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I don't know what to say
I don't know what to do
But all I wanted to do was to ask for your love
I don't know if I dare
It’s been two weeks since Ace sent Nancy the text to meet her. It’s been two weeks since her heart was filled with joy which was quickly followed by disappointment and regret. Regret that she hadn’t figured out he would never stand her up. Regret that she kissed Agent Park. So, with the New Year around the corner, Nancy was filled with all these what-ifs and a whole basket of woulda, coulda, shoulda. She sat on her bed wringing her hands and staring at her phone. Not a single text since he’d returned. They’d seen each other of course. She remembered the feel of him gently pushing her away as she threw her arms around him once they were able to get him back from the other realm. Ace didn’t yell or scream; that wasn’t his style. Instead, he quietly iced you out and that was crueler than any amount of screaming. At least if he had yelled, she could have said something to him. But the iciness chilled her to the bone and bruised her heart. Nancy picked up her phone and started to compose a text, but she didn’t know what to say. It was nearly 9pm and she needed to know if he would be at Bess’s party. It was supposed to be a celebration of all they had survived this year. Deep in the recesses of her mind, Nancy knew she wouldn’t have made it through without her friends– especially one in particular. His quiet strength made her feel as though she could weather any storm.
A shiver ran down her spine as she heard a small knock on the door. She looked up and walked slowly to the door. She opened it and he is standing there like she had somehow managed to summon his presence by sheer force of will. His hands were stuffed in his pockets and his steely blue eyes were downcast.
“Hey,” he muttered softly.
Nancy instinctively moved out of the way and opened the door wider, gesturing for him to come inside. He sat on her bed as he looked up at her with sad eyes. She smiled down at him.
“We should probably talk,” she said.
“We should.”
“I’m sorry,” they said in unison. Nancy laughed at how even now they were somehow in sync. She sat down beside him.
“Let me go first, Ace.” He nodded and watched her intently. The familiarity of his gaze filled her up with warmth.
“I should have known that you would never break a promise to me unless something really important had happened. I’m also sorry you had to see...”
Ace stopped her by placing his hand on her thigh. “Don’t. I’d rather not remember.”
Nancy had so much to tell him, but she had no idea where to start. So, she licked her lips and started again. “This thing between us has been simmering for a long time.”
“It has,” he said as he laced his fingers with hers. “I’m sorry it's taken me so long to work up the courage.”
Nancy looks up at him curiously. “How long?”
“Full disclosure?” he asked as he inched closer to her. Nancy could feel his thumb running circles on her palm as he looked at her softly.
“Yes,” she croaked. Nancy took a moment to catch her breath.
“Probably from that first day you started working at The Claw. You were late, as usual, and had the saddest look on your face and all I wanted to do was make you smile.” Ace reached over and caressed her cheek. “There was always this magnet force drawing me to you.”
Her breath was coming out in a hushed tone as she lifted her hands to his face. She ran her fingers along his jawline and down his throat. Ace leaned over and kissed her until all the breath had left her body. Nancy deepened the kiss and her hands moved to the nape of his neck and into the soft tendrils of his hair. She smiled into the kiss and soon he was pushing her down on the bed. His arm wrapped around her waist pulling her closer to him. He slid his hand under her sweater and the feel of his hand against her warm flesh sent another shiver through her. Ace grabbed her waist and pulled her on top of him. Nancy straddled his hips and ran kisses along his neck as she pulled on his pullover. Ace sat up with Nancy in his lap and pulled his sweater off and to the side. He sighed when Nancy slid her hands along the planes of his chest.
“This feels even better than my dreams,” she muttered.
“You dreamt of me?” he asked with a lilt of overconfidence in his voice. “Tell me more.”
Nancy wrapped her arms around him and whispered, “You were wonderfully attentive.”
“Details. Vagueness will be of no value,” he said huskily as he reached for her pink sweater. But Nancy swatted his hands away.
“I don’t want to rush this; to rush us.”
Ace sighed. He knew she was right, but the other part of him just wanted to be with her. She touched his face and said, “Sex has always come so easy. It’s been a sort of escape. But I don’t want to escape. I want it to last; for us to last.”
