Chapter Text
This past year really fucking hurt.
Sicheng had learned how it feels to hurt in ways that he had never hurt before. Crying alone in his room, in the darkness, until he had no more tears left to cry, until his eyes were red and dry. Lying on his bed for what felt like days at a time, staring at the wall, at the ceiling, unmoving. Like the world had left him behind. The feeling of an intangible pain that couldn’t be cured with any medicine, a pain that existed beyond the physical body that ate away at his heart.
Trying to listen to happy music had only made him angry. Listening to breakup music only exacerbated his sadness.
Stuck in an endless cycle of pity and regret, he went about his days mechanically. Had ignored the desperate pleas from his friends to let them in, rejected their offers to try.
Kun 哥 . 9:03pm.
are u there? pls answer me, im worried
dj_xiao. 1:13am.
sicheng pick up!!! why are u ignoring meee
u down to league tonight?
Jimin Yoo <333. 11:01am.
hey sicheng
i know ur still not feeling well but i havent seen u in so long :-(
minjeong and i are doing dinner and the movies on friday… lmk if u wanna come
i miss u
Weeks went by with his phone turned off or on silent. Summer turned to fall. Leaves changed colour, fell lifelessly to the ground. He felt bad about shutting his friends out. But he didn’t have the energy to do anything other than mope like the fucking loser he was and wallow in his own self-pity.
Because Lucas Wong broke his fucking heart.
At first, he was charming, dazzling, the only thing in the world that mattered. The day they first met, Sicheng instantly felt drawn to him, like a fly to light. If Lucas wasn’t working in finance, he could be a runway model. He had walked out of his office building wearing a seamless cerulean blue suit, perfectly tailored to his tall and proportioned body, adorned with a red tie and shiny black shoes and a million dollar smile. Pulled Sicheng in tight for a hug to the smell of his masculine scent and expensive cologne, a touch of his hardened body. Lucas was a gentleman in uncommon ways, opening doors for him, paying for his drinks without asking, kind to service workers. He had a small town charm. He had a stable job. They had great conversational chemistry.
But like his mother used to say: a candle that burns twice as bright, burns half as long. And his once kind and gentle disposition had gradually melted away to reveal someone cold and impersonal. That had begun to treat Sicheng like a sex object, with little to no regard for his emotions. Over time, he no longer felt like Lucas saw him as his own person, but simply as one of many boys whom he had fucked. A faceless caricature.
By the end of their relationship, Lucas had turned into a man that Sicheng no longer recognized. Before, he meant the world to him; now, he wished he’d never known him at all.
Sicheng knew that Lucas was cheating on him, with multiple guys. At first, he didn’t want to accept the signs, so he blamed himself. How could someone that was so perfect be so flawed? Sicheng must have been doing something wrong. He must have been too boring for him, too basic. He should have agreed to go out to parties with him more often. Or maybe Sicheng wasn’t as cute as he thought he was. Maybe he needed to go to the gym and get a better body. Maybe he needed a better job. Maybe he was the one that needed to change.
And maybe Sicheng did change, for better or for worse.
But after a year of trying, he had had enough. Once they finally broke up, it took months for Sicheng to recover. The pain came in ebbs and flows - on some days he felt almost normal. On other days, the memories flooded his conscience, which was debilitating. In time, he came to realize that the pain never truly went away. No, it was always lingering in the back of his mind, like a stubborn sore that would never heal. But Sicheng didn’t want it to go away, nor did he think it ever would. He wanted the pain to be there so that he could remember how Lucas hurt him. The scars left behind were an essential reminder that he had been burned.
Eventually, the pain subsided enough for him to move on.
By then, the last days of autumn had blown through the city, replaced by the frigid stillness of winter.
★ ★ ★
“Just a feeling! 느낀 그대로 말해
Think about it! 주저하지마~
Just be waiting! 이젠 준비가 됐어
너를 내게 줘, 내가 갖겠어~”
Sicheng carefully places the chunky microphone down on the coffee table in front of him and takes a sip of his complimentary lemon-tea. The hot beverage immediately soothes his overworked vocal cords, and he revels in the feeling of hot liquid passing through his body. Neon strobe lights continue to flash aggressively across the small room even after the music stops. Sicheng contemplates turning them off.
