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Waking up in the morning used to be hard for her. Her parents weren’t around and eventually passed away from their own stupidity, so there had never been a supportive presence greeting her when she woke up. Even in the foster families she was a part of, she had to provide for herself, so she was up early every morning to work hard at school and then go to her crappy minimum wage job. She wasn’t bad at making friends, but bullies liked to make sure no one even thought of approaching her. Even during her early days of college, her friends didn’t seem too interested in spending time with her.
And so she started to expect being alone, and that wasn’t particularly great to wake up to. It wasn’t even that she was bad at waking up. She was never grumpy or late. She just … simply didn’t want to. When her life felt like it was going nowhere, when she couldn’t find an ounce of happiness, how was she supposed to get up?
And then grad school came. As she began working on her Ph.D. in Biological Sciences in Public Health at Harvard (she still had such a hard time believing she got into Harvard), she simply couldn’t afford to live on her own anymore. She was spending too much time in a lab, and not a lot of money was coming in, and she could take care of herself, so finding a roommate on Craigslist was easy enough. To be fair, Finn was the one who listed an ad for a roommate on Craigslist in the first place.
Finn made waking up just a little easier. He always greeted her with a smile and made sure she at least had a bowl of cereal before running off anywhere. When they both had a night off, though they were few and far between, he made her sit in the living room, eat dinner, and watch trash reality TV with him. They even gossiped in their passing moments. He was her first real friend , the first person she could really rely on to have her back.
And then Finn, who went to Harvard with her, started dating a guy from MIT. Poe, though much louder and more confident than anyone she’d ever met, was a sweetheart to Finn and gave him all of his attention as often as he could. Though she was clearly a third wheel, it wasn’t entirely unpleasant spending time with them. They were a beautiful couple and so clearly in love with one another. It gave her the best example of adult love that she had ever received.
Poe came with a lot of other friends, both from MIT and Harvard, that neither Finn nor she had met before. Jannah and Kaydel, dating each other, were two angels who also gave her a really good set of female friends. Most girls that she’d been friends with had only kept her around to make themselves feel better, but Kaydel and Jannah were just like Finn - they only offered her smiles and kindness. He also introduced them to Rose and Hux, a couple who refused to make it official. They never cheated and were practically attached at the hip, but they wouldn’t claim to be taken or obligated to anything. Despite their unconventional relationship, she liked the lack of expectations they held for one another. It was just two people loving each other in the only way they really knew how.
Finally, Poe introduced her to Ben.
Ben.
He was a turning point for her. She even considered her life in two different parts: Before Ben and After Ben.
Before Ben, she considered herself to be asexual. While the idea of sex did excite her, no one particularly attracted her. They all seemed perfectly boring, just like the rest of her life, and she couldn’t bother to give them the time of day. Before Ben, she didn’t talk about what she thought about the world. Yes, she gossiped with Finn, but he didn’t ask what she thought about religion or how much anger she still had about her parents or what she was hoping for in getting her Ph.D. Before Ben, she spent any free time she had by herself.
After Ben, she only ever thought of him when she had a moment to herself. When she was with him, her parents were always wet. She started considering other sexualities because he was so intriguing to her. After Ben, she answered when he asked about her parents and religion and her aspirations in life. She felt comfortable letting him see her as she was. She was sure of who she was and how she felt, and he accepted that knowledge with gentle eyes. After Ben, she made sure she was with him in her free time. Though it didn’t always feel like they fit in with their friend group, they always fit together and that was enough.
Suddenly, waking up was the easiest thing to do.