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I watch as they hug under the rain. That was once my place. Under his umbrella, pressing my body against his for warmth.
Now, he belongs to Ji Changmin.
"You know what? I hate the rain."
Younghoon looked at me. "Why?"
I shrugged. "Too gloomy for me."
"I love the rain. The sound is so calming. Then again, our fashion king Choi Chanhee can't be getting his expensive white shoes dirty from the mud."
I shoved him. "Oh, fuck off!"
He stuck out his tongue at me and ran off, leaving me exposed to the rain. I ran after him. "Ya, get back here! I swear, if I get a cold it's your fault!"
I didn't want to admit it back then, but he always made the rain 10x better.
It's funny, really. How he also left my heart alone in the rain and took his umbrella with him. It's like fate was foreshadowing this unfortunate outcome. Even when we were just friends, I was being warned.
Maybe I wouldn't be so hurt if I had just never confessed.
"Ya, pass this note to Kim Younghoon."
"Pass this to Kim Younghoon."
"Psst, pass this to Kim Younghoon."
After many people, the note had reached Kim Younghoon's hand in the middle of their science class. Younghoon opened it, reading the one sentence.
'Meet me on the rooftop.'
So, when it was finally lunch, he went to the rooftop, finding Chanhee with a single rose.
"Kim Younghoon. I've honestly had a major crush on you since the day we met in middle school. I was gonna keep these feelings a secret forever, but I can't hide it from you anymore. I like you, Kim Younghoon."
Younghoon gasped. "Chanhee..."
Chanhee held up his hand. "No. Think about it for at least a day. Then come tell me your answer."
And then he ran off, leaving Younghoon with this to ponder.
So all night, Younhoon thought about Chanhee's feelings and his own. At the same time, Chanhee stayed awake, fearing Younghoon's answer.
Finally, a new day arrived, and they both once again stood on that rooftop. This time, Younghoon held up a rose.
"You dropped this in your grand escape, Choi."
Chanhee rolled his eyes, using his usual sassiness to mask his fear. "And what about it?"
Younghoon smiled. "So I'm guessing you want my answer now."
"That would be very nice."
"Well, it's a yes. I like you too."
I'm not saying that he never loved me. I know he did. Every look I used to get from him was filled with love. I can confidently say that I loved and was loved.
But, of course, it didn't last forever.
"B-babe..."
I barely registered the umbrella falling from my hand, only focusing on the sight before me.
My boyfriend, kissing another person in front of me. I recognized him as Lee Juyeon, Younghoon's neighbor. I'd only seen him a few times, when he stormed out of his house in seeming anger. Younghoon has defined him as a flurry of chaos.
Was it tears running down my face, or was it just the rain? I honestly couldn't tell you.
I wasn't mad, nor disappointed at first. Surprisingly, I was just... empty. Heartbroken too, but mostly empty. All the other emotions only registered a few days later, when it was too late to say anything.
My other friends found out about it rather quickly, and the whole school did too. Not the cheating part, obviously. Just the fact that me and Kim Younghoon, the iconic class couple, best friends since middle school, had broken up after 2 years.
The worst thing? I couldn't bury myself in my sheets and cry for the rest of my life. I had to go back to that hellhole and see his face and just deal with it.
After that day, I couldn't stand the rain. Just the sight of an umbrella would bring me to tears.
And then, of course, came the day that I met Ji Changmin.
It was like some sick idea of a joke from the universe, honestly. I mean, how could Younghoon find a new boyfriend so quickly? And how could he find such a perfect boyfriend too?
It was so unfair.
I wasn't prepared for this. The difficult task of walking over to Younghoon's and collecting his belongings. And Younghoon wanted back his hoodies! It was only two weeks after the breakup, and even if I seemed fine, I was three seconds away from bursting into sobs.
Of course, I didn't show that when I opened Younghoon's front door to find him in the middle of an extremely wholesome hug with a brown-haired boy on the couch.
That's how I met Ji Changmin. Apparently, Lee Juyeon didn't like Younghoon anymore after he found out about me (let's all thank Juyeon for not being a boyfriend stealer). After that, Changmin came into the picture, and was just so damn perfect that Younghoon had to ask him out.
Unfair. Changmin was pretty, he was polite, and he was just as innocent as he looked. After a few minutes of speaking to him, it occurred to me that Younghoon hadn't told him about me. Which I could've absolutely pointed out right then and there. Of course, I didn't.
I just played it off as me returning some stuff he left at my house when we had a sleepover. I was okay with pretending to be Younghoon's best bud, as long as it didn't ruin their relationship.
Yeah. Bad idea. Changmin now wanted to have us three go to a cafe together. Younghoon obviously wanted to talk to me. And all I wanted to do was go home and bury myself under the covers.
So I talked to Younghoon once Changmin had left.
"Look," I started, "I don't want to pretend to be your friend. I really wish that I could ignore your existence for the rest of my life. But since life just loves the thought of us both together, let me tell you this one thing. I may have managed to pretend like I was okay after I saw you and Juyeon. But you know what? I'm not going to let you hurt someone as sweet as Changmin, okay? So you better be ready to commit to him."
Younghoon nodded, hanging his head in shame. "Chanhee, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have done that to you."
I shrugged. "I don't care. Just don't do the same to him, or to anyone else."
He nodded, and I smiled. I was willing to move on for both Changmin and Younghoon. Even I can't deny that Younghoon was an amazing lover to have, and Changmin deserved someone like him. And Younghoon, I could see that he truly regretted what he had done to me. He wouldn't do the same thing again.
So now, here I stand. I've learned how to stand in the rain without an umbrella. The rain soaks my hair and clothes while Changmin and Younghoon stay dry under their umbrella.
But I like it. The feeling of independence. Now, I can walk in the rain with my ex and his boyfriend without feeling any negative emotions. I guess that I can now call them my friends.
I think I'm starting to like the rain.