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Chapter Text

If someone were to ask Soobin who his muse was, he would say that he didn’t know. He preferred to paint still lifes and landscapes over people, finding humans too difficult and complex to understand. However, there was one person that Soobin kept finding his attention drawn to: Choi Yeonjun.

Yeonjun was the star student of their university art class, a senior with a reputation as remarkable as her personality. Her art was striking and colorful, often abstract in appearance and profound in meaning. Once, Yeonjun was asked to paint a self-portrait during an exam, and she simply drew a large ‘X’ on the blank canvas before walking out of the room. That incident made her a campus celebrity among the art students.

The first time that Soobin saw Yeonjun, she was in the middle of painting, slathering paint all over the canvas with her bare hands. A streak of blue was smeared across Yeonjun’s cheek, but she paid no mind to the mess that she was making as she splattered oranges, pinks, and purples across a twilight sky. Soobin had been stunned and slightly unsettled by her careless way of painting, so different from his own.

Yeonjun’s style was a stark contrast to Soobin’s—whereas Yeonjun was all abstract concepts and vibrant colors, Soobin was smooth lines melting away into gentle reality. Yeonjun had a natural talent for art, apparently even having attended an art academy back in elementary school. On the other hand, Soobin had started art relatively late in the game, only beginning to paint during his second year of high school.

Soobin was first inspired when he went on a field trip to an art museum with his school. Originally, Soobin had grumbled along with the rest of his classmates about going to the museum—believing there was a better use of his time than looking at boring art—but then he saw the Water Lilies of Claude Monet. Only a few of the 250 paintings in the series were displayed before him, but Soobin was fascinated by the simple yet careful depiction of the pale pink lilies floating across the still, blue surface of the pond. He had always been interested in photography, often carrying around a polaroid to snap pictures of his friends and family, but this new way of capturing a moment in time called to him. So, Soobin picked up the paintbrush and never turned back.

Now, in his junior year of university, Soobin was still learning new things about art, such as the fact that you could use an earring gun on a canvas. Yeonjun was currently in the act of stapling earrings onto her painting, and each time the crack of the gun echoed throughout the room, Soobin flinched.

“My piece is all about accessories,” Yeonjun declared, her long pink hair tied up to reveal the numerous piercings dangling from her ears. “We use them not only to make ourselves beautiful but to give ourselves personality. Dimension. That’s why these earrings are three-dimensional in contrast to the two-dimensional canvas.”

The entire class oohed and aahed in response, but Soobin only frowned slightly before turning back to his easel. The concept was cool, he would admit, but Yeonjun didn’t have to be so loud about it.

“Isn’t Yeonjun-noona so cool?” Soobin’s best friend, a sophomore named Huening Kai, leaned over and gushed. Soobin’s frown deepened. “Her ideas are always so unique and original!”

“They’re too avant-garde,” Soobin replied, brushing another layer of forest green onto his canvas. “Nobody would understand unless she explains them.”

“You’re just jealous because you’ve never ranked first in the class,” Kai teased.

Each month, their art class had evaluations to check on their progress, and somehow Yeonjun always managed to take first place. Soobin tended to rank somewhere in the middle—not too high and not too low, just average. His professor told Soobin that he needed to take more risks with his art, that he was too comfortable with the mundane. Soobin disagreed. Taking risks could lead to him getting hurt. Like the second time that he had met Yeonjun.

It was a couple of weeks into the semester by then, and Soobin had been in Yeonjun’s vicinity long enough to know that she was generally adored by the student population. She had many hopeful suitors, both male and female, and she often went on dates with several of them. That was why Soobin was shocked to see Yeonjun being turned down, rejected by her supposed crush of the week.

Soobin had only been walking by the courtyard, trying to sneak into his math class and pretend like he’d been there the entire time instead of sleeping in, yet he couldn’t help but overhear the other boy apologizing to Yeonjun.

“I’m sorry,” the boy said. He pulled Yeonjun into a brief hug, murmuring something into her ear before turning and walking away. Yeonjun remained there alone, staring at the ground with her hands balled into fists, and that was when Soobin realized that her hands were shaking. Yeonjun was crying.

Although Soobin didn’t exactly like Yeonjun, his mother had raised him well enough to know that he should never walk away from a crying girl. He stepped forward hesitantly, math class be damned. “Yeonjun-sunbaenim?”

Yeonjun looked up at the sound of her name, and Soobin was shocked to see tears streaming down her cheeks. “Oh, Soobin,” she released a self-deprecating chuckle. “I’m sorry you had to see that.”

“You know my name?” Soobin asked and then internally cursed himself for being so dumb. Yeonjun was literally crying in front of him. How could he make this about himself?

The elder’s mouth quirked into a half-smile. “Of course I do. You’re the one who always paints those beautiful landscapes.”

“Oh, uh-” Soobin’s brain stopped working as he was complimented by the top student in the class, deciding to skip over it completely and focus on the issue at hand. “Are you okay?”

Yeonjun’s smile dropped, and she collapsed onto the bench behind her. “No, not really,” she admitted, wiping her cheeks even as more tears fell. “I was just rejected.”

“I’m- I’m sorry,” Soobin said, still at a loss for words. “But at least he hugged you, right?”

“No!” Yeonjun began to cry even harder, her shoulders shaking with the force of her sobs. “He never would have hugged a girl. He looked at me with a gentle expression and said, ‘You understand I’m straight, right?’ Do you understand what that means? He still sees me as a- as a man!”

Soobin had heard that Yeonjun was transgender, but by the time they met each other, she had already fully transitioned. She always looked so comfortable and confident in her body, tossing that pink hair over her shoulder with a flirtatious smile and sporting designer clothing every day. But now Yeonjun looked small and insecure, as if she wanted to fold in onto herself and disappear.

Soobin didn’t know what to say to make Yeonjun feel better, so instead, he sat down on the bench, remaining silently beside her as she cried. After a moment, Soobin remembered that he had a pack of tissues in his backpack—for whenever he wanted to sketch outside and needed something to smudge his charcoal—and went to dig it out.

“In my opinion,” Soobin said as he offered the tissues to Yeonjun, “if he won’t accept you for who you are, then he doesn’t deserve your tears.”

Yeonjun stared at him in shock, tears still glimmering in her eyes, before suddenly bursting into laughter. Soobin was dumbfounded, watching as the elder bent over in a fit of giggles. Still clutching her stomach, Yeonjun took the pack of tissues from Soobin and wiped her eyes.

“You know, you’re not a bad guy, Soobin,” Yeonjun said, grinning at him. “Thanks.” Then she stood up, taking a moment to run a hand through her hair and fix her clothes before walking away, a slight bounce in her step like nothing had ever happened.

After that incident, Soobin disliked Yeonjun a little less. But she still confused the hell out of him, and he thought it was better to keep his distance. That was why Soobin was perfectly satisfied painting his pretty landscapes in the back corner of the room while Yeonjun dazzled the class with her avant-garde earring gun pieces.

“Alright, class!” Professor Kim clapped his hands together, drawing everyone’s attention away from Yeonjun’s canvas. “Your next assignment will take place in two parts. You’ll be drawing a self-portrait and a portrait of someone else in the class. I’ve randomly assigned the partners this time.” There was a collective groan from the students, and Professor Kim clicked his tongue. “Now, don’t complain. The most important part of being an artist is being able to adapt to your circumstances. I’ll start calling off the pairs one by one.”

Soobin squeezed his eyes shut, praying that Kai would be his partner. It wasn’t that Soobin didn’t get along with the others in the class, but Kai’s style matched Soobin the best. The younger boy used soft colors and whimsical brushstrokes to depict his subjects, often casting them in a playful light. Soobin preferred Kai’s gentle approach to art, it always put his heart at ease.

“Choi Soobin and Choi Yeonjun,” Professor Kim called, and Soobin’s heart immediately sank. Well, shit.

He opened his eyes, meeting Yeonjun’s gaze from across the room. The senior looked delighted, already grabbing her pencils and sketchbook to head toward Soobin’s seat. Soobin could only watch in despair as Kai was paired off with another student named Beomgyu, his friend picking up his stuff to join his partner.

“Now that everyone has their partners, you’ll have one week to complete your self-portrait and two weeks to complete your portrait of the other person,” Professor Kim continued. “This is a good opportunity to learn about your perception of yourself and others, as well as a way to get to know your partner. Please keep this in mind as you paint, and as always, have fun!”

“Soobin,” Yeonjun greeted, her lips curling into a playful, cat-like smile. “It’s been a while.”

“Yeah,” Soobin responded weakly, avoiding her gaze as he looked back at his unfinished painting. He had felt pretty good about the field of red poppies that he was painting before, but now it seemed pale in comparison to the bright pink of Yeonjun’s hair. “How have you been, Yeonjun-sunbae?”

“Oh, please, call me noona. Everyone else does.” Yeonjun waved her hand. “So, Soobin, I know the partner portion of the project isn’t due until three weeks, but I was thinking we should meet up to draw our self-portraits too. The point is to exchange ideas and get to know each other, right?”

Well, it wasn’t like Soobin could deny that. “Alright,” he said, still staring at his canvas.

“Great! Here’s my number. Text me when you’re available this weekend so we can meet up.” Yeonjun held a piece of paper in front of Soobin’s face, and he was forced to turn and look at her to take it. The girl was smiling, her hand still patiently held out to Soobin.

Hesitantly, Soobin took the paper from her. By that time, it was already the end of class, and the other students were beginning to pack up their materials and head out.

“See you, Soobin-ah!” Yeonjun waved, turning with a flourish. Soobin could only watch her walk away, dumbstruck by the elder as always.

---

“I don’t understand Yeonjun!” Soobin complained, flopping back onto his dorm bed. Kai and Taehyun were already curled up together on the bed, moving their legs to make room for him. “She always does whatever she wants without any regard for the rules!”

