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“Zoey! Max! Are you in there?” Mo knocked furiously on the door of Zoey’s apartment. “I need to show you something immediately.” He continued pounding on the door relentlessly.
Zoey padded into the hallway, rubbing sleep from her eyes. Max followed behind her, his hair sticking up.
Zoey flung the door open.
“Mo it is 7am on a Saturday-” she stopped and stared, then looked at her friend quizzically. “Is that what I think it is? Max, am I seeing things?”
Max looked into a small pair of eyes, fur covering part of them. He reached out a finger, and was greeted by a tiny tongue.
“Well, Zo, if you are seeing a tiny dog wearing a Christmas sweater, then we are seeing the same thing.” Max looked at Mo. “Care to explain?”
Mo smiled broadly. “Zo, Max, I would like to introduce you to my new dog. I saw him on the pet adoption site and I knew I had to have him. He’s my Christmas present to myself. I picked him up last night. Isn’t he cute?” Mo scratched the dog’s head, causing a little bark to emerge from the pup.
“You got a dog?”
“Yes, Zoey, I got a dog. Why are you both staring at me like I’m crazy?” Mo reached out and touched Zoey’s chin, forcing her to close her mouth.
“It’s just…a tiny dog…wearing a sweater…” Max trailed off, gesturing vaguely into the air.
“Zoey, Max, I would like to introduce you to the Yorkshire Terrier Extraordinaire, Maximus Montgomery the First. AKA Max.”
“You named your dog after me?”
“Don’t flatter yourself, Richman. He was already named Maximus. I thought it was ironic since he’s so tiny. Oh, and you two make the same face when you’re confused, isn’t that right Maxie-boo-boo.” Mo brought the dog to his face, and puppy Max gave him a lick. “Let’s go home, my little fur-ball, it’s time for breakfast.” Mo turned and left, heading into his apartment.
Zoey closed the door and stared at her boyfriend.
“He’s right. You do make the confused puppy face.” She sauntered off towards the kitchen, leaving Max in the hallway. He finally regained his composure as he followed his girlfriend into the kitchen.
“Hey, Zoey, what the -”
:::guitar riff:::
—-
Zoey startled awake to the sound of knocking on her door. She looked at the clock.
3:13am.
“Max. Max, wake up. Someone’s at my door.”
Max sat up. “What’s going on?” he asked, confusion on his face.
“The door. Someone’s knocking on it.” Zoey whispered this, as if it would somehow make a difference.
They tiptoed towards the door, and Zoey opened the door a crack.
“Perry? What are you doing here?” She opened the door wider, and Perry stormed in. He stood in the kitchen, his back against the counter and arms folded across his chest.
“I need to sleep on your couch. Max is making it impossible to sleep.”
“What did I do?” Max said accusingly.
Perry looked at Max and rolled his eyes. “Not you. The dog. He’s all over the bed, puts his butt in my face, and then decides to sleep right on my neck. I haven’t had a good night of sleep since Tuesday. By the way, nice underwear. Are those Calvin Klein?”
Max flushed, and then the music started.
Perry began to sing in a smooth voice, hopping up onto the counter.
Say your prayers, little one, don't forget, my son
To include everyone
I tuck you in, warm within, keep you free from sin
'Til the sandman he comes
Sleep with one eye open
Gripping your pillow tight
Exit light
Enter night
Take my hand
We're off to Never Neverland
Perry jumped down from the counter, and headed over to the living room, dancing to the beat. Zoey leaned over to Max.
“Are you hearing Perry sing too?”
“Yes,” he answered. “A slowed down version of Metallica is an interesting choice. I never knew his voice was that good. It’s kind of making me question my sexuality.” He raised an eyebrow at Zoey, who smiled.
“I know. His voice is like butter melting on toast.”
Perry continued dancing around the living room.
Something's wrong, shut the light, heavy thoughts tonight
And they aren't of Snow White
Dreams of war, dreams of liars, dreams of dragon's fire
And of things that will bite, yeah
Sleep with one eye open
Gripping your pillow tight
Exit light
Enter night
Take my hand
We're off to Never Neverland, yeah, yeah
Perry laid down on the couch, his voice beginning to fade as the heart song ended.
Now I lay me down to sleep
Pray the Lord my soul to keep
If I die before I wake
Pray the Lord my soul to take
Max and Zoey snapped back into reality, and found Perry on the couch fast asleep. He was sprawled out with one arm hanging off the side.
Zoey laughed. “Is that…” she trailed off.
“Oh, I forgot we left him on the couch.” Max stifled his laughter as he witnessed Perry shift to his side, a muscular arm snuggling Daryl. He let out a small snore as Zoey covered him with a blanket.
She turned to Max. “I think that’s enough excitement for one night. Let’s go back to bed.”
—-----
“We need Tito’s, Jack Daniels, rum, tequila, tonic water, and.. MAX! Are you listening?”
Mo stopped watering the plants and looked at his business partner, who was engrossed with a spreadsheet. The dog was asleep on a pillow on the stage. Max didn’t look up from his computer.
“We also need a dinosaur, one bottle of Chanel No. 5 and an ax.” Mo stood with his hand on his hip, staring incredulously at Max. No response. Mo knew he had to take drastic measures.
“Ow, that’s cold!” Max jumped out of his chair as Mo doused him with water from a spray bottle. “What did you do that for?”
“Because I’ve been talking to you for the past ten minutes and you didn’t hear a word I said.”
Max looked sheepish.
“I thought you were talking to the dog.”
Mo placed his thumb and forefinger on his temple, closed his eyes, and mumbled “Jesus take the wheel.”
