Chapter Text
Who wouldn’t be happy to be in their favorite anime?
Anyone whose favorite anime happened to be the following:
Tokyo Ghoul.
Parasyte.
Blood C.
Attack on Titan.
Etc.
The second episode of Attack on Titan honestly almost made you tear up. You hadn’t expected it to be as graphic as it was. But in comparison to other “gory” anime, it really wasn’t that bad.
“It really wasn’t that bad.”
Don’t let that phrase fool you. Sure, a lot of people have probably said that but in the end, it's still about ugly giant flesh eating monsters.
It may not make Top 10 Most Goriest Anime but that didn’t mean it was any less terrifying.
After seeing Godzilla as a small child, you had nightmares for a week and an irrational fear of giants tearing the roof of your house off and eating you. You grew out of it rather quickly as you grew older and it turned into nothing more than a silly story. At least that’s what you thought. Because here you are, sitting up in an unfamiliar bed, and in an unfamiliar room.
You were woken up by that same nightmare you once had as a kid. About a ginormous dinosaur picking you up from your balcony and bringing you closer to its wide mouth, guarded by sharp, yellow teeth – and yes, you still vividly remember the dream since the first time you had it.
Gripping onto the thin bed sheets as you try to steady your breathing. ‘It was just a dream,’ you repeat to yourself in your head. Your small freak out doesn’t last long when you finally look around the room.
It is definitely not your room.
You pause your thinking as you take in your surroundings, narrowing your eyes as if it would zoom in on the little things. From just looking at the walls, you can tell you’re in a cabin but that new piece of information does absolutely nothing to calm yourself down. If anything, you were starting to panic. Horrible thoughts come to mind in an instant. ‘Was I kidnapped?’
Kicking off the thin blanket, you quickly realize that you weren’t tied up. Thinking that human traffickers were on the other side of the room’s door, you figure you have no time to dwell on that.
Not only could you not handle gore that well, but you also happen to be the most paranoid person you know. So no doubt your mind is racing with the worst of thoughts.
You quietly rush over to the window and note that you feel light with every step. The sight of trees as far as the eyes can see is the last nail to the coffin. ‘Holy shit, I’ve been kidnapped.’
Your eyes continue to scan the area in desperate search of some indicator of where you are. Maybe if you were a bit calmer, you might’ve been able to feel the sense of familiarity when looking at the trees. Dread fills you the more you look out into the forest before something breaks the deafening silence.
Snapping your head in the direction you heard the noise, you realize it came from outside the room. Footsteps. Soft footsteps that were getting louder and louder, stopping just outside the door. You pull yourself away from the window and again look around the room, trying to find something to use as a weapon. Your search was in vain. Thinking on your feet, you throw yourself to the floor and crawl under the bed you had woken up in.
The bed skirt is so thin, it's practically transparent. However it allows you to see the door to the room opening. Allows you to see the bare feet walk in. ‘What kind of kidnapper walks around barefoot? Don’t they all wear heavy boots covered in dry blood splatters?’
A light laugh brings you back to reality. It’s a woman. You can tell by her small feet and laugh. “My silly girl, isn’t it too early to be playing hide and seek?” The voice isn’t at all what you were expecting. You’re taken aback by the lack of hoarseness. It’s soft and soothing with a tone of playfulness and amusement.
A loud gasp leaves your lips when the thin bed skirt is lifted up by slender fingers. Your hands come up to cover your mouth. ‘Stupid, stupid, stupid.’ If the kidnapper didn’t already know you were under here, they do now.
Nothing prepares you for what happens next. A kind face comes into view and when the woman meets your eyes, her face breaks into a beautiful smile. “Sweetie, get out of there. It’s dusty.” She reaches her hand out to you and you hesitate. Studying her face, you immediately recognize her. Her slanted grey eyes are framed by straight black hair that falls at the sides of her face.
You ignore her hand as you crawl out from under the bed. The woman is taken aback by your actions, she’s on her knees sitting on the back on her calves as you run right past her and out the door. ‘No no no, this can’t be happening.’
Your head swivels as you look left and right for something. Sunlight from the kitchen window reflects on a dish in the sink, catching your attention. You run up to it and pick it up, its water adds on to your already wet hands, damp with sweat. You hold onto the bowl as you look down in the sink. There's a larger bowl right in the middle and in the bowl, is water.
And in the water is your reflection.
Actually no, it isn’t your face you're seeing.
Another loud gasp escapes your mouth as you push yourself away from the sink and force yourself to look out the window.
You look at the trees.
You look at your small hands grasping the counter.
You look back down at the water.
You look back at your reflection.
You look back at slanted steel grey eyes.
Straight black hair framing your face.