High score. 93 points! An automated voice announces from the television.
“Your pronunciation has gotten better,” Karina nods with her lips pursed, taking a seat next to him.
“Thanks,” Sicheng smiles. He’d never tried to learn Korean himself, but picked up quite a bit from his obsession with Korean dramas (they were the only thing he allowed himself to watch while he was recovering from the breakup), and eventually got good enough that was able to memorize most of the words from his favourite songs. S.E.S. was an older group that he wasn’t entirely familiar with, but Karina sang their songs often enough that he could almost sing them himself.
She browses the song menu with a huge and cumbersome remote as he finishes his drink, pressing furiously against the keys that were sticky from years of use. She scrolls through music lists from various countries, spontaneously adding songs into the queue. “Do you wanna sing in Chinese?”
He shakes his head. “I think I’m gonna take a break.”
“Okay, what’s bothering you?” She furrows her brow. A concerned expression starts to emerge on her face. “You never used to take breaks at noraebang. Is everything alright?” She asks, eyes scanning Sicheng’s face. It was hard to hide what you were feeling from your best friend, and Sicheng wasn’t one to conceal his feelings. “You’ve been acting funny all day.”
“I’m just feeling a little under the weather.” He rests his elbows on his knees, loosely clasping his hands together in front of him.
“Let me guess. Boy problems?”
“It’s not always about a boy!” Sicheng protests.
Karina narrows her feline eyes. “But it is.”
“Maybe.”
She laughs and puts her microphone down, letting the instrumentals for their queued songs play by themselves in the background. “So tell me,” she says, cupping her face in the palms of her slender hands. “Is it about Lucas again?”
It’s been almost half a year since Sicheng broke up with him, but he still flinches a little at the sound of his name. He knows it wasn’t her intention to trigger him - he was the one that was acting moody, after all - but the sound of his name still ignited something in him. They had loved so hard, and hated so hard. There was no way that he wouldn’t be sensitive about it, even if several months had passed.
“Come on, answer me,” she flips a long bundle of silky black hair behind her shoulder, exposing her sharp collarbones.
“I think I’m just feeling a little lonely.” The holidays could do that to people. With a partner, it felt like everything was meant to be celebratory of your personal relationship. As if the lights, the music, and even the snow falling from the sky was meant to be symbolic of your love. Being single, it felt like everything in the world was trying to spite him. Like the sky was insulting him by snowing. Was it the endless onslaught of capitalist messaging that made people feel bad for being alone around Christmas time? Or was his perception just coloured gray from his own breakup? Perhaps it was a bit of both.
She looks down for a moment, but meets his eyes once an idea pops into her mind. “I’m going to a New Year’s party on Saturday night,” she suggests softly, putting a gentle hand on his shoulder. “It’s going to be a big house party at Minjeong’s condo. We’re going to do drinks and hit up a club after. I’d love for you to be there.”
Minjeong was a mutual friend from college. Sicheng wasn’t as close with her as Karina was, but they’d often studied together since they were in the same major and had a lot of classes in common. He still had vivid memories of their study sessions out at the campus library or at their favourite cafés across the city during exam season. He didn’t talk to her that much anymore, not as much as he’d like to. At least on social media, it seemed like she was always either partying, on vacation, or out with friends.
“I don’t know,” Sicheng shifts a little in his seat. “It’s been a while since I’ve gone to a party. I feel like I don’t know how to talk to people anymore.”
“And that’s exactly why you should go! There'll be cute boys,” she says in a deliberately enticing tone meant to pique his interest. “We can go together.” She winks.
Sicheng wasn’t entirely comfortable with socializing in a big crowd, even before the breakup - he wasn’t as extroverted as she was - but if it wasn’t for Karina dragging him out, he wasn’t sure if he’d have as many friends as he did. And maybe she was right. He couldn’t sulk forever. Maybe there would be cute boys. It would at least take his mind off of Lucas.
“Okay. But I can’t promise I won’t vomit in Minjeong’s toilet again like last year.”
She laughs and hits him playfully on the shoulder, just in time for their next song.
☾
Just a feeling, say that you like it
☾
“I feel like a male escort.”