“Isn’t that the point of art?” Taehyun asked, his head resting against Kai’s shoulder. He was the only one in their friend group who wasn’t an art student, choosing to pursue Applied Mathematics instead. “To break out of the social norms that the world places on us?”

“Well, aren’t you enlightened, Mr. Mathematician?” Soobin said sarcastically.

“Sorry about him,” Kai apologized to Taehyun. “He’s just bitter that he wasn’t partnered with me in Art today.”

Soobin ignored that comment. “Who did you get paired with again?”

“Choi Beomgyu,” Kai replied. “They’re really cool and a friend of Yeonjun’s. Apparently, the two of them met in fashion design class. Did you know that Yeonjun-noona designs outfits too?”

Soobin rolled his eyes. “Wow, so she’s basically a prodigy.”

“I don’t think you’re giving Yeonjun-noona a chance, hyung,” Kai said, and even though Soobin couldn’t see the younger boy from where he was sprawled on the bed, he knew that Kai was frowning. “I know her style is a little off-putting, but she’s really nice. She might help you break out of your comfort zone, you know?”

Turning on his side, Soobin glanced up at Kai and Taehyun. The two of them gazed down at Soobin, looking at him like a child having a temper tantrum even though they were the younger ones. Suddenly, Soobin felt a bit embarrassed by his behavior and sat up properly on the bed.

“Fine,” Soobin sighed. “I’ll text her now.”

Grabbing his phone, Soobin typed in the number on the piece of paper that Yeonjun had given him and sent a quick text. Hey Yeonjun-sunbae, it’s Soobin.

Almost immediately, Yeonjun replied. Hi Soobin-ah! Didn’t I tell you to call me noona? Have you found a time that works for you?

Soobin

How about Saturday at 1 PM?

Yeonjun

That’s perfect. See you then :)

“So?” Kai asked when Soobin finally put his phone down.

“We’re meeting this Saturday to work on the self-portrait together,” Soobin replied, and Kai smiled.

“Now that wasn’t so bad, was it? Good job, Soobinnie.” Kai reached over, petting Soobin’s hair like he was a petulant child. The scream that Kai let out as Soobin lunged for him echoed down the hallway, disturbing the quiet stillness of their dorm.

---

On Saturday, Soobin met Yeonjun in her studio. As a senior art student, Yeonjun had privileges to her own private studio where she could work on her pieces without the distraction of other students coming in and out of the building. Taking a step into the room was like entering Yeonjun’s mind, exposing all of her thought processes as she churned out each masterpiece.

Sketchbooks were stacked haphazardly on the table by the window, a pile of paint-stained rags on the floor beside it. A few unfinished works hung from the wall, each in various stages of progress. In the corner, a mannequin stood wrapped in a white lace dress, pins stuck into the places that Yeonjun still needed to sew together.

“Oh, that?” Yeonjun asked when she saw Soobin staring at the dress. “It’s a project for Fashion Design. The concept is something that makes you despair, and I thought what’s more despairing than having your heart broken? It’s going to be a wedding dress, then I’ll probably throw some fake blood on it to symbolize a bleeding heart or something.”

Soobin couldn’t imagine marring such a beautiful piece with blood, but it wasn’t his art. He had no say in what Yeonjun could and couldn’t do.

“So, Soobin,” Yeonjun began as she cleared pieces of extra fabric off a chair for Soobin to sit on, “have you thought about what you want to do for your self-portrait?”

Soobin was caught off guard. “Uh- I mean- it’s a self-portrait. Don’t you just draw yourself?”

Yeonjun turned to look at him, a sour expression on her face. “You don’t just draw yourself. Self-portraits are an opportunity for an artist to portray how they perceive themselves—what they truly want to express to their audience.” She paused. “Hey, have you ever drawn yourself naked?”

Soobin sputtered, choking on his spit and nearly coughing up a lung in surprise. When he finally managed to catch his breath, he looked back up at Yeonjun with teary eyes. The elder sat across from him, her face completely serious. “N-No,” Soobin admitted. “It’s never crossed my mind.”

“It’s a good chance to learn about yourself. To look at your naked self and show it to others is to accept who you really are. You should try it.” Yeonjun continued to stare at him, her eyes dark and unreadable, and Soobin felt himself beginning to flush under the attention.

“Okay,” Soobin replied through gritted teeth, not wanting to feel inferior to Yeonjun anymore. “I’ll do it. But only if you do it with me,” he said with full knowledge of the ‘X’ incident, hoping that Yeonjun would refuse to draw herself and let him off the hook.

“Fine,” Yeonjun agreed, surprising him. “I have a divider here so you can have some privacy. Let’s get set up.”

Never in a million years did Soobin think he would be stripping down to draw a nude self-portrait with another person, let alone Choi Yeonjun. Yet here he was, staring at himself in the mirror and trying not to shiver from the slight draft in the studio.

Soobin had always been self-conscious of his body, having suddenly shot up to an impressive height in high school and being unable to hide himself anymore. He knew that he was tall, which made everyone expect him to be great at sports, but instead, he was awkward and gangly, not knowing where to put his limbs because he took up so much space all the time. He was lean but not muscular, sometimes even struggling to lift his larger canvases off the ground and onto the easel. Face-wise, he was simply average. Not as handsome as Kai, nor as beautiful as Yeonjun. There was nothing special about him.

“Yeonjun-sunbae,” Soobin spoke up, breaking the silence.

“Hmm?”

“Have you ever drawn yourself nude before?”

Yeonjun laughed. “Plenty of times.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you draw a self-portrait before, not even for the professor.”

“That’s because they all perceive reality as ‘truth.’ They want to know how you perceive yourself, but they also approach the piece with their own preconceived notions of how you should appear. My self-portraits aren’t like that.”

“What are they like?”

“How I would look if I were born a real woman. With breasts and a vagina.”

Soobin paused, stunned. It took a moment for him to find the right words. “You’re still a woman whether you have those parts or not, though.”

Yeonjun laughed again, but this time, it was cold and bitter. “That’s not what other people say. A woman is only determined by her parts. But a starving artist like me can’t afford to get the surgery. I don’t know if I ever will.”

“But you aren’t happy the way you are.” Soobin meant it as a question, but it came out like a statement. He didn’t know when he had gotten so bold.

“I hate my body. Sometimes I just want to rip myself right out of my own skin,” Yeonjun replied. “But my body has also done so much for me. It’s carried me to where I am now, and for that, I’m thankful to it.”

There was another silence as Soobin processed what Yeonjun had said. “It’s funny,” he chuckled, but it was more of an exhale than a laugh. “I was always terrified of you, in a way, because of how confident you seemed. I thought you were the kind of person who never cared about other people’s opinions. I could never be that way.”

“All I ever care about is people’s opinions.” Yeonjun’s voice broke, and Soobin realized then that she was crying. Soobin suddenly had the urge to walk around the divider and wrap his arms around Yeonjun to comfort her, but he also knew that he had not been invited into Yeonjun’s space yet, to see her at her most vulnerable.

“Noona,” Soobin said instead, “it might not be my place to say this, but if people care more about your body than your art, then they’re not worth your time.”

Yeonjun’s laughter rang out across the studio, a bright sound even though it still held an undercurrent of sadness. “See, that’s what I like about you, Soobin. Even though you say you’re not confident, you’re genuine. You see right through the mask. Sometimes, I feel like I’m lying my whole way through life. But with you, I never am.”

Soobin flushed from the compliment, and he saw in the mirror how his cheeks turned pink, a happy glow in his eyes as his lips slowly curved into a smile. He stared at the reflection, not even recognizing himself for a second. Was it really possible for Yeonjun to make him look this way?

Soobin looked back down at his sketchbook, focusing on his self-portrait again. “Thanks, noona,” he said, and he really meant it. “I think I understand a little bit better now.”

“Of course, Soobin-ah,” Yeonjun replied. “Anytime.”

Chapter Text

“Well done, Soobin,” Professor Kim said, putting the canvas back down. He was smiling, signature dimples popping out of his cheeks which meant that he was truly pleased. It had been a long time since Soobin had seen them. “I can tell you pushed yourself out of your comfort zone with this nude self-portrait. But your work has definitely improved because of it.”

The self-portrait that Soobin had painted lay on the table between them, exposing his nakedness for the world to see. It was a depiction of his torso, bathed in deep ocean blue. It wasn’t a particularly beautiful piece, highlighting the soft folds of skin around his stomach and the prominent veins running down his arms. It was ugly, really, but it was the truth. Soobin’s truth.

“What about Yeonjun?” Soobin asked, and the question even caught him off guard as it came out of his mouth. “Did she turn in anything?”

“No,” Professor Kim sighed, shaking his head. “Yeonjun chooses to opt out of the self-portrait assignments. I prepared another prompt for her instead, so it doesn’t impact her grade. But don’t worry, she should cooperate with you on the second part of the assignment.”

Soobin nodded in response, but that wasn’t the reason why he was asking. Yeonjun had actually drawn a self-portrait when they were together in the studio, and she had even shown it to Soobin at the end. It was a drawing of her head and shoulders, strategically cut off where her chest would begin. Yeonjun’s long hair fell into her face, covering one eye. The other eye stared back at the viewer, dark and sorrowful. A single tear like a glittering diamond dripped down her cheek, frozen in time so that it would never dry.

It was one of the rawest pieces that Soobin ever had seen from Yeonjun, and, for the first time, he thought that it truly deserved first place in the class. It was a shame that no one else would see the drawing, but Soobin felt honored that Yeonjun had chosen to show it to him. He would keep the piece close to his heart, even if he could never see it again.

“Thank you, Professor Kim,” Soobin said, bowing his head. Collecting his canvas, he left the check-in room and headed back into the main classroom. When Soobin sat down in his seat beside Kai, the younger boy glanced at him out of the corner of his eye.

“You’re suspiciously quiet today,” Kai remarked. “I thought you would have been complaining my ear off about working with Yeonjun-noona by now.”

