t.”

            “My point stands.”

            Joohyun sighed and pulled the taller girl away from the bickering she was doing with the middle schooler. “Seul, stop fighting with my cousin. She’s literally, like, twelve.”

            As they left the room, the best friends heard Yerim shout, “Hey, I’m fifteen!”

--------

            Seulgi looked up from the sketch she was doing when she heard the knock on her door. Having an inkling of who it might be, she closed her sketchpad and yanked open the door all the way, effectively scaring the smaller girl.

            “Seulgi!” Joohyun clutched at her chest, eyes wide. “You scared me.”

            “As was my intent.” Seulgi winked and stuck her tongue out, letting Joohyun in. The latter perched herself on the edge of Seulgi’s bed and watched as the former moved about, organizing her pencils.

            “Were you busy sketching? Did I interrupt you?”

            Seulgi shook her head as she put away the last of her supplies. “I was just bored. Nothing important.” She turned to look at her friend. “Is it that time already?”

            Through the closed window of her hotel room, Seulgi noticed that it was dark already. The lingering clouds faded into the black night sky as whispers of grey, barely distinguishable but drifting around the glow of the moon to make themselves known. She walked over to the window and peered down at the beach, where a few dark, faraway figures ambled about slowly. It was quiet, the hotel being too far to hear the symphonic breaking of the waves, but Seulgi enjoyed the peace as she gazed at the stars.

            Joohyun walked over to her friend and tapped on Seulgi’s arm, motioning for her to lift it so Joohyun could hug Seulgi’s waist as they watched the scenery together. Seulgi complied as Joohyun burrowed herself into Seulgi’s side, their slight but perfect height difference allowing them to stand comfortably in that position without getting into each other’s way. They stood there for a good ten minutes before Seulgi pulled away and linked arms with Joohyun.

            “Okay, let’s go now. It’ll get cold later, you know that.”

            Joohyun nodded. Ever since their parents allowed them to hang out without supervision (Seulgi’s older brother not included), the girls made it a tradition to walk along the shoreline every night. There were less people and more opportunities to fool around in a perfectly friendly way, so the two of them waited until everyone was asleep to head outside. One year, they had gotten so caught up with sketching cartoon animals without lifting the pencil that they had their stroll at three in the morning, which was a sore, cold mistake that they vowed to never repeat again. Thus, the hurry.

            Nobody paid them any attention as Joohyun and Seulgi took their walk, walking at first before holding each others hands and skipping, running, twirling about where the cold water teased their toes in short push-pull motions. Seulgi felt brave as she waded a bit further in, her ankles completely submerged as the ocean spewed out its contents onto the sand and dragged the monolidded girl with it as the water retreated. Seulgi squealed for Joohyun to watch her get sucked in, and the older girl joined her as they stood there, arms out and trying not to fall. They laughed loudly, two young girls just enjoying the beachy breeze and natural playground.

            Later when they returned to Seulgi’s room, feet wet in their flip-flops from having rinsed them off in the shower, the girls gave each other wide smiles. Joohyun was the first one to kick off her shoes and plop onto Seulgi’s bed, patting the space beside her for the younger to join. Seulgi let out a small whoop and dived onto the mattress, almost sending Joohyun flying off the bed, which led to the smaller girl slapping her arm.

            Seulgi rolled over onto her back and waited for Joohyun to settle against the headboard before placing her head on the older girl’s thighs, her own legs hanging off the edge of the bed. She kicked them back and forth, revelling in the comfort of their silence, before looking up at Joohyun’s face.

            “Are you excited for your last year of high school?”

            Joohyun nodded silently. “It’s going to be hectic with the CSAT and applying to colleges, but I’m glad that at least it will be the last year. She met Seulgi’s eyes. “You’ve still got another year to go after I’m done.”

            Seulgi pouted, eyes a little too sad in comparison to her playfully jutted lips. “Don’t remind me. I’m still eating my words from last year.”

            Joohyun laughed and stroked Seulgi’s hair away from her face. “I told you high school sucks. Even my presence can’t alleviate all the torture.”

            “No, but it did make it more bearable because I could rant to you every fifty minutes instead of keeping it in until the end of the day.” She closed her eyes. “I’m gonna miss you.”

            Joohyun didn’t reply for a while, heart tightening at her friend’s small voice. “I’m gonna miss you too. But I’ll visit whenever I can, and we’ll video call every day. Promise.”

            She watched as Seulgi opened her eyes and looked at Joohyun’s extended pinky finger, smiling when her eyes lit up in childlike innocence. Seulgi grasped Joohyun’s pinky with her own and lightly moved their hands back and forth.

            “You better keep that promise, Bae. I’ll be holding you to it for life.”

-------

            It was only one year, but both girls had difficulties adapting to life without the presence of the other. Part of it was attributed to their absolute lack of friends, but most of it had to do with the fact that ever since they could remember, it had always been Joohyun and Seulgi, Seulgi and Joohyun, the two of them together when they went to school, hung out at the mall, found a new hobby, or poked fun at Joohyun’s cousin. Their bond was supposed to be unbreakable, but somehow college had thrown a wrench into their plans of remaining in a conjoined state; both girls knew that the one year gap was inevitable, but they had always pushed it into the back of their minds as something of the future, something unreachable to their younger selves.

            But the future always arrives, and the best friends were no exception to the rule.

            “Okay, but I don’t actually believe you when you say that there’s no hot, gay girls at your school. You have, what, over three thousand students on your campus? And not a single person to date?”

            Joohyun pinched the bridge of her nose. “Bold of you to assume that I have the social abilities to even find out if someone swings my way in the first place.”

            “I mean, same, but aren’t we supposed to have gaydar? Or is that an American myth.”

            “What the hell are you googling these days, Seul.”

            “I’m not googling anything other than my homework answers.”

            “Child. Please. Do your own work.”

            “Mother. Please. Let me be a free soul.”

            Joohyun shook her head. “I know you’re planning to apply to that random college two towns away from mine since they aren’t ranked super high, but at this rate, you won’t get into college at all.”

            Seulgi grinned lazily. “Well then I’ll just become a stripper and make more money than you.”

            “Seulgi, no.”

            “Seulgi, hell yes.”

            “Ugh. You have to be a popular stripper to make a lot of money anyway.”

            Seulgi shrugged. “I’m a good dancer.”

            “You’re also about as seductive as a succulent.”

            “Hey, succulents are pretty sexy.”

            “I don’t even wanna ask how you came to that conclusion.”

            “Are you sure about that?”

            “Yes!” Joohyun screeched. She started to cover her ears. “Don’t you go putting weird images in my head.”

            “Oh, so you admit to—”

            “Lalalalalalala—”

            “Okay, okay!” Seulgi lifted her hands in surrender, and Joohyun took away her hands when she saw it reflected in her phone screen. “I won’t say anything you don’t like.”

            Joohyun narrowed her eyes. “No, you won’t be saying anything at all.” She glanced at the time, making a sorry face. “I unfortunately have to go to my evening class now, but I’ll call you again tomorrow. Bye, Seul.”

            Seulgi waved. “Don’t stay up too late studying.”

            “I won’t. Now go eat dinner.”

            They hung up and Joohyun leaned back in her chair, blowing air out of her mouth with puffed up cheeks. She didn’t tell her best friend that she’d actually been turning down all the people who asked her out.

-------

            Seulgi jumped in surprise when someone came up behind her and started talking. She slammed her small sketchpad shut and turned around to see Joy watching her curiously. The taller girl pointed her chin at Seulgi’s sketchpad.

            “Sorry. Did I interrupt something?”

            Seulgi shook her head. “No.” She peered at Joy, wondering why she was standing there so expectantly. “Umm...did you want to ask me something?”

            Joy pursed her lips before opening them, about to speak, but she shut her mouth at the last moment and shrugged. “I didn’t mean to peek, but I saw the drawing. It’s really nice.”

            “Thanks.”

            “Who is it? Is it your friend?”

            Seulgi raised an eyebrow at the girl’s unexpected observance. Joy looked at her with innocent wide eyes, waiting for an answer.

            “Uhh, yeah. Joohyun.”

            “Oh,” Joy hummed, glancing at someone in the classroom. Seulgi turned her head to follow her gaze and saw Wendy, Joy’s friend, talking to the class vice president. “I’ve been wanting to ask, if it isn’t a bother, but are you two a thing?”

            Seulgi choked on the air she was breathing, prompting her classmate to tap her back with a rather powerful hand. She gasped, finally able to catch her breath, and smiled at Joy in gratitude. “No, we’re just really close. Best friends for life.” She had no idea why she reacted so strongly to a question she and Joohyun always deflected with ease.

            “Hmmm.” Joy didn’t necessarily look unconvinced, but she had an expression that Seulgi interpreted as conflicted. Perhaps seeking answers for something she couldn’t ask the question to. “Do you believe that best friends can fall in love though?”

            Seulgi looked at her in surprise, caught off-guard by the deep question. Her mind immediately flashed to Yerim’s snickering a few years back, but she remained undeterred. “I mean, I think best friends are soulmates, but it doesn’t have to be in a romantic way.” She paused. “They can, but they don’t have to fall in love,” she added quietly.

            Joy nodded, her expression still a liminal one. “I see.”

            “Can I ask you a question too?”

            Joy’s face morphed into one of curiosity. “What is it?”

            “How come you go by Joy? Isn’t your name Sooyoung?”

            Joy leaned herself on the edge of someone’s desk. She tugged at her skirt a few times before pressing her lips tightly together. “Wendy—who’s from Canada by the way—uses her English name, so I wanted to copy her back when I was a kid. She, Sungjae oppa, and I are all best friends, so it just kinda happened.”

            Seulgi hummed. “But how come Sungjae oppa doesn’t use an English name?”

            “He’s a year older than us, so he’s always been the one who pretends to be too cool to copy what we do, so he just stuck with his Korean name. He’s the one who suggested my English name to me, though.”

            “Interesting. Thanks for telling me.”

            “No problem.” Joy nodded at Seulgi’s sketchpad again. “I’ll let you get back to that before the bell rings again.”

            As the taller girl headed back to her seat, Seulgi opened up her sketchpad and flipped through its contents. A sketch and a corresponding letter for every day. Exactly ninety-two sketches and letters drawn of and written to Joohyun since spring semester began. She promised herself that she’d send them to Joohyun every week to remind her to stay strong in college, but Seulgi never got around to it. She found no need for it—why send sappy letters when she called the older girl every single day anyway?

-------

            Two weeks later, Seulgi opened the window in her bedroom, grumbling about whoever was throwing rocks at it in the early hours of the morning. She scowled and slammed open her window, not caring whether or not it woke anyone else (if she had to suffer, she was burning the world down with her), and stuck her head outside to scream at the unwanted guest. The curse words were at the tip of her tongue, ready to barrel into the air like a cannonball and land with a heavy thud onto the rock-throwing idiot, but they stopped full force and clashed behind her teeth when Seulgi saw a suspiciously familiar petite figure in a university hoodie and jeans waving at her.

            “Seul! Let me in!”

            Seulgi almost fell out her window in surprise. She hung over the frame for a good three minutes before realizing that her friend was headed towards her front door and catapulted herself out of her room down the stairs to the foyer. Joohyun smiled sheepishly when Seulgi opened the door and gaped at her in disbelief, waving slightly again and asking if it was okay to come in. Seulgi just nodded dumbly as she moved aside. Somehow, no one else woke up.

            “What are you doing here? I thought you said your finals finished tomorrow!”

            Joohyun shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly as they made their way upstairs. Seulgi simply trailed behind her older friend, pestering her to answer.

            “They do finish tomorrow. My paper has to be sent in via email by noon, but I finished early.” Irene looked around Seulgi’s room. “Glad to see nothing has changed. Can I borrow some pajamas?”

            “Wait, what?”

            Joohyun went ahead and got herself a t-shirt and a pair of shorts anyway. “I wanted to surprise you, so I came a day earlier than expected. I’m impressed that my parents didn’t spill the beans to you already.” She stripped and changed in front of Seulgi, the two way past the point of caring about being half-naked in front of each other. “Although I am shocked that you actually woke up from your deep slumber.”

