Archive of Our Own

The snow that had covered Hawkins over winter break had all but melted, but Max guessed it was just her luck that it had chosen tonight to come back with a vengeance. She looked out her bedroom window and at the needle-like snowflakes falling quickly, the wind carrying them in a sharp angle. She wasn’t looking forward to having to bike over to the school in this weather, but she had no choice since her mom was still at work. And she had promised Lucas she’d meet him at the school parking lot, where they would get a ride to the party from one of his teammates. Max still wasn’t quite convinced that this whole party thing was a good idea, but Lucas had asked her about it and kept bringing it up since the semester started and she'd finally agreed on going with him. Since the move to the new house, she'd tried her best to be more optimistic, trying to take the move as a new start, forcing herself to get out of the house and actually do regular high school stuff. Which was why she'd told Lucas she’d go to the party after the opening basketball game of the spring semester. He’d seemed surprised earlier when she’d actually agreed to going with him, and then he’d seemed all jittery and excited for the rest of the school day, making Max feel slightly bad for not just biting the bullet and going with him last semester. 

But that guilt wasn’t strong enough to cover the nervous feeling of dread that had made home in the pit of her stomach the moment she’d said okay to going to the party. It was going to be full of upperclassmen and bonehead basketball jocks, how was she supposed to fit in there? Faced with a far too tempting thought in the back of her mind telling her to just stay home, Max screwed her eyes shut, trying to shake it off. She was going. She didn't want to let Lucas down, especially after how happy he’d seemed about tonight. Yeah she had her reputation of not letting anyone, especially high school boys, tell her what to do, and yeah, she didn’t care that much about the whole basketball thing, thinking it was pretty dumb, but contrary to popular belief, she wasn't actually that mean that she would just stand Lucas up now. So she was going to that party. 

Max walked over to her closet to get her heavier winter coat, which was easy to get to since she’d already pulled out nearly everything in the closet to pick out what to wear to her first high school party. Cause yeah, it was a lame party with lame jocks, but it was still kind of a major deal. Though she’d never admit that if anyone were to ask. She’d spent an embarrassingly long time picking out her outfit, considering she had just ended up wearing the same jeans she’d worn to school and a navy sweatshirt. But, she figured as she grabbed her puffy winter coat, at least she wouldn’t have to worry about any nice clothes getting ruined on the bike ride over to the school.

There was a honk of a car from outside and Max furrowed her brow as she pulled on the coat. Was her mom back from work already? She walked out of her room and into the hallway, seeing car headlights flooding in through the living room windows. Someone was definitely in the driveway. But why would her mom honk like that and keep the engine running, wouldn't she just park the car and come in? Taking a peek from behind the curtains, careful not to be seen by whoever was in the car, Max looked out at the driveway. With the headlines beaming right at her, Max couldn’t really see the car clearly, but she did see one of the doors to the backseat opening, and heard the rock music blaring from the car radio, loud enough to be heard inside the house. And then with the car getting lit up from the inside because of the door opening, she saw the green and white varsity jackets and the cocky grins and tousled hairstyles. And then she saw it was Lucas who’d gotten out of the car, yelling out something to the guys inside before turning to jog up towards the front door. 

Shit.

Max stepped away from the window, anxiously twisting her hands together. No, no, this was not what they’d agreed on. When she’d agreed on going to the party with him, she’d specifically said that she didn’t want to be picked up from her new house. They were supposed to meet up at the school parking lot when the team was back from the away game and then they’d go to the party from there. This was not the plan! Having reached the door, Lucas rang the doorbell, and for a second Max debated the option of just pretending she wasn’t home. But then she realized that since the lights in the living room were on, he could clearly see that someone was there. Shit shit shit. She stalled in place for a moment longer, shifting her weight from one foot to the other, hearing him ring the doorbell again. But then she sighed, realizing that the plans had changed and that she had to just roll with it now. She also didn’t want to leave Lucas waiting in the freezing snow. So she walked up to the door, taking a deep breath in preparation, knowing the rest of the guys in the car could see her the second she opened the door. They were probably all craning their necks, curious to see who it was Lucas was telling them to come pick up at a dinghy trailer park. What a great first impression! 

Screwing her eyes shut in preparation, Max shot her hand forward and opened the front door. She was instantly blinded by the bright headlights, blinking to see Lucas quickly turning to look at her, his arms up to cover his face from the snowfall.

“Oh great, you’re still here! I was starting to think you’d left for the school already,” he rambled, sounding relieved, glancing over his shoulder at the car. Max could see his nerves, how much he wanted this to go well, wanted to look cool in front of his teammates. Which was why she was so confused as to why the hell he’d thought it would be a good idea to bring them here.

“Yeah, I was just about to leave,” she replied, trying her best to keep from looking over at the car, wanting to seem all cool and collected.

“Well are you ready to go then?” Lucas asked, looking over at her, his gaze flicking over to her green puffer coat. Wait, should she change out of it? Maybe it wasn’t really something to wear to a party. 

