Chapter Text
You had no idea where you were.
Obviously, you were still in New York, right? The buildings made that much obvious. Except it wasn’t your New York. On every wall there were posters of Spider-Man calling him a menace. TV’s everywhere broadcasted a young Peter Parker, “alleged murderer” under his photo. But that wasn’t Peter. You knew Peter and that’s definitely not him, right?
Just when you thought you really were going crazy, a ring of light appeared before you (which didn’t help at all). There were people on the other side, waving at you, beckoning you to come to them. You looked around yourself, making sure they were actually speaking to you before cautiously stepping through. Then you were in a cozy home, surrounded by strangers.
“Uh… hi?” You said. “Who are you, what’s going on?”
“I’m MJ, that’s Ned.” The pretty young girl said, pointing at another kid in the room. Said kid shot a peace sign at you.
“Okayyy, that didn’t help.” You said.
“Sorry, I know this is strange, it is for us too.” MJ said.
You looked around the room and noticed two other men there. One was older, wearing casual clothing, the other was… it was Peter. It was your Peter Parker. You stood frozen to your spot, just staring at him in complete disbelief. His face- his hair, everything about him, completely the same as the day you’d lost him. His eyes make contact with yours, but no recognition crossed his features. He had no idea who you were. You forced yourself to look away. Your mind was running at a thousand miles an hour. ‘How could he be here? Why does he not know me? What the hell is happening?’
“Who exactly are you?” The kid named Ned asked.
It took a second for you to register that he was asking you that question. “Huh?” You pulled yourself from your thoughts. “Oh, uh I’m Y/N.”
MJ and Ned shared a look, “And are you…?” MJ trailed off, not sure how to phrase her question. You only looked back in confusion. “Are you Spider-Man where you come from?”
“Spider-Woman, actually, but yeah. Is that why I’m here? Did you guys do this?” You ask them, slightly more accusatory than you meant.
“What? No!” MJ said, clearly offended at the idea.
“There was a… mishap with Dr. Strange and our Spider-Man, they sorta broke the multiverse.” Ned cut in helpfully.
“Dr. Strange?” The older guy, who you assumed was another Peter Parker, asked.
“He’s a wizard.” Ned replied.
“Ned!” MJ shot him a pointed look.
“A wizard? Like magic? Magic is real in your universe?” Your Peter asked, clearly excited by the prospect. You were more so freaking out at the idea.
They continue to talk amongst themselves while you try your best to keep up. It’s difficult though with Peter in the room with you. You steal glances his way when he’s not looking. It feels like a breath of fresh air when your eyes land on him. He’s here. Alive. Smiling. Talking so fast and moving around excitedly as always. Only this isn’t your Peter. He’s from an entirely different universe and he has no clue that you know him. That may be for the best, you thought. He doesn’t have to know.
“Yeah, I think I know exactly where that would be.” MJ states. This pulls you out of your internal dilemma. You were half paying attention to what they were talking about. Guess it’s time to go find the ‘Real Peter’.
-
When you all arrive at the top of the building in Queens, the sight before you breaks your heart. He’s just a kid. Like you and Peter were when you guys first started out. He’s bloody and tears are streaming down his face and he’s staring at the three of you, distrust in his eyes.
“Sorry… about May.” The older Peter says. “I got some understanding of what you’re going through-”
“No.” The kid says, angry. “Please don’t tell me that you know what I’m going through.”
“Okay.”
“She’s gone. It’s all my fault. She died for nothing.” The words hit very close to home, and by the looks of the two other Peters, it did for them as well. “So I’m gonna do what I should’ve done in the first place. You don’t belong here, none of you, so I’m sending you home.”
As much as you would’ve loved that less than an hour ago, now you want nothing more than to stay. Peter, the one that looks so much like yours, is here. You don’t care that he doesn’t know you, only that he’s happy and healthy and getting to see that has added years to your life it feels like.