Soobin hummed in response, setting his canvas on the easel. He just had a few finishing touches that he wanted to add before turning in the self-portrait at the end of class. “She’s not as bad as I thought,” he said, mixing his paintbrush with a bit of cerulean blue.

When Kai didn’t respond, Soobin turned to look at him. The other boy had a knowing smile on his face.

“What?” Soobin asked, irked. “It doesn’t mean I like her now or anything.”

“Sure,” Kai said indulgently, turning toward his own canvas. Kai’s self-portrait was a side profile, highlighting the slope of his nose and his strong jawline. His eyes were closed and his head was tilted upward as if basking in the glow of warm sunlight, the whole painting cast in cadmium yellow.

For the rest of the two-hour period, Soobin worked on his self-portrait and was fairly pleased with the final result. As Soobin was gathering his materials off the ground, he saw a pair of chunky black boots come to a stop in front of him. Looking up, Soobin caught sight of Yeonjun standing there, her bag slung over one shoulder as she waited for him.

“Yeonjun-noona,” Soobin acknowledged her.

“Hi, Soobin. Hey, Kai,” Yeonjun greeted Soobin before nodding at Kai too. “Soobin, I was wondering if you have class after this? I want to discuss our plan for the partner portraits.”

“Uh, no,” Soobin said dumbly, and he vaguely thought he heard Kai snicker beside him. “I should be free.”

“Great! Let’s go to the campus coffee shop then?” Yeonjun asked, making it sound like Soobin had a choice. Yet he knew that if he turned her down right now, he would never hear the end of it from Kai.

“Sure,” Soobin sighed, picking up his bag. As he followed Yeonjun out the door, Soobin glanced over his shoulder and saw Kai waving at both of them cheerfully.

“Good luck!” Kai chirped, and Soobin glared at him before turning back around.

The two of them walked to the coffee shop in silence—Soobin was unsure of what to say, but Yeonjun seemed content to simply take in her surroundings, humming to herself underneath her breath. When they reached the door, Soobin opened it and took a step back, allowing Yeonjun to enter first.

“Why, aren’t you a gentleman?” Yeonjun teased, but she graciously accepted his attempt at being polite and entered the building.

They went up to the counter together, and Soobin ordered his usual—a caramel macchiato. When Yeonjun ordered a mint chocolate mocha, Soobin’s nose wrinkled in disgust.

“What?” Yeonjun said defensively. “It’s good!”

“Maybe if you like the taste of toothpaste…” Soobin muttered, and Yeonjun sniffed haughtily.

“I do, in fact, love to keep my teeth clean. Unlike you, who apparently hates the taste of toothpaste,” Yeonjun countered, laughing when Soobin made a disgruntled face.

After grabbing their drinks from the counter, Soobin and Yeonjun finally slid into a booth across from one another. Pulling out his sketchbook, Soobin stared at the blank page for a few moments before looking back up at Yeonjun. “I’m not even sure where to start.”

“Well,” Yeonjun said, “let’s start easy. Who is your inspiration?”

“Claude Monet,” Soobin answered immediately. “His art was the reason why I started painting. I love the Impressionists, the way they portray the passage of time in their art. They understand that time is fleeting, which is why we have to appreciate the simple moments in life before they’re gone forever.”

Yeonjun smiled, resting her chin on one hand. “I can see that. The Impressionist style is very fitting for you.”

“What about you? Who is your inspiration?”

Yeonjun’s face turned thoughtful, and she tapped the end of her pencil against her lips for a moment before answering. “A lot of people probably think that I’m inspired by Surrealism, like Dalí, or Abstract Expressionism, like Pollock. Their art is great—don’t get me wrong—but it’s not what draws my attention. I actually love Picasso’s Blue Period the most. There’s something so somber and melancholic about it all, the way that he tries to capture the true despair of life. We can’t have happiness without suffering, and I think Picasso really tried to convey that in his works during the time.”

Soobin was stunned, never having imagined that Yeonjun would pick such a somber period as her favorite. The elder kept doing this, surprising Soobin with every answer and revealing more and more complexities in her character. His hand was starting to itch, getting that artistic impulse to draw something in order to better understand it. He couldn’t wait to begin Yeonjun’s portrait, to map her out in lines and colors.

“Do you have a specific way that you want to be portrayed?” Soobin asked, and this time it was Yeonjun’s turn to look surprised.

“I don’t think the subject has any say on how they’re portrayed,” Yeonjun replied, sounding doubtful.

“Of course you do,” Soobin insisted. “The painting is about you. You should have agency over how you’re portrayed, subject or not.”

Yeonjun’s features were shocked for a moment longer before they relaxed, another smile slowly spreading across her face. “You should be able to paint however you want,” she finally said. “But I only have one request. I want to know how you really see me, Soobin.”

Soobin grinned back at Yeonjun, a glint in his eye. “Challenge accepted.”

When Soobin returned to his dorm room that evening, Taehyun was already there, lounging on his bed. He didn’t ask how Taehyun had gotten in, the younger boy somehow always found a way into Soobin’s room even though the elder was pretty sure that he locked it in the morning before he left. Soobin had a slight suspicion that Taehyun had made a spare of his dorm key when he wasn’t looking.

“You’re smiling,” Taehyun said, glancing up from the textbook he was reading. “Hyuka mentioned that something good happened to you today.”

“Good?” Soobin asked, trying to tame his features into something neutral. “I wouldn’t say it was good. I just met with Yeonjun-noona to talk about our art project.”

“You’re calling her noona now,” Taehyun noted, ever the observant one.

“I-I mean, she told me to, so why wouldn’t I, right?” Soobin stuttered, suddenly feeling like he was being attacked in his own home.

“When are you meeting up with her again?”

“Um, probably this weekend. The assignment isn’t due for another two weeks, and I have to finish my other work before I can start my painting,” Soobin said. “Why are you interrogating me all of a sudden? Don’t you have homework to do?”

“I finished all my homework for this week. This is next week’s work,” Taehyun replied, and Soobin sighed as he dropped his two-ton backpack into his desk chair.

“Well, since you have so much time on your hands, do you want to watch the next episode of Squid Game with me? I’m looking for excuses to procrastinate from the rest of my homework tonight,” Soobin asked, already pulling his laptop out of his bag.

Taehyun smiled, closing his textbook and scooting over to make room for Soobin on the bed. “Of course, hyung.”

---

“So how do you want me?” Yeonjun asked, shrugging off her jacket and throwing it onto an unoccupied chair. Soobin and Yeonjun were back in the senior’s studio, preparing to begin their portraits of each other. The studio had changed since Soobin visited the week before, some of the unfinished pieces on the wall were replaced with new charcoal sketches, and the gorgeous wedding dress was replaced with a one-shoulder black dress cinched together with a leather garter belt.

“Um, over there?” Soobin pointed to the chaise lounge over by the window. He figured that Yeonjun used it while drawing as a more comfortable alternative to the stiff-backed chairs that they typically had to use in the classroom.

Yeonjun smirked at him, a glint in her eye. “Oh, are you going to paint me like one of your French girls?” she teased.

Soobin’s face turned hot, and he rushed to correct her. “N-No! Please sit down.”

Yeonjun strode over to the lounge, taking a seat before crossing her legs and looking at Soobin expectantly. Her long legs were accentuated by her high-waisted jeans, and she wore an off-the-shoulder white blouse on top, exposing her collarbones. When Yeonjun stretched her arms over her head, Soobin caught a sliver of her bare waist and swallowed hard. He quickly looked away, busying himself with collecting his supplies.

Dragging over a stool, Soobin set up his easel in front of the chaise. He wanted to capture Yeonjun in profile, deciding that it would highlight her natural beauty the best. After examining Yeonjun for a moment longer, Soobin finally decided on a pose.

“Can you turn and sit lengthwise on the chaise?” he asked, and Yeonjun did so. “Then draw your legs up and turn toward the window, like you’re thinking?”

“This is a very traditional pose,” Yeonjun commented, but she obeyed anyway.

Soobin shrugged, already beginning to sketch out the basic lines and curves of her figure. “You already know I’m a bit of a traditionalist when it comes to art.”

“I don’t think so. What makes you say that?”

“Professor Kim told me that I need to take more risks with my art—that I play it too safe and don’t step outside of my comfort zone enough.”

“That’s not necessarily a bad thing,” Yeonjun replied. “There’s something soothing about your art. You look at it, and you can instantly recognize what it is. It’s comforting in a way, to fall back on the familiar rather than the unknown. I have the opposite problem. Professor Kim told me that sometimes I try too hard to test the limits and lose the meaning in the process.”

“Really? But you always place first in the class during evaluations.”

“Just because I’m good doesn’t mean I can’t improve. We always have the potential to grow,” Yeonjun said, and it wasn’t like Soobin could deny that.

They fell into a comfortable silence as Soobin continued to sketch, while Yeonjun occasionally shifted to stretch or craned her neck if there was something particularly interesting happening outside. Soobin always lost track of time while making art—his surroundings blurred into the background, the only thing that existed was him and the canvas in these moments.

As Soobin’s hands moved, his mind whirled with thoughts. What was the best way to portray Yeonjun? How could he represent the complexities of her character that she had revealed to him during these past few days? A brighter highlight here, a darker shadow there…

At one point, Soobin glanced up to check Yeonjun’s pose and found that she had turned her head, watching him with a small smile. “What?” he asked, feeling his cheeks begin to heat up under the attention.

“Nothing.” Yeonjun shook her head, the smile still on her face. “I just like watching you draw. You always look so passionate, like you’re pouring your entire heart into the piece.”

“Are you not the same?”

“I never lose my passion,” Yeonjun said. “But sometimes I struggle to find the beauty in things. You never seem that way. Everything is a flower to you, waiting to bloom.”

