Chapter Text
The First Christmas
As a graduate of Communication and Media Studies, becoming a news announcer was your ultimate goal. That’s why immediately after graduating, you sent out your resume to various broadcasting companies, determined to fulfill your goal. However, it didn’t take long until you realized that the path towards becoming a news announcer wasn’t as easy as it seemed. You had faith in your abilities, your resume was stellar and you knew that you were more than capable of the job you were applying for—but it dawned upon you that no matter how qualified you were for the positions you were applying for, you wouldn’t be able to get the job because of your family. “We’ll contact you, Ms. Y/L/N.” They would always say but you knew better than to wait so, begrudgingly and with no choice, you began applying for other jobs that weren’t in the “possible careers in Communication and Media Studies” list.
One of these jobs were for a secretarial position at an Architectural and Engineering firm known as Vante and Associates. You knew your parents wouldn’t interfere with this because they would never, in a million years, think that you would go for a job that was basically serving someone else. That would be catastrophic for them. Their head of Human Resources Department was a woman, Lee Taeyeon, and she along with her colleagues Johnny Seo and Im Yoona, interviewed you for the position. You left Vante with a good feeling that day and you were proven right when three days later—Lee Taeyeon had called and told you that you were hired for the position. Needless to say, you were ecstatic. This was your first stable job and you couldn’t be more excited. Sure, it wasn’t the job that you were hoping for after you finished your undergrad, but it was better than nothing and it would help you save enough money to rent an apartment—away from your parents.
During your first day, Taeyeon had toured you around the old phonebook factory where Vante and Associates now stood. She also introduced you to your workmates.
There was Krystal Jung, a landscape architect. Her icy expression made her intimidating at first but she was actually bright and approachable.
Then, there was Im Changkyun, a civil engineer. He was nice but a bit closed off.
Jang Yeeun was also a civil engineer and she was a fresh graduate, among the top ten in the board examinations. She was friendly and reminded you of a hyper puppy.
Then there were the senior associates.
The first one you met was Park Jimin, an architect. He was incredibly charming and a bit flirtatious. You found yourself being flustered when Taeyeon introduced you to him because of the way he looked at you and the way his hand lingered a little too long when you shook hands. He had dyed blonde hair, gelled and pushed back.
Then, there was Jung Hoseok, another architect. The first thing you noticed about him was his bright smile. His teeth were so white that you swore were shining. He emitted an aura that was so warm that immediately, you felt comfortable around him.
And then, you met your boss—Kim Taehyung, a civil engineer.
He was the owner of the firm and as such, he needed a secretary. Taeyeon had informed you beforehand that Taehyung’s previous secretary resigned because she felt uncomfortable around the engineer. She assured you that it wasn’t sexual harassment or assault; Taehyung was a good person, a good boss—he was just, in Taeyeon’s words, a bit weird. He was even nicknamed as the “Office Freak”, you learned early on. If Hoseok emitted comfort, Taehyung was the complete opposite. He made people uncomfortable because of his quiet nature and “looks”.
You weren’t really the type to judge and so, you took everything they said to you about Kim Taehyung in one ear and out in the other. You were going to make your own conclusion about your boss, without any input from anyone.
Taeyeon introduced you to the engineer inside his office. He was seated behind his desk, coat discarded and hanging behind his chair while his black tie was loose. He had opened his collar buttons and rolled up his sleeves up to his elbows. He wore a white linen polo shirt that seemed to be twice his size and his hair was sticking in every direction, eyes dark and sunken—clearly from sleep deprivation. He wore a black thick rimmed eyeglass (lenses equally thick), facial hair covering his upper lip and you could see stubbles on his jaw, as well as the visible acne marks covering his cheeks.
When he saw you, his eyes widened for a bit and his jaw clenched but he stood up to bow respectfully at you—taking you off guard because you didn’t expect your boss to bow respectfully at you, let alone stand up to greet you. After you had introduced yourself, his only reply was, “Nice to meet you too.” before implying that he wanted to talk to Taeyeon alone, so you made your way out of his office.
When Taeyeon stepped out, she led you to where your desk was (which was literally outside Taehyung’s office) and for that entire day, you waited for any order from the engineer—but there was none. And so, your first day was spent sitting on your desk, glancing every once in a while, at the engineer on the other side of the glass beside you.
Your first lunch break was spent with the rest of the Vante employees and Hoseok pulled you aside to tell you a bit more about your new boss.
Hoseok told you that they had known each other since they were kids because they lived in the same neighborhood, were next-door-neighbors and went to the same elementary, high school and college together but they weren’t really friends. That confused you so Hoseok explained that Kim Taehyung was always a loner even when they were little. He didn’t know why, nor did he want to suspect why but he had always been that way. Hoseok was the only person he let in but as Hoseok put it, “Kim Taehyung had endless layers and even though I had known him for twenty-eight years, I only manage to break one of those layers.” He advised you to not take Taehyung’s reclusiveness to heart and to stay by his side until your contract expired because he needed someone to take some of the burdens on his shoulders right now. “I’m not asking you to befriend him, Y/N, just be his secretary.” Hoseok told you before you joined the rest of the Vante employees once again.
And so, for the past eleven months, that’s what you had been doing—being Engr. Kim Taehyung’s secretary. But it proved to be tough because he seemed to be forgetting for the first few months that he even had a secretary. On top of the projects he was working on, he was also the one making his schedule and doing everything that you should be doing. You often had to intervene when that happened and those were probably the only times Kim Taehyung you existed.
Still, even with his eccentric personality, you found yourself liking your boss. He wasn’t terrible and Taeyeon was right—he was a good person. Whenever you would accompany him to the site of the major project he was working on at the moment—a low-cost housing project for the employees of RM Estates—he would always stop by the local bakery on the way or a fast-food restaurant, buy everyone at the site lunch and made you distribute it while he ate some place away from everyone. According to Lilo, one of the construction workers who was working on the housing project and had been a regular at Vante, Taehyung had always bought everyone lunch or dinner but would never eat with them.