“Yeah uh, just a sec, I’ll—” she mumbled before leaving him waiting in the open doorway as she ran back to her room, picking up her gray windbreaker, figuring it was less obnoxious. Picking up her house keys from the bowl on the kitchen counter she rushed back to the door, well aware of how she was holding everyone up. 

“Okay, ready!” she told Lucas, flicking up her hair from where it had gotten caught under the jacket collar.

“Okay!” he replied with a smile that was a mix of relief, nerves, and excitement.

“Oh and um, thanks again for coming with me," he added, his smile still nervous but more genuine, relieved, and Max shrugged, about to answer that it wasn't a big deal. But before she did, someone yelled out from the car:

“Sinclair! Grab your girl and get going, we're already late!”

“Coming!” Lucas yelled back, turning to Max and looking at her with raised eyebrows. Ready? Max nodded tightly, locking the door behind her and then they rushed down the steps, slippery from the snow. Lucas reached the car first, opening the door he’d gotten out of.

“Thanks,” Max muttered, getting in and expecting him to get into the car after her. But instead he closed the door, rounding to the back of the station wagon and getting into the back. Max whipped her head around, trying to see where he was going. The car was packed, three people in the front, two in the back, and three on the backseat next to her, two basketball players, judging by the team jackets, and what seemed like one of their girlfriends, sitting on his lap. Eight people, with all their eyes fixed on her. 

“Guys this is Max, my girlfriend,” Lucas piped up from the back of the car, and Max didn’t even have time to register how she felt about hearing him introduce her as his girlfriend to all these strangers, she was too busy being petrified in place.

“Hi,” she said lamely, trying and failing to not seem like a total Freshman loser. But it seemed like the people in the car were more interested in getting to the party already than focusing on her, as they gave her polite hi’s and nods as the car pulled off the driveway and got going. After the quick dash to the car in the freezing snow, the air inside the station wagon was stuffy and warm, the side windows fogged from all the people crammed inside. 

“I’m pretty sure it’s a left from here?” one of the guys on the front seat said as the car slowed to the crossing leading out of the trailer park.

“Yeah, and then a right on Culver Road and then just straight till the gas station crossing. It’s easy to get to Loch Nora from there,” another one of them said as the driver made a left.

“Hope all the booze isn’t gone by the time we get there,” the driver commented. He looked at the back of the car through the rearview mirror. 

“Thanks for making us be late, Sinclair,” he said to Lucas with an annoyed scoff. Max tried to glance over at where he was sitting from the corner of her eye without moving her head, not wanting to draw even more attention to either one of them. But it seemed like the others were over it, as the guy sitting in the front middle seat spoke before Lucas could say anything:

“Well we stopped at the gas station for chips anyway so we were already gonna be late.” The driver shrugged at that, taking another turn. They drove in silence for a minute, the windshield wipers moving back and forth against the snowfall outside. The warm stuffy air was making everything feel even more cramped and uncomfortable, and Max could feel her face heating up and getting all red and blotchy. Great.

“You know, I’m pretty sure that the lady who used to clean my house lives over there at the trailer park,” the driver said then, looking back at Max through the mirror.

“You know her?”

“No, I just moved there,” Max replied quickly, hoping he wouldn’t notice the redness of her cheeks and comment something dumb about it. But she figured he didn’t notice it in the dim lighting, as he just nodded, focusing back on the road, slowing to a stop sign.

“Was that the maid that stole that super expensive vase from your house?” the guy from next to Max asked, leaning forward towards the front seat. 

“Yeah, that one,” the driver said, adding:

“But it turned out that she didn’t steal it after all. Apparently someone broke it during the rager my sister threw at the house last summer. But we didn’t find out until after we fired that lady,” he explained, ending with a shrug of “but what can you do?”. He looked back at Max again, a gross grin on his face.

“You better not steal anything. These are some brand new seat covers,” he shot at her and Max could feel her face heating up even more, this time not from the stuffy air but from mad embarrassment and irritation. But she didn’t let it show, letting her hands ball into fists inside her jacket pockets, out of sight, and said:

“Not planning on it.”

“Good. I won't hesitate to pat you down to check once we get to the party,” the driver continued, grinning wickedly at the last words, the rest of the guys laughing at him, the girl sitting in one of the guys’ lap giving him a scoff and a weak slap upside the head. Max didn’t laugh, instead biting the inside of her cheek and looking out the window. She couldn’t wait to get out of this car. 