Karina rolls her eyes. “You look hot. And you can thank me later.” She’s standing directly in front of him, knees slightly bent and her face mere inches away from his, meticulously styling his hair. She carefully places a single lock of gelled hair over his forehead, transfixed on the area directly above his line of sight. “There,” she steps back, admiring her work. “Take a look.”
She spins him around to look in the mirror. At first, he doesn’t recognize his own reflection. “Wow, I’m… How did you…” He steps closer to inspect his face. “Thanks,” he finally manages. He’d never worn much makeup before, but the subtle eyeliner she’d put on him made his angular, almond-shaped eyes even sharper and more feline, like Karina’s usually were. A slight touch of tinted gloss made his full lips feel so much smoother, and his face appear so much more alive. His hair, normally unstyled, was perfectly fixed into place with gel. Karina had also picked out an outfit for him - a sleek black look from head to toe. Black velvet pants, a tight-fitting black leather top, black boots, and gold accessories all over: gold earrings, a gold chain necklace, and rings on almost every finger.
“Get in closer. Let’s take a selfie.” She stands next to him, right up against his shoulder, and snaps a picture of their reflection in his body-length mirror. Karina rarely wore anything other than black, but for tonight she wore nude pumps and a tight fitting leopard-print dress that hugged all her curves, deliberately showing off her hourglass figure.
Sicheng always knew that he liked boys. He’d had his first crush in first grade, and even though his path to self-discovery and acceptance was long and hard (pun intended), he eventually got to a place where he was finally comfortable with himself.
If sexuality was a spectrum, then Sicheng figured he was completely on the gay side.
Even though he could appreciate the beauty of a woman, he was certain there was no sexual or romantic attraction there. He’d never had a girlfriend, never went on a date with a girl, and never even kissed a girl. And it’s not that he didn’t like women. He loved women, just in different ways. Hell, his best friend was a girl. He just... preferred the touch of a man.
Sicheng had come out to Karina halfway through undergrad, which was an important turning point for him. After that, he decided to be open with every new person he’d meet from that point forward, and by now his sexuality was pretty widely known among their friend groups. Fortunately, most of them had been cool enough about it that it didn’t affect his friendships with them too much (with the exception of a few assholes that gradually distanced themselves from him - not that he’d want anything to do with them anymore anyway).
Even though it wasn’t anyone else’s business but his, them knowing made Sicheng feel more at ease with himself.
And more importantly, gave them the opportunity to help him solicit some dick.
“Aren’t you going to be cold?” Sicheng asks before they step out the door of his apartment.
She laughed. “That’s what the alcohol is for.”
When they arrived at Minjeong’s building, the party room was already packed. They had heard it before they could see it - even from outside, the bass from the unapologetically loud music reverberated faintly in Sicheng’s chest. Today was the one night where none of their neighbours would or could complain about noise. Last year, one of her neighbours had tried, but the concierge only shrugged. It’s New Year’s, he’d said.
“You guys made it!” Minjeong greets them at the entrance. The last time Sicheng saw her, she was rocking a short black bob. Now, she had long, honey blonde hair that seamlessly transitioned into a blue ombré at the tips. “Sicheng, I haven’t seen you since we graduated,” she pulls him in for an embrace. He gets a strong whiff of sweet smelling perfume that reminds him of cotton candy. “How have you been?”
“Alive,” he smiles. “It’s nice to see you, too.”
She leads them in and Karina and Sicheng hang their jackets by the door.
Dozens of people filled the dimly lit venue, old and new faces alike. Girls wearing dangerously revealing outfits and impossibly high heels snapped pictures while seated salaciously on the couches, and posed in front of various gold and silver New Year’s decorations and balloons scattered around the room. If the guys weren’t standing in circles talking about stocks or sports, they were huddled around the makeshift beer pong table drinking and cheering, or up to some drunk shenanigans. He just barely manages to avoid a guy running around the room while piggybacking one of his friends, both with cheeks flushed red.
He’d be rocking his own Asian glow in a minute (he was a lightweight).
