Work Text:
Namjoon tightly held onto his child’s hand, protective over his son as he led the boy through the crowded mall. Strangers were rushing around, taking their chance at last-minute Christmas shopping, bags in hand, and panicked looks on some of their faces. Some of them were just hanging around, standing in groups, and chatting about the Holiday season. But it was the most lively place he had taken his son to since the start of the holiday season. He looked down at his son, Jungkook, the boy's wide eyes taking in the scene with awe. The shops around them were decorated with an array of wreaths, tinsels, and bells. Lights adorned the large support polls in the middle of the walkway, giving the whole area a festive glow.
Namjoon personally thought his son was a little too young for such a scene, the rushed, almost chaotic energy was enough to put him on edge. People never watched where they were going when they had bigger plans to attend to, and his three-year-old son was an easy target for running over. Maybe he was being a bit too cautious, a bit too paranoid, but he didn’t want Jungkook to get hurt, especially after being so excited about the whole endeavor.
They were only here to see Santa. Namjoon reminded himself. After waiting in line, it was going to be a quick in and out. Then they wouldn’t have to worry about inconsiderate crowds and possible kid snatchers.
“Look!” Jungkook lightly tugged on his hand, getting his attention. He looked to where his son was pointing to, which was a little fenced-in area absolutely full of holiday decor. A huge sign read ‘Santa’s Workshop’ and people dressed as elves were entertaining a small line. There were kids, Jungkook’s age and older, running around in a little play area. To top it all off, Santa was sitting just down a small walkway in the area, animatedly talking to another kid.
“That’s where Santa is.” Namjoon supplied the information. Jungkook immediately started bouncing on his feet, his little body practically vibrating with excitement.
“Really? Santa here?” Jungkook asked. Namjoon quietly chuckled at that, leading his son over to the line.
“Yeah, he’s here. But we have to wait like the other kids. Santa is busy meeting everyone else first.” Namjoon noticed Jungkook eying the other kids, “Do you want to play with them?”
Jungkook had always been detrimentally shy, so when he quickly shook his head in response, Namjoon wasn’t surprised. He sighed, gently patting Jungkook’s head. His fingers found their way through the boy’s hair, stroking his head in a soothing motion.
“You’d probably have a lot of fun if you did,” He tried convincing the toddler. He wanted him to make friends, grow up with some sort of social skills, but he wasn’t going to force him to do anything he wasn’t comfortable with. There was always another day for making friends.
He was only met with another shake of the boy’s head, a small pout on his face, “No.”
“Alright, then we will wait in line, okay?”
“Okay! I wait here.”
The line went by surprisingly quickly considering the number of kids waiting to visit with Santa. The worker elves, who were only trying their best to entertain them, only made Jungkook hide behind him even more, to which he shook his head and attempted to get his toddler to interact with them. He outright refused.
Namjoon really hoped this wasn’t going to be the situation with Santa. After waiting in line, navigating through the crowded mall, and even getting Jungkook some gingerbread man cookies from a vendor - he really hoped his son wouldn’t shy away from Santa. He wouldn’t be angry, no, not at all, his son’s reclusive nature was just how he was, and Namjoon hoped it would improve with time. He just didn’t like the prospect of wasting time, the time they could’ve spent building a snowman, or watching a movie instead. So maybe he was just going to be a little disappointed, but never angry. He was too soft for his little Jungkook.
Once it was Jungkook’s turn, however, he noticed the immediate hesitation. Namjoon crouched down to Jungkook’s level, resting a comforting hand on the boy’s back,”It’s just Santa. He knows you’ve been a good boy this year, so why don’t you tell him what you want?”
Santa was situated on a big, red, throne-like chair. There was a red carpet walkway, adorned with gold trim leading up to him, as if inviting the guests to walk the glamorous red carpet to meet him. The children were the stars of the occasion, after all. But the more Namjoon looked at Santa, the more he realized the man looked a little young around the eyes. The beard was clearly a fake, not that the kids would notice at all, and his belly fat looked a little too pillowy to be real. Now. Was Namjoon expecting the real Santa to be sitting there? Of course not. He was just observant, especially about who his child was meeting. Most places hire themselves a Santa lookalike, older men who grow out their beards and plump up for the Holiday season, solely to bring a little Christmas cheer to the world. But if Namjoon’s observations were correct, which they usually were, this man was young. He gave a small smile to Santa, to which he waved.
