Work Text:
Hollyberry Cookie was awoken by the muffled sound of a door opening, then closing, followed by heavy running steps.
Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she quickly realized that it’s early morning. A cool spring morning in the Vanilla Kingdom, in the palace built in honor of the five heroes.
It was far too early for any of her friends, sleeping in surrounding rooms, to be awake at an hour like this, however… Especially with how late they stayed up last night, having quite a celebration… Curiously, she got up and pulled her door open.
As she did so, the sound of a toilet flushing came up in the distance. The lamp was lit in the bathroom at the far end of the hall— The door though was tilted open. The queen squinted suspiciously. That’s strange and unusual.
When Hollyberry approached the bathroom, it was tempting to peek through the half open door. With it, she noticed a familiar figure kneeling on the floor, right beside the toilet. “——Cacao!?”
“!” He looked over his shoulder before rising up to his feet, “Have I woken you? I apologize.”
“Eh, screw that! What’s up?” Holly’s loud concern prompted an urgent hand gesture from Cacao, telling her to keep her voice down. Softer this time, though still worried, she asked; “Did you just vomit?”
“…Yes. I don’t feel too well.” Cacao said, holding his side, “Some kind of food poisoning, could be. I’m not quite baked for creams and alcohol.”
“Goodness! You sure aren’t!” Holly looked the man up and down. So huge and tall, did he really get a hangover from one pint of champagne? What a lightweight! “—Should we go downstairs and make you some tea?”
“No, not needed.” Cacao glanced towards the darkness out the window, “It’s early. Feel free to go back to bed. I shall do that as well.”
“Hmph.” Holly crossed her arms, quite unhappy with the idea of just returning to sleep after this. “You’ve gotta hydrate thou—”
Before she could finish that sentence, Cacao swung back around and kneeled to have another disgusting session into the toilet bowl. She had to avert her eyes a little. That really, really did not look good. Or sound good.
“Uugh…”
Pink eyes returned to watch Cacao’s hunched back, his shoulders shuddered. Holly entered deeper into the bathroom, softly asking, “Should I… Should I hold your hair back?”
“…I think I… might be done no— no, no I’m not.”
And so, they had to spend another few more, very unhappy minutes in the bathroom together. Holly did pull his long unkempt hair back.
Her soft hand brushed across Cacao’s shoulder as she went past him. The kitchen they were sitting in was lit dimly, with a cold breeze tugging at their ankles. For a government building, it was still a bit more homey compared to their own castles. After all, the house was a testament to their bond—huge, cozy, reliable, quiet most of the time, and cold in the morning.
In the cold kitchen, a pot of green tea was being prepared and brewed by the Hollyberrian queen, for her sickly Cacaonian friend.
“You do not need to stay awake for me…” he muttered, twirling a half-full glass of water.
“Yeah, but I want to.” shooting a glance and a smirk at Cacao.
“Do you have a headache?” Holly asked after a quiet moment.
“No, I do not, actually.” he put a hand to his head while saying it. “Perhaps I am not hungover, then.”
“Mm. How about vertigo? Maybe you really did get poisoned by something.”
“Yes, I woke up feeling dizzy.”
Holly kissed teeth. “No good. We’re really gettin’ old, huh, partner?”
“I’m wondering what it could be… I did not even eat much of anything. Was it that cherry pie? Or maybe the cheesecake?”
“Didn’t you try the tiramisu too?”
“Ah, you’re correct. That one is made up of raw eggs, is it not.”
“Yeah!” Holly began pouring the mug of tea, “My! Did you really get so messed up by a little bit of raw cake?!”
“Old age, as you said. This has all been too gourmet for me…” …‘for a caveman like me’ goes unuttered.
Holly sat by the same bar as Cacao, and drank a mug of tea too. She would keep him company any day if she could. …If he’d allow her to, more often.
A few times a year, The Five gather in the Pure Vanilla Kingdom for a conference meeting. Important political plans are discussed, as well as trading topics, and so on and so forth. A bit of a party took place—celebrating the anniversary of this alliance’s formation, and the founding of the building they were in right now.
