Work Text:
—
minjeong thinks there are certain moments wherein life is just pure shit—
like when she dropped a packet of large fries on her way back to their dorm.
like when she forgot her id one time back in middle school and she had to go back home to fetch it.
or when she dropped the iced coffee she recently got off the counter from her favorite coffee shop.
or—
like when she saw her locking her lips with him.
she felt like breaking down—
breaking down...
breaking down...
but it doesn't make sense, they're nothing but friends.
right?
so she did what she does best—run.
run from her problems and her feelings and two laps around that olympic size park. in her sweatpants and hoodie and her running pumps.
run from her conflicting emotions and let her lungs constrict in a painful way as oxygen burn her blood.
tasting iron in her mouth.
neverminding it's too early at four am, never mind that it's too cold out, never really minding the weather.
because jimin—the ever so gorgeous jimin, is locking her lips with someone who isn't her.
————————————
you're always looking for her.
looking at her.
and you don't admit it but you love the way she's getting flustered whenever she catches you staring.
you're thriving off of the giddiness she's expressing, like she's got a crush on you, but it's a top-secret (or she doesn't know it yet.)
you're always looking for her—at her, because she deserves to be looked at, stared at, and if it was up to you you'd flaunt her up in the middle of an art museum because she deserves to be worshipped like a century-old art.
but it was also up to you to cut everything that was going on between the two of you.
not that there's much—
(oh yes there is, but you're too dumb because you're minjeong)
and you thought ending this—whatever this is—would be best for both of you.
because what?
are you going to come out and tell everyone that you're head over heels in love with your best friend?
that you lived your nights tossing and turning in your bed because you're itching to knock on her door, kiss her senseless against her wall?
that you had to forbid your hands from slithering down your pants and touch yourself with the thought of her breath hitching in your neck, her body burning under your touches, her eyes heavy-lidded with lust?
—
the first time leaves you gasping for breath.
it had been months since you last tasted her lips, and you finally understand how addicts crave drugs because of the withdrawals you're having.
it makes your heart throb agonizingly—as if it's on the verge of breaking.
(it probably is)
and you inhale the bitter taste in your mouth of being inches away from her but never really able to taste her.
all-the-fucking-time.
she's your drug—
and you're insatiable.
so that one night after staying out late to shoot for your latest music video, you finally caved in.
she opens her door, eyes wide in shock because she never expected you'd come back knocking on her door again.
eyes wide in shock because she never expected your lips would meet hers again.
that her back will collide painfully yet bittersweet on her wall again.
that your fingers would soon find their way fiddling on her buttons again.
and more.
and more.
and more.
she falls down on her bed and you fall on top of her.
lips and tongue and teeth clashing in a messy exchange of moans and breaths.
your hands are everywhere, but hers was just gripping you tight around your waist, like she's afraid you're going to go away again.
hands gripping on your skin, murmuring please don't leave me again.
and you don't.
you stayed, worshiping her body with the reverence it deserves—
using your lips and tongue and teeth with her body underneath.
she moaned and you rolled your eyes as you fucking finally removed the last piece of her clothing.
she's breathtaking.
you stare at her and she looks at you, with eyes begging please don't leave me again.
you dove back into her lips, into her neck, into the valley of her chest as she pants on your neck and grips the back of your head.
she whimpers and you smirked when she lets go of that breath she was holding because fuck—
you drink her all up and as soon as she comes down from the high of you worshipping the valley between her thighs, she looks at you and whispers please don't leave me again.
and you held her tight, sleeping in her bed that night.
a silent promise that yes, you're never going to leave her again.
—
you stay awake the next night because you just couldn't sleep.
you've actually tasted her, and you initially thought you're going to be satiated once you finally did.