But it’s not your face.
“Mikasa?”
You freeze at the name and take back what you said earlier; This is the final nail on the coffin.
“Mikasa?” the voice repeats. By now, the woman is standing by your side. A hand on your shoulder as the other presses against your forehead. “You’re not burning up. Are you feeling okay?”
You notice that you’re shorter than her and you’re at a loss for words. ‘This feels almost too real.’ You shake your head like it was an etch a sketch and it would somehow clear your thoughts.
It didn’t.
You’ve read so many reincarnation manhwas to know what was happening but you’re still incredulous. This isn’t possible. This isn’t real. The logical explanation is that this is a dream. But would you really have a dream within another dream? Sure it was totally plausible but that’s never happened to you before.
You could’ve shifted. The problem with that theory is that you’ve never shifted due to your fear of getting stuck and not knowing how to wake up. You could’ve shifted on accident? But that doesn’t make any sense. You have no clue how the whole thing works so even if it was possible, you highly doubt it.
Your thoughts are running wild as the woman – Mikasa’s mother, guides and sits you on the wooden dining table. Assuming she said something about you just being hungry since she’s now back at the counter, preparing breakfast.
Mikasa’s mother.
Your eyes bore into her back as she cooks.
This can’t be real.
Then why does it feel like it?
Is your life really turning into an isekai manhwa?
Because here you are.
In an unfamiliar kitchen.
In an unfamiliar cabin.
With a woman you only know to be Mikasa Ackerman’s mother.
And you just happen to wear Mikasa’s features.
You saw it in the water.
You see it now when you're twirling a piece of your now raven hair between your thumb and index finger.
This is real.
You are Mikasa Ackerman.
And that means you are in the woods somewhere in Shiganshina.
Which means you are in Wall Maria.
Which means you are in Paradis.
Which means you are in Attack On Titan.
Which means you are in your favorite anime.
Oh.
The realization kicks in and you fold over in your seat, throwing up on the table. The woman at the kitchen counter shrieks and rushes over to you. “Mikasa, what’s wrong? Do I need to call a doctor?” you can hear the worry in her tone as she rubs circles on your back. Her hand is warm. Her touch is just as soothing and soft as her voice and you can’t help but lean into her.
This place – this world is just as full with unfamiliar things as familiar ones. This feeling being one of the unfamiliar. The loving embrace of a mother.
“N-No… I’m alright,” you finally speak. Your voice is another unfamiliar as it reaches your ears. “I’m just really hungry.”
Relief washes over her face as she smiles another beautiful smile. “Then how about you clean up this mess you made while I finish breakfast.” you nod. She rubs your back one more time before getting up and returning to her place at the counter. You stand up to start cleaning up your vomit when you realize you have no idea where anything is.
You know you shouldn’t ask. So you don’t.
You’re about to make a move towards a door that you think leads to the bathroom when you suddenly think to check on something. Taking your gaze off the door, you look at the woman’s back. You walk up to her and she notices you and turns around – exposing her protruding belly. You stop, anxious of how you’re going to go about this. But if this is real then you need to be smart. You need to take risks. You need to step out of your comfort zone.
“...When will I get to meet my new sibling?” You almost stumble on your words, like you forgot how to construct basic sentences. She smiles once again, mistaking your shyness for the curiosity of a child.
“Soon. Are you excited to be a big sister?” She asks as she bends down to your height, her stomach resting against her thighs.
“Y-You shouldn’t sit like that! That’s not good for the baby.” You mentally slap yourself the moment those words leave your mouth.
“Ah, you’re right.” She sighs as she stands back up to her height. “Don’t worry about me, Dr. Jaeger should be coming by again sometime this week to make sure the little one is okay.”
Some –
– time
this –
– week.
You wish you heard her wrong but nope. You heard it clear as day. Yeah, Grisha had apparently visited a number of times but judging by how far along she seems, this visit could include a certain brunet boy.
A certain green eyed boy.
Your eyes widen. If this is real, if you’re really Mikasa, then that means –
You’re cut off by the cabin door opening and a booming voice, “Oh, you’re up, Mikasa! Ready to –” the voice that cut you off cuts off by the sight of your vomit that was still on the wooden table. “Did something happen? Are you three okay?” the man asks, concern now painted on his face.
“We’re all fine, dear. Mikasa just had a bit of an upset stomach.” the woman next to you explains. The man’s features visibly relax and his shoulders slump from their tensed position. He walks over to you and squats down, planting a gentle kiss in your hair. He stands back up to his full height and walks over to the woman, pressing a soft kiss on her cheek while his right hand makes its way down to rest on her stomach.
Another unfamiliar thing in this world; this sight.
