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“Are you sure you’re alright?”
Nod.
“But you still won’t speak to me.”
Another nod.
“Was it something I did?”
This time, there’s hesitation. Your hand stops petting Ein, who’s sitting faithfully in your lap as if he can tell you need the comfort. Then slowly but surely, you end up shaking your head. A frown builds upon his face, and Spike can’t help but sigh angrily. You turn to him, face crestfallen and lip quivering, but you still don’t say anything. It’s up to him to listen to all the words you’re suddenly refusing to say.
“I’m just…frustrated.” He tries, steeling himself from lashing out further. He’s still pissed off about how their latest bounty went. It wasn’t that high of a bounty, and in the end, they caught the guy. But that was only after you got nabbed for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. And looking a little too much like the mastermind’s long-lost lover. Unfortunately, it was after you had been stolen away to their base did they realize you had a different name, never met the guy, and were about thirty years younger than what you should have been. So if he couldn’t make a companion out of you then they decided to do the next best thing.
Make you talk.
“You really had us worried there.” He tells you softly when the air is filled with your silence once more. He took the liberty of staying with you and Ed while Jet and Faye turned in the guy. Besides someone needed to stay on the Bebop watch Big Shots for any surprise updates on the reward. It was for the best too. No matter how much you insisted that you were fine, he knew you were still a little shaken up. You never really took to the life of the bounty hunter well. It just wasn’t in your heart to be ruthless like the rest of them. “Ed couldn’t track you for a while. We thought the worse had happened.”
“... I’m sorry …” He turns his head over in surprise at the sound of your voice. You’re still looking down, sitting still on your spot on the couch right across from him. Your eyes are trained on Ein as you stroke his back as if you two were the only ones in the room. He hates being ignored and despises being ignored by you of all people. But in the end, Spike is just relieved that you haven’t gone completely radio silent on him. “I don’t like making people worried.”
The raw honesty in your voice makes him regret being so forward with you. You weren’t like him, or Jet, or Faye. Always felt smaller. More fragile, even. And if it were any other circumstance, he’d be more inclined to let you off with just ruffling your hair and telling you that he’ll finally get around to teaching you how to shoot someday. Instead, he swallows it down in an effort to make sure he gets his point across to you.
“Hey. Look at me.” He calls quietly, leaning forward and reaching out to place a hand on your knee. You look up at him with bright, big doe eyes and he’s just glad that there’s no one else around to witness him being such a big sap for you. No one except that damn mutt sitting in your lap and taking up your attention, of course. “We look out for each other here. Even when it doesn’t look like it. So if you don’t want me worried, you better start talkin-”
“I like it when you touch me.”
He shuts up real quick after that.
And so you with the way your eyes go wide and your body go rigid. He’s never been a hopeful man. But something about what you said lights a fire in his stomach that’s hard to put out. Though it’s also a cause for concern too, now that all he can do is watch your mouth open and close and open and close as you freeze in place.
The look on your face tells him that what you said wasn’t on purpose, as much as Spike wished it was. But the words fell from your mouth so clumsily. So easily. You were usually so shy and timid. Always rely on someone else to take the first steps and lead you. But that - that was so out of character for you. You weren’t the loose-lipped type, even with stupid, unimportant things. And it’s starting to make him wonder if there was more that happened while you were captured than you originally let on.
“You said they didn’t do anything.” He asks calmly, trying not to frighten you even further than you already did to yourself. He waits for your response: a shake of your head or the sound of your voice to pose as any sort of confirmation. Unfortunately, you had gone back to stubbornly keeping your mouth shut and turning your head away. Your body language reads that you’re tense and that you’re hiding something. And he’d be damned if he let you sit and take this by yourself. So with his hand still on his thigh, he takes the opportunity to squeeze as comfortingly as possible. Though it sends another message too: You’re not leaving until I say you are. “Tell me again. Did they hurt you?”
“It only hurt for a second.” You respond immediately. And like the time before that, your eyes widen in the surprise of your only honesty. You start to recoil. A pout covers your face as you look at him, pleading for him not to press you for any more questions. And as much as he wants to forget what happened to you earlier (all except you admitting that you liked it when he touched you, he’ll have to deal with all the… thoughts that came with that later), he’s not too keen on the idea of you being protective of your captors.
“What did?” He enunciates clearly, leaving no room for doubt of his command of the situation. You frown harder, biting at your lip for a second as your eyes flicker down to the side and then back at Spike again. He stares at you, unblinking and unmoving while waiting for your response. He hates being the bad guy to you, but he’s not above playing up the intimidation and harshness when it comes to your safety. “ What hurt. ”
“The shot.” You whisper out, and all he can see is red.
