Chapter Text
╔═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══╗
Can't you look at me?
Am I that hideous to you?
Can't you talk to me?
Do I really mean nothing to you?
Turn away
Forget everything
That's okay
I regret nothing
Nothing
Hideous, by Mehro.
╚═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══╝
Everyone in Class 1-A was pissed at Katsuki.
What pissed him off? He didn’t know why they were acting like this.
They definitely didn’t try to make it subtle either. During class, he’d be glared at openly. During lunch… Well, he’ll just say according to his fr- classmates , there wasn’t enough ‘ space’ on the table he usually sat at. Which was such obvious bullshit he just left to eat elsewhere.
He didn’t care, though. Their loss; he really, truly didn’t care.
(Why did he feel like he was convincing himself?)
What didn’t help was that Midoriya was acting more skittish and guilty than usual. A glance shot in his direction by Katsuki would make him smile weakly but then look down, as if ashamed. He was quieter. And he looked uncomfortable whenever a classmate would ‘accidentally’ shove into Katsuki, or would ‘accidentally’ leave their leg out conveniently to make him stumble a little. Each time the person would apologise, but it was so fake Katsuki almost wanted to hide his look of disgust and anger. It was so frustrating that they’d openly lie to his face like that. Say, ‘oh, I’m so sorry.’ Or, ‘oh, I didn’t mean to. Sorry.’ Or, ‘oh, did I hurt you? Sorry.’
Sorry, sorry, fucking sorry.
How fucking stupid, how gullible, how weak did he look to them?
(... It hurt.)
So when, for what must’ve been the fiftieth time someone purposely stuck their leg out, he snapped.
“ ‘Aight, I’m fucking done with this. What the fuck is everyone’s problem?!” he snapped to the classroom. It was home time; he should be out of this damn classroom by now, but he needed to know. He was tired of all this shit.
Midoriya turned to look at him from where he was gathering his things. He hesitated, looking around the silent classroom, and Katsuki watched him closely. Eventually he steeled himself to do something, and opened his mouth; “ Kacchan, I–”
“ What are you talking about, Bakugo?” Uraraka cut in. Her voice was sweet, but Katsuki knew better. He heard the venom - the anger - in her tone.
He scowled. “ The fuck do you mean? You think I’m so fucking stupid to not see what everyone’s doing? Or that I’m naive enough? Gullible, maybe?! Hah?!”
Todoroki spoke up. That should have been a warning; Todoroki rarely meddled with class drama. He spoke calmly, but like Uraraka, it was obvious it was hiding anger. “ Fine, if you’d really like to know. We were just giving you a taste of your own medicine.”
“ And what the fuck does that mean?” Katsuki snapped.
“ It means,” Kirishima said, and against his will, the look on his face made Katsuki’s heart deflate a little. “ That we know what you did in middle school.”
Katsuki’s eyes widened slightly. He scowled deeper. That… it could mean many things, but in this context, the answer was obvious. “ And what might that fucking be?”
Midoriya tried to speak, “ Kacchan, I promise you, I didn’t mean to say it. I was tired, under Recovery Girl’s quirk. I never meant to go back on it, I swear, and I am so sorry–”
“ We know ,” Uraraka said while putting a hand on Midoriya’s shoulder as if she was protecting him, “ That you bullied him. That you bullied our friend .”
‘Our friend.’ … That- they were acting as if they didn’t regard him as a friend either. Sure, he acted rough and pissed on the outside, but he- he really thought that maybe they–
… He didn’t care. He didn't.
Midoriya shrugged her hand off and frowned. “ Hey, you don’t understand, it was my fault too! And Kacchan’s learning, he’s getting kinder and learning from it all! We’re getting so close to how we used to be, can’t you just let that happen? Please?”
“ Midoriya,” Iida said, hands chopping stiffly, “ Please, stop trying to defend him. It’s alright –”
“ But it isn’t,” Midoriya said, frown deepening. “ You don’t understand, you all don’t understand! Kacchan, tell them! Tell them how we’re getting better, tell them how you’re learning, we both are–”
“ Just- just fucking drop it, Deku,” Katsuki said lowly. Midoriya did, if only because of shock. The blonde hated how weak he felt. Since when had he allowed himself to be so free around them? So - ew - emotional and sensitive?