Unlike at Vante, the construction workers liked Taehyung because he was a great boss and didn’t treat them any differently despite their rank.
Most of the time, when you were at the site, you would sit under the tent which the workers put up so they could have a shaded area to rest and just watch Kim Taehyung in his element. He didn’t mind getting his hands dirty, you learned, because even though it wasn’t the engineer’s job to mix cement—he would still do it. This happened often that you just began packing extra T-shirt and pants that was once your ex’s which you found in the depths of your closet.
Over time, you grew fond of him. It wasn’t really hard. Contrary to what your coworkers told you, Kim Taehyung didn’t make you uncomfortable. In fact, it felt easy being around him. Sure, he was quiet and didn’t talk much but the awkward silence quickly dissipated after a few months. Four months into being his secretary, the two of you would share small talks whenever you would drive to the sites or whenever you would bring him his midday coffee. You even found yourself looking forward to it.
Today was Christmas Eve and because the government declared it to be a special working holiday, you found yourself spending it at Vante. It didn’t really bother you as much as it bothered everyone else because you didn’t have any plans for tonight or tomorrow, Christmas Day. Besides, Christmas always reminded you of bad memories so now that you were living alone, you planned on never celebrating it anymore.
“That looks colorful.” The familiar voice of the architect, Park Jimin, along with his blonde hair that was now blocking your Excel spreadsheet pulled you away from the monitor and hiding your annoyance, you plastered on a smile when he sat down on the space on your desk, irritating you further. He flashed you that flirtatious smile of his, running his fingers through his hair. “Looks like Taehyung’s booked and busy.”
Nodding your head, you laced your fingers together, straightening your back. “Is there anything I can help you with, Architect Park?”
“Y/N, come on, I told you, you can just call me Jimin.” He chuckled, his smile widening while maintaining eye contact with you.
“That would be highly inappropriate. You are still my superior.” You said, pressing your hands on your desk. “Do you need to talk to Engr. Kim? I can ring him.”
Jimin shook his head. “I actually came here to ask if you want to go to the Christmas Eve party later tonight. The entire team is invited. It’s at The Sunset Room in Gangnam.”
Furrowing your eyebrows, you looked at the spreadsheet before you and saw nothing about a party in Taehyung’s schedule. “Um, has Engr. Kim said he’s not coming? The party is not on his schedule.”
The way Jimin looked visibly uncomfortable at the mention of your boss did not go unnoticed. But he smiled and said, “Taehyung doesn’t really go to office events even when he’s invited so the team doesn’t really bother. He’s always busy, as you can see.” He pointed at your monitor.
What? You glanced at the engineer on the other side of the glass, intently focused on the laptop before him. Didn’t Hoseok invite him? Surely, the architect did? Considering their history? You felt a pang in your chest. You didn’t know if Taehyung celebrated this holiday but the thought of him spending the night alone made your heart ache. Your gaze flickered back to Jimin. “I’m sorry, Architect Park, but I’ve got other plans.”
-
Truth to be told, you were nervous as fuck when the elevator doors opened and you were met by the empty office. The lights from the desks besides yours and inside Taehyung’s office were the only ones switched on that joined the Christmas lights hanging on the walls and around the Christmas in illuminating your path towards the employees’ lounge where you placed the cake you bought from the bakery a few blocks from Vante, the takeout meals you bought at Omelas, a family-owned restaurant beside the bakery and the cheap wine you bought from the drugstore. As you were preparing the meal, the faint sound of jazz music played from Taehyung’s office. It was one of the few things you learned about your boss. He loved listening to jazz music especially when he was stressed because it calmed him down. You were never really a fan of the genre but after listening to it during the times you drove with him to the sites, like with your boss, you grew fond of it.
You grabbed the ceramic plates, two cups and utensils from the upper cabinets, washing them and then drying before placing them on the table behind you. Turning on your heels, you gasped in surprise, pushing yourself against the counter behind you, eyes wide and heart beating rapidly against your chest, when you saw Taehyung standing a few feet from you, holding his empty mug. Clearly, from the expression on his face, he was just as surprised as you were.
“Y/N, what are you doing here?” He asked then his eyes glanced at the food on the table and his eyebrows furrowed. “What’s all these?”
The butterflies in your stomach erupted in chaos, making you want to vomit. Swallowing the thick lump in your throat, you smiled at him and made your way towards the table; the sound of your heels clicking against the wooden floor. “Um, it’s Christmas Eve so I thought I would prepare you a meal.” You held the chair before you tightly, anxiously waiting for Taehyung’s reply.
The expression on his face was unreadable. He looked at you then at the food on the table and this happened for a couple of agonizing minutes before he pressed his lips into a thin line and said, “You didn’t have to do this, Y/N.”
“I wanted to, Engr. Kim. I don’t mind.” You immediately replied. “Here, please take a seat. I’ll just fix you a plate. I hope you don’t mind drugstore wine.” Hurriedly, you pulled out a chair for him to sit on then you quickly grabbed the plastic bags containing the meals you ordered, bringing them to the countertop behind you along with a plate and utensils.
“I don’t mind.” Taehyung replied softly and moments later, you heard a faint pop and you looked over your shoulder to see him pouring the wine in the cups which made you smile.
After a while, you finished preparing yours and his plate and you turned on your heels, making your way towards the table and placing his plate in front of him. Sitting across from you, Taehyung glanced at you. “Have you eaten at Omelas? Ms. Lee, the owner, really knows how to cook.” You said, gathering your hair behind your head to tie it into a low messy bun.
He shook his head, picking up the chopsticks you laid beside his plate. “I haven’t,” He said quietly. “Thank you for the meal, Y/N.”
You smiled, grabbing your chopsticks as well. “Eat a lot, okay? We’ll eat the cake when midnight strikes.”