            Seulgi crossed her arms, waiting for her friend to turn around and face her. “Why aren’t you at home, though?”

            The older girl finished pulling on the yellow shirt and faced Seulgi. “My parents want to visit someplace with me tomorrow, which means that I won’t be able to see you until Sunday. So here I am.”

            Seulgi had to admit that she was touched, but her beauty sleep had still been interrupted. “That’s awfully thoughtful of you, and I love you, but you’re sleeping on the floor.”

            Joohyun whined. “But Seul, I walked all the way here in the dark and exerted unnecessary physical movement in my arm for you.”

            “And I didn’t ask you to do that, but here we are.” Seulgi got back under her covers, turning to face away from Joohyun. “Good night, Hyunnie.”

            Joohyun humphed but didn’t give up easily, pushing Seulgi further in with her foot on the younger’s back and sliding under the blanket. Seulgi sighed and relinquished some of her cover so Joohyun could get comfortable.

            Just as she was falling asleep, Seulgi felt Joohyun tap her shoulder. The taller girl whipped her head around. “What!”

            “Can you turn around? I don’t have a pillow, I need your arm.”

            “Use your own.”

            “It hurts from throwing rocks.”

            “I’m point five seconds away from strangling you.”

            “Well if you’re gonna do it, can you let me use your arm first?”

            “Aaaaaargh.”

            Joohyun tapped her shoulder again when they had settled in Joohyun’s desired position. Just as Seulgi felt Hypnos call out to her. So she ignored her friend.

            “Seul.”

            No answer.

            “Seulgi?”

            Silence.

            “Kang Seulgi~”

            …

            “Seul Kangi?”

            Seulgi snapped open one eye. “What do you want, Joohyun?”

            Joohyun smiled widely at her, the moonlight streaming in through the window illuminating her face even in the dark. She was bare-faced, which made her look younger than Seulgi. “There’s somewhere I want to take you when I get back on Sunday. It’s been a while.”

            Seulgi blinked at her. “Where’s that?”

            “It’s a secret.” Joohyun winked. “But you’ll love it.”

            With that, the smaller girl closed her eyes, ignoring the intense stare her friend was giving her as Seulgi tried to recall all the places they hadn’t visited in a long time. To be honest, every place they’d visited qualified, because Joohyun was in college now, so Seulgi grimaced in defeat and let herself drift off, not minding the numb sensation in her sacrificed arm as the friends gave in to sweet dreams.

-------

            Joohyun had been talking about the arcade, which they hadn’t visited since Joohyun entered high school. Seulgi’s eyes widened in excitement as Joohyun chuckled at her friend’s eagerness. The two were extremely competitive, so the arcade owner was always a bit weary to hang out around them during a game, but they were welcome nevertheless because their competitiveness also meant that they spent more money to get what they wanted (and to outrank each other). Seulgi grabbed Joohyun’s hand and dragged her from game to game, placing bets on who would win or if either of them could beat the high score.

            It was custom for them to go through all the games in the arcade, which usually took them hours on end and sometimes way more money than should have been legal, but that day was no exception as they systematically weaved around the single-player then double-player games before finishing off their session in front of the different claw machines. Joohyun’s hands shook from exertion (if only Seulgi hadn’t challenged her to shoot hoops for four games in a row instead of their usual one!) as she gently tapped at the joystick to get the claw in the desired location. Seulgi watched intensely, the two of them having a mutual understanding that dirty play was not allowed during claw machines since the investment risks were much more different than for games. The claw jerked forward and the older girl waited for it to stop swinging around before she went for the kill, quickly grabbing the stuffed pink bear and pumping her fist in victory when the toy firmly hooked onto one of the claws as it dangled all the way to the drop. That was Joohyun’s seventh toy of the day, and Seulgi was too tired to try another claw machine to beat her friend’s count.

            “This is like, the one thing I can never beat you at.” Seulgi pouted, pointing at the poop emoji plush. “I like that.”

            Joohyun raised an eyebrow and stuck out her tongue at Seulgi. “What do you want me to do about that? You should’ve tried harder.”

            “But I really like it,” Seulgi whined. “Can you give it to me?”

            The older girl shook her head firmly. “Nope. You’re not my girlfriend. I have no obligations to you.”

            Seulgi gasped, faking hurt. “But I’m your best friend! You would dare choose your girlfriend over me?”

            Joohyun waggled her head in a mocking manner. “We’ll see. If you behave, I won’t.”

            Seulgi shook her head, putting on an exaggeratedly disappointed face. “The betrayal.”

            “The truth,” Joohyun shot back, struggling to hold all her toys in her arms. She nodded her head at the cute watermelon plush with a face on it. “If you are willing to trade that with mine, I’ll do it.”

            “That’s not the same!” Seulgi hugged all four of her toys to her chest protectively. “This one cost more to play.”

            “Fine, no deal then.”

            “Fine.”

            Seulgi huffed but headed to the counter to ask the owner for a bag, which he already started preparing when he saw the two girls heading his way with a huge mass of cotton creations. He had seen them for years, and while he was surprised at their sudden visit in awhile, he always had something for them to carry their things ever since their second visit, during which they attempted to get a toy from all twelve of the claw machines in the arcade.

            “Thank you, ahjussi!” Seulgi turned to Joohyun, shifting the bag onto her shoulder. “Do you wanna grab something light to eat?”

            Joohyun nodded. “That café across the street has great carrot cake.”

            “Carrot cake and drinks it is, then.”

            Of course, they’d been to this café too, although not as frequently as the arcade. Joohyun ordered for them as Seulgi settled down in a booth near the window, the usual spot. She swayed happily from side to side as Joohyun brought the cake and drinks to their seat.

            “Oh man, I feel like I haven’t had professionally-made sweets in forever!” Seulgi dug into the slice with gusto. “Mmmmm, who needs heaven when you can experience it on earth through this cake.”

            “Seul, stop moaning, the people are staring at us.”

            Seulgi laughed. “They’ll never understand.”

            Everyone returned back to their own businesses soon enough, and the friends chatted about the small things as they always did, occasionally glancing up to see who came in when the bells chimed.

            They were a bit surprised to see Sungjae and Joy without Wendy. The three of them were a set.

            Being the introvert she was, Joohyun ducked her head down and immediately started digging into the cake at a faster speed, while Seulgi, being pretty well-acquainted with Joy now, softly called out Joy’s name and waved at her. Despite Joohyun’s prayers for them to not drop by their table, Sungjae let out a shout of recognition and dragged his friend towards them.

            “Hey, Seulgi, right?” He grinned widely, hand still holding Joy’s. “And...Joohyun?”

            Joohyun looked up to give him a small smile. “Yeah. Hi, Sungjae.”

            “It’s great seeing you guys here! How’s school been for you, Joohyun? For both of you?”

            Oh no, he was heading into small talk territory. Joohyun recalled her impressions of Sungjae. Loud. Very loud. That’s all she remembered.

            Apparently Seulgi also felt awkward, because she just nodded politely and answered with as much brevity as possible. Joy just watched the entire exchange, eyes shifting between her best friend, her classmate, and her classmate’s best friend carefully. After firing rapid questions and relaying how he kept in touch with Joy for a good five minutes, standing the entire time, Sungjae realized that they had to order something and excused himself.

            “Do you mind if we join you? I think Joy said she knows Seulgi from school, so maybe we can do like, a double-date or something.”

            Joohyun and Seulgi met each other’s eyes, and both knew that the other was screaming to save her, so Seulgi laughed awkwardly and spoke up. “Actually, Joohyun and I were just about to head out. Enjoy your drinks though!”

            “Aww, that’s a pity. We’ll see you around then. Bye!” Sungjae waved at them and gently led Joy to the counter. The girls took their chance then to grab all their stuff and rushed out, suffocating from surpassing their human interaction limit for the day. When they were a few blocks away from the café, they burst out laughing as they stopped to catch their breath, Joohyun now the one carrying the bag of toys with a tight grip as not to let them fall out into the streets.

            “Jesus, he still talks so much!”

            “I know,” Joohyun gasped. “Like, my only recollection of anything about him is that he’s so loud.”

            “Do you think him and Wendy ever clash? Their characters kinda overlap.”

            Joohyun shook her head. “No, he’s definitely a different type of too-much-talker.”

            Seulgi hummed as the two started walking again. “Where are we headed now?”

            Joohyun glanced at her taller friend. “Do you wanna head to my house? I feel like you probably haven’t seen my parents in a while. I saw yours this morning.”

            “Yeah, sure. I’m sure they miss their true daughter.”

            “Alright, Bae Seulgi. Whatever you say.”

            Seulgi whistled a light tune when she saw the familiar house belonging to her friend. She could hear music from inside the house, and she figured that Mr. Bae was working on his new project at home.

            “Mom! I’m back with Seulgi.”

            Mrs. Bae twisted around from where she sat on the sofa and laughed upon seeing the giant, lumpy bag Joohyun was holding. “Oh, you girls went to the arcade again?” She smiled at Seulgi. “Hi, honey. It’s been a while.”

            Seulgi smiled back, bowing slightly. “Thought you’d miss your real daughter, so I decided to show my face.”

            Mrs. Bae played along. “Yeah, I don’t know why you brought that imposter with you.”

            Joohyun whined. “Mom!”

            “Alright, alright.” Mrs. Bae laughed again. “You two can catch up. I’ve gotta finish watching this documentary before class tomorrow.” She turned to the television. “I would say holler if you need anything, but Seulgi probably knows the house better than I do, and this documentary ain’t watching itself.”

            They gave her a thumbs up that she didn’t see and headed upstairs to Joohyun’s room. Seulgi let out a sound of content and jumped onto Joohyun’s bed, face-down.

            “Hey, your clothes are dirty. Don’t contaminate my covers.”

            “You do it to my bed too. It’s payback.” Her voice was muffled by the bed.

            Joohyun sat at her desk, placing the bag on top of it. “I would take you down to see dad too, but he’s got a big project with some idol group this time around. Best not to interrupt him.”

            “That’s fine.” Seulgi turned around to sit up. “Maybe next time.”

            Joohyun took out her toys and placed them on her bed, looking around the room to decide where she should place them. “Seul, help me out. Where should I put these?”

            Seulgi stood up next to her and surveyed the walls. “How about you put the small ones there and the two big ones over there?”

            Joohyun nodded, trusting Seulgi’s artistic abilities more than her own, as she put her five small toys on top of her bookshelf and the two big ones on top of her wardrobe. “Ta-da.”

            Her friend nodded appreciatively and smiled. “Looks good. Imma use the restroom real quick.”

            Joohyun shot her a thumbs up, and when Seulgi left the room, she took the poop emoji plush and slipped it into the bag of the remaining toys that Seulgi would take home. She hummed contently and lounged on her bed as she waited for her friend to return.

            When Seulgi returned, the two girls caught up on whatever they didn’t get the chance to talk about in the limited call time they had, and given how observant the two introverts were, it added up to a lot. By the time they finished talking, the sun had set, and Seulgi announced that she had to head home. Joohyun got up from the bed to walk her to the door, digging through her drawer to find a shirt that she had to return to Seulgi in the process. They briefly hugged at the door and promised to see each other the next day (now that they were able to do that again), as Joohyun waved to Seulgi.

            “Don’t forget to text me when you get home! I’ll see you tomorrow, Seul.”

            She waited until her friend disappeared into the distance before heading back inside. Her mother was still watching TV, although it seemed that she had finished with the documentary and was catching up on her shows. Joohyun shook her head and climbed the stairs to her room, rubbing her eyes tiredly as she sat on her bed. She shot up in surprise when she felt something under her butt.

            “What the heck?”

            A large, stuffed watermelon plushie stared back at her, the cartoon eyes cutely looking ahead as Joohyun examined it. She laughed when she realized that Seulgi had purposely left it behind, wondering how she managed to sneak it onto her bed without Joohyun realizing it. She hugged it tightly to her chest, pleasantly surprised at the nice watermelon scent that it wafted.

            She stayed like that for a bit, squishing and poking the watermelon once in a while. When her phone buzzed, she pulled it out to see a text from Seulgi.

