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There are a lot of things Alex loves about his dorm room.
It’s a single, to begin with, because his drums technically count as an anxiety aid and therefore he qualifies for a room that can fit them without having to pay extra for not having a roommate. Thank you, student accessibility services.
Second, it’s situated in the perfect location. Julie and Flynn are three doors down, Reggie and Bobby are directly upstairs, and Luke’s apartment is only a ten minute walk away. The rest of them will be moving in with him eventually, but they all wanted to at least experience dorm life.
Third, and most importantly, Alex’s neighbor is the most beautiful person Alex has ever seen in his life. He hasn’t talked to them aside from the very first day of move-in, when they came barreling down the hall on a skateboard with boxes completely blocking their view and basically tackled Alex to the ground. Accidentally, of course.
They had apologized profusely and told him that their name is Willie, that he uses he/they pronouns, and that he would take Alex out for a coffee sometime to make it up to him. All Alex had to do was knock on their door when he had some free time, and they’d set it up.
It’s been two months, and Alex has not knocked on their door.
It’s not that he doesn’t want to, it’s just that he’s an anxious mess at the best of times and when you throw a demiboy with gorgeous hair and a perfect smile into the equation, all remaining rational thought gets thrown out the window.
At first it was just plain nerves about approaching a pretty person for what may or may not have been a date. Then, the longer he drew it out, the more awkward he thought it would be if he finally did it. So, for the past two months, all he’s done is exchange polite—if a little awkward— smiles with Willie whenever they happen to pass in the hall, and hope that Willie doesn’t hate him for it.
The first change comes after Luke makes a fool of himself at Julie’s Halloween party. He’s not even drunk, as most people tend to be when making fools of themselves, because Luke Patterson doesn’t need any kind of influence to be the dumbest he can be.
Which is how Alex ends up dragging Luke back to his dorm room for a change of clothes, because Luke is covered head to toe in apple cider and giggling like an idiot.
“This is a new low for you,” Alex sighs as he fishes his keys from his pocket. It’s a difficult task, considering he’s dressed as Peter Pan, and so his keys are tucked into the spandex tights.
“You love me,” Luke grins.
“Can’t remember why right now,” Alex grumbles. He finally gets the keys out, only to immediately drop them as Luke leans his full weight onto him.
“You looooove me,” Luke coos.
“Luke, come on.” Alex shoves him away and bends over to grab the keys.
“Oh, hey, Willie!” Luke chirps.
Alex shoots back up faster than he’s ever moved in his life. Willie has just emerged from their room, dressed as Tinker Bell and gaping at Alex and Luke.
“Um,” Willie says, “hey, Alex’s…” His eyes rake over the two of them. “Boyfriend?”
Luke laughs as Alex chokes on air.
“No,” Alex asserts. “Absolutely not. This is my friend Luke. Just a friend.”
“Best friend,” Luke says, slinging an arm over Alex’s shoulder.
Alex immediately pushes him off and tries to wipe off the cider his idiot of a best friend smeared on his costume. “Dude, gross!”
“Oh,” Willie says. “Well, I’m Willie. But I guess you already knew that. Somehow.”
“Alex talks about you a lot,” Luke says. Alex elbows him, but he plows right on. “Hey!” he chirps. “You guys match!”
“Yeah,” Willie says, a small smile playing at his lips. “I guess we do.”
Alex answers that with a very eloquent, “Uhhhh.”
“I gotta go,” Willie says. “But I’ll catch you later, Alex?”
“Uh, yeah,” Alex breathes. “Later.”
Luke chooses this moment to take pity on him and unlock the door for the both of them. Why he couldn’t have done that five minutes ago, Alex has no idea.
As soon as the door shuts behind them, Alex turns to glare at Luke. “I hate you so much right now.”
“No you don’t,” Luke says as he starts rifling through Alex’s dresser in search of a pair of sweatpants.
“I do.” Alex flops down onto his bed and drapes his arm over his eyes like a forlorn Disney princess. “I’ve never hated anyone more.”
“Not even Flynn when they—“
“We don’t talk about that,” Alex shrieks.