The curb and driveway were packed with cars as they piled out of the station wagon, the snow had eased up a bit and people were milling around, slowly walking up to the house. The house at the end of the carefully manicured front lawn and long driveway was huge, with three stories of brick walls and bright white window shutters. Tall columns decorated the entrance where the double doors were open to let in the party-goers, music and lights flooding from the inside to the dark freezing night. Max remembered being here once before, almost a year and a half ago when she’d been hunting full-sized candy bars around Loch Nora along with the rest of the party, dressed up as Michael Meyers. And it was like she was still wearing the Halloween costume, judging by the looks she was getting from people at the party as she stepped into the grand foyer, trailing just a step behind everyone else from the car. She didn’t know most of these people since they were all upperclassmen, and she wasn’t quite sure if they knew who she was either, if they were just annoyed at the sight of a weird Freshman suddenly entering their party. The other option, the worse one, was that they knew exactly who she was. The weird, poor little sister of a previous star of the basketball team who’d died in a freak accident. The girl who was friends with that creepy little kid who had come back from the dead, the girl whose dad had skipped town and taken all the money, and — once the rumor about where she’d been picked up from had had time to spread — the girl who was sad trailer trash.

“There you are! The hell took you so long, everyone else is already here?” came the loud booming voice of Jason, the team captain, from the living room at the end of the foyer.

“Sorry man, we had a couple detours. But we’ve got chips and we’ve got chicks! Let’s get this party started!” the driver announced, showing the chip bags in his hand and cocking his head back towards the back of the group. It took every ounce of self-control in Max’s body not to punch him in the face. But she saw Lucas glancing over at her from where he was standing a couple people over, his eyes begging her to just leave it be. And Max knew how much he wanted this to go well, and she had promised herself to not mess this up for him. So she stayed quiet. It didn’t matter much anyways, since Jason just made a quick and pretty bored glance over at them before going back to his drink. 

The group dispersed from there as some of the guys spotted their friends from across the room, and some went to the kitchen to get drinks. As even more people got into the living room, it was all a blur of loud Guns N’ Roses music, varsity jackets and red solo cups. Max turned around in place, trying to see where Lucas had gone to, spotting him a bit away, talking to one of his teammates. He was also looking around, meeting her eye soon after she spotted him. He looked back at her, sending a silent “all good?” with his expression, turning towards her to start making his way over. Or that’s what Max guessed he planned on doing, since he never made it to her, as another one of his teammates grabbed him by his shoulder. The music was somehow getting even louder and Max couldn’t tell what he was saying, but by his insistent pointing towards the kitchen, Max figured it was about getting drinks. Lucas looked back towards her again to check on her, and even though Max was pretty freaked out by the prospect of being left all by herself at the loud party packed with jocks, she also knew he wanted his teammates to like him. She also didn't want to make it seem like she was helpless without him or anything, no way. So she nodded back at him. She could handle this. Starting to get dragged towards the kitchen by his teammates, Lucas turned back one more time, this time yelling out something to her, but Max couldn’t hear it over the music, just giving him a thumbs up, hoping it made sense to what he was trying to say. And just like that he’d disappeared into the crowd. Max turned away to look around the living room, at the people sprawled over the expensive looking couches pushed against the walls as the floor was filled with people dancing, the music seeming to come from everywhere, a Duran Duran song playing. She needed to find some place to lay low and take cover.

After wandering the house for a bit, careful not to bump into anyone, Max found herself in a sunroom of some kind, with big windows lining the walls and an empty concrete pool in the middle, a scattering of crushed beer cans littering the bottom. There were people coming and going onto the back deck, Max guessed to go smoke since there was no other reason they’d voluntarily go out into the freezing air, but other than that the room was pretty empty, the loud music not quite reaching it. Zipping up her windbreaker against the cooler air, Max walked over to a pair of rattan chairs in the corner of the room, taking a seat. She imagined the chairs were there to sit and relax during summer, with the indoor pool right in reach but the roof giving shade from the July heat. It sure would be nice, having a house big enough for a designated pool room. It would be pretty nice to sit out here, reading comics or something, and then take a dip in the pool. The empty pool also looked like it could be pretty great for skating. Too bad she hadn’t brought her board. 

Preoccupied with the insane image of her casually just whipping out a skateboard in the middle of the jock party and truly giving them something to stare at, Max didn’t notice as someone came in from outside, only noticing the girl as she audibly shivered, hugging a varsity jacket around herself in the cold. She looked around the room and saw Max, giving her a quick wave, her hand buried inside the sleeve of the jacket.

“Hey. Taking a break?” she asked, looking at the loudness of the party going on inside the house through the glass doors.

“Yeah,” Max answered and the girl nodded in understanding, starting to walk over to her. She sat down on the other chair, still fussing with the oversized jacket.

“You’d better stay here, it’s absolutely freezing out there, good god,” she said, cocking her head towards the direction of the deck.

“Yeah I figured I’d rather not get frostbite," Max said.

They sat in silence for a bit, the girl warming herself up, and Max trying to think if she knew her, if they shared any classes or something. That had to be what was going on here, she wouldn’t come sit with a total stranger.

“So you’re Lucas’s girlfriend, right?” the girl asked after a minute, turning towards Max, her gaze curious but not really in a gossipy way.

