Work Text:
Zhang Qiling had always known it was inevitable that Wu Xie would desert him. He knew that one day, Wu Xie would leave him behind, go to a place he could never follow. For Wu Xie was too pure, too innocent, too human for his world.
He’d always expected Wu Xie to go somewhere he couldn’t reach. He’d never expected it to be like this.
In hindsight, it had been too quick. Too early. Wu Xie had left them too young.
Not Zhang Qiling, for Zhang Qiling sometimes felt like he was older than time. It was Wu Xie who was too young. Who had always been too young. Too bright. Too alive.
Too nice. Too good to Zhang Qiling.
He shouldn’t have allowed it to start. Shouldn’t have allowed the boy to become close to him. Should have stopped him from entering his life and carving his own space into it – from reserving a place into Zhang Qiling’s heart. From making Zhang Qiling remember he had a heart at all.
All of it was too late now. They hadn’t been granted enough time together, and while Zhang Qiling did not have the time to die, Wu Xie had stolen it and died on his own.
Because that’s how it felt, anyway. Wu Xie’d disappeared into an ugly pillar of white light, ascending to a place he couldn’t reach and evolving into a being that hated Zhang Qiling. A part of himself thought it to be a good thing, now finally Wu Xie would stay away from him, but that part was small and insignificant. Because that part didn’t remember what it was to have a beating heart, and Zhang Qiling’s heart beat for Wu Xie now.
Wu Xie…
Wu Xie, a mere mortal, stopping the king of hell from taking what was rightfully his. The most feared, most powerful Calamity of all 4, being yelled at by a 12 year old kid.
(They’d spend years together. Why did it only feel like days?)
“Are you a robber?” in hindsight, the first words Wu Xie had spoken to him were so silly. To call Zhang Qiling a mere robber. Had his lackeys been accompanying him, they would’ve laughed Wu Xie in the face and murdered him a second later. Luckily, they were not. Zhang Qiling did not like company.
Not before Wu Xie, anyway.
“You can’t steal that!” When Zhang Qiling had ignored the boy, he’d moved in between him and the exit. His arms spread to block his path. “That’s from my uncle, you need to pay!” The sight was funny. The boy was too small to make even a dent in his strength.
Zhang Qiling almost wanted to point out his uncle has stolen it as well, from Ghost City. He raised a brow as he watched the kid scramble for more words, looking around with panicked eyes.
“I will pay,” he had said, half intrigued by the kid, half by the shop filled with cursed weapons and heavenly spiritual devices. The interior stank of dark magic, mixed with the overly sweet glow of a heaven’s official blessing. It could not have been the kid, neither the uncle who was snoring away his booze in the backroom.
No other choice but to accept his words, Wu Xie had watched Zhang Qiling leave the shop, before disappearing into darkness. Zhang Qiling knew the boy believed him, and that might have been the reason he made true of his promise in the end.
From a young age, Wu Xie had been a trouble magnet. For some fates are decided up above, by those pretentious Heavenly Officials, t seems that Wu Xies’ was to constantly get into trouble, dance with the devil – that last one more literal than the first.
Zhang Qiling saved Wu Xie from stumbling off a cliff, just 5 days later. It wouldn’t have killed the boy, just wounded him, but still Zhang Qiling thought of his debt paid. A stolen sword for an unbroken leg, both extensions of one body.
Yet, only a month later, the boy had somehow ended up in a fight. He was too skinny, no muscle and not enough food given by his uncle. Zhang Qiling had stopped the second jab directed at Wu Xie’s cheek, and had paid it back double to the assaulter. Although Wu Xie had stopped him at that time, the group of troublemakers that’d started the fight were never to be seen again. There was a particular dungeon set apart in Ghost City by Zhang Qiling for that scum.
It happened again, and again, and again. In between saving Wu Xie, they eventually started to talk. Or Wu Xie did. After stammering a couple of thankful words to Zhang Qiling, he’d ask about his day. When there was no answer, Wu Xie would instead tell Zhang Qiling about his.
Zhang Qiling listened attentively.
Were they friends before that time? Zhang Qiling did not know. He did not speak much about himself. He knew more about Wu Xie than anyone else, though. The Calamity of Ghost City spent more time with a human boy in the middle realm than with his underlings in hell. Nobody dared to speak against him or stop him.