Neither of you spoke much during the dinner. You could tell that Taehyung wasn’t used to sharing with someone through his posture. It was tense and he avoided eye contact with you at all costs. You tried engaging him in conversations, but it was as if you were back to square one with him—where he only gave you short answers. By the time both of you finished eating, you were already scolding yourself for what you had done. It was clear that you made Taehyung uncomfortable and being the good person he was, he just didn’t say it.
“It’s okay, Engr. Kim, I got this. You should head back to work.” You said, grabbing the plate from his hands.
“It’s alright, Y/N. Work can wait.” Taehyung replied—and for the first time, he smiled at you, and it wasn’t one of those tight-lipped ones. It was a genuine smile that made your heart flutter.
You were stunned. You had always found him attractive despite what everyone else thought but when he smiled, it was like he became ten times more attractive. With your cheeks covered in blush, you nodded and the two of you began washing the dishes. For a while, the sound of utensils clicking against one another settled in the silence between the two of you. Until, Taehyung said, “Why didn’t you attend the office party?”
“They’re really not my thing,” You answered and it wasn’t a lie—parties were always tiresome for you especially since you grew up attending parties left and right—but it wasn’t the whole truth either. Biting your lower lip, you continued, “And I wanted to spend this night with you.”
“That’s not really in your job description.” Taehyung let out a low chuckle as he handed you a cup and you washed it with the sponge soaked in dishwashing liquid.
“I know,” You replied, smiling. “But I just wanted to.”
“Why?” He asked almost immediately.
Tilting your head to face him, you replied, “I didn’t want you to be alone, Engr. Kim.”
Once more, the silence settled and before you knew it, the dishes were washed and it was already ten thirty in the evening. “You should head back now, Engr. Kim. I’ll go fix up right here.”
“Taehyung,” He said out of the blue which made you look at him in confusion. He smiled once more. “You can call me Taehyung.”
It felt like you were a kid again and were handed your Christmas present. You smiled back. “Okay, Taehyung.”
-
Sixty seconds until it was Christmas and you and Taehyung were in his office, already halfway finished with the cake and the cheap wine. In the last hour or so, you saw him smile and even laugh more than you ever did in the eleven months you worked with him. It was an endearing sight to see and you wished you had your Polaroid camera to capture it. Taehyung became less tense and actually answered your questions with a sentence rather than the curt replies from before.
You asked him why he wanted to become an engineer.
“My grandfather was an engineer and he owned Vante before I inherited it. He’s my favorite person in the world so I followed his footsteps.”
Then you asked him why his grandfather named it Vante.
“He changed it after seeing me drawing Van Gogh’s Starry Night as a little boy. He began calling me Vante.”
You asked him if he enjoyed his job.
“I do even though there are days where it’s not so enjoyable.”
“I know you want to ask me why I’m alone on Christmas Eve when I have nothing to do.” Taehyung said, thirty seconds before midnight.
“You don’t have to tell me if you’re not comfortable.” You told him.
Twenty-five seconds.
“I really don’t have any reason to celebrate it.” He said, placing the fork with cake inside his mouth.
Twenty seconds.
You nodded. “I understand. I used to celebrate with… family before but ever since I moved out, I don’t really celebrate any of the holidays.”
Fifteen seconds.
“You’re not close with your family?” Taehyung asked, pushing his eyeglasses upwards.
Ten seconds.
“Not really.”
Nine seconds.
“So, if you weren’t here with me, you’ll be spending Christmas Eve alone?”
Eight seconds.
You nodded. “Yes.”
Seven seconds.
Six seconds.
Five seconds.
“I guess, we’re alone together.” Taehyung chuckled, staring softly at you.
Four seconds.
Three seconds.
You smiled. “Yes, I guess we are.”
Two second.
One second.
His digital alarm sounded when 11:59 turned 12:00. “Merry Christmas, Taehyung.”
“Merry Christmas, Y/N.”
The First New Year
It was bittersweet. The year coming to an end because it meant that next year, your contract expired and there would be a chance that it wouldn’t be renewed which was a real shame because you wanted to stay, at least for a few more years, before you ultimately begin pursuing your passion once more. It was a questionable reason to but you also wished to stay because of Kim Taehyung. You wanted to get to know him more, especially after you spent the early hours of Christmas with him. It was clear that it changed the dynamic between the two of you. He would return your smile when you greeted him upon arriving at the office and the two of you would engage in a conversation while he drove you both to the site or when you would drop by his office for his midday coffee. They weren’t just small talks anymore. He would ask how you were and in turn, you would also ask him. Over the past days, it seemed like Kim Taehyung was peeling off one of his many layers and you weren’t the only one who was noticing it.
“I heard you and Taehyung spent Christmas here.” That was Hoseok startling you as you prepared Taehyung’s coffee. He chuckled. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“How did you even know that?” You asked the architect.
“The security guard told the janitor and the janitor told Taeyeon who then told the entire team.” He explained, smiling. “That was really great of you, Y/N. It’s nice to know he didn’t spend the holiday alone this year.”
“I didn’t do it out of pity,” You replied, frowning as you detected something in Hoseok’s tone. “I wanted to do it.”
“I’m not saying that you did. I’m just saying that it’s very kind of you to go out of your way for someone that you don’t really know, you know? Please don’t misunderstand.”
“Did you invite him? To the Christmas Eve party?” You asked, tilting your head to face him as you arched an eyebrow.
“Even if I did, he’s not going to come anyways.” Hoseok said, furrowing his eyebrows.
“So? You should’ve invited him still. It’s courtesy.” You said. “Have you invited him to the New Year’s Eve party?”
Hoseok shook his head. “No. Not yet.”
You couldn’t help but to scoff. “Excuse me, Architect Jung, I need to go back to work.”
Normally, you weren’t one to be mad but you couldn’t help but to boil in anger at the moment. You couldn’t believe the people you worked with. Why were they acting like they were still in high school? Making someone be the outcast? Weren’t they supposed to be adults?