            ‘I hope you like my welcome home gift! :)’

            Both girls went to sleep with a plushie in their arms that night.

-------

            Joohyun thought college would be better than high school, but having already experienced the spring semester of her freshman year, she realized that it was all a fantasy created by universities to be more marketable to desperate young students who were on the verge of giving it all up and becoming part-time workers for the rest of their lives. She stretched as she headed out of the building for her last class of the day when she noticed that it was raining. She groaned in frustration upon realizing that she didn’t have her umbrella with her, and her mind immediately flashed to a certain monolidded girl before she shook her head and prepared herself to make a run to the nearest convenience store. Her left foot had just lifted up to meet its wet fate in the rain when she thought she saw someone (more like, hallucinated someone) as Seulgi stood a few meters away, waving at Joohyun from under a black umbrella.

            “Hyunnie! So I did find the right building!”

            Jesus, she needed more sleep. She was having auditory hallucinations too.

            “Joohyun? Can you hear me? Why are you just standing there?”

            Joohyun squinted at the manifestation she’d created of Seulgi, who stared back at her with a puzzled face. She shook her head hard to get rid of the vision, but when Joohyun looked back, Seulgi was still there. Now she was getting confused (as if her subjects weren't causing enough confusion as is). She slapped herself a few times and prepared to step into the rain when Seulgi rushed forward and stopped her.

            “Whoa, whoa! Did I do something wrong? Why are you ignoring me?”

            Joohyun reeled back in shock when she realized that Seulgi was actually in front of her, her mind going into overdrive at how the younger girl got to her school and found her classroom. “Wait, what? You’re really here?” She poked Seulgi’s cheek. “Oh my gosh, it is you.” Joohyun laughed. “I thought I was hallucinating.”

            Seulgi looked at her like she was crazy. “Have you been sleeping properly?”

            “Not really, but I’ve got a few projects going on, so it’s kind of expected that I don’t.” She tilted her head. “What are you doing here?” she asked, emphasizing the ‘you.’

            “Oh,” Seulgi replied, smiling. “I’m here because I knew you wouldn’t have an umbrella on you.”

            “Are you crazy? You can’t make a two hour drive here just to walk me to my dorms!”

            Seulgi shrugged. “Who says I’m here for that? You need to deflate your ego.”

            “Hey!” Joohyun slapped the taller girl’s shoulder. “No, but really, why are you here?”

            “Hmmm.” Seulgi pulled Joohyun into the umbrella, arm around her shoulders as always, before opening her mouth. “I’m touring.”

            “Touring?”

            “Yeah.” She stopped and looked at Joohyun as the rain poured down around them, some of it permeating through their jeans. “Did I not tell you? I’ll be applying to the design program here.” She smiled brightly, making the cold rain seem a little less freezing in the moment.

            “I’ll be going to college with you, Joohyun.

-------

            To say that Seulgi worked her ass off to keep her word to Joohyun would be an understatement. She thought it was cute in the moment, but moments after spitting it out and seeing Joohyun show her around the campus—where she overheard many people having intelligent conversations, even over the downpour of rain—Seulgi realized she was absolutely fucked grade-wise, and the only thing that could give her any remote chance of getting into this relatively highly-ranked university was to ace the CSAT near the end of the year.

            The now high school third year legitimately thought she was going to die with all the information going into her brain. She vaguely remembered learning that new information retained in one’s memory manifested as a wrinkle in the gelatinous organ; well, Seulgi wasn’t quite sure that her smooth brain was given enough time to adjust to the sudden change being forced onto it, because her circadian rhythm was completely thrown off and she found herself caught in the clutches of insomnia. It really sucked, she had to admit, because being unable to sleep at night directly translated to bouts of fatigue in the afternoons, during which she had no choice but to stay awake because she didn’t know anyone other than Joy who would hand her notes if she fell asleep (and unfortunately, Joy had absolutely no plans of going to a top-ten university, partly because she wanted to act and sing). This in turn meant shorter calls with Joohyun, who always complained that Seulgi needed to make more time for her (while also wondering if she had to refrain from distracting the girl from her studies). Either way, everyone suffered as Seulgi took on this major change in life: Seulgi because her poor brain was going to explode as it neared its maximum capacity, Joohyun because she felt lonelier with each passing day that Seulgi signed off after ten minutes, Seulgi’s parents because the normally smiley child was irritable nowadays, Joy because she had to ask Seulgi some things but couldn’t approach the furiously scribbling girl during breaks, and even Joohyun’s father because he had really wanted to snatch up his daughter’s friend to work on some vocals for his latest project.

            Heck, Seulgi even suffered the morning of her CSAT exam, having to ride to her exam location on the back of a policeman’s motorbike because she had a nosebleed during breakfast that made her late. She missed the encouraging text Joohyun sent and had no chance to ask her parents for luck, cursing herself for staying up the night before to review some last minute notes. The police officer had to ask her to hold onto him instead of her notebook as she perched herself precariously on the seat and flipped the pages. It was just round after round of suffering, suffering, and more suffering as Seulgi applied to colleges, grinded through exams, and waited for results. At one point, sometime in December, Seulgi seriously considered dropping out of high school and just auditioning to be an idol instead. The only thing that stopped her was her own mother telling her that people would hate her since she avoided human interaction. So college it was.

            But all the suffering turned out to be worth it when she got the notification email that results were out, and she clicked on the link with shaky fingers during the middle of lunch break. Several heads turned to her in surprise when Seulgi screamed and ran out of the cafeteria, almost tripping over her own shoes, her tray left behind on the table (she came back later and cleaned up). She rushed up to the rooftop, about to call Joohyun, before her brain suggested an idea and her fingers stopped less than a hair’s width of space away from her screen. She scrolled further down in her contacts and called her mother, knowing she’d be home for sure.

            “Seulgi? Princess, are you okay? Why are you calling me during school?”

            Seulgi smiled widely, heart still beating at the speed of a race car's engine revolution rate. She paced back and forth on the rooftop with wide strides, glad that no one was around to see her. “Mom! I got in!”

            “Got in?” There was a brief silence as her mother processed what that could possibly mean. “Wait, what?!”

            “Yeah! I can go to school with Joohyun!”

            The older woman prayed to the heavens for sending her daughter a best friend like Joohyun, because she knew that without that motivation, there was no way her daughter would have even gone to college in the first place, as pessimistic as that sounded. “That’s great, honey! Have you called her yet?”

            “No!” Seulgi all but screamed. “I have a plan. To surprise her.”

            Mrs. Kang listened carefully as her child rattled off said plan, making her realize that those past few months of cramming had indeed made her child more intelligent.

-------

            Mr. and Mrs. Bae told Joohyun that Seulgi was going to visit her one more time before Joohyun came home for break. She okayed it, too busy with work to think twice about why in the world her friend would come again when she had already toured. Afterall, Joohyun missed seeing Seulgi, so it was a win-win situation in all aspects.

            What she didn’t expect was for Seulgi’s parents to also be standing with her when Joohyun opened the door to the rather large place she was renting out near her school for the fall semester. She blinked rapidly, trying to remember if her place was cleaned up before glancing down at her sloppy outfit and rushing into her room with apologies. When she emerged a few minutes later in more presentable clothing, the Kangs had already let themselves in and gotten comfortable in her small common area.

            “Uhhh, hi mom. Dad.” She glanced briefly at Seulgi before looking back at her (basically) second parents. “I wasn’t aware the whole family was coming.”

            Mr. Kang smiled, eerily similar in appearance to his daughter. “Oh, we absolutely had to. Needed to check the place out to see what it’s like.”

            Warning bells went off in Joohyun’s mind as she dug deep in her brain for something she could possibly be forgetting. Why would Seulgi’s parents come to check in on her place? Did her parents send them? What was with their expectant faces staring at her? How come Seulgi was smiling so widely—

            Oh. OH. Joohyun’s eyes widened.

            “Did you finally get it?” Seulgi asked, standing up to walk to Joohyun and pull her into a hug. “I thought you were the smarter one out of the two of us.”

            Joohyun froze, still struggling to make sure that she wasn’t interpreting the situation wrong. Seulgi here in January, her parents checking out the place Joohyun was staying; it could only mean that Seulgi was looking into rent around this area. So she had gotten accepted into a college near Joohyun’s except for the fact that the only university immediately in the proximity of this town was—

            “OH MY GOSH, SEULGI, YOU GOT IN???”

            Seulgi winced slightly and rubbed at her ear as her smaller friend bounced around in her arms. Joohyun genuinely looked excited (and genuinely seemed like she forgot when results were supposed to come out), which made Seulgi smile and match her small hopping motions. The adult Kangs sat back and watched the two girls, whispering to each other about how they managed to only stay best friends. They were so immersed in excitedly screaming nonsense at each other’s faces that they didn’t notice Seulgi’s parents leaving silently, closing and locking the door behind them.

            “Wait, when did results come out? Why didn’t you tell me then? How the hell did I forget to ask you?”

            Seulgi calmed Joohyun down. “Hey, hey. You told me you had a bunch of projects going on, so I decided to let you focus on those and surprise you instead.”

            “Still, Seul, still.” Joohyun pouted. “I can’t believe I had to wait this long to find out.”

            “Yeah, it sucks.” Seulgi stuck out her tongue playfully. “The people eating lunch in the cafeteria at the same time as me found out earlier than you did.”

            “Meanie.”

            “Whiny baby.”

            “Compulsive...fact hider?”

            Seulgi snorted. “I see you’ve regressed, while I have become more powerful.”

            “Wait until you start college too. It’s almost like you age faster.”

            “Maybe it’s just that your skincare routine is way behind the trends.”

            “Says the girl who washes her face with a bar of soap.”

            “Ain’t nothing wrong with that.”

            “Sure.” Joohyun shook her head, smiling. “I missed you.”

            “We video call every single day.”

            “Yeah,” Joohyun replied, “but you were so busy getting smart that you left me behind to regress and become an idiot.” She knocked on Seulgi’s head. “Hmm, it seems like the brain has finally taken on some shape in there.”

            “Stupid.” Seulgi smiled. “Come here and give me another hug.”

            They stayed like that for a while before someone's stomach rumbled and both girls pulled away surprised. Neither could tell whose stomach it was nor did either girl admit to being the hungry one.

            “Well, let’s just hope there isn’t some person secretly living in your spare room.”

            Joohyun slapped Seulgi’s arm in horror. “Stop that! I’m living here alone right now!”

            “Well,” Seulgi smiled, “I’ll be moving in with you very soon, so no worries.” She pointed her thumb at the closed door. “Although we’ll have to kick them out once I start college.”

            They laughed, and Joohyun told Seulgi to sit down before heading to the kitchen. “Do you want me to fix you something?”

            “Can you do that without poisoning me?” Seulgi shot back.

            Joohyun closed the fridge. “Hey, I’ve picked up a lot, okay? I make pretty decent meals now.”

            “Good,” Seulgi said. “You can cook my meals for me once I become your roommate.”

            “Cook your own damn meals, you parasite.”

            “Have you ever seen a parasite cook? Of course not, because they leech off of others’ meals.”

            “Host bodies aren’t the actual parasites’ meals, you dingdong.” Joohyun peered at her friend. “Are you sure you didn’t fake your exam scores?”

            Seulgi gasped dramatically and clutched her chest. “Do you really think that I’m that stupid?”

            Joohyun laughed. “Yes. I still can’t believe that you turned your life around in less than a year, because I wasn’t there to see it with my own eyes.”

            “Well believe it, because I did and now I’m gonna leech off your food.”

            “Fine.” Joohyun brought Seulgi a carton of milk, opening it for her on the walk back to the couch. She leaned close to Seulgi and gave a smile that momentarily made her look like Seulgi smiling. “You’ve earned it, I guessed.”

            Seulgi nodded appreciatively. “Yes, yes. Indeed.” She sipped at her milk before turning to her friend. “You won’t be sexiling me, right? Because I really don’t have the social skills to make friends who I can stay with—”

            “Oh my god, Seulgi!” Joohyun interrupted. “People don’t even date me, what makes you think a girl will sleep with me?”