“Uh, yeah, I’m Max,” Max replied, feeling a bit awkward. How did she know?

“I’m Jennifer,” the girl introduced herself.

“You probably don’t know me and that’s fine. I only know who you are since pretty much all my friends are in the cheer squad and know all the team’s business,” she explained with a light laugh at the ridiculousness of jock gossip. 

“But umm,” she started again, sounding more serious this time.

“I used to take the same bus to school with Lucas and Mike back in elementary school, before I moved away from Maple Street. I wasn’t friends with them or in the same grade, but umm when all that happened with poor Will back in ‘83, I really felt so bad for them all, my family was at the funeral and everything.”

And she really did look sorry, her smile kind as she leaned towards Max. 

“All that to say that now that it’s all over, I’m happy to see they’re doing okay. That everything is good now,” Jennifer said, smiling softly as she looked Max straight in the eye. Max was able to conjure a smile on her face in reply, although all she could think of was how completely wrong she was. It wasn’t all good now, it wasn’t all over. The incident with Will had just been the start. Even if all the gates had been closed and Owens and his people insisted that there was nothing to worry about anymore, Max couldn't help but feel that the Upside Down wasn't done with Hawkins yet. But she did still appreciate Jennifer’s kindness, however misguided. She wished she was clueless like her to what really was going on.

“So, you and Lucas, huh? How are things with you two? I haven’t seen you at these things before,” Jennifer asked, her tone more conversational now. Max shrugged.

“Yeah, it’s my first party. The basketball stuff is really his thing, not mine,” she explained.

“Oh I remember my first high school party,” Jennifer said with a light laugh, looking inside the house through the glass doors.

“It was the first party of the semester, and this one guy in the basketball team brought me as his date, and I didn’t know anyone else there so I was so nervous. But I got through it, it was pretty fun after all,” she explained, clearly reminiscing. 

“Is that his?” Max couldn’t help but ask, gesturing over at the team jacket Jennifer was wearing. It seemed to take a second for her to realize what she meant, looking down at the jacket. 

“Oh, this? No, we broke up before my Freshman Homecoming. I’m not even sure whose jacket this is, I was just cold and someone gave it to me,” she said, looking down at the jacket. She let out a laugh, picking at the name embroidered to the front of it.

“Looks like this is Jacob’s. Guess I have to go and give it back to him.”

“Yeah, probably,” Max shrugged. Jennifer echoed her words, getting up from the chair. 

“Well, I hope your first party goes well. These things can be fun, I promise,” she said, turning back to look at Max as she walked away.

“Thanks. I hope you're right,” Max replied. With one last smile and a wave, Jennifer walked back outside, the door opening letting in the loud voices of the people out on the back patio. As it closed and muffled the noise again Max sighed, debating her next move. Maybe it was time she got back inside. She once again reminded herself that she was supposed to be optimistic now, trying to get that new start. She was already at the party, she couldn't give up now. She sat there, gathering her strength for a moment longer, and then pushed herself up, her steps resolute as she walked up to the glass doors and stepped back into the house. The music and noise and stuffy air hit her as soon as she did, but she pushed on, determined to at least try to not be miserable the whole night. Thought it wouldn’t hurt if Lucas could show up from wherever the hell he’d disappeared off to…

“Hey, Max!”

She turned towards the voice she could just about hear over the loud music and well speaking of Lucas!

“Oh, hey!” she called back, seeing him pushing past a group of people talking by the doorway. She tried to not seem like she’d been waiting around for him for too long. Because she hadn’t. She could handle herself. He was holding a red cup, careful not to spill it as he navigated through the crowd of people to make his way towards her.

“Here you go,” he said as he reached her, handing the cup over to her. Max looked down at the cup and the red liquid in it, her brow furrowing in confusion.

“Huh?”

“Remember? I asked if you wanted a drink too,” Lucas said, pointing back towards the kitchen. 

“Oh, right, thanks,” Max mumbled, taking the cup from him.

“But um, I don’t think I’d drink that if I were you. It tastes pretty gross,” Lucas admitted in a lower tone, pointing at the cup. Max brought the cup up to her nose, smelling it. Smelled like cherries and rubbing alcohol. Looking back at Lucas, she couldn’t help but to wrinkle her nose in disgust. He huffed out a laugh at that, in a “told you.” 

They stood in silence for a second, the people around them coming and going out the door to get to the patio, loud chatter and laughter filling the room, the music loud as ever.

“So, um, how are you liking the party? Where have you been, didn’t see you in the living room,” Lucas spoke up after a while, leaning forward to speak so she could hear him over the music.

“It's fine, I was just outside in the pool room. It’s less loud there,” Max replied, raising her voice a bit too. Lucas nodded and then they were quiet again, looking around in the busy room, a loud game of beer pong going on on the other side of the room over a grand dining table that probably cost more than Max’s whole house. Max tapped her fingers along the plastic of the cup, figuring if this was the right time to bring up the car ride, knowing she needed to talk to Lucas about it. Finally she decided to just go for it, opening her mouth to speak, but Lucas spoke up just as she did.

