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Chapter Text

What just happened? locus thought. The last thing locus remembers is being forcefully dragged into Colonel Sarge's shenanigans with his annoyingly rude Robot to the red base garage, wanting to make a replica of what they call.. 'a future cube.' Did he mean a teleportation grenade? 

An eyesore of bright light is what comes after. 

Locus hypothesized it backfired and exploded and somehow he got caught in the explosion and died 

What an anticlimactic death if he is being honest. 

No, wait.. locus feels his heartbeat and chest heaving. Still alive. 

Locus grunts as he can't see anything properly in the dim area he is in. 

Feeling his armour and helmet still on, heard distant noises that his helmet picked up, water dripping slowly and echoing through his helmet, and sounds of.. bats..? 

Slowly he raised his left arm, and clicked a button somewhere from the side of his helmet, turning on the night vision that is installed in it.

What an incredibly helpful feature for a dark situation, especially this. 

He sat straighter, looking around his surroundings. From the obvious, from what he gathered he is indeed in a cave.

"Great…" he muttered to himself. 

Thoughts on regretting not dying on chorus, and existential crisis will be dealt later. Right now, Locus needs to get out of here, as much as how cozy the cave looks. 

He gets up, taking one last look around the area, and walks away. It wasn't that hard to find an exit as he saw light just right around the corner. As the light got brighter he turned off his night vision soon as he saw the way out. 

Blinking and adjusting to the bright rays that are reflecting from his visor, it looks like he is on top of a cliff. The ground isn't too far away by the looks of it. 

He looks to his right, he sees.. A base. He looks to his left, at the distance.. He sees another base, very similar to the one he just saw not five seconds ago. 

Where did he even end up..?

As he was just about to begin to think straight, his helmet picked up another audio, this time a person's voice. A very familiar gruff voice.. 

Locus turned on his invisibility and shimmered like he wasn't standing there a second ago. 

As locus continues to stealthy go to where the familiar voice came from, the louder and clearer the voice became. He sneaks up to a giant boulder and sees.. familiar armour colours.. 

"Listen up men! I am sad to say that we lost a great asset to our team." the red armour said undoubtedly the Colonel.. What did he mean by 'lost a great asset'? 

"Those dirty blues had captured Lopez from us! We must make an elaborate plan to take him back. Any suggestions?" He said looking at the other reds

"Oh! Oh! Why not.. we use my cake tactic?" 

"Donut! What did I tell you that your 'cake tactic' isn't a tactic at all!" 

"But it's a great plan.." 

"It's not a plan!" 

"Donut, I'm sorry to say which I'm not. Never do that again. I'm already having goosebumps just even smelling a whiff of baby oil.. I'll never forgive you for ruining cakes for me." 

"Dammit Grif! stop talking about food when we're having a serious meeting!" 

Not mistaking it. It's them.. but something is not right. By just looking around, he can already see why. 

This isn't Iris, not the same moon that he was on. Iris doesn't have a hot scorching canyon in it. 

But something is familiar with this canyon, it's not that he came here. Sure he didn't.. It's just.. 

Is this.. Could it be? 

Just to make sure, Locus looked up top. His eyes widened, he is in a halo ring. He is in Blood gulch. 

Back at chorus, when he was still a cold murderer. He read the files of the SIM troopers. The information was all there, of course he knows about blood gulch, it was mentioned multiple times on the report. 

But how did he end up here so far from the moon? Why are they here and not on Iris? 

That's when Locus remembered. 'Future cubes'. Colonel Sarge somehow took an innocent teleportation grenade, and made it blast him to the past. 

Of course he was in denial for a moment, time travel is absurd—but then he gave up since there isn't a logical explanation for him to end up here! And frustratingly ironic.. Time travel is the best logical explanation!...

Locus gives up trying, and sticks to the time travel idea. Knowing the Reds and Blues, this is probably a Monday for them.. 

 But of course. Not only is he sent to the past, but specifically he is stuck in the past where the Reds and Blues are at the stage where they still believe that they're fake war is an actual one. How did his life decisions lead up to this point for him to be stuck in the past? Can he blame Felix for this?.. It's not like he is alive to stop him. Currently he is alive.. But that's not stopping him. This could've been avoided if felix wasn't so selfish on wanting to have 'a shit ton of money', and then something happened that made felix and him do a genocide on a planet, and it's felix's fault for being a little shit for making him not want to side with him any longer. Then he gets adopted by the Reds and Blues-

Locus turns his head and looks at the arguing Reds, he resisted the urge to sigh heavily where the whole galaxy can hear it. 

"We are not doing it! End of story-" 

"But I was already prepared.." 

"Where did you even get that cake from?!" 

"What do you mean Simmons? It's been always- oh nope it's gone now."

"Mm.. Wait, oh god I smell baby oil."

"DAMMIT GRIF STOP EATING EVERYTHING YOU SEE!" 

How did Locus lose to them?

Chapter Text

It was another boring ass day in this hot scorching canyon, everything sucks. The people here are annoying, and a very boring bullshit is happening. The blues took Lopez and that fired up Sarge. 