            “Have you not heard of one night st—”

            “Nope. We’re not having this talk.” Joohyun got up and started collecting her stuff on the table to head to her room. “I need to finish up this last thing and we’ll talk, but when we do it won’t be about this.” She stopped at her door, turning around on her heels and pointing at Seulgi with narrowed eyes. “You though. You sneaky child who ranked up sixty places in her grade within the last few months, you. I better not see any making out happening on my sofa or hear guttural noises above ten decibels or so help me God—” She paused, scrunching her nose at the thought of having to endure that, before continuing. “I’ll definitely find a way to sexile you, even if it means I have to trick a man and feed him just ramyun before sending him back. No funny business, Kang Seulgi. No funny business.”

            She heard Seulgi laughing as she settled down at her desk to finish her project as quickly as possible.

-------

            “Seulgi, what the fuck?!!”

            Seulgi groaned in pain as she rubbed her butt from where she had landed on the ground after Joohyun kicked her off the bed. She looked around with one barely open eye, registering that the room wasn’t hers. She continued to rub her bottom mindlessly, only slowly realizing that she was touching bare skin where her butt was supposed to be. She looked down at herself. She looked at Joohyun clutching her covers to her chest.

            “What the hell is happening?!”

            Seulgi covered whatever she could with her hands as she and Joohyun looked at each other with wide eyes, breathing heavily in panic and praying to whatever gods existed that what they were thinking might have happened didn’t happen. Seulgi squeezed her eyes shut and willed herself to disappear, hating the idea that she may have done something to ruin their friendship. What even happened last night? She peeked at her older friend.

            Joohyun simply groaned, clutching her head and wondering if they got drunk, because the hangover she was experiencing was truly phenomenal, in all the worst ways possible, and when coupled with their combined nakedness, all it did was make Joohyun want to defenestrate herself. She couldn’t possibly have taken advantage of Seulgi, not when they had promised to be best friends for life, and she was quite sure that best friends didn’t get drunk and screw each other. In a conventional society, that is.

            “Do you remember anything?”

            Seulgi shook her head. “Do you?”

            Negative. Both girls sighed in sync.

            “Listen, I don’t know what happened, but you’re probably thinking the same thing as me, right?”

            Seulgi nodded. “Best friends for life, man. Not looking to jeopardize that.”

            “So we’ll...just forget all this, if anything happened, and yeah.”

            Despite the claims they put forth, they still felt extremely awkward, especially when Seulgi shuffled out of Joohyun’s room to her own to get her clothes, shifting her hands back and forth, unsure of which parts she should focus on covering. Joohyun buried her face in her hands after Seulgi left, feeling her face flame up in embarrassment, although she wasn’t quite sure what the source of it was.

            Things got even more awkward when Seulgi started going out with a girl both of them knew from a shared class. Jisoo was bubbly, outgoing, and always on the lookout for new friends, a triple threat combo that neither Joohyun nor Seulgi possessed. It was weird that Seulgi settled for someone who was always dragging her around to meet others, but Joohyun didn’t question her choice (although she was a bit upset that Seulgi spent less time with her now). Seulgi constantly reminded Joohyun that whatever happened was just probably them fooling around after drinking a bit of alcohol, and that she had no romantic feelings for Joohyun since she was dating Jisoo. The latter two had a very casual relationship, but Joohyun didn’t fight back against Seulgi’s rambling whenever she started up, not wanting things to get even more awkward.

            However, things didn’t last long for the younger girl, who seemed very determined to distract herself from the possibility of having slept with her best friend, of all people. Jisoo broke it to her when she was visiting their place. Straightforward, no harm intended. Admirably clean, Joohyun noted.

            “Hey, Seulgi. You’re great and I’ve had a blast meeting with you these past few weeks, but I think it’d be best to end it here. We don’t really have the personalities for each other, and I think you would agree too.”

            Seulgi did. Jisoo was fun to be around, and she did all the talking for Seulgi when they went to order food and such, but it was difficult having to meet new people all the time, more so to memorize their names and faces in case she met them again on campus. Jisoo was fun, but she wasn’t comfortable to hang out with, in the same sense that she felt comfortable hanging out with Joohyun. The monolidded girl simply nodded, giving her now ex a thumbs up and wishing her the best of luck.

            “Oh, thank you, but honestly, I don’t think I’ll need much luck. College is all about casual meetings for me, you know?” She smiled brightly before motioning at the two roommates. “And you guys?”

            Joohyun scrunched her eyebrows. “Huh?”

            Jisoo maintained the upward curves of her lips, undeterred by the staccato reply. “Have you guys ever thought about dating each other? You look very good together and seem to match personalities better too.”

            “No!” Seulgi shouted a little too quickly. “We’re just friends.”

            “Oh, I see.” Jisoo nodded. Then, “Right. I completely forgot to ask you two.” Joohyun and Seulgi looked at her curiously. “Were you guys okay after I left that one night?”

            Joohyun raised an eyebrow, having no clue about what Jisoo was referring to. “What night?”

            “You don’t remember?” Jisoo scratched her head. “I mean, I guess that’s possible, because both of you were extremely drunk. You owe me one, by the way.”

            This time Seulgi spoke up. “Can you explain to us like we’re five? We have no idea what you’re talking about.”

            “Huh, you guys really must’ve blacked out.” She got up, slowly packing her bag as she spoke. “Y’all agreed to go to a party with me after a whole three weeks of convincing on my end, but the two of you got drunk on one bottle of beer, together, so I had to drag your drunk asses to this place. Was just about to leave, when Seulgi screamed something about skinny dipping and both of you stripped to your birthday suits and jumped into Joohyun’s bed like it was a pool or something and stopped moving. I only stuck around long enough to check that you guys weren’t dead before booking it.”

            Joohyun and Seulgi stared at Jisoo wordlessly before meeting each other’s eyes. Jisoo slung her bag over her shoulder and coughed slightly.

            “Well, I’ll be heading out, but I’ll see you two in class. Bye!”

            Once she left, Joohyun plopped onto the sofa. “We are never going to drink alcohol again.”

            Seulgi crashed next to her, slinging an arm over her eyes. “I’m with you on that one.”

-------

            “Do you think we’re just meant to be spinsters?” Seulgi looked at the ceiling, watching how the light peeked through her fingers when she lifted her palm to face upwards. “You’re going to be graduating this year, and neither of us have been in a serious relationship yet.”

            “I don’t know,” Joohyun sighed, not wanting to think about it. “I don’t want to date anyone just for the sake of dating, but yes, I’m a little paranoid that I’ll end up forever alone.”

            Seulgi turned onto her side to face her friend. “You know how people marry their friends for the tax benefits?” Joohyun eyed her skeptically, but Seulgi continued. “Maybe if neither of us are married or immediately in a serious relationship when we’re thirty-five, we can just marry each other or something.”

            “You’re joking, right?”

            Seulgi turned back. “Maybe I am, maybe I’m not.” She huffed. “You think tax benefits are nothing, but I heard that some people in Singapore will marry quickly to their friends or someone and carry on living their own lives with the tax benefits they get. Smart people, I have to say.”

            “Stop reading Wikipedia. You won’t get any smarter than you already are; I’m sure your brain has reached max capacity from all the nonsense you’re spewing.”

            “Alright, future cat lady. I’ll just have you know that you’re turning down a chance to live with this amazing human being for the rest of your life.”

            Joohyun snorted. “If you’re so big on those benefits, why don’t we just get married right now?”

            “And miss the chance to ever date anyone seriously? Don’t be ridiculous.”

            “Fine. Thirty-five but never before then.” Joohyun nodded. “Got it.” She pulled her legs onto the couch to cross them in front of her body before sighing. “I really do wish I meet someone I like.”

            “You like me.”

            “Not in that way, idiot. I mean, someone I’m attracted to.”

            Seulgi tilted her head at her friend. “I’m curious though. Has your ideal type changed since we last talked about it? Because mine has.”

            “Honey, yours changes every year.”

            “It’s changed twice, okay. Twice.”

            “CEO, writer, violinist, freelance artist, architect…”

            “Okay, you can stop now.” Seulgi made an annoyed face. “I actually have ideal characteristics now, not some random job.”

            “Ooooh, that’s a first. Let’s hear it.”

            “No, you first. I asked you first.”

            Joohyun merely shook her head. “I don’t know why you always try this with me when you know you’re gonna lose.”

            Seulgi stayed silent, wanting to protest, but she just sighed and started talking. “Well, I like older girls who have that mature vibe but physically are the opposite so that I can be the one to take care of her once in a while.” She tapped her chin, thinking. “Preferably we’d vibe well together. Similar hobbies and ideologies and stuff. An intellectual that I can have both deep and silly conversations with, now that I’ve discovered the world of academics.” She looked at Joohyun. “And like, pretty? I don’t know, I get that it sounds shallow, but I don’t want to wake up in the morning and see Shrek looking back at me.”

            “Jesus Christ.”

            “Exactly, now your turn.”

            Joohyun leaned comfortably against the back of the sofa. “Yeah, I agree with you on the whole vibing together part. Like, I’d prefer if she was kinda like me. But unlike you, I’m into the complete opposite type of woman physically: she’d be younger but sexy as fuck. Did I tell you that I love cat eyes? Because I fucking love cat eyes. But I also want her to be like a golden retriever when she’s around me, because imagine that. Sexy but makes you smile. Beautiful.” Joohyun smiled at the thought. “And I love smart, like that’s a given with my high standards, but it’d be nice to meet someone who was kinda creative, kind of a romantic, since I’m pretty boring. Like, they don’t have to be all out or anything, but just someone my parents would approve of.”

            They both nodded after Joohyun finished and looked at each other, neither realizing that she had just described the girl sitting next to her. Tragic, truly.

            “I have a question.”

            “As long as it isn’t about quantum physics, I’ll try to answer it.”

            “Well, good thing it isn’t,” Seulgi quipped. “It’s a little awkward though.”

            “Our entire beings are awkward, one extra question isn’t gonna damage us anymore than how we are now.”

            “Fine.” Seulgi pursed her lips. “Would you say I’m attractive? Like, either objectively or from your personal preferences.”

            Joohyun took a while to think about it, but she didn’t hesitate in her answer. “I mean definitely. And most people would agree with me.”

            “So is it the former or latter option.”

            The older girl scrunched her forehead in thought. “Both? I’m not sure.”

            Seulgi looked lost in thought. “I’m not quite sure what to think about the fact that you’re attracted to me.”

            “Hey!” Joohyun barked out, pointing a finger at Seulgi. “You’re missing out on a key point here.”

            “Which is?” Seulgi asked, raising an eyebrow.

            “I can admit you are attractive without being attracted to you!” Joohyun struggled, grasping for words that would get her point across better. “Like, I know that Won Bin is smoking hot, but I wouldn’t date him if you paid me.”

            Seulgi looked kind of offended. “That’s harsh.”

            “Listen, I’m not saying that you’re a complete turn-off to me like men are—” Joohyun stopped herself, trying to reword her thoughts. “What I mean is that you’re really pretty and all, but I value you more as a friend who I can talk comfortably to than as a person whose physical attributes satisfy my sexual desires. You follow?”

            Seulgi nodded slowly. “Yeah, I see what you mean.”

            “Good, good.”

            “It’d be funny if we did date though. Like, I can’t imagine it happening, but it’d be funny.”

            “Oh, you’d be lucky to date me,” Joohyun said, puffing out her chest. “I’m nice to look at, I’m smart, and I’m good at household chores. You can’t cook or clean to save your life.”

            Seulgi sprung up, sitting with her back straight to push against Joohyun’s point. “Yeah no, I’d definitely be the better girlfriend. You don’t have a romantic bone in your body, and you only go outside because I like exploring places.”

            “Let’s agree to disagree then. Because you’re clearly wrong.”

            “Keep denying, loser. We know that the minute the two of us get into serious relationships with other people, my girlfriend will be singing praises about me.”

            “If you can get one with that arrogant attitude.”

            Seulgi crossed her arms. “Definitely.” She pulled up a piece of paper and pen. “You know what? I’ll put it on a bucket list so I’m more incentivized to prove you wrong.”