Jungkook glanced back to Namjoon once more before finally approaching Santa, his little feet carrying him closer in tiny steps. Namjoon quietly followed behind, watching his son closely. Jungkook stopped once he stood in front of the man, looking up at him from his place on the floor. Santa was sitting low enough that it wasn’t an awkward angle.
Namjoon wasn’t even going to try to convince the boy to sit on Santa’s lap. This was leaps out of Jungkook’s comfort zone anyway. He was proud enough as it was. Santa didn’t seem to have any issues with it either, from what Namjoon could tell, a warm glance sent from the man only solidifying it.
That was cute. No pushy workers. Respecting both parent and child boundaries. Namjoon was on board with that.
“Hohoho. Who do we have here? What’s your name?” Santa asked, straining his voice to be lower, putting on a show. Namjoon almost laughed at the concept of it, but he held it back, instead smiling at his little Jungkook attempting to communicate with him.
Jungkook shyly rocked on his feet, looking down at the floor. He watched the boy helplessly play with his fingers, looking up at Santa before finally proclaiming, “Jungkook!”
“Jungkook! What a nice name!” Santa complimented, causing an eruption of giggles from his son, “So, tell me, what do you want this Christmas?”
Jungkook looked back at Namjoon for help, to which he gave an encouraging nod, “Come on. Tell Santa what you want. Do you want some new books? Toys?”
Jungkook seemed to grow contemplative at that, turning back to Santa. He was silent, but Santa just smiled on, waiting for a reply.
“Hmm... I want a two dads!” Jungkook happily replied, holding up two fingers.
Namjoon didn’t know whether to be mortified, endeared, or saddened by the sudden proclamation. For one, that was not a normal thing a kid should be asking Santa for. It was cute, if a few of the worker elves sweetly laughing had anything to say about it. However, Jungkook did have another dad. Well, sort of. Not anymore. The child knew he had another dad when he was a baby, and Namjoon had explained to him in the most child-friendly way possible that his other dad wasn’t going to be back. This is what made it heart-wrenching.
You see, Namjoon once had himself a lifetime partner. They adopted Jungkook together, but… apparently, that wasn’t good enough for his partner. He left them. He left them and said he didn’t want anything to do with them. Blah blah blah. Sob story this, sob story that.
Namjoon pushed the memory down, trying to remind himself that it was in the past. He and Jungkook had already moved on, and the guy wasn’t worth sparing a thought about on such a happy occasion. Namjoon was not about to cry in the middle of Santa’s workshop in a crowded mall. Jungkook was wide-eyed and smiling bright, his childhood innocence was completely unaware of the heavy situation such a wish had brought upon his father.
“Another dad?” Santa inquired, keeping up with his theatrics. But Namjoon didn’t miss the way the man carefully eyed him for a moment, his gaze traveling up and down his body, heavily examining him. Oh god, don’t tell me I had to pick the one homophobic Santa in this whole town to visit too.
Jungkook nodded, “Yeah!”
There was a moment of silence, as if Santa had been lost for words. If he was, he wasn’t obvious about it, because the man quickly patched up the silence as if it never happened.
“I will see what I can do for you, Jungkook!” Santa gently pat Jungkook’s back, a jolly laugh coming from the man. “Is that all you want?”
If he is a homophobic Santa, I am glad he had the restraint to not say anything stupid in front of my kid. Dad would have to beat up Santa Claus, and that wouldn’t be a very fun memory.
“No.” Jungkook replied, “Books please!”
“I will make sure the elves get right on that, Jungkook,” Santa laughed again, “You take care, okay? I have to talk to some other little boys and girls.”
“Yeah!” The young boy nodded, quickly waddling his way back to Namjoon. He took his father’s hand unprompted, and Namjoon smiled, watching as Jungkook sent a little wave in Santa’s direction. “Bye-bye Santa!”
“Hohoho! Have a Merry Christmas!”
There was a brief moment of eye contact between the two, Santa practically staring into Namjoon’s poor soul. He couldn’t read the guy, not with all of the accessories covering him that came with dressing up as Santa. His eyes were warm, just crinkled the slightest bit in a smile. But there was something else behind it. So before he started to get the wrong idea about Santa possibly judging his gay ways, he mouthed a quick ‘thank you’ and lead Jungkook away from the scene.
Was it Namjoon’s first experience with a mall Santa? No, definitely not. Was it one of his most interesting? Yes. He would say so. He had Jungkook to thank for that.
“Ice cream yucky.”
“What do you mean the ice cream is yucky? We just got it a few minutes ago.”
