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A familiar voice called Kunimi’s name, piercing the silent morning as Kunimi was about to enter the school gates.
It was a beautiful summer day with clear blue sky in June and the weather wasn’t so hot yet. But as beautiful as it was, Kunimi still hated mornings. Usually he was making his way to school still half a sleep, missing his bed at home, but that day was special. The voice that called his name was the reason for it. Kunimi stopped and turned around, watching Kindaichi’s tall figure running towards him.
"Good morning, Shallot-head." Kunimi said when Kindaichi caught up with him.
"Calling me names so early in the morning..." Kindaichi pouted, but a smile quickly replaced the seemingly offended expression – Kunimi could not help but to wonder how can this guy smile so early in the morning - and they both started walking together, although Kindaichi seemed to be in a hurry.
"Kunimi, you remember the promise we made for today?"
There was no way Kunimi could forget.
"I remember." Kunimi answered briefly, observing Kindaichi’s face to try and catch any kind of reaction from him.
"Good. Sorry but I’m on cleaning duty today and I’m actually really late. See you after school, okay?" Kindaichi said and started running ahead before the shorter guy could even answer him.
Kunimi sighed. Kindaichi was a good guy. No, good couldn't even start to describe how greatly Kunimi thought of him. But he was really dense. After all the years they’ve spent together, this was the only thing he still couldn’t stand about him and was not able to fix. Kunimi had feelings for him since their middle school days, but of course Kindaichi didn’t notice a thing. Sometimes Kunimi thought that it was partly his fault for not showing his emotions too much, but there was no doubt Kindaichi’s part was bigger.
"Good morning Kunimi!" Kunimi felt a hand tapping his shoulder. After seeing Kindaichi he wasn’t really interested in talking with anyone else and he started to feel all sleepy again.
"Good morning Hanamaki-san. Matsukawa-san too." He said and faked a very exaggerated yawn.
"We happened to hear your little conversation just now, you see," Hanamaki said, grinning and completely ignoring Kunimi’s act. Yet another person who can smile so naturally in the morning. "and we were wondering, what promise were you talking about? Can it be a date?"
Kunimi wished it was.
"It’s nothing like that. Kindaichi just asked me to help him shop for new shoes."
"Shopping for new shoes, was it?" Hanamaki said and made a very important face, "What do you think, Matsukawa?"
"Definitely a date." Matsukawa answered and they both smirked to each other.
Was it really okay to consider it a date? Even though it was really one sided on Kunimi’s account, but maybe, since those two also called it a date… well, there was a high possibility they were just making fun of him.
Hanamaki and Matsukawa were actually great upperclassmen, most of the time. They were nice to him, especially after they found out about his feelings for Kindaichi (nearly all the club members knew about his feelings, everyone but the man himself). They always tried to support him in their own, awful way. Speaking of them, he didn’t know exactly what the status of their relationship was, but he knew they were really close.
"Anyway, good luck Kunimi, it might be a good chance." Matsukawa said.
"A chance? No way…" Kunimi said nervously. Just thinking about stuff like confessing his feelings made him feel sick.
"What is it with this hesitant look?" Hanamaki claimed to know, "It might be too late if you dilly dally for too long. Like, what if Kindaichi gets a girlfriend?"
"Kindaichi won't get a girlfriend." said Kunimi with a little too much confident.
"He's right, he won't." Matsukawa nodded, "I can't imagine it for the life of me."
"Well, okay. Maybe. But remember, one day you're going to stand at your own graduation ceremony and realize your one sided love is still unanswered, and you're going to regret it."
"My Hanamaki, you're so rough today." Matsukawa said with a smirk, rested a calming hand on Hanamaki's shoulder and turned to Kunimi, "Hanamaki here is exaggerating a tiny bit, but he has a point. We all know Kindaichi is so dense it's almost stupid, so solution won't come from him. Which means it all depends on you."
"Seriously, why did you even fall for someone like him?" Hanamaki sighed, "Aren't you supposed to be the smartest first year?"
"Even if you ask me, it's not something I can answer..." Kunimi shrugged and thought that if these two annoying and mean upperclassmen of his fell for each other then everything was possible, and out loud he added, "it just happened."
"We don't say you have to do it today, but..."
"...we sure gave you something to think about." Hanamaki finished. Looked like he got bored of the conversation because he started to walk away from there, pulling Matsukawa with him, waving to Kunimi goodbye and smirking.
