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Peter is two years and one month old the first time Tony has to go on an extended trip. He’s been avoiding them like the plague, diverting Obie whenever the subject comes up, and May loves Tony’s relationship with Peter, she does, but the separation anxiety was a lot harder to break than she thought it would be.
And that was entirely on Tony.
They finally got past all the screaming and crying and running around and looking after about a month of trying, but after that it was just silent, desperate tears, which Tony didn’t hear, at first, when she had him stationed in another room. May tried to hide it, tried to distract the baby and sit by and be her own kind of support—but of course, Tony snuck out to see what was going on, and nearly had a fucking stroke.
She’s had to break Tony’s behavior, too.
Which part of her disliked doing, because she remembers the early months and how much she hated him, how much she hated his absence, the nerve of him, not celebrating this baby’s every move. But now, and always, it’s the polar opposite, and she loves it and she loves Peter and strangely enough, she loves Tony—he’s like the brother she never had, a surprise and a pleasant one at that. Mary left her with the sweetest baby in the universe, but she also left her with Tony—someone she never, ever expected to feel so close to. Her days feel empty if he’s not in them, and she just loves how much he loves that baby.
So this trip wasn’t exactly something Tony wanted, but the meeting was in California with a recently widowed and recently injured weapons contractor, old enough to be Tony’s grandfather and someone loath to travel. Apparently, he didn’t have a wonderful relationship with Obie, so Tony had to take the lead.
They’ve come a long way, since Tony even pretending to leave meant the world was ending. But they haven’t gotten to the point of Tony being gone for four days.
Their parting was fine. Tony had prepared himself for the actual goodbye, having his own mini breakdown in private, but he kissed and hugged Peter like he always does, Pepper carefully putting his suitcase in the hallway.
Then he was gone.
It didn’t take long for Peter to notice, since Tony didn’t come back within a normal amount of time, but May and Ben have been on top of the distractions.
“Kitty and doggy friends?” Peter asks, sitting in May’s lap and pointing at the TV. “Friends and eat?”
“Yup,” May says, glancing up at the door again. It’s the second day, out of four, and today started out with a tantrum. Or...not really a tantrum, because Peter is the best baby of all time and rarely causes problems, but more of that deep kind of sadness that Peter goes through when he realizes that Tony is still gone. It’s not hysterical and it’s not something she can’t deal with, but it still breaks her heart to see him cry like that.
“Kitty eat mac and cheese,” Peter says, pointing more forcefully. “Yes? Like Petey lunch?”
“Yeah, babycakes, your favorite thing,” May says, tickling his side. Ben was supposed to be home already, and he’s a little late, which always worries her. She kisses the top of Peter’s head and tries to watch for any change in him. She knows he’s gonna start asking for Tony again soon, because he does almost every hour on the hour, like his brain is reminded that his father is still gone.
“What color is kitty, huh?” May asks, trying to stave off the inevitable. She points alongside Peter’s hand.
“Kitty orange,” Peter says, laughing a bit. “Doggy black. Halloween! Halloween!”
May laughs, shaking her head, and imagines that’s something he picked up directly from Tony and not from any book or TV show. “That’s right,” May says, brushing Peter’s hair back. “Halloween colors. What are you gonna be this year, huh? It’s coming up. Coming up quick.”
“Quick!” Peter says, leaning back against her and clapping his hands. “Uh, Petey monkey—dunno! Dunno!”
“Oh, you and dada haven’t discussed it yet?” May says, and immediately realizes her mistake.
Peter whips his head back to look at her, and then he looks back at the door, his mouth pressed into a firm line. “Dada when come home?” he asks, not teary-eyed yet, but she can feel it coming. “Dada come home? Soon?”
It breaks her heart. It’s not like he’s not coming back, he’s one hundred percent coming back, but this has only been an idea, until now, the two of them separated. Tony told her way back that Peter most definitely realized Mary was gone and not coming back, and that made May feel sick, even though she knew it was something they were going to have to face eventually. It warms her heart, to know Peter recognizes her, to know that Tony is making sure he recognizes her, but his relationship with Tony is different, because of what happened. They are a team, just like everybody calls them, and after losing Mary, Peter is that much more attached to his father.