Ace placed his hand on top of hers and said, “I’m not going anywhere.” She looked into his eyes for some sign that this wasn’t real and just a figment of her imagination. But, all she saw was the steadiness of his gaze and a look of adoration that she couldn’t believe was reserved for her.
(Is this real? If it's a dream, I don’t want to wake up.)
The sound of an alarm going off in the distance shook Nancy and she sat upright in bed, beads of sweat pouring down her face. She felt the spot next to her only to realize that it was empty.
(So, it was just a dream)
Nancy sighed with frustration. She looked at the clock and it read 9:30pm. It felt so real. She should have known Ace wouldn’t come to her so easily. He was still angry and she doubted that he would ever forgive her. Bess stormed into her room interrupting her thoughts.
“What are you still doing in bed? People have already started arriving,” she said as she pulled on Nancy’s arms. Nancy resisted and threw the covers over her again.
Bess sat down next to her friend and said, “You can’t figure things out if you hide up here. Plus, he is downstairs setting up.”
Nancy slowly pulled the covers down, “He’s here?” Bess nodded her head and pulled a dress from her closet and placed it at the foot of the bed.
“Wear that. Trust me,” she said before going downstairs.
Nancy got out of bed and looked at the dress that Bess had pulled out of her closet. It was a short black dress with silver sequins. She picked up the dress and held it to her body.
(It is a pretty dress.)
It took Nancy a little over an hour to finish getting ready. She’d put on a little makeup and wore her favorite heels before heading down the stairs. Ace had just walked back into the house carrying a box of drinks from his car when he saw her. He looked up at Nancy, completely mesmerized by her. His eyes were drawn to the long expanse of legs she had on display. Ace felt the box loosen in his grip and Nick approached him just in time.
“Just talk to her,” Nick whispered.
Ace didn’t say anything because his throat had gone dry. Once she descended the steps, he smiled at her and said, “You look good.”
Nancy smiled softly at him and pulled on his tie. “You too.”
Ace licked his lips and said, “I should help Nick. He needs me.”
Nancy blinked in confusion. She thought that maybe the ice had finally melted and that they could talk, but he practically ran from her.
Ace found Nick and George in the kitchen talking softly to one another. “What are you doing back here?” Nick insisted. “Go talk to her. This is getting ridiculous.”
George rolled her eyes and walked over to her friend and grabbed him by the hand. She led him to where Nancy was standing talking to one of her dads. “He needs to say something to you.”
Ryan excused himself and Carson went looking for Jean. But, Nancy and Ace both knew it was a ploy to leave them alone. Nancy crossed her arms and said, “it’s okay you can go run away again.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Nancy glared at him and stormed away from him and headed outside to the porch. She heard the door click behind her and knew that he had come looking for her.
“I’m sorry.”
“Are you? You seem really happy with the status quo.”
Ace placed his hand on her shoulder and said, “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just…”
She turned to face him, tears brimming in her eyes. “I know I messed up but I was hurt. I thought you’d stood me up.”
“I know and I was hurt. It was so hard to watch. But I know you weren’t trying to hurt me.”
“Then why the silence?” she asked.
Ace stuffed his hands in his pockets and looked up at the small flecks of snow that were beginning to fall. He shrugged out of his jacket and placed it around her shoulders.
“Thanks,” Nancy mumbled as she watched him carefully.
“I think I was just scared, Nance. I’ve held these feelings for you for so long that I thought I’d lost my chance. Then, I just got angry and like a stubborn fool I held on to it like a shield. But it didn’t change anything.”
Nancy looked at him wearily. She shivered despite the warmth of his tweed jacket around her shoulders. He inched closer to her and she could see that something had shifted between them at that moment. “Are you still angry?” she whispered.
He placed his warm hand on her cheek and shook his head. Ace tilted his head and placed his lips on hers. Nancy’s hand traveled to his waist, pulling him closer and deepened the kiss. Ace ran his fingers through her long red hair and closed his eyes, and got lost in the feel of her. The door creaked open and they turned to see their friends smiling back at them.
Ace shooed them away with his hand and wrapped Nancy in his arms again. They stood there until they heard the faint sound of voices ringing in the New Year in the background. Ace turned to Nancy and said, “I love you, Nance. Happy New Year.”
Nancy smiled and said it back. Her heart was full of love and hope for the first time in a long time. “You made my year better, Ace.”