Though the sky outside had finally began to light up with a cold, midtone gray, it wasn’t until that moment that the first bluebirds began to sing their tunes. Their songs were muffled by closed windows though. Holly ran a hand through her let down hair, staring into the steaming tea in her mug. No matter what, her eyes would be naturally drawn towards Cacao’s hands resting atop the bar top. Scarred, dark skin. Looking up, she admired his face. A fatigued and a bit pale Cacao. Not as alluring as he would be in the climax of a battle, with adrenaline dilating his pupils, but she thought that this kind of Cacao was rather cute too. And then his eyes shot right into hers.
And they stared at each other.
And they stared at each other.
“Hollyberry…” calmly.
“Dark Cacao.” smiling.
“Thank you for the assistance,” underlined with a faint nod, “and the tea. …I apologize for causing you trouble in waking you up.”
“Aw stop it.” she flicked her wrist, “It’s no trouble to help a friend in need!”
“…Mmh.”
“Let’s just take it easy today. We have a day off. Maybe we can let Pure Vanilla take a look at you later, too.”
“Oh no, I’m sure I’ll be fine until then.”
“And if not?”
“Then I will reconsider. Though, I will proudly withstand a bit of pain without immediately running for painkillers.”
“Hmm, yeah, I get that too.”
Cacao lifted the mug to his lip, and then threw his head back, to drink the piping hot tea in one shot. Steam exited his lips when he placed the mug back down. “Alright.”
“Gee. If only you were that funny with actual beer, too!” Holly joked. Though, it would never stop being at least a bit startling when Cacao did that. Wasn’t it a bit counterproductive too? Holly thought that she didn’t have a lot of brains when it came to medicine, but drinking a hot drink too fast was not really gonna soothe that guy’s sensitive stomach…!
“Shall we head back to our beds?” Cacao ignored her joke. Rude.
“Alriiiight. Let me just finish my tea. I don’t have a steel reinforced throat like you!”
“It’s not steel. But— I will wait for you, then. I’ll do so happily, in fact.”
And wouldn’t you know it, the day went on very uneventfully. After the two had gone back to sleep, and then gotten woken up by Golden Cheese a bit before noon, they very casually twiddled on paperwork. As the day passed, the sickness did too. Holly brought up what happened in the early morning, but Cacao found it unnecessary to have Vanilla do his magic on him. An unnecessary waste of mana it would be.
The sickness was gone the next day.
Days passed, and along with it, the great gathering of the four kingdoms came to an end. Faint nausea persisted throughout the weeks, but Cacao found it unnecessary to deeply analyze it. All kinds of plants pollinate during spring in the southern kingdoms. He figured it could be some kind of allergy.
Around one month later, he had to pay a visit to the Golden Cheese kingdom.
The temperature was to die from. Not for, from. At the very least to Dark Cacao, who was thoroughly used to frost and snow. He rarely agreed to visit Golden Cheese in her homeland for that reason. Being on the verge of heatstroke not once but twice, made it quite unattractive for him.
Cacao could leap from joy when he came to find out that it was raining in the kingdom during his arrival. He could leap, but wouldn’t. A dignified smirk was enough.
So he would not have to parade around, wearing next to nothing! He could even let his hair down. The almighty Witches have truly smiled upon him that day. And him only. It seemed everyone else in the golden palace carried a doleful disposition from the rain.
He was alone in his royally appointed bedroom. And when the morning routine was done, the king gladly began to clothe himself in his usual layering—and armor. Not as much as usual, but enough to make him feel protected from possible… projectiles.
A problem had arisen when he came to fasten a belt, locking the front part of his chest plate, to the back part. He had a faint feeling that the padding inside the armor pressed against his stomach… just a bit too noticeably.
Now, his instinct was to assume that he gained some weight, which happens sometimes. But there was a lingering thought in the back of Dark Cacao’s mind… A ghost which beckoned him to think harder about it.
He made some stretches and maneuvers in his armor to see if it might be on too tightly. Still bewildered, he finally snapped the metal fasteners off, and approached a mirror. One of many.
Cacao inspected his own reflection. He thought he looked the same as always. But maybe that’s just the thing. People don’t notice subtle changes in body types. Clothes do.
He stared at himself. Drifting off into his thoughts, certain memories came to him… As the familiar sensation of nausea began to build up inside his throat, he began to connect the dots.
His eyes widened.
“There you are.”
A queen as golden as the sun itself flicked her head to the side as she heard a colleague approaching. “What took you so long? Haven’t you been awake since hours at this point?”
“I had more things to do than usual.”