“Those other guys are from your worlds, right?” The youngest Peter asks. “So you deal with it. If they die, if you kill them, that’s on you. It’s not my problem, I don’t care anymore, I’m done. I’m really sorry that I dragged you into this, but you have to go home now. Good luck.” His finger hovers over the red button that would send you back home.
You see so much of yourself in this Peter. The anger, the sadness, it echoes between the two of you and most likely the other Peters as well.
“My Uncle Ben was killed. It was my fault.” The older Peter stated, making his young counterpart falter.
“I lost… I lost Gwen. My… she was my MJ.” Your Peter said. You stared at him, mouth open in shock. You know a Gwen, back in your universe. She and Peter weren’t friends though, they never even met one another. “I couldn’t save her. I’m never gonna be able to forgive myself for that. But I carried on. Tried to… tried to keep going. Tried to keep being the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man because I know that’s what she would’ve wanted.” He was on the verge of tears and you had to look away. You felt sick. “But, at some point, I just… I stopped pulling my punches. I got rageful. I got bitter. I just don’t want you to end up like… like me.”
“The night Ben died, I hunted down the man who I thought did it.” Older Peter said. “I wanted him dead. I got what I wanted. It didn’t make it better. It took me a long time to… learn to get through that darkness.”
Everyone was silent for a moment.
“It was… Peter for me.” All eyes landed on you. “My best friend. My entire world, really. He’s the reason I’m even here today. I loved him. And now he’s gone… forever.” You tried your best to keep a level voice, but it got shaky near the end. “I would give anything, my own life, to have him back.” You stole a quick glance at your Peter’s doppelganger. The brief eye contact nearly broke you completely.
“I wanna kill him. I wanna tear him apart.” The kid says. “I can still hear her voice in my head. Even after she was hurt, she said to me that we did the right thing. She told me that with great power…”
“Comes great responsibility.” The four of you said at once.
“Wait, what? How do you know that?”
“Uncle Ben said it. The day he died. Maybe she didn’t die for nothing Peter.”
-
At the highschool lab now, you and the Peters were coming up with a cohesive plan to cure all of the villains and send everyone home.
“Well, I got Connors. I’ve already cured him once, so no big deal.” Your Peter says.
“I can help. I fought Connors once before too.” You say. Peter nods and the two of you get to work on a cure.
You don’t know why you volunteered yourself to work with this Peter. Yes, looking at him brought you happiness, but it also carried a wave of sadness. Knowing that this wasn’t actually him. That your Peter was actually dead and gone. His presence is both a blessing and a curse. At some point the other two Peters had to step out of the lab with Ned and MJ, which just left the two of you alone. You searched and searched for something, anything, to say to him, but you mind was a total blank. What could you ever say?
“I look like him, don’t I?” Peter says suddenly, catching you way off guard.
You look up at him, eyes wide, “What?”
“You’ve been staring at me, on and off, all night.” He says with a small smile. “It’s ok, I don’t mind… I was just curious.”
You look away. It feels suddenly much more tense than before, you clench your jaw and think of how to respond. You considered lying so you wouldn’t have to have this conversation. Instead, it only takes another few moments for you to get the words out, “Yeah… you do.” You let out a sigh and drop your shoulders.
“Hey, you don’t have to talk about it or anything-” Peter is quick to comfort you. God, he is so alike to your Peter, it’s unnerving.
“It’s okay- I mean, I’m okay.” You cut him off and look into his eyes. “Uh I just- seeing you here, so alive.” You smile while your eyes fill with tears. “It’s nice. But it’s like seeing a ghost and I can’t quite bring myself to believe it.”
Peter only looks back at you, silent, waiting for you to continue. He knows what this must be like for you, how absurd and amazing and terrifying it is.
“God, sorry.” You say, wiping at your eyes. You’ve always hated crying in front of people, especially strangers. Though Peter isn’t exactly a stranger.
“It’s okay.” He says, reaching across the lab table to grab your hand. He brushes his thumb along the back of your hand. Just like your Peter would always do when you were upset. The action makes more tears come out. Again, he just waits patiently for when you’re ready to speak again.