He takes a deep breath, fingers itching for a cigarette, but he doesn’t give in. You were never frustrating to deal with, but he can’t help but the agitation that’s starting to grow. You were fine before. Quiet, but for the most part cooperative. Now that’s he’s asking questions, things are turning south. But you trust him. He can see it in your eyes still. The hesitation is all there, but your unwavering faith in him is still present too. You trust him, but there’s a reason why you’re withholding this from him. But he’s not going to take that standing up. The sooner you start cooperating, the better, but he knows he has to take this different route. Bide his time.
And make you talk .
“Do you know what was in the shot?” You advert your eyes at this question, opting to just focus on Ein instead. But he knows you too well so you might as well have told him yes. Still, he ignores your reluctance in favor of another yes or no question. It seemed to be where he was going to “Do ya’ know why they shot you up?”
“They didn’t shoot me up!” You retaliate, and it’s hard to fight off the smirk threatening to show up on his face now that he has you hook line and sinker. Your pout changes from something pitiful and sad to a little angrier. Like a kitten trying to show off its claws, you’re quick to defend yourself. He knew you always had a thing about drugs. Being in a field where you could run into cops regularly meant living a relatively clean life, even if the crew was adamant about limiting your exposure to any of that in the first place. And ever since the mushroom incident, you’ve been feeling pretty strongly against anything that makes you feel like you’re not all there. So it was no surprise one mention was all it took to get you talking to him again. “It was just a stupid truth se-”
He raises an eyebrow when you suddenly cut yourself off by slapping a hand over your mouth. Ein, rattled by the jerky movement of your body, sits up and looks up at you. But you refuse to look at him or Spike though he can’t say he blames you. If only you were faster and a little less quick in that outburst with of yours. Maybe then you might have saved yourself from what he was about to do.
“A truth serum. Well, there’s a surprise.” He hums lowly. It makes sense he can’t help but think to himself before leaning back in his seat and standing up. You were withholding information from him, but you never lied to him. He knew you well enough to tell by now, at least. He shoves his hands in pockets as he walks over to where you’re sitting, before crossing to stand right behind and off to the side of the couch. There’s no stopping the smirk on his face now, but he’s merciful enough to not force you to look at it the entirely of the time he’s having his fun. “I’m guessing they wanted to get something important out of you before sending you back, huh?”
A second passes. And then another. And another before you finally decide to give him a slow nod. A breathy chuckle passes through his slips and he watches you curl up at the sound. He can imagine the growing frown on your face and he’s practically torturing himself not to get in your face and make you look him in the eye after giving him such a hard time early. Instead, he just leans down, nice and low, and drapes his arm across the back of the couch. It brushes against your shoulders, but you keep still, facing away from him. He was certain that would get a reaction out of you. So he takes it up a notch.
“You know… you didn’t need to keep that from me.” He rumbles, right next to your ear. You let out a quiet sound, your skittish side starting to show as you scope up Ein in your arms in lieu of shivering. He laughs again, and this time, he’s really glad there’s no Ed around to distract you or Jet here to save you. You’re at his mercy now. And he’s not exactly ready to let you run off just yet. Especially after you gave him such a hard time. “You worried I’d tease you or something? Come on, you know I’m not that bad of a guy.”
“...No…” He’s surprised to hear you respond verbally this time. And he’s even more surprised to hear your honest answer to the question wasn’t at all what he was expecting. It was easy to rile you up with enough teasing so he figured that was what you were trying to avoid the entire time. Come to find out he’d apparently miss the mark completely. And with no idea where to look for his next shot too. “That’s not it.”
“What is it then?” He leans a little bit more forward, and suddenly his chin is resting on your shoulder. “You can tell me.”
You’ve always been the touchy one out of the two of you. Always been the one initiating anything physical- whether it was wrapping your arms around him in a hug or holding his hand when you’re scared or lost. And sure, he’s had his fair share of moments where he’s ruffled your hair or rested his elbow on your head, but it’s you . The little thing from Europa that keeps him up at night. The sweet thing who’s got no business being with a bunch of bounty hunters and definitely no business being with a former hitman for the syndicate.
But you always found a way to pull him closer. And now that you’re suddenly pushing him away, he can’t help but pull you closer. He’s got it bad for you. But right now, he’s seeing this moment as more of a blessing and not a curse. And he’s never been a hopeful man.
“Yes, I can tell you. But I don’t want to tell you.” You quietly agree before backtracking. Though it’s too late. You’re slipping, and you both know it. You were never the strong type anyways. Just he’s never been one to give into hopes or dreams. “Because I didn’t want to tell you…”
But he can’t help but be hopeful whenever he takes a look at you.
“ ...just how much I love you… ”