Work Text:
Ian remembered when he first understood that the smell of someone else was important. He was six, running a dangerous fever, and Fiona had just passed him off to the nurse at the clinic after walking miles to get them there. In his fevered haze he cried out for Fiona, needing the scent of comfort and determination. The nurse didn't smell like that, didn't smell like anything at all to him. They managed to settle him and get his fever down with Fiona sitting next to him, close enoughto smell her.
He could smell every one of his siblings. Lip smelled like cigarettes and opportunity, Debbie like flowers and stubbornness, Carl like gasoline and danger. Liam still smelled like a baby, a faint undercurrent Fiona mixed in too.
Ian remembered when he lost the scent of someone for the first time. Frank, always smelling of alcohol and deception, had headbutted him right in the nose, filling it with blood and blocking his ability to smell anything at all, but sitting beside the man he thought was his father a few weeks later listening to Lip declare otherwise as he read the DNA test, Ian realized he didn't have Frank permeating that sense anymore.
He asked what he smelled like once, of Fiona and then Lip on another occasion.
"You smell sweet, Sweetface." Fiona had told him, giving him a loving and protective hug and wrapping him in that smell he only ever identified as comfort.
"You smell brotherly." Lip said with a simple shrug, eyes on Karen Jackson as she made her way over to them from across the street.
"What does she smell like?" Ian asked, curious.
"I wish I knew."
Ian watched his brother take Karen's hand, watched them flirt and tease all the way to school. It hurt him to realize when Karen looked away from Lip, that his brother let the light leave his eyes until she looked upon him again.
Soulmates didn't seem to mean much to the Gallaghers. Maybe because Frank and Monica used being soulmates as an excuse for the destruction they leave in their wake. Fiona wasn't holding back for the sake of any soulmate, dating anyone she wanted. Lip, sinking deeper into denial, clung to Karen like somehow she could turn into his soulmate if he wished hard enough. Debbie still held out hope of meeting hers and living happily ever after. Carl still thought love was lame. Monica, drugged up out of her mind, twirled with Ian around the living room to too loud music, shouting into his ear how people like them deserved to be happy with their soulmate. The next day she left them all without a word.
It made Ian think. Would a soulmate really make him happy? He had sex with Roger Spikey, nose empty of any trace of him, but it confirmed what he already knew. He was gay. He kept it a secret, even from Lip. He started to keep a lot of secrets from Lip.
Mandy Milkovich didn't smell like anything to Ian, but she made his chest warm as she held his hand on the swings and promised to keep his secrets.
"I've always wanted a real boyfriend. Well, one I actually liked. Tired of getting fingerbanged all the time."
Mandy didn't like hanging out at her house so she was over at the Gallaghers all the time. She sat with Ian on his bed or on the couch, and they just existed together. Ian could tell her anything. As they watched Lip veer off in the middle of their walk to school to catch up with Karen, Ian thought again of soulmates.
"You think you'll ever meet your soulmate?" He asked. Mandy shrugged, watching her feet as she walked.
"I don't know. Doubt it."
Ian took her hand then and squeezed it tightly. She smiled at him and swung their hands the rest of the way to school.
By the end of the school year Ian realized he could faintly smell Mandy. She had sat herself on his lap during lunch and he had caught a strong fruity breeze as her hair whipped into his face. He held her extra tight for those few minutes before the lunch patrol yelled at them and she slid off of him, middle finger raised.
"I can kinda smell you now." He confessed, settling into the high of cheap weed as Family Guy played on the tv.
"What do I smell like?"
It took him some time to answer, his mind disconnected from the conversation. Eventually he got something coherent out.
"Nice. Like fruit. Like friendship."
They held loose, sweaty hands and laughed at the TV, loud and obnoxious.
It's summer now. Mandy still smelled like friendship, the scent sharp and satisfying in Ian's nose when she was near. He wondered if that would be enough for him, all his life, the smell of his family and Mandy.
"Thanks for coming with me. Every time I visited Mickey I'd get harassed."
"Good thing he's getting out then."
She snorted and pushed herself into his side making him stumble.
"Yeah for now. I'm sure he'll be back in soon."
They waited outside in the heat, tracking a head of dark hair as it weaved its way through fences and guards. Coming closer Ian felt his chest swell at the sight of his best friend's brother.
He was gorgeous in a way Ian couldn't describe. Nothing like Justin Timberlake or the men from the magazines he jerked off to. He was short but built in a way that made him look big and strong. He was obviously Southside in a way that made Ian's blood boil. He walked with confidence toward them, blue eyes squinting in the sun.
"Hey assface."
"Skank."
"You smell like barbecue sauce."
Ian laughed as Mickey gave Mandy a titty twister and the siblings verbally sparred. Taking a deep breath in to laugh some more he paused, the air catching in his lungs. He smelled it. Barbecue sauce. He searched frantically for a grill or a cookout inside or even a foodtruck near by, but no, the smell was coming from Mickey.
"This is my boyfriend, Ian." Mandy's introduction cut through Ian's epiphany. He struggled to smile as his heart beat up into his throat. Mickey eyed him, rubbing his nose absently.
"Whatever. Let's go."
Throwing his arm around his sister the pair set off leaving Ian to catch up. Compelled by the scent of barbecue sauce he joined them on Mickey's other side. He smelled happy, he smelled like freedom, he smelled apprehensive and wary. He smelled like barbecue sauce and sweat and threatened masculinity. He smelled. He smelled. He smelled. Ian breathed him in deep.
Ian had found his soulmate. He threw a gangly arm around Mickey's shoulders, bringing himself closer to the addicting complexity filling his nose. Mickey pushed him gently away and leaned closer to his sister. Ian didn't mind, he had caught one last whiff coming off Mickey as he did it, something he interpreted as "not here, not now."
But soon.