Work Text:
Because Everything Is A Battle Here
Unsurprisingly it started with yelling.
They were in some half lit back alley near the Kellogg's plant which always made the air smell unpleasantly like corn starch and gave Russ a headache. The F.B.I.'s stupid techno crap had lead them to a dead end (again) and he was pissed.
"The heat signatures matched this area." Milt said defensively. It was unreasonable that a grown man, who looked like an underwear model, should also be able to pull off the 'kicked puppy' expression. But somehow Milt managed it.
"Don't you even hear how ridiculous that sounds?" Russ demanded, backing his partner towards the brick wall behind him with a raised finger. "Heat signatures? Radio scan whatevers? That isn't real police work. No wonder we're out here at 3am with nothing."
Milt's back hit the wall and his hackles came up. "Nearly all crime has a digital factor nowadays and if law enforcement didn't keep up with that we'd be lost." He snapped.
Russ paused, the next part of his tirade momentarily forgotten. Milt was glaring at him and he had the insane urge to start laughing. He had been trying to push the Agent's buttons for weeks without success. Russ was honestly starting to wonder if Milt could get angry, like the man had some kind of brain defect that prevented him from being anything other than annoyingly cheerful all the time.
"What?" Milt demanded hotly, staring down at him.
Proving that he had been hit one too many times in the line of duty, Russ actually started laughing. He couldn't remember the last time he laughed about anything, but here he was cackling like a madman.
The anger on Milt's face quickly melted into genuine concern as he grabbed Russ' arms to keep him steady. "Are you alright?" He leaned down to examine his partner's eyes, clearly thinking he had been drugged or something.
"Do you think they give workman's comp for insanity caused by your partner?" Russ managed to choke out, forcing himself to stop having hysterics.
"Probably." Milt's handsome features lit up with a grin once he saw Russ was fine. "Man, how long has it been since you've slept?"
It suddenly dawned on him he was using his partner as a human kickstand. Russ had his fingers wrapped around the younger man's biceps and was standing way closer than was actually necessary. But as Milt had an equally tight grip on his arms Russ couldn't step back, even if he wanted to.
"Don't know. Nearing the 48 hour mark though."
Milt chuckled, a movement Russ could feel in his own chest. "No wonder you're acting like this. You need to go to bed."
"Like I'd listen to anything you'd tell me." Russ said wryly meeting his gaze.
For a moment neither man said anything. It was as if the realization that they were alone in a dark alley, pressed against a wall, with their noses almost touching, was suddenly settling over the pair of them.
On an impulse born of sleep deprivation, and his own long history of poor judgment, Russ leaned forward to slot his lips against Milt's. The Agent stilled in surprise, breath hitching. Then he smiled against his mouth and tugged Russ closer. The whole thing was a bit of a mess, which fit since they were normally trying to kill each other every other day.
He had Milt pressed against the cool surface of the brick wall with the weight of his body. Something the younger man didn't seem to mind in the slightest if the way he was kissing Russ back was any indication. His fingers explored the contours of Milt's chest while his partner pulled their hips closer together.
Slowly they broke apart, breathing heavily.
Russ took in Milt's uncharacteristically rumpled appearance, even his normally perfect hair was askew. It was a sight he could get used to. "Oh crap."
Milt started laughing.
From: [email protected]
RE: The Odd Couple
Milt and Russ seem to be getting along better. I saw M helping R into his coat before the left which was odd. You think R is trying to get more info out of him?
From: [email protected]
RE: RE: The Odd Couple
!!! You saw what? Because I saw them talking and SMILING over crappy chinese takeout in the break room yesterday. Russ doesn't even smile at people he likes.
To: [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Something Really Weird
Something really weird is going on here guys. I went to drop off those files for Milt last night and since I didn't get off tell like 5am I was going to just drop them at his door. EXCEPT I spotted Russ leaving. Guys he was leaving the man's apartment at 5am after he told us he was going home to bed O_o
To: [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], [email protected]
From: [email protected]
RE: Something Really Weird
Everyone get on IM
Holly: Why do we have IM?