Namjoon decided to treat Jungkook to the frozen treat shortly after they met with Santa. They were seated at a small booth in the corner of a dessert shop, the bustling energy of the mall still surrounding them through the nearby window.
“It’s melted.” Jungkook pouted, displaying his bowl.
Indeed, the ice cream was mostly melted. It probably wasn’t the brightest idea to get ice cream in the heated air of the mall, but who could resist? The once fully formed scoops had turned into a gooey mess, liquified in all of the wrong ways.
“That doesn’t mean it’s yucky, Jungkook.” He picked up the boy's spoon, which was lying haphazardly on the edge of the bowl. “Here, take your spoon and mix it up, melted ice cream isn’t that bad.”
“No!” Jungkook shoved the bowl further onto the table. “It’s nasty!”
“Come on. You can at least try it.”
“Nonono!” His son fiercely shook his head.
“How about this…” Namjoon started, “If you eat just a little bit more of your ice cream, I will take you to the play area.”
Jungkook perked up at that.
The play area was a small, renovated room of the mall. It was once some sort of perfume shop, but the mall saw profit in creating it into a sort of ‘babysitting area.’ It now housed all sorts of toys, books, and educational games - all of which were free to play with. There were also workers who got engaged with the kids, watching them and playing with them while parents did their shopping. Namjoon had left Jungkook there a few times, the times when he couldn’t get anyone to watch his son to do some shopping.
Jungkook had expressed it ‘was the mostest fun ever’ and sort of begged for the opportunity to go back one day. Namjoon obviously wasn’t opposed to this, especially today, a day that was supposed to be a fun-filled day for his son. Plus, he knew you didn’t have to just drop your kid off to let them play. There were benches specifically for parents, and the few times he had stopped by he had seen parents engaging with their youngsters. Today just happened to be a perfect opportunity, especially after the tantrum he sensed coming on.
“Really?” Jungkook asked, eying the ice cream once again.
Namjoon laughed quietly, “Really. But you have to eat a little more, before it really gets melted.”
Jungkook seemed to be contemplative, silently staring at the bowl with a long face. But it didn’t take much longer for a decision to be made, his little hands reaching out to bring the bowl closer to him. He grabbed the spoon, doing his best to scoop up the half-melted ice cream.
Namjoon was a man of his word, so when Jungkook ate all he could, he quickly cleaned him up and took him back across the mall.
The play area was surprisingly empty considering the number of people at the mall. There were a handful of kids inside, a few occupied by parents, but other than that it seemed desolate. Namjoon wondered if it was because people didn’t want to bring their kids out into the chaotic energy of the mall right now, or they had no need for the space because they had already found babysitters for their holiday shopping.
Either way, the lack of people was actually preferred. It was easier to keep up with Jungkook that way.
When they walked inside, no one seemed to pay any mind to them. A few of the kids were messing with a train set in the corner, building tracks to push their little wooden trains on. Some others were going berserk on a carpet that had a little road design on it, kids pushing their cars to their heart’s content. Some of the parents were engaged, some were sitting on the benches against the wall, and some children had no parents to be seen. There was a worker, a woman in a bright red shirt, actively playing with some of the children who didn’t have a parent. She seemed to be teaching them the alphabet with some lettered building blocks.
Jungkook was tugging on his hand, desperately pointing at something, “Dada, I want play with blocks!”
“You want to play with the blocks?” He parroted. Jungkook quickly nodded.
“Okay, go ahead, but don’t leave my sight, alright?” Namjoon let go of the boy’s hand. Jungkook immediately ran over to some building blocks that were currently unoccupied by anyone, he sat on the ground, pulling the blocks closer to him before beginning to build what looked like a wonky tower. The bright blue flooring contrasted heavily with the colorful blocks, every detail intricately defined, even from far away. Namjoon considered joining him, but Jungkook was a little stingy. Being an only child, he struggled with sharing and letting his ideas be altered. He knew the boy would much rather play alone. He smiled as he watched his son play, finally ready to go sit down.
“He’s adorable.” A voice suddenly appeared beside him. Namjoon jerked his head to the side, startled by the sudden appearance.
There was a man, a bright red uniform on and a small smile on his face. He had shiny black hair, dark eyes, and plump lips. His whole demeanor was calm, regal even.
“Yeah, he is,” Namjoon replied, unsure of what else to say. Jungkook was adorable, his shy personality aside, he was a tiny kid, so of course he was.
“When he said he wanted two dads, I nearly combusted on the spot. I didn’t know his current parent was so… eye-catching though.” The man said, eying Namjoon up and down.
Do what.
“I’m sorry, what?”