"So about—"

"Hey I—"

Max grit her teeth in embarrassment, Lucas gesturing his hands in apology. This was going great.

"You can go first," he said.

Max swallowed, pushing herself to just say it. "Okay umm..."

"Why did you get the team to pick me up at my house?" Max asked, deciding she should just be point blank about this. She saw guilt and embarrassment rising to Lucas's face, figuring he knew the question was coming. 

"I'm sorry, I know you said you didn't want us to come to your house, but it just—" he started to explain, but Max, not able to fight her frustration now, cut him off:

"Yeah that was my one condition to even coming here in the first place," she said, looking down at the cup in her hands, the words coming out in a passive aggressive mumble.

"If it's about what they said to you in the car, that was totally out of line and I'm sorry," Lucas rushed to say. He continued, shrugging:

"That's just how they are sometimes, you just gotta ignore it."

"Yeah I know, but that's why I didn't want to give them any extra ammunition against me. They already think I'm the weird girl with the dead brother, didn't need them to also know I'm trailer trash," Max explained with a frustrated sigh.

"You're not," Lucas hurried to say and Max shot him a look to tell him to quit it. Ever since she had moved to Forest Hills, he'd never made any comments about it, which she did appreciate. But she knew he knew just as well as she did that it was a shitty area of town to live in. A step down even from Old Cherry Lane.

"That's easy for you to say, coming from Maple Street," she pointed out.

"I know. But what I was trying to say is that that's just how the guys in the team are sometimes. It totally sucks but you just need to brush it off," Lucas explained, looking away as he added:

"Trust me, I've learned to do that." 

Max could tell there was something there just below his words, something he didn't want to get into right now, but the hurt of it was almost surfacing in his expression.

"You shouldn't have to," Max pointed out after a beat of silence. She hoped that he got that she wasn't really annoyed at him, just at the whole basketball team thing in general.

"I know. It's just easier to deal with them that way," Lucas said, looking back at her again.

"And at least they're not pushing us into lockers anymore, right?" he added with a huff of laughter that seemed strained, like he just wanted to push past the issue.

Max hummed, looking down at the cup in her hands again. She could tell he didn't like defending them, but was doing it to make sure things ran smoothly; with the party and with his place in the team in general. And she couldn't blame him for that.

"But um," Lucas spoke up after a moment. Max looked back up at him and saw him biting his lips together, his gaze a little restless. She knew that nervous look.

"To tell you the truth, the reason why I made them pick you up at your house was because the weather was so shitty, I didn't want you to have to bike all the way to the school all by yourself," he admitted, and though she was still mad about it, Max couldn't help the warm flutter in her chest. Damn him for being dumb and always looking out for her.

"Okay," she said after taking a second to take his words in.

"I still would've appreciated a head's up, and I don’t want you to do that again, but it's fine," she said, not meeting his eyes to hide how much she’d appreciated the gesture, however badly timed.

"Okay," Lucas said, visibly exhaling, hearing her reply.

"But you’re right, the guys in the car really were being such wastoids, I don't really like them either, they were just the only ones with space in the car,” he explained.

“Next time I'll just ask Patrick to give us a ride or something," he added and Max nodded, seeing his start to look around them in the busy room. 

“Hey uh, speaking of Patrick. I think he’s back in the living room, we can go say hi to him if you want?” Lucas asked, turning back to focus on her again. 

“I know you guys haven’t properly met or anything, but he’s cool, I’m sure you’d like him,” he added. Max bit her lips together, looking past Lucas at the living room. She really wasn’t looking forward to speaking to anyone else in the team, having planned on just laying low and staying out of everyone’s way for the rest of the night. But she could tell Lucas really wanted her to meet Patrick, who Max had figured was one of his best friends in the team. So maybe it was him softening her up with what he’d just said, or just her own insistence of acting like a normal teenager again, but she found herself giving Lucas a reply:

“Okay, sure.”

"Yeah?" he asked, surprised, like making sure he’d heard right, and Max nodded, putting down the cup of gross punch on a side table next to a shiny candlestick that looked heavy enough that you could clock someone over the head with it. Maybe she should grab it, to have it ready in case of any more comments from the basketball assholes. 

"Okay, great! I think I saw him over there, follow me," Lucas said with a surprised and excited smile, taking her hand - before she'd had time to grab the candlestick baton - as he turned to push through the crowd, guiding her along. Yeah, maybe this was a better plan.