She clears her throat and hugs Peter a little tighter against her. He reaches up and grips her wrist, still staring at the door. “Soon, honey bunches of oats,” she says. “Today is the second day Dada is gone, right? So we’ve got two more days. He’ll be back on the fourth day.” She holds up the hand that he’s not holding on to, and holds up four fingers. “Number four. One, two, three, four.”
“Four,” Peter says. “Four then Dada.”
“Exactly,” May says. “And two have already gone by, counting today.” She takes down two fingers. “So two more! That’s it! He’ll be home around dinner time on the fourth day. We’re gonna go over to your house and we’re gonna wait for Dada while Uncle Ben makes dinner for his homecoming. And Pepper too.”
“Pep! Pep!”
May grins, tickling him a bit. “That’s right!” she says. “So not too much time left, okay?” She still feels bad, but she’s elated she avoided the crying. And then she remembers, and she gasps, startling Peter a little bit. “And guess what, Peter? Guess what?”
He’s looking back at her, wide-eyed. “What?” he says, looking a little confused.
“Uncle Rhodey is coming tomorrow to stay with us!” she says. “And with you! And to be here for when Dada gets home!”
“Uncle Rhodey!” Peter exclaims, face lighting up. He always seems to struggle over the word Rhodey but he says it anyway, clapping his hand against May’s wrist in excitement.
“That’s right!” May says. Even though Rhodey has never stayed with them before, May had specifically asked him to come this time, to try and distract Peter even more from the fact that Tony was gone.
Peter struggles down out of her arms and gets back down onto the carpet, rushing over to the castle that he’s been building. Rhodey usually helps him when they’re all here, which is probably the reason for the rush, and May stares off at Peter and starts thinking.
She spent a lot of time with him when he was a baby, before Tony was in the picture. And she’s spent hour upon hour with him since Tony did become the main person in his life. She knows that baby like the back of her hand—how he reacts to things, how he might be left-handed, how he gets invested in every single commercial that’s on the TV.
So why was she so worried about this time without Tony? Why has she loaded it up with distracting things and new toys?
She remembers the doctor’s visit, years ago. Remembers the diagnosis and the pit in her stomach and how it took days and days and days and weeks and months and an inordinate amount of time to lock it into her head.
I’m sorry, Mrs. Parker. Children just aren’t in your future.
And yet, here’s one. Here’s one right here. He’s not hers, sure, but he’s her family.
Is this some kind of weird, intrinsic doubt she’s instilled in herself without realizing she’s done it?
The front door opens and Peter nearly topples over trying to see who it is, and though he does show a tiny bit of disappointment that it’s not Tony, he still stomps his feet in happiness for Ben.
“Sorry about that,” Ben says, sweeping inside with some grocery bags. “The train stopped for about fifteen minutes for some god forsaken reason—hey, buddy boy!”
“Uncle Ben!” Peter yells, running over and hugging his leg. Ben bends down and sweeps him up in one arm, straightening out again and walking over to her.
Ben swings in close and plants a kiss on the corner of her mouth, and Peter’s fingers slide through her hair in the moment that he’s close, too. She manages a small smile and Ben narrows his eyes when he pulls back again, walking over and setting the groceries down on the counter.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, already highly aware that something’s up with her.
“Nothing,” she says, though she knows he won’t let up until she tells him.
~
So she tells him in bed that night. The baby monitor crackles a bit every time Peter turns in bed, but he’s sleeping like a log and cradling his monkey in his arms. The phone call from Tony was short and sweet tonight, not nearly long enough for Peter’s liking, and he started to conk out pretty quick after.
“I feel like my brain is trying to toy with me,” May says, facing away from Ben. She trusts him with everything, with every bit of her and every bit of everything else, but sometimes it’s easier to say the hard things when she’s not looking at him. He’s got too much honesty in him, and sometimes the extent of his love and kindness is enough to start her crying. She doesn’t need that right now.
He knows all this, because he knows everything about her, and he shifts closer and wraps his arm around her middle. “I think I know what you’re saying,” he says.
“You’ve seen me filling up these days like a mad woman,” she says, pressing her hand on top of his own. “Like it’s Peter’s own little mini summer camp.”
“You think he can’t be happy with just you,” Ben says.
“Maybe.”
“Or like you’re not meant for this.”
