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Days were starting to feel like weeks, or at least that was what they were turning into. Patience was easy, but not when it came to something so important. Even if it was something else that was serious, nothing could be compared more crucial. How long must he wait? When will the agony of worry, guilt, and paranoia end? It clawed at the back of his throat, sometimes even making him unable to breathe, his pale skin constantly feeling like it was itchy, and made his kakugan flare on its own.
The one and only thing that calmed the half-ghoul, with hair white as snow, was to hang from the wall of the medical building by his kagune and peek into the blonde's window, making sure that the monitors hooked up to him were working properly and that a sheet would not be placed over his head any time soon. Regardless, it still pained him to see the other laying there all day and night without that usual caring smile on his face. That guilt would always continue to creep up his chest, and he’d clutch the front of his suit and going back to the roof to sit and wait.
This was a daily routine; with words unable to be unuttered other than a soft "Hide...".
His thought process was growing more grim by each passed day, wondering if Hide would ever wake up. He clung that that strand of hope disregarding some form of the negativity. There was never going to be a way that he could forget how the other continued his brightened personality even through a mortal wound, doing all he could just to make him smile.
Shaking his head, he covered his face and did his best to hold back anymore tears. It was torture, how selfish he was to his friend; how he practically said nothing and the other could've died that night. There was so much he wanted to say and what should have been said, but there was also too much running through his mind that kept his voice in lock.
He did his best to snap out of it, at least for that moment, to once again make sure that his friend was still safe - as he can be - in that room. Retracting one of his kagune tendrils, he stuck it into the hole he repeatedly used to swing himself down to the level in which Hide was kept. He stayed out just ‘out of sight’ for awhile, his heart suddenly pounding with anxiety. He almost turned away in hopes he could try again once he calmed down, but no. He had to see him, he had to see he was still there. He needed to know.
Taking in a soft yet deep breath, he turned his head to look into the window. His eyes were met with another pair, ones of gentle brown. Then there was a smile, and a weak hand waving to him. He couldn't quite hear what was being said, but with how well he was able to read books, it was the same with lips.
"Yo, Kaneki."
Kaneki's heart felt like it was going to leap from his throat at any given moment, in the reliving form of vomit from all the pent of anxiety and fear that Hide would never wake up. Fortunately he kept it back, but was unable to stop the tears that decided to make their move instead.
He was finally awake.
At being gently shooed away, Kaneki briefly hid by the side of the window to be careful he wouldn't be seen. Hide didn't exactly say how long he should wait, so he decided to go with ten minutes... Twenty to be safe.
There was excitement coursing up his skin, his breath unable to calm down as his eyes kept so wide it was practically becoming painful.
His daze left him once he heard the window beside him open, scooting away slightly.
"Kaneki? You still there right?" Hide's voice called quietly, a coarser sound coming from his throat than usual.
Kaneki stayed where he was for a moment, before turning his body against the window to see that the bed had been moved towards the window. Hide grinned enough for two people once seeing Kaneki again, before leaning over and giving a light flick on Kaneki's forehead.
"Kaneki, this isn't my house. Should I have written down my address for you?"
There was absolutely nothing holding Kaneki's emotions back, not even himself. Tears poured from his sight which made his cheeks glossy. He could hardly hear his own sobs, but knew how much he needed to hold the sound back so others wouldn't be suspicious and come in. Hide held up his arms feebly to him and curled his fingers repeatedly in a beckoning motion. A second could hardly go by before Hide had arms full of Kaneki.
"Hide..." Kaneki croaked, burying his face into Hide's chest. Soon the words were against his arm, his shoulder, his neck, his cheek, anywhere his face would land on.
He made sure to not put any pressure on his wound or anywhere else that might be painful.
"Hey, c'mon now..." Hide murmured calmly, his hands kindly stroking the back of Kaneki's head and through his white hair. "You're gonna have me doing it too." He referred to himself tearing up as well.