Lucas had been right, Max did like Patrick okay. Even though she’d never really met him or spoken to him, he must’ve figured out from Lucas who she was, since he actually acknowledged her sometimes if they were passing by in the hallway, giving her a quick polite nod or look as they passed, not ignoring or side-eying her like pretty much everyone else at school. He wasn't a Freshman like them but he wasn't an ass about it, and from what Max had gathered he'd kind of taken Lucas under his wing in the team, since it was his second year, so he was teaching him the ropes and such. Max could tell Lucas really looked up to Patrick, speaking about him like he was the coolest person in school. That had earned him a plenty of eyerolls and joking jabs around the lunch table, the party telling him he was way too eager to drink the popularity Kool-Aid and that Patrick was no cooler than any of them were, since unlike them, he hadn’t even met a single person with superpowers or fought against any interdimensional monsters. 

But it was all jokes. Max knew full well Patrick was a lot cooler than they were, cooler than she was. A fact that was more than clear now as they sat on one of the plush couches, everyone around them turned to Patrick as he recapped tonight's game, all confidence and bright white grins and emotive gestures of his hands. It turns out the Tigers had actually won tonight’s game; a fact Max was a bit embarrassed she hadn’t even bothered to ask Lucas about. But it didn’t look like he minded, and as Max looked over at where he sat on the couch next to her, he just looked focused on the conversation with Patrick, laughing and nodding along at his recounting of the game, pointing out something here and there. He looked happy, relaxed, and Max was happy for him, though she couldn’t help the pang of jealousy she also felt at it; he was really fitting in well, making it look so easy.

“Yeah so safe to say, if we stick to the energy we had on the court tonight, we’re totally going to make it into the playoffs this year!” Patrick declared, raising his cup before finishing his drink, his words garnering excited whoops and hollers from the people around them. Lucas also laughed and nodded in agreement, turning to look at Max who mirrored his nod, hoping she seemed invested enough. The conversation moved on as Patrick sat up, seemingly going to top up his drink, and there was a shuffle of new people moving into their corner of the living room, with two couches by the walls meeting in the corner with a tall lamp. 

“Hey,” Lucas then said, and Max turned to look at him.

“I really need to go to the bathroom, but I won’t be long or anything, I’ll be back in a minute,” he explained quickly, pausing for her reaction, his eyes right on hers. Looking around at all the strange Seniors and Juniors hanging around, Max wasn’t sure if she was loving the idea of being left by herself again. But she also didn’t want to make this a big deal.

“Okay,” she said, just about to add that maybe she would tag along to also use the bathroom after him or something, but before she’d had time to, he’d already gotten up from the couch, saying:

“Okay great! Just wait here, I’ll be right back!”

And then he was off already, disappearing into the crowd dancing in the middle of the living room. Max exhaled in annoyance, glancing around herself, debating if she should just leave anyways, she would find him once he was on his way back. No one seemed to be paying attention to her, too focused on dancing or drinking or talking, maybe she could just leave too without making much noise. 

“Hey, you!”

Panic lurching in her stomach, Max quickly looked up in reaction to the voice. It was Jason, the captain of the basketball team, walking over to her and sitting down on the other couch.

“Me?” she asked, unsure, instinctively shifting where she sat to get farther away from him. 

“Yeah, you. Aren’t you Hargrove’s sister?” Jason asked, his brow knit in focus as he narrowed his eyes as he looked over at her. Max gulped. 

“Yeah,” she replied shortly. This was just another reason why she hadn’t looked forward to talking with people from the basketball team.

“What’s your name?” Jason asked her, just as a couple more people sat down on the couch next to him. An image of vultures circling and surrounding their prey flashed into Max’s mind.

“Max.”

"Well Max. I just wanted to say, from everyone in the team, we were all so shocked to hear the news when your brother died. It was really messed up," Jason said, looking right at her.

Max didn't know how to even reply to that. Did he want a thanks or something?

"He was only a part of the team for one season but he still became a part of the brotherhood, right guys?"

The team members around them all nodded along and Max still didn’t know what Jason wanted from her. Was she supposed to go around the circle, expressing her gratitude to each teammate? Not sure what to say, she just nodded silently, hoping that her uncomfortable expression could be read as her being sad about them bringing up the accident. 

"It still feels so weird that he's actually gone," Jason spoke up after taking a swig of his beer.

"Yeah especially since the whole explosion thing was such a freak accident, you know,” the guy sitting next to him said.

“A super grody way to go." 

"For sure,” Jason agreed. He took another drink, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand before leaning forward where he sat, leaning his elbows on his legs. Max shifted in place instinctively as he got closer to her. She had no idea what his game plan was, but she had a bad feeling about it.

“It's hard to wrap your mind around it. Especially with all the shit people are saying," Jason said, focusing back on Max.

"What shit?" one of the guys asked, and Max had a bad feeling that he was in on it too. Whatever Jason’s plan was. 

"Oh you know, the rumors and theories and all that, it's all super disrespectful," Jason answered, glancing over at Max with a look of disappointment over the rumors he was talking about. She almost thought it was genuine.

"But like I get it, we all want to know what happened to our teammate, so it makes sense people have theories," he said, spreading his hands, gesturing with his half empty bottle of beer.