“Wait! Sorry!” The man was suddenly wide-eyed, putting his hands up defensively, “I wasn’t trying to be weird, I promise.”
Namjoon furrowed his brows, watching the man scramble to rectify his words. For one, how did this guy know about the two dads thing? He didn’t recall seeing him around Santa’s workshop. For two, did the guy just flirt with him? Is that what that was? Or was he misinterpreting things?
His brain suddenly felt like scrambled eggs and toast, and he was struggling to eat all of the pieces.
“Sorry.” The man looked apologetic. He glanced off to the side, in the direction of all of the playsets before meeting Namjoon’s eyes once more, “I was… y’know.. the big red guy earlier.”
“You?” Namjoon spluttered out.
Look, Namjoon liked to think he had an eye for people. He had come to the conclusion over the years that he was far more observant than most people, and his love for the arts had only proven such a thing. He was a master at picking things apart and finding beauty amongst the strangest of things.
Even so, he struggled to comprehend that this relatively attractive guy was the Santa his son interacted with earlier.
“Yes!” The man confirmed. He continued to speak, explaining the situation, “My name is Seokjin, and it’s sort of a double job for me since I work here at the mall. It’s right up my alley since, well… kids.”
“Oh. That makes sense then. You must enjoy it?”
“I do.” Seokjin smiled, “Spreading the holiday cheer is fun. So many kids actually confide in Santa. I get to meet all sorts of cute kids.”
He motioned to the room around them. Namjoon watched him put on a huge, animated smile, waving to Jungkook, who was now looking at them both from a distance. Seokjin turned back towards him, his eyes crinkled, a hint of mischievousness seeping in.
“I get to meet their cute parents too.”
Namjoon’s first thought was...
Oh? So he wasn’t a homophobic Santa?
His second thought was something along the lines of…
Cute? Did he just call me cute? Oh my god. What?
”Thank you, I guess? I mean, you aren’t so bad yourself,” Namjoon stumbled over his words, feeling his neck and cheeks burn with a sudden blush, “I mean, wait, you’re nice looking, I guess. Very attractive. Sort of. No. That sounds bad…”
Seokjin chuckled, a hand against his mouth, “I get it. Thank you.”
Namjoon was a mess, to say the least. It had been years since he had received a compliment so brazenly. Since Jungkook was a newborn. Since his ex. He didn’t know how to act, what to think, or what to do. Was it just an innocent comment? No, it couldn’t have been. Not with the way he said it.
“I’m sorry if that’s too much for you,” Seokjin said, “But I do think you’re cute. It’s only an honest truth.”
“That’s… it’s okay. It’s just a lot.” Namjoon replied, a small, nervous chuckle falling from his lips.
“I’ve heard a lot about you from Jungkook, actually.”
Namjoon looked at him like he was a madman. Jungkook? Unless the man slipped into their house at night and begged to hear stories about him from Jungkook, there was no way.
Seokjin stared at him in silence, narrowing his gaze before speaking again.
“I work here, dummy. I can already see your brain conjuring up ideas,” Seokjin rolled his eyes, “and Jungkook has been here a few times, has he not?”
Oh. That’s right. Jungkook had indeed been there a few times. Namjoon had never stuck around for more than a couple of seconds, so it wasn’t like he would remember Seokjin either.
“So you’ve met him before?”
“Yep!” Seokjin laughed, “When he came running up to me earlier, I nearly wanted to break character. He is such a sweet kid. Really shy though. The few times he was here he was always playing alone, so I made it a mission to talk to him. Which may have been a mistake, he talks about you constantly and never hesitates to find me.”
“Really?” That was new information to him. Jungkook had a daycare he was sent to when Namjoon went into work, but if his son decided to talk about him and only him, his daycare teacher had never said anything about it. But then again, she was focusing on ten kids at once. Seokjin supposedly had some one-on-one time with him.
“Oh yeah, and he made sure to tell me all of the gritty details.” Seokjin suddenly stopped talking. He seemed to subtly grimace, his shoulders dropping their initial perk as he motioned to the benches by the wall, “Sorry. Would you like to sit down? I’m sure you’ve had enough of being on your feet today.”
Namjoon came to the conclusion that Seokjin was entertaining. He was kind too, from what he could tell. Anyone who can work with kids for a living has a heart of gold in Namjoon’s mind. So when he found himself not wanting the conversation to end, it came as a surprise, but a welcomed one. Whether it was the man’s attractiveness, his bold attitude, or Namjoon’s loneliness slowly creeping back in, he had no idea. But he was curious. He wanted to know more. Unsurprisingly, Namjoon was a fan of doing research to satisfy his curiosities.
