Archive of Our Own

But if there is one thing Jeon Jungkook is not good at, it would be realizing that the love of his life, Kim Namjoon, has feelings for him. Romantic feelings.

The 'I'm so in love with you, I wanna squeeze your cheeks and cuddle you for days after making love with you' kind of feelings and not the 'I love you like a brother only, sorry for not being able to love you back in that way' kind.

And because of that, Jungkook's hyungs, including the leader, have to suffer through his obliviousness. 

Seokjin

Jungkook is his baby. It's a literal fact and he will fight anyone who says differently, no matter how buff the kid has become and no matter how bratty he is. Jin may have been the fifth member to join BTS, but it hadn't taken him five minutes to figure out that the baby of the group had an infatuation with their leader. Back then even Namjoon himself had acknowledged Jungkook's crush on him and he, like Seokjin, had regarded the boy's feelings as just that: a mere boy crush that will eventually pass. It was a good decision at the time since the group was in an important time to debut, so a scandal like that would deem their ultimate doom. 

Now, though, Seokjin sees with his own eyes (10/10 vision he might add, not just thanks to the successful lasik he had gone through) that rather than disappearing, the feelings Jungkook had for Namjoon has evolved into genuine love. And then some time during the peak of Bangtan's success, the latter eventually and ultimately falls in love with him back. 

Years ago Seokjin had to stiffle his laughs, always endeared whenever the adorable fourteen year old tiptoed awkwardly around Namjoon to search for approval and praises. Now, he laughs out loud in the background, brushing tears from his eyes as he tries to watch Namjoon's shy and awkward interraction with the young one. Oh, how the turntables. 

"Jungkook-ah!" 

The man in question turns around like a deer in headlights, ready to do anything Namjoon asks of him. Jin watches the moment Namjoon freezes and gapes at Jungkook's sparkly eyes. He's probably taken aback at the younger man's soft look tonight, with his hair tied in a messy half bun and wearing a matching oversized sweater and pants. He just knows that Namjoon is practically melting at their maknae's tired and dazed doe eyes. Jin is weak against this Jungkook, imagine how Namjoon is doing. 

"Yes, hyung? Do you need anything?" 

"I-I uh-" Really? The man gave a speech at the UN for crying out loud. "Y-your solo today! You did good!" Oh, Shang, please- "I mean, you did amazing! You've really grown to be such an amazing performer, Kook-ah. I'm so proud of you." 

Namjoon's tense form turns into a relaxed one as he continues to praise the younger, his eyes filled with pride and his tone fond. Sadly, Jungkook who is his own critic and believer that anything he'd done could always be better only ducks his head, thus missing his hyung's stare of love. 

Ah, another missed chance, Seokjin thinks. 

"Thanks, hyung. I could've done better," Jungkook looks up to see Namjoon's expression that has turned a little bit sad. "but I hope ARMY loved it! And you did great too, Joonie-hyung!" 

Seokjin face palms as the duo in front of him engage in a praising battle against each other. Namjoon is the opposite of straight-forward if it's regarding his own feelings, while Jungkook is in constant denial of the fact that the man he's in love with could ever love him back. 

Idiots, his two dongsaengs are. 

Jimin

They are at an award show. Years of living with his hyungs and dongsaengs has made Jimin very much attuned with them, especially with their whereabouts. It is also his unofficial job to take care of his two dongsaengs, so it's not a weird occurence that his gaze often lands on Jungkook.

During the show, Jimin occasionally notices his cute dongsaeng staring at Namjoon. He's sooo whipped, it's cute. 

But what Jimin doesn't expect is that whenever Jungkook turns away, at that exact moment, Namjoon would turn his head to look at their main vocalist. 

Huh. 

This then happens a lot throughout the show, Jimin is positive that the next day twitter will be trending with thousands of Namkook compilation photos and videos. 

Whenever Jungkook looks at Namjoon, it's always with the same awe and admiration in his eyes. The love in his eyes is also very clear for all people to witness that Jimin and his hyungs often have to snap Jungkook out of it. 

What he doesn't expect tonight is this: every time Jungkook looks away after stealing glances at the rapper, Namjoon would turn his head and look at the vocalist with so much pride, fondness and... is that longing in his eyes?