Soobin set his pencil down, focusing all of his attention on Yeonjun. “Noona, I don’t think you give yourself enough credit. Your art is beautiful in a very raw and real way. You spill your entire self onto the canvas, entrusting it to the viewer. That takes a lot of bravery.”

Yeonjun looked away, but Soobin thought he caught sight of her bottom lip trembling in the sunlight. “Thanks, Soobin-ah,” she said, barely a whisper.

“Anytime, noona,” Soobin replied wholeheartedly.

---

The rest of the afternoon passed by quickly as Soobin finished the basic sketch of Yeonjun. He offered to model for Yeonjun too, but she turned him down, saying that it wasn’t necessary. She apparently already had enough material to begin her piece. They parted ways then, and Soobin left Yeonjun alone in her studio as she continued to stare out the window, deep in thought.

The next time that Soobin found himself in front of Yeonjun, it was during art class as he looked at a version of her on his canvas. Soobin was mixing paint together on his palette, trying to create the perfect honey color of Yeonjun’s skin, when he felt a sudden presence by his easel. By the looks of the black T-shirt layered over a checkered long sleeve and the silver chain necklace, it was most definitely not Yeonjun. Glancing over, Soobin caught sight of a person with long, dark hair streaked with blonde staring back at him, hands on their hips.

“Oh, Beomgyu-hyung!” Kai exclaimed from beside Soobin. “What are you doing over here? I haven’t been able to work on your portrait yet.”

“Hi, Kai,” the person, who was apparently Beomgyu, said. “Don’t worry about it, I’m actually not here for you. I’m here for Soobin.”

“Me?” Soobin’s eyebrows raised. “Also, aren’t I older than you? Shouldn’t you call me hyung?”

“Maybe if you earn it,” Beomgyu retorted. “I’m here to check out your painting of Yeonjun-noona.”

Glancing at his mostly unfinished canvas, Soobin felt himself growing nervous. “I’ve barely even started. There isn’t much to look at yet.”

Beomgyu crossed their arms, appraising the painting. “Oh, there’s plenty to see here. Look, the way you cast the shadow here does a good job of capturing noona’s interiority, but it doesn’t do justice to her facial structure. Add a bit of light here instead, and you’ll highlight the slope of her nose much better.”

Examining the painting, Soobin found that Beomgyu was right. He made an internal note to add more light in that spot when he worked on it next. “Thanks,” Soobin begrudgingly said. “But are you just here to critique my painting or is there something else?”

“Not really.” Beomgyu shrugged. “I’m just making sure noona is in good hands.”

“Wait, what do you mean?” Soobin asked, but Beomgyu was already walking back toward their seat beside Yeonjun, calling the senior’s name and waving to her. Soobin looked at Kai, bewildered. “Do you know what that was about? Beomgyu’s your partner after all.”

Kai shrugged, a mysterious smile on his face. “They say that painting is a form of falling in love,” he said cryptically, turning back to his canvas and beginning to outline the figure of Beomgyu in dark gray.

Even though he was also an artist, Soobin still wasn’t sure that he understood.

Chapter Text

Soobin stood in front of the door, hesitating. He wasn’t sure why he was so nervous, he was only asking for a simple favor. Yet his heart continued to race regardless. Taking a deep breath, Soobin lifted his hand and knocked on the door of Yeonjun’s studio.

“Come in!” Yeonjun called, and Soobin took a step through the threshold. The senior was sitting in front of a canvas, her hair tied up into a messy bun and a pencil tucked behind her ear. She wore a pair of black glasses that turned her sharp, feline-like eyes soft. “Oh, Soobinnie, hi! I hope you’re not here to try and sneak a peek at your portrait. You know I want it to be a surprise.”

Shaking his head, Soobin paused to allow Yeonjun to cover the canvas before taking a few steps closer. “No, that’s not it. I just need to ask a favor. I, uh, need to see your hair.” When Yeonjun raised an eyebrow, Soobin spluttered, realizing how weird he sounded. “I-I mean-! I’m struggling to get the right shade of pink for your portrait! Because it seems like your hair changes color all the time!”

Yeonjun covered her mouth, trying to hide her smile as she giggled. “I see… I am experimenting with new colors all the time.” Only a few weeks ago, Yeonjun’s hair was a striking hot pink. Now, it seemed to be more of a cotton candy pink, streaked with hints of blonde and baby blue. Soobin had agonized over the color for hours the other day while painting Yeonjun’s portrait before finally admitting to himself that he needed to consult the subject herself.

Taking the pencil out from behind her ear, Yeonjun set it on the easel before reaching up and releasing her hair from the bun. It fell down around her shoulders in soft waves, appearing like a cascading waterfall glinting with light and color. Soobin found himself wanting to reach out and touch it, but he held himself back.

Running a hand through those silky strands, Yeonjun asked, “Soobin, have you ever dyed your hair?”

Soobin looked at her with wide eyes, shaking his head. “No, never. I was always too afraid to. Doesn’t the bleach do awful things to your hair?”

Yeonjun shrugged. “I can’t deny that it ruins the quality. But isn’t it pretty? It’s a little bit like turning your body into a work of art, if only temporarily.” She paused, appraising Soobin for a moment. “You would look nice with blue hair, it matches your calm vibe.”

“Did you do that yourself?” Soobin asked, gesturing toward Yeonjun’s hair.

She nodded. “I just bought bleach and some hair dye at the drugstore. I’ve been dyeing my hair for so long that I’d rather do it myself than spend a ton of money getting it done.”

“Okay,” Soobin said, but Yeonjun just looked at him, uncomprehending. “Okay,” he repeated, “you can dye my hair.” They stared at each other for a moment in shock—Soobin unable to believe that he had really just agreed to Yeonjun dyeing his hair while Yeonjun’s face broke out into a delighted grin.

“Really?” She sounded elated, as if someone had just given Yeonjun her favorite candy.

“Really,” Soobin laughed, Yeonjun’s pure joy further cementing his decision. “Why not? Everybody is always telling me to take more risks anyway.”

Yeonjun stood up quickly, untying her artist apron and throwing it onto the ground behind her. “Oh my god, yes! You have the afternoon free, right? We can go to the drugstore right now and get the supplies. We’ll do it at my apartment!”

Grabbing Soobin’s hand, Yeonjun didn’t give the boy a chance to respond before she was dragging him out of the studio toward her car. Tossing her stuff into the backseat, Yeonjun gestured to Soobin to do the same before sliding into the driver’s seat. She started the car as Soobin took the seat beside her, still trying to process what was happening.

The next thing he knew, they were in the drugstore, picking out the perfect shade of blue dye. Yeonjun held up a bottle of dye next to Soobin, squinting as she tried to imagine what it would look like on him. “No, this is a little too dark.” Picking up another box, Yeonjun nodded. “This one is perfect! It’s the same shade I used for my highlights. You’ll match me now.”

With a wink and a teasing smile, she walked past Soobin toward the checkout counter. When Yeonjun began to pull out her wallet, Soobin protested. “Wait, noona, you shouldn’t pay for this. It was my idea after all.”

Yeonjun shook her head, brushing him off. “Let noona do this for you. It’s to celebrate your first time dyeing your hair!”

Then they were on their way to Yeonjun’s apartment, the senior pulling up beside a small apartment complex. Soobin looked up at the building, taking in its unassuming appearance. It was clearly the residence of a broke university student.

“Wait, do you live alone?” Soobin asked as they began ascending the stairs.

“Yeah,” Yeonjun replied. “Although I basically have a roommate with how often Beomgyu comes around.” She unlocked the door, letting them into the apartment.

“And your parents are okay with it? My parents would have a heart attack thinking I’d burn down my apartment trying to cook.”

“I, ah, don’t really talk to my parents anymore,” Yeonjun said, her voice sounding a bit strained.

“Oh.” Soobin faltered. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“It’s okay.” Yeonjun waved him off. “It’s been a few years. I’ve accepted it now. What’s your family like?”

“Um, I have an older sister and an older brother. I’m the youngest.”

“Aw, how cute!” Yeonjun cooed. “I can definitely see that. You seem like the type of person who was well-loved as a kid.” She grabbed a chair from a table by the kitchen, carrying it into the small bathroom down the hallway. Setting the chair up in front of the bathroom sink, Yeonjun pointed at it and Soobin sat down without protest.

“Alright, first we need to bleach your hair. Since your hair is dark, we’ll have to let it sit for a while. It might burn a bit, but don’t worry. It’s completely normal.”

Soobin blanched at the last few words, suddenly regretting his decision. “Can I change my mind?” he asked tentatively.

“Nope!” Yeonjun chirped, her lips popping at the end of the word. She began pulling on a pair of plastic gloves. “I already bought the supplies for you. You don’t want to turn down your noona’s generous gift, do you?”

Draping a towel over Soobin’s shoulders, Yeonjun poured the bleach and the developer into a small container before mixing it. Then she was dipping the brush into the mixture and painting it onto Soobin’s hair, leaving him no more opportunities to turn back.

As Yeonjun worked on Soobin’s hair, they chatted about art class and their classmates. Soobin told Yeonjun about his encounter with Beomgyu the other day, hoping that she might be able to explain her friend’s strange behavior.

“Aish,” Yeonjun said, affection seeping into her tone. “Beomgyu-yah is always trying to look out for me even when I don’t need their help. They met me when I was going through a really rough time, having just come out as trans to my parents. I’d already started the process of transitioning, but even so, it took them by surprise. It’s hard to accept that your son isn’t only gay but also a girl. I guess they just couldn’t handle it. Beomgyu took care of me a lot during that period.

“I apologize for their behavior earlier. Beomgyu is a really kind person, they might just not be sure about your intentions. But I know you’re a good person, right, Soobinnie?” Yeonjun reached out, pinching Soobin’s cheek and grinning when he pouted. “Okay, the bleach is done. I’ll set a timer for 30 minutes, and then we’ll wash it out.”

