Chapter Text
If you asked him, Sawamura Daichi would say that his life had fallen neatly into place exactly as expected until that day. He played a sport he truly loved, he had the best friends he could ask for, and his family loved and supported him no matter what. He didn’t have his colors yet, but his mother and father said that, of course, it was for the best. Someday when he was older he’d meet a beautiful girl, his vision would be flooded with color, and they’d be disgustingly happy together. It was the natural next step in a life like his.
The day started out completely normally. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and squinted against the bright light he’d just flicked on, shuffling through his morning routine. He glared into his closet for a few moments before finally pulling on his uniform shirt and pants. He gratefully dug into the eggs and toast with jam his mother had waiting for him next to a steaming cup of tea.
“Today is your first day with the volleyball team, isn’t it?” She asked, peering at him over the rim of her teacup.
He nodded with a wide grin. “Yeah. I’m really looking forward to meeting the team.”
“I’m sure they’ll be friendly.” She smiled. “Good luck today, Daichi.” She reached out a hand to gently ruffle his hair, receiving an exasperated sigh in return.
“Mom,” he whined in half-hearted protest, grabbing his bag as he swallowed the last lukewarm dregs of tea. She chuckled and shook her head.
“Have a good day,” She called after him as he ducked out the door. “I love you.”
Daichi loved the early morning walks to school. Everything was so calm and peaceful, and the last remnants of the sunrise painted the sky with a cheery light gray smear. It was just another reason he knew Karasuno was the right school for him. It was within walking distance, they had a volleyball team he’d be proud to play on, and he’d already met a number of people he’d gladly consider his friends. He only hoped he could add his volleyball teammates to that list.
The day seemed to drag on. He was practically itching to get back to playing volleyball, and his curiosity about his teammates had almost gotten the better of him. He wasn’t even hungry enough to finish the bento his mother had packed him and ended up poking at it and daydreaming about volleyball instead. His team in middle school hadn’t been the most dedicated, but he had high hopes about this one. The prospect of being on a team that would make it past the preliminary matches of a tournament was enough to set his stomach abuzz all over again.
Finally his last class came to an end – and it was a good thing, too, considering the fact that if he tapped his foot anxiously on the ground any harder, there was a good chance the girl who sat in front of him would turn around and do more than shoot him another murderous look. He mumbled an apology in her general direction before he was off, almost jogging through the hallways until a teacher’s reprimand forced him to slow his pace.
When he stepped into the gymnasium, he took a few moments to close his eyes and absorb everything, inhaling the familiar scents of floor wax and always-lingering sweat. When he opened them he was met with the smiling faces of a few upperclassmen.
“Hey, you must be the third first year!” greeted one of them, glancing down at the paper he held in his hand. “Sawamura Daichi?”
“Yes.” Daichi confirmed, trying his best to contain the excitement he felt quivering in his middle. The upperclassman grinned.
“It’s nice to meet you, Sawamura-kun. I’m Arikawa Kaito, captain of the Karasuno boys’ volleyball team. We’re happy to have you.”
“Thank you, Arikawa-senpai!” He blurted. The older boy nodded in response, turning to introduce him to the rest of the team. The four first years and three second years were introduced, leaving only Daichi’s fellow first years.
“This is Azumane Asahi,” the captain introduced, and a tall boy stepped forward giving a nervous smile and slight wave of his hand. Daichi returned the wave and smile, contemplating his anxious persona. There should be no room for that here.
“And this,” Arikawa went on, “Is Sugawara Koushi.” Daichi finally looked away from Azumane who was beginning to fidget under his sharp gaze, and found himself looking into a face adorned with a brilliant smile. Blinding, actually. Daichi blinked a time or two, and the smile faltered as their gazes met. Something was wrong. The boy’s hair was gray, yes, but everything surrounding it was… not. It only took a few seconds for the realization to come crashing down on him, flattening his lungs until he felt like he was gasping for air. He glanced around for a few desperate moments, in search of a more plausible source of what could only be his colors. There was none. His gaze finally returned to the boy who looked just about as baffled as he felt.
“Hey… are you two all right? You both look like you’ve seen a ghost.” One of the second years – Daichi couldn’t remember which – finally spoke up. A silent agreement passed between Daichi and the other boy and Daichi gulped.
