Work Text:
When Cross heard he was to be married to another nobleman he thought his life was practically over. Not that he had much of one anyhow, but he was afraid that what he did have would be taken away.
He tried his best to rebel, to say no, he didn’t want this. But his Father was cruel, and he knew how to cow Cross into submission. In the end, Cross had no choice. He never did, but it stung that his choices could be even more limited than they already were.
He could not even meet his groom until the ceremony of the wedding. When he would be walked down the aisle to be handed off to a partner he did not want.
It was a difficult day, full of tumultuous feelings with no outlet. He couldn’t help but be terrified for his future.
He was extremely wary when he first met Dream. Distrustful of the seemingly kind nature of the other. Heedful, and even expectant that his attitude would change the moment Cross did something his husband did not like.
That moment never came, and Cross found Dream to be an extraordinarily sweet monster. Giving, and patient, and even when Cross might’ve overstepped bounds, it was only ever met with compassion.
The days passed, and as they spent time together, Dream had become Cross’ best friend. And before he knew it, he fell in love. Dream… was just so spectacular. Kind, and caring, Dream captured Cross’ proverbial heart in a heh, heart-beat.
Cross had never thought he would ever have the chance to fall in love after his hand in marriage had been given away. He was nervous, but overjoyed. After all, it was rare if not unheard of for an arranged marriage to have any sort of love involved in it.
So caught up on cloud nine, it took a while for Cross to realize that there was a bit of a dilemma. His feelings were one-sided.
Dream was warm, considerate, and gentle towards him but it was not because he was in love with Cross. That was just Dream being Dream, he was like that with every person he came across.
Still, he kept his affection quiet, and subtle. He was already married to the monster, he had time to hopefully gain Dream’s endearment.
Time continued to flow along, and Cross spent his time trying to be the best spouse for Dream he could be. Tried to be loving, and constant, and supportive. Even if he did not end up gaining Dream’s love, he was fine with that. As long as he could be a proper husband for Dream.
As long as Dream was happy.
They knew each other well, and even though Dream was blind to his feelings, Cross was not blind to his. Dream had begun to seem somewhat frantic.
It wasn’t anything big, but there would be times that Dream would look away from him in guilt, or he would rush home from work like he was trying to escape something. Times that Dream would look somber and upset with himself. Times his face would fill with longing.
Cross had nothing to clue him in as to what was upsetting him, but he tried to keep himself open to Dream. And then Dream came to him.
Dream, ever the honest person, had admitted to falling for another. He’d told Cross that he was faithful, hadn’t ever acted on those feelings but that he wanted to. He asked for Cross to let him go.
Shell-shocked, and astounded, Cross didn’t know what to say. Dream looked desperate, though. Hopeful. Resolved. So, Cross bit back his rising, wavering emotions, and asked about this other person that had caught his husband’s attention.
Dream’s face was awed as he talked about them. His voice reverent. Loving. It was everything he had never shown to Cross before, and Cross knew this was it.
He wanted so badly to say no. He wanted to ask Dream to stay. To say, ‘You have me! So, choose me!’. He wanted to be selfish, and keep Dream all to himself. But, he couldn’t.
His husband had never asked him for anything, and one look at that adoring, fond expression was enough to hinder Cross’ personal desires.
Because Dream has made it clear as day that he wanted something else. He wanted someone else, and Cross couldn’t keep him here knowing Dream longed for another.
Cross knew that if he just asked, that Dream would stay. His husband is loyal to a fault, always putting someone else's happiness before his own. If Cross said no, Dream would acquiesce, and let it go.
However… he wouldn’t be truly happy. And Cross would be holding Dream back from something he truly wanted if he acted on these feelings.
He reigns in his clamorous emotions once more, and gathers himself up.
And lets Dream go.
Dream is quick to prepare for his final, and everlasting departure. As Dream settles into the carriage, Cross bids him one last “Farewell”, and it takes everything in Cross to keep himself together until Dream is completely off the property.
When he’s left to himself again, he allows it all out. He unveils the pain he covered up, and grants himself the privilege to cry.
He’s loved Dream for years, and now, he’s lost him. His thoughts say that he’s the biggest fool there ever was, and he knows it to be true. He loved, and loved, and he lost… and he didn’t do a damn thing to stop it.
If he could only rewind time and do something different… Perhaps, be more upfront about the warmth that surged through his soul… Or just do something to change the outcome!
… But at the same time he feels deplorable for even thinking of that. Dream is finally getting what he wants, and Cross doesn’t want to take that happiness from him. He doesn’t want to take away Dream’s choice in all of this.
Everything feels like it’s too much while also leaving him feeling as though he can’t feel a thing. His heartache is so great, it leaves him emotionally numb.
Cross finds it funny… He has been through so much worse, and yet this feels like a death. As if his most cherished person just blew away in the wind, and there’s nothing he can do, and all he can think about is that he’ll never have the warmth of his adored by his side again.
His loved one is not with him, and won’t be again.
It’s as though a part of him has left alongside Dream.