God, Katsuki wished he’d never asked. But at the same time, he would’ve done it again. Because then he’d be living in this ignorant bubble where he still thought he was getting better and that maybe, maybe he could put this all behind them, because he was trying .
This ignorant bubble where his classmates would understand; tolerate him even if his worst parts were revealed to them, past or not be damned.
“ I just,” Ashido said, glaring at him. “ I don’t get how you can act like you’ve done nothing wrong! Are you really that much of a villain ?!”
(No, he’s just regrettably great at acting, even when he kinda wished he wasn’t .)
Kaminari shook his head in his seat. “ Not cool, man.”
(Katsuki knows. God, he knows that and it feels terrible .)
Sero huffed and turned away from Katsuki. “ I can’t believe we- I hung out with you for so long.”
(He didn’t even expect them to like him in the first place. He wished they understood.)
“... And not even an excuse.” Kirishima scowled deeper at Katsuki.
(There is none. I deserve it all.)
Disappointment, betrayal, and… and hatred. That’s all they showed to him. The very few people he’d actually ever begun to trust in his entire life.
But Katsuki?
He kept his head high. He kept his shoulders back. He kept his unbothered scowled fixed on his face, even as he turned and walked out, even as they yelled insults at his back, even as his heart became harder and harder and walls built higher and higher–
Because if he didn’t ? They’d see what he really was.
Weak.
⬽—+—⤘
At the dorms, Katsuki was doing his homework in the common room. It wasn’t unusual; he often went there if his room was starting to feel small around him.
Apparently now he was doing something fucking wrong.
“ Bakugo. Move,” Uraraka said bittersweetly, standing above him with her arms crossed.
He didn’t look up from the maths equation in front of him. “ Fuck nah.”
She huffed. “ I want to sit there, Bakugo . So move.” She said his name as if it was an insult. Katsuki couldn’t care less.
“ And I was here first, Pink Cheeks. Ya snooze, ya lose. Fuck off.” Despite the respect Katsuki used to have for Uraraka’s great strength and determination, she was apparently not so great in the sharp-tongued section. She stared at him, obviously wanting to say something but coming up with nothing.
Eventually, she just blurted, “ Fine. You’re selfish anyway, what did I expect?”
Katsuki lowered his homework book slightly and gave her an unimpressed look, before returning back to where he’d been in the equation. She walked away with an angry fire in her eye.
Not five minutes later, someone new interrupted him.
“ Hey, would you look at that? Bakugo’s actually calm for once, how rare!” Mineta snorted as he waddled past.
Katsuki’ll be damned if he lets Mineta of all people set him off. That guy was a walking, idiotic, overgrown grape. He doubted a word coming out of his mouth used more than two brain cells, if any.
But then Katsuki heard Kaminari sigh as he came out of the kitchen and gave Katsuki a glare. The latter stiffened in preparation of whatever was about to happen. Kaminari walked over to Jiro, who was sitting on a nearby table. He whispered, but it was purposely loud enough for Katsuki to hear. “ Yeah, it is rare, huh? I can’t believe I was friends with him. The signs were there all along, I just tagged along ‘cause I was friends with Kiri.”
Okay, that was fucking low. He won’t even deny it to himself anymore; it hurt.
But as much as he wanted to jump up and yell at him, he knew it wouldn’t help. They’d twist his words and actions, probably.
(Subconsciously, he knew he’d have to keep his guard up from now on. Anything could be used against him.
… Even with his used-to-be, closest friends.)
He clenched his jaw and continued his homework as they continued to insult and spew hateful things about him to each other.
He didn’t walk out. That might make them think they’ve won. No, instead, when he finished his homework, he got his phone out. He could practically hear the people around him grind their teeth in frustration. He smirked.
They were silly to think he’d go down so easily.