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(Saturday Dec 8, 2007)
He promised Pansy he’d stop by. She always struggled in front of her grandmother-in-law, with old biases that didn’t seem to cease following the war, so she appreciated some other friendly faces. Besides, he and Goyle got along really well with Neville and some of his other former Gryffindor friends, so Pansy knew it wouldn’t be an issue.
So, Theo was here. Two or three hours after the start time listed on the invitation, but, he was here. Here, standing in the kitchen of the Longbottom estate, having a drink, watching the couple parade around the sitting room in their matching Mr. and Mrs. Claus outfits. Thankfully Pansy had brought the expensive drinks so he might be able to forget the image of finding Neville and Pansy snogging in the loo.
“Sorry, is there a way you could pass the-”
Theo turned and almost dropped his drink at the sight of him.
He had grown since the last time he saw him. Two years ago?
Well, a year and three hundred and sixty days ago.
Not that he was keeping track.
Somehow, the overhead lights that were so unflattering on everyone else lit up his face beautifully. The blue in his eyes pierced him just as they did all of those years ago. Draco Malfoy was always beautiful to him.
Theo didn’t know if he wanted to kiss him or strangle him.
Draco stopped his sentence when Theo turned and their eyes met.
“Theo. I-”
“I've got to go.”
Suddenly, Theo pushed past Draco and headed out the front door before apparating to his home. He would apologize to Pansy for leaving early later.
*****
(Saturday Dec 15, 2007)
Every year, Puddlemere United hosted a party before the beginning of the upcoming season. It was a great way for the team to meet potential new sponsors as well as celebrate the various holidays the team members celebrated. It was always a hot ticket that everyone he knew wanted, and seeing as their chaser Marcus Flint was his step-brother, Theo always managed to snag a ticket.
So, Theo watched over the crowds of navy blazers and dresses, making conversation with some of the players and watching his brother flirt with his husband. Who would have guessed that Marcus Flint actually had a sweet spot for Oliver all of those years ago? And that they would one day play on the same team (in more ways than one)? Theo knew they just finished with their Hanukkah traditions a few days ago and he loved seeing them out together.
He had just finished talking to the couple about their plans for the Ministry New Year Gala when he felt a light tap on the shoulder.
The blonde hair wasn’t the first thing he saw. It was the eyes.
It was always the eyes.
“Hi.” Draco said, his voice almost tremoring.
Theo crossed his arms. “Hi.”
He stood there for a moment to see if he was going to continue, and when only slight stutters left his lips, Theo scoffed and started to turn away.
“And that’s my cue to leave. Happy holidays Malfoy.”
He took three steps, slowly shaking his head when Draco spoke again.
“I miss you.”
He stopped in his tracks, unsure if he heard him correctly.
Draco continued to speak, afraid that Theo would leave before the words sunk in.
“I do. I miss you. You haven’t left my head for a day since then and when I saw you last week, I knew I had to see you again. And I understand that you might be upset with me, and I don’t blame you, but please, please at least talk to me.”
Theo took in a breath as he felt his eyes begin to water.
No.
He had spent too many hours crying when he left. Called Goyle drunk off his ass too many times. Had to sleep in a bed with Pansy because he couldn’t sleep by himself.
Draco would not get to see those tears.
“Maybe another day, but I can’t talk to you right now.” His voice started to waver. He needed to get out of here.
“Can’t or won’t.”
“Bye Draco.”
And with the swoosh of apparition, he landed in Pansy and Neville’s sitting room. She had Theo keyed into their wards so thankfully no alarms would go off.
Pansy was down the stairs quickly and pulled Theo into her chest. And together they sat on the luxe sofa while Theo cried and Pansy ran her fingers through his hair. Neville came down shortly after with tea. And soon, Theo had fallen asleep.
*****
(Saturday Dec 22)
The frosting wouldn’t smooth out.
No matter how many times he spread the knife across the weirdly shaped cookie, the red frosting he picked would not smooth evenly.
And there was always a strict “No Magic” rule at these gatherings, something about not drawing in Nargles or something. Theo didn’t quite understand, but who was he to question it.
