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“But you have to. It’s easy. Let me show you.”
“No! It looks gross.”
“But they all look like that.”
“Really?”
“Yea, I’m pretty sure. It’s not like you’ve never seen one before. I know you have!”
“Of course, but not like this…not alive,” Sunggyu murmured as he stared down the fleshy, pink…thing in front of him. Then the thing approached him. Sunggyu backed away and into the royal chef behind him. He turned towards the chef and tried to hand the other the knife in his hand. “Dongwoo, you do it,” he commanded. “Woohyun will never know, right?”
“Well,” Dongwoo responded with a nervous giggle. “I…I’m not really good at keeping secrets, especially from Woohyun-ssi. He’s really good at getting information out of me…all the tickling,” the man stammered as he turned the king back towards the pig. “And it’s not that hard, Your Highness. You just have to pin it down and slit its throat.” The chef’s voice sounded way too gentle for what he had just said.
Sunggyu sighed as he looked at the knife in his hand. “The things I do for this kid,” he grumbled. He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. When he opened them up again, he clutched the knife tightly in his hand. “Alright, Fatty. Let’s get this done and over with.”
And out of all the things Sunggyu had done for the Crimsonite, this had to be the weirdest, the most time-consuming, the grossest, but also the thing Woohyun would like the most (after marrying him, of course). Woohyun had been rambling on for weeks about this special festival. If Woohyun was just a normal prince, he’d travel back to the Crimson Isles and celebrate with his family. However, Woohyun wasn’t just a prince anymore; he was the husband to the king of the Crystal Shores, which meant the Crimsonite couldn’t leave port so freely. He had more responsibilities now, each one tying him to a foreign kingdom. And now he was homesick.
And so Sunggyu decided to do a little research about this festival, and maybe he could manage to celebrate it in part.
Chapter 14: Holidays
Section 8: Philerastia
Most kingdoms have in some form or another of a fertility festival, and Philerastia is such for the red isles. While some of their rituals for this festival may seem strange to most, such as the loin-cloth clad men chasing their desired women around the towns’ center with goat whips (a soft lash on a woman’s belly is believed to promote a healthy womb), every ritual is an expression of love and devotion for their significant other. The traditional meals also carries special meaning. It’s a tradition for the husband to make a meat pie, providing the necessary nutrients for his spouse to become healthy. From start to finish, he makes the pie from complete scratch, going along with most red traditions. However, it is not as simple as it might seem. It’s not just a few hours in the kitchen. The Crimsonites take this phrase to heart: baking something with love. And so, the more effort you put into this pie, all the more proof that you love your spouse.
And following that description was a long detailed recipe for the pie, made the good old fashioned way, including the slaughtering and butchering the pig, growing the vegetables, harvesting the vegetables, milking the cow, churning the butter, in addition to actually making the pie. And knowing Nam Woohyun, Sunggyu better do all he can or else he’d never hear the end of it.
“I can’t believe I’m actually doing this,” Sunggyu grumbled as he washed the blood and gore from his hands.
“I think it’s sweet,” Dongwoo came up to his side and said. “And while the blood is draining from the pig…” Sunggyu winced. He never wanted to hear that again. “…we can go gather the vegetables,” Dongwoo finished as he put the dirty basket in the king’s freshly cleaned hands.
“Great,” Sunggyu said under his breath. He then followed the chef out into the royal gardens.
“Okay, go for it!” Dongwoo cheered as he pointed to a bunch of leaves sprouting from the ground.
“Dongwoo,” Sunggyu grumbled and ran a hand down his face. “I need carrots and potatoes, and I don’t see them anywhere here.”
Dongwoo turned towards the king with his jaw unhinged. “But, Your Highness…they’re underground. Didn’t you know?”
“Of course I know!” the king snapped back. He immediately got down on his knees and tugged harshly at the leaves as he muttered under his breath, “I know economics, military strategies, social decorum…I have a whole friggin’ kingdom to run…can’t…know…everything…”
“Damn it, Dongwoo! This blasted…thing!”
