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“Sam, are you sure? I don’t think it’s a good idea”
“Yeah, you’ll be fine, they are just kids”
Bucky was spending another weekend at Sam’s place in Louisiana to attend the weekly community cookout. Last times were glorious, he felt included, like he was another member of the Wilson family and everyone’s family. There, he was just Bucky Barnes and he felt free and happy. Now they were about to go sailing because the kids wanted to, and while Sam would be on the front, someone have to take care of the kids behind so no one would have an accident.
“Maybe I should sail the boat and you take care of the kids”
“You have dealt with aliens and you are afraid of some kids? Come on Barnes, that way you will lose the fear of them, and by the way, my nephews like you, so, don’t worry”
“Right, I know, but if something happens it will be entirely your fault Wilson”
Sam, Bucky and the children embarked on the boat, all of them with life jackets on. The last to board was that little blue-eyed brunette who Bucky hasn’t seen before, she looked reckless and unafraid of whatever was coming, and she should have been at least six years old. She was with The Ellois, an old couple who seem to be her grandparents, maybe she was on vacation and that’s why he was unfamiliar with her. But somehow, she had something that looked familiar to him.
When they were already in high sea, all the children were amazed by the view, so was Bucky, even though he had seen it countless of times after coming there. He checked all the time that the children didn’t step onto something that could be dangerous to them. The only one who didn't lift from her seat, was the little brunette. Bucky felt anxious, he had to admit he was kind of afraid to approach her, in the sense of getting closer to those little humans, it was easier to talk to the grown-ups.
“Hey, don’t you want to see the sea?”
The girl didn’t lift her gaze from the ground, she seemed about to cry.
“Yes, but...”
In that moment, Bucky felt a viscous liquid leap onto his boots, his pants and part of his jacket. The little girl had just thrown up upon him, which was the reason she hasn’t joined the other kids to admire the view and then the named children started laughing and the girl just started crying.
“I want to go back, I want my mommy, I’m sorry”
“No, no, it’s okay, don’t feel bad for it”
Bucky put a hand on her shoulder to calm her, shushed all the other kids and asked her name.
“Charlotte”
“Okay Charlotte, my name is Bucky, have you ever been in a boat before?”
“No but I wanted to get in because I wanted to see the fish”
“It’s normal to, you know, throw up, I did it the first time too”
“Really?”
“Yes, my friend Steve and I were so dizzy, the captain had to get off us the boat, but that won’t happen here, okay, come on, do you trust me?”
“Mommy say I shouldn’t trust strangers”
“But we aren’t strangers anymore, we know each other’s name right?”
The little girl nodded and Bucky took her by her little hand, carried her on his shoulder and started showing her the sea. At first, Charlotte, was trembling but as minutes passed by, she stopped and started giggling. Bucky was surprised with himself about the calmness with which he was handling the situation, even more the easiness of talking with that little girl. That he remembered, he hadn’t dealt with little children even before de WWII, so doing it right now seemed odd because of how many years had gone by. Once they arrived to the port, Charlotte run to the Ellois, embarrassed of what had happened and that just made Bucky smile.
“It seems you are now prepared to be a father”
“I told you Wilson that if anything happened, it would be your fault, now you will have to buy me new clothes”
“To start a new family”
“Stop it, and you know that’s unlikely to happen”
“Never say never”
—
The community cookout was the next day so everyone reunite near the port to have a good time. Everyone brought food and drinks to share. Bucky was having a beer near the boat when someone approached him. It was the little girl who just had brought him a present. Alongside her there were the Ellois, who seemed as embarrassed as Charlotte was the day before.
“Mr. Bucky, I just bought you some cookies because I’m sorry for throwing up on you, I’m really sorry”
“Mr. Barnes” said the old man “we are very sorry for yesterday, we didn’t thought our niece would do such a mess”
“Oh no, it is okay, I explained to her it was normal when it’s your first time on a boat, so I hope you weren’t hard on her”
“Of course not, but we worried about your clothes, if you want us to wash them, we have no problem” said now the old woman, at which Bucky moved his head in a no.