Erin: Because we're old.
Erin: Are you sure it was Russ??
Aaron: Yes
Fontanelle: I knew it
Erin: $50 to me!!
Nib: What are you saying
Holly: We don't know it's that
Nib: What?
Aaron: He was wearing jeans and a t-shirt
Aaron: It was 5am
Nib: No…. They hate each other
Erin: lol You know what they say about love and hate
Fontanelle: Hahaha
Holly: Omg Milt and Russ tho? Maybe it's raining in hell
Erin: I know! How did Russ manage to land a sex god
Erin: waaay out of his league
Holly: Russ is good looking
Fontanelle: Not *that* good looking
"Wake up asshole, your phone is ringing." Russ grumbled into his pillow.
"You're very rude in the morning." Came Milt's muffled voice somewhere to his right.
He sat up, eyes automatically running over the man laying next to him, looking more like a Grecian statue than Russ knew what to do with.
"I'm always rude."
Milt made a noise of assent which earned him a whack from the pillow. The call was left to go to voicemail as Milt proceeded to relieve Russ of his weapon by way of tackling him onto the mattress. They quickly got tangled in the sheets and each other, and Milt was able to pin Russ' arms above his head.
"Considering where my knees are you've left yourself open to serious injury." He pointed out, pretending not have any reaction to their current position.
"That would be your loss as well." Milt distracted any further discussion by sealing his mouth with a kiss. It was a very effective way to shut Russ up.
They had been together for nearly two months - something they had done their utmost to keep secret from the office - and still Russ couldn't quite wrap his mind around the idea. Good luck and (dare he say it) happiness weren't really common factors in his life. So being wanted by someone who was the closest thing to a perfect human being he had ever met seemed rather impossible.
Maybe that was Milt's one fault: he had really bad taste in men.
"You should probably see who called in case it was the President or something." Russ said finally.
"Don't be silly, the President doesn't have my number."
"He's the President he probably has everyone's number."
Milt groaned in annoyance and rolled off him to reach for the phone on the night stand. As he listened to the recording, Russ got up and went in search of his pants. He really needed those if he was going to get to work on time.
Russ was busy catching up on paperwork when Holly came running into the precinct.
"Milt's been shot!"
He probably broke every traffic law known to man on the way to the hospital - but that's what sirens are for. Milt had already been taken into surgery by the time he got there. And Russ was very close to breaking something more corporeal than a law.
"What happened?" Russ demanded when Erin, Fontanelle, and Aaron came jogging in the glass double doors after him, with Holly who he'd basically abandoned in the BCPD lobby.
"He was talking to one of his informants when someone did a drive by on the pair of them." Erin said. Her tone was calm, but he could tell she was worried.
"How badly?" Russ asked seriously. He was trying not to panic.
For a moment no one seemed to want to answer.
"How badly?" He repeated.
Russ was coming to the overwhelming and poorly timed conclusion that he needed Milt. He needed him to be okay, he need him with him, he need him to be the ridiculous idiot who made pancakes on Saturday mornings while forgetting to wear a shirt.
Russ needed Milt because he was the sort of moron who fell in love with his partner.
"He took two to the chest." Fontanelle said. "I'm sorry." His expression was alarmingly close to sympathy.
Holly patted him arm. "It's Milt, he'll pull through."
Russ was stuck on the image his mind had created. The scene of two slugs slamming into Milt's body and him falling brokenly to the pavement. And Russ unable to do anything about it.
"You all know, don't you?" He said hollowly.
"We're detectives."
When Milt's eyes fluttered open in the ICU 16 hours later, Russ was waiting in the chair beside his bed.
"I'm going to yell at you over this." He said thickly with a smile.
Milt chuckled tiredly and took his hand. "I love you too, you know."