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“Why are you staring at me?”
“Because I think you’re beautiful.”
“Don’t do that,” Leia muttered, turning away from Amilyn and into the bedroom of her quarters on the Raddus. Walking over to her mirror she removed her earrings and her ring, setting them aside on the bedside table. She then removed her outer robe, smoothing her gray silk dress over her hips and sighing.
Amilyn watched from the doorway as Leia hung her robe in the utility closet provided aboard the ship. She remembered the days when both of their wardrobes had been much less utilitarian, often spending weeks on end stuck in an endless rotation of formal senatorial garb. Now, Leia’s closet was full of jumpsuits, leggings, tunics, and vests; gowns and robes like the ones she had worn today were few, donned only for special occasions such as the memorial dinner they’d just attended with the senior officers.
She’d joined Leia walking back to her quarters after they’d bid their goodnights to the other principal attendees, Gial Ackbar, Nien Nunb, and Caluan Ematt whom they’d known since their late teens. They’d enjoyed each other’s company throughout the party - Amilyn and the Ninka had just returned from a scouting mission and they hadn’t seen each other in several weeks - but since they’d returned to her bunkroom above the main bridge, Leia had seemed quiet and distant.
Now, as she moved back away from her closet, the petite woman noticed Amilyn leaning against the doorframe. She paused for a moment as they made eye contact, but just as quickly continued walking back over towards the bed.
“Are you just going to ignore me now?” Amilyn’s voice was gentle even as she raised her eyebrows.
Leia froze but did not turn to face that taller woman. “You’re being ridiculous.”
“Am I?” Amilyn moved from her position by the door and rested a hand on Leia’s shoulder, feeling the tremor that shook the other woman’s body at her touch.
“Yes,” Leia bristled and brushed off Amilyn’s hand. She stalked away back towards her mirror where she began to remove the small gold hair clips that had given her braids that evening the appearance of sparkling with starlight.
Amilyn followed her, and this time, standing directly behind her, placed her hands on Leia’s waist.
Leia’s breath hitched as she felt the heat of delicate hands through the thin silk of her dress. She slowly lowered her own hands and let them rest by her sides, unmoving. Reflected in the mirror in front of her, she caught Amilyn’s blue, sparkling eyes and her heart began to race faster.
“Did you know you’re the most beautiful woman in the galaxy?” Amilyn breathed, gently caressing Leia’s side as she spoke.
“Amilyn . . .” Leia shook her head slowly.
“All I ever wanted as a child was a place to belong,” the taller woman reflected. “Somewhere to call home. I was . . . eccentric.”
Leia snorted, softly. That was an understatement if ever there was one. She recalled the first time she’d met Amilyn, with her then-acid green hair and morbid fascination with the ‘nearness and inevitability of death.’ Not that much had changed, really. Amilyn was just as wild as she had been when they’d met on the side of a snowy mountain at sixteen, though time had tempered the woman now standing behind her into a wise and strong leader; one who had earned Leia’s trust and admiration a thousand times over.
“As much as I love the planet where I was raised, I didn’t fit in on Gatalenta,” Amilyn smiled sadly, continuing. “And I didn’t have any real friends until you. Over the years, I began to realize that it was with you that I felt most at home. Leia," she paused, "the place I belong is with you.”
Leia sighed heavily and closed her eyes. “When I-” her breath caught in her throat. “When I lost Alderaan, I thought I would never belong anywhere again.”
Amilyn simply nodded, rubbing Leia’s sides as she waited for her to continue.
“But,” Leia breathed shakily, “whenever I’m with you I don’t-“ She tried again, “I feel like I could be at home again, and it terrifies me. I couldn’t bear to lose that again.” A tear rolled down her cheek.
Slowly, Amilyn spun Leia so that they were facing each other and lightly brought a hand up to cup her cheek, brushing the tear away with her thumb. “In the end,” Amilyn whispered, “we only regret the chances we didn’t take.”
Their lips met cautiously, gently tasting each other for the first time. When they broke apart, more tears shone in Leia’s eyes. “Stay?” she breathed softly, faint uncertainty wavering in her voice.
Amilyn nodded. The Ninka could do without her for tonight. Threading her hands through Leia’s hair, Amilyn closed her eyes and kissed her love again.