“Maxwell. Why would I be giving the dog our liquor order?” Mo glared at Max as he said this.
Max cocked his head and stared at Mo.
“Wipe that look off of your face, Richman. It’s the puppy dog look.”
—-
“Max! Slow down!” Zoey exited the elevator on the fourth floor, gripping the leash tightly.
The dog slowed down, tail wagging and head bobbing as he looked around the SPRQ offices.
“Yoooo….boss lady. What’s up with the dog?” Tobin was standing in front of her, arms crossed over his chest and a smile.
“Tobin, great, you’re here. Hold this.”
She handed him the leash, and then ran to her office, dropping her bag at her desk. Tobin’s eyes followed her, confusion written on his face.
Zoey skipped back and took the leash from Tobin. Tobin picked up the dog, receiving a little lick in return. He gestured towards the dog, his silence quizzical.
“Tobin, this is Max. I am watching him for a few days while Mo is away at a bartending conference. He is-.”
“Wait, the dog is named after your boyfriend?” Tobin started laughing, throwing his head back in glee.
Zoey glowered. “If you must know, Tobin, his name is Maximus and that is the name he came with. I didn’t name him.”
Tobin put the dog down on the ground, and he began sniffing around (The dog, not Tobin, why would he be doing that? Weirdo.) The programmers were gathering around to pet Max when suddenly, they heard it.
“Jingles! Jingles! Slow down my love!” Danny Michael Davis exited the elevator, as his pet ferret scurried across the floor towards the programmers.
Zoey squealed as she grabbed Max and raced to her office, locking them both in. Jingles headed right for Tobin, who couldn’t get out of the way fast enough. The furry little beast scrambled up Tobin’s leg and perched on his shoulder, pawing gently at Tobin’s hat. Tobin squeaked out a “help me” as Mac and the rest of the group fell to the floor laughing. Jingles began to sniff Tobin’s ear, sticking his tiny nose in as Tobin began to panic. He began to flail his arms as the ferret then pawed his hair, finally settling into the back of Tobin’s hoodie. Tobin looked like he might cry as he stood stoic and still in the middle of the bullpen.
Zoey watched from her office, and, to be honest, it was hilarious. Max was barking at Jingles, clearly affronted that this tiny little terror was getting all of the attention. At that moment, Jingles looked up, hearing the bark. He raced back down Tobin, leapt up the stairs, and stood by the door, trying desperately to get into Zoey’s office and attack Max. Maximus barked and whined, while Leif followed Jingles up the stairs to try to do some damage control. Then, they heard a bell ring.
“Jingles! Oh there you are my little love. Did you terrorize Tobin again? That’s a good boy. Here, have a treat.” Danny plucked the furball from Leif’s arms, and caressed him gently (again, the ferret, not Leif you weirdo). He walked away, leaving everyone in the bullpen dumbfounded.
Everyone except for Tobin, who was curled up on his desk chair in the fetal position, shaking and mumbling “I hate that little bastard” repeatedly under his breath. Even Mac giving him a kiss and comforting him didn’t help. Well, maybe a little.
But Zoey knew it was futile to get Tobin to focus again, so she sent him home for the day.
“Can I go too, Zoey? I need to comfort my boyfriend.”
“No, MacKenzie, I can read the euphemism behind this, and now you’ll have double the work to do because Tobin is going home.”
MacKenzie flopped back into her chair and sighed, sad that Tobin got a day off.
—-----
Max entered Zoey’s apartment, Maximus’ leash in his hand. They had enjoyed a nice walk while Zoey cooked dinner.
“Did he go?”
“Oh definitely. Not entirely sure how such a little dog can produce so much…” Max trailed off, shivering at the memory.
They settled in for dinner, with Maximus sitting next to the table, begging for scraps.
“I’m not giving you spaghetti carbonara. You will be gassy all night. No. Your daddy comes home tomorrow and he can give you whatever you want. Then you can fart all over him.”
Max smiled at Zoey. “Did you just chide the dog like a child? Might you actually be fond of him?”
Zoey winked (or maybe it was an awkward blink) across the table. “He’s not the only Max I’m fond of. And maybe…” she trailed her fingers up his arm “I can show you just how fond I am of you later.”
“Or now. Now works too.”
“Patience, Maxwell. We need to make sure Maximus is asleep first.”
An hour later, after another walk, the pup fell asleep in his bed in the living room, belly up and a stuffed ferret toy beside him.
Zoey was not asleep, but was definitely in her favorite belly up position on her bed, Max’s head between her thighs. He was currently doing that thing he did with his tongue that Zoey was so very fond of. She was relaxing into his touch when she heard barking from the living room. Max stopped his ministrations and looked up at Zoey.
“Does he need to go out again?”
“No, he should be fine, please keep going,” Zoey practically begged.
Max grinned and slid up to Zoey’s ear. “I like it when you beg.”
Zoey moaned as Max sidled back down her body, continuing with his task. She was getting into the groove, feeling warmth overtake her body. He was bringing her close to the edge when-”
“Woof woof wooooofffffff.” Maximus whined, and Zoey looked over towards the door, seeing the dog standing there, a look of desperation on his face. He was spinning in circles and running towards the door, barking the whole time.
Zoey groaned. “I guess I need to put some pants on and take him out.”
Max stood up. “I’ll go. You relax.” He winked at her as he dressed and took the leash.
Zoey laid there, frustrated. However, she did smile when she heard Max talking to the dog.
“You are such a cockblock young man. I am definitely telling Mo when he gets back tomorrow. Now, let’s go and do this so I can get back to that.” Max cocked his head towards the door, Zoey catching his gaze.
Mo was right. Max did get the puppy dog look when he was confused or frustrated.