Yeonjun covered Soobin’s hair with a shower cap, laughing at his disgruntled face before leading them back out into the living room. Looking around, Soobin noticed various pieces of art hanging on the walls, ranging from classical to modern in style. In particular, a framed print of The Kiss stood out to him, the golden color of the painting catching Soobin’s eye.

“Oh, I didn’t know you were a fan of Gustav Klimt!” Soobin exclaimed.

Yeonjun nodded, coming to stand beside Soobin and looking at the piece with him. “Klimt was fascinated with the female body, primarily choosing women as his subjects. I can kind of understand him—there’s something so captivating and powerful about femininity. That’s why so many people are terrified of women, they possess so much untapped potential. But this one is my favorite because of the sheer love radiating from it. You can really tell the man worships his lover.”

Soobin glanced over at Yeonjun, taking in her expression. There was a glimmer of deep emotion in her eyes, tinged with both longing and sadness. She looked as if she desperately yearned for that kind of love, but it would forever be out of her reach. He felt his heart tighten in his chest.

As if trying to escape whatever emotion had overtaken her, Yeonjun shook her head before turning toward Soobin and offering him a small smile. “There’s still a few minutes left before we can wash out the bleach. Do you want something to eat?”

They ate a small snack before heading back into the bathroom, Yeonjun instructing Soobin to rinse out his hair underneath the showerhead and condition it. Then he was back in the chair, watching in the mirror as Yeonjun began painting on the first coat of blue dye. There was something so soothing about watching the senior work, as if Soobin was Yeonjun’s canvas and she was turning him into a masterpiece of her own.

Suddenly, Soobin felt a strong desire to see Yeonjun’s portrait of him. How did she view him? Was Soobin just a boring painter who was still stuck in his traditional ways? Or was he a cute dongsaeng now, someone that Yeonjun would affectionately call her little brother? Or could he be something more, someone who could heed the call of the voice who cried out from her paintings? Soobin bit down on his bottom lip, preventing himself from blurting out his desire to know what Yeonjun truly thought of him.

“Okay, I’m going to ask you something really weird.” Yeonjun’s voice broke Soobin out of his thoughts. “I need to make sure that I didn’t miss any spots so, um, can I sit in your lap? I promise I don’t mean anything weird about it, I swear! It just gives me a better angle to see!”

Soobin felt all of the heat in his body rushing to his cheeks, but somehow, he found himself nodding in agreement. With a small ‘excuse me,’ Yeonjun was straddling Soobin’s lap. As Yeonjun leaned over him, her long hair brushed against Soobin’s cheek, and he caught a whiff of her peach-scented shampoo. He suddenly felt very light-headed.

Yeonjun continued to paint Soobin’s hair, her fingers carding through his strands and nearly lulling him to sleep. At one point, Yeonjun shifted above him and yelped as she nearly slipped off the chair. Soobin’s hands immediately came up to grab Yeonjun, holding her waist to steady her, and he heard her breath hitch. Glancing up, Soobin saw Yeonjun blush for the first time ever.

Her cheeks were a light pink, matching the color of her hair, and her lips were slightly parted in surprise as she stared at Soobin. His eyes were drawn to her mouth, suddenly very interested in the shape of her pouty lips. They stared at each other for a long moment, the air thick and heavy between them. Yeonjun leaned in, and Soobin thought that she was going to kiss him. And he didn’t completely hate the idea. But then she moved past his face, painting the brush over a spot that she had missed by his temple.

The moment was broken, and Soobin felt all the tension rush out of his body, leaving an emotion almost like disappointment behind. Yet he didn’t have time to dwell on the feeling before Yeonjun was pulling away, slipping off his lap and standing back up.

“Alright,” Yeonjun said as if nothing had happened. “I’m done. We have to wait for another 30 or 45 minutes for the dye to set and then we can wash it out. Have you seen the show Vincenzo?” When Soobin shook his head, still unable to speak, Yeonjun continued, “Let’s watch the first episode together. That should pass the time.”

She peeled off her gloves, tossing them in the trash before heading out of the bathroom, leaving Soobin dumbfounded as always.

Soobin returned to his room that evening, exhausted and confused. He and Yeonjun had watched an episode of Vincenzo before returning to the bathroom, where Yeonjun washed the dye out of Soobin’s hair and revealed a gorgeous sky blue color. Nodding in satisfaction, Yeonjun deemed her work complete and congratulated herself. Then she had dropped Soobin off at his dorm, bidding him goodnight before driving off.

When Soobin opened his dorm door, both Taehyun and Kai were already occupying his bed, watching a show on Kai’s laptop.

Kai’s mouth dropped open as he screeched, “Who are you and what have you done with Soobin-hyung?!”

“Nice color, hyung,” Taehyun said, a little calmer than his counterpart.

“Where were you all afternoon?” Kai demanded.

“Ah, it’s a long story.” Soobin scratched the back of his neck sheepishly, his scalp still burning from the aftereffects of the bleach. “But basically, I was at Yeonjun-noona’s apartment.”

Both Taehyun and Kai’s eyebrows shot up so high that Soobin was worried they would have to find a spaceship to retrieve them.

“Oh,” Kai’s voice immediately shifted tones. “And she did this to you?”

“I asked her to,” Soobin said a bit defensively. “I went to ask her how to paint the shade of pink that she dyed her hair for the portrait, and it somehow turned into dyeing my own hair.”

“And did you learn anything new?” Taehyun encouraged, sounding a bit eager himself.

“Yeah,” Soobin sighed. “I learned that I’m absolutely fucked.”

Chapter Text

Soobin nibbled on the end of his paintbrush as he stared at the canvas, trying to decide on what shade to make the background. What would bring out the color of Yeonjun’s hair the best? It was hard for Soobin to focus right now with the newfound realization that he maybe, possibly, liked Yeonjun but also because said person kept glancing at Soobin from across the room.

Yeonjun was trying her best to be subtle about it, but it was hard not to notice since their seats were directly across from each other. Soobin had chosen this spot at the beginning of the semester because it was as far away from Yeonjun as possible, but now it was like unlimited access to the world’s prettiest distraction.

The next time that Yeonjun glanced over at Soobin, he caught her eye, and she quickly looked away, a light blush coloring her cheeks. Yeonjun ducked behind her easel as if trying to hide and pretend that nothing had happened. Finally deciding that he had enough of this little game, Soobin stood up from his seat and began to walk across the room. From beside Yeonjun, Beomgyu noticed Soobin approaching and leaned over, whispering something furiously to her. She looked back up, her eyes wide.

“S-Soobin!” Yeonjun exclaimed, standing up and covering the canvas with her body. “Didn’t I tell you no spoilers?”

“Don’t worry, I won’t look,” Soobin reassured her. “I actually came to ask you if you could come with me this afternoon to buy new shampoo? I still don’t really understand this whole dyed hair thing.” He gestured to his newly blue hair.

“Oh, okay. Meet me after class?”

“Sure.” Soobin smiled. “Oh, and you have some paint on your face, noona.” He reached out, wiping a streak of blue off Yeonjun’s cheek with his thumb before turning away, leaving her flustered and speechless.

“What was that about?” Kai asked when Soobin sat back down, the realization of what he just did suddenly hitting him and making him bury his face in his hands. “Yeonjun-noona looks like she’s going to pass out.”

“I don’t know,” Soobin said, his voice muffled by his hands. “I just wanted to ask her why she kept staring at me and then she just looked so cute when she was flustered that I couldn’t help myself.”

“That sounds like a crush~” Kai sang as he layered more paint onto his canvas.

Soobin groaned. “Yeah, me and the rest of the campus.”

“I don’t know,” Kai replied. “A little birdy told me that noona might have taken a liking to you.”

Lifting his head, Soobin stared at the painted version of Yeonjun in front of him and frowned. “Yeah, she sees me as a cute dongsaeng who follows her around like a lost puppy.”

Kai clicked his tongue, turning to face Soobin. “Don’t be so hard on yourself, hyung,” he chided, expression serious. “There’s a lot that’s special about you. I’m sure Yeonjun-noona can see that too.”

“Yeah, well, none of it will matter if I can’t even tell her how I feel,” Soobin said miserably. Shaking his head, Soobin decided to change the subject and pointed at one of the paints lying beside Kai. “Hey, can you pass me that blue? I think I’ve decided on the background color.”

Once class ended, Soobin met up with Yeonjun and they got into her car before driving to the drugstore. Soobin was hyperaware of her presence the entire time, his nerves keeping him on edge, but it seemed like Yeonjun had gotten over her earlier shyness and settled into her usual playful self.

“So this one time, Beomgyu and I decided that we were going to paint while blindfolded. But Beomgyu had this ‘ingenious’ idea of making us spin around before we started—supposedly to disorient us even more. Except then neither of us could find the canvas and ended up getting paint all over my apartment. I was sooo mad! Luckily, I was able to get most of it off, but I had to repaint the walls before my landlord saw.” Yeonjun chuckled at the memory, a fond smile on her face, and Soobin could feel the warmth of it even from his spot in the passenger seat.

“What about you?” Yeonjun asked, and when Soobin shot her a confused look, she continued, “You seem close to Kai. How did you two meet?”

Now it was Soobin’s turn to smile as he reminisced. “It was the beginning of my sophomore year. I was heading to the art studio, and I saw this little freshman walking around, looking completely lost. He asked me for help finding his classroom, and it turned out that he was in the same class as me. I was skeptical at first since it was an advanced art class, but when I saw him paint, I was really impressed. He definitely deserved to be there. Hyuka offered to take me out to lunch as thanks for helping him, and that’s how I met my other best friend, Taehyun. They were childhood friends who enrolled in university together.”

“That sounds nice,” Yeonjun said. “I’d love to meet Taehyun one day.”

“Hopefully, you will,” Soobin replied wholeheartedly.

Yeonjun pulled into the parking lot of the drugstore, and they entered together. It took little to no time for Yeonjun to find the right shampoo and conditioner, lecturing Soobin about rinsing his hair with cold water to keep the color in longer. As they were standing in line waiting to check out, Soobin suddenly found himself disappointed that their trip was ending so soon.