            “Who the hell makes bucket lists these days?”

            Seulgi glanced at Joohyun briefly before turning back to her paper. “Well, lucky you, because I plan on this being a best friends bucket list.”

            “I've seen even less people make a best friends bucket list. How does that even work?”

            Seulgi hummed as she wrote some stuff down. “Shouldn’t all best friends have a bucket list? Just a list of things you’ll do together before you die, or like, reach a certain age.” She held up the paper. “It’ll be fun. I’ve got dating on here, going to Las Vegas, visiting Hong Kong—”

            “Oh wait, that does sound fun. You should’ve told me it was going to be fun things, not crazy things.”

            “I mean, bucket lists have some crazy things. Like, the extent of how crazy depends on the person making it, but you gotta live life with some thrill.”

            Joohyun thought about it for a moment. She wasn’t wrong. “Fine. As long as it doesn’t include skydiving, I’m cool.”

            Seulgi gasped, quickly writing something down. “But that’s a must!”

            Joohyun tried to rip the paper but failed when Seulgi ran off with the bucket list, the words ‘GO SKYDIVING!’ clearly written out as item number thirteen.

-------

            The girls may have forgotten that there would be another year of separation once Joohyun graduated and Seulgi continued to go to school as a senior. As Joohyun got ready to go out into the real world, Seulgi badgered her to get a job nearby so that they wouldn’t have to go through the limited screen communications process again.

            “Okay, but it’s very likely that I’ll be up in Seoul once I get a job, and who knows where you’ll end up once you graduate. The job market is very limited, we can’t just pick and choose based off of where we wanna be.”

            Seulgi huffed, crossing her arms. “So you’re cool with the torture we had to go through the first time when you were in college and I was still in high school.”

            “That’s not what I mean.”

            “Well, what do you mean?”

            Joohyun rolled her eyes. “I’m saying that you can’t follow me around for the rest of your life.” She sighed. “Like, I get your concerns. Once we both have full time jobs, it’ll be hard to hang out together and all, but you can’t just abandon better job prospects if they aren’t in Seoul.”

            “Clearly you haven’t done your research, because it’s actually easier for me to get a job in Seoul.”

            “Why the hell would I be researching your major’s employment stats?

            “Duh,” Seulgi said matter-of-factly. “Because this is important and you know you wanna keep tabs on where I’ll end up?”

            “That sounds creepy and more like you than me.”

            “Whatever.” Seulgi got up from the couch and headed to the kitchen, prowling through the cabinets and shifting around stuff in the fridge until she found what she wanted. Vegetable crackers. She held it up for her friend to see and raised her eyebrows, silently asking if Joohyun wanted some. Joohyun nodded.

            “Okay, fine. Then say you do get a job in Seoul with me. We’ll still be way too busy to hang out every day.”

            “No need to worry about that.” Joohyun looked at Seulgi questioningly. “We’ll just move in together, be roommates again. Voila.”

            “Ugh, but I’m sick of you now.” Seulgi narrowed her eyes at Joohyun and elbowed her, making the latter cough out some crumbs. “Dude!”

            Seulgi ignored Joohyun’s glare as she spoke. “Well, too bad. You know I hate living by myself, so someone’s gotta stay with my lonely ass. And you're the lucky winner.” She grinned annoyingly at the older girl.

            “Can’t you just get a girlfriend? I’m not your Dutch wife.”

            “What’d you mean?” Seulgi tilted her head at Joohyun. “Of course you’re not my Dutch wife. You're not even my wife!" She looked overly pleased at her joke. "And I don’t need a girlfriend, when you’re my girl friend,” she said, taking care to emphasize the space between the two words.

            The older girl choked again, but this time, it looked serious, which prompted Seulgi to slap her back with force. Joohyun clutched at her chest and hoarsely whispered for water, making the younger girl scurry off to get the life-saving liquid. When she returned, Joohyun’s face was very red.

            “You need to tone down the greasiness, I’m gonna get high cholesterol.”

            “Well, I didn’t say anything wrong. You are, in fact, my girl friend.”

            “Stop saying that!”

            “Why?” Seulgi feigned innocence, widening her eyes and staring at Joohyun with a few blinks thrown in every now and then. “Does it bother you?”

            “Yes!” Joohyun finished off the last of the water, slit eyes suddenly turning mischievous as she turned fully towards Seulgi. She leaned close to the younger girl, making the latter back into the sofa, before heading to whisper in her ear. “I think you just made my heart skip a beat.”

            She pulled back laughing, the laughing turned into strangled guffawing when she saw how red Seulgi’s face was. “That’s revenge!” Joohyun then got up and headed (sprinted) into her room to finish reading for her classes.

            Seulgi hiccupped, the jarring disruptions to her airflow building in quantity. She cursed at the spasmic reaction and peered into the glass Joohyun drank from, groaning when she saw that there was no water left. She got up, emitting sharp, piercing sounds as she hurried to the kitchen and drank water straight from the pitcher. Only after the hiccups subsided did she tap her chest twice to double-check before glaring at her friend’s closed room door.

            “You goddamn flirt!”

-------

            Thankfully, Seulgi didn’t have to worry too much about being lonely during her senior year, because Joohyun’s cousin also went to their school and decided to move out from the dorms after her first year. Seulgi watched her move into the place with arms crossed, not sure how to feel about this specific rooming situation.

            “Yah, Seulgi, why aren’t you helping us?”

            Seulgi tightened the muscles in her arms in their place across her chest. “I can’t believe the roommate you suggested to me was Kim Yerim!”

            Joohyun grimaced as a strangled sound left her mouth from her attempts to move a box into the doorway. “I told you it’s just a temporary thing. She didn’t have time to look for off-campus housing, because-” she gave the now second year a dirty look- “this dumbass is the absolute biggest procrastinator you’ll have ever seen.” She straightened her back and dusted her hands, seeing that all the boxes were inside. “I promise she’ll move out by next semester, and even if she doesn’t, you graduate this year anyway, so no problems, right?”

            Seulgi watched as Yerim stuck her tongue out from behind Joohyun, putting her thumbs in her ears and wiggling her fingers. Seulgi narrowed her eyes, which earned a 'tsk' from Joohyun.

            “Don’t give me that look, Seul. You said okay last time.”

            “You got me drunk!”

            “My point still stands.”

            “I’ve got it on video too,” Yerim chimed in. “I think at one point you were also down on one knee, proposing to Joo—”

            “Stop right there, Kim Yerim, or I’ll kick you out myself.” Joohyun turned to look at her cousin, who looked sheepish.

            “Sorry unnie.”

            Joohyun stepped back halfway, glancing back and forth between her best friend and her cousin. She motioned with her fingers for both of them to come forward, and they obediently shuffled to stand side-by-side in front of her.

            “I expect the two of you to behave, because I’ll still be calling you,” she pointed at Seulgi “every single day, and you,” she pointed at Yerim, “I’ll be in touch with your mom, so don’t even think about fighting. You two are adults now.”

            Yerim’s mouth started moving on its own. “Yeah, but you fight with your wife everyday.”

            “We’re not dating!”

            The youngest one smirked at their response. “Only a married couple would be that synchronized.” She ignored their glares as she started moving boxes into Joohyun’s old room. “Don’t worry, the entire family is okay with it, and we’re just waiting for the actual wedding ceremony.”

            Seulgi didn’t get a chance to lunge for her throat, because Yerim stuck her tongue out and slammed the door, leaving her with an exhausted Joohyun. It was going to be one long semester, she thought, and she really was looking forward to helping Yerim move her stuff out of the flat.

-------

            Joohyun had been on the same boat with Seulgi in terms of wanting Yerim to find her own place as soon as possible, but that didn’t mean she was going to take advantage of their co-habitual state to spy on both whenever possible. She was sure the two girls were aware of her asking about the other to both of them, but they still provided all the juicy gossip, roasting their roommate whenever possible. It was exciting, really. However, it ended when Yerim did stick to her word and moved out at the end of the spring semester, leaving Seulgi to have the whole place to herself. Seulgi seemed relatively happy about this, if not a bit whiny that Joohyun wasn’t there, but everything returned to normal and even Yerim stopped her daily calls with her cousin.

            So when the younger girl’s name flashed across her screen in the middle of a morning meeting, Joohyun simply rejected the call, muttering her apologies to her team and mentally reminding herself to text Yerim about how important it was that she didn’t call Joohyun during worktimes. It was only around lunch break that Joohyun remembered Yerim’s call, so she quickly took out her phone and texted her. She had barely sent a short ‘Kim Yerim.’ when her phone lit up with Yerim’s name. Joohyun answered.

            “Unnie!”

            “Kim Yerim, I told you that I have work. You can’t just call me in the middle of a meet—”

            “You need to hurry!”

            “What?” Joohyun paused, choosing to rebuke the younger girl later. “What are you talking about?”

            Yerim seemed to be in a hurry. “I can’t believe it so you so damn long to call back, Seulgi unnie’s in the hospital, and I’m already late for class—”

            “Wait,” Joohyun interrupted. “What did you just say?”

            “Are you deaf? Seulgi unnie’s in the hospital, and I have to go to class!” Yerim was panting. “I would’ve called her parents or something, but she has a lock on her phone, and the only mutual between us is you, so I’ll text you the address, and figure things out, because I need to blast.”

            Yerim ended the call before Joohyun had a chance to ask any questions, and moments later, a message came in with the name and address of the hospital. Joohyun quickly sped down to her office, praying that her supervisor was in, and when she checked that she was, she filed an emergency leave for the rest of the day.

            The hospital was near her old college, so Joohyun was on the verge of crying by the time she managed to get there. The taxi driver kept glancing at her worriedly and complied every time Joohyun asked him to step on the gas (she was so nervous that she didn’t realize he slowed back down to the speed limit immediately afterwards). The panicking girl threw a bunch of bills at him and sped out of the car the minute he braked in front of the hospital.

            “Is a Kang Seulgi here? I was texted this address.”

            The nurse looked up at Joohyun calmly from her desk. “Are you a family member?”

            “No, I—” Joohyun bit her lip, pleading with her head to come up with something that would let her in. “Yeah, I’m her cousin.”

            “Her cousin left a while ago.”

            Joohyun gave a tight, forced smile. “That’s my sister. She had to leave so she asked me to come here, since the rest of our family is in…Jeju.”

            The nurse gave her a skeptical look but nodded. “I see. She’s in the ER right now, but she should be out soon.”

            “ER?!” Joohyun leaned onto the counter separating her from the nurse, face too close for the latter’s liking. “Is she dying?”

            “Ma’am, please calm down.” The nurse shifted back a little bit and grimaced. “I can tell you where the waiting room is, and the doctor will tell you more once the operation is finished.”

            “OPERATION?!”

            The nurse ignored her frantic parroting and looked at her computer. “If you go to the second floor and turn right, you’ll see the waiting room. Have a nice day.”

            Half of Joohyun wanted to grill her with more questions, but the logical side of her told her that the poor woman probably didn’t know much either, so the other half propelled her feet towards the stairs, not having the patience to wait for the elevator. She’d face the consequences of the strenuous activity later, when she found out why her friend was undergoing an operation instead of attending class.

            After a good half hour of tapping her feet nervously and pacing up and down the hallway, Joohyun saw the doors open and a man in scrubs step out. He eyed Joohyun warily before walking towards her. “Family of Kang Seulgi?”

            Joohyun nodded so hard that her head hurt. “That’s me.” She stopped her movement to look at the doctor. “Is she okay?”

            The surgeon nodded. “We had to do an operation because of a convexity meningioma, but it was successful, and she is being taken to a room to recover.”

            “A convex what?”

            “Convexity meningioma,” he repeated. “It’s a type of brain tumour—”

            “Does she have cancer?!”

            “Miss, please.” He held up his hands to signal for Joohyun to let him continue. “I’ll explain everything that you need to know.”

            “Sorry. Please continue, doctor.”