Kunimi stood in his place and watched his upperclassmen's huge backs getting further away, walking a little too close to each other. Those two really had a bad personality (almost all his upperclassmen had one to be honest). Why did they have to tell him all those things? Looking at it as a date was one thing, but having the option of him confessing on the table was something else entirely, and it wasn’t good for his health.
But maybe it was really a good time to put an end to it? An end to years of being dishonest to the person most important to him? Did he really want to keep on dragging this unrequited love for another three years? But the price may be heavy, if Kindaichi find him disgusting… honestly, he was scared.
Kunimi shook his head. He still had time to think about it.
*****
Monday was a day off for the Aobajousai volleyball club, so when classes ended Kindaichi and Kunimi met at the school building’s entrance. Kindaichi looked really excited to finally get to shop for shoes. He was complaining for some time now that his feet were growing – when will this guy stop growing, Kunimi couldn’t tell – and that his shoes were too small for him and made his feet ache. He really insisted that Kunimi would come with him and help him choose new shoes, and Kunimi really couldn’t refuse him when he was begging like this. He couldn’t refuse him period.
They started walking together to the town’s shopping area. In the end Kunimi hasn't thought at all about what Hanamaki and Matsukawa told him. He was confused at what to do, and he couldn’t stop thinking about it as a date which made him even more nervous. It wasn’t like him to over think things and to lose his cool. He was probably so quiet that even Kindaichi noticed something was wrong.
"Kunimi, are you not feeling well? We can go another day if today is no good." Kindaichi looked really worried and it somehow made Kunimi feel better.
"I’m fine," Kunimi tried to smile, "It’s nothing. Just thinking about stuff."
"Then why don’t you tell me? Maybe I can help!"
Kunimi let out a little, unnoticeable sigh. What was this guy saying, telling him was the root of the problem.
"It’s really nothing important, you don’t have to worry about it."
"If you say so." Kindaichi gave him a gentle smile, and his heart started to beat faster, way too fast to his liking. Why did he have to fall in love with him of all people?
The shopping area was packed with people. The two of them wandered around, checking many stores and stalls, even ones that had nothing to do with shoes or sports. Kindaichi seemed to enjoy himself a lot, and Kunimi too enjoyed spending time with his childhood friend and love interest. Even walking by Kindaichi’s side aimlessly like this made him really happy.
After enjoying themselves for about half an hour, in which they bought some crepe and some weird shake to drink, they got closer to the shop considered to be the top in town for sports dress. Kindaichi said he saw there once shoes that were to his taste, so there was no way they were going to pass over this store.
They were a few meters from the shop when Kunimi saw some recognizable faces, just in front of the store entrance. He felt a wave of coldness going through his body. It was Kageyama, and together with him was his little friend, Karasuno’s number 10. They talked in really loud voices, but over all they seemed to be getting along well. Kageyama was smiling. It was such a weird sight. He never smiled like this for them back in middle school.
Kunimi instinctively stopped walking. He really didn’t want Kageyma to see him and Kindaichi. He didn’t want to have anything to do with Kageyama again.
"Kunimi, what’s wrong?" Kindaichi asked, confused as to why Kunimi stopped walking.
"Over there, it’s Kageyama."
"So?"
"So…? I don’t want to see him. Let’s wait here until they go away."
"What’s wrong with you? I didn’t know you still hold a grudge against him.”
"You don’t?"
"Well, we kind of talked to each other at that practice game we had, remember? He has changed, Kunimi. You know it."
Of course he knew it, and that was the thing that frustrated him the most. Why are you even covering for him, stupid shallot-head. It didn’t matter how much of a good person or player he became, it’d still be very difficult for Kunimi to forgive him. Nearly impossible, actually. It turned out he wasn’t as mentally strong as Kindaichi, and he noticed that his middle school experiences affected his play style in the worst way.
"Kunimi… can it be that… you’re jealous?"
Kunimi flinched. That was a surprising statement and it caught Kunimi unguarded. Jealous of what, he didn’t understand. Jealous of Kageyama and the positive changes happened to him? Maybe Kindaichi finally noticed his feeling and he was thinking he was jealous that he said good things about Kageyama? No, that was not possible, but Kunimi started to panic anyway.
"Jealous?" Kunimi was able to blurt finally and hoped he sounded normal, "What do you mean?"
"You know, seeing Kageyama getting along so well with his Karasuno friend… it looks like they’re more than just friends on top of it…"
"Kindaichi, I don’t understand where you’re going."
"Because… Kunimi," A hint of redness appeared on his cheeks, "you like Kageyama, don’t you?"