“Can you join me?” He asked, hesitant, hoping he wasn’t making a mistake, “You could tell me about all of those supposedly gritty details?”
Seokjin’s demeanor changed at that, seemingly perking up, “Really? Sure, I’d love to join you.”
They joined each other on one of the benches, and Seokjin didn’t hesitate to explain some of the things Jungkook had told him, some details more embarrassing than others. The stories ranged from ‘dada works at a library’ to ‘dada burned dinner one night and the fire department was called’ all of which had to be translated from their original telling, which was all done in Jungkook’s toddler language. It coaxed a few laughs out of Namjoon, as well as Seokjin, bonding over what was now a shared experience. Namjoon found himself adding to the details, clearing his name along with telling this friendly stranger about some of the stories in his own words. It was surprisingly enjoyable. Namjoon was having fun.
“He also told me that you’re single, not exactly his words but… I figured it out, but he didn’t tell me why. You seem like a great guy that anyone would be lucky to catch.”
“My ex left us both.” Namjoon began to explain. He took in a deep breath, ready to spill the story of his greatest heartbreak, “Things were great for a long time. We adopted Jungkook together, well sort of, my name was the only one that went on the papers since it wasn’t legal for us to do it as a couple. Anyway, he was just a newborn at the time. But just months later, I got a call from him explaining that he actually had a wife overseas, and he was going to have to return to her before she found out. He told me to never contact him again, and just... left. Like it was nothing.”
Seokjin had a hand placed over his mouth in shock, his eyes wide in disbelief, “What kind of terrible scum of a human being...”
“I know. I’ve completely moved on for the most part. My heart was broken for the longest time, but parenting Jungkook has really helped me overcome it. It still hurts, really bad. I feel like a fool for ever getting involved with him. But it’s in the past, and he has nothing to do with us now.” Namjoon sighed.
“You’re not a fool,” Seokjin said softly. Those words, albeit simple, struck a certain chord in Namjoon. It gave him warm shivers, if that was even possible, “Some people are just horrible. He didn’t even say anything in person? I would’ve tracked him down and fought him on the streets if he did that to me.”
Namjoon quietly laughed. He had heard similar things from his friends before, but Seokjin’s kind, child-loving demeanor didn’t exactly fit throwing hands in the street. “Oh trust me, I tried to find him. But he was completely unreachable. It’s good that only my name is on Jungkook’s adoption papers, because now I hope I never run into his sorry face again.”
“If I were you, I’d be waiting for the moment I saw him again just so I could beat him up. I have no remorse for people like that. Actually, if you ever happen to see him again, give me a call.”
“Violent.” Namjoon teased.
“I’m not!” Seokjin whined, “If I can’t defend the hottest DILF in this establishment from a horrible human, then what use do I have?”
“...Did you…” Namjoon froze, his face now burning with blush, “Did you just call me a DILF?”
“Maybe I did,” Seokjin replied confidently, his arms crossed. But Namjoon didn’t miss the way he glanced around, unable to meet him in the eye.
Namjoon wasn’t big on taking chances. He liked to do things when the odds were in his favor, or when he could gauge how the situation would turn out. In this case, neither of those things were an option. This was out of his zone, and he would even go as far as to say that someone like Seokjin was out of his league. But he couldn’t pass such an opportunity up, not when he was enjoying it, not when he was having so much fun that he didn’t know how to act anymore. He did his best to settle his buzzing nerves, deciding to roll with the punches. If Seokjin was going to be so utterly confident with his words, Namjoon figured he should give it a shot too. Test the waters, see where things lead.
“Is that usually how you go about flirting with people?”
“I wasn’t flirting!” Seokjin suddenly grew defensive, but his shoulders dropped once he noticed Namjoon was looking right through him, “Okay, maybe I was but… in all seriousness, you’re cute. Not just physically but… I’ve enjoyed talking to you. And honestly, I’d love to get to know you more if you gave me a chance?”
“Are you asking me out on a date?” Namjoon asked, his heart, which had been surprisingly calm up until this point, was pounding. He could feel his pulse in his fingertips, his hands feeling much more jelly-like than before.
“If you’d like to go on one with me.”
“Your confidence is astounding,” He commented, breathless, to which Seokjin smiled.
“Fake it until you make it.” Seokjin said, “You’d be surprised.”