Bucky accepted the pink box with a red ribbon and kept it on his navy blue jacket, the situation made him laugh internally. What he liked the most of being there was admiring the sunsets which was about to happen, it made him have peace, it reminded him of Wakanda and the times there. As the night was approaching, all of the people gather to see the stars and the kids start playing with fireworks. Everyone seemed to be having fun, except, of course, Charlotte, as she was too little to play with fireworks so the other children left her alone.
“Mr. Bucky, can I sit here?”
“Of course, kiddo”
Charlotte asked her family if she could go and be with “Mr. Bucky” and they told her unless she didn’t bother him, it was okay. She was getting really bored only being sit there, and being near the sea would be funnier and nearer the stars, because she likes stars so much. She didn’t asked him anymore questions, she just sit there near the boat with him, she thought he looked like a really good person because she saved her and that’s what she told her aunt and uncle about him. She couldn’t wait to tell her mommy about her adventure.
“So, the Ellois, are your aunt and uncle?”
“Yes, I’m here on vacation because mommy is working, and grandma is on vacation too, so she couldn’t take care of me, and Darcy is working in Westview, and the other uncles are outer space, so mommy said we should come to the States and visit some family”
“And your dad?”
“Hum, I don’t know, I ask my mom the same question, but she says we will find him one day. I think he is lost or something”
“And where do you live?”
“In a place called London, England in Europe”
“Right”
“Where are you from, Mr. Bucky?”
“I’m from Brooklyn, New York”
“I don’t know where it is but sounds far. Is it in this country?”
“Yes, not that far”
“Mr. Bucky, do you like stars? Mommy loves stars, so do I, every night she teaches me the constellations through the telescope but I always forget them, I just like watching them so much, because they are tiny lights and I do believe one day I will reach them”
“Yes, I like stars so much too, time ago I was living in a place where you could see all of them, every night, it was beautiful. So, I assume your mom, is a scientist?”
“Yes, that’s why she’s very busy, we haven’t separated this long since I remembered”
“And whats-“
“Mr. Bucky, do you have more strawberry milk, mine is already over”
Bucky hadn’t realised the girl was drinking from a milk box and eating cookies from the same similar pink box she gave him. He went to find more strawberry milk for her and when he arrived she was already gone, as most of the people were already leaving for their houses. Sam and family, left too, alongside Bucky. He couldn’t stop smiling, apparently, he has made a new friend, when his therapist knows about this she would start laughing too. Something is better than nothing.
—
Two weeks later, Bucky visited Sam again. The later was taking a break from being the new Captain America and wanted to spend time with his family before another mission arises. Same happened with Bucky. This weekend there was no community reunion, and he was there just to talk with his friend about the recent events where they hadn’t intervened and to train together. Bucky felt alone in his apartment in New York and like spending time with Sam whenever he can, plus getting fresh air every other weekend helped him calm his anxiousness. When they were running in the morning, the found the Ellois coming back from shopping groceries, and the little girl was still with them. She saw him and from afar she shouted his name and greeted him effusively.
“The girl really liked you, Bucky”
“I think I made a new friend, with you it counts two but my therapist just laughs about it and said it doesn’t count”
“It’s funny you know. I’ve been talking with the Ellois recently and they said Charlotte is a very calm girl, that she causes no trouble at all except for the time at the boat”
“I didn’t think she would be staying this long, you know something about her parents?”
“Nothing”
“Right”
“And I offered them today to take care of her while they go and fix their troubles with their electricity”
“You must be kidding me Sam, are we a day care centre or what?
“Come on Bucky, you two have the same child energy, and it is just going to be a few hours”
“Fine, I was planning to sleep all day and flirt with your sister, but fine”
It wasn’t that Bucky didn’t like Charlotte’s presence or something, but his plans for the evening were to sleep all day and then sail the boat for a bit, he would just be staying for a day. He had a soft spot for that girl, as if he wanted to protect her from any harm since the day he met her, those blue eyes were so familiar to him but even more her factions, he had the feeling he had seen her in another place before, but he hasn’t travelled to London for a while so it mustn’t had been there.