“I’m fine.” He squeaked out in what he hoped was a normal sounding tone.
“Sorry.” The boy added, sending another curious glance Daichi’s way. “I guess I was sort of spacing out for a bit.”
Everything looked so different, it was no wonder Daichi felt off. He’d seen his colors, and they were everything he could have possibly hoped they’d be and more, but the person responsible was another matter entirely. He felt vaguely as though an elephant had taken residence in his chest and was using his stomach as a footstool, and the combination of that sensation with the achingly vibrant colors left Daichi fumbling and disoriented.
If his other teammates noticed that he was acting strangely, they didn’t mention it. Maybe, he surmised to his chagrin, they thought that he was just naturally a poor volleyball player. He determined to shake this weird funk and be back to his normal self by their next practice. He shoved the niggling conviction that he’d eventually have to deal with the colors and the boy who’d caused them to the back of his mind.
When practice was finally over – the most anticipated part of his day reduced to two hours of near torture – the boy, Sugawara, turned as if to approach him. Daichi panicked and, before the boy could even open his mouth, he shot out the door of the gym, trying to calm his pounding heart and completely missing the look of hurt and confusion on the boy’s face.
The sun still shone as he walked home, but his mind was in a fog. When he got home – his front door, as it turned out, wasn’t white at all, but a very pale something else - he made a beeline for his room, ignoring his mother’s greeting.
“Daichi?” She’d begun without looking up. “How was-” her sentence trailed off at the sound of his bedroom door slamming firmly behind him.
“Daichi?” She was outside of his room now, knocking softly. “Honey, are you all right? Did something happen at school today?”
“I just have a lot of homework.” The lie came easily. He heard her shifting around for a few moments, probably debating whether to press further, before her retreating footsteps faded down the stairs.
He had no intention of doing any homework. He was torn between slowly making his way around his room to greedily take in the colors and pressing his face into his pillow to scream as loud as he could. He settled for laying back on his bed, eyes clenched shut against the contrast that was quickly giving him a headache. He saw Sugawara’s wide, unblinking gaze instead. He scoffed softly to himself.
This was not the way things were supposed to go. He knew he’d heard of it before, of a boy or a girl having a soulmate of the same gender, but it didn’t happen very often and he’d been so certain it wouldn’t happen to him. He didn’t think he felt that way about other boys. He’d felt something in his middle when their eyes met, but it was more a clench of terror than his heart leaping in his chest. So why? That was the word that kept repeating itself in his mind. Why him? Why that boy? Was it a mistake? Was it possible to see your colors without meeting your soulmate? Were the two really mutually inclusive? A quick, fervent google search resulted in – nothing. As far as anyone could tell, the two were decidedly linked.
What should he do now? He couldn’t very well ignore the boy for the rest of his life as he had that afternoon, common sense told him that. When his mother called him for supper, he begrudgingly decided that he had no choice but to confide in his parents. They’d find out sooner or later, anyway.
His mother had made his favorite, but he felt his stomach turn at the thought of eating even that. Instead, he pushed the food around on his plate, slowly building up the courage to say what needed to be said.
“Mom, Dad?” He blurted at the same time his mother cautiously spoke his name.
His father put his chopsticks down next to his plate. “What is it, son?” Concern was evident on his face. Daichi’s mother must have told him how strangely he’d been acting when he came home from school. His father’s eyes were much warmer than he remembered. It was a shade not much different than the gray he was accustomed to, but richer somehow. His mother’s, on the other hand, were a bright, kind shade similar to that of the front door. Every one of these colors had a name, but he didn’t know any of them.
“I got my colors at school today.” He finally blurted, watching as his parents’ eyes widened and their mouths fell slightly open.
“Daichi…” His mother paused. “I – is that what you were so upset about? Did you meet your soulmate? Isn’t she what you expected? You know it takes time to get to know someone.” She shared a quick glance with his father.
“Well…” Daichi coughed. “That’s not exactly it. I – my soulmate is on my volleyball team.” His father nearly choked on the water he’d been sipping, leaving the glass at his lips as he watched his son with wide eyes.
“I thought Karasuno has a separate girls’ volleyball team…” His father said slowly, finally lowering the glass back to the table.
“They do!” Daichi looked from his father to his mother, whose expression was frozen and didn’t offer much support. “It’s – my soulmate is a guy, okay? And I don’t know what I’m supposed to do about it!” He felt frustrated tears well up in his eyes for the first time.