Nobody, of course, except Wu Xie.
“Do you have any friends?” he asked one day, wiping away the dirt on his pants. Wu Xie’s parents would scold him were he to admit that he entered the cursed forest on his own. That he almost got mauled by an undeath wolf. Almost, because that wolf’s maul was instead slashed by a familiar black sword.
Unsurprisingly, Zhang Qiling did not give an answer. He had no answer. He might not have any idea what a friend exactly was, at that time.
“Because I met this really fat kid, a couple of years older than me, and he kept saying that you aren’t real!” Wu Xie scowled like the spoiled 15-year-old that he was. Zhang Qiling considered ruffling his hair, how his uncle sometimes did to him. “He doesn’t believe me when I tell him about you! He doesn’t believe you are my friend!”
Ah. Perhaps they were friends, then. That friendship got lost, somewhere, on the way. The friendship between a mere mortal and an immortal devil, how quant.
So, because it was Wu Xie, of course Zhang Qiling ended up meeting the fat kid. Pangzi’s mouth stood open the entire day they spend together, walking around town, out of town, towards the next town. Pretending to be on an adventure. Wu Xie’s world was small like that. He was too curious, too closeted. Perchance that was why he got into trouble so easily. Perhaps he was prone to seeking it out.
At some point, Zhang Qiling equally loved and disliked that about Wu Xie. He couldn’t understand the emotions at first, precisely, but he could recall the sting in his body when Wu Xie was in danger. He could recall the relief as he got an excuse to meet him again.
It all changed only a year ago. Their friendship twisting into something else. Wu Xie was 18 years old, loudly voicing he could go wherever he wanted and not be stopped by anyone. Not his family, not Zhang Qiling, not anyone. Zhang Qiling would never stop Wu Xie from going where he wanted, anyway.
(Look how far that had brought him?)
Still. Zhang Qiling did not understand why he had to go there.
(He did now.)
“Do you have a death wish!?” He wasn’t one prone to raising his voice, to yelling at anyone, even when rage took over his mind. He wasn’t angry though. He was worried, extremely distressed, and he felt useless for the first time in his life.
(A feeling he felt right now, too often.)
“Xiaoge!” the only thing Wu Xie had yelled in reply was his name, followed by an embrace so powerful it almost knocked the Ghost King to the ground. Almost. He hadn’t expected it, was all. He dragged the boy – now adult – towards a side street of Ghost City. He had to get him out of there, towards safety. Even if he ruled the city, he did not trust anyone not to hurt Wu Xie.
Why was Wu Xie here? How was he here? He had never had more questions on his mind. Had never cursed himself for being such an non-verbal creature. In the end, there was only one question more important that the others, the one he ended up voicing when they were in a safe place.
An old pavilion, forgotten with time, invisible to most ghosts. The room was dark, the distant sound of bells hiding the secret underneath. “What are you doing here?”
And Wu Xie had blinked up at him with those smart and big eyes. The only light in the room – a candle next to them – illuminating the specs in his eyes, making them dance as he met Zhang Qilings’.
“I haven’t seen you for months,” he accused Zhang Qiling instead of answering, making the Ghost King blink as he was caught off guard. “I’ve been looking for you.”
He had been busy. He had lost track of time. Zhang Qiling didn’t always grasp what it was to be friends. Didn’t know it was required to meet up every now and then, catch up, and not to disappear without a trace. There was no reply, because he could not come up with the words to.
Wu Xie smiled at him, the first person in what felt like ages. He looked too human, too alive, with the red blush on his cheeks. Zhang Qiling was so thankful he’d noticed the boy walking through the city of the death before anything bad was done to him.
“I found you now.” Wu Xie said. Then, answering a question Zhang Qiling did not even know he had wondered, he bridged the distance between them. A warm and soft pair of lips met his own cold and stiff ones.
Wu Xie was so alive. Zhang Qiling kissed him back, answering another question that was only meant to himself.
It made him feel alive, for the first time in hundreds of years.
But he was not. Zhang Qiling had been death for so long he almost forgot how it was to be human. How it was to be mortal. They dated, if you could call it that, for a year.
It didn’t feel real to Zhang Qiling. Really, it made sense, that that was all it took for Wu Xie to leave Zhang Qiling. Wu Xie was too good for this world, too full of love, and that had become his demise in the end.