Around this time, even with his great patience, Dongwoo was becoming fed up with the king’s complaints. He was sitting in the corner of the palace’s kitchen (they finally finished gathering the ingredients), laying on top of sacks of potatoes with his eyes slowly closing. “Is it the onions, sir?” the chef asked sleepily.
“Yes,” Sunggyu answered as he blinked back the tears forming in his eyes. He then slammed the bulb on the table in frustration. “What did I ever do to deserve this?” he lamented while poking at the onion with a knife.
“Love Nam Woohyun,” Dongwoo answered through a yawn. He turned onto his side and made a pillow out of a bag of flour.
“Nope. Not anymore,” the king barked, tossing the knife onto the cutting board. “I give up! I’m done!” He untied the strings of his apron and threw it onto the ground. “Finish it,” he commanded as he stormed out of the kitchen. The slammed doors echoed throughout the kitchen.
But Dongwoo didn’t even stir from his spot. He just smacked his lips and nestled his head into his makeshift pillow. Then the door slowly creaked open again, and Dongwoo flipped onto his other side, facing the door. Sunggyu snuck back in, picked up the apron from off the ground, put it back on, and returned to chopping the onion. “I’m basically done…I’m so close,” he mumbled. And the chef just smiled as he closed his eyes again. He knew that the king would come back. That was the seventh time that he had stormed out of the kitchen.
“Good job, Your Highness!” Dongwoo exclaimed as Sunggyu pulled the pie from the flames. “And it’s only slightly burned.”
Sunggyu groaned as he placed the misshapen and oozing pie onto a silver platter. The stark contrast between the two only made his stomach sink even more. But before he could dwell on it any longer, he felt a few hard slaps on his back. “You should be proud, seriously. He’s going to love it.”
“He better,” the king snarled. Then he sniffed. “Ugh! I smell like a mud-bathing peasant.”
Sunggyu sat down at the dining table, gazing at his hands. He sighed as he picked at the newly formed callouses and winced as his fingers grazed a burn. He inhaled sharply through his teeth. “They used to say my hands were pretty,” he muttered. His eyes then drifted down to the pair of gloves resting on the table. With a great sigh, he slowly put the gloves on his hands, careful not to aggravate his wounds.
Then a hand reached out, covering Sunggyu’s and tugging the gloves off. “I thought you said that you weren’t going to wear these anymore,” Woohyun said, kneeling down next to the other. His eyes looked up at the king, full of that feigned innocence. “Because you have me,” he finished, kissing the hands quickly before getting up and walking to his side of the table.
Sunggyu rolled his eyes, but still put the gloves to the side. “They were for protection…”
“I can protect you!” the Crimsonite blurted.
“…from my burns,” Sunggyu ended with a slight laugh.
“Oh,” Woohyun was dumbfounded. “I can’t protect you from that.” He then furrowed his eyebrows. “Why are you burned?”
“Because,” Sunggyu began dramatically. A smirk graced his face. He couldn’t wait until he saw the look on the Crimsonite’s face. “It’s your favorite holiday, and I made you something.”
Woohyun slowly started to smile as the realization dawned on him. “You didn’t.”
“I did,” Sunggyu retorted while gesturing at one of the attendants to serve the meal.
The servant then delicately placed the platter in front of Woohyun, with one measly meat pie on it. And unfortunately, the Crimsonite’s reaction wasn’t the kind that Sunggyu had been expecting. He laughed. He laughed a lot, slamming the table so hard that Sunggyu had to reach out before his wine glass tipped over. “Well, it sure does look like you made it,” he roared. He cam down from his high and took a bite from the pie. “Nng!” he recoiled and put the pie back down. “And it tastes like it too,” he said, wiping his mouth with his sleeve roughly.
“If you don’t like it,” Sunggyu grumbled as he gestured at the servant to take it away.
“No!” the Crimsonite barked and protected his plate from being take away. “I love it. And I love you…that’s why I made one too! Hold on!” Woohyun begged as he got up from his seat and darted out of the room. A few minutes he returned and placed a plated in front of the king. He placed a kiss on the other’s cheek. “Merry Philerastia.”