“Daichi…” His mother finally spoke up, resting a gentle hand on his forearm. “You know we’ll love you no matter what.” She shot a pointed glance to his father.
“Of course we will, son.” His father quickly agreed. “It’s a bit of a shock, but not unheard of.”
“I know!” Daichi said a little too loudly. “I know.” He repeated in a whisper. “That’s not really the problem.”
“This boy.” His mother spoke gently. “How does he feel about all of this?”
Daichi hung his head. “I don’t – I don’t really know.” He admitted. “I kind of ran off before I really had a chance to talk to him about it. I was freaked out, and I don’t think – I don’t feel that way about other guys.” His cheeks were burning. This was the last conversation he’d ever thought he’d have to have with his parents. “What if he does, you know? What if he actually wants to be my soulmate and spend the rest of his life with me and I just can’t feel the same?” He began to feel intensely guilty for running away instead of facing him. He’d probably already caused more than enough hurt.
“That’s just something you’ll have to find out.” His father rested a hand on his shoulder. “The two of you are the only people who can decide how this ends. You know you can’t avoid him forever.”
“I know.” Daichi agreed miserably. Even if he didn’t think he’d fall in love with the guy, he still wasn’t looking forward to breaking his heart.
“Sweetie…” His mother spoke slowly, patching together her words as she went. He didn’t miss the way his father rested his hand over hers in a silent show of support. “A soulmate is a very special person. The one person who can relate to you in a way no one else can. I don’t know why yours turned out to be another boy, but I do know that it was no accident. Daichi – promise me you’ll give the boy a chance?”
He gave a quick, firm nod. He found himself desperately wishing he could believe his mother – if it was no mistake, why did it feel so much like one?
The next day, Daichi found himself dreading volleyball practice. Again, he poked at his bento rather than eating it, but the swirling in his stomach could be described as anything but excitement. The poor girl who sat in front of him in his last class of the day looked about ready to physically pin him to his desk to stop his fidgeting. He didn’t even have the strength to be apologetic today. He shuffled slowly to practice, thinking that maybe if he was too late, the captain would lock the gym doors and he would be free to go home. Instead, as he neared the gym Arikawa poked his head out the door and shouted, “Sawamura! Let’s go! We don’t have all day!” With a heavy sigh, he picked up his pace and ducked into the gym, meeting Sugawara’s gaze for a few fleeting moments before looking away with burning cheeks. He didn’t take the time to analyze the look on the other boy’s face.
Practice went a little better than the day before. That, or Daichi was just so distracted that he didn’t notice how shaky his plays were, how inconsistent his serves, how half-hearted his spikes. He carefully observed the other players in an attempt to take his mind off the conversation he knew was coming after practice. The captain was, in Daichi’s mind, everything a captain should be; a well-rounded player and constant encourager, tough but kind. The third year ace was the most powerful spiker Daichi had ever played with, and to his surprise Azumane, his fellow first year, showed an incredible amount of potential. The captain even commented on it. The libero, also a third year, went to much greater lengths to get beneath the ball than the libero on his middle school team ever had. He admired that. Spiking the setter’s toss had taken an attempt or two, but when he got it down the familiar sting on his palm even brought a smile to his face.
To his surprise, Sugawara expressed a desire to play as setter. The current setter seemed pleased and offered to give him some pointers, and Sugawara beamed at the prospect. One thing he had to say about the guy, Daichi admitted to himself, he had a killer smile. When Sawamura noticed his gaze on him he sent an uncertain smile his way, and Daichi was quick to avert his eyes, hoping the boy hadn’t seen the sudden dusting of pink that colored his cheeks. This was ridiculous.
Finally practice was over, the gym was cleaned, and Daichi took a deep breath to steel himself for what was coming next. He was determined not to run away this time, no matter how strong the desire was to sprint all the way home, not stopping until he’d reached the safety of his bedroom.
Azumane was talking to Sugawara outside the gym doors. Daichi cursed him under his breath, wanting to get this over with before he lost his resolve.
“I was wondering if you could set for me sometime, Sugawara-san.” He was saying, rubbing the back of his neck anxiously. “I mean, so I could practice my spikes.”