            “Anyway, a convexity meningioma is a type of benign tumour that grows on the surface of the brain, making them quite easy to remove. We generally don’t even discover them unless we do an MRI or CT scan or the tumour grows large enough to press on surrounding structures and trigger serious symptoms.” He glanced at his clipboard. “Ms. Kang’s tumour was on the larger side, but we’ve successfully removed it and we’ll just watch for the next few weeks to make sure that everything’s clear.”

            “So, no cancer?”

            “No, ma’am. Benign tumours are not cancerous.”

            Joohyun collapsed into her seat in relief. “Oh my god, thank you so much, doctor. I don’t know how to show you how grateful I am.”

            He chuckled. “No need. Twenty percent of benign brain tumours are convexity meningiomas, so it isn’t that invasive or difficult of a process. Most of the time taken up is in examining how to operate on it.” He smiled softly at her. “You should be able to go visit her now.”

            Joohyun found out what Seulgi’s room number was and went to her, careful not to make abrupt noises in case she was still asleep. The younger girl was resting peacefully on the bed but stirred when Joohyun reached out and stroked her hair.

            “Hngg?”

            A corner of Joohyun’s lips quirked up. “Just rest, honey. I’ll be here.”

            Seulgi, being the obedient girl she is, even in her subconscious state, immediately fell back into a deep sleep.

            Joohyun took the time to observe her best friend, realizing that she’d gotten pretty thin, something that was harder to catch through the screen. Her generally fluffy cheeks were a bit sunken in, and her eyes almost seem to droop down in exhaustion, a change from their normal catty upward turn. Her heart clenched at Seulgi’s pitiful state, so Joohyun chose to lay her head down near Seulgi’s arm as she grasped onto the younger girl's hand and shut her eyes.

            She awoke what seemed like minutes later to someone gently stroking her head. Joohyun turned to see the source and saw Seulgi smiling at her, eyes forming soft crescents despite the exhaustion evident in her face. Joohyun didn’t know if she wanted to cry or smile, so she just watched Seulgi tilt her head and speak to her.

            “Hey, Hyunnie. A surprise seeing you here.”

            For some odd reason, that light phrase released the torrent from within Joohyun’s body, and a sob left her mouth as she clung to the younger’s torso. Seulgi let her cry it out, quietly patting her back, breathing evenly to calm her down. When Joohyun caught her breath enough to speak, she sniffled a few times and buried her face deeper into Seulgi’s shoulder.

            “I missed you, idiot.”

            Seulgi laughed, sending a pleasant humming onto Joohyun’s skin. “I missed you too, my best friend who is more of an idiot than me.”

            “Am I interrupting something here?”

            Joohyun whipped her head around to see Yerim (she wasn’t really a cockblocker, because they weren’t doing anything headed in that direction and both of them still denied status beyond best friends) standing in the doorway, flowers in hand. She raised an eyebrow, as if asking if she could come in, to which Seulgi waved at her to do so.

            “I would normally say more, but I don’t know what’s up with Seulgi unnie, so let’s hear about you.” Yerim set down the flowers beside the bed and looked at the younger of the two best friends. “Are you okay? I’m sorry I had to rush off; I didn’t really figure out what was happening to you.”

            “Yeah, about that,” Seulgi scratched her head, “thanks. I owe you one.”

            Joohyun looked back and forth between the two. “What happened?”

            Yeri massaged her neck and leaned back in her chair. “I remembered that I had left something in your old room, so I went back to get it, hoping Seulgi unnie wasn’t in. I didn’t hear anything when I knocked, so I punched in the code, which hadn’t changed from Joohyun unnie’s birthday by the way, and walked in, only to see Seulgi unnie convulsing on the floor.” She shuddered at the image. “For a moment I thought a zombie apocalypse was breaking out, but then I realized that she was having a seizure, so I got the help of my friend who drove me to Seulgi unnie’s place and had her admitted here. I had to lie that I was her cousin, but they didn’t have a chance to tell me what was wrong with her before I had to head to class.”

            Joohyun nodded, feeling the shivers down her spine at the mental image of her friend having a seizure. “Did you get what you needed?”

            Yerim’s face turned a little sour. “No. But it’s no big deal. I can get it later.”

            “When Seulgi’s not home? That’s trespassing, you know.”

            “I know!” Yerim said too quickly, quieting down afterwards. “But, I don’t want to—” The rest of her words were indistinguishable.

            “What?”

            “Nothing.”

            “It’s a dildo, isn’t it.”

            “No!” Yerim’s face flushed red. “It’s not mine!”

            “Ah, so it is.” Joohyun snorted.

            Yerim swore under her breath, muttering something about feeding Nayeon to the vultures.

            Seulgi cleared her throat awkwardly. “Um, is that why everytime I passed your room, there were weird sounds…”

            “No!”

            “I’m joking.” Seulgi held her hands up in surrender. “I actually saw your friend sneak it deep into your drawer when you left to use the restroom. I’m assuming she only now told you about it?”

            “Didn’t want you to think anything weird, so I was trying to get rid of it before you found it.”

            “Hey, I don’t judge—”

            Joohyun laughed. “Alright, that’s enough.” She turned to Yerim. “Thanks for helping her though. I really mean it.”

            Yerim snorted. “Of course. You owe me for saving your wife’s ass.”

            “We’re not—”

            Yerim held up a finger. “Keep denying it all you want, but no one with two functioning eyes will believe you. Now tell me about the diagnosis.”

            Joohyun rattled off what the doctor told her, both Seulgi and Yerim nodding in awe at the big medical terms she copied off of the surgeon, before telling Yerim to watch over Seulgi and heading outside. She called her boss and paced the hallway as she waited for her to pick up and let her know that she had to take a short-term compassionate leave for her, ehem, cousin since the rest of their family was in Jeju. Her supervisor was a very lenient woman, so she told Joohyun not to worry, and Joohyun thanked her before ending the call. She headed back in at the same time a nurse came to the room.

            “So, Ms. Kang. You’ll be discharged in two day’s time, and you’ll be meeting with the neurosurgeon within one to two weeks after that. Most people return to their workplaces within two to six weeks, but you shouldn’t have any problems carrying on your normal routine otherwise once you are released. We typically advise that the only exercise you do is short, light walks, and nothing too heavy. Actually, we encourage the former.”

            Seulgi nodded. “Alright, thank you.”

            The nurse left, nodding and smiling politely at Joohyun. Joohyun smiled back.

            “Yerim, you can go now. I’ll be here to look after her.”

            Yerim glanced up from her phone. “Don’t tell me you took time off work to stay at the hospital. They have nurses here!”

            Joohyun gave her a pointed look. “I just wanna be here for moral support.”

            “Moral support, my ass. You just wanna spend time with your wife.”

            “Don’t make me chuck the vase at you.”

            “Hey, hey,” Seulgi called out, arms spread wide with palms facing the girls. “I’m a recovering patient. No fighting.”

            Joohyun huffed but relented. “Fine. Only because you asked nicely.” She turned to her leaving cousin. “We’ll talk later, you little Satan.”

            Yerim stuck out her tongue and waved at Seulgi before sprinting out.

            The two friends looked at each other and smiled. Joohyun sat on the chair besides Seulgi’s bed and fiddled with the taller girl’s fingers.

            “I can’t believe you let yourself get to this point. The doctor said the tumour was pretty big. Did you seriously not notice anything was off?”

            Seulgi hummed, eyebrows scrunching in thought. “I mean, I did feel tired and dizzy and get headaches, but I just thought I was sleep-deprived. You know how college is.”

            “I never had a seizure nor did I even feel remotely dizzy in college, so if that’s how college is, then I don’t.”

            Seulgi scrunched her nose, sensing the nagging about to come from Joohyun from its dormancy deep within her small body. “Okay, fine. I wasn’t really taking care of myself, but we don’t know why the tumour formed, so give me a free pass, eh?”

            Joohyun’s eyes softened. “I’m just worried about you, Seul.”

            “I know.” Seulgi smiled. “And I appreciate your concern.” She motioned for Joohyun to hug her. “You’re my bestest bestest friend, and I would never do anything to leave you behind. I’m sorry for worrying you.”

            “I’m letting you off this time, because you’re bed-ridden, but don’t expect to escape my wrath if you keep up with this lifestyle, Seulgi. We made a promise to be best friends for life, so I’ll hold you to match my stamina.”

            Seulgi pulled back and rolled her eyes. “What stamina? If longevity is based on stamina, you’d be a skeleton already.”

            “Oh, shut up. We all know that the skinny nerds outlive the bulky jocks.” She poked Seulgi’s stomach. “Imma convert you into my people if need be.”

            Her friend smiled. “As long as I can stay by your side forever, I don’t care what you do to me, Hyunnie.”

            “Ugh, you’re gonna make me throw up.” Joohyun fake gagged. “But I’m taking you up on that offer.”

            Neither girl thought about the fact that such assurances didn’t necessarily exclude the possibility of transforming their platonic love, of crafting a future that had matured beyond the saplings of their present.

            -------

            One thing that Seulgi realized after she graduated and moved in with Joohyun (again) was that her concerns about post-graduation were unnecessary. Of course it definitely helped that the friends were both situated in Seoul and that Seulgi’s workplace was relatively flexible about her teleworking. The two had fallen into a routine that was pretty darn similar to that of real-life, working adults, and they were extremely proud of that fact. It made them more confident, more relaxed. Even their relationship seemed to have “matured” in a sense: although there were periods of time where both Joohyun and Seulgi were so busy with work that they didn’t have the chance to do fun things together, or in extreme scenarios talk for even five minutes at the end of the day, the girls found that it was never awkward to pick up conversation again—to sit down next to each other on the sofa and squeal over the latest magazine pictorials of their celebrity crushes, as if there was never a momentary stop in their interactions, only the possibility of revival, a return to where they had last left things off. There was no longer that anxiety about being broken from the other; the girls came to an understanding that tying themselves to each other disallowed them from growing independently and as two people in a sustaining relationship, and only by seeing the other as a guiding force rather than the answer could they become stronger.

            This didn’t mean they stopped doing the little things for each other, though. When they had the chance to sit down together, Joohyun would wordlessly work out the knots in Seulgi’s shoulders, and when the thunderstorms got loud, Seulgi would stay in the bed with Joohyun until she fell asleep, humming softly into her ear. Seulgi always finished off Joohyun’s leftovers, no matter how messily she ate them, and Joohyun always ordered or cooked foods that she knew Seulgi would enjoy eating. When their schedules were flipped because of the long hours Joohyun had to stay at her work or the big project Seulgi had to finish by the end of the week, a meal and a small note would sit on the kitchen table, small words of encouragement scrawled in a hurry as the cook for that meal rushed off to work. They always kept each other in the back of their minds when the situations called for the other parts of their brain to be used for adult life, checking into that small corner once in a while through a quick text or brief phone call.

            Perhaps this slight distance made their relationship grow fonder—the friends were still newbies at their workplaces, so they knew that once they got more experience, they would have more time to pay attention to the other things in life: to self-care, to quick vacations, to each other. That anticipation drove them forward day-by-day, and soon enough, they were in their late twenties, old enough to finally live out those expectations but young enough to be excited about them. They fell back into a cycle of togetherness, one fueled by the lack of love life that their diligent past years had brought about, and ironically found themselves telling each other the same things they had told each other years back, when they were still students with whimsical fantasies about love.

            “I still do not believe you when you say that there isn’t a single person around you that you can date. Not with that face.”

            “And I still do not believe that you think I could have possibly levelled up my sociability when all I do is work and hang out with you.”

            “Joohyun, you’re going to be thirty in two years.”

            “Oh, I wasn’t aware that I didn’t know what my age was. I believe you’ll be thirty in three years then?”

            “Joohyun,” Seulgi said in a warning tone. “Don’t think I haven’t seen you chase away that one girl; was it Jennie?” She frowned as she shifted through the clothing rack of the store they were in. “She’s totally your type too. Younger, sexy cat eyes, artistic, somewhat introverted, acts like a lovesick puppy around you. It’s outrageous that you told her you weren’t interested.” The younger girl picked something out and passed it to Joohyun.