She sighs.
“Well, you are,” Ben says. “And I know what you’re thinking and where your mind is going and just because we can’t have our own kids doesn’t mean anything for how much you’re capable of, especially with Peter. Most especially with him.”
She hums a little bit to herself. It always feels better to hear him say it. Everything he says is true.
“That little munchkin probably loves you best, right after Tony,” Ben says. “And you know it. You know it, don’t un-know it.”
She smiles, laughing.
“Don’t ever feel like wanting backup is a bad thing,” Ben says. “Me and Rhodey, in this case. Backup is good and you don’t need to be ashamed of it. But you know full well you could handle it alone, don’t let anything tell you otherwise. Your own brain or not. Doesn’t mean anything, alright? I’ve been telling you that for years and I’m gonna keep telling you. How strong you are, how loving.”
“Fine,” she says. “If you say so.” She settles back against him a little bit more, her shoulders relaxing. She hates that a man can so easily sway her, because she prides herself on being independent and a feminist through and through, but Ben is just—Ben. He’s part of her. He lifts her up whether she wants to be or not.
“I do,” he says, kissing her cheek. “I do say so.”
Just then, Peter shoots up in bed and starts tapping on the railing of his baby barrier. It doesn’t look like a bad dream, and he just sits there, tapping and tapping.
“May?” he says, tentatively, looking around. “May?”
Ben laughs behind her. “See? What did I say?”
“Uh huh uh huh,” she says, her heart doing a little flip as she gets out of bed. She smiles over her shoulder at him, and he raises his eyebrows.
She heads out of the room with renewed purpose, eager to snuggle her nephew.
~
Rhodey gets there in the afternoon the next day, and they set him up on the couch, May only feeling slightly embarrassed that they don’t have a guest room he can stay in.
“Tony hasn’t called yet today,” Ben says, sitting at the table and glancing over the mail.
Rhodey is sitting with Peter by the castle, and he glances back, rolling his eyes. “I only briefly connected with him earlier, on my way over here,” he says. “And I was mostly talking to Pepper.”
May cocks her head. She isn’t as finely tuned to Tony’s tones yet as she’d prefer to be, especially when he’s trying to talk to Peter on the phone. But from the look on Rhodey’s face she feels like something is up other than Tony missing his baby. “Is he having a hard time?” she asks.
Rhodey hesitates, but only briefly. “He and Obie keep butting heads,” Rhodey says. “This guy they’re with, he’s all about legacy, blah, blah, and Tony’s been, uh—well, let’s just say he’s been thinking real hard about what his father left him now that little monkey is here.”
May isn’t exactly surprised about that, considering that Tony seems to be hiding his work more and more often when they come around.
“Here,” Peter says, handing Rhodey a small plastic brick. “And here. Goes there. There with door.”
“Oh, okay,” Rhodey says, laughing a little bit. “Yes sir.”
“May,” Peter says, turning around and looking at her. “Yes? Um, red door. Please.”
May grins and gets off the couch, crawling over and picking out the pieces they haven’t used yet from the pile Peter made. “You’re so polite, angel baby. You’re so polite.”
Peter grins at her, and leans in when she goes to give him a kiss. She knows this one won’t be a weapons manufacturer. She thought it suited Tony, when she didn’t know him, but she knows him now and it doesn’t suit him either. But Peter is sweetness personified, and she doesn’t think he’ll ever be anything but that.
She feels better today, and she thinks it’s strange, how doubts wane and grow as the days pass. It helps that Peter has been extra cuddly today. That’s always a plus.
“Well, we’re looking forward to having him back,” Ben says. “And we appreciate you coming to stay.”
“Oh, you know I love being here,” Rhodey says, working a few of the outside pieces into the castle. “And I don’t know how much Tony says, since his words get lost sometimes, but he loves you guys too. And I mean loves. Like I said, I don’t know how much he expresses that, so I’m here to reveal those secrets.”
May smiles to herself and glances up at Ben. He looks pleased as punch, and she knows he loves Tony, too. Ben’s actual, legitimate friends are few and far between, so seeing him close to someone always warms her heart.
And she loves Tony too. Sure she does.
She clears her throat.
“Well, you know I love secrets,” she says. “Especially of that variety.”