Before he could even get to the bar to pour himself a drink, Sicheng bumps into a few old friends from college. Ten, his old roommate, was now working as a professional dance teacher at a new studio downtown, and offered Sicheng a free spot in his new K-pop choreography course if he’d be interested (Sicheng happily accepted). Between screams and giggles, he catches up and takes a bunch of selfies with Ningning, who he knew from the Chinese-American Student’s Association. And when he finally makes it to the bar, he takes a shot with Hendery, who he and Karina had met years ago during frosh week, now working at a big tech startup that turned out to be not too far from his place. We should grab coffee sometime, he’d said before they traded numbers and downed a shot of tequila.
Sicheng was worried that he’d lose his footing in a social setting after having isolated for so long, but his concerns are quickly dispelled as he’s reminded that despite everything he had gone through, he was still blessed with great friends.
After a few more drinks, Karina pulls him toward the beer pong table. “Let’s play,” she smiles, gently tugging him by the wrist.
He puts his red cup down at the bar and lets her pull him away.
At this point, Sicheng had lost count of the number of shots he’d had. Six? Seven? Eleven? Karina probably drank even more, but he didn’t have her tolerance. Regardless, they’d been playing beer pong for years as partners. With years of experience from college parties on their side, they’d smash whoever went up against them - as long as he didn’t pass out first.
Standing across the table was Mark, one of their juniors from college, who’d since graduated. “Nice to see you guys!” He rubs his hands together, a sly smile growing on his face. “Winner gets bragging rights. And the opportunity to not have to drink this,” he gestured to a huge, suspiciously coloured cup of alcohol sitting in the middle of the table. It looked like it was bubbling, but Sicheng was too tipsy to confirm.
“What the fuck is that?” Karina asks, not trying to hide her disgust.
“I don’t know,” Mark laughs. “Johnny made it. Which means it probably tastes like ass.”
After a moment of deliberation, they concede. “Fine,” she says with her nose scrunched. “You got a deal.” She crosses her arms after evaluating their odds. “Are you playing alone? Sicheng and I will demolish you in a 2v1. You know it.”
“Nah, my friend’s joining me.”
Mark taps someone on the shoulder and a tall, handsome guy that looks to be around Sicheng’s age turns around and steps up to the table, standing almost a head taller than Mark and his shoulders almost twice as broad. His skin was even paler than Karina’s, and his cheekbones just as high. And yet his strong jaw and masculine features gave him a tough appearance. His mesh shirt looked like it was two sizes too small, perhaps intentionally, as the fabric was pulled taught against his chest and arm muscles. Even if wasn't as tight as it was, the thin mesh did little to conceal his body underneath. Sicheng tried his best to keep his eyes from drifting down.
“Hi,” he says in a deep voice, husky yet smooth. He gives them a curt nod, hands placed coolly in his pockets. “I’m Jaehyun.” Even though the room was dimly lit, his face seemed to be glowing. Deep dimples formed in the hollows of his cheeks as he smiled.
It’s been a long time since someone was able to take Sicheng’s breath away.
“Karina,” she says coolly.
A few seconds of silence pass before she nudges Sicheng in the shoulder. “Oh, um,” he squeaks. “I’m drunk.” I mean, he coughs, “I’m Sicheng.”
Jaehyun laughs, and his deep voice sends shivers down Sicheng's spine.
Like a cruel joke, it’s at that moment that the alcohol finally kicks in, and all at once. Perhaps it was the shock of Jaehyun’s beauty that tipped Sicheng’s buzz over into drunk territory. Or maybe he had actually been drunk all along, and it was only a glimpse of those dimples that gave him a few seconds of lucidity. Regardless, time and space became a blur. Sicheng feels the warm flush in his cheeks. He tries his best in beer pong, but his aim isn’t as good as he wants it to be, probably due to some combination of the vodka and tequila shots catching up with him (he knew he should have never trusted Ten to make his drinks) and Jaehyun’s dazzling good looks affecting his cognition. He feels like he’s moving in slow motion, despite his best efforts to control his body. Luckily, Karina is able to pick up his slack.
Even though Mark’s aim wasn’t the best (he was as drunk as Sicheng was, or maybe more), Jaehyun more than made up for it - he didn’t miss a single cup. He was so good that Sicheng wanted to accuse him of cheating even though there was no way that was possible.