You didn’t realize you didn’t knock and just pushed the glass door open with your shoulder, causing Taehyung to look at you weirdly. With a frown on your face, you placed the coffee beside his laptop and stood before his desk, sighing. “Is everything okay, Y/N?”
“They’re throwing a New Year’s Eve party. Do you want to come?” You asked, your frown deepening.
“Oh, I wasn’t aware but I think I’ll pass, Y/N.” He said, smiling before bringing the cup to his lips.
“Why aren’t you doing anything?” You found yourself asking. “Technically, you’re the boss, Taehyung. You own this place but you… you let them walk all over you.”
Taehyung took his glasses off. “Did something happen, Y/N? You’re clearly upset.”
“I am!” You exclaimed, catching him off guard. “They’re supposed to be adults but they’re acting like children and it’s making me angry.”
“It’s just the way it is, Y/N. I’m used to it.” He replied, inhaling deeply.
“That’s even worse,” You breathed out, shaking your head in disbelief. “Well, if you’re not going then I’m not going either.”
He almost spat out his coffee. “What? Y/N, don’t—,”
“We can celebrate New Year’s together, like what we did during Christmas.” You said, cutting him off. Taehyung stared at you as if you had morphed into Cerberus. You smiled at him, teeth showing. “There’s a firework display show at Yeouido Park, it could be fun.”
Taehyung rubbed his eyes with his thumb and index finger. “You should go with the rest to the office party, Y/N.”
“I don’t want to.”
“What do you think am I going to say? Yes? Yes, I want to come with you to Yeouido and watch the fireworks with you? I think you’re forgetting that you’re an employee here, Y/N, and just because we spent one holiday together doesn’t mean that we’re friends.” Taehyung suddenly snapped, and now it was your turn to be caught off guard.
Before he could apologize, you bowed at him and said, “I’m sorry, Engr. Kim. I’ll leave you be.” Then, you hurriedly made your way out of his office, heart pounding against your chest loudly.
He wasn’t wrong. He was your boss and he was your secretary. You weren’t friends.
But still, it hurt.
-
Without anywhere to go, you were back in your apartment, settled comfortable in your couch while a thick blanket was wrapped around your body, hot choco in hand and The Nightmare Before Christmas playing on your television. If you were still living with your parents, you’d most likely be in either a five-star hotel with them, attending one of their many colleagues’ New Year’s Eve parties or you’d be at the estate where the party was being held or you’d be abroad, attending yet another party. You hated this time of the year the most because of the endless appearances you had to make with your parents, presenting yourselves to be the perfect family when you were the furthest thing from it. Your parents hated each other, and they didn’t bother hiding it from you the day you were born. Both of them had affairs, that was plural, going on and they were aware of it. The only reason they didn’t get divorced was because if they did—they would lose all their inheritance from their respective families. At the same time, you couldn’t really blame them for hating each other because their marriage was arranged. From what you knew, they barely knew each other and then one day, they were husband and wife. One day, they had you—the person who sealed the deal of their matrimony, forever linking the two of them.
For the most part, your parents didn’t really care for you when the doors were finally closed. They were too busy chasing their youth to pay attention to you. The maids raised you. You didn’t mind because it meant freedom and that’s why, even though you were born chaebol, it never felt like it. You got to do what you wanted without your parents interfering and it was fun, at the beginning. The more you grew up, the more you resented it. The more you wished you had parents who gave a shit even when the doors were closed. It was funny, really, how we always wished for something someone didn’t want.
Like how you wished you were with Kim Taehyung at Yeouido, watching the fireworks and not on your couch, drinking hot choco.
And speaking of the devil, your phone buzzed and with a sigh, you grabbed it from the coffee table, expecting another spam mail (because that was the only notification you had these days) but to your surprise, you saw Kim Taehyung’s contact along with a message from him.
From: The Boss
I want to apologize to you in person. Can we still watch the fireworks at Yeouido?
Biting your lower lip, you typed in your response.
To: The Boss
Don’t forget to wear your scarf and gloves. See you there in ten minutes.
Shutting the television off, you quickly placed your mug in the sink, making a mental note to wash it once you get home before dashing to your room to change out of your pajamas and into something more decent. You settled for a black turtleneck, black jeans and your brown coat along with your black scarf and boots. With your keys, phone and wallet in your pockets, you left your apartment and quickly made your way downstairs. Your apartment complex was rather small; only having three floors but the landlord was kind and polite and the ambiance was very cozy as it overlooked the Han River.
It seemed like time flew by because soon, you found yourself in Yeouido. Pulling your phone out, you began to text Taehyung, asking where he was when you felt a tap on your shoulder. Turning around, you saw the engineer standing before you. He was dressed in a white shirt with a plaid shirt over it, a pair of dark denim jeans, white sneakers, a blue scarf around his neck and a black coat over his clothing. His eyeglasses were on and his hair was fluffier than usual, making you want to reach out and touch it.
“Hi.” He greeted, smoke coming out of his mouth from the cold.
“Hey.” You greeted back, burying your fists deeper into your pockets.
“I’m sorry for what I said earlier,” Taehyung said, lowering his scarf so you were seeing his entire face. “It was stupid and uncalled for. You were just being nice and I took it the wrong way.”
“Why did you take it the wrong way?” You asked, licking your lower lip.
Taehyung exhaled deeply, ruffling his hair. “Because I’m not used to kindness.” Taehyung removed his glasses, wiping the lenses with the hem of his shirt. “As you observed, I’m not really friends with anyone in the office and when I told you that I’m used to it—I really am. But then you came and you’re like the kindest person, specifically to me, and I don’t know how to handle it.” He huffed out. “It’s a me problem, I know.”
“You should get used to it.” You told him, the corner of your lips tugging into a grin. “You’ll be dealing with my kindness for a while.”