Charlotte arrived at 2 o’clock, and Sam nephews welcomed her into their house and take her outside to play with them. Bucky also went outside to watch them, leaning against the house entrance, arms crossed, his mind started going to places, good places, like how it would feel like to be a father, he couldn’t imagine it, having kids running around or carrying them or teaching them things, because of the kind of job he has and, the person he was. That thought just made his heart ache. He should better think about anything else. Whenever he has these thoughts about having a happy life, his past just comes rushing to remind him what he had done.
“Mr. Bucky, do you have strawberry milk?”
“Last time, I went for it and you were gone, but yeah, let me get inside”
Bucky, arrives with drinks for the others kids too and some snacks, hoping Sam or his sister didn’t mind, as he was now entering that house as if it was his own.
“There you are, you seem to like it so much, don’t you?”
“Thank you. Yes, pink is my favourite colour”
“Right. Have you liked spending vacations here?”
“Yes, aunt and uncle are very sweet with me”
“And when are you leaving?”
“Tomorrow mommy comes for me, I’m going to miss this place but I miss home even more”
“I’m leaving tomorrow too kiddo”
“Oh, so this is the last time I’m seeing you. Thank you Mr. Bucky from saving me in the boat, you are a really good person”
“Why do you think so?”
“Well, first, because you have the same blue eyes as mine and second because of the boat, so that’s why”
Bucky was surprised about the blue-eyed thing, he had thought about that a lot. He wanted to ask her why she considered him a good person, according to Sam, children always tell the truth, and he needed another someone to reassure him that he was now a good person.
The next day, he went to the port to admire the sea once again before he left, when he saw the Ellois and Charlotte. It seemed they had the same idea as him before the girl left to London and he to New York. They greeted each other from afar, and the girl seemed happy to see him as he was with seeing her. The family approached Bucky and started talking about things, while Charlotte was playing near the boats, trying to catch the sea birds. Suddenly, her little foot got trapped on a bridge wood, but as Bucky has really fast reflexes, he caught her before she fell to the ground. That’s when the little girl hugged him and thanked him. Then, she shouted.
“Mommy”
Bucky turned to see the woman greeting them and he froze there. It was her. It turned out she froze too at seeing him there, but anyway she approached them.
“Bucky Barnes, long time no see, what are you doing here?” asked her as calm as she could.
“Uhm, I...I came to visit my friend Sam, Sam Wilson, you know, Captain America”
“Good, uhm, well, we have to leave, our flight...we need to go soon, bye Bucky”
“Goodbye Mr. Bucky”
And just like that, the woman of his life left again. And that little girl too.
“So Jane Foster is Charlotte’s mother then”
Bucky couldn’t look away from them, that he hadn’t noticed Sam arrived just by his side.
“What? What are you talking about?”
“That’s Jane Foster. She worked with the team to save us, astrophysicist, genius, and Thor’s ex”
“That’s not possible”
“Yeah it is, what is happening to you mate?”
She is just Jane.
—
“I had an affair with her, like seven years ago, when were were in Wakanda, back then I just knew by her first name only, I didn’t thought she was the Jane Foster”
“Hold on, what? How?”
“She was doing research. T’Challa invited her personally and was working with Shuri. I didn’t leave the cabins by any means, so I didn’t know what was happening outside the woods that surrounded me. Then she just appeared there, one evening, and we started talking. I was afraid of people back then, so having her around made me nervous, but with time, she was the only one who brought me peace, and then everything...just started”
“And what happened then?”
“She just left, without saying anything”
Since Bucky came back from the blip, he couldn’t stop thinking about Jane, if she survived, if she was okay, oh God, he really hoped she was okay. After everything happened: Steve leaving, his trial, therapy sessions, the recent events, he hadn’t had time to go back to Wakanda and ask Shuri about her. But how, how, when Jane was the one who left.
“That’s why the girl looked so familiar to me”
“Bucky, if you had an affair with her and the girl doesn’t have a father, don’t you think that...”
He just had to add two plus two. Could it be possible?
—
For weeks, he couldn’t stop thinking about the possibility. It had to be. The chemistry he had with Charlotte couldn’t be a coincidence, what if she really was his daughter? A shiver ran through his body, does he really deserve it, to be a father? He also thought about Steve, did he know? If Jane was working with the team to bring them back they must have been close.
He was walking through New York streets when he received a call.
“Bucky Barnes, I’m Jane Foster, we need to talk, about Charlotte”