Life certainly wasn’t fair. Handsome face, hot body, and good at beer pong? Fucking hell.
The game eventually devolves into a stalemate between Jaehyun and Karina.
They’re down to their last cups, one each, and it’s Karina’s move. At this point, a small crowd of curious onlookers had gathered around them, cheering loudly for either side. She ties her hair up into a high ponytail and steadies the ball in her hand.
“Here goes nothing,” she kisses the ball, leaving a deep red print of lipstick on its surface. It’s a beautiful throw, but just barely misses the edge of Mark and Jaehyun’s last cup. “Fuck!” She yells, clenching her hands into fists.
Jaehyun throws the final ball without hesitation, making a satisfying sloshing sound as it splashes in the beer of their last cup. “And that’s game,” he says smiling. At that moment, Sicheng swears that he’s looking right at him. Sicheng holds his gaze and worries he might faint.
Mark cheers wildly at their victory. In a flurry of limbs, he hugs, chest bumps, and pummels Jaehyun with his fists seemingly all at once. Jaehyun only laughs, keeping his cool disposition, seemingly unaffected by the friendly fire.
The next thing he knows, the suspicious looking cup of red drink was placed in front of him.
“I can’t believe we lost,” Karina says, putting her hands on her hips. He was looking at her when she said it, but the sound of her voice didn’t match the movement of her lips. “This isn’t fair,” she whines. “Sicheng’s drunk as fuck.”
“Not our fault,” Mark smiles. “Now drink up.”
That’s the last thing Sicheng hears clearly before he’s truly fucked up.
☾
Think about it, don't hesitate
☾
Fortunately, Sicheng sobers up a little on their way to the club. He broke the seal before leaving Minjeong’s place, and Karina had also forced him to drink a cup of cold water before they left, which helped a lot (even though he still needed her help to make it into their Uber without fatally slipping on ice).
“So how’s your night going so far?” Minjeong asks. They were sharing the ride with Minjeong and her friend Wonyoung, who resembled a living doll more than a human. The driver pulls out onto the road without a word.
“Not bad,” Karina says nonchalantly, eyes not leaving her phone. Her KaTalk notifications had been going off every few seconds since they’d stepped in the car, probably in response to real-time gossip about who’s getting with who, which of the girls’ outfits they liked and which they hated, or about how Mark accidentally walked in on Joy giving a blowjob in the bathroom after she had apparently forgotten to lock the door behind her. Her thumbs moved across the screen at breakneck speed, switching from chatroom to chatroom and typing in Hangul faster than she could speak. Sicheng wouldn’t be surprised if sparks started to appear at her fingertips.
“How about you, Sicheng? Anyone catch your interest tonight?” Minjeong raises her eyebrows expectantly. The corners of her lips turn upwards into a smile, betraying her intentions.
“Um,” Sicheng pinches himself, trying to speak coherently through his semi-drunken haze. “The guy we were playing beer pong with was pretty hot, I guess.” I guess was a fucking understatement.
“Mark?” Minjeong asks incredulously. He couldn’t tell if she was being sarcastic.
“No, not Mark,” he scoffs. “The hot one.” His eyes widened. “Wait no, I mean-”
“Damn!” Minjeong shouts, holding in her laughter. “So Mark isn’t hot. Got it.”
Wonyoung shrugs. “Can't say I disagree.”
Sicheng smacks himself on the forehead at the unintended implication. “That’s not what I meant!” He protests. Knowing Minjeong, this would get back to Mark before the end of the night, though there’s a pretty good chance that they would all forget about it by the morning. He makes a mental note to buy Mark a drink later anyway. “I fucking love Mark.”
“Fuck him,” Karina pouts, at last putting her phone down. “I’m still salty the little brat beat us at beer pong. He was hard carried.”
“Oops,” Sicheng says cutely. “Sorry. That was my bad.”
“Not your fault,” Karina shakes her head, “even if you were drunk, I missed that last shot.” She flashes him a reassuring glance. If Karina was one thing, it was loyal.
“So who is it?” Wonyoung chimes in. “The guy you thought was hot.”
“Who else?” Minjeong says, almost immediately. Glossy lips grew into a smile of satisfaction during her moment of realization. “It's Jaehyun Jeong.”