-
Placing your ramen and drinks on the table, you and Taehyung sat down across from each other outside the convenience store. You handed Taehyung his chopsticks and he smiled at you as thanks. “I don’t know why ramen tastes better when you eaten at a convenience store.” You remarked, mixing your ramen.
Taehyung nodded in agreement. “Same here. Enjoy your meal, Y/N.”
Smiling at him, you replied, “You too, Taehyung.”
Untangling the scarf around your neck, you blew on your noodles before eating it. Glancing at your boss across from you, you noticed that he was more relaxed than when you shared a meal for the first time. His shoulders were lumped, eyeglasses off because the steam caused the lenses to moist, and his scarf was untangled too, hanging around his neck. Noticing that you were staring at him, Taehyung lifted his head and looked at you. “What?” He asked as he slurped the noodle in between his lips.
Cute. You shook your head. “Nothing.”
“What is it? Do I have something on my face?” He asked, licking his lower lip.
“None,” You replied, chuckling. “You just—You know how elders always say that they’re just full by watching their kid or someone eat? Well, that’s how I feel with you right now. I feel full just by looking at you eat.”
“Oh.” Taehyung responded, blinking his eyes rapidly, clearly clueless of what to say. You smiled and continued eating. Then, Taehyung asked you a question, “You know, I was really shocked when Taeyeon introduced you as my new secretary.”
“Really? Why?” You asked, opening your can of Cola.
“You probably don’t remember but we met before. I think you were still in college then. Our firm was hired by your father’s corporation to build their new factory in Daegu. I was the head engineer and you were visiting that day with a guy, your boyfriend, I think.” Taehyung told you, slurping another chopstick of noodle.
Your eyebrows furrowed, tilting your head to the side slightly, trying to remember that time but your mind was blank. “I—I can’t seem to remember.”
“It’s fine, it wasn’t anything important to remember anyway. You seemed to be upset that day too.”
A heavy feeling settled in your chest. He was ignored by me too and yet there I was, acting like I was above the others at Vante. “I’m sorry, Taehyung.”
“You don’t need to apologize for not remembering, Y/N. I mean, I don’t remember people I meet once. It’s not a big deal.” Taehyung assured you. Taking a deep breath, you forced a smile on your face and your appetite was lost. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you upset.”
“No, no,” You quickly said, shaking your head. “You didn’t. It’s just—I was acting like I was this moral police when, in reality, I did the same thing to you once.”
“It really doesn’t bother me, Y/N.” Taehyung said. “Anyways, speaking of your boyfriend, wouldn’t he be mad that you’re spending time with your boss on New Year’s Eve instead of him?”
“He’s not my boyfriend anymore.” You told him.
“Why? What happened?” He asked.
“He cheated on me.” You said as your shrugged your shoulders. You stared at Taehyung, chuckling at his reaction. “Yes, he cheated on me with someone that he said I shouldn’t worry about. It doesn’t affect me as much as it used to before but there are times where it pops in my head and I would feel sad.”
You never really told anyone that before. Jeon Jungkook, your ex-boyfriend with whom you were with for six years, was someone that you didn’t like talking about or even thinking about. You just simply wanted to forget his existence but it was hard since his face was everywhere, being one of the country’s top football (soccer) player.
“I don’t know much about relationships but if someone cheats on their partner, it’s on them for losing someone who’s rare.” Taehyung told you after a while.
“Rare?” You questioned.
He nodded. “I don’t think there’s a lot of people out there that are faithful and loyal to their partner—or partners, if they’re polygamous—so when he cheated on you, it was his loss, Y/N.”
“I don’t know about that.” You snorted, bringing your cup to your lips to drink the soup. “Didn’t you recognize my ex when you saw us back then?” He shook his head. “I’m guessing you’re also not into sports?” Taehyung nodded and you chuckled. “Well, his name is Jeon Jungkook. He’s a football player and is a member of the national team. The girl he cheated on me with—her name is Oh Dami, the Oh Dami who is the youngest editor-in-chief of a little magazine called Vogue.”
“I don’t know her too.”
And that made you laugh, quite loud, earning strange looks from the strangers around you. You threw your head back, holding onto your stomach. Across from you, you could hear Taehyung laughing along but quieter than you. Wiping the tears in the corner of your eye, you sighed deeply. “You’re funny, Engr. Kim.” You told him, staring into his eyes. “What about you? What’s your failed relationship story?”
“I’ve never been in a relationship.” He admitted, finishing his ramen.
“Are you serious?” You asked, surprised.
Taehyung nodded. “I mean, look at me.” He chuckled, wiping his mouth with the tissue.
“I am.” You said.
And you were looking at him. His cheeks and the tip of his high nose were rosy from the cold; lips plump and soft, and you had the urge to caress it with your thumb. Something about the way Taehyung looked at the moment made your heart race—something that even with Jungkook you never felt. It was the kind of heartbeat that made you nervous but at the same time, you wanted to feel it more.
Taehyung cleared his throat, drinking the rest of his soda. “We should—We should head to the park. It’s almost midnight.”
You nodded and on the way to the park, after the both of you cleaned the table you ate at, it dawned on you that you might have a crush on your boss. It wasn’t difficult, you thought, because Kim Taehyung was endearing in his own way. But it was just a crush, you told yourself. You knew there were many secretaries out there that had a crush on their boss—you didn’t need to think too much about it because it would probably go away on their own anyway. You weren’t sure if your contract was going to be renewed by next week and if it wasn’t, this crush you were forming for your boss would most likely disappear since you wouldn’t see him every day.
Yes. It’s just a crush, you told yourself. Don’t make it weird and just enjoy the night, Y/N.
The both of you stood among the crowd of people and instinctively, you guessed, Taehyung wrapped an arm around your shoulders when people began squeezing in. You looked up at him and he stared down at you. “Is it okay or do you want me to remove it?” He asked.