"I’ve talked about it with my dad and he’s sure the explosion was an inside job, that Mayor Kline was in on it," a girl, still dressed in her cheerleader uniform, chimed in, looking a bit skeptical, like she didn’t fully believe it. 

"Oh he was in on it for sure, with all the illegal shit he had going on at the mall,” a guy Max recognized from the car earlier, said, his speech a little slurred by the beers he’d probably already jugged. The group around them erupted into debating the disgraced former mayor’s shady dealings and Max tried to shrink back against the couch, hoping that the topic would move on and that she could slip away unnoticed when it did. 

"You guys know what the worst rumor is?” Jason spoke up again, his voice loud over the argument, people turning to listen to him. Seemed like it was his influence as the team captain, getting everyone in the room to focus on what he was saying. He took a drink, everyone waiting quietly for what he had to say, as he reveled in the attention that he held, that douche.

“I mean, it's like super disrespectful, but I've heard people say that they think Billy looked like he was high on something during his last shift at the pool. Apparently he was acting all shifty and shit, and looking like he was out of it.”

People nodded along and murmured in agreement. After the mall incident, word had traveled fast that both Billy and Heather had ditched work before the fourth of July, and some Junior swore she’d seen him acting sketchy coming out of the chemical supply shed.

“And I’ve also heard his car was at the mall parking lot that night. And not only was it there, but it looked like it had been fully totaled,” Jason added, the murmurs around them growing louder. Wait, how did he know about the car?

“So maybe he'd been driving while high as a kite, and crashed the car into like some gas pipes or shit, and that caused the explosion that killed everybody.”

There were sharp shocked intakes of breath around the room before the conspiratorial murmurs picked back up again, some people telling Jason to cut it out, some just exclaiming how that would totally make sense. Max didn’t say anything, biting the inside of her cheek to stay quiet. Because as totally wrong as Jason was, he was also sort of right in a twisted way. Billy was responsible for all the deaths that night.

"Now, I don't know if that's really true,” Jason spoke up over the clamor again, everyone turning their attention to him again, ears perked for any more scandalous details. But as everyone turned to look at him, he turned to look at Max. His eyes were a bit glassy from all the drinking but there was something sharp in them, a cruel edge, ready to strike out. Max held her breath. 

“But you know, while you're here, Max, I just wanted to hear your two cents. Cause weren't you there that night too?" 

Max froze in place, ice zipping through her veins as she felt everyone within earshot turning to stare at her. How could he possibly know? Owens and all his government people had been in charge of the cover-up and they'd made sure none of them could be connected to the "gas explosion" at Starcourt. Like last time they’d all signed a bunch of paperwork vowing them to silence, and been given cover stories to stick to. If any outsider would ask her about it, Max was supposed to say that she had been at the Fourth of July fair with the rest of the party, that none of them had been even close to the mall.

"No, I—"

"You don't need to lie, I know you were there,” Jason dismissed her with a wave of a beer bottle, continuing:

“See, my uncle owns the insurance office downtown. The same one your stepdad worked at before he left town. And he heard him talking about it, about how you were there too but somehow miraculously survived while all those people died. Including your stepbrother.”

Jason shrugged, gesturing with the beer bottle, some falling onto the plush carpet. "So I don't know. I guess you could say I'm just a little curious how exactly you were able to outrun a gas explosion."

Out of the corner of her eye Max could see Lucas pushing through the crowd that had quietly gathered around, looking confused, his gaze searching to find hers. As it did, his expression sent her a silent "what's going on?". She didn't have time to answer him, as Jason also noticed he'd walked in.

"Hey Lucas, do you know? She probably told you,” he asked and then it was Lucas’s turn to have everyone’s eyes on him.

"Know what?" he asked, continuing to look confused, now even more so, shifting in place awkwardly under the intense staring.

"What your girlfriend was doing at Starcourt on Fourth of July and how she managed to just walk away while all those people died?"

Lucas's eyes snapped back to meet Max’s for just a second before he looked away. Which was a smart move, he couldn't make it seem like he was in on it, like he was anything but confused about what Jason was talking about. It seemed like he didn't know Lucas had been involved in the incident too, and they needed to keep it that way. 

"I don't know what you're talking about, Jason. She was with me, we weren't at the mall," he spoke up and Max could tell he was trying his best to keep his face level and not let his panic show.  

"Sure," Jason drew out, taking a sip of beer.

"Max, don't get me wrong. I'm sure having a brother die like that must hurt like hell, I get that you wouldn't wanna talk about it," he continued, turning his full attention back to her again, leaning forward.

"But lying about it and not coming forward to the police if you do know something is a pretty fucked up thing to do, don't you think?”

Max kept her eyes down, her hands tensing into fists in her lap, her nails digging sharply into her palms. 

“Makes me wonder if it wasn’t actually Billy who blew them all to smithereens. Maybe it was you."

That was enough. She needed to get out of there. Now. 