That piqued Namjoon’s curiosity, once again feeling drawn to the other, craving to learn more. But was he even ready to go on a date with someone? A somewhat stranger, nonetheless? Sure, it had been years since the whole fiasco that shattered his heart into pieces. Sure, he had mostly gotten over the whole thing. But was his heart ready? He didn’t know if getting into all of this was such a good idea. But then again, Seokjin seemed quite genuine. One little date wouldn’t hurt. He wasn’t jumping off into the deep end of the pool first thing. It was just talking. Yeah. Maybe he could deal with it. Jungkook also approved from what he knew, that was also a huge green flag.
He thought for just a few moments more before making a decision.
“Then I’ll accept that date offer. Can I have your number?”
Seokjin seemed to be a little stunned at that, his mouth opening and closing aimlessly. It strangely felt good to have such an attractive man speechless in front of him.
“Dada talk to Jinnie?” A little voice appeared beside them, to which they both turned to look. There stood Jungkook, two toy cars firmly grasped in both hands as he innocently looked up at them.
“Jinnie?” Namjoon asked, giving Seokjin a mischievous side-eye.
Seokjin began to turn red, starting at the ears before it settled out in his cheeks, “Hush. It’s easier for the kids to pronounce.” He watched as the man attempted to shake it off, instead addressing the newfound appearance of his son. “Hi, Jungkook, what do you have there?”
“Cars!” Jungkook proudly proclaimed, smiling as he held them up.
“Cars! Isn’t that just amazing!” Seokjin moved off of the bench, instead kneeling down on the floor, level with Jungkook. He held his hand out to the boy, “May I see one?”
Jungkook looked at Seokjin’s hand, his face scrunching up, “Give it back?”
Seokjin chuckled, “Mhm! I’ll give it back. I promise.”
Jungkook hesitated, but he eventually set one of the cars into Seokjin’s palm. Seokjin gave him a smile, setting the car on the ground. “Thank you. Okay! Watch closely! You see that table in the corner?”
“Yeah!”
“I want you to go grab this car for me when it rolls over there, can you do that for me?”
“Jinnie gonna push it?”
“Mhm!” Seokjin confirmed, “Ready? One, two, three… go!”
Seokjin quickly pushed the toy with a bit of force behind it, and the car easily rolled across the carpet with its large wheels. Its path ended exactly to where the man said it would, an unoccupied table in the corner. Jungkook immediately began giggling, chasing after the thing with only the energy a toddler could possess. Namjoon felt his cheeks hurt as he watched the cute ensemble play out, his little Jungkookie more entertained than ever.
“Quick, hand me your phone.”
“What?” Namjoon snapped out of the toddler-induced haze he had been thrown into. Seokjin was still situated on the floor, looking back at him.
“So I can give you my number?” Seokjin pointedly replied, “That won’t occupy him for long.”
“Oh! Right, sorry.”
Namjoon sheepishly did what he was told, pulling his phone out of his pocket and handing it to Seokjin. The man was quick as he typed in his number, his fingers moving at a speed that Namjoon could hardly process. Impressive, dare he say. The phone was back in his possession the moment Jungkook had returned, reciting a mantra of: ‘Again again again!’
Seokjin could only comply.
The days following the whole escapade were filled with Namjoon typing out a message, only to delete it moments afterward. His anxiety was getting the best of him, and he was losing the battle against it.
Reflecting back on the whole situation with Seokjin made him nervous. The man was interestingly clever, had a heart made of gold and a face to match. Not once did he feel uncomfortable during their interaction. Maybe a little confused or embarrassed at points, but it never fell into the realm of being uncomfortable for him. Seokjin had such an open, kindhearted energy. It pulled Namjoon in like a magnet. It was too good to be true.
Just like his ex.
Obviously, he didn’t know much else about the man besides what he had told him that day, but that is what a date is for. Getting to know someone. No hard feelings. No strings attached if things don’t go the way they are intended to.
But Namjoon eventually caved in, he fought back against the anxieties plaguing him and sent Seokjin a message. Things were only uphill from there.
Seokjin said something about having thought that Namjoon completely ghosted him, to which Namjoon was quick to apologize. The response was a heap of laughing emojis, along with Seokjin consoling him, telling him it was all okay. They also made plans. Actual plans to meet up somewhere and do something, there was a time and date set.
But Seokjin refused to tell him where he planned to take him. He just gave him the address to a local coffee shop, told Namjoon to meet him there, and afterward, the real date could start.