“It’s okay.” You told him, and you were thankful for the cold that made your cheeks red so he wasn’t able to detect the blush that colored it.
“Do you think they’ll have this again next year?” Taehyung asked beside you.
“Why? Do you want to watch it again?” You asked, eyes filled with anticipation.
“Do you?” He questioned you.
You nodded. “I do. Let’s watch it every year.” You looked up at him once more. “What if we spend the holidays together every year? Would you mind?”
Taehyung smiled, shaking his head. “I wouldn’t mind at all.”
And the countdown began.
Ten, night, eight, seven, six, five—
“Me too.” You told Taehyung.
Four, three, two, one.
The night sky was painted with various fireworks and the crowd erupted into cheers, including you. With a huge grin on your face, you stood on your toes and wrapped your arms around Taehyung’s neck, catching him off guard but he hugged you back moments later. “Happy New Year, Taehyung.”
“Happy New Year, Y/N.”
The Second Christmas: Your Place
True to your promise, Taehyung was coming over to your place to celebrate Christmas.
Over the past year, the line between him as your boss and you as his secretary blurred to the point of erasure. It was all that the Vante employees could talk about because it was evident even to them that your relationship completely changed. Of course, during work, the both of you stayed professional but when it was break time or when the two of you were going to the site of his projects, the formalities were dropped and the two of you became just friends.
Taehyung began to peel off his layers one by one as well.
One lunch in particular, he opened up about his childhood. The two of you were eating on-site, seated with the rest of the construction workers that he had treated. You learned that his parents were divorced and neither of them wanted to take him in so he grew up with his grandparents, his most favorite persons in the world and the only friends (besides you) that he had. He grew up introverted, always having a hard time making friends and talking to new people and that resulted to him mostly keeping to himself. He did fine with group works because it was purely academic for him; he also did well in his thesis defense during his last year in uni and that’s why he also did well when it came to work—they were something that was unrelated to personal life and he knew there was a deadline. Once it was finished, he didn’t need to see them again.
Making friends and meeting new people didn’t have a deadline.
Hoseok was the only person who was always there; the person who greeted him in the hallways, the person who saw him but they weren’t close. Just familiar.
When his grandparents passed away on his first year of college, just a few hours apart, he just closed off. It was his way of grieving, he supposed. He was already lonely before but after his passing, he isolated himself from everyone and was lonelier than ever before. He buried himself into uni and immediately took up ownership of Vante once he passed the board examinations, finishing on top. There, he buried himself in work and became a recluse. You also learned that he knew about his nickname, the Office Freak, but he just blissfully ignored it, said that they were entitled to their own opinions but you countered, saying it wasn’t an opinion but an insult. Taehyung just smiled.
“Just one more person to meet then we can get out of here.” Taehyung said when he stood beside you in front of the table where the finger foods were placed.
Looking at him, you smiled. There were several changes with the engineer over the past year. The most evident was the way he dressed himself. It all started when the CEO of RM Estates, Kim Namjoon, spontaneously treated him to a complete wardrobe change after their meeting was done. You were there, watching as Taehyung was being measured by Namjoon’s tailor and as Namjoon swiped his black card like it was nothing when he bought Taehyung new watches, ties, shoes and facial products. He became somewhat of a mentor to Taehyung and you were seeing that more layers were being shredded off.
Tonight, he wore one of those many suits. It was gray and he wore a white polo underneath the jacket with the collar and top buttons undone, showing off his clavicles and a good amount of his chest. It was perfectly fitted, accentuating his figure. His hair was straightened and raven. He began to wear contact lenses too but he was uncomfortable with them so he still used his glasses most of the time, save for occasions such as this one. He was very attractive and you knew, from observing on the sidelines, that he was gathering many looks from both men and women.
You, on the other hand, were wearing a champagne-colored silk dress courtesy of a new engineer in Vante, Kim Seokjin, whom you and Taehyung became good friends with. He had come with you when you bought the dress, saying Taehyung would certainly not be able to keep his eyes off of you when you wear it. He was the only person who knew of your crush—well, it was a lot more than that now.
The feelings you had with Taehyung grew stronger over the past year that it was starting to scare you. There were no words to describe but intense. But Taehyung was completely oblivious to it—as pointed out by Seokjin numerous times.
“Are you tired?” You asked, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear.
“Kind of, to be honest.” Taehyung admitted, sliding one hand into his pocket as a smile formed on his lips. “Are you?”
You shrugged your shoulders. “The food is great so that’s been keeping me busy while you socialize.”
Taehyung chuckled. “One more, I promise and then—,”
“Y/N?” Both you and Taehyung turned around and much to your surprise, you saw Jeon Jungkook before you, dressed up in a dark gray attire. His piercings shone against the light, and you noticed that he also had a lip piercing now. His hair dyed into mint blue and was parted on the side, gelled back, exposing his forehead. Upon meeting your eyes, he smiled. “Hey, I didn’t know that you’d be here.”
“What are you doing here?” You asked, scratching your arm.
“Namjoon hyung invited me here.” Jungkook replied then his raven eyes flickered at Taehyung who was standing beside you. You saw the familiar fire in his eyes. “Who’s this?”
“He’s my boss, Jungkook.” You said, glancing at Taehyung.
To your surprise, Taehyung extended his hand out towards Jungkook. “Hello. I’m Kim Taehyung, Y/N’s boss. It’s nice to meet you, Jungkook.”
Raising his eyebrow slightly, Jungkook shook his hand. “You’re her boss? Why?”
“What do you mean ‘why’, Jungkook?” You asked, furrowing your eyebrows.
He returned his focus on you. “You know why, Y/N. What type of job do you even have with him?”
“Why do you care is the only question that should be hanging in the air right now, Jungkook. Get lost.” You snapped, clenching your fists and breathing heavily, eyes narrowed in a glare. “Just go about your night and don’t ruin mine.”