            Joohyun took the shirt Seulgi held out to her and held it to her chest. “I know, but it’s just…” She waved her free hand around as she struggled to find words. “There’s something missing, you know?” Seulgi gave her a blank expression that screamed ‘no, I don’t know.’ Joohyun sighed. “Like, I can’t quite explain it in words, but we don’t click. Not in the way you and I do.”

            Seulgi shook her head, holding up another shirt to her own chest. “Okay, but if you are looking for someone like that, then you won’t be able to find anyone, because at that point you’re just looking for another best friend.” She looked at Joohyun. “You can’t just date a carbon copy of your best friend, Hyunnie.”

            Joohyun pouted. “Like you’ve been doing any better.” She examined the shirt she was holding. “You’ve also been in zero serious relationships.”

            Seulgi rubbed her temple. “At least I go on dates!” She pointed towards the shirt her friend was holding. “Is that okay, or do you want it in a different colour?”

            The smaller girl looked between her and Seulgi’s shirts, studying them carefully. “Maybe you should get orange, and I’ll get pink. They don’t clash as much.”

            Seulgi nodded and made the change. Joohyun handed her the smaller shirt and they made their way to the cashier, where they paid for the clothes and left to check out another shop.

            “Don’t you think it’s kinda weird that we wear a bunch of matching clothing? You and I don’t even have similar fashion tastes.”

            Joohyun hummed. “I mean, we go shopping together all the time, so I don’t see why it would be a problem.”

            Seulgi pulled her friend into a jewelry store. “But, like, we have matching clothing, accessories, and even shoes. I’m surprised no one thinks we’re a couple yet.”

            “Excuse me, but have you forgotten about Kim Yerim? That wannabe Cupid has called us a married couple for nearly two decades.” Joohyun tapped on the glass to call the attendant. “Plus, you don’t have to be a couple to wear matching stuff. Best friends do it all the time too.”

            The attendant arrived, smiling professionally. “Hello, how can I help you today?”

            “Hi, do you have any mid-range necklaces with a winter theme?”

            “Of course!” The woman showed them to a section further left. “Here we have pieces that use white gold, diamonds, and aquamarines, including some designs from this year’s New York Fashion Week.” She pulled out an elegant-looking necklace that resembled a snowflake. “This one has been a best-seller for the past few years, and” she pulled out another necklace that was diamond-shaped, “this one is popular amongst couples.” The woman pointed to a few other accessories. “This is our bigger winter-theme couple’s section, if you two are looking for rings, bracelets, or earrings.”

            Seulgi gave Joohyun a pointed look as the smaller girl smiled stiffly. “Oh, we’re not a couple. Just friends.”

            “Oh my, I’m so sorry!” the attendant exclaimed. “I just saw the matching outfits and assumed…”

            “No worries,” Seulgi replied. “We get that a lot for some reason.”

            The attendant laughed lightly. “It must be because you look so good together! A lot of the couples I see in here are either looking to get married or making up for something done wrong, but none of them really wear matching outfits.” She smiled again. “It’s a cute trend that I wish more people brought back.”

            “Ha ha, I see.” Joohyun pressed her lips together after looking at the accessories. “If it’s okay with you, we’ll look around a bit and come back.”

            The woman maintained her polite smile. “Of course! Thank you for visiting, and we hope to see you again!”

            The two girls booked it out of there, on the verge of exploding in laughter. Once they were a safe distance from the shop, they let it all out.

            “Oh my god, did you see her face when she realized she fucked up? She was like, ‘please don’t leave, please don’t leave, please don’t leave me!’”

            Joohyun wiped a tear. “You could totally tell she was faking it at the end when we told her we’d come back, she really pushed it with the whole thing about bringing back the trend when we told her we were friends. Jesus.” She glanced at Seulgi. “We could probably trick so many people into giving us couple discounts if this continues.”

            Seulgi’s head shot up from her hysterical laughter to look at Joohyun. “You’re a genius!”

            “What?”

            The taller girl grabbed Joohyun’s arm excitedly. “The mall always has restaurants that have those couple meals at cheaper prices. Why not take advantage of it?”

            And so they found themselves sharing a heart-shaped steak with a twenty percent discount off the normal price. At least it came with a free choice of wine.

-------

            To be honest, sometimes the girls initiated the dating comments themselves. It was almost a game at this point to see how often they brought up the subject of dating each other themselves. Such as the following scenario:

            “Seulgi, stop playing games.”

            The younger girl looked up from her console and saw Joohyun standing there, just looking at her with her arms crossed across her chest. “You’re not my mom.”

            “I don’t have to be your mom to tell you to stop playing games.”

            Seulgi cleared her throat, staring at the screen. “My bad, let me correct my statement. You’re not my mom, wife, or girlfriend. Don’t tell me what to do.”

            “But I’m bored,” Joohyun whined. “It’s our first time having the entire weekend off in three weeks, and you’re wasting precious time playing games.”

            “Well, too bad, Hyunnie. Life isn’t fair.”

            “Play with me, Seul.”

            “Nope.”

            Joohyun took a different approach, lowering her voice threateningly. “I want you to play with me.”

            Seulgi scoffed but didn’t even glance at her. “You can do that if you date me.”

            The older girl made a displeased face but threw her hands up in the air. “Tsk, flirt.”

            “Only for you, babe. Only for you.”

            Or even this scenario:

            “Joohyun, be my plus one to my brother’s wedding.”

            The older girl looked up from her book. “Is that supposed to be a question?”

            Seulgi continued to stare at her. “Be my plus one to my brother’s wedding.”

            “Not with that attitude.”

            “Be my—”

            “Okay, okay!” Joohyun helped up her hands in surrender. “Fine, I’ll be your freaking plus one.” She narrowed her eyes and pointed at the younger girl. “But you know they’re just going to think we’re dating again!”

            Seulgi shrugged. “So?”

            “Your brother’s probably gonna mention it during his speech!”

            “No, they know us too well to say that we’re actually dating.” Seulgi leaned closer and shut Joohyun’s book as she poked her friend’s nose. “They’ll just tease us a lot.”

            Joohyun shoved the taller girl away from her. “Ugh. Not looking forward to it.”

            “Really?” Seulgi pulled her up and patted her head, smirking deviously. “I was thinking we could give them a show. Like an early April Fools.”

            And boy, did they give them a show. Even their parents didn’t seem to know what to say about the fact that the two friends were unusually clingy as they hid away at their table and just whispered in each other’s ears, not minding all the bustling of the guests around them. They simply laughed and enjoyed the catered food, warding off Seulgi’s distant relatives by pulling into tight hugs whenever someone so much as stepped within two tables’ distance of them. It was highly amusing but also incredibly confusing to the older Baes and Kangs.

            “You know,” Mr. Bae drawled, letting his eyes linger on his daughter and his other (basically) daughter. “I have a feeling that we’ll be back in this wedding venue very soon.”

            Mrs. Kang laughed. “Yeah, except next time, you and your wife will be seated on the opposite side instead of here as guests.”

            “Isn’t it so weird that they still deny that they have feelings for each other?”

            Mrs. Bae shrugged. “I have a feeling that even now they’re pulling some kind of stunt, but we’ll be the ones with the last laugh when they look back and realize that the subconscious can never be truly hidden.”

            “Amen to that.” They all toasted. “Hopefully we’ll see them in nice dresses before we head off to the crematoriums.”

            “At this rate, we’ll have to be reincarnated seven more times before they get together.”

-------

            She doesn’t know at what point her eyes started to follow her friend to see more of her rather than to merely check where she was situated, but Joohyun really didn’t like the confusion it brought her. Seulgi was a staple in her life, almost like the rice to her meals, and the comfort that the younger girl brought her was unquestionable.

            But that was the problem.

            Comfort was supposed to be calm and stable, a relaxing force that grounded its beneficiary and assured them that all sudden changes could be converted back to a starting point or at the very least allow for the creation of a new starting point. However, the comfort that Seulgi brought Joohyun made her feel like she was in a never-ending high—a type of constant perpetuation in its own right—but one that always carried an elation that she couldn’t quite escape from. Life with Seulgi was comfortable, because she knew that Seulgi would be the one to bring change to her in all the good ways and all the fun ways, and a return, a creation of a starting point was never needed, because Seulgi was her start and her middle and her end, and all other markers of measurement weren’t necessary.

            The only threat to this comfort was Seulgi. Joohyun didn’t know how someone could be her comfort and the sole threat to that comfort, but she was powerless because of it. She wanted to know what Seulgi thought of her, what she felt about her, if her confusion was mirrored in the mind of the younger girl who she had deemed so alike to her for years. The girl who she had linked pinkies with under the fluorescent light of a small, childishly-decorated second-floor bedroom as they promised each other a forever that bound them in the purest sense of platonic love possible. And Joohyun wasn’t sure if this promise was one that the both of them still held up to its original intentions.

            “Seulgi?”

            “I’m taking a shit.”

            “Okay.” Joohyun sat in front of the bathroom door. “Can I ask you something?”

            “I just told you that—”

            “You’re taking a shit, yes, I know.” Joohyun rolled her eyes. “Last time I recalled, shit comes out of your butthole, not your mouth.”

            “Well, I’ve seen you talk shit, so I beg to differ.”

            “Please, it’s just one question.”

            “Fine. But honestly, if you just wait, like, forty seconds, I’ll be out real quick.” The toilet flushed, and Joohyun could hear the sound of the tap as Seulgi washed her hands. “Okay, I’m ready.”

            Joohyun stopped her. “No, wait. I’m sitting in front of the door. Don’t come out.”

            “Oh wow, that’s weird.” Seulgi crinkled her nose. “But I promise it doesn’t smell that bad, so I'm gonna come out now.”

            “No!” Joohyun banged on the door. “Just...sit down in front of the door, and I’ll ask my question. Ummm, I don’t trust that it won’t smell.”

            Seulgi was extremely weirded out, but she complied, leaning her back against the door. “What is it?”

            Joohyun was silent for a moment, glad that Seulgi couldn’t see her troubled face. “Seulgi?”

            “I’m still here. Thanks to a certain somebody.”

            “Asshole.”

            “It just did its job.”

            “I swear—”

            “Okay, okay. I won’t interrupt. What do you wanna ask?”

            “Well…” Joohyun took a deep breath. “Seulgi, have you ever broken a promise?”

            Seulgi tapped her chin, thinking about all the promises she made. She’d broken a few, like when she promised her mom she’d get all A's in middle school or when she told her dad that she wouldn’t use her book allowance to buy candy, but those were minor things and didn’t really count in her moral dictionary. She was sure Joohyun wouldn’t count them as broken promises either. “No, not really. Why?”

            Joohyun tapped her feet back and forth from her position on the floor, knees bent to her chest. “Just wondering.” There was a brief silence.

            “Have you?” Seulgi asked after a while, curious to hear the answer.

            “I don’t know…” Joohyun trailed off, answering honestly. She was, afterall, the better-behaved child of the two, but who knew what promises she had made and broken unintentionally. “I don’t think so.” They mustn’t have been important promises if she didn’t even remember breaking them anyway. She bit her lip. “But I’m afraid that I might someday.”

-------

            They had their first big, first official, first real fight two days later.

            It must’ve been over something silly—it had to have been—but neither girl could recall what the catalyst was for them to explode at each other, shouting irrational, unfiltered words that they didn’t mean. Seulgi was surprised, if she were to be honest, because she thought that they would have had a fight like this earlier on in their friendship, perhaps when they were emotional teenagers or even in the bumpy transition periods when Joohyun was elsewhere and they could only communicate through a small screen. That would’ve made more sense, and Seulgi would have preferred it happened then, because whatever she was feeling now would definitely have not shown up back then in the same way, in a way that twisted her insides and made her feel guilty and angry at herself. She just couldn’t understand.

            No, it definitely wasn’t an anger at Joohyun. She knew that off the bat, when the first piercing screams left her mouth, when Joohyun looked at her with an expression that she wished she would have never seen so long as she lived, an expression that was so beautifully complicated like the unique mix of colours on a painter’s easel as he prepared to create something of meaning. Seulgi thought that fights were supposed to leave people angry at the other person, or even sad, but all she felt was a longing for something she wasn’t quite sure of herself. An abstraction in the purest sense.