Eventually, after many missing attempts of catching each other's gaze, the finally lock eyes. The first one to look away is, unsurprisingly, Jungkook. Always the shy maknae, despite his evergrowing confidence. 

"Is Namjoon-hyung mad at me or something?" Jungkook asks him later after an award had been presented to a new group. Jimin almost splutters. 

"What." 

"It's just- he keeps looking at me. He doesn't usually keep tabs on me during award presentations. Hyung, is there something on my face? Did I miss my steps during our performance earlier? Oh god, is he mad because I avoided giving speech earlier?" 

In Jimin's mind, he's throwing himself from a nearby roof. "Of course not, Kookie. Maybe Namjoon-hyung likes seeing you. You look very handsome tonight." The older dancer tries to hint, his voice strained while his mind hoping, Please get the hint you oblivious dork!

At that, Jungkook snorts. Jimin wants to smack him. "Yeah, right, Jiminie-hyung. Very funny." 

After years of convincing himself that Namjoon will never return his feelings, Jungkook had conditioned himself so much that the mere thought of the object of his affection seeing him as a sexual being is downright laughable. 

Right when Jimin was going to smack some sense into the boy, they are interrupted by an excited Hobi who quickly pulls them to dance to another artist's performance. 

Poor, poor, Joonie-hyung.

Hoseok

"Maybe tell him?" 

"But what if he heard me?" 

At times like this, Hoseok is glad he's older than their leader because he gets to smack the stupid out of him. Or at least try to. "Ouch!" 

"That's the point! Don't you want him to know?" 

"I guess." The younger rapper shrugs while rubbing the back of his head. "Are you sure he still likes me, though? After all these years, he could have fallen for anyone else." 

"Namjoon-ah, I've been with you from the start. If you don't believe me, ask Yoongi-hyung and he'll answer the same: when you guys first met, Jungkook had looked at you like you hanged the moon. Now he looks at you like you painted the solar system." 

"That's ridiculous. Jungkook's the one who could paint the whole universe." 

"But, of course." Hoseok nods, defeated at his dongsaeng's dazed expression. Whoever says Namjoon couldn't be as whipped as Jungkook is a liar. "Now if you're still too afraid to tell him, how about giving him a present? A bit of hinting never hurts, you know." 

Namjoon's eyes twinkle with hope. He knows he could always count on J-Hope. 

Two weeks later, Hoseok becomes a spectator of Namjoon who is presenting a nice, simple necklace for the maknae. And it would have been perfect, that is, if Jungkook hadn't bought the exact same necklace the very fucking day Namjoon had worked up the courage to give his own gift to him. 

"Oh, hyung, look! We match!" What are the odds. Two men who care for the environtment, specifically for the dying whales, buying the same silver necklace with a whale's tail as a decoration for their loved one, an act that would support the cause and help protect the endangered species.

Hoseok stands frozen watching Namjoon go, "Yeah, Hobi-hyung, look.. Jungkook and I have matching necklaces now, haha...", while Jungkook smiles excitedly, completely oblivious to their leader's inner turmoils. 

Hoseok fakes giggles and claps, giving 'ooh's and 'ahh's only for effect as he wonders with incredulity how two people could buy the exact same necklaces in a short period of time. But when he thinks about it again, it shouldn't have been that much of a surprise, seeing that these two are the ones who spontaniously changed the lyrics 'remedy' to 'marry me' with the same melody in front of millions of people. Like they're soulmates reading each other's minds. 

Hoseok should not be surprised. 

Yoongi

"Jungkook's sick." 

"I know? I was there when the kid slumped against the wall when we got home and Jin-hyung and Hope-ah had to carry him to his room. I'm making soup right now, by the way," Yoongi blows a spoon of broth three times before directing said spoon to Namjoon's pouting mouth. Why do all his dongsaengs pout so much? Yoongi could only handle so much. 

"Delicious." His dongsaeng says after tasting it, but his expression doesn't change from the turmoil that is painted on his face. 

Yoongi sighs. "Come help with the chicken." 

Namjoon hesitates but the older hands him an apron anyway. "They say the way to a man's heart is through the stomach, Namjoon-ah." 