Luke gives him a cheeky grin. “Relax bro. Maybe now you’ll finally let him buy you a coffee.”
“I think the time limit on that offer has passed,” Alex sighs.
“You never know,” Luke says. “Did you see how jealous they looked when they thought I was your boyfriend?”
“Clearly they can’t be into me if they think my standards are that low.”
A balled up shirt smacks Alex in the forehead, and of course it can’t be one of his clean, dry shirts. Nope, it’s sticky and cider covered, and now Alex kind of wants to tackle Luke, but that would result in even more cider on his body. He settles for lobbing a pillow at him instead.
“Go shower, jerk,” Alex grumbles.
Luke shoots him a wink, then slides out the door.
Hopefully Willie will just forget this whole night ever happened, like Alex wants to.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Willie does not forget that night.
Two weeks later, Alex happens to leave his room just as Willie is coming back to theirs, and they greet him with a smile and a “Hey, Lost Boy.”
Alex sputters for a moment, looking around to see if they’re talking to someone else. The hallway is empty.
“Uh, hey, Tink,” he says back, and despite how stupid it sounds it draws a delighted giggle out of Willie.
“Did you get your friend all sorted out?” they ask.
It takes Alex’s flustered brain a second to comprehend that they’re talking about Luke.
“Yeah,” Alex says. “Yeah, he, um. He’s fine now.”
Alex hates himself more than he hates Luke. Luckily Willie’s smile stays plastered on their face.
“Good,” Willie says. “I’ll catch you later, Lost Boy.”
They retreat into their room leaving Alex kicking himself for once again making a fool of himself in front of the prettiest person he’s ever met.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It’s 2 AM, and Alex regrets ever going to college. All he wants to do is sleep, but his final paper in his music business class is due tomorrow morning, so there won’t be any rest until it’s done.
He’s usually not awake this late. He’s been pretty good about avoiding all nighters. That’s why it gives him pause when he starts hearing a sound through his shared wall with Willie that he’s never heard before: Willie is crying.
It’s more than crying, actually. It sounds like they’re having a nightmare, with loud shouts that Alex can’t decipher thrown in between sobs. Alex freezes, unsure of what to do.
Then there’s the sound of something hitting the wall, which kicks Alex into motion. He grabs his keys and pads over to the room next to his, knocking lightly on the door.
“Willie?” he calls, hopefully quiet enough not to disturb their other neighbors.
Funny, he thinks. He’s put off knocking on Willie’s door all these months, and here he is finally doing it without even thinking about it. Look at him, being brave.
And look at the universe deciding that he can’t be rewarded for that bravery, because it’s not Willie who opens the door.
“Nick?” Alex asks. “What are you doing here?” He only knows Nick through friends of friends, but he had no idea he even moved in the same social circle as Willie.
“What are you doing here?” Nick parrots back.
“I live next door,” Alex says, pointing over his shoulder at his room. “Are you and Willie…?”
Nick frowns at him, confused, and then his eyes widen. “No, we’re not together. He’s my best friend.”
“Oh,” Alex says. “Are they alright? I heard crying, and something hit the wall.”
“It’s just a nightmare,” Nick says softly. “They kicked the wall. I have it handled. Sorry if it woke you up.”
“No, I was up working anyways,” Alex says.
A whimper comes the room behind Nick and Willie cries out Nick’s name.
“I have to go,” Nick says. “Thanks for checking on them, Alex.”
“Yeah, of course—“ Nick is already gone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Are you going to talk to him about it?” Julie asks at lunch the next day.
“Should I?” Alex asks. “It kinda feels like an invasion of privacy.”
Julie shrugs. “Maybe just ask if they’re okay? Like you were going to last night?”
“Maybe,” Reggie suggests slowly, “you can use it as an excuse to finally go out with—“
Alex throws a balled up napkin at Reggie before he can finish. “No one asked you.”
“Jokes on you,” Reggie says, unravelling the napkin. “I needed another napkin anyway.”
“Dude!” Bobby swats the napkin out of Reggie’s hands. “Alex used that!”
Reggie shrugs. “I’ve been sharing food and stuff with Alex for years and he hasn’t given me any diseases yet.”