            Joohyun had left the house that day. She didn’t return during the night.

            Seulgi held her phone in her hands, in the exact same manner she used to when she would wait for Joohyun to text her that she got home safely. She tried counting, down from twelve hundred then back up then down from thirteen hundred and back up, an endless recall of numbers that meant nothing to her and only made her irritated. What was making her irritated, she didn’t know, but as she made her way into the living room, her mind was full of rationales for whether she should call Joohyun first and apologize or wait for Joohyun to reach out to her when she was ready. But it was difficult to do either, because they didn’t know who started the fight or who was in the wrong, and it wasn’t important, because it was stupid, she could swear it was, and what length of time was the right time for someone to be ready? Whatever that meant.

            The monolidded girl ruffled her hair in frustration and scrolled through her contacts, finger hovering over Joohyun’s name before heading down last minute to switch tabs and open up her social media. Seulgi promised herself that she’d just scroll through her feed and use it as a distraction, but her stupid mind brought her back to Joohyun as she looked through her friend’s older photos (of course all liked by Seulgi on her account), and Seulgi smiled subconsciously at the photo of Joohyun laughing. There were the photos they took at the mall, at the amusement park, at the ice skating rink. Pictures of the two of them facing the sun at the beach (she had to admit that her friend’s ass looked divine, but that wasn’t important, necessary, or productive to her inner conflict).

            Seulgi threw her phone aside and slung her arm over her eyes, leaning fully against the back of the sofa. She reasoned to herself: she had given herself plenty of reasons to not reach out to Joohyun; so what were the reasons she should? The girl got up and looked for a pen and paper, sitting back down on the couch to make a list. She rapidly wrote down her reasons not to contact her friend, realizing that although it was a long list, a lot of them were truly stupid reasons that were just coming from her own immaturity talking. She then thought about why she should contact Joohyun and once she wrote it down, she stared at the paper, more specifically at the one item she had listed under the reasons for reaching out.

            They had been together for over two decades and got over bigger things. The fight was started by something they couldn’t even remember, right? Why was she being a wimp?

            After much deliberation, during which her poor lower lip suffered a lot of gnawing, Seulgi picked up her phone to text Joohyun, only to be met with another obstacle: what was she going to say? She wanted to apologize, but somehow she knew that right now neither girl needed apologies. They didn’t even know why they fought, apologies wouldn’t help resolve it. She wanted to let Joohyun know that she was her best friend, and that she loved her and would stay by her side no matter what. She wanted to tell her that she would continue to be Joohyun’s greatest friend, to keep their promise at all costs. But she didn’t know how to say that in the way she meant to.

            So instead, she wrote something on the back of the paper she used for her chart, took a picture, and sent it to Joohyun. It was honest and true, and she hoped that Joohyun would know what she was talking about:

            ‘I’m always a little afraid of how the future is always just a possibility, and that there’s no certainty to it. We could drift apart as easily as we came together, and I don’t want to miss it, even if it doesn't end nicely for us. I want to be stuck in the present forever with you, and even if we do go our own ways, I don’t want it to be because we never considered it could happen, but because we knew the future is limitless and chose to make it as finite as possible.’

            She waited with bated breath, watching the little check mark appear beside her message, indicating that Joohyun had seen her text. Moments later, Seulgi found herself laughing as she saw the image Joohyun had sent her, the same manner of text written on paper.

            ‘No. Don’t be an idiot, you dense pickle. I’m always going to be by your side whether you like it or not.’

-------

            Seulgi peered at the front door from her spot on the couch, waiting for the sound of the keypad opening and the eight digit passcode to be punched in. 03290210. Their birthdays. Hopefully secure enough to not be robbed. Probably not a good choice for a password, although pretty lengthy.

            The thirty-year old pressed her palms into her closed eyes, sighing. Why was she so anxious? Joohyun said she would come home once she organized her thoughts, but it’d been two hours since she sent Seulgi that text and there was still no indication of her presence yet. Seulgi rolled over and splayed out onto the couch, teasing the idea of a nap while she waited for her friend to return. At least it would take her mind off of things.

            The consideration was quickly shot down, however, when she had closed her eyes only to hear the musical tones of the keypad and the sound of the door opening. She shot up from her horizontal position and met eyes with Joohyun, who just stood from the doorway, watching her. There wasn’t really an awkwardness about them, but neither girl really knew what to say, considering that this was a pretty monumental event in their relationship and being the first one to break the silence was somewhat nerve-wracking. Joohyun pressed her lips together and kicked off her shoes, heading towards the living room.

            “I come back home after a big fight, and I see you sleeping. Why am I not surprised?”

            With that, Seulgi smiled, realizing that Joohyun was waiting for Seulgi to tell her to sit next to her, the unspoken words clear through the telepathy they’d built over the years. Seulgi shifted on the sofa and patted the space next to her, grinning the entire time. Joohyun smiled back at her and restrained herself from prancing over to the couch.

            “I wouldn’t risk my beauty sleep for anything. You know that.”

            Joohyun sat down next to Seulgi and wrapped her arms around the taller girl, pressing her face into the crook of her neck. Seulgi shifted her position so that they could embrace more comfortably and dug her face into her friend’s hair, comforted by the familiar shampoo scent. They stayed like that for a while, holding each other as each girl murmured how much she missed the other, swaying gently to and fro as they described what they had thought about in the time spent apart from each other. The conversation drifted to different topics, so natural in its flow as it had always been,—whether their favourite constellations had changed, if the ahjussi at the arcade would still remember them, how they felt about their parents aging with each passing day—rocking themselves in their cocoon of warmth the entire time. Seulgi was Joohyun’s comfort and Joohyun was Seulgi’s longing, and nothing in the world could make them feel any differently.

-------

            “I still can’t believe you convinced me to come here.” Joohyun glanced at the vast hills before them. “You know I’m scared of heights, you asshole.”

            Seulgi crossed her arms and pouted. “Hey, at least I adjusted the item to paragliding instead of skydiving. Consider it a big sacrifice on my part.”

            The two friends had come to a paragliding place a few hours away from Seoul at the insistence of the younger girl. Both of them had taken a few days off from work, Joohyun now a team manager at her company and Seulgi working freelance as a commercial interior designer who was in high demand for her innovative ideas. They had moved to a bigger house closer to Joohyun’s workplace and went on trips more often, visiting places all over the country and even planning to go overseas sometime soon. Seulgi had pointed at Joohyun and called her a successful career woman, jokingly asking if she had plans of becoming a sexy CEO soon. Joohyun surprised her by telling Seulgi that she actually wanted to quit her job and write once she saved up enough.

            “Since we’ll have fifteen of our twenty items completed once we do this, I’ll take you out to dinner to celebrate. Not even thirty-one and we’re three-quarters of the way through our bucket list!”

            Joohyun frowned. “You’re not even thirty-one. I’m exactly that age, idiot.”

            “Not my fault you’re a grandma.” Seulgi stuck her tongue out.

            Joohyun punched her friend’s arm. “I’m going to tell your brother and both our parents that you called them fossils.”

            “That’s what you said.”

            “Mmhmm.”

            The instructor swung by and let them know that he would give them the training in a few minutes. A group of tourists had visited on the same day, so they were a bit busy, which Joohyun honestly didn’t mind, since she was dreading being in the air without anything to support her feet.

            Seulgi smiled at him and politely let him know that it was fine, placing her elbow casually on Joohyun’s shoulder. Joohyun shoved it off with a faux-annoyed face and watched as her friend talked to the instructor about their bucket list and how they were going to celebrate afterwards at a nice restaurant. Seulgi’s eyes were bright with a childlike excitement, and Joohyun felt herself smiling too, despite the anxiety sitting heavily on her chest. She tilted her head at the younger girl as the man left and Seulgi turned to her.

            “Hey, what’s up? You look like you wanna say something.”

            Joohyun blinked, vaguely noticing the tourists getting ready out in the field past Seulgi’s shoulder. She met Seulgi’s eyes. “What if I told you I love you?”

            Seulgi smiled and answered back without hesitation. “What if I told you that I love you?”

            It was very casual, nothing at all like the dramatic buildup of the Hollywood movies or k-dramas that they loved to watch together at home, cuddled up under blankets with bags of snacks scattered all over their coffee table. It was so plainly mentioned, as if their confession was a given in the midst of their years of denial and determination to remain as friends, nothing more, nothing less, just an honest curiosity that both girls seemed to already know the answer to without so much a second thought or doubt. There was no stilling of time or beautiful picture in which they stared into each other’s eyes with unspoken words of love. There was none of that sappy, anticipated atmosphere of romance in their world, a world in which they were standing atop a hill inside a building, waiting for the paragliding instructor to finish up with the tourists and start their training. It was just two best friends checking in with each other, making sure they were on the same page through all the seasons, through all the years and memories and uncertainties to come. An assurance that they would continue to stay by each other’s lives.

-------

            The paragliding experience was a lot less scarier than she had expected, Joohyun had to admit. But she didn’t tell that to Seulgi. She still wanted Seulgi to buy dinner in full as payback for waking her up early in the morning and springing the itinerary of the day on her in her half-awake state. She had barely had the wits to defend herself. A definite victory for the younger girl from the start.

            “Do you think we can pull off the couple discount thing again?” Seulgi looked over the menu. “They have a lobster, filet mignon lunch special for couples on weekdays.”

            Joohyun hummed, looking at the item Seulgi mentioned. “Good thing we coordinated outfits today.” Seulgi was wearing a black and red checkered blazer over a black jumpsuit, while Joohyun wore a similarly checkered, mid-thigh length skirt with a black turtleneck.

            Seulgi snorted. “Coordinated, my ass. My genius mind picked out your clothes while you were trying to wake up in the shower. Don’t take my credit, you idea thief.”

            Joohyun ignored her. “I call dibs on the lobster.”

            “I’m pretty sure we’re meant to share the dishes.”

            “Lobster.”

            “Can I have at least one bite?”

            Joohyun called over the server. “Fine.”

            They started off with a lighter style of Pinot Noir to accommodate for the red meat-seafood pairing and ordered some appetizers. The main dishes came pretty quickly, and the hungry friends sped through the lunch special, slowing down once they ordered dessert. Joohyun dug into Seulgi’s cheesecake while her triple chocolate mousse was on its way out.

            “So…” Joohyun started, pushing her treat in the middle so Seulgi could have some too. “Does the marriage deal we had still hold? The one in which we’ll get married if we’re still single by the time we’re thirty-five but not before then.”

            Seulgi licked her spoon before putting it down. “Well, we don’t know what’s gonna happen, so I’m holding myself to it.”

            Joohyun scowled. “Sure, do that and you have no chance of marrying me. Ever.”

            “Meanie.” Seulgi smiled at her. “Afraid I’ll take flight?”

            Joohyun shook her head, finishing her dessert. “No. But we already broke one promise; I don’t see why we have to keep this one either.”

            “I mean, we haven’t broken the first promise. We can be together and still be best friends.”

            “That’s not the same. I’m pretty sure the only best friends part was implied.”

            “Fine,” Seulgi huffed. “We’ll just make a new promise and override both of them then.”

            “New promise?”

            Seulgi reached over and held onto Joohyun’s hands. “Marry me, Bae Joohyun?”

            “Umm…” Joohyun raised her eyebrow. “Isn’t this too quick?”

            The server came by with the check and left with Seulgi’s card. After he returned again, Seulgi got up and held out a hand for Joohyun to stand. They walked out together, hands linked tightly.

            “I’ve known you for twenty-five years, seen you naked, lived with you, and been introduced to your family. What more do we need?”

            Joohyun stopped, smiling as she held Seulgi’s face between her hands. She pecked the taller girl’s lips. “Okay, fair point.” Seulgi pulled her in for another kiss and smiled at her lips. They looked into each other’s eyes and let the cool breeze wash over them in congratulations, carrying their joy to the corners of the earth and into the infinity awaiting them. Ever since they could remember, it had always been Joohyun and Seulgi, Seulgi and Joohyun, and they intended to keep it that way for as long as they were alive. Whether as best friends or best girlfriends.

           “So...when are we gonna send out the invitations?”