Chapter Text
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Seokhoon ran behind his mother, panic clearly visible on his face. Along the way to the hospital, he didn't stop praying that what he feared would not happen.
"Please, nothing bad happened to her. Please …"
Was the sentence he kept repeating like a prayer hoping it would come true.
His sister also ran beside him, a look of concern visible on her face. The change in her attitude to the person that made them run like this could be seen from his sister who was no longer looking jealous or showing her annoyance when both he and their mother paid attention to that person. Along the way, his sister even tried to strengthen their mother and also him by assuring them with positive thinking. He himself also tried to think positively after hearing the bad news from Jeni's mother. Although in the end his fear still dominated his mind.
They've been running toward the operating room after Jeni's mother previously informed them about the accident that happened at Hera Palace and now there are two people they knew were in the operating room: Dr Ha and Rona.
Rona
Is the person who was constantly on his mind.
Is the person he kept praying that nothing bad would happen.
They finally arrived at the operating room and saw Jeni's mother and Logan standing at the door.
"What happened?" His mother asked them.
The answer that Jeni's mother gave sounded faintly in his ears. Her explanation about how Ms Cheon kept calling Rona by the name Eunbyeol didn't catch his attention. His eyes were fixed on the operating room, staring at its door as he continued to express his prayer for the girl lying on the operating table. He touched its door and closed his eyes, the tears he had been holding back rolling down his cheeks.
'Please, Rona-ya. Hang on there. Please!'
"Where's Cheon Seojin now?" Annoyance could be heard in his mother's voice. This made him look at his mother, whom he correctly guessed was angry.
"She's been transferred to ward." Ms Kang's response causes his mother and Logan to leave the operating room, perhaps going to see Ms Cheon. He looked back at the operating room and closed his eyes, once again praying that the girl in the room would be saved.
"Omma!" A girl's voice and footsteps running towards them made him open his eyes before turning his gaze away from the front door.
"Jeni-ya ..." He saw the mother of his beloved girl's best friend hugging her child tightly.
"Rona… Rona is okay, right?" The girl named Jeni asked her mother with teary eyes.
"Don't worry, she'll be alright." Her mother replied to calm her down. And he hoped that the woman's words would come true and the girl behind the door would be okay. He looked back at the door.
"What happened? Why did Rona continue to be in that room? What was she doing there?" Jeni's question pierced his chest. He knew the reason why she was still there.
"Joo Seokhoon?" He turned after his name was called by the person who came with Jeni. The expression on the person who called him was different, no longer looking childish like how he usually did when he looked at him. The person, his other friend, stared at him with observing eyes.
"You weren't with Rona?" If Jeni's question pierced his chest, then the question given by his childhood friend's hurt his whole body. He shook his head weakly.
"I thought Rona wanted to meet you." He wanted to answer, yes – Rona did ask him to meet her, but he ignored his question. The silence was only the thing he could do at the moment.
"What do you mean, Minhyuk-ah?" Even though the question was aimed at Minhyuk, Jeni glared at him suspiciously. Minhyuk looked at him in sympathy before taking a deep breath to answer Jeni's question.
"Last time I met Rona, she said she wanted to meet Seokhoon and will wait for him in the community room."
"What? Tch. Again, this is all your fault. Because you couldn't refuse your sister's request or force her to leave you two alone, Rona lost her mother. Now, Rona is fighting for her life also because of you." Not the curt look from Jeni's eyes towards him or her words that wounded him. But the truth implicit in her words made Seokhoon even more silent and lowered his eyes from Jeni's angry eyes. He was letting the pain hurt his chest. Because he knew, he deserved it.
"What do you mean it's because of my brother? What happened to Ms Oh is not my brother's fault." He was still looking down, not realizing that his sister was in front of him.
"Then whose fault is it? You? What if I say it's both of you!!!" Jeni emphasized her words firmly but without shouting.
"Jeni-ya, come on. Stop it! There was no one at fault in this accident, except Ms Cheon." Jeni's mother's words didn't stop the girl who then pushed his sister aside before standing right in front of him. He lifted his head and looked at her who was staring piercingly at him in the eyes.
"Remember Joo Seokhoon, if Rona couldn't make it out alive then it's all your fault."
"Hey Yoo Jeni!!"
"And if Rona manages to survive, then you shouldn't be near her again." Jeni's words struck him and he couldn't stop looking into her eyes. Eyes that looked mixed with worry and anger.
"You, Joo Seokhoon with what you have done all this time for Rona, don't deserve to be by her side. You've repeatedly created the same mistake by leaving her when she needed you the most. So you better know yourself and don't approach Rona again. You've already broken up with her, so keep doing what you told her when you broke up." Jeni's last sentence slapped him. A tight feeling of regret was felt in his chest.
"Jeni-ya, stop it. You better sit down and pray for Rona."
"Omma… I'm scared." Her mother's words successfully made Jeni stop her anger towards him.