The sound of his name causes something in Sicheng’s chest to shift. It was like his name alone was capable of increasing his heartbeat.
“Ah,” Wonyoung nods, as if it were the most obvious answer in the world. “Of course.”
“You guys know him?” Sicheng asks, almost a little too eagerly. It seemed like the obvious answer was yes since he was clearly invited to Minjeong’s party, but it’s entirely possible that he could have been a friend of a friend since the party was open invite. He didn’t seem to talk to the people Sicheng was talking to, either.
“Uh, yeah,” Minjeong responds matter of factly. Of course. Minjeong Kim knew everyone. “Interested?” She blinks.
“Sicheng can handle himself,” Karina says flatly. Before Minjeong or Wonyoung could come up with anything to add, she swiftly changes the topic to who Joy was sucking off in the bathroom (even though she already knew the answer - Karina was always among the first to know anything). The subject successfully diverts their attention away from Sicheng, eager to engage in the gossip. Joy’s little bathroom escapade was no doubt tonight’s hot issue among the girls. But Sicheng knew that Karina created the diversion so that he wouldn’t feel pressured to make a move tonight if he wasn’t feeling up to it.
It wasn’t Minjeong's fault for being curious - she didn’t know that Sicheng was dealing with the aftermath of a bad breakup. But maybe she was onto something.
Regardless of what Sicheng was going through, Jaehyun Jeong was undeniably attractive.
That was the word Sicheng was searching for. Undeniable.
☾
Just be waiting, now I’m ready
☾
After a few more minutes of arguing over Joy’s skill level at performing fellatio, their Uber pulls up to the designated club. They were among the last to get there, having left a bit later and subsequently caught in a random bout of traffic on the way due to the snow.
The night was still young. Fortunately, they were still able to beat most of the New Year’s crowd that quickly gathered behind them in line from sheer luck. Minutes after they’d arrived, the lineup to their club and others closeby started to extend around the block. While waiting in line, Sicheng peered into bars exploding with activity across the street. Girls laughed heartily with their friends while their boyfriends smoked next to them. Men in baseball caps cheered while drinking overflowing jugs of beer. Young couples kissed in the falling snow, their hot breath visible in the cold air around them.
After a few minutes in the cold, they reached the entrance of the club and easily passed the gruff-looking bouncer standing guard out front (a ratio of one guy to three girls was always an easy pass). They exchanged their jackets for personalized tickets, which Karina gave to Sicheng to keep in his pockets. The music inside was even louder than at Minjeong’s place.
They squirm their way through the crowd to the center of the dance floor. Sicheng looked enviously at the parties with a table for themselves, safely insulated from the crowd, though he knew it cost hundreds of dollars to reserve (not to mention the bottles that they’d inevitably order on top of that). To some however, that bill was spare change (Sicheng wouldn't be surprised if Hendery had actually gotten a table for him and his friends). Sicheng’s income as a part-time Starbucks barista could never.
By now, Sicheng had receded into a comfortable level of drunkenness. But the deafening music and artificial smoke clouded his senses, gave him a high without drugs. Blended synergistically with the residual alcohol pulsing through his veins and the heavy smell of alcohol in the air. Karina and Sicheng quickly lose Minjeong and Wonyoung in the crowd. He turns around to see if they were still trailing behind them, only to come face to face with group of girls that he couldn’t recognize. One of the girls looked expectantly at Sicheng, and she looked really pretty, and maybe he would have danced with her, but he wanted to stay with Karina. There was only one problem with that, though. He could no longer find Karina’s head of long, black hair in the throng of people around him.
Something touches his hand before he could panic.
He finds himself being pulled into the dancing mass of people. But it’s loud and dark and the hand that tugs him isn’t hers.
The hand is thicker, drier, pulling with a force that could only be from a muscled arm.
And just like that, Sicheng finds himself in the middle of the dance floor with Jaehyun.