And it was all Zhang Qiling’s fault. Those words, that fact, would haunt him more than he’d ever haunted his victims.
They had been in one of the human capitals, walking hand in hand, warm in cold, through the crowds. It was the festival of the lovers, something that had never interested Zhang Qiling before. They had met up for a date. Lately, Wu Xie got into trouble less and less, not needing constant rescuing anymore. It would’ve made him disappointed, were it not for that instead those meeting were replaced by ones filled with love and joy.
Those emotions that had been so unknown to Zhang Qiling before, were so clear that night.
It would’ve been better if they weren’t. Zhang Qiling should only be there to save Wu Xie when he was in danger. Better, Zhang Qiling should not have saved Wu Xie at all. Did he not notice, know, that the biggest danger was Zhang Qiling.
It had always been Zhang Qiling’s fault. All of it.
There were fireworks going off in the distance. It had felt like such a dream.
“Zhang Qiling,” Wu Xie had whispered through the crowds commotion. Zhang Qiling had caught the words without a problem. He was tuned into anything Wu Xie said, always. He glanced at the other, raising his brow as he patiently waited.
“Zhang Qiling,” Wu Xie breathed his name again, “I know it’s impossible, for us to be together like this is insanity.”
Cold water fell over Zhang Qiling. He thought it was the fountain they had passed, but found himself completely dry. He figured he was relating too much with being human, describing emotions like that.
“I am a human, and you are a ghost—“ they had never spoken about it. Zhang Qiling hated that they were now. The truth didn’t sound good. He favoured Wu Xie’s big eyes and innocent smile over whatever this was. “I am mortal, and you can’t die—“
“I’d die for you.” The words left Zhang Qiling before he could catch them. The box of his ashes felt exposed in his pocket. Soon, he would ask Wu Xie to have it. Wu Xie was able to protect him like that, he knew it.
“Zhang Qiling,” hearing his confession, Wu Xie said his name again. It almost felt foreign, for normally he’d call him others nicknames. The smile was so sweet it hurt even more in the end. “I just want to say – I… I love you, Zhang Qiling.”
Zhang Qiling had always know it was inevitable that Wu Xie would desert him. He knew that one day, Wu Xie would leave him behind, go to a place he could never go. For Wu Xie was too pure, too innocent, too human for his world.
“Live for me, Zhang Qiling.”
Most of all. Wu Xie was too loving.
So much that he was able to love a death, soulless and heartless being.
It was unprecedented, and that’s exactly why it happened. The light of ascension haunted Zhang Qilings dreams, if he would be able to sleep at all. To ascend into a God by being able to love Zhang Qiling. To become a Heavenly Official and have to leave the creature you loved, behind, because of it.
A Ghost King could not follow into a God’s footsteps. Not even as a lackey.
And even after a week of waiting in the town, even after searching everywhere for a sign, Zhang Qiling still had no sight of Wu Xie.
Another week, which turned into a month, which turned into a year.
Was Zhang Qiling still a Calamity, the way he was wandering around the earth, searching for his love? Being a renegade for a cause lost. The way his heart beat in pain with every second, the feeling of his lungs protesting every step he took.
Zhang Qiling was more human than a ghost.
Wu Xie had successfully showed him love. Wu Xie had made Zhang Qiling feel human.
Become human.
His knees collapsed on the ground of the temple, making him feel the hurt, the sting of the wound bleeding onto the stone floor. Inside, it smelled like flowers, incense, and the rain Zhang Qiling was hiding from inside. He looked up as he knelt in front of the statue, seeing one of Wu Xie’s many interpretations smile down on him.
Although each one of them was different, Zhang Qiling had always been able to retain one thing. The eyes on the statue were one hundred percent, perfectly, Wu Xie’s. Seeing him smile at Zhang Qiling like that, he felt like every hardship was worth it. He did not fear being human for Wu Xie.
“Wu Xie,” Zhang Qiling breathed the words he should’ve muttered that evening. “I – too – love you, Wu Xie.”
For the second time in his existence, and the first time in his human life, Zhang Qiling was met with a heavenly light. This time, it was meant for him.
(Wu Xie smiled at him in the upper realm. He was holding out his hand, waiting for Zhang Qiling, like he had not done anything else that year they had been apart. Zhang Qiling’s palm fit perfectly into Wu Xie’s, still.)