“Hey,” Soobin began, “I know of a really good bingsu place near here. Do you want to go?”

Yeonjun turned to look at him, her eyes widening in surprise. But her lips soon curved into a pleased smile. “Sure,” she said, “I’d love to.”

That was how Soobin found himself sitting across from Yeonjun in the bingsu parlor, arguing that art students shouldn’t need to take the math requirement. “Like, I know that they say ‘geometry is a form of art’ but let’s be real, how often do you whip out the protractor while drawing? Never! And for the other maths, if I need to find the sum of something then I can just use a calculator!”

In the midst of his rant, Soobin became so passionate that he flung his hands out, accidentally knocking the spoon out of his bingsu. The utensil went flying across the table, splattering Yeonjun’s face with shaved ice in the process. The elder flinched in surprise, eyes screwed shut as fruit syrup dripped down her face. She reached out, blindly groping the table for a napkin.

“Oh my god, noona. I am so sorry!” Soobin gasped, mortified. He put his hand over Yeonjun’s, stopping her from accidentally knocking over her own bingsu, before standing up and grabbing a clean napkin.

Holding Yeonjun’s chin between two fingers, Soobin tilted the elder’s face up before gently wiping the syrup off her face. As Soobin looked down, searching Yeonjun’s face, his attention was drawn to the way that her long eyelashes brushed against her cheek and her lips were pushed out in a slight pout. An overwhelming urge to kiss Yeonjun overcame Soobin, and he swallowed hard, holding himself back. It wasn’t fair to take advantage of Yeonjun like that, and besides, he didn’t know how she felt about him.

Yeonjun’s eyes fluttered open, meeting Soobin’s gaze, and he suddenly became aware of the position they were in. Blushing hard, Soobin abruptly pulled away and sat back down in his seat.

“You- you should be good as new,” Soobin stammered, trying not to expose the fact that he had been this close to kissing Yeonjun. “I’m so sorry about that.”

“It’s okay,” Yeonjun chuckled, licking the remnants of sweet syrup from her lips. “I like seeing you when you’re that passionate. It’s different from the way you are when you paint. It’s cute.”

“Uh.” Soobin was at a loss for words, but Yeonjun moved on before he could acknowledge what she had just said. They wrapped up the afternoon quickly after that, finishing their bingsu before Yeonjun dropped Soobin off at his dorm. As Soobin waved to Yeonjun while she drove away, he knew that he had a lot of thinking to do. So, as always, he turned to the canvas.

---

Wiping his forehead, Soobin sat back from the canvas, examining his finished portrait of Yeonjun. He had worked on it all day and night for three days straight, driven by the need to process his feelings about the elder. Now, the answer sat in front of him, displayed for the world to see. It was embarrassing in its obviousness, but at the same time, it was a relief to finally have a clear answer.

Picking up his phone, Soobin snapped a photo of the painting and sent it to Kai. His phone buzzed shortly after with a response.

Hyuka

It’s gorgeous!!! Yeonjun-noona is going to love it <3

Soobin

You’re sure it’s not too cheesy?

Hyuka

Noona loves romantic stuff like this. It’s perfect, I promise

Reassured, Soobin packed up his supplies before leaving the painting to dry. He couldn’t wait to show it to Yeonjun.

A few days later, Soobin was back in Yeonjun’s studio, standing beside his covered canvas. Yeonjun and Soobin had agreed to meet before class to show each other what they painted, wanting to present the portraits in a more private setting first. Soobin was nearly dying of curiosity, wondering what Yeonjun had painted of him. The senior had been incredibly secretive during the entire process, not revealing any ideas or allowing Soobin to see any of her progress. Now, with the canvas standing before him, everything that Yeonjun thought about Soobin was about to be revealed.

“Well, who wants to go first?” Yeonjun asked, running a hand through her hair. If Soobin had known her a little better, he might even say that she was nervous.

“Um, you can go first,” Soobin replied. “You’re the senior, after all.”

Yeonjun rolled her eyes. “Don’t you pull the age card on me now. But fine.” Reaching out, she grabbed the sheet covering the portrait and pulled it away.

A version of Soobin looked back at him from the canvas—Yeonjun’s Soobin. The painting captured him from the front, sitting as if in front of an easel. One hand was raised, holding a paintbrush as Soobin painted an invisible masterpiece, while the other gripped a palette full of pastel pinks and blues. Yeonjun had even painted his hair sky blue to match. But what stood out to Soobin the most was his expression, looking at the subject in awe. His eyes were wide, nearly sparkling with wonder, and a slight flush colored his cheeks pink. His lips were slightly parted, revealing his bunny teeth. Soobin looked as if he were gazing at the most beautiful thing in the world.

“Ah, let me clarify,” Yeonjun spoke up, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “I don’t want to be pretentious. The subject isn’t necessarily me. I just liked the way you looked while you were drawing that one time.”

“No, noona.” Soobin shook his head. “Don’t undermine yourself. This portrait is gorgeous. You captured exactly what I was feeling at that moment. And you didn’t even need a reference sketch? That’s amazing. You’re amazing.”

Yeonjun ducked her head, her face turning red. “Thanks, Soobin-ah,” she said. After allowing Soobin to admire the portrait for a few moments longer, Yeonjun soon became impatient. “Okay, now it’s your turn.”

“O-Oh,” Soobin stammered, suddenly feeling self-conscious about his own painting. “Um, well first, I just want to say that I’m not really used to painting people, and, uh, this is probably nowhere as good as yours-”

“Soobin,” Yeonjun cut him off, a slight smile on her face. “What did you just say to me? Don’t undermine yourself. I’m sure it’s amazing, so go ahead.”

With a deep breath, Soobin finally pulled the cover away. His version of Yeonjun lay beneath the curtain, leaning against the chaise lounge. Her legs were drawn to her chest, one arm draped across her knees and the other propped beneath her chin. But instead of looking out the window like Soobin had originally envisioned, Yeonjun’s head was turned toward the viewer, a fond smile on her lips. Her eyes were curved into slight crescents, shining with affection, and her cheeks had a rosy glow to them.

But what was most striking were the changes that Soobin had made to Yeonjun’s outfit. He had extended Yeonjun’s white blouse into a dress, the folds of the skirt falling down around her in translucent waves. A crown of white daffodils adorned her head, contrasting the pastel pink and blue of her hair draped across her shoulders. The sky behind her was bright blue, a clear spring day. She looked like the incarnation of the goddess of spring.

“It’s- it’s not quite realistic like a portrait should be,” Soobin rushed to explain when Yeonjun hadn’t said anything for a while. “But I remembered what you said—about how reality isn’t always truth. So, um, this is my truth,” he finished lamely.

“Soobin.” Yeonjun’s voice trembled, and she turned to look at him. Soobin was taken aback when he noticed the glimmer of tears in Yeonjun’s eyes, but when he saw the smile on her face, he allowed himself to relax. “It’s beautiful.” Yeonjun’s breath caught as she stifled a sob, and she reached up to wipe her eyes. “Nobody has ever painted me like this before. Thank you.”

“It was nothing,” Soobin replied earnestly. “I didn’t have to do much, the material was already there.” He paused, knowing that he needed to continue—to get the whole truth of his feelings out in the open—but his nerves were getting the best of him.

Taking a deep breath, Soobin continued. “Noona, these past few weeks working with you have taught me so much. I don’t think I really knew you or where your work was coming from, but as I’ve gotten to know you, I finally understand you so much better now. Your art expresses the most vulnerable parts of you, and that’s what makes it so beautiful. So what I wanted to say is… I r-really admire you, Yeonjun-noona.”

At those final words, Yeonjun’s smile faltered for a moment before molding itself back together. She nodded in acknowledgment before glancing away from Soobin to look at the portrait again. “Thanks, Soobin,” she said, and that was it.

Well, shit.

Chapter Text

“Okay, wait. So you’re telling me that you painted Yeonjun as a literal goddess, but you didn’t even confess?!” Kai screeched. The younger boy was currently sitting in Soobin’s desk chair, having rushed over to the dorm when the elder had called him saying it was an emergency.

“I didn’t know how to!“ Soobin spluttered, lifting his head from where he was sprawled on his bed. “We’ve only known each other for 3 weeks!”

“It’s been much longer than that,” Kai insisted. “You’ve been making eyes at her the entire semester!”

“Different eyes! They were full of hostility, not love!” Soobin protested.

“Whoa, hold up.” Kai held a hand up, stopping him. “Now it’s love?”

“It’s metaphorical!” Soobin snapped. “The problem is that I have a crush on Yeonjun-noona, and I completely botched my confession, and now I don’t know what to do!”

Kai sighed, running his hand through his hair. “Okay, I think we need to call Taehyun for this. One second.” Pulling out his phone, he speed-dialed the other boy’s number. “Hey, Tyunie? Soobin-hyung majorly fucked up. Please come over ASAP.”

Soobin didn’t hear the other boy’s response, but Taehyun was in his room only a short while later, leaning against the desk beside Kai with his arms crossed.

“Okay, so basically you botched your confession, and now you need our help to fix everything?” Taehyun asked once Soobin had finished explaining the situation to him.

Soobin groaned, covering his face with his hands. “Well, you don’t have to make it sound so bad!”

“Clearly, you’re not the best with words,” Taehyun continued, “which is to be expected since you’re an artist. You tried to express yourself through art, but that failed too. Maybe the gesture was too grand? Yeonjun is the darling of the campus, after all. She’s probably used to stuff like this all the time. Maybe you need to do something simpler, Soobin-style.”

“Like what?” Soobin parted his fingers, peering at Kai and Taehyun through the cracks. They both looked at each other for a moment, silently communicating in that special way only same-age friends could.

“I think it’s time we used our secret weapon,” Kai finally said, pulling out his phone again. “Let me call Beomgyu-hyung.”