Jungkook was about to open his mouth when Taehyung beat him to it. “Excuse us, Jungkook.” He said, gently grabbing your arm and you looked up at him. Taehyung smiled at you, gesturing with his head to come with him and you were not about to pass on that offer. If you didn’t leave now, you would’ve exploded at Jungkook.
Taehyung led you out of the function hall, grabbing your shawl and purse from the table behind you and placing his large hand on your lower back—which was something that he had been doing for the past year and had always brought you comfort. You found yourself in the lobby and you halted on your tracks, facing Taehyung. “What are we doing out here?”
“Going back to your place.” He simply stated.
“But you still need to meet one more person, right?” You asked.
“I already met him; Jeon Jungkook.” Taehyung removed his hand from your back and the warmth that left did not go unnoticed.
“What?”
“Mr. Kim said one of his friends, Jeon Jungkook, was looking for someone to build his vacation home in Jeju and he was going to introduce me to him so we can meet and Jungkook can hire me and the firm to work on it. Now that we’ve met and judging by the way he was sending daggers at me—I don’t think he would want anything to do with me.” Taehyung explained. “And you’re clearly not comfortable with him in the vicinity so I thought we can go back to your place, put up the decorations we bought and begin our tradition. But only if you want to.”
Your heart fluttered. Nodding, you smiled at him. “Yeah, that would be nice.”
-
Changed out of your formal attires, you and Taehyung were finishing decorating the small Christmas tree you bought from the supermarket while jazz was playing in the background and the brownies that you made baked in the oven. Taehyung looked so domestic in his blue striped pajamas and the bright red Santa hat on his head. If last year, someone told you that you would be baking and decorating your apartment in Christmas ornaments with your boss—you would simply look at them as though they were spouting nonsense but here you were.
“When Jungkook said you know why, what did he mean by that?” Taehyung asked, looking at you while he hung one of the red Christmas balls.
“Damn, I was hoping you wouldn’t ask something that will make me reminisce the past.” You joked, chuckling.
“You don’t have to answer…” He trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck.
“I’m kidding,” You told Taehyung, smiling at him. “You know my family, right?” Taehyung nodded. “I was supposed to take over the company since I was the next in line after my cousin, Min Yoongi, didn’t want to take over and resulted into him getting taken off the family registry. At first, I was okay with it. But I was only sixteen then. Then, college began. I wanted to pursue a career as a news announcer, so I enrolled in my undergrad, Communication and Media Studies. My family and Jungkook, thinking it was just a phase, let me take it but the moment I graduated—they wanted me to run the company. But I didn’t, so I applied to become a news announcer in various broadcasting companies, but they banned me basically and that’s how I ended up at Vante because I know they wouldn’t think I’d apply for a secretarial job, you know? They raised me to the boss, not the employee.”
“Does it mean that you’re also off the family registry?” He asked, eyebrows furrowed.
You nodded. “Yes. As far as I know, it’s a second cousin who runs the business now and she’s doing a good job at it, actually making changes.”
“It sucks that you’re banned from pursuing your passion. I’m sorry, Y/N.” Taehyung exhaled deeply, facing you.
“I try not to think too much about it,” You waved him off. “Besides, it’s not like I’m miserable at my job now.” He smiled at you and you returned it. “Who would’ve thought my boss would be decorating my apartment and baking brownies with me?”
“Certainly not me.” He said as the oven dinged, signaling that the brownies were already finished baking. “I’ll grab that. Why don’t you set up the movie?”
You nodded as Taehyung walked towards your kitchen and you set up the movie that both of you decided to watch tonight, Kimi No Na Wa. It wasn’t a Christmas movie, but Taehyung hadn’t watched it and you were most definitely eager for him to do so.
Moments later, Taehyung joined you on the couch, brownies and the other foods you had bought on the way on the tray which he set on the table before the both of you. You pressed the play button on the remote in your hand, already cocooned in your blanket. “Do you want the chicken?” Taehyung asked, looking at you with a fond smile on his face. “It looks like you’re about to fall asleep.”
“I won’t,” You said in a promise. “And yes, I want the chicken, please.”
“Okay.” He chuckled.
When the movie ended and the food was eaten, Taehyung turned to you. “That was a great film, Y/N.”
You grinned. “I know, right? What’s your favorite part?”
“The ending. It was a cliffhanger but I like to think that they got together and was able to spend that lifetime together.” Taehyung replied, gathering the dishes.
“No, Taehyung, I’ll do it.” You said, already sitting upright but he shook his head.
“You look exhausted, Y/N. I’ll go clean up here. You should head to bed.” He said, bringing the dishes to the kitchen.
“You’re the guest in my apartment, Taehyung. You shouldn’t be doing the dishes.” You protested, getting out of your cocoon and following him towards the kitchen.
“Seriously, Y/N, it’s fine.” He said as he rolled up his sleeves, looking over his shoulder to smile at you.
You leaned against the wall beside you, crossing your arms over your chest. The scene before you were so domestic that it made your heart throb in the most beautiful way. Taehyung’s back was broad, making you want to glaze your fingers on it. In that moment, what you felt for him became stronger and you had every urge to tell him that you liked him—more than a boss, more than a friend. The words were already forming in your head and threatening to roll out of your tongue but like most who found themselves falling for their friend, fear overtook them and they remained quiet. You remained silent.
The Second New Year: His Place
When you arrived at the address that Taehyung had sent you, you were expecting a big modern-looking house that you saw on the covers of architectural magazines back at Vante but instead—you were met by a dark green house with a black roof, white thresholds and an oak door. Snow covered the trees surrounding the house and along with the grass on either side of the cobblestone path leading to the front porch. Walking down the pathway, you had in your hands a box of blueberry cheesecake and red wine that you had bought from a decent liquor store. You didn’t know what to expect tonight. When Taehyung told you that he wanted to do something with you on New Year’s Eve, needless to say, you were nervous but also, you were anticipating it.