When Namjoon showed up at the location, he had no idea how he should’ve dressed. But he dressed warmly, bundled up in a long coat and a red scarf. Seokjin was already there, waiting for him at one of the tables. He looked absolutely breathtaking. Namjoon quite literally felt his breath hitch in his throat at the sight of him, swallowing his budding nerves.
Seokjin sat there, dressed in a form-fitting black turtleneck, his coat neatly folded up next to him as he scrolled on his phone. He had round glasses on, and they framed his face so strangely perfect. Namjoon felt his whole mind go blank as he approached.
“Hi.” He said, unsure of how to approach.
Seokjin looked up at him, smiling once he noticed who was talking to him.
“Hi yourself.” He replied, “Do you like hot chocolate? I ordered you a cup.”
Namjoon looked at the table, noticing the steaming cup of hot chocolate sitting there, untouched and ready to drink. The sentiment was sweet. Cute. Whatever positive adjective Namjoon could possibly think of. He hadn’t even arrived yet, and Seokjin had already politely ordered something for him. He was thinking of Namjoon. It made his heart melt just a little.
“I do.” Namjoon smiled. He moved to sit down across from him, sliding into the booth seat with ease. The cup was warm in his hand as he brought it closer to him, “Thank you. It’s really nice of you.”
“You’re in for a real treat if you think that’s nice.” Seokjin chuckled, endeared.
“Oh? What else do you have planned for me?” Namjoon lightly teased, raising a brow.
“You’ll just have to see. So tell me, how has life been since you last saw me?”
The conversation took off from there, wild and untamed. Things were different this time around, there were no children around to worry about, this wasn’t an outing specifically for his own, and Seokjin was more unfiltered than ever. Seokjin explained that he had actually been working towards a master's degree in culinary arts, and that he would eventually quit his job at the mall once he accomplished it. It was more ambitious than Namjoon could ever be, juggling a job and parenting a kid alone didn’t leave much room for pursuing such things. He admired the freedom Seokjin seemed to have. He admired the way that even though he could do practically anything he wanted as a side job, he still chose to deal with children.
It made his heart feel unusually warm.
Things wrapped up rather quickly at the cafe. Seokjin happened to glance at the time on his phone and nearly jumped out of his seat, startling Namjoon.
“We are going to be late!” He exclaimed. “Come on!”
Namjoon had to hastily gather up his things, which consisted of the nearly empty cup of hot chocolate, and his jacket which he had slid off at some point during their conversation. Seokjin didn’t hesitate to grab his hand and lead him out the door of the establishment, making Namjoon feel as though he was zapped with electricity at the simple touch. They rushed down the sidewalk to a nearby park, both of them ushering out hushed apologies as they made their way through the holiday crowd.
The park was absolutely stunning. The city had decided to decorate it for Christmas, a flashy display of lights, bows, and bells all over the area. The footpath had a canopy of white lights strung over it,
“I’m so sorry. I lost track of time and…” Seokjin started to speak, breathless, “They shut the lights off at a certain time. I didn’t want to miss it.”
Namjoon could understand why.
“Was this your secret date idea that you wouldn’t dare let me in on?” Namjoon teased, a smile on his face as he stepped forward.
“Yes!” Seokjin pursed his lips beside him, “Is it boring?”
“No! No, it isn’t. It’s beautiful.” It really was. The cold winter air somehow added to the already ethereal glow that the lights were putting off, making the whole scene seem like it came out of a whimsical Christmas movie. Namjoon gladly examined each bush, each tree, and each tiny fence post that was decorated to the nines. It truly was something to marvel at.
“Well, come on then!”
Seokjin led him down the canopied footpath, and it was at this point that Namjoon realized that they were still holding hands. He felt his face grow warm in the frosty air, silently hoping it wasn’t noticeable. He didn’t have the heart to let go, so he instead gave Seokjin’s hand a gentle squeeze.
Seokjin squeezed back.
“I’ve actually never taken someone on a date before.” Seokjin suddenly admitted. The dirt path crunched softly beneath their feet, and Namjoon finally noticed the layer of frost accumulating on the ground. He looked down to his feet, the other male continuing to speak, “I have always been on the receiving end of things.”
“Really?” Namjoon questioned, “Well, I think you’ve done a fantastic job considering.”
“I wanted to impress you.”
That made Namjoon look back up, his gaze traveling to Seokjin. Seokjin was eying him back, shy, angling his face so that Namjoon couldn’t see the whole thing.
“I don’t know what you think is so worthy to impress,” Namjoon said. It was an admission of sorts. His anxiety seeped through the cracks. He didn’t think he’d ever entirely be the same after his last partner. He didn’t feel worthy of such treatment, such kind words. He was an idiot for not seeing the truth. He was an idiot for believing in something too good to be true.