“It was my fault.” You finally say. You gently pull your hand away from Peter, not being able to bear the idea of him comforting you while you tell this story. He only looks back with concerned eyes. “We were on a mission, a dangerous one, but when aren’t they?” You let out a humorless chuckle. “Uh we got separated. I let myself get distracted and he died on my watch.” You stared down at your lap, feeling numb. You’ve never actually had to say any of this out loud before. “I should’ve been right next to him. I could’ve saved him-”
“It wasn’t your fault.” You looked up at Peter who looked back, completely calm. How could he be? After what you’d just admitted?
You shook your head, “You have no idea-”
“I do, actually. I know exactly. I know what it is to lose someone. And to feel at fault for it. To wake up every morning, asking God why it wasn’t you. The guilt, the sorrow, all of it, I know.” Tears welled in his eyes as he spoke. You felt like someone just punched you in the gut extremely hard. “But I also know that I did everything I could. It took a long time to accept it. Because the truth is, it’s easier to not forgive yourself. It’s easy to carry all that weight and punish yourself every day for it. It’s difficult to accept that the person you loved is gone forever and that you couldn't have changed it. It’s difficult to accept that sometimes you’re just not in control.” He finishes with a pained smile that you try your best to reciprocate.
It’s silent for a minute while you conjure up the strength to say what you’ve been dying to say since the moment you saw this Peter. “Thank you, really.” You say. He nods. “Can I… This is strange… I know you aren’t him. But you also… are. I need to say something to you and then I’ll drop this and we won’t ever have to talk about it again.” Peter gives you a curious look and nods again. You look him in the eyes and take a steadying breath and clear your throat. “I am so sorry.” Your voice breaks but you continue. “I’m sorry that I wasn’t there. Thank you for the years of friendship you gave me and for saving my life more times than I can count. And I am so sorry for not being able to return the favor.” You break down as you say the final word, collapsing in on yourself, but also feeling like a world was lifted off your shoulders.
Immediately Peter is out of his seat and walking around the table to get to you. He wraps his long arms around you and you sob into his lab coat. “It’s okay. I forgive you.” He says. The words make you cry harder. Everything you’d been holding in, every emotion you didn’t let yourself feel for the last however many years came crashing into you all at once. It was the release that you didn’t know you needed.
To finally be able to say it, not only out loud, but to him. To Peter. It was incomparable to anything you’d felt in your life. You didn’t know if you were crying tears of sorrow or joy anymore, probably both. Definitely both. “Thank you, thank you, thank you… ” Was all you could manage to mumble out, over and over.
You finally release each other when the last of your tears dried up. You felt dehydrated and so, so happy. You smile up at Peter and he returns it with one of his own. He doesn’t let go of your hand despite being back in his seat. “I actually… I have a question for you.” Peter says, a little nervously.
“Anything.” You state. You’d give him both your kidneys if he asked for them.
“What was… uh what was our relationship like? In your universe?” He asks, timid and polite. It makes your heart ache. You weren’t sure how he’d react to the answer, but you weren’t gonna lie to him.
“Peter was my best friend. Ever since we were kids. We grew up together. I knew everything about him and he knew everything about me. I sometimes felt like he knew me better than I knew myself.” You said, a small smile on your lips. It was nice, talking about him without feeling that crushing guilt. Peter smiled back at you. “Then we entered highschool… and I don’t know. Something changed. We both felt it. I was in love with him. Think I always was, I just didn’t know it… he confessed to me after class one day.” The fond memory made you smile wider. “He was so nervous, practically shaking and I didn’t even let him finish his sentence before I kissed him.” You started laughing and Peter joined in. “Oh, he was… he was my everything.”
“And did you both…? Well, how did you become Spider-Woman?” Peter asked eagerly.
“I assume the same way you did, bit by a spider. Well that was Peter’s fault really. He got bit first and then like the genius he was, he captured the spider and, thinking it was dead, handed it to me to look over. It bit me too and then ran away.” You chuckled at that memory. Peter joined in the laughter.