“That’s not—“ Alex cuts himself off with a sigh. “Okay. So what do I do?”
“Just start by talking to him,” Julie says. “You don’t have to go all in on the nightmare thing right away. Just say hi.”
“Right,” Alex breathes. “Yeah. I can do that. I know how to talk to people.”
“Do you?” Bobby asks. “You’re not doing a great job of it right now.”
Alex shoots him a glare and stands up to throw away his trash. “Tonight,” he decides. “I’m gonna talk to them tonight.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alex does not talk to them that night.
To be fair, he tries. He gets back to his room at the same time as Willie comes back from the showers and opens his mouth to say hi, but Willie gives him an unreadable look and scurries into their room.
So, mission unsuccessful. But at least he tried.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“You should have knocked!” Luke insists at rehearsal the next day.
“They clearly didn’t want to talk!” Alex argues.
“They were probably embarrassed,” Reggie says. “I bet Nick told him you came by.”
“Exactly,” Luke says, “so you should have told him there’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”
Alex groans and pulls his hood up over his eyes. “Can we please just rehearse?”
“Yeah,” Julie says, “but for the record, I think they’re right.”
Alex counts them in to “Finally Free” to avoid any further conversation.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Willie avoids Alex for the next two weeks. Alex tries to talk to them many times, but the farthest he ever gets is, “Hey, Willie,” before Willie finds some way to disappear. Eventually, Alex decides to take the hint and stop trying, as much as he doesn’t want to.
By the time winter break rolls around, Alex hasn’t even seen Willie in three days. Alex figures he left earlier for break; that, or he’s gone out of his way to specifically not be seen by Alex. Alex chooses to believe the former.
Alex, on the other hand, is staying late. He’ll be going to the Molinas’ for Christmas, of course, but he wanted a few days to himself to breathe and decompress after finals. He loves his chosen family more than life itself, but right now he’d rather die than share Luke’s pullout with Reggie and Bobby or suffer the anxiety of helping Ray hang lights on the roof.
No, the nearly-empty dorm building is much more peaceful, and Alex is going to soak up as much of that peace as he can.
He’s just showered and changed into his pajamas on the first night of break when there’s a soft knock on his door. Alex groans and gets up to answer it.
“There’s a sign on the door, it says I’m approved for late stay—“ He stops when he sees not the RA he was expecting, but a very startled Willie. “Oh!” he says. “Willie, hey. Sorry, I thought you were another RA trying to kick me out.”
Willie blinks, then breaks into a small smile. “How do you know they didn’t send me as an inside agent?”
Alex glances down at Willie’s feet. “Because I don’t think fluffy frog slippers are the appropriate footwear for throwing people out of buildings.”
Willie laughs, a blush tinging his cheeks as he scuffs said slippers against the floor. “That’s fair.”
“So what’s up?” Alex asks. “I haven’t seen you in a while.”
Willie’s smile vanishes. “It’s, um. I—“ They cut themself off with a sharp shake of the head. “Never mind. It’s stupid. Sorry.”
They turn to leave, but Alex grabs their wrist.
“Wait,” he says. “It’s not stupid. What’s wrong?”
“It’s—“ Willie closes his eyes and lets out a long sigh. “I was wondering if I could hang out with you for a bit? I— I know you know about the nightmares and usually Nick is here to help me with them but he already left and I don’t know anyone else who’s still here—“
“Willie,” Alex gently cuts off their rambling. “You can totally hang in here. I don’t mind.”
“Are you sure?” Willie asks.
“Totally,” Alex nods. He steps back to allow Willie space to enter the room. “I’ve been wanting to talk to you for a while, actually.”
“Really?” Willie asks. He looks around Alex’s room, and Alex tries not to feel too observed.
“Yeah,” Alex says. “You can sit up on the bed, if you want, sorry it’s kind of a mess in here.” His desk chair is currently occupied by the suitcase he’s been slowly packing.
“Dude, you should see my room,” Willie giggles. They hop up on the bed and sit cross-legged at the foot of it. Alex sits across from him near the pillow.