He feared he was making the same mistake here.
“Oh come on, don’t give me that.” Seokjin said, “I’ve told you before. You’re cute. Now that I know you a little better, you’re extremely smart on top of that. You’re strong too, and I mean mentally, not physically. Though you do have some muscles I would like to see in action sometime.”
Strange. Despite the fact that Seokjin wasn’t being too serious with his words, it was almost exactly what he needed to hear. He let himself succumb to the feeling it brought him, floating in an unadulterated happiness.
“You are too.” Namjoon quietly mumbled in response, “Smart. Cute. Anything else nice.”
Seokjin’s whole body seemed to stiffen at that, his shoulders relaxing shortly afterward, “Are you trying to sweet talk me?”
Namjoon chuckled at that.
“Do you want me to?”
“How about you do another date?” Seokjin suggested. He stopped them in their tracks, turning towards Namjoon. He could only follow the other man’s lead.
“Another one?”
Seokjin seemed to take in a deep breath, his chest rising and falling with it. He took Namjoon’s other hand in his, sending sparks flying down his spine. Seokjin gently held both of his hands in front of him, his thumb playing with one of the palms.
“I would love to take you on another date if you allowed me to. Maybe we can do something more than just talk… do you like arcades?” Seokjin quietly questioned, the inquiry so soft, as if him speaking alone could break Namjoon. “You could even bring Jungkook with you. I know it must be a hassle to find someone to watch him.”
Was there anything wrong with this man? Namjoon questioned himself, his chest feeling tight with a fuzzy feeling as he looked at Seokjin. It was the beginning of something great, the first surge in his heart that started the overbearing flood of feelings yet to come. He smiled. The decision was easy.
“I would love to.”
Christmas Morning, Five years Later
“Love, wake up.”
Soft lips pressed against Namjoon’s jawline, traveling up his cheek and to his lips. He let out a sleepy groan, his arms pulling the body next to him even closer, tightly wrapped around the figure’s thin waist.
“Joonie.” A voice said, body shaking with giggles, “It’s Christmas.”
Fuck. That was right. Christmas.
Namjoon halfway jumped up at the sound of that, his vision blurry, his eyes crusted with sleep as he tried to focus on the world around him.
Seokjin sat next to him, hair messy and his hand covering his mouth in an attempt to be quiet. So so endeared.
“Where’s Jungkook?” Namjoon asked, rubbing his eyes.
“Still asleep. So be quiet,” Seokjin replied, “I actually put out the presents last night before I came to bed. But… I wanted to spend time with my husband.”
“Aren’t you just a cheese ball this morning…” Namjoon teased, a smile on his face and a brow raised in curiosity, ”Still into playing Santa after all of these years, huh?”
Seokjin lightly slapped his shoulder in response, bashful, “Oh shut up. You better be glad I was Santa or I wouldn’t have had a reason to talk to you.”
“I suppose you’re right,” Namjoon admitted, recalling that fateful day. It was surprising, really. He hadn’t expected anything like this to happen in his life, much less happen the way it did. He quietly chuckled at the memory, “To be honest, I thought you were homophobic at first.”
“What?”
“Yeah, you kind of stared me down after Jungkook said he wanted two dads. I thought you were judging me.”
“Namjoon. Have you seen your thighs when you wear tight pants like that?” Seokjin pointed to the thighs in question, his hand coming to rest on one, “I was checking you out. I remember it vividly.
“Oh? Were you now?” Namjoon’s hand came to rest atop of Seokjin’s, dragging it further upwards. He could feel the cool metal of Seokjin’s ring under his palm, his stomach exploding with butterflies at the welcomed reminder, “Mind telling me the details?”
Namjoon’s heart was pounding like it was all of those years ago. Nothing had changed one bit. Seokjin’s face turned a shade of pink, beginning at his ears and traveling down his neck. He looked beautiful, as enticing as ever. He could see Seokjin’s chest rise and fall with quickening breaths, their eyes locking just for the moment. Namjoon felt so euphoric.
“It’s Christmas!” A shout came from down the hall, both of the men practically flinging away from each other. Light footsteps bounded down the hall, and the two of them shared a knowing look.
The promise of Christmas wishes, warm food, presents, and cozy feelings spurred them on. With Jungkook awake, it was only the beginning of another Christmas that both of them planned to make just as memorable.
“Well, let’s get this show on the road, shall we?”