Knocking on his door, you stood there for a few moments before it was opened and before you stood Kim Taehyung, that heart-fluttering box smile on his face, dressed in a pair of black gym shorts, black T-shirt and flip flops. His wavy hair was pushed back into a red bandana which made you swallow the lump in your throat because fuck, he looked so handsome. “Y/N, hi, come in.” He said as he stepped aside to let you in.
Smiling at him, you entered his house and again, it wasn’t anything like you expected Kim Taehyung’s home would be. It was cozy orange lighting, several framed pictures on the fireplace and on the cream-colored walls. There was a small staircase leading upstairs beside the doorway and Taehyung had grabbed your coat and scarf, tucking them inside the cupboard under the stairs while you placed your shoes neatly on the side of the door. “The kitchen’s right over there.” He said as he led the way and you placed the items in your hands on the rectangular oak table in the middle of the kitchen. “Do you want to look around first?” Taehyung asked.
“Is it okay?” He nodded.
So, you grinned and made your way out of the kitchen and into the living room where you went over to the bricked fireplace and looked at the picture frames decorating its top. There were several pictures of Taehyung as a little boy, mostly with his, you assumed, grandparents. He smiled widely, tooth missing in most of the photos. He had one in Lotte World, he had one with his grandmother while she was holding a large fish and when you grabbed the frame whose photograph was encased in that caught your eyes the most, Taehyung stepped up beside you and said, “That’s the last photo I had with them. After this was taken, my grandma passed away then three hours later, grandpa joined her.”
It was a picture of Taehyung sitting in the middle of two beds where his grandparents were lying on. He was smiling but you could tell that it didn’t reach his eyes. He wore this yellow hospital gown, mask pulled down and resting on his chin and a hair cap. His grandparents were both hooked to machines, eyes closed and oxygen masks on. You inhaled deeply, placing the frame back to its place on top of the fireplace, before turning to face Taehyung. “I don’t know if saying I’m sorry for your loss does anything because I haven’t experienced losing someone, let alone two people that I loved but, for what it’s worth, I’m sorry for your loss, Taehyung.” Without thinking too much, you slipped your hand in his and gave it a squeeze.
Taehyung squeezed your hand back. “I’ve read once that sharing the memories of those we lost keep us from losing them and the reason why I told you that I wanted to do something with you tonight is because I don’t want to lose them, Y/N.” He tilted his head to face you, his eyes glistening with tears.
You shook your head. “You won’t, Taehyung, because I’m here now and I’ll keep them alive in my heart and in my mind too.”
“Thank you,” He breathed out, smiling softly. “I know I’m asking for a lot right now. Both as a friend and as a boss—,”
You shook your head. “No. It’s not a lot.” You didn’t want to let go of his hand and Taehyung didn’t seem to want to let go either. “What do you want to do tonight?”
Taehyung took a deep breath before saying, “I used to do with my grandparents every New Year’s Eve. I thought, since we began this tradition of ours, maybe we could also incorporate this? You know, fusion of the new and old tradition?”
You grinned at him. “That’s a great idea.”
Taehyung looked relieved. “Okay. So, um, we used to this thing where my grandparents would have these balloons filled with various paint and we would throw them against a big blank canvas then my grandma, she was a painter, would add it to her exhibits.”
You nodded. “That sounds really fun. Do you wanna start now?”
“Sure. Follow me, it’s this way.”
Without letting go of your hand, Taehyung led you upstairs, to the attic where you saw a white blank canvas against the wall with a plastic underneath it to protect the floor from the paint that was surely going to drip from the canvas. It was well-lit, with shelves containing various art materials and a small sofa set tucked on one corner. “Here,” Taehyung said, handing you an overall which had LMW stitched on the pocket on the left side. “It’s my grandma’s. I hope it’s not weird. If it is, you can—,”
“It’s not,” You told him. “Thank you for letting me wear it. What was her name?”
“Lee Manwol.” Taehyung replied and you nodded.
You began putting on your overall while Taehyung brought over two buckets of paint-filled balloons, placing them beside yours and his feet. You gathered your hair behind your head and placed it in a messy bun before placing your hands on your hips, facing him. “Okay, so we just throw them, right? I have no artistic bone whatsoever so don’t laugh.”
Taehyung chuckled, “Don’t worry about it. You just need to throw and the art will create itself, that’s what my grandma used to say.” He bent down to pick up a balloon and after taking a deep breath, he threw it against the canvas and green paint splashed on the white space. You watched as a smile formed on Taehyung’s lips. “This is the first time I’m doing this again after they passed.”
“Well, let’s make them proud.” You said as you bent down and grabbed a balloon, aiming at the canvas then throwing the balloon, pink paint covering the space.
-
“What are you staring at?” Taehyung asked as he wiped his hands on the hem of his shirt, done washing the dishes. He stood beside you.
“Why are they all black and white?” You asked, tilting your head to face him. You were staring at the photographs hanging on the wall. They were places that you were unfamiliar with but some that you were familiar with such as the Eiffel Tower and the Great Wall of China.
Taehyung slipped his hands inside the pockets of his gym shorts. “It may be cliché but when I took those photos, I didn’t feel alive. They were after my grandparents died and I was working on projects in those places. The clients I was working for took me out to see the cities but I couldn’t appreciate them so I had them developed in black and white, telling myself that when I go back to these places—I’ll take them in color.”
You nodded at him before placing your gaze back on the photograph that caught your eyes the most. It was an image of a figure with three palm trees before them, back facing the camera, looking up into a sky full of stars. “Is that you?” You asked him.
“Yeah,” He chuckled. “That one is different. I took it when I was in Hawaii and I woke up and saw the sky filled with stars and it was the first time I felt somewhat alive so I grabbed my phone, set it up and took that photo.”
“Why is it black and white then if you felt somewhat alive?” You questioned, furrowing your eyebrows slightly.
“Because I promised myself that when I come back to this place, I won’t be alone.”