(oh you were so wrong, you don't realize you're on the road to madness)
you don't lock your door at night, and she knows that.
you can't sleep tonight, and she knows that.
she knows that because she's turning your knob open and she's locking it behind her, and you'd be lying to yourself if you will say you were not expecting this to happen.
she drops on top of you and kisses you hard—harder than all of your past kisses combined.
she nips on your neck and you're sure she's marking you, but you can't get her to stop because—oh fuck does that feel so good
she's taking off your shirt and you're taking off her pj's, and you both can't wait to get your skin touching as close as humanely possible.
you tried to pull her down so you can come back up, but she pushes you down because this way you can't leave me again.
she dips inside you and you rolled your eyes as you moan her name.
she moves inside you and you whimper underneath her gasping for air.
she kisses you hard and pins your hands above your head, whispering dirty things in your mouth.
she pins your hands above your head, saying this way you can't leave me again.
—
aeri looks at you suspiciously.
of course, you can't just cover her mark on you with your hair, so you had to wear a hoodie zipped up to your neck.
it's thirty degrees celsius outside.
and you're sweating hot.
are you okay?—yi zhuo asks, and you just nod because how can you not?
are you sure?—aeri adds, and you know she's not that dumb to know enough.
jimin comes out of her room smiling wide—a personification of radiating ball of sunshine.
aeri looks at you suspiciously
(and you hope she doesn't ask anything because you still don't know what is the answer to that.)
—
two weeks into your new setup and you think it's all going great.
you take her out on a mall date and you knew right on that it was one of the best decisions you ever made.
you watched as her inner child was summoned as she looked at everything with sparkling eyes—watched her as she goes on about things you never really even thought of twice.
it's her fault really, how can you focus on anything she's saying when your attention is with how her lips curve up and how her eyes turn into crescent moons and how her beauty mark near her lips seemed too tempting to kiss for you to actually care about legos and teddy bears.
so you smiled back and nodded even though you don't understand a thing she's saying because all you actually care about is you're with her, in that very moment, and she's smiling brightly at you.
—
that same night you knocked on her door but not for the reasons she was thinking.
no—you didn't come that night to bruise her lips with yours.
no—you didn't come that night to take her clothes off.
no—you didn't come that night to fuck her senseless.
you snuggled to her neck, just because.
you listened to her breathing—just because.
you slow danced with her in the middle of her room in the tune of how would you feel—just because.
~we got questions we should not ask but
how would you feel, if i told you i loved you?~
she chuckles in your neck after you spin her around, her body flushing perfectly with yours, as if they're made for each other.
(as if you're made for each other)
~it's just something that i want to do
i'll be taking my time, spending my life~
and as you hear her sigh contentedly in your shoulder, you knew right on that it was one of the best decisions you ever made.
~falling deeper in love with you
so tell me that you love me too~
—
yi zhuo stares at you suspiciously.
you're awfully cheery, unnie—she tells you. and you didn't realize that until she actually mentioned it.
you've been humming to one of your favorite ed sheeran songs for a while now and yi zhuo looks at you like you've grown another head.
what?—you acted nonchalant, because what are you going to tell her, really?
you're weird, unnie. good weird—she tells you, but doesn't stop her from staring you down.
you unconsciously smiled as you read the message jimin has sent you—it was nothing funny, it was a meme that's been reused too many times for you to actually find it funny.
but it's jimin, so it made you smile.
oh my god, what's wrong with you?—yi zhuo exhales in disbelief because you're minjeong, you don't just smile like a fool out of nowhere.
you locked your phone and looked back at her only to roll your eyes because if she points it out one more time, you're going to combust.
—
in one of your saturday night parties, yi zhuo made a comment about how jeno is dating a new girl now.
aeri looked at you, then looked at jimin, and you drink up your glass of cold milk because what are you going to say to that, really?
jimin shrugged it off, telling everyone how she never really liked him in the first place.
this made you smile, because then your unspoken question was answered—did she ever think of you while she's with him?
she glanced at you secretly, as if telling you how it has always been you.