Then again, what else would you expect from the Lovegood-Goyle residence. Between Gregory’s excellence in potions, and Luna’s….…. beliefs, regarding the magical properties of various foods and plants, they were always sharing new foods with whoever came over.
Luna had mentioned something about how the radishes in the frosting were supposed to
Tonight, there weren't very many. The Weasley girl sat next to Luna as they took what looked to be miniature berries and placed them atop the baked goods in various patterns and designs. He looked over what they had made.
Looks like the frosting isn’t supposed to be smooth.
Across from them sat Goyle, Potter and the other Weasley, laughing away and throwing some of the berries at each other. Neville and Pansy were supposed to be arriving shortly. Blaise was somewhere in the kitchen trying to make a move on Granger. A few former Ravenclaws he didn’t quite recognize were also hanging around.
He looked back to his tray and saw that his cookie was not alone. Next to it sat a similar shaped cookie (Theo suspected it was a tree), with green frosting and the words “I’m sorry” painted across in yellow.
Theo looked up and met Draco’s glance. His lips held a timid smile, both proud of his cookie attempt and nervous about the potential outcome.
“For what?” Theo asked, a slight harshness in his tone.
Draco’s face fell. “I’m sorry?”
It was a question. And Theo rolled his eyes.
“What are you sorry for?”
Draco looked at him. “A lot.”
Theo couldn’t stop the chuff that escaped his lips.
“Try again.”
He was trying to keep his voice calm, not wanting to draw too much attention from the other guests. Most of them knew what had happened, and Theo didn’t want to cause a scene.
He wouldn’t give Draco the satisfaction.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I left.”
The air was tight. And Theo felt as if he was suffocating.
“That’s it? That’s all you could be sorry for?”
Draco looked lost. “Theo.” It was the closest thing Theo had heard to Draco begging.
“That’s what I thought.”
And with that, he took the cookie, smushed the two cookies together so the frosting mixed, and took a bite out of the makeshift sandwich before walking away. He didn’t apparate straight home this time, choosing to join Gregory and his wife and friends where they were decorating. Theo could feel Draco’s eyes on him for most of the night, and hours later when Draco left for the loo, when he returned,
….Theo was gone.
*****
(Sunday Dec 23)
“Are you shitting me? I was sure this was the one place you wouldn’t dare come.”
Theo hadn’t been at the Greengrass’ Annual Holiday Party for no more than twenty minutes when he saw the blue eyes and signature blonde hair in the crowd. Hair that could only belong to Draco.
“How did you even get in? Weren’t you banned after breaking your engagement?”
Draco smiled. "I think that's the most you've spoken to me since Pansy's."
The rose color of his cheeks deepend as he let out a short laugh.
"Like combined."
Theo turned and had to try and stop the laugh from coming. But Draco saw it. He knew Theo better than almost anyone, well, except maybe Pansy.
Theo looked to the sides trying to search for an easy escape. Maybe he could draw Goyle’s attention or even Daphne. She would be ideal. If Goyle came, so would Luna and she would be able to get attention drawn to Draco in a heartbeat.
However, before Theo could do anything, Draco took him by the arm and apparated them to the Greengrass’ Garden. One that was charmed so that no matter the actual weather, it was always a picture of spring.
“What the hell Draco? You can’t just do that.”
“I’m sorry, but I had to do something. I need you to listen to me.”
Theo crossed his arms in front of his torso, his weight shifting to a single foot. When Draco didn’t say anything, he raised a brow.
“Well?”
A look of surprise crossed over the blonde’s face. He didn’t expect to get this far.
And he couldn’t ruin the chance he had.
“I want you back.”
The words came out quicker than he realized, and Theo wasn’t even sure if he heard him correctly, but before he could say anything further, Draco continued.
“I want you back. I miss you, and I regretted leaving as soon as I did. But the contract was already signed so as soon as it was over I came back. I came back for you. I overheard Weasley at the Leaky talk about Neville and Pansy’s party and figured you were going to be there. That’s why I came that night.”
He reached his hand forward and took one of Theo’s hands in his. A glimmer of hope crossed his heart when Theo didn’t immediately break away.
