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Dirk's Car Dealership

Summary:

dave, jade and the mayor try to prank dirk, and rose records it

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"You know, I don’t really think this is a good idea.." Jade crossed her arms against her chest, then raised one hand to straighten her glasses. "Uhm, Rose, why are you filming this, again?" 

"Pscyological collective case study. Also, it’s funny- shut up, just let me film." She zoomed in closer on Jade to highlight her perpetually-concerned/scared-face.

"Jade, I already told you, you’re the second tallest person who was available. Plus, despite being extremely clumsy, you have broad shoulders." Dave waved his hand dimssively and continued tending to Wayward Vagabond’s sash. What the three of them were attempting was rather treacherous. Some may even say "iditotic" or "the stupidest thing I think I’ve ever heard; when he slices Jade’s legs off and you guys fall and break your spines, I’m not taking you all to the emergency room." But those were the words of non-believers. The declarations of the weak and witless; they were unlike Dave and Wayward Vagabond, and also Jade, the narrator supposes, but she was peer pressured into this and very afraid.

"Rose, can you help drape the suit over us?" The aspiring psychologist zoomed out her camera to capture the entirety of the figure that now stood before her. A witch, a knight, and a disgraced Dersite pawn stacked on top of each other. 

"I mean, I can try.." She set the camcorder down on the seat she once sat in and draped the comedically large brown trench coat around them. Using a non-comeidally large ladder, she then buttoned it up, and tied a navy blue tie with the possible hexcode #2d2150. "There you go. Now go give an old man a heart attack. Good luck." 

"I thought you were coming with us?" Dave’s voice came out as only a murmur behind the canvas trench coat.

"No, I’m coming. I just don’t want to get involved too much, or else it’ll ruin the study. Just pretend I’m not there." She responded.

 

It was far more difficult than the three of them expected to walk all the way to Dirk’s Car Place, but the walk there was fairly brief, and Jade was surprisingly stronger than Wayward Vagabond and Dave expected. 

"I am going to buy a car today." Wayward Vagabond responded as they approached the car dealership, with Rose lurking behind them.

"I’m looking for Dirk?" Wayward Vagabond’s voice boomed as they entered the building. 

The prince cleared his throat and exited his office to behold the nearly thirteen-foot beast in front of him. "Dirk!" Wayward Vagabond exclaimed excitedly.

"That’s me." He responded nonchalantly. 

"I’m looking to buy a fine automobile from him." Wayward Vagabond stated.

"I just don’t trust anybody like that." Dirk crossed his arms.

Jade walked closer to Dirk so that Wayward Vagabond would not have to needlessly project his voice any longer, yet he continued to do so for reasons unknown to both her and Dave. "Do you have a friendly car? One that talks?"

"I don’t trust someone like that." Dirk repeated firmly.

"Wow, the Mayor’s getting really into character!" Dave exclaimed in a hushed voice to Jade as he sat on her shoulders under the trench coat.

"I guess, but I think the Mayor genuinely thinks we’re doing this to buy an actual car for the town.." Jade whispered back.

"I’m ready to buy, right now." Wayward Vagabond stated.

"Open that button." Dirk walked closer to three of them.

"I will not buy if you want me to get naked. I don’t feel like that’s appropriate-" Dirk interrupted Wayward Vagabond. "I’m not saying that."

"That’s not okay." Wayward Vagabond attempted to point accusingly at Dirk, but due to the sleeves of the trench coat being so long, it was ineffective.

"I don’t trust like that. Open that button." Dirk walked closer to the trio, causing Jade to walk backwards clumsily as she tried to avoid letting her friends fall or be discovered by Dirk.

"Do you have any skittles?" Wayward Vagabond asked.

"I don’t see how that question is really relevant to the situation.." Jade whispered. 

"Dang, he should change the slogan of this place to, "I don’t trust like that.’" Dave murmured back.