Sugawara was quick to agree. “Sure, I’d like that.” He gave another one of those smiles. “The practice would be really helpful for me too, but I don’t know how good I am just yet.” He was almost apologetic.
“Th-that’s okay!” Azumane was quick to assure. “I appreciate it. I’ll see you tomorrow, Sugawara-san!” He waved as he turned to go, pausing when he saw Daichi standing there. “Bye, Sawamura-san.” He said hastily, offering a hesitant smile that Daichi only half-heartedly returned.
“See you tomorrow.” He managed to squeak out, watching the boy’s retreating back before finally turning to look at Sugawara. The look in the boy’s eyes was one that he couldn’t quite place, and suddenly he couldn’t remember just what it was he’d planned to say in opening.
“Want to sit down?” Sugawara finally invited, gesturing to a low stone wall nearby. Daichi gladly obliged, carefully lowering himself to a seat before his shaking legs betrayed him. The boy sat as well, looking down at his hands for a few tense moments before beginning, “Sawamura-san…Yesterday-”
“I’m sorry I ran off.” Daichi blurted quickly, interrupting before he realized what he was doing. “I’m a coward, but…” He took a deep breath. “Sorry.” He mumbled lamely.
“It was a shock to me, too.” Sugawara said with a nervous chuckle, picking at a thread that had come loose from the hem of his shirt before finally looking up to meet Daichi’s gaze. “I know it’s… abnormal. 90% of soulmates are of opposite genders.” He rattled off the statistic. “But I’ve never been attracted to girls. I knew the chances of having a male soulmate who felt the way I do were slim to none, so it’s okay that you don’t. And I do know that you don’t.” He said it so matter-of-factly that Daichi almost felt guilty. “I didn’t know whether my soulmate would be a girl or a guy, and I couldn’t decide which would be worse: Having a soulmate who I could never love, or a soulmate who could never love me. I guess that’s a moot point, because I knew the universe would decide for me.” He looked Daichi square in the face, and Daichi could only meet his gaze for a few moments before shifting his attention first to the tiny mole beneath his left eye, then to his own fingers.
“I guess it turned out to be the second option,” He said softly, “but I think I’m kind of glad.” Daichi wondered why this guy was actually smiling at him while his heart was clearly breaking. “I’ve done a lot of research on soulmates.” He went on. “They don’t always end up in romantic relationships. Sometimes they just form platonic friendships, and sometimes… they end up going their separate ways.” His eyes took on a translucent quality at that. “If that’s what you want, well, I’ll respect that, but I guess I’m sort of soft. I always hoped my soulmate and I could become friends regardless.” He gave another one of those blinding smiles.
Daichi considered his words in silence for a few moments, taking a deep breath before he spoke. “Yesterday… I was confused. Scared. Kind of in denial, I guess.” He admitted apologetically, gritting his teeth at the almost imperceptible nod and kind half-smile sent his way. “But… I don’t want us to just go our separate ways.” He surprised himself by saying it, but he realized with a start that it was the truth. “I… my parents are soulmates. They’re amazing together. They just fit. I’ve always had great friends, but never someone like that. I couldn’t wait until the day I met my soulmate and found it. I don’t want to throw that away.” He felt his cheeks growing warm. “Maybe this isn’t what I expected, but if there’s one thing my parents taught me it’s that your soulmate is for you even when the whole world is against you. So… no matter what… I’m for you, Sugawara-san.” He hadn’t meant to let all of that tumble out, but there was just something about the boy that made it easy. Maybe that was what being soulmates was. He was surprised to see tears welling up in his eyes.
“My friends call me Suga.” The boy finally spoke up. “So… you can call me that, if you want. Sawamura-san.”
“Only if you’ll call me Daichi,” He replied almost shyly. They shared a comfortable smile. He glanced at the sun in the sky, surprised to find that it had already sunk so low. “I guess… I should be going.” He broke the almost awkward silence. “My parents will be expecting me. So, I’ll see you tomorrow, Suga?”
“Tomorrow.” He confirmed brightly. “Daichi.” Daichi’s name slide effortlessly from his lips. This time as Daichi walked home, he took the time to look around him, taking in the splashes of color blooming everywhere. Maybe he should feel disappointed or bitter that his soulmate hadn’t turned out to be the Love of His Life, but he found himself thinking that someone like Suga was just as agreeable.