“I love you Theo.”
It was then that whatever fog Theo had felt disappeared and he pulled his hand away.
“No.”
His voice was sharp. There was an edge that Draco hadn’t heard since the war.
“What do you expect Draco? You broke my heart and disappeared. Then you come back randomly and you expect me to just take you back. Seriously, what am I supposed to say? What am I supposed to thin-”
He was cut off by the feeling of Draco’s lips on his. Merlin, he missed the way they felt. The way they fit so perfectly in his. Theo could feel the tears falling, from both of them, one of Draco’s smearing on his cheek.
But this wasn’t a dream he could stay in.
He pulled away again and stared at the man before him.
“No. You don’t just get to kiss me and think everything will be okay again.”
“Love, please. I-”
“Don’t call me that. I-I can’t do this. Enjoy the party.”
And for the third time, Draco stared at the space in front of him. The empty space where Theo Nott stood seconds before.
*****
(Monday Dec 24)
How Pansy could expect him to be able to find anything in Diagon the day before Christmas was beyond him. But she begged and pleaded and cried when she realized that her special gift she got for Neville wasn’t arriving in time. And being the friend that he was, he put on his best winter coat in an attempt to trudge through the crowds of last-minute shoppers scattering across the Alley.
The line to get into Weasley Wizard Wheezes went down the street, and the Quidditch Supply Shop had a sign declaring “Sold Out” in bright letters.
He finally made his way into Sprout’s Sprouts, a flower shop his former professor opened after leaving Hogwarts. He walked in and after looking through what remained, he finally found the very specific plant that Pansy wanted to give Neville. Honestly, when she started explaining the meaning behind it he kinda spaced out a little but got the general gist that it represented love and passion or something like that.
So, with the box containing the plant and the other various things Pansy asked him to get, he made his way back towards his flat, feeling the soft snowflakes that had started falling earlier that day hit his nose, and the cold in his hands.
When he got to the steps, he made his way up and pulled out the key from his coat pocket. He almost dropped the box when he saw Draco sitting next to his door.
“Holy shit. What are you doing here? How did you even know-”
“Lovegood. Or is she technically Goyle now?”
“They hyphenated. But still, that doesn’t answer my first question, what the hell are you doing here?”
“I’m an asshole.”
“I-I don’t understand? I mean I don’t disagree but-”
“Last night- last night you asked, or started asking before I stopped you what you were supposed to think about what I did. You should be thinking that I, as in Draco Malfoy, am an asshole who doesn’t deserve a second chance.”
Theo tightened his hold on the box, the cold beginning to sink in more.
Or maybe just the nerves.
“And if you tell me to leave you alone after this, I will but I just need you to hear this.”
He waited a moment and when Theo hesitantly nodded, he took in a breath and continued.
“We were good together. And I’m ready for us to have everything we talked about. The house. The papers. The cord. Everything. I love you and I never stopped. I fucked up and I will regret that forever, but if you give me another chance, I swear Theo, I will be the man you once fell in love with and more.”
Theo’s breath shook as Draco’s words sunk in. This was everything that he had wanted for the past two years. A year ago, he would have already dropped everything and snogged Draco against the door.
But today?
“I need to think about it.”
Draco smiled. It wasn’t a no.
“Okay. Yeah. Take all the time you need.”
Theo gave a short nod before going inside, gently closing the door.
Draco stared at the door, a thousand possibilities playing through his head as he stared at the red door before descending the staircase.
*****
(New Year’s Eve, 2007)
It was Granger who planned the Gala this year.
Well, Granger with help from Blaise Zabini.
They worked well together.
And now the entire ministry, as well as their families and other celebrated guests filled the transfigured ballroom, all dressed in outfits that probably cost more than they cared to admit.
Everyone always looked their best at this event and Theo found himself looking over the crowd at everyone. He saw Harry, in a completely burgundy suit with Ginny on his arm, talking to the Minister. Ginny wore a black draped gown with a lip color matching her fiancé's suit. On the opposite end of the room, Luna and Gregory had begun dancing. Gregory in a tan jacket and pants with a crisp white button down and Luna in a dress that looked as if it were made of beads of various shades of blue. As he watched everyone, he wasn’t sure if he was thankful or saddened by the absence of a-
“Looking for someone?” Pansy’s voice startled him.