“Sorry ‘bout that.” He said. You both knew it wasn’t him, but it felt good to pretend. To live in this moment and just be with Peter. Your Peter. “I wish-”
A few seconds passed. “You… wish what?” You asked him.
Peter swallowed and shook his head. “Uh, nothing, I was just gonna say… I wish I had known you. Back in my universe, I mean.” Your heart ached when he said that. You wished the exact same thing.
“Yeah. Me too.” You smiled a small, sad smile. “But hey! You know me now, huh?” You grinned.
Peter laughed. “You’re absolutely right, Y/N, I do know you now.” Hearing him speak your name made those long-forgotten butterflies pour into your stomach. Did every universe’s Peter have this effect on you? How was that fair?
Peter was looking at you. Really looking at you, like how he did in your universe. Those beautiful brown eyes that you swear could see right through you. “I-” He started, but never got to finish.
Suddenly, the rest of the team was pouring into the lab once again. Ned, MJ, and the other two Peters came back chattering amongst themselves and just like that, you were pulled back down to Earth. You excused yourself quickly, feeling hot all of a sudden.
As you were leaving the room, Peter stared after you, conflict running through him. Why was he doing this? Why was he getting to know you and connecting when he knew that all of you were being separated and sent home soon? You intrigued him. Your story broke his heart and he could relate all too well. What really bothered him though was that he knew next to nothing about you, and you knew every little thing about him. He wanted to know you as deeply and as intimately as you seemed to know him, or for you to not know him at all so you could both start from the beginning. It bugged him, the thought of having to start from scratch when you didn’t. He knew it wasn’t your fault, both of you were victims of circumstance.
His leg bounced with anxiety with you out of his sight. Logically, Peter knew you were right outside, probably catching your breath after that very heavy conversation, but he was still worried.
“You have someone?” Older Peter asked him. It pulled him out of his reverie and back to reality.
“No. I got no time for Peter Parker stuff, you know?” Peter said. That was only half-true. “Do you?”
“It’s a little… complicated.”
“I understand. I guess it’s just not in the cards for guys like us.” He said, though he didn’t fully believe his own words. In the back of his mind, there you were. Smiling, and laughing and holding his hand.
“Well… I wouldn’t give up. Took a while, but… we made it work.”
“Yeah?” He asked, more than a little hopeful.
“Yeah. Me and MJ. My MJ, she uh..”
“It gets confusing, huh?”
-
You were outside the highschool. The air was cold and it felt good against your warm cheeks. After what you’d just experienced inside, you really needed this brief escape. Seeing Peter and talking to him like that, it felt amazing. But it was also surreal. You tried to use your phone that you keep tucked inside your boot but of course there was no service. Most likely this universe’s satellites were different from yours, making your phone essentially useless. At least you still had wifi. You stayed outside for maybe 10 minutes before you heard The Peters calling for you.
“Look, this is where we’re gonna do this, okay? It’s isolated, so no one should get hurt. We draw them there with the box, it’s the one thing they all want.”
“All we have to do is figure out how we’re gonna get there.”
They talked for a bit longer, you were a bit zoned out. You started thinking about how you were probably never going to see any of these people again after tonight. You were never gonna see your Peter again. You glanced at him, but he was already looking at you. You looked away, cheeks flushed yet again.
“We’re gonna kick some ass.”
Your Peter strided over to you and grabbed your wrist to pull you over to the side of the room where there was a little more privacy. “Before we go out there, I just- I need to say something.” He was talking fast and it was making you anxious.
“Hey, it’s okay, whatever it is.” You said, trying to sooth him.
“It’s just… I want you to know I’ve really enjoyed talking to you today. And I wish that- God I wish we had more time for this.” Peter rambled on and a smile grew on your lips. So alike.
“I know. I feel the same way.” You said. He looked down at you, conflicted.
“Don’t die out there.” He said, no hint of humor in his voice.
“I should be the one saying that.” You replied. Peter nodded, he lifted his hand to tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear.
“How about neither of us die, huh?” Now he smiled. It made your heart and head feel light.
“Yeah, I can get on board with that.”
