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Pat was worried about Pran. In the past few weeks, something about him changed. He became stiffer, quieter – almost like the Pran he knew at first. Something in his stomach stirred. Is he tired of me already? Just like everyone else? Pran would never use me, but I know I’m a lot to handle.
Well, fuck. Pat was now stuck in a loop of doubtful thoughts. It took a lot of work for Pat to like himself. Maybe Pran couldn’t put in that work anymore.
He decided to visit his boyfriend anyway. With Pran’s favorite dishes in hand, Pat knocked on his boyfriend’s door. After knocking aggressively a few times, and calling for Pran and finally, calling his cell, Pat gave up and used the extra key Pran gave him for safekeeping.
The door opened to Pran silently wiggling in his cross-legged position on the floor to the music pumping in his headphones. Pat’s arrival went unnoticed, so he snuck up on him. It’s hard to tell what Pran is doing on the floor, but when he gets closer to see the brushes in his hand and the makeup palettes on the table, things became more clear.
“Pran?”
“Shit! Pat, what are you doing here? Why didn’t you knock?”
“I did! And I called you! I told you not to play music at such high volume, it’s bad for you! Also, are you– were you doing your makeup?”
Pran looked ashamed, like a child caught stealing cookies when they were told not to. He tried to wipe his face, even though not much budged.
“I– yeah. Just leave me alone. Sorry for weirding you out. I know it looks stupid– “
“Stupid? I think you’re pretty.”
Pat took a longer look at his boyfriend’s handiwork. His eyes were lined elaborately in rainbow stripes and they looked more doe-like than ever because of his long lashes. the high points of his cheeks were a pretty pink that reminded Pat of how Pran looks when he’s shy. His lips were tinged a soft pink and covered in glittery gloss. Pat wanted to kiss him till the colors were all over him.
“Pat you don’t have to be nice to me, I understand if you find this strange because you haven’t seen me like this.”
Pat knelt down in front of his boyfriend to look into his eyes, now shiny with tears, wondering why he was so afraid when all he felt was awe at how Pran’s careful skill reflected even in this, with nothing out of place.
“How could I ever lie to this face? Hm?” Pat gently traced the outline of his face, careful as to not mess his work. “You’re so talented. This is so good, you know. Better than a professional.”
Pran rolled his eyes while batting Pat’s hand away. “You’re exaggerating. I only started doing this about a month ago.”
“Wait a second. Is this why you were acting weird? Because you like makeup? You look so pretty, I wanna eat you up. I’m so mad I didn’t get to see this before.”
Pran laughed, looking more at ease now. Pat becomes relieved when he sees his boyfriend’s dimples. With his colorful makeup, he looked like an explosion of joy. Pat’s heart ached as he looked at the beautiful boy he had the privilege of loving.
“That’s part of it. I just wanted to look pretty. Feminine. I was jealous of girls who got to wear pretty makeup and draw on their face. I asked Ink to lend me some makeup so that I could experiment, but then I bought some on my own.”
“My boyfriend is so talented, you barely started doing this and you’re already like a pro.”
Pran’s cheeks turned a deeper pink. Pat was proud of himself.
“You said it was part of it? Is there another reason you’re avoiding me? It hurts me too, you know. We need to talk to solve things.”
“I’m sorry. I thought you’d be disgusted by me. Even men don’t like other men who wear makeup and want to look pretty. I didn’t want to be too… in your face. I didn’t want to be too gay.”
“Babe, you’re in love with a man and I’m okay with that, and that’s about as gay as you get, right? I’m just proud of you. For trying new things. For being so talented and creative. There’s no one like you, you know?”
“Yeah… I shouldn’t have been worried about being too gay,” Pran chuckled with relief.
“Hm, now you get it. Stupid boy. Will you stop avoiding me now?”
“I’m not done. You know how I mentioned… that I wanted to look more feminine. I guess it’s because I don’t think I’m exactly a boy.”
Pat cocked his head, trying to understand what Pran was telling him. “Do you feel like a girl then?”
Pran frowned. He opened and closed his mouth as if he was looking for the right words to explain. “Somewhere in between? I do feel like a boy sometimes, but other times, not really. I guess I’m just non-binary.”
“is that why you wanted to try looking feminine? Did you like it?”
“Clearly.”
Pat took Pran’s face in his hands. “Me too. It suits you. All the colors from inside you are on you now.”
“Weirdo. Did you even listen to me? I said I’m non-binary. Does this change anything? I was afraid you’d see me differently.”
“Ay, you’re not getting rid of me that easily. When I said I like all genders, I meant that, you know. And if you’re non-binary now, that means you were always non-binary. I loved you then, so I love you now.”
“You’re so gay.”
Pat laughed and leaned in to kiss Pran’s sparkly lips like he wanted to this whole time.
“You have lip-gloss on you,” Pran said.
“Am I pretty too?”
“As pretty as a clown.”
“You’re so sweet, aren’t you?” Pat challenged while tackling Pran to the ground and tickling him.
He stopped before Pran could surrender, looking serious again. “I should’ve asked you this before, but are you changing your name now? Do you prefer other pronouns… should I even call you a boy? Or my boyfriend?” His face went back to his regular sly expression before he asks: “Will you ever wear a skirt.”
“I like my name. I don’t mind any pronouns, nor do I mind being called anything– especially not your boyfriend. And I was considering it, but not anymore.”
“Aw, why?” Pat whined. “You have nice legs. And it’s easy access to your ass– “
“This is why I can’t have nice things, all because of my pervy boyfriend.”
“Yeah, like you’re not the one that asks me if I’m mad at you when I lay off the ass grabbing once in a while when I'm worried it makes you uncomfortable.”
“That’s not true!” Pran puffed their cheeks, so Pat gave them a kiss. “Ew, the lipgloss feels sticky.”
“Do you want me to remove it for you?”
Pran smiled, thinking back at all the times Pat has used this excuse. “Well, what’s the point of a boyfriend if he can’t even clean my face for me?”
“Exactly. I like taking care of you.” Pat dropped some remover onto a cotton pad and started wiping Pran’s face. “My pretty baby.”
“Stop that. I’m not a baby.”
Pat wiped down the sides of Pran’s cheeks and started working on their nose. “You’re my baby.”
“Whatever helps you sleep at night.” Pran took in the sight of his boyfriend concentrating on removing his makeup. Pat’s satisfied little smile tugged on Pran’s heart strings. They still found it hard to breathe around him sometimes.
Pran noticed Pat drawing a heart on his face, like he did forever ago. “Wait a minute. What did you draw?” Pran asked, feigning ignorance.
“Hm? Just a triangle.” Pran could hear the mischief in Pat’s voice.
“Loser. You’re making fun of me, aren’t you?” Pran tackled Pat to the ground and made themselves comfortable on top of him. They bought their face down to whisper: “Just admit that you’re down bad.”
“We’ve already done this before,” Pat said, breathless. “I think you’re well aware that you drive me insane, or else you wouldn’t be acting like this.”
“Yeah, well. I just like to know that you want me. I like to see your face when you lose too, you know?”
“You’re lucky that I like losing to you.” Pat grabbed his boyfriend– partner– lover by the back of their neck and bought him in for a kiss. He’d never get tired of that.