That was it. He couldn’t have said something worse. Kunimi felt rage rising inside him slowly, and it was very difficult to make Kunimi angry. He covered his eyes with one hand and tried to calm himself down. How on earth did Kindaichi get to this conclusion, Kunimi didn’t have the slightest idea. Kunimi liking Kageyama? A dry laugh escaped his mouth. It was just crazy.
"So it’s true after all?" Kindaichi asked hesitantly, "Because it always looked like you were the one most hurt from what he did in junior high."
Shut up.
"You’ve been somewhat obsessive about it, too…"
Shut up.
"And how you once said you think about not going to Aobajousai, wasn’t it because Kageyama decided not to got there?"
Shut up.
"Just shut up already!" Kunimi yelled. That was the worst. Kunimi thought it must be worst than being rejected. He didn’t know words can hurt so much, physical pain can’t ever compete against them.
"Kunimi?" Kindaichi sounded very frightened.
"Kindaichi… you’re so stupid. I’m going home."
And with that he walked away from there, disappearing in the crowd, not giving Kindaichi time to protest. He couldn’t bring himself to look at Kindaichi’s face or to hear his voice one more time. He was afraid that if he’d stay with him any longer, he’d just lose it for good and won’t be able to hold himself. All this time, all those years, Kindaichi thought he was in love with Kageyama. Kunimi couldn’t believe it. That was the worst. How can he ever confess his feelings, knowing Kindaichi thought those things about him.
At some point he started running, and for how long he didn’t know. When he came to it he realized the sky turned darker and the street lamps turned on. He found himself in a familiar place, near a park not so far from the school. He entered the park and walked around, trying to catch his breath, trying to think. His mind turned blank.
"Hey, isn’t it Kunimi?" Kunimi heard someone saying from a nearby bench.
"Kunimi, here! Over here!"
He turned his head to the bench and saw Matsukawa and Hanamaki sitting there, still in their school uniform. Kunimi thought he saw them holding hands for a moment, but it might’ve been his imagination. He really wasn’t in the mood for their teases, but he also desperately wanted someone to talk to… so he ended up approaching them. They immediately noticed something was wrong.
"Kunimi, what happened?" Hanamaki asked in an untypically serious voice, "Don’t tell me you’ve been turned down?!"
Technically he wasn’t, but it was worse than this. Suddenly he felt like he couldn’t hold himself anymore. He felt like those three years worth of feelings were about to crush him. However before anything could happen, Matsukawa grabbed Kunimi’s wrist and pulled him to the bench, settling him between himself and Hanamaki. They hugged him from both sides and patted his back and his head. At first he felt really uncomfortable, being comforted while sitting between those two huge guys who happened to be his very snarky upperclassmen, but to his surprise he found that it helped and he calmed down a little.
"Kunimi, what happened?" Matsukawa asked, trying to smile but his face was stiff.
"This stupid Kindaichi, I hate him."
No you don’t, he could tell what his upperclassmen were thinking, and they were right, but he continued anyway.
"He thinks I like Kageyama. I don’t know how he even got this crazy idea. Why would I ever need Kageyama when I have him?" his voice cracked a little. His upperclassmen exchanged worried looks.
"Kunimi, can you tell us exactly what happened?"
So he told them everything. The whole conversations and how it started in the first place.
"I see." Hanamaki said and grinned.
"Stop grinning, Hanamaki-san. It’s not funny."
"But Kunimi, think about it," Matsukawa interfered, "Wouldn’t you say Kindaichi have put a lot of thought to this matter? That’s already unusual in itself."
"That’s right. He noticed a whole lot of things about you. That means he has been looking at you carefully. He’s just so stupid he took it all to the wrong place."
It didn’t even cross Kunimi’s mind. But he realized that Kindaichi really said some things about him that couldn’t be noticed unless he have really observed Kunimi well and took notice to some very little details about him.
Could it be… no no no it wasn’t possible… but a little smile made its way to Kunimi’s face. Matsukawa and Hanamaki looked really relieved.
"You get it, Kunimi?"
"Probably." Kunimi answered and got up from the bench, "Thank you, Hanamaki-san, Matsukawa-san. You’re actually really great upperclassmen, you know."
"Hey!" They said together and laughed.
Kunimi thanked them again and headed back to his home. His brain ached from thinking too hard about what to do next. To call Kindaichi and ask him to meet immediately? To wait for tomorrow? And what if he was wrong about it all? Thinking about it again, what were the chances their feelings were mutual?
He started to get all confused again. He regretted he didn’t stay with Matsukawa and Hanamaki a bit longer and asked them what to do. With mind full of thoughts he got closer to his house and he could already see it. Then he saw someone standing in front of it and his heart skipped a beat when he noticed it was a tall figure with spiked hair.