“Are you excited to be a big sister, Mikasa?” Their faces beam at you. It takes you a second to realize they’re talking to you. It takes you a second to realize that you’re Mikasa and will have to get used to being called by her name. You don’t think you could get used to it. Swallowing the hard lump that’s formed in your throat, you pull your face into a wide smile.
You feel sick at the sight of gore.
You’re paranoid and pessimistic.
And to top it all off,
You are a horrible liar.
Maybe not at this very moment, but in this world, all of those things are crucial to your survival.
In a world full of human eating Titans, you’ll need to get used to the bloodshed.
In a world where death and uncertainty is at every corner, you’ll have to say goodbye to positive thinking.
In a world where everyone is an enemy, you’ll have to lie right through your teeth.
In a world where you are an Ackerman, you will have to persevere.
There are going to be a lot of moments where you’ll have to put on a mask and play pretend. This is one of them.
Mikasa Ackerman.
Of all people you could’ve been, you had to wake up as one of the most op characters in the anime. Not only that, but you happen to be nothing like her. Not as strong as she is. Not as beautiful as her. Not as brave.
It’s going to be a tough role to play but at least for now, you can take baby steps.
So when you look up to her parents, a smile on your face – you say, “Yes.”
And they believe you.
…
Pretending to be Mikasa is like going to school and saying you’ll act cold but then you end up laughing during the first period. How could you act like her when you could barely keep a straight face?
Surprisingly, you were quick to accept this as your new life. You know there’s no time to waste in a world like this. Your mind is constantly plagued with thoughts of the next ten years. You know exactly what’s going to happen in the next decade. You know how the story is going to play out. You have a lot of choices to make.
Do you sit back and let the original story unfold?
Or do you change the plot and save everyone from your all time favorite character?
Yes – “all time.”
You’re not ashamed to admit that if you had to pick between every single anime boy that you simp for, you’d pick Eren Jaeger.
Certified Jaegerist, if you will.
You mentally facepalm, ‘He’s 9 right now, don’t be weird.’
And then it dawns on you.
You’re going to meet him.
You’re going to grow up with him.
You actually slap yourself this time in an attempt to calm down. Everybody wishes for their favorite fictional characters to be real, but for it to actually happen? The way you two will meet won’t be the most ideal situation but it’s still a dream come true. And then another thought comes to mind.
How you meet.
Mikasa’s mother sits beside you at the wooden dining table as she teaches you embroidery. Mikasa’s father sits across from you, peeling potatoes. Embroidery was always something you wanted to learn but didn’t have the materials for. So you’re actually trying to pay attention and follow the woman’s instructions. However you were so engrossed with your thoughts that you pricked your finger. You let out an audible “ow” as you set down the cloth and needle and hold your finger.
“Let me see,” The woman sitting next to you leaves no room for protest as she takes your finger from your hand, examining it. The smallest bead of blood forms from the cut, not enough to trickle down but still barely noticeable.
“I’m fine, it doesn't even hurt.” You assure as you take back your hand and press the pad of your finger to your lips.
“There’s no need to coddle her,” The man sitting in front of you says, turning your attention towards him. “Our Mikasa is a big girl, right?”
“That’s right.” You pull your lips into a smile. A proud smile of his own is stretched across his face as he continues peeling the brown vegetable. You pick up the cloth and needle and look back to the raven haired woman. “May we continue?”
She blinks at you before laughing softly. The two of you get back to work and soon, you finish your first embroidered handkerchief. You look down at your handy work and smile proudly. It’s not bad for a first try. It’s a simple daisy in the middle of the cloth, with smaller ones surrounding it. Sunflowers and daisies are your favorite flowers and since you had no clue what to make, you settled on this.
“It’s beautiful,” the woman says, when you hold up the cloth to her. “Embroidery has been in the family for generations. When you have kids, you must teach them.”
Your smile drops. A sense of deja vu is coming in and suddenly you can’t breathe. You remember this scene. How could you forget. How could you forget – stupid, stupid, stupid.
Your grip on your handkerchief tightens when there’s a light set of knocks on the wooden door right next to the table. “That must be Dr. Jaeger.” The man across from you says as he stands up, heading towards the table. “Coming –”
“Wait!” You call out, standing up from your seat at the table.
You want to be selfish.
You don’t want the peace to be over.
You’re not ready for it to end.
You’re scared.
You’re trembling.
It feels like a heavy weight has been draped over your shoulders, making it even harder to breathe. Your chin quivers as anxiety racks your brain and stomach. You suddenly feel like throwing up again. You’ve had your fair share of anxiety attacks but nothing could’ve prepared you for one as intense as this one.