Dark Cacao met Golden Cheese in the square. She was elevated atop a pillow of some sort, with a huge umbrella held above her head by a shivering servant. Shivering from the spring rain. A very dedicated little Cheesebird.
Cacao looked at the umbrella, but decided to remain wet instead. He
“Shall we go, then?”
“Wouldn’t it be faster without the… magic carpet?”
Cheese took just a bit of an offense to that, “Hmph. Well actually, if it comes down to it, I’ll get there by myself within a few minutes. I’m doing you a huge favor by slowing myself down. Because I’m so generous.”
“And humble too.” Cacao added.
“I don’t like flying in the rain… My dough gets soggy and I start to smell like a wet bird!”
“Ah, there’s the honest answer.” Cacao crossed his arms, “I’ve got the impression that your folk are easily rendered helpless by just a bit of rain.” Gaze drawn towards rows of Cheesebirds huddling under roofs. Their little sneezes blew little amounts of cheese dust into the air.
“We only get rain once a year!”
“This is hardly rain. It’s sprinkle. This is fairy dust.” Cacao put up his palm, and caught just two rain drops into it.
“Blah blah blah, I’m Dark Cacao, and I am a snowman, and I make it my whole personality—” Cacao slanted his eyes towards Cheese, as she went on, “Let’s just get to the cliff quickly and then return indoors as fast as possible!”
“…Sure.” Without further ado, Dark Cacao began walking forward, “You’re the one blabbering to no end.”
“Hey!!! Don’t tread before me, I’m the queen here!”
Her temperament made Cacao weak from exhaustion. Sighing, he looked to the sky, as if to ask their godly makers if it really is correct that those two are to be soulmates. He did not slow down, per his friend’s request, and instead marched on until he could hear a slowly incoming airplane buzz, and then a yellow mass dash right past his head.
“Twerp!” Golden Cheese was fuming in the air. But her fumes were quickly extinguished by the rainfall.
“Your make-up is melting.” Dark Cacao commented before continuing walking.
“What is WITH you?” She caught up with him again.
“Nothing, I just refuse to get distracted.”
“You’re even more of a prick than usual.”
And so, they were going side by side at a slower pace, rather than a very fast one.
“Thou make-up is melting, your majesty.”
“And you’re fat! What the fuck!”
Cacao halted. Which surprised Cheese, because Cacao is the last person she’d expect to care about vapid insults.
“…Am I?” He asked that genuinely, turning his head in her direction rather than looking up at her.
“Eh. You’re always a hunk of muscle. I can’t tell shit with you wearing that bucket twenty four seven.”
“…Interesting. I see.”
And so, he resumed walking. His armor (bucket) made rhythmic, metallic thunks along with his steps.
“You’re slow. I’ll meet you there.”
And without waiting for an answer, Cheese outflew Cacao again. Dust in the wind. Except not really, because of the rain. He groaned again, but could only keep marching forward at his comfortable pace.
That weight comment spiked his anxiety for a second there. His hand traveled to the hard metal covering his midriff. If this really is the case, if that really is happening, he’ll need to come up with a good plan, and quickly at that. But— maybe that’s incorrect. He shall organize a thorough medical checkup once he’s in the motherland, and what is important now, is to join Golden Cheese at that…
Frantic chirps reached his ears, waking him up from his inner thoughts. Is something happening off path? He looked ahead, and then, decided to follow the noise.
Behind various rocks of various sizes, and varying levels of cheesy saltiness, he stumbled upon a massive caravan—having tumbled way off the road and into a crack in the hard-packed sand. It had housed tens, no, several dozens of birds. But it didn’t seem to be a home, more like a carriage full of wheels of cheese. Most of them now wasted.
“What happened here?” asked Dark Cacao. His imposing figure startled some chicks.
“An accident! Chirp chirp!” one avian friend informed him nervously, “Her royal majesty will be furious if this doesn’t reach the palace in time, b-but we can’t get the car to budge!! Chirp!”
Several cheesebirds tied strings to themselves and the car. Not even their several ounces of whoop-ass could lift the wooden caravan. It was, in fact, Cacao’s eight-foot height and a half.
“I see. It’s mostly fallen apart anyway, you’d be faster off carrying the cheese to the palace piece by piece.” It was not very far from here after all. “But…”
Dark Cacao stepped up to the half-broken vehicle, fastening his gauntlets while at it. Cheesebirds flew out of its crevices as he got closer.