“Oh, I’ve got plenty of Tony Stark secrets,” Rhodey says, looking back at her. “Some I’m not willing to share, out of love for the man, but some I’m—yeah, some that make for a good story.”
“Uncle Rhodey, when Dada come home?” Peter says, turning around and pushing on Rhodey’s shoulder. “When? When?”
“Soon, buddy,” Rhodey says, ruffling Peter’s hair. “Tomorrow. ASAP.”
Peter stares at him. “A sap. Sap.”
Rhodey snorts, grinning at him. “Yes, that’s it. You’re right. Now lemme tell some embarrassing college stories about your dad.”
~
Rhodey’s stories somehow endear May to Tony more, which frustrates her a little bit because this weekend has fully and completely made her realize that there’s no more fighting this. No more begrudgingly interacting with Tony Stark. He’s family now. She’s actually using the word love.
But it’s been that way for a while now, hasn’t it?
Rhodey talks about all Tony’s failed experiments, all his successes, and no matter how many times he almost blew himself up or how many contests he won, it always seemed like he was trying to impress his father. May doesn’t presume to know much about Howard Stark, but Tony always seems like he’s carrying a weight with him, when it comes to fatherhood. Something he has to overcome. And even though most of Rhodey’s stories are funny, May reads into every word.
Rhodey’s relationship with Tony really, really makes May miss her sister.
“May, May,” Peter says, still over by the castle while Ben and Rhodey laugh, the two of them sitting at the table. Peter jumps up and down and starts breathing fast, toddling over to her and bracing his hands on her knee. “Kiss kiss! Give Petey monkey kiss!”
She’s immediately distracted from her sadness, and she groans as she lifts him up into her lap. “You know I can’t resist that,” she says, kissing him all over. “You know I can’t. You know it.”
“May, I love,” Peter says, giggling. “Okay? Now, build castle, okay?”
She snorts, kissing him one more time. “I love you too, and okay,” she says, setting him back down. He stands there for a second, grinning at her, and then he toddles back over to the castle, flopping down.
May runs her hand through her hair and looks over at the boys.
“He was always just—a little overzealous,” Rhodey laughs.
“I’m surprised he hasn’t called yet,” May says, butting in before they can start talking again. She glances at the time—it’s almost nine, and Peter’s sleep schedule has been all over the place lately, especially after Tony left.
“Me too,” Ben says, narrowing his eyes. “Usually—”
Then the door opens. Slowly, carefully, to avoid the creak they’ve been meaning to oil out, and for some reason, May immediately knows what’s happening.
She doesn’t think it’s a bold burglar, or their landlord or anything else. She should have known he would come back early on his first real big outing, and her heart fills with something. Excitement, at seeing them back together again. She only wishes he would have called ahead and warned them, because Peter has been so aware of the door lately that she’s sure he’s going to whip around and ruin the surprise.
She sees Tony poke his head in, very slowly, and his eyes immediately find Peter. May, Ben and Rhodey are all holding their breath, wearing stupid matching smiles, and, shockingly, Tony has caught Peter at a good moment. He’s completely focused on the castle, trying to fit together one of the upper towers and the flag that goes with it.
“Work,” Peter says, brow furrowed, and he tries the piece he’s holding a couple of different ways as Tony and Pepper quietly, oh so quietly, sneak into the apartment. Pepper gently shuts the door and thankfully, it doesn’t snap closed. Peter huffs. “May, is no work, not fit.”
“It will, baby,” May says, watching eagerly as Tony hands his bag to Pepper and sits cross-cross, on the carpet behind Peter. May doesn’t even know if Peter has the right piece, if she’s lying to him saying it’ll fit, but Tony looks so damn excited and his surprise plan is actually working.
Tony takes the flag Peter needs in his hand. He’s inches from him and Peter has no idea.
“Need red,” Peter says, getting fed up with what’s not working. He babbles a little bit to himself and puts his hand down where it was. “Red stick.”
Tony’s smile is lighting up the whole damn room.
Peter realizes the flag isn’t where he left it, and his brow furrows more severely. Then he turns, and finally, he sees him. Tony laughs and Peter shrieks, so loud it nearly blows out May’s ear drums.
But somehow, at the same time, it’s one of the best sounds she’s ever heard.