-
“What are like, some of the craziest villains that you guys have fought?” Young Peter asks.
“Seems like you’ve met some of them.” Your Peter says.
“I fought a scorpion-man once.” You said, shrugging.
“I’m sorry, a scorpion?” Your Peter asks, eyebrows raised.
“Yeah, big, green, huge tail.”
“Huh. I fought a… an alien… made out of black goo once.” Older Peter said.
“No way! I fought an alien, too. On Earth and in space.” Young Peter replies.
“Oh.”
“Yeah, he was purple”
“I wanna fight an alien.”
It goes on like this for a while. Mostly you just watch them, three Peters and one brain cell between them, it seems. It’s very entertaining to watch.
“All right, MJ, heads up!” Young Peter throws the box at his friends right through the portal and they catch it.
Multiple fights ensue, but you mostly worry about that portal that doesn’t seem to be closing. After kicking Max down a few flights of construction, you rush over to Ned and MJ who are having a too-loud discussion on their current predicament.
“Hey, thing one and thing two, you gonna close the portal sometime tonight?” You ask hurriedly, not sure how much time you have.
“We’re trying!” Ned yelps.
“Try faster!” You say before you get a sharp slash to the side of your ribs. Doctor Connors is here, and has noticed the very open portal. You jump up before he has the chance to climb through it and shoot your web at his face. He loses balance which gives you time to tell MJ and Ned to run for their lives. As they run out of the lab and into the school hallways, you take the opportunity to trip Connors.
“Need the Connors cure, now!” You yell out.
“Be right there!” Your Peter yells back, but it’s a bit late. Connors is up and about, angrier than ever.
“Come here!” He swings at you, but you slip out of his way easily. You continue to shoot webs at him, but they essentially do nothing because of how strong he is. He lashes out again and gets a lucky hit to your head. You’re down, but only for a second.
“Y/N!” Your Peter yells out, seeing you flat on your back and Connors standing above you. All he can think is no no no no. Suddenly you’re up, you’re on two feet and you’re fine. Peter’s relief is nearly tangible. “Catch!”
Peter throws the Connors Cure your way and you easily catch it before bringing it down into Connors’ neck. The big green lizard is screaming out and flailing as he slowly turns back into a man. His sense comes back to him, and you let out a breath. Only 3 to go.
-
The night’s long, you and all three Peter’s are hurt. This Dr. Strange you’d heard about earlier finally showed up. The only one left to deal with is the goblin. The youngest Peter tries to kill him, but older Peter stops him just in time. You try your best to stay out of their way, you know this fight in particular is very personal.
When everything is said and done though, you guys won. You were able to cure all of them. And now it was time to go home. Peter and Strange are having an intense discussion about what that means, and it seems like you may only have the next few minutes.
“Peter.” You say, grabbing hold of your Peter’s hand. He looks down at you and smiles. Then he sees the blood dripping from your torso.
“Oh my god, are you okay?” His voice is strained and rushed.
“Hey, I’m fine. Okay? I’m okay.” You look into his eyes and try to keep him focused on your face instead of your injuries. You grab ahold of his hand and your heart is beating faster than when you were fighting. “I just need to say one last thing. Before we…”
Peter scrunches his eyebrows and opens his mouth to say something, but you stop him.
“I can never thank you enough for what you did for me. Closure, whatever you wanna call it.” You swallow the lump in your throat. “I can never repay you for that.”
“You already did. You kept your end of the deal, you’re not dead.” Peter says with a smirk.
You laugh and nod. “As did you. Thanks for that as well…” The silence hangs between them, Strange is in the middle of casting some sort of spell and you both know your time together is coming to a close. “I guess this is it.”
“Yeah…” Peter looks torn, like he wants to say something, but there’s no time. So instead he leans down, grabs your face between his two warm hands and kisses you. He pours everything into the one act. His happiness, sadness, grief, longing. You give it all back in return. It’s everything you could’ve ever asked for.
When you open your eyes, you see a stranger in front of you. He’s holding your face and you don’t know what’s happening.