Cacao then bent down at the waist, and slicked his hands under the car. With minimal of effort, he slowly rose up, bringing the giant cart out of its entrapment. He did, in fact, lift it into the air—at which point the weight did bend his knees—but Cacao managed to place it back down calmly, and without any more harm to the vehicle or any bird.
“Aaah…” he prepped his lower back with one hand, “…This should make things easier for you.”
There was a silence, and then—an eruption of triumphant chirps and peeps. Hair stood up on Cacao. The birds danced and made formations in the air. So thankful.
“…Hmmh.” The old man calmly watched the birds celebrate for a moment. “You’re welcome.”
He turned around and was about to return to the mission he had with Golden Cheese. Though then, a few Cheesebirds suddenly went ahead and landed atop his shoulder pauldrons and head. “!?”
“Toss a coin to the hero! Chirp!” A bird called out, and promptly, Cacao was smacked in the face and chest with a few gold coins.
“Oh,” he caught some with his hand, but not all, “Dear denizens of the Golden Cheese Kingdom, I do not need or wish for your gold. Keep your payment for Cookies that need such payment more than me.”
The Cheesebirds listened to his noble words with complete concentration. They stared between themselves for a moment. Then at the gold coins in their wings.
“Toss a coin to the heroine! Golden Cheese Cookie saved the day yet again! Hail our almighty queen! Chirp chirp chirp!”
“You’re gonna give her the credit for my deed…?” 💧
And so, Dark Cacao exited the scene, allowing the birds to triumph ‘Golden Cheese’s heroism’ and, hopefully, not get distracted enough to forget about their so crucial cheese delivery mission.
That slight exertion took a strain on his body. It really was impossible to ignore the fact that his armor was ill fitting. But it would still be a couple of days before he gets home and obtains a new one.
“I can’t BELIEVE it.”
Ah, that familiar screechy voice, drizzling with conceit. How he missed it.
“You’re all the way back here!? Dark Cacao, this is serious! Do you need a wheelchair!?”
“Calm your nerves, Golden Cheese.” he hissed, “Some of your birds got into a car wreck. I helped them with it.”
“There is time for helping birds in need, and time for political matters!”
“Hmmh. I could not just pass by them.”
“Yes you could. That’s what I do. Especially when you’re in the middle of a meeting with a friend .”
Golden Cheese lowered herself to the damp sand. She was only a bit shorter than the aloof king—and glared directly into his eyes.
“Why are you so arrogant!?”
“ You’re arrogant. Would you really pass by an incident among your own denizens, just because you were on the way somewhere?” Cacao furrowed his brows, “That is nothing to take pride in.”
“You’re being a total pain the whole day! You arrived late to our scheduled meeting, and instead of an apology, you’re bitching the whole time! And then— you leave and waste time even more!?” Cheese balled her fists, “What’s your problem? What did I DO to you!?”
“…Hrmm.”
“Don’t go ‘mmm’ at me now, asshole!”
With a flap of her wings, she came back up in the air again. “I can do my work by myself. Feel free to go back to the palace, if it’s such a pain in the ass for you.”
“…Golden Cheese, there is actually something… There is a reason,” he forced the words out of himself, finally raising his chin to look up at the other directly, “why I’ve been acting like this—”
“Keep your excuses for another day.”
Golden Cheese flipped around and flew off. Her magnificent figure disappeared beyond decorated cliffs and pillars. A gust of cheese was left behind in her stead, falling onto Cacao’s cheek. He brushed it off with a finger, feeling disheartened and a bit ashamed.
She wasn’t really wrong, was she. Once in a while Golden Cheese says something that Cacao knows is true, but he wishes it wasn’t. Mhm. While she is a woman of low temper, it’s not often that she gets so thoroughly mad at someone, and disappointed— at an Ancient, and at him, nonetheless.
Good god. How shameful. How dishonorable.
And this was the last day he was supposed to spend with her… This was the last mission they wanted to do together, and then wish Cacao farewell, send him and his companions off to the Cacao Kingdom again…
Dark Cacao had no choice but to head back to the golden palace. With an uncomfortable tightness in not just his abdomen, but his thoughts as well now. He instructed his men to gather up their things and start the carriage home right away. He would not wait for Cheese to return and give him a warm farewell. That would be even more dishonorable to do.