There’s a moment of semi-awkward silence, Willie still looking around while Alex picks at a loose thread on his comforter.
Suddenly, they both speak at the same time.
“Why’d you want to talk to me?”
“Why have you been avoiding me?”
They both blink, then let out awkward laughs.
“Sorry,” Willie says. “I, uh, I was embarrassed, I guess. I didn’t think you’d want to talk to me, after…”
“I wanted to tell you you shouldn’t be embarrassed,” Alex laughs. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“Oh,” Willie says quietly. “Thanks.”
“No problem,” Alex shrugs. “Will you stop avoiding me now?
“Yeah,” Willie chuckles. “Can I ask you something, though? How come you never knocked on my door?”
Alex rubs at the back of his neck. “I, um, I’m a pretty anxious person? And so I kept overthinking it and then the longer it went on the weirder I thought it would be if I finally knocked.”
“You’re wired kinda tight, huh?” Willie asks, a small smirk playing at his lips, and Alex laughs. Willie gestures to his drum set. “Is that why you started playing drums? To help with your anxiety?”
“Yeah, pretty much,” Alex says. “I mean there’s no better way to work out your problems than wailing on some drums, right?”
Willie studies him for a moment, their thumb rubbing at their upper arm. “Show me?” he asks.
“You want me to play for you?”
“Yeah,” Willie nods. “I mean, I can sort of hear you, like, all the time through the wall—“
“Oh my god,” Alex groans. “I’m so sorry. I have these soundproof blankets that I thought would stop me from bothering you.”
“Alex,” Willie cuts him off with a giggle. “You didn’t let me finish. I was going to say you sound really good and I want to see you in action.”
“Seriously?” Alex asks.
“Yeah!” Willie scoots closer, jutting out his bottom lip and hitting Alex with the most adorable puppy eyes he’s ever seen. “Come on, please?”
“Okay, okay,” Alex relents, because that puppy dog face is somehow even more powerful than Luke’s. He gets up and takes a seat behind his drums. “Uh, this is from my band’s song ‘Now or Never.’”
Alex starts into the intro, Willie’s watchful eyes causing him to feel self-conscious in a way he never is behind his drums. Soon enough, though, the music takes him over and his whole body gets into it. He nearly forgets Willie is there until he hits the last beat and looks up to see Willie staring at him, mouth agape.
“Dude,” Willie breathes. “You’re amazing.”
Alex shrugs, feeling his cheeks heat up. “What about you?”
Willie blinks. “Me?”
“Yeah,” Alex says. “What do you do to destress?”
Willie hesitates for a moment, then bashfully admits. “I have this art studio that I rent, and sometimes I, um… I scream in it?”
Alex laughs. “You scream?”
“Yeah,” Willie chuckles. “It’s pretty isolated so I won’t bother anyone.”
“Maybe you’ll have to show me sometime,” Alex says.
“Yeah,” Willie agrees quietly. “Maybe I will.”
“So you’re an art major?”
They talk for hours after that, Willie telling him all about their two great passions in life: art and skateboarding. In return, Alex tells him about the band and his dancing. It’s easy talking to Willie, almost like they’ve known each other their whole lives despite never having had a full conversation before tonight. Alex is having so much fun that he doesn’t even realize how late it’s gotten until Willie catches him yawning.
“Oh man,” Willie says. “I’m keeping you up, aren’t I?”
“No, it’s okay,” Alex says quickly. “I’m having fun.”
“It’s 2 AM,” Willie says. “I should… I should let you go to sleep.”
They eye the door wearily, like there’s something waiting to attack them beyond it.
Alex hesitates, then asks carefully, “The nightmares… are they bad?”
Willie casts his eyes down to the bracelets on their wrists and shrugs. “They’re not fun.”
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
Willie shrugs again. “I don’t think so, I— I mean, not being alone helps, but—“
“Then sleep here,” Alex interrupts. Willie laughs, so Alex continues, “I’m serious. If you don’t want to sleep alone, then sleep here.”
“There’s only one bed,” Willie points out. “I think sleeping on the floor might make it worse.”