That was how Soobin found Choi Beomgyu in his room even though he had only talked to them—and ‘talked’ was a generous term—once in his entire life.

“Ha!” Beomgyu crowed, a victorious smirk on their face. “I knew you would need my help!”

“This was a bad idea,” Soobin immediately said, shaking his head. “Nevermind. We don’t need you.”

“Hey, now, give Beomgyu a chance,” Kai interrupted. “You both want the same thing—for Yeonjun-noona to be happy—right?” He stared at Soobin with his signature puppy eyes, and Soobin could never say no to those eyes.

He sighed, relenting. “Okay, fine. How do you think I should confess to Yeonjun-noona?”

Beomgyu’s tone shifted as they became serious, their smile fading. “Noona is used to people making sweet proposals but never carrying through. The novelty of dating a trans girl wears off, and then they just fear the reality or become uncomfortable with it. They forget that she’s human too, not just the fetish of their dreams. I think you need to show noona that you’re really there for her, not just because of the stories or your own personal interests.”

“So… show her that I don’t only adore the glorified side of her but the regular, everyday side of her?”

Beomgyu nodded. “Exactly. Show her that it’s okay to be weak, to be vulnerable with you. Noona has had to be strong for so long. She needs someone to care for her, to show her that she deserves love too.”

Soobin’s expression turned thoughtful as he considered Beomgyu’s words. After a moment, he nodded. “I think I can do that.”

---

Once again, Soobin found himself standing in front of Yeonjun’s studio door, his heart nearly beating out of his chest from how nervous he was. Taking a deep breath, he centered himself and knocked on the door with determination. Soobin was going to confess today if it was the last thing he ever did.

“Who is it?” Yeonjun called from inside, and Soobin poked his head through the door. “Oh, Soobin, hi.”

The senior was in the corner, working on another outfit this time. Her hair was piled up on top of her head, black glasses on her face as she considered the red plaid dress in front of her. A pen was tucked behind her ear and she held a few pins in her mouth as she adjusted the fabric and marked where she planned to hem it. She looked completely ordinary, but Soobin thought she had never looked so beautiful.

After sticking a few more pins into the dress, Yeonjun finally turned around and regarded Soobin carefully. “How can I help you?”

“Um,” Soobin began before steeling his resolve, “I don’t think what I intended to say in my last portrait of you exactly came through. So I drew another.” He pulled a small sheet of paper out of his pocket, folded and slightly crumpled from how tightly he had been gripping it on the way there. “I hope you understand this one.”

He held it out to Yeonjun, and she took the paper from him. With gentle hands, she unfolded the paper and looked down at the drawing. It was a portrait of Yeonjun, exactly the way that she was now with her hair tied into a messy bun and a pencil behind her ear. Her glasses were perched on her face, and a streak of paint was smeared across her cheek. Her expression was neutral, but her eyes looked out toward the viewer thoughtfully as if considering her next masterpiece.

“I-It’s not my best work,” Soobin stammered. “I apologize if it seems messy and a little rushed. It’s just really hard to capture how beautiful you are on paper and I-” He stopped as Yeonjun took a step closer toward him, taking his hand in hers.

“Soobin, what did we say?” Yeonjun asked, the ghost of a smile on her lips. “Don’t undermine yourself. Now, tell me what you’re really trying to say.”

“I like you,” Soobin blurted out, and once he started, it was like the words wouldn’t stop pouring out of him. “I like you, all of you. The messy parts, the vulnerable parts. The part that smears paint on the canvas with her bare hands and staples earrings to a goddamn painting. The part that cries on a park bench because she’s just had her heart broken and the part that lights up when she looks at art that she loves. I like all of those parts, I think they’re beautiful. They’re what make you, you.

“And I know we haven’t really known each other for that long, but it’s been long enough for me to really understand you and to know that you deserve everything even though the world hasn’t given it to you. But I want to. I want to give everything to you.”

Then Soobin couldn’t speak anymore because Yeonjun leaned in and kissed him. As their lips pressed together, Soobin thought that Yeonjun’s lips were just as soft as he had imagined them to be. His eyes slid shut, and the hand that wasn’t holding Yeonjun’s hand came up to cup her face. She leaned into the touch, making Soobin’s heart flutter in his chest. She smelled like peaches and oil paint.

After a moment, Yeonjun pulled away, but she stayed close enough to Soobin that he could still feel the ghost of her breath across his lips. “Soobin, you’re so silly.” She smiled, her free hand coming up to cover Soobin’s hand that was cupping her cheek. “You said we haven’t known each other that long but didn’t you know? I’ve been watching you all semester.”

“I guess we’re the same then,” Soobin laughed before leaning in to kiss Yeonjun again.

---

“Okay, everyone. We’ll begin our monthly evaluations now. When you’re called, please place your painting on the stand for the class to see,” Professor Kim announced, gesturing toward the large easel at the front of the room. One by one, he began calling the students up to display the portraits that they had painted of their partners for evaluation.

As Soobin’s turn grew closer, he began to feel more and more nervous. Even though he had already received the approval of the one person who really mattered, Soobin still hated being the center of attention during evaluations—especially because this painting in particular was so personal. It was like his innermost self was being laid bare for the entire class.

“Choi Beomgyu,” Professor Kim called, and the dark-haired junior took a step forward, placing their painting on the easel.

Beomgyu had painted a radiant portrait of Kai, making the underclassman appear nearly angelic. Kai’s eyes were closed, a benevolent smile on his face as he held a white lily to his nose and inhaled the sweet fragrance of the flower. The light seemed to shine from behind Kai, giving him a halo-like glow. The portrait truly captured Kai’s compassionate nature and childlike innocence, a stark contrast to Beomgyu’s dark and slightly intimidating aura.

As Beomgyu’s partner, Kai was called up to present next. His portrait turned Beomgyu’s intimidating exterior on its head, revealing the playful interior of his partner. A mischievous grin spread across Beomgyu’s face, their eyes crinkling as they were captured mid-laugh. Although they were dressed in their classic black outfit, the background was a soft yellow, giving the painting a whimsical feeling. The portrait represented a side of Beomgyu that not many people were given the privilege of seeing.

Soobin thought Kai’s painting was well done as always, but he barely heard Professor Kim’s feedback as he realized that he was the next in line. Then Kai was taking his painting off the stand, and Soobin heard his name being called.

“Choi Soobin.”

With shaking hands, Soobin made his way to the front of the room and carefully placed his painting on the stand. Stepping away from the easel, he heard the other students immediately begin to murmur as they caught a glimpse of the goddess-like Yeonjun. It wasn’t uncommon for an art student to develop a crush on Yeonjun, but it was rare that they would be so blatantly obvious about it. He probably looked utterly infatuated.

Soobin flushed hotly under the attention, barely able to brave a glimpse at Professor Kim. When Soobin finally mustered up the courage to look, he saw that the professor had his arms crossed and one eyebrow raised as he examined the portrait, but he didn’t look displeased.

“Very interesting, Soobin,” Professor Kim said. “You took some artistic liberties with the concept of a portrait, but I can’t say that they didn’t pay off. I appreciate that you keep pushing your boundaries with your art. Good work.”

“Thank you, Professor,” Soobin replied, turning to collect his painting before hurrying back to the safety of his seat. He sighed in relief as he sat down, but he barely had a moment to relax before everyone’s attention would be back on him again.

“Next, Choi Yeonjun.”

Yeonjun strode to the front of the room, looking as confident and unfazed as always. When she placed her portrait of Soobin on the stand, the quiet murmurs of the class erupted into barely contained chatter as the students finally put two and two together. Yeonjun took a step back and crossed her arms, smirking as if pleased with herself for causing such a commotion. She glanced over at Soobin, making eye contact with him and winking.

“Oh my god,” Kai groaned, speaking up to be heard over the noise. “You two are so obvious.”

“Well, it’s as you said,” Soobin replied as a smile spread across his face, unable to suppress the giddy feeling bubbling up inside of him any longer. “Painting is just a form of falling in love.”

As he gazed back at Yeonjun, Soobin knew that she had transformed his heart into a masterpiece. It had only been waiting to be painted onto the canvas.

Chapter Text

“Alright, everyone,” Professor Kim said as he stood in the center of the room. “I’m going to give you your final assignment today. You’ll have three weeks to work on this project, including finals week, so I hope you give it a lot of thought. You will be painting on an F-100 canvas, 162 by 130 centimeters. The theme is up to you.”

The class released a chorus of mixed reactions—some groaning from the idea of working on such a large canvas while others expressed excitement about the open prompt. Soobin hadn’t reacted as strongly as the rest, his brow furrowed as he silently considered all of the possibilities. Kai leaned over, nudging Soobin with his elbow to get the older boy’s attention.

“Ugh, an F-100 canvas,” Kai complained. “That’s almost as tall as Taehyun.”

Soobin chuckled, turning to look at Kai. “Hey now, don’t sell Taehyun-ah short. He’s at least 15 centimeters taller.”

Kai sniffed. “Well, it doesn’t seem like it to me now. Can you believe we used to be the same height back in middle school?” He paused before changing the subject. “Do you know what you’re going to paint for the final?”

“Hmm, I’m not sure yet,” Soobin said, slightly distracted as he began to pack up his supplies. “I have to go now though, Yeonjun-noona and I are getting ramen together.”

Yeonjun was waiting for Soobin by the entrance, her bag slung over one shoulder. She smiled when she caught sight of Soobin, craning her head up to give him a kiss. “Hey, baby.”

“Hi, noona. You have paint on your face,” Soobin replied, reaching over to wipe the smudge off of Yeonjun’s cheek. When he was done, he leaned in and left a quick kiss where the paint had been, making her giggle. Soobin still couldn’t believe that they had only been dating for a little over a month—he and Yeonjun had immediately fallen into a comfortable intimacy as if they had been together for years.