—
things went downhill when your manager made a slight comment about how you're always looking at jimin.
it's an empty comment, just an observation with no hint of malice.
your manager tells you she can't blame you, jimin is really stunning not to look at.
but then the fears gnawing in your chest come back to the surface and you don't know how to deal with them again.
so you tried not to catch her eyes when she glances at you, tried to distance yourself when people are around you, and tried not to knock on her door at night even though you're dying to.
things went downhill because jimin was heartbroken with how you're acting.
you're indifferent and she's not happy about it.
you try not to think about how you know whatever you have is never going to work anyway.
that she's better off fucking a guy anyway.
but you don't say a thing—because the last time you did, you broke her.
you broke both of you.
—
you're acting indifferent with each other again and the other girls are noticing.
aeri looks at you suspiciously
(and you hope she doesn't ask anything because you still don't know what is the answer to that.)
—
she turns your knob open that saturday night and you wished she hadn't—
aeri is already in your bed interrogating you, asking you questions you can't possibly know the answers to.
jimin looked at both of you with eyes looking like deer caught in the headlights.
you've got to be kidding me—aeri sighs.
she stands up and leaves the room, looking at both of you, telling you to fix whatever the hell is going on.
aeri's right.
you've been fucking each other but you haven't been talking about everything else.
she flops down your bed, staring at your ceiling. you do the same.
she reached for your hand and puts it up, tracing your fingers with her own.
what happened to us, minjeong?—
but you don't know how to answer that.
what are we going to do now, minjeong?—
and you don't know the answer to that, either.
you never told her you're sorry for breaking her, and she never asked you to explain. it's all unfair, you know it, and yet you let the silence linger between the two of you as she silently begs to please don't leave me again.
i'm sorry—came hushed and unsure from your mouth, not because you're not really sorry, but because you're not sure if it's all too late.
she pressed her fingers on your palm and for some reason, it calmed you down.
i'm sorry too—she tells you, and you finally realized that this thing is a tango for two.
you braved it and faced her, looking into her eyes whose swirling galaxies and purple nebulas are found—she's heavenly.
what are we, minjeong?—came the question you've been dreading.
because yes, what are you?
friends, right?
but friends shouldn't be this confusing.
we're just friends—came your answer, and you knew right away it was the wrong one by the way she drops your hand.
she huffs—a loud one, and sits up staring at your door.
just friends?—her voice was laden with spite that it sent shivers down your spine.
really, minjeong, just friends?—it was rhetorical, yet you nod your head.
she huffed again, and you get flashbacks of her palm turning your cheeks red.
just friends don't kiss each other like that—she said, raking her fingers through her long, luscious hair.
just friends don't get jealous when the other is kissing someone else—she huffed again, irritated.
just friends don't dance in the middle of the room like they're on their wedding night—her voice drops down, and it sent chills all over your body.
just friends don't steal secret glances in a room full of people—she continues, like she's never going to stop anytime soon.
just friends, minjeong?—she paused, and you looked at her eyes silently wishing for you to never call her that again.
just friends don't fuck each other like that—and she storms out of your room and you finally realized;
friends shouldn't be this confusing.
—
you cut your hair short for your next comeback—that's what you tell everyone, but you did it because isn't that what girls do when they're broken-hearted?
you're a walking red flag and jimin never liked red—
but jimin likes you.
and you know you're already deep in love with her that you're willing to paint yourself blue if it meant getting her back again.
so you knocked at her door that night but not for the reasons she was thinking.
yes—you went ahead and bruised her lips with yours.
yes—you went ahead and took her clothes off.
yes—you went on and fucked her senseless.
but you were also there to stay—and this time, you finally talked.
you finally tell her you're never going to leave her.
you finally tell her you're in this together.
you finally tell her—
i'm head over heels in love with you, jimin.
because you know you're not just friends.
you're more than that, more than what you actually let on.
she cries on your shoulder that night because minjeong you pabo, i'm in love with you too.
jimin is your drug—
and you're insatiable.
—fin—