How did he find him in the crowd? And in the darkness? It didn’t matter. It didn’t matter because Jaehyun was looking at him with deep set eyes, and a subtle smile that made Sicheng’s heart stop, and Sicheng could swear that he saw Jaehyun lick his lips in a brief flash of light. It didn’t matter because Jaehyun looked way too fucking hot to be real with his slicked back hair and the muscular curves of his arms and pecs, lewdly visible beneath his mesh top. It didn’t matter because Jaehyun pulled him close and danced with him, close enough that Sicheng’s body was pressed right up against his, fabric brushing up against fabric, Jaehyun’s muscled body unbearably hot and sweaty and tactile against his.
And it didn’t matter because Jaehyun was already leaning over to whisper in Sicheng’s ear.
“I think you’re really cute,” he says in a low voice. The music was still blasting at an ungodly volume, but Jaehyun’s voice was clear as day.
“Thanks,” Sicheng mouths. If he was smiling, he didn’t know it.
“Dance with me.”
So he does.
They dance, and they dance, and they dance, and it feels ephemeral and eternal at the same time. Jaehyun’s touch is fleeting, flirtatious, like a cool breeze, and yet it leaves burning spots all over Sicheng’s skin wherever he touches.
His large hands grab Sicheng’s thin waist and Sicheng wraps his arms around Jaehyun’s broad neck, just barely encircling his broad shoulders. They pull each other together like opposing magnets. Their bodies melt into each other's embrace, Sicheng's thin and lithe form neatly fitting into Jaehyun's wide, muscular frame like a matching puzzle piece. Sicheng had a dancer's body, smooth and slender. Jaehyun's body was just as smooth but hard and rugged, covered in lean muscle. Sicheng could feel the outline of Jaehyun's abs pressing against his flat belly, the hardness of his chest against his. The hands that seemed to grip his waist tighter and tighter with each passing second.
Sicheng sways his hips with the music and meets Jaehyun's eyes in the dark. There were dozens of people around them, hundreds even, but Sicheng could only focus on the man standing in front of him. The man that had smashed him and his best friend at beer pong just hours prior, with that smug smirk on his face. Sicheng could tell that this was a guy that didn't like losing. He would get what he wanted. Luckily for him, Sicheng had a pretty good inkling that they both wanted the same thing and to Sicheng's surprise, he would give it to him.
He doesn’t know if he turns around voluntarily or if Jaehyun spins him around. All he knows is that his back is to Jaehyun now, and Jaehyun’s pressed up against him from behind, grinding him, undulating his hips, rocking his body to the beat. And the sweet, sweet friction is up against Sicheng’s ass. Sicheng smiles like a madman, and in that moment, he might even have laughed. He was enjoying this, more than he’d thought. So he relished it, savoured the touch, and the feeling, onlookers be damned.
“I'm sorry I beat you at beer pong,” Jaehyun whispers in his ear from behind.
And this time, Sicheng does laugh.
Sicheng pulls out his phone. Before he could even say anything, Jaehyun enters his number into it.
“Call me.”
The DJ abruptly stops the music and announces that the New Year’s countdown would begin in a minute. The club lights increase in brightness just ever so slightly for its patrons to find their bearings, and Sicheng has a clearer view of the room. By pure chance, he meets Karina’s gaze, not too far away. She winks at him. He smiles.
“30 seconds!” The DJ yells. The crowd screams.
Sicheng turns to Jaehyun instinctively, but Jaehyun’s already staring back at him.
10!
9!
8!
7!
6!
5!
4!
3!
2!
1!
Happy New Year!
Jaehyun pulls Sicheng in for a kiss.
Sicheng smiles into the kiss, and melts into Jaehyun's hard body. He feels Jaehyun run his hands down his back, sending chills down his legs and into his toes. Not too long ago, he was being a mopey sack of shit. That already felt like a lifetime ago. Karina was right. Sometimes, all you needed after a bad breakup was to meet someone else that you liked for different reasons, someone else that could ignite something new in you. Remind you of who you are. It didn’t matter that Sicheng was broken, because Jaehyun was putting him back together.
They stand there, kissing, long after the music resumes.
“You're so fucking hot,” Jaehyun says breathy voice, after finally separating.
“What are you gonna do about it?” Sicheng smiles.
Jaehyun leans in. “I want to fuck you.”
Now that was a New Year's Resolution that Sicheng could definitely achieve.
☾
Give me your all, I’ll take you in.
☾