"Sit down first and calm yourself. There's no point in getting angry or scared. I'll buy you a drink." Minhyuk helped Jeni to calm down. He saw his friend who had been the most childish become the most mature.
He saw Minhyuk's back as he walked away from them. Minhyuk and Jeni's words made him realize that this all happened because of him. If only he had replied to Rona's message to not wait for him, the girl probably wouldn't have been behind that operating room door.
The words Jeni gave him kept ringing in his ears. Words that he doesn't deserve to be around the girl he loves. Yes, he knew that he didn't deserve to be by Rona's side. That was the reason why he decided to break up with Rona because he was the son of the person who caused her mother to be killed. Jeni was right, he didn't deserve her. But why does the fact still feel painful to him? The feeling of not wanting to lose her and not wanting to leave her side again after all this had emerged from deep inside his heart. Should he really stay away from Rona if she managed to survive? Or should he get down on his knees apologizing for leaving her and asking her to accept him back to her side? What if Rona couldn't make it? What would he do?
He let out a sigh before lifting his head to look at the ceiling of the hallway. The bright light caused him to close his eyes. He felt really stupid.
Unknowingly his feet stepped away from the door. He looked around. Jeni was seen sitting with her mother who continued to rub her back. His sister leaned against the wall next to him, lowering her head. They all looked worried and scared. He couldn't bear to see it. His chest was getting tighter with the pain that was stuffing his chest. His feet took a step back before he turned around and walked away from them. He needed fresh air.
"Oppa, where are you going?"
"I need to be alone for a moment." Without looking back, he continued walking away from the operating room.
He walked aimlessly, just following his feet. Even though he had walked far from the operating room, his mind was unfocused about what happened around him. His mind was still there, still thinking about the girl in the room. Before he knew it he was outside the ER door, and his consciousness came when he heard the pleading of a woman who ran following the medical team.
"Please save him, please! I will do whatever it takes for you to save him." The sound of a woman's desperate crying passed in front of him. Her request was heard not only once or twice but repeated many times, indicating that the woman was in great fear. Fear of losing the person who may be very precious to her.
Like he was now. Fear was stuffing him. Fear of losing his loved one. He looked around, staring at the outside view of the hospital that was in front of him. His wandering eyes stopped at a little garden with several long wooden benches. The calming sight brought his feet to walk towards one of the benches and he sat on it. Leaning back, he looked up at the sky. If he continued to pray she had to be saved, would The One above him answer his prayer? Or will he get punished and He took his girl instead? Tears flowed from his eyes that were still looking up at the sky.
As if he wanted to add to the pain in his chest, he took the phone out of his pocket and opened the message from her again. He tapped the reply column and a keyboard appeared on his phone screen.
Don't wait for me! Please don't wait for me!
That was the sentence he typed. But before he hit the send button, the time under her message and the time at the top right corner of his phone screen woke him up. He instantly gripped the phone tightly with both hands before he brought it to his face. The sound of sobs came out as soon as he closed his eyes and more and more tears fell.
"Please turn around! Time, please turn back!!"
He took out all his pain. The pain consisted of the regret he was feeling and the fear of losing her.
***
Seokkyung kept looking at the clock, counting how long her brother had been out. Anxiety attacked her because she really didn't want her brother to be alone in such a state. But she had intended to be a good sister to him even though they weren't blood-related so she followed what he wanted, which was to leave him alone. The yellow milk carton she held all this time, being toyed by her hand.
"Where's your brother? He hasn't come back yet?" She turned to her mother. Her mother had been back about five minutes ago to the waiting room in front of the operating room after she and her former teacher met Ms Cheon. She shook her head at her mother's question before staring back at the milk box in her hand.
"I don't know, he just said he wanted to be alone."
"I see, maybe being here will only make him worry more."
"I think he wanted to be alone to blame himself."
"What do you mean?" She looked back to see the confusion on her mother's beautiful face. It's only natural that her mother was confused, she wasn't here when Jeni attacked her brother with hurtful words. Her eyes shifted to Jeni sitting with her mother who was always stroking her back.
"Jeni… she said things that might hurt him."
"Like what?"
"Like blaming him for what happened to Rona." She saw her mother looking at Jeni before looking at her again. From her face, she could tell that her mother had understood what she was saying.
"Jeni said that might be because she's worrying about Rona. Your brother's break up with Rona wasn't his fault, maybe I'm the one who is more guilty because I was the one who said that his father was involved in Yoonhee's death."
"Not only that. Actually, Rona was in the community room waiting for him. The message that made him anxious earlier in the car or the restaurant was probably from her. And he blamed himself for ignoring her message."
"…"
"His face looked hurt when Jeni said those words. Even me, who only heard it became hurt, let alone him. He must be in a lot of pain right now." She didn't realize the tears started to well in her eyes. Her mother caressed her back.