“We can share.” Alex doesn’t register the words until they’re already out of his mouth and Willie’s face has turned a concerning shade of red. Alex is sure his matches.
“What?” Willie squeaks.
“Yeah,” Alex chuckles, “I mean, I get it if you’re not comfortable with that. But it might help? Having someone, um, close?”
“It’s a twin bed.”
“Really close?” Alex amends.
Willie hesitates, then admits, “That is… something Nick does to help me. Um, cuddling with me, I mean.”
Alex’s heart is in his throat, pounding harder than a bass drum. He’s honestly proud that the only sign of his inner panic is how his voice jumps three octaves as he says, “I can do that.”
“Okay,” Willie says, their voice wobbling uncertainly. “There’s um, there’s something else that helps me but you can’t laugh at me, okay?”
“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Alex says earnestly.
Willie nods, then scurries out the door. A moment later they come back clutching an otter plushie tight in their hands.
“Oh, I love them!” Alex exclaims. “They’re so cute!”
Willie gives him a shy smile. “Her name’s Max.”
Alex grins at him and reaches under his pillows to pull out a well-loved koala plushie. “This is Heinrich Hiddenville III.”
Relief floods over Willie as he lets out a giggle and moves closer to Alex. “What a name.”
“My friend Reggie picked it,” Alex explains. “I just call him Henry for short.”
“Now I wish Max was short for something cooler,” Willie laughs.
They hesitate at the foot of the bed, and Alex shuffles to make room for them.
“I don’t bite,” Alex assures them.
Willie gives him a small smile and climbs up onto the bed, laying down so he’s facing Alex. Alex holds his arm above Willie’s waist.
“Is this okay?”
Willie nods and Alex drops his arm around them, pulling them just a little closer.
“Thank you,” Willie says, their cheeks burning red, “for doing this. I really appreciate it.”
“Of course,” Alex says. He tries not to get too distracted by how close Willie’s face is to his. Or how pretty their eyes are. Or how badly he wants to kiss their lips. “When do you leave for break?”
“I’m not leaving,” Willie says.
“You’re not going home for Christmas?”
“No family,” Willie shrugs. “Foster kid who aged out.”
“I’m sorry,” Alex whispers.
Willie gives him a sad smile. “My last foster dad was a jerk anyways. I’d rather age out than be adopted by him.”
“You should come home with me,” Alex says before he can really think about it. Apparently all his impulse control has gone out the window. “That way I can, um, help. With the nightmares. Until Nick comes back.”
“Really?” Willie asks.
“Yeah,” Alex nods. “I, um, I mean I don’t talk to my parents anymore. But my friend Julie’s dad, like, basically adopted me and Reggie. We’re doing Christmas with them. I was going to stay on Luke’s couch, but I think Ray will let us take one of the guest rooms at his house.”
“That sounds amazing,” Willie breathes. “You’d really let me stay with you?”
“Yeah,” Alex nods, pulling Willie closer. “I would.”
“Thank you,” Willie grins. He presses their foreheads together, and Alex thinks his heart might beat out of his chest.
“Will you tell me about your family?” Willie asks. “Your chosen family?”
Alex nods and tells them all about his band, his friends, his family. Willie interjects here and there to ask increasingly sleepy questions, until eventually they drift off to sleep in Alex’s arms.
They seem peaceful, no sign of any troubling dreams to be seen. After a while without any indication of a nightmare, Alex relaxes and allows himself to drift off as well.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next morning, Alex wakes up with Willie’s head on his chest, their legs tangled together. It kind of feels like he’s always belonged there. Alex hums happily and hugs them tighter, causing Willie to stir.
“Morning, Lost Boy,” Willie mumbles.
“Morning, Tink,” Alex grins back. “Did you sleep okay?”
Willie nods, looking up at Alex with earnest eyes. “The best I’ve slept in a long time. Thank you, Alex.”
“I’m glad I could help,” Alex says.
They lay in comfortable silence for another minute.
“Hey, Willie?” Alex asks.
Willie hums in response, and Alex continues, “Could I take you out for a coffee sometime?”
Willie sits up to beam down at Alex, then places a soft kiss on his forehead.
“I’d really really love that.”