Sunggyu looked down at the dish in front of him. There was a perfectly made meat pie, with a golden and flaky crust. He cautiously brought his fork to it and portioned out a bite. He then took a bite. “Damn, yours is so much better than mine,” he cursed.
“Well, I’ve had a lot of practice,” Woohyun replied, now sitting on the other side of the table. Sunggyu cocked his eyebrow in a challenge. “For my mom,” the Crimsonite responded before the other could snap. “But this is the first time I made it for a lover.”
Sunggyu snorted. “Yah! I’m the only lover you’ve ever had,” the king fought back. He then took a large bite. “Although…I thought the husband was supposed to make it.”
“What are you talking about?” Woohyun challenged. “We’re both men.”
“Yes, I know,” Sunggyu took back, waving his hand. “But I’m talking about who’s in charge of this relationship.”
“Me, of course,” Woohyun immediately retorted with a chuckle.
Sunggyu rolled his eyes. “But I’m the one with the kingdom,” he argued.
“But I’m pretty sure that I can beat you up,” Woohyun teased and then took a sip from his wine glass.
The king pouted and crossed his arms. “But I’m the one with an army,” he challenged.
Woohyun slowly put the glass down and raised an eyebrow as he side-eyed the other. “An army, which I’m sure now is more loyal to me than you,” the Crimsonite spoke coolly.
“This argument is stupid,” Sunggyu yielded, knowing that he had just lost. And Woohyun did too as he was smugly eating his pie. “Yah,” Sunggyu called out as he watched the other shovel the pie into his mouth. “If it tastes bad, don’t eat it.”
Woohyun shook his head and swallowed. “But I like it, hyung-nim! And it tastes better the more you eat it.” Sunggyu laughed. That’s only because you’re getting used to the taste, he thought. Woohyun hummed happily, hearing the other laugh. “It must be your love I’m tasting.”
“You’re weird,” Sunggyu spoke and then he clapped. “That’s right! Is there anything else that we have to do on this weird holiday of yours?”
Woohyun grinned cheekily. “Well there’s this one thing…”
“Nam Woohyun! You are not whipping me!” Sunggyu cut him off.
“I figured that much,” Woohyun retorted with a snort. “I know you, hyung-nim. But didn’t you read about it in that book of yours?”
“Hm? No. What is it?”
“This is nice,” the king spoke as he stroked the top of Woohyun’s head. The Crimsonite had his head resting in the crook of Sunggyu’s neck. The royal couple was laying on the shore, under the stars, on top of a plush mattress, covered with light blankets. “But,” Sunggyu asked as he pulled away from the other so that he could see him better. “What’s the point?”
“Well,” Woohyun spoke with a happy lilt. “We’re actually supposed to be in a field. You know, surrounded by growing crops so our love and offspring could grow too. But…I thought that you would like this better.”
Sunggyu rolled back onto his back, closed his eyes, and breathed in deeply the crisp, salty air. “I do. I like this a lot,” he said in a low voice. He then turned his head towards the other and pulled Woohyun into a tight embrace. “And I love you,” he whispered, delivering a kiss on top of the Crimsonite’s head.
Woohyun wiggled a bit until his head was at the same level of Sunggyu’s. He kissed the king softly on the lips. “And I love you too…even if you won’t let me whip you.”
“Yah!” Sunggyu yelled as he tried to pull the other off of him (but couldn’t). “You can go sleep with the fish.”
Woohyun snuggled his head into the other’s chest. “It’s only because I want you to have a fertile womb, hyung-nim,” he joked.
“You,” Sunggyu said, breaking into a soft laugh and stopping from struggling. “You’re really silly.” He closed his eyes again, trying to drift off to sleep. “Men don’t have wombs. Don’t you remember your biology lessons?” he mumbled.
Woohyun brought up the blankets up higher on the both of them. “I know,” he muttered sadly. “Men can’t bare children.”
The king sighed and wrapped his arms tightly around the other. “I wish we could.”
“Me too, hyung-nim.”