It was Kindaichi, without a doubt. There was no place to run to. Kindaichi looked really happy to see Kunimi but he also seemed very nervous.
"Kunimi, I waited for you."
"I can see that. Have you waited long?"
"Well, at first I tried to follow you but I lost track of you very fast. So I came straight here…"
"I see." That meant he was waiting for a long time. Kunimi felt bad for him and he swore in his heart. Kindaichi was so kind and cute and manly to him, how he could even think he can love Kageyama over him. They just kept on standing in silent. Kunimi felt his feelings flooding his heart again, but he was able to keep his cool self.
"Kunimi…" Kindaichi was the first to talk again, "Are you angry at me?"
"…a little." Kunimi admitted.
"Can you please tell me why? Because I really don’t understand…"
"Because you said I liked Kageyama, you moron. Geez, how did you even get this idea inside your head?"
"You’re right, it’s stupid. After I said it out loud I realized how stupid it was. I’m sorry."
So simple. He apologized just like this. And how could Kunimi possibly not forgive him?
"It’s okay. I was also wrong to scream at you like this, you don’t deserve it, you’re a good guy. So let me say sorry too."
"You did nothing wrong. You don’t need to apologize. But thank you for forgiving me." He smiled a warm smile and Kunimi couldn’t help but smile back to him.
So that was it. They made up so it was all good, it was all back to normal, to the both of them being best friends. No need to try and change their relationship. But still, still… Kunimi couldn’t be satisfied with this for long. But being rejected, being thought of as disgusting, it was too horrifying.
"Kunimi." Kindaichi spoke and startled Kunimi a little, "So you really… don’t like Kageyama?"
This again?
"I already told you, I don’t like him. Not the slightest. Don’t say his name in front of me again."
"Then…" he continued and in the faint light of the street lamp Kunimi noticed his cheeks getting redder, "Do you have someone else you like?"
Was this for real? Or did he just imagine it? Kunimi felt his cheeks burning and he dropped his eyes to the ground, “Yes, I like someone.”
"I- I see." Kindaichi said and laughed nervously. No, don’t end it here, just when it finally felt like something was advancing…
"Kindaichi!!" Kunimi said, his mouth acting before his brain could follow, he wasn’t thinking about what he was going to say at all, "Kindaichi… do you have someone you like?"
Kindaichi’s body got all tense and his face even redder, and Kunimi got the inappropriate urge to laugh, “Y-Yes. It’s someone I know for a long time, but just recently I understood how much they really mean to me, how much I need them around me…”
This description, it couldn’t be… but he hadn’t stated anything clearly, so either Kunimi was wrong or Kindaichi didn’t want to tell. In both cases Kunimi had nothing he could do. He started to lose the little courage he’s gathered.
"That’s great Kindaichi," Kunimi said finally, "I’m really happy for yo-"
"I was really happy when you said you don’t like Kageyama!" Kindaichi yelled, "Really happy. And relieved. That was when I finally stopped denying my true feelings, and yours too. So…"
Without realizing what he was doing, Kunimi threw himself on Kindaichi and hugged him, his body moving on its own. He held him so tightly, like he was trying to make up for all the years he could do it, but didn’t. Kindaichi hugged back, embracing Kunimi in his long arms.
"Kindaichi," Kunimi buried his head in Kindaichi’s chest, speaking quietly, whispering, his voice muffled, "I like you… for so long… since middle school…"
"Yeah. I finally understand," Kindaichi said in a trembling voice, and Kunimi realized he was crying, "Damn it all, if I wasn’t so stupid and dense, we could’ve spent so much more time, hugging like this…"
Kunimi felt some of his warm tears falling on his head, and he lifted his face to look at the taller boy.
"I’m sorry, Kunimi, I’ve put you through some tough times, haven’t I?"
Kunimi nodded, “You sure did. But it doesn’t matter to me anymore. There were times I was seriously ready to live my whole life hiding my true feelings. I was so scared you would think I’m disgusting, or that you’d always see me a no more than a friend. So,” he raised his hands to Kindaichi’s face and wiped the tears from his eyes, “I’m simply happy we made it this far. We’ll take it slowly from now on, okay?”
Kindaichi nodded, smiled and stroked Kunimi’s dark hair, blushing again.
They didn’t know how things will go for them. They were still young and they would probably have so many trials to go through, considering the personalities of them both. But they made it this far, they made the first step.
Even though they’ve known each other for so long, one can say that for them, it was just the beginning.