That seems to seal the deal when Namjoon shows a more confident expression. He ends up only helping in skinning the chicken to pieces and plating the food, but Yoongi counts that as both Yoongi and Namjoon cooking Jungkook's dinner that night. 

The younger rapper also successfully brings the tray up to Jungkook's room without too much trouble (he had tripped on one of Yeontan's toy in the hallway but he thankfully regains balance quickly enough so the broth only spilled a little bit onto the tray). 

The door is opened by Jimin, revealing the sight of their main vocalist in the middle of the bed being cuddled by Taehyung. Hoseok is behind the latter, his hand reaching out to alternatively play between the two youngest members' hair while Seokjin is at the foot of the bed, studying the thermometer that he seemed to have taken Jungkook's temperature with just now.

When the sick boy meets Namjoon's eyes, he tears his gaze away to look down at his blanket. His fingers picking at the loose thread of the cloth and eyes focused downwards. 

Before all this, Namjoon, with his newfound feelings and worry for the boy had scolded him for being too neglecting of his own health. 

"You should have told us sooner that you weren't feeling well, Jungkook. We've been through this countless times. You can't just push yourself too much to the point of being sick and almost passing out!" 

Yoongi had watched, exasperated that Jungkook only heard the hard tone of his leader. Was ignorant of Namjoon's eyes which were filled with worry and fear. To see their dongsaeng, their maknae especially, sick or hurt in any way is a different kind of pain that no one wants to experience. But to see the person you're also in love with like that, it hurt twice as much for Namjoon. 

Jungkook, who was sensitive and wallowing in self-doubt, didn't see beyond Namjoon's façade. 

That is why Namjoon was banned from Jungkook's room for awhile. The others had made a silent agreement to let Namjoon cool off with Yoongi while they took care of the emotional Jungkook. 

"I'm sorry." Jungkook says with a pout when Namjoon is near enough to listen.

The room is silent then. 

Until, "No! No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been lecturing you while you're sick, that's not fair of me." Namjoon puts the tray on the bedside table before sitting next to Jungkook and taking his hand while Hobi and Taehyung move away from their youngest to give them space. "Hyung is sorry, Jungkook-ah. I never meant to hurt you." 

Jungkook shooks his head as he stares at Namjoon in wonder. The look of relief that his hyung is no longer mad at him is present in his eyes. "You didn't hurt me. You could never hurt me, hyung." 

Then like a scene in some kind of cliche movie, Namjoon engulfed Jungkook in a big hug. They stay like that for a few minutes that seem longer. After awhile, Namjoon starts to whisper, though the other people in the room could hear him. "I love you, Jungkook-ah." 

Yoongi and the others suck their breaths. 

"Even though it doesn't excuse my actions, even though you make me so, so proud, I love you so much that I can't bear it every time I see you working yourself so hard. I always want to take care of you, Kook-ah, I-I'm in love with-" a snore cut Namjoon off. 

He slowly pulls away from the limp body in his arms, to find Jungkook's eyes closed, his expression peaceful and free of any dispute. All of Jungkook's hyungs sag when they realize that some time between Namjoon's confession and now, the youngest had fallen asleep in his hyung's arms. 

"Oh, Namjoon-ah. Hyung's sorry." Jin tries to comfort, his palm patting the rapper's back. 

"It's okay. He's sick, he probably didn't mean to fall asleep like that." 

Namjoon then proceeds to lay the sick boy gently back into the soft mattress. Cradling him so carefully as if the boy was precious cargo. 

"Are you okay, hyung?" Jimin asks quietly. 

"I'm fine. It's fine. I'll tell him at a better time." 

Despite his failure this time, Yoongi sees the determination in Namjoon's eyes. He's a proud hyung.

Taehyung

Namjoon thinks he should give up. 

He likes to say that he has tried. He tried complimenting Jungkook, giving him gifts, asking him out on dates (that the latter sadly concluded as platonic outings), even confessing to him (again, sadly timing was a bitch because only Namjoon could confess his love to an unconscious man). 

He was going to surrender in peace, but in the end, it's Taehyung that convinces him. 

"You gotta tell him straight." 

"Pardon?" 

"Sorry. You gotta tell him gay, hyung." 

"What." 

"Jungkook, hyung! You know? Our oblivious baby who's loved you since his muscles were nonexistent, who's so convinced that you'd never love him back. He will never know how much you love him until you tell him clearly!" 