He weakly laughed feeling Kaneki lift his head up then almost purred feeling his hands touch his cheeks and wipe the tears away. To thank him for the gesture, Hide carefully kissed at the half-ghoul's face to rid him of his own tears. Kaneki couldn't help but grant a quiet giggle and bump their foreheads together after feeling Hide playfully lick at his cheek once he was done.
When a few moments passed, Hide plopped his head back on to the pillow. He patted Kaneki's head with a long sigh. "Man, I am starving," he spoke hoarsely.
"There should be food brought to you soon since you're awake now..." Kaneki assured, humming and lightly nuzzling against his hand with a soft smile once Hide moved the hand patting his head to his cheek.
He was then taken by surprise once he felt the blonde tugging on his cheek with a smirk. "How do you know that, huh? You been spying on me?" he teased, unable to hold back a snicker when seeing Kaneki's face turn a soft shade of red.
"I wasn't ‘spying,’" He pointed out.
"Also you're still wearing that suit of yours. Do I need to buy you new clothes once I'm out of here?" Hide said, abruptly moving the direction of the conversation.
"Eh? Oh..." Kaneki looked over himself, but not enough to move out of Hide's arms.
Hide smiled calmly, a type of smile that Kaneki knew Hide was up to something. "Although..." Kaneki suddenly felt Hide’s tender fingers on his exposed lower back, his hand running in smooth circles across his skin, almost making him shudder. "I do kinda like this part, hehee."
"Hide..!" Kaneki sighed and lightly patted his hand away, Hide unable to hold back a series of laughs in a form of a giggle fit. "For someone who almost just--"
He stopped mid-sentence. It felt almost too painful to continue what he was going to say, to even think about that there was a possibility that it could've happened. As happy as Kaneki was to see the other alive and well in front of him, there was still that image of Hide collapsing in his arms, along blood that had pooled from his side. He was never going to forget that image, nor forgive himself that he couldn't protect him beforehand. He would stick with denial of that word for a long time.
"... You seem to be recovering well," Kaneki finished, being offered a few blinks from Hide.
"Eeh? You think so? Well..." Hide sighed as the hand on his cheek was active again, gently carassing against his surprisingly soft face. His thumb lightly tapped against his cheek as if he was in thought. "Honestly, it hurts... Really bad. For some reason though, I can't help but be happy and smile around you, ya know? Because... I love trying to make you laugh; to see you smile back. I love it."
Kaneki stared, recalling back at their encounter at Anteiku once more. He couldn't believe that Hide would put on that act, even through all that pain, just so he could see Kaneki happy one last time. He thanks Kami-sama that indeed wasn't going to be the last time.
"...H-Hide..."
"Kuku, you're gonna wear out my name by saying it so much." He offered him a cheeky grin, both his hands now touching and cupping Kaneki's face. "Ka-ne-ki Ken~"
The injured blonde was brought to silence with a pair of chapped lips. Kaneki cupped his hands against Hide's jaw, his fingers practically shaking. Hide helped ease the other's worry by pulling his face a little closer so he could kiss him back.
It was gentle, but at the same time a desperate kiss. It was as if almost all of Kaneki's questions and doubts were being turned into mush and washing away. He couldn't stop more tears sliding from his closed eyes, but was thankful for Hide's caring touch when he wiped them away. It ended all too soon for the half-ghoul, Hide's lips slowly parting from his but almost immediately returned. Kaneki assumed he wanted to speak, but they both didn't want to stop, at least not just yet.
When their kiss did finally end, Hide sighed contently with a bright grin, calmly stroking one of Kaneki's cheeks once more. "Heh, when I get out of here, let's actually go home this time. They take forever to bring food! You hear my stomach growling too, right?"
Kaneki raised his hand to his puffy eye to rub the tears away and laughed. Oh, Hide... Always joking with him at the worst times. Ironically enough, he couldn't be more thankful.
"Yeah... Let's go home soon."