You’re at a loss for words. Torn between changing one of the many key events to the story or letting three innocent people die.
The plot is in your hands. You know exactly who’s behind that door and you can stop the next 5 minutes from ever happening. But the consequences were drastic and you’re unaware of the risks.
It’s sad to admit but in the few days you’ve spent here with Mikasa’s parents, you felt more loved than you ever did. It was warm. It was loving. It was beautiful.
And to think that it wasn’t even meant for you.
You don’t want to lose those feelings but it’s too late now.
The door is open.
The man you had wished to call your father now sits lifelessly on the floor.
The woman you had wished to call your mother is now falling to the floor.
And all you can do is stand there.
Until you’re not on the ground.
A fist connects with your cheek and the world goes dark.
The peace is gone.
Your safe haven is broken.
The warmth is gone.
It’s cold.
You hate being cold.
You never handled the cold well.
Your mind is drawing blanks. You’re trying to regain consciousness but nothing’s coming. You’re trying to make sense of your surroundings but the sharp coolness is all you can feel. It’s a tingling feeling stabbing at your skin like you’re a needle cushion. The pain doesn’t stop until you’re numb. The pain doesn’t stop even though you can no longer feel it – you know it’s there.
Darkness surrounds you. It clouds your vision, clogs your hearing, and steals your voice.
And instantaneously you’re in a room. At a table. In a chair.
Someone is sitting across from you. Her thin fingers are embroidering a small blue piece of fabric. Her head is down, watching how her fingers move. You’re in shock as you watch her work. Her hair is loose, falling in front of her face. You feel light here, wherever you are. Then she looks up at you. Grey eyes, almost black, meet yours.
“Mikasa?”
“Can you pass me the scissors?” You look down at the table and a single pair of scissors sit right in front of you. You fumble with it as you try to hold it before handing it over to her, blade in your hand, facing you. “Thank you.” She replies with a smile that doesn’t reach her eyes. Looking back down to cut a piece of thread.
“Mikasa?” You say her name again. She doesn’t so much as nod in acknowledgement. You call her name again to no avail. You hesitate calling for her a fourth time when she lowers her hands. A glint of sadness is visible in her eyes and she’s still wearing that same smile.
She sighs, “I’m tired,” You have no words – how should you react? Too scared to move as if you’d disturb the calm. The ravenette looks up at you, a sad smile on her face that makes your heart ache. “So… so tired.” Her voice trails off at the end as the corners of your vision start to fade into black. So many questions rest at the tip of your tongue but you can’t find your voice. You feel like you’re falling as the scene around you crumbles. Her dark eyes don’t leave yours and her expression never falters.
Her lips are moving but you can’t make out the words. She’s saying something to you but you can’t hear her. You try to reach out to her but your arms are glued to your sides. A new voice drowns out hers.
“Fight,”
Your hands finally move and fly up to your head. Your fingers are gripping onto the roots of your hair. The word echoes in your head when you’re finally able to stand up. Your body feels heavy. Hot tears replace the blackness crowding your vision.
“Fight.”
There’s the word again. You hear it a little more clearer as the ringing in your ears subside.
“Fight!” You hear your name, not Mikasa’s – yours.
You don’t know where you are but at the same time, you do.
You don’t know what you’re doing but at the same time, you do.
You’re not in control of your movements but at the same time, you are.
You feel the knife in your hand pierce the skin and sink through muscle. Another unfamiliar feeling from this world. You feel the cold. A not so unfamiliar feeling.
You feel blades of grass slip in between your toes and jab at the soles of your bare feet. An oversized coat loosely hugs your body and you’re outside. It’s dark. It’s freezing. You decide then and there that you don’t just not like the cold. You despise it.
Someone is standing in front of you and suddenly, the cold is a little more bearable. The person is wrapping a scarf around your neck, albeit in a weird way; in a way that the end of the scarf is somehow hanging off your head and now sliding down.
“It’s warm now, right?” You see shining emerald eyes stare into yours. A faint blush is spread across his cheeks. He looks a little awkward but the sight alone is enough to thaw your heart. An unfamiliar familiar thing about this world.
Eren Jaeger. You know him, yet you don’t.
In 10 years, this little boy is going to start the Rumbling.
And from what you know, Mikasa had the chance to stop him. You won’t make the same mistake. You know what you have to do. You have to swallow up whatever fears or doubts you were having the past few days. You have to woman up – you have to live up to the Ackerman name.
You have to give your all to live as Mikasa Ackerman and save everyone from the guy you simp for.
You won’t make the same mistake. You wouldn’t.
You have the advantage. You know exactly what’s going to happen in the next decade.
You’re going to change the plot.
Doesn’t hurt to have your favorite character fall for you along the way.