"I do, though! I praise him every day, I try to cook for him, I smile at him a lot, I ask him out on bike dates and I often ask his advice for our demos and lyrics. Once, I even tried giving him a necklace, but it didn't work! Nothing works!" 

"One thing would work: tell. Jungkook. You're. In. Love. With. Him." 

"You love me?" 

Namjoon and Taehyung turn theirs heads around so fast, they almost give themselves a pair of whiplashes. 

Jungkook is standing at the door to their living room, tattooed hand gripping the door frame so tight like he is doing it to ground himself. He looks fresh out of shower with his body flushed and hair still wet.

"Uh-" Namjoon says dumbly. 

"Heya, Jungkookie," Taehyung waves dumbly, before walking towards the front door in haste. "I'll leave it up to you, hyung! Bye, guys!" 

"Taehyung-ah!!" 

"You love me." Namjoon's whole body tenses. He's not ready. He was perhaps ready all those failed moments ago, but now... "Namjoon-hyung?" A soft whine from his maknae stops him from running.

Ready or not, there's no going back now. 

Namjoon turns around to look at those big doe eyes. If Jungkook's weakness is his obliviousness, this is Namjoon's kryptonite.

He takes a deep breath, and, "Yes, Jungkook. I love you." Tell him straight! "Actually, I'm in love with you."

Namjoon watches in awe as Jungkook's expression turns from dazed to shock and then to nervous excitement. He looks so pretty stuttering with his cheeks all red. "S-so the dates? And the n-necklace?" 

The rapper takes a step closer, noting with relief that rather than stepping back Jungkook only leans his body forwards, as if caught in a spell. "I wanted to show you how much you mean to me. You know how much I love going on bike rides around the park, hiking, and observing sea creatures. I want you to know that I loved doing them even more when you were beside me. I love spending time with you."

"Hyung..." Jungkook is biting his lower lip while looking up at Namjoon with tears in his eyes. He never wanted to be the cause of the boy's tears, but once he starts, he just can't stop.

"I love your passion and the hard work you put in everything you do. I love that despite how big we've become, you remain humble and kind. I love how you are true to yourself, loving yourself by painting your body with things that you love and appreciate. I love how you're always gentle with your hyungs, your family and your dogs."

Namjoon takes Jungkook's hand away from the doorframe to be engulfed in his. He squeezes the inked and delicate hand gently and the younger squeezes back.

"Wanna know a secret? I also loved it when you wore that red suit and leopard shirt during your performance. Yoongi-hyung had to smack me out of my daydream of taking you in the dressing room."

"Hyung!" 

"And then you changed into a warm hoodie and sweatpants that made you look so soft and huggable. I've never imagined wanting to pull someone into a hug so tight so I'll never have to let him go forever." 

"You can." 

"I- huh?" 

Jungkook flushes deeper but his gaze refuses to tear from Namjoon's. "You can hold me tight. Whenever you want. Preferably now. Forever too. If-if you want."

"Oh. O-okay." It's as awkward as it gets when Namjoon pulls Jungkook towards him and places his hands around the boy's waist. But as soon as Jungkook wraps his arms around Namjoon's shoulders, everything feels right.

Having Jungkook. His member, his dongsaeng, his best friend, and the love of his life in his arms feels perfect.

"You can do whatever you want to me, hyung. I'm yours." The statement could have been an innuendo but Jungkook's tone is far from it. He says it with such sincerity, voice so soft and small as if he's scared Namjoon would hear his vulnerability.

"Are you sure?" 

"Yes, Joonie-hyung. I love you, and there's no one I trust more." 

This boy is golden. He has loved you for years and is willing to give his heart for you to take care of. You better not fuck this up, Kim Namjoon.

"Fuck. Kook-ah, I love you. And I'm yours too. I promise I'll take care of you." Namjoon murmurs into Jungkook's neck.

"Unn." He feels Jungkook's lips against his jaw. "And I'll take care of you too, hyung."

Namjoon's heart soars.

He pulls back to look into Jungkook's eyes which are filled with stars and trust and love. Both then grin widely at each other before the older presses his lips against the younger boy's plump lips, sealing their promise with a chaste kiss.