He knew better than to try and lie to her. And Pansy being Pansy, he was sure she already knew.
“Is he coming tonight? I’m sure the Prophet’s already heard of his return.”
The corner of Pansy’s lip rose as she brought her drink to her lips. “No. He is not.”
Theo sighed.
“Something about trying to give someone space to think?” He turned to face her, and Pansy took a drink before winking at him.
Theo laughed and took her drink from her, taking a sip of his own.
“What would you do, if the person you once loved, who left you, told you that he couldn’t be with you anymore, suddenly appeared after two years, apologized, and told you that he wanted you back.”
He took another drink.
Pansy turned back out, watching over the crowds of people. Theo watched as her lips quirked up. “That depends.” she said. “In this scenario, do I want them back?”
Theo froze.
For a moment.
Pansy never edged him forward, just watched their former classmates dance with their partners and families while Theo contemplated her question.
“You do.”
“But?”
There’s always a but.
“You’re... You're scared.”
There it was. Theo took in a few deep breaths in the pause. Because he was. He was scared. Scared of repetition. Scared that he and Draco would be happy and in love until one day, Draco would leave again. He couldn’t go through that. Not again.
A few more moments passed before Pansy decided to speak again.
“Do I believe him, that he’s sorry?”
“He said he was ready for the chord.”
Theo could see the moment of shock in Pansy’s eyes as a blush rose on his cheeks. They were purebloods who knew the binding chord was serious. So serious that even many arranged marriages didn’t push for one.
Pansy nodded. “He sounds serious.”
He couldn’t stop the blush from growing. “I think he is.”
“Well, if this happened, and if I truly believed them, which I’m assuming I do,” she looked over to Theo and continued when he gave a nod. “Then I would probably go find him, possibly at my house plant sitting for Neville and I and tell him.”
“Tell him that I- I mean you want to try again.”
“If that’s what I want.” She replied with a smirk on her ruby painted lips.
Theo nodded and gently kissed Pansy on the cheek before running out of the building. He ran down the street towards the nearest apparition point before apparating to the village Pansy and Neville lived. When he shook off the aftershocks, he took off running again towards the house. He ran and ran, adrenaline fueling his body until he reached the front door and pounded his fist against the door.
Several seconds later and there was no answer, not even the sound of footsteps.
He knocked again, a little softer this time, but with quicker succession.
Theo’s heart was racing.
What if he left the house? What if he was asleep? What if-
His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of locks turning and the creak of the door opening.
Draco stood in the doorway, dressed in a pair of black jeans (since when did Draco wear jeans?) and a grey turtleneck. He took in Theo’s messed up hair, the loss of his tie and the way he was rapidly breathing.
“Theo? I thought you were at the Gala.”
“I was. I was. But-but then I realized, I kept looking for you. And after talking to someone-”
“Pansy I assume.”
Theo disregarded the response. “I thought about it.”
Draco stared at him and the two stood in the quiet, the only sounds being their breathing and the soft sounds of the radio in the house playing the Ministry’s New Year Countdown.
One minute.
Draco’s voice broke. “You did?”
Theo nodded.
“I did. And I’m scared. Scared of what’s going to happen. Scared of being hurt again.”
He paused and Draco didn’t try to stop him.
“But more than that I’m scared of missing more time with you. I’m scared of missing out on this second chance.”
Draco’s face lit up and he took a step forward, pulling Theo’s hands into his.
“So,” Theo started.
Ten
“Draco Malfoy.”
Nine.
“If you are serious.”
Eight
“About us.”
Seven
“About everything.”
Six
Five
Four
“I’m yours.”
Three
Draco held Theo’s hands tighter before dropping them to grab his face.
Two
“I love you” Draco whispered.
One.
Theo pressed their lips together, wrapping his arms around the man he once loved and would come to love again, the sounds of cheering and fireworks erupting from the radio and the surrounding town around them.