Everything seemed to blur around Max as her heartbeat echoed loudly in her ears as she felt herself stand up from the couch and start to push through the crowd to find a way out. She could faintly hear Lucas telling Jason to cut it out, but the rest of the argument that broke out was all muffled as she kept on pushing past people, finally getting to the foyer and the grand double doors that she pushed open, desperately needing to get out. The freezing air slammed into her the second she stepped outside, the snow falling more heavily now. But Max didn’t care, she just needed to get away. She crossed the driveway in quick long strides, desperately wanting to create distance between herself and the party as quickly as possible. Later she’d realize that storming out like that without defending herself in any way didn’t look great when it came to convincing everyone that she was innocent. But right now she had a one-track mind, her only goal was getting the hell out of here.

“Max!” 

She heard Lucas calling out after her but kept walking along.

“Hey, are you okay? Where are you going?”

“Away from here!” she shot back. She didn’t need to answer the first question. He could obviously tell she wasn’t okay.

“Well let me just get someone to drive you home, it’s a long walk and it’s freezing out!”

“No fucking way, I’ve had it up to here with your new friends! I’m walking!"

“Okay so let me walk with you, make sure you get home okay,” Lucas still persisted.

Max finally stopped, turning on her heel to face Lucas, the fresh snow squeaking under her shoes. 

“If you wanted me to be okay, why did you make me come here in the first place? I didn’t want to come, I knew something like this would happen, I just knew it!”

“But this morning you said—”

“Yeah cause you kept bugging me about it so I felt too guilty to say no!” she yelled at him. It was only partly true, he had asked her about it a lot, and she'd agreed to come to be nice. But she left out the part where she'd pushed herself to come to the party to stick to her attempt of living a normal life again.

“I’m sorry, okay! Obviously I didn’t know shit like this was going to happen, I just wanted to show you that not everyone in the team sucks, that some of them are actually pretty cool," Lucas explained in defense. Max rolled her eyes at him.

“Yeah, they all seem like such great guys!"

“Jason was way out of line, I know. He shouldn’t have targeted you like that,” Lucas replied in agreement.

“He was probably just drunk and wanting to mess with someone. I’m sure he’s gonna forget all about it by Monday,” he assured her. 

“But now the rumor is out there. That I had something to do about the mall explosion," Max said, a cold feeling of dread filling her as she imagined going to school next Monday, when the whole school would've heard about it, everyone suspecting her of murdering thirty people.

“Well you just need to stick to the cover story, I’m sure—” Lucas continued to assure her but she cut him off again:

“Okay so then on top of lying about it, I’d also be covering it too, even better!” she shot back at him. Lucas opened his mouth to immediately reply but then closed it, shifting in place, clearly unsure what to say to that. And Max couldn't really blame him. What was he supposed to say? There was nothing either of them could do about this, what had happened last summer, had happened, and they could do nothing but shut their mouths about it, lay low and hope and pray no one found out they had a role in it.

The understanding of that fact seemed to silently pass between them, as Lucas sighed, finally speaking up again.

"Max, I'm really sorry for what Jason said. I get why you're upset. If I would've known he was gonna do that, I obviously wouldn't have made you come tonight."

After a beat he continued, spreading his arms. 

"I don't know, I guess I just thought that if you tried to get to know the team better, you'd—"

"You think I'm not trying? Are you seriously saying that?!" Max yelled at him, not believing her ears. Was he actually saying that?

"Wait, no, I—"

"I'm trying so hard! I'm trying to get a fresh start, I'm trying to push away what happened last year and start living my life again. I'm trying to be nice to you by coming here tonight even if I didn't really want to. I keep trying and trying and I thought I could fake it all but now I just…" her angry, frustrated words faded into a defeated silence. 

She hated losing, hated failing. It hurt to admit it but she had failed once again, failed at convincing Lucas, everyone at the party, and herself that things had really changed with the new year. But there was no fresh new start, no new and improved, optimistic her who could go to a jock party like it was no big deal. And she'd been an idiot for even thinking that could've been possible in the first place.

“I just want everyone to leave me alone.”

“Everyone?” 

Max turned to look at Lucas who spoke up again after being quiet for the last while. The word he let out was weighty as he looked over at her, hurt painting his features.

Max sighed.

“I just can’t do all this, okay," she said, gesturing at the grand house behind him, the lights of its tall windows bright in the snowy darkness outside.

"It's clear I don't fit in here, and I'm tired of pretending I do."

“Okay," Lucas simply replied after a moment.

"Just let me go back inside and ask Patrick to give us a ride home. He said he wasn’t planning on staying long anyways so I’m sure he’d be cool with it,” he added, his words a little frantic and nervous but also pleading, like he was trying his best not to spook her and make her run off.

Max sighed, weighing her options. She truly didn’t want to see anyone from the team ever again. But the snowfall was really starting to freeze her over, and the thought of walking all the way across the dark town in it wasn’t great. She was tired. She just wanted to be back home already.

“Fine.”