"Now, maybe it's time for you to comfort him. For you to ease his pain. Being by his side accompanied him through this all. Now you know, Rona is very precious to your brother so you put away your ego as far as possible in helping him to be strong."
"Omma …"
"I know you hate Rona. But for your brother and for the first time, put down your hatred for Rona for a moment and try to understand his feelings." Her mother smiled at her. She remembered her mother's words at the restaurant before they came here. Her mother told her not to run away and face everything. Signalling for her to change after all the sorry she said and the regret she showed in front of her mother.
"Okay." Yes, maybe it's time for her to not be a selfish girl who only thinks about herself.
She then stood up and started searching for her brother. After almost fifteen minutes of searching every corner of the hospital, she finally found him. On a bench in the little garden view in front of her, a person who she noticed was in extreme fear sat with his face down. Her brother's state caused her to walk quickly towards him.
"So you're here? I've been looking for you." Her brother glanced at her before giving her a small smile. His eyes were red and the trace of tears was visible on his cheeks. She sat next to her brother who had not said a word since she found him.
"I brought this. Minhyuk bought it for you earlier. It seems like that kid did know everything. But how could he be still stupid, asking me to give this to you?" She put the yellow chocolate milk carton next to her brother. When she received this drink from Minhyuk, she scolded him because it would only bring more sadness to her brother. But she still took it after Minhyuk assured her that it might make her brother feel better. She watched her brother say no words after picking up the drink that became his favourite after a girl named Rona gave it to him when they were in their first year of high school. Her memory when she threw the milk away after knowing that her brother was still holding it came out for her to remind her of what she had done. At that time she wasn't aware that her brother had fallen in love with the girl she always hurt when they were high schoolers. Even to this point, she still hurt her. Jeni's words earlier rang in her ears. Her brother was not at fault, she was the one who was at fault.
"I'm sorry. It's all my fault." She apologized to her brother. She knew her brother's anxiety earlier when they were in the car was about Rona. Her brother ignored the girl's message because of her.
"It's not your fault. It's my own fault." She heard her brother reply to her even though his eyes were still staring at the milk in his hand. She was silent waiting for her brother to continue.
"Jeni was right. I… I'm so stupid. I should have replied to her message saying that I couldn't meet her. But I… I-" She saw her brother lowering his head again. She put her hand on his back.
"I should have replied to her message, Seokkyung-ah. But I just ignored it." His hands were now covering his face.
"You didn't have time to reply because you were busy with me and my stubborn childish acts. That's why I said sorry." She was still rubbing her brother's back.
"No! That's not because of it. It's because I was only thinking about myself. I ignored her message not because I didn't have time to reply to her. I could have replied by telling her that I couldn't meet her. But I didn't do it because I purposely avoided her. I wanted to keep my words about not caring at her again, about us becoming strangers again." She saw his brother looking at her with red eyes full of tears that were started to fall.
"Oppa …."
"If only I let go of my ego and replied to her message, even only replied it with a simple no, she wouldn't have been waiting for me there." Her brother started to let go of all his emotions. Tears were now welling up in her eyes seeing her brother's state. She pulled him to her arm and then side-hugged him like he always did to her when she felt down.
"Let it go, oppa! Crying out if you want. It's okay." Shortly after she said that, her brother let out a cry like she had never seen before.
"I'm scared. What if… what if I've got punished for ignoring her by losing her this time? Seokkyung-ah, what would I do if I lost her?" She heard her brother's question between his sobs. The sad cry that came out of his brother's mouth made her realize that he really loved the girl she had been jealous of.
"No way, Rona won't give up so easily. She managed to survive when dad tried to kill her." Yes, that girl was very strong even beyond her. That girl endured all the torture she gave her. That girl could hold on after everything she, her father and Ms Cheon did to bring her down. That girl could hold on after her mother left her.
"I promised to protect her, but I left her instead." She felt her brother's hand holding hers tightly.
"Oppa …"
"Just like I promised to protect you, but I failed." Her brother's statement brought out her guilty feeling. It wasn't his fault that he failed to protect her, it was her fault. How could her brother protect her if she herself wanted to be with the person who always tortured her? After all the warnings and advice from her mother and brother, she still chose her father instead of them.
"You're not at fault, maybe the old me would have said that it's your fault to not protect me and preferred your girlfriend over me. But, the current me won't blame you for something that happened because of my own fault." She sincerely hoped that her words could lighten his burden. The sound of crying that was still heard from her brother's mouth made her tighten her hug. At this moment and maybe, later on, she will be the one for her brother to lean on after all this time he has always been a rock for her to lean on.
"Rona will be alright. Trust me. And it's not your fault this happened. It's not your fault at all." Seokkyung's tears also started running out of her eyes. Guilt and regret become one, plus pity toward her brother. The sadness he showed to her, the fragility he showed her made her realize that her brother was in a lot of pain. Her sad tears rolling down accompanied his painful sobbing.
***