“Dada!” Peter yells, launching himself into Tony’s arms, wrapping his arms around his neck. Everyone laughs then, clapping their hands, and May finds herself doing it too.
“Dada home, Dada home! Home home Dada!”
“That’s right, monkey,” Tony says, kissing Peter’s cheek and holding him close. “Finally, my God.”
“You don’t even know how hard it was to pull this off,” Pepper says, leaning on the back of Rhodey’s chair. “He literally walked out on a meeting.”
“But everything’s alright?” Rhodey asks. “Everything...in order?”
“It’s in order,” Tony says, ruffling Peter’s hair and kissing him again. “Sometimes they just go on and on and on and it doesn’t need to be that much of a discussion. And Obie hates that guy and I don’t even know why he showed up, just made things more difficult and I had two old men yelling over me at all times.”
“Dada, I love Dada,” Peter says, leaning back and patting Tony’s cheeks. “Dada here, Dada here.”
“Had to get back to someone with some sense,” Tony says, nuzzling their noses together. “Yes I did.”
“We were wondering why you didn’t call,” May says, getting to her feet at the same time Tony does, Peter still in his arms. She walks over and kisses him on the cheek, and he looks happier than he has in a long time. “Guess I should have known you’d do something like this.”
“I like to keep everybody on their toes,” Tony says.
“May fun,” Peter says, grinning, snuggling into Tony’s neck but pointing at her. “Fun, sing kitty song, uh, uh, airplane with the big fly.”
“Oh yeah?” Tony asks, tickling Peter’s side. Peter laughs happily, holding tight to Tony’s lapel.
“Don’t let him fool you,” May says, leaning in and kissing on Peter too, because how can she resist? “He was asking for you every five minutes.”
“Nice to have you back, Tony,” Ben says, behind him, clapping a hand on his shoulder. “Place isn’t the same without you around.”
“You hear him?” Tony asks, raising his eyebrows at May. “He said it, not me.”
“I’m still staying over tonight,” Rhodey says. “May and Ben, you hear me? Just because he shows up out of the blue doesn’t mean I’m high tailing it.”
May snorts. “Good, we’re all—”
“Thought I could also be included on the sleepover,” Tony says, without asking, turning and looking at Ben.
May laughs. “Pepper, you too? We’ll all be snug as a bug in a rug.”
“Oh, no thank you,” she says. “As much as I want to support you being the only woman present, my bed is calling to me. At least for one night.”
~
Peter is truly elated, which makes him even more willing to stay up late. Pepper hangs around for coffee and cocoa, and she gives Tony a hug which May watches closely, like a lunatic. She knows there’s something there, and she wonders how long she’ll be watching them like they’re her own personal soap opera. It’s already been years.
Ben and Rhodey make cookies at midnight, because they’re children, and May sits on the couch with Tony and Peter. Peter is slowly making his descent into sleep, but every time he closes his eyes he wakes himself up, just to make sure Tony is still there. When he realizes he is, Peter smiles happily, and cuddles closer.
“I hope it wasn’t too torturous,” May says.
“Oh, it was,” Tony breathes, with a sigh, leaving a lot of the story unsaid. “I think I might try and bring him next time. It was just—a struggle, on its own, but even more of a struggle because I missed him so damn much.”
“He missed you too,” May says, leaning on her elbow.
“Bet he was better than me,” Tony says, meeting her gaze. “Especially with you taking care of him. You could take care of anything. I could leave you with a wild lynx and I’d come back to find you tamed it.”
May scoffs. “Yeah, sure.”
“He loves his aunts and uncles,” Tony says, kissing the top of Peter’s head. “Because he’s a little smarty. Smarty pants.”
May thinks about the things Rhodey said, about Tony’s feelings towards his job, and what he should leave behind for Peter. But she knows he won’t be leaving any time soon, so she doesn’t mention it. Not yet, at least. She feels like he needs to come to a lot of conclusions on his own.
“He’s full of love,” she says. “And sweetness.”
“Precisely why being away from him was like a near death experience,” Tony says.
“Cookie time,” Ben calls, walking into the room with a plate. “Rhodey ate all the gooiest ones already.”
“Do not blatantly lie about me in my presence.”
May snorts, feeling a wave of happiness.
She’s really glad he’s home.