“Let’s go, I’m hungry.” Taking Soobin’s hand, Yeonjun laced her fingers through his as they began walking toward the car. Soobin always found it cute how small her hand was compared to his, her slender fingers fitting perfectly between his larger ones. He felt as if he were holding something precious in his hands.

Yeonjun drove them over to the ramen place that they had chosen, and they slid into the booth across from one another, laughing when their long legs knocked against each other. As Yeonjun chatted about her plans to go see a movie with Beomgyu that weekend, Soobin was content to listen and watch the way that her eyes brightened at the mention of going shopping afterward. Then their ramen arrived, and Soobin smiled as Yeonjun began to eat, her cheeks puffing out as she slurped the noodles up.

He waited until they were nearly finished with their ramen to finally ask, “So, do you know what you’re going to do for the art final?”

“It’s a secret,” Yeonjun said, winking the only way she knew how, which was to blink both eyes at the same time.

“Noona.” Soobin pouted, aiming his most deadly puppy eyes at her. “That’s not fair.”

But Yeonjun was immune to her boyfriend’s tricks. “Nope, that won’t work on me. No matter how cute you are,” she said, shaking her head. “You know it’s part of my creative process.”

Yeonjun was surprisingly secretive about her art for how flashy her pieces could be. It was as if she wanted absolute focus and solitude before emerging from her studio with a masterpiece, especially when they were particularly close to her heart. Soobin was one of the special few who actually got to see her works in progress, but even he wasn’t allowed to see some pieces before they were finished.

“It’s my most authentic expression of self,” Yeonjun had explained to Soobin once. “I don’t want any outside influence before I’m done.”

Soobin sighed, aimlessly stirring the remaining ramen in his bowl with his chopsticks. “I have no idea what I’m going to do,” he admitted. “It’s such a large space to fill.”

“Well, what inspires you?” Yeonjun asked. “Nature? You said that you liked Monet’s works before.”

“It’s true that Monet is my inspiration, but that’s not enough to fill an F-100 canvas,” Soobin replied.

He looked at Yeonjun sitting across from him, the light catching on the blue and blonde streaks in her hair and making her appear to glow. Reaching out, Soobin gently tucked a stray strand of pink behind her ear and lingered there for a moment. Yeonjun caught his hand, lacing her fingers through his, and then all Soobin could focus on was the way that she smiled at him.

Soobin hummed, stroking his thumb over Yeonjun’s knuckles. “I’ll have to think about it more.”

It was a few days later when Soobin tried again, still stuck without inspiration. He and Yeonjun were watching a movie in the elder’s apartment, curled up together on the couch. Yeonjun’s legs were slung across Soobin’s lap, and her head was resting against his shoulder. She held one of his hands in her own, absentmindedly playing with his fingers as they watched the screen. It almost seemed as if she was examining them, running her fingers over his knuckles and tracing the lines of his palm.

When the movie finally came to an end, Soobin remarked, “You seem pretty interested in my hands. Is this related to your final project?”

Yeonjun lifted her head and pouted at him, pushing out her bottom lip. “Baby, didn’t we say no school talk during date night?”

“I just want to know what you’re thinking,” Soobin replied a little desperately.

Yeonjun’s lips slowly morphed into a sly grin. “I’m thinking… that art isn’t the only thing you can do with these hands.”

Shifting her position, Yeonjun swung herself over Soobin’s lap and settled there gracefully like a cat. Still holding Soobin’s hand in hers, Yeonjun guided it down to rest on her waist, his fingers brushing against the sliver of bare skin between her shirt and her jeans. Then she leaned in, teasing Soobin’s bottom lip between her teeth, and there was no more talk of art for the rest of the night.

---

“You still don’t have any ideas?” Kai asked when he noticed that Soobin had been staring at a blank canvas for the past ten minutes. It had been a week since they were given their final assignment, and Soobin still hadn’t made any progress.

“I just- I don’t know,” Soobin replied, slightly distraught as he ran his hands through his hair. “I used to be able to think of ideas so quickly, but now it’s like I can only focus on Yeonjun-noona. Like the way her eyes crinkle when she laughs or the cute mumbling sound she makes when she’s half-asleep.”

“It sounds like Yeonjun-noona is your inspiration.”

“Ugh.” Soobin’s nose scrunched in displeasure. “But that’s so cheesy.”

“Just think about it,” Kai insisted, but Soobin had already turned back to his sketchbook and that was the end of the conversation.

It wasn’t until a few days later when Yeonjun and Soobin were lying together in bed that Soobin finally had a breakthrough. He was spending the night over at her apartment, something that he now did with increasing frequency, and they had settled into that quiet stillness in which secrets are so often spilled.

“Soobin,” Yeonjun sighed into the darkness, and Soobin knew that tone of voice. It was the tone that meant Yeonjun was doubting herself again, wondering if she could ever live up to the expectations that were weighing her down. There was so much that Yeonjun carried on her shoulders, and Soobin only wanted to share the weight with her if he could.

“The truth is, I’m struggling. I don’t know what to do for my final piece. And if I don’t have my passion—if I don’t have my art—then what else is there left of me?” Yeonjun’s voice trembled, confessing the fear that every artist had at some point in their lives. But for Yeonjun, it was a devastating idea. For someone who had already lost so much, to lose art too would be the ultimate end of her. The death of one’s soul.

Oh, Soobin thought, we’re the same.

“Noona,” Soobin began very gently, “you will never lose art because you are art. You light up the room when you walk into it. When you laugh, you make flowers bloom with color. When you cry, the heavens break open and weep with you. You inspire me every day just by existing. I wish that you could see yourself the way that I see you.”

Soobin found Yeonjun’s hand, lacing his fingers through hers before bringing it up to his lips and pressing a kiss against the back of her hand. Yeonjun made a broken sound, and Soobin caught the glint of tears in her eyes, shining in the dark. He decided then that he would worship her in the only way that he knew how.

---

“It’s time for the final evaluations,” Professor Kim announced, an excited grin on his face. After an intensive three weeks, each student stood beside their final F-100 painting. “Since the canvases are too big to bring to the front, we’ll walk around the room to each piece and have the artist present their theme for three minutes. Also, we’ll be switching things up and going from the end of the alphabet backward because it’s not fair to always start from the beginning. Alright, let’s begin with…”

Soobin breathed a sigh of relief, glad that he would be toward the end of the presentations. It wasn’t that he didn’t feel confident about his final project, even after all of the time he had spent wracking his brain for inspiration, but Soobin always preferred to hear what other people had to say before his turn. Especially because he would finally see the piece that Yeonjun had been working on all this time in secret.

“Choi Yeonjun,” Professor Kim called, and Yeonjun pulled the cover away from her canvas. As the fabric dropped to the floor, the entire class gasped in shock.

The painting depicted two figures in the position of The Kiss—one with long pink hair who represented Yeonjun, and the other whose face was obscured as they turned to kiss Yeonjun, although the blue hair clearly indicated that it was Soobin. Yet the most striking element was that Yeonjun was completely naked in Soobin’s embrace, his hands obscuring her chest and groin from the audience. The piece was sensual and provocative, yet it also evoked a sense of tenderness between the two figures that made the viewer feel as if they were intruding on a private moment. Even Soobin flushed from the sheer intimacy of the painting.

“Yeonjun,” Professor Kim said, sounding unfazed even as the students tittered around him, “please explain your piece to us.”

“So many people are obsessed with seeing me naked, in multiple senses of the word,” Yeonjun began, looking around the room and brazenly making eye contact with each person. “Whether they want to know what’s beneath my clothes or what’s beneath the persona that I project every day, everyone wants to strip me bare. But there’s only one person who I trust with my vulnerability, my nakedness.” She turned, making eye contact with Soobin, and his breath caught in his throat.

“He makes me feel invincible, even in my weakest moments. That’s why I chose The Kiss as my inspiration. The painting was considered scandalous because of its subject at the time, but it represents the depth of the love and reverence that the man holds for his lover. And there’s nothing more empowering than that.”

Yeonjun bowed her head, signaling that she was finished speaking, and Professor Kim nodded back at her, a faint smile on his face. “Thank you, Yeonjun. Your piece is very thought-provoking and has clearly generated a lot of discussion already. I am glad that you’re finally comfortable sharing your self-portrait with us.” He turned, shifting his attention toward Soobin. “Next up, Choi Soobin. Please present your artwork to us.”

Still flustered from the intensity of Yeonjun’s work, Soobin fumbled with his canvas cover for a second before finally pulling the fabric away. Underneath lay a vibrant paradise, awash with the burning red and orange of a setting sun. A figure stood at the center of the piece, facing away from the audience, but her signature pink hair gave away who it was. Her long hair cascaded down her shoulders into a waterfall that became a stream, winding its way through a field of yellow and purple flowers toward the viewer. The setting sun shone from behind the figure, casting out rays of light that illuminated her head like a halo. The painting spoke of quiet devotion, of watching someone you love bloom into the light.

“When I first started painting,” Soobin began, “I didn’t understand the concept of a muse. Humans were too terrifying and complex, I couldn’t make sense of them. So instead, I convinced myself that I loved to paint nature, but only because it was easier to understand. I thought that it was easier to remain simple because I could remain safe. But then I met Yeonjun-noona.

“She taught me that there’s beauty in complexity, that each part fits together to make a greater whole. I began to fall in love with the idea of fitting the parts of myself together with another. It’s terrifying and nerve-wracking, but it makes my heart race. It makes me want to paint canvas after canvas, just because I can’t keep these emotions to myself any longer. So, after all this, I think I’ve finally found someone I can call my muse.”

Soobin finally mustered the courage to look up from where he had been staring at the floor, meeting Yeonjun’s eyes from across the room. She was standing there with a smile on her face, looking as beautiful and ethereal in the light of the studio as she did in his painting. He took a deep breath, feeling as if he was finally ready to take the risk and jump.

“Yeonjun-noona, you are my muse.”