Grif is in misery, he just wants to take a nap for fucks sake! And here we are standing under the hot blazes of whatever lights up this giant ring. Grif couldn't care less about any of this. 

As Grif was planning on bailing out, he saw something. 

Or at least he thought he did. A weird shimmer just right behind that giant boulder over there. What the-

"GRIF! Are you even listening?!" 

That startled him, Sarge was up close to his visor. 

"Jesus christ! Stop yelling right up my face!" 

"What was that? Insubordination?!" Sarge yelled and took his shotgun from his back, pointing the end at Grif. 

"drop and give me 50!"

"What?!"

He fired, and that made Grif do it. 

Few hours after that, he feels like he is about to throw up. 

"Fucking.. Training." He groggily said. 

If he didn't escape when Sarge wasn't looking, he probably would still be there under the harsh heat doing push ups

As he gets further away from them, he finds a nice looking tree. 

He gets closer to the tree, he sits down and leans against it. "Peace at last.." he muttered, about to close his eyes. 

"You know Private Grif, sleeping on duty has consequences." Said an unexpected, deep and scary fucking voice. 

He felt like his heart stopped. His head turned autopilot and looked up to who spoke. 

There a tall, fucking giant, probably another scary Freelancer who is probably about to kill him is standing in front of him. Grif's mind whirled. 

"uhhhhhhh" his mouth let out.

The guy was menacingly just standing in front of him, staring at his fucking soul, and he immediately shut his mouth. 

Probably-a-scary-freelancer sighed "I'm not here to kill you." he said, like that will help him calm down. 

What a great way to start a fucking conversation.

The two just looked at each other in awkward silence. What makes it even more awkward is helmets staring at each other. 

Grif was the first one to break the silence, it was almost eating him alive at that point. 

But it wasn't a proper sentence, he instead blurted out "Um- ah-.. Holy shit" 

That's it. Grif thought. Closing his eyes and praying for a quick death. But when nothing came, he slowly opened his eyes. 

Probably-a-scary-freelancer finally spoke again "I apologise" grif can't even take his somewhat apology with that your 'gonna fucking die' voice. He continued "that wasn't a proper way to execute a conversation.." He muttered at the end. What the fuck? 

Grif who wasn't thinking straight asked "who the fuck are you??" Grif's voice was unusually high pitched. 

The Probably-a-scary-freelancer paused for god who knows how long, he spoke again. "I.. Uh Was told.. From command.. that.. Your team needs help with.. Taking back an important member of your team from the enemy.." he slowly said.

"We didn't call for help.." Grif squinted his eyes in suspicion. This guy was shady as fuck. 

The same person who is labelled as 'scariest mercenary in the galaxy' was having a hard time handling this conversation. 

This was reckless, how stupid of him to just waltz right in and talk to the orange sim trooper like nothing could go wrong! 

Trying to make up something, he said. "Command sent me regardless..to assist your squad." He crossed his arms. "Do you have a problem with that Private?" 

Grif who is scared for dear life. 

"No sir." Replied immediately.

Locus just did that. Locus just said that he is here to help them retrieve Lopez back. He can't just back out now. 

That.. Would make things worse. 

Locus decided to do..what Captain Tucker calls.. 'going with the flow' 

"Good, you understand. Again, I am here to help you retrieve your captured teammate. If you can be polite to show me to your superior, that would be most appreciated." Now locus sounded a bit intimidating when he said that.. Gotta act the part to get through this. 

Grif sprang up faster than an actual spring, saluted and said a very cooperating "yes sir" 

Simmons was ordered to go find Grif, that bastard always sneaking off! He frowned 'He always does that! That fatass better have a good excuse for this..' Usually he doesn't have one..

As Simmons was about to turn to his left he sees Grif and next to him is Holy fucking shit- Simmons mouth gaped behind his helmet. He is fucking huge. 

Grif who was standing awkwardly, spoke "Heeeey Simmons uhm, we got a.. Guest here.. As you can see.. Where's sarge?.."

"You mean to tell me that Command sent us our very own freelancer?! This must be Christmas morning and no one told me!" Sarge loudly said with delight

"That's..right.." Locus said

"Holy shit he sounds like he eats bricks for breakfast" Simmons whispered, Grif hushed and elbowed him. 

Donut suddenly appeared. Great. 

"Wait, it's Christmas?!" 

".. Donut.. it's the middle of June."

"This is all just perfecting timing! Say.. er Freelancer buddy! Why not join us in our Great 'sneak attack' to those dirty blues! We're planning on doing that today!" Sarge was obviously excited for the 'dirty blue's' blood to be splattered onto the ground. 

"Freelancer.. buddy..?" Locus repeated, confused. "I'm not.." He paused for a second and realised ".. I apologise, I didn't formally introduce myself" How embarrassing. 

"My name is Locus, a Freelancer.. Here to aid you in the retrieval of your.. Captured comrade from the assailant." Great. Locus is now posing as a Freelancer. He is sure that Agent Washington or Agent Carolina would eat him alive if they knew about this.

"This is just getting better and better! Nice work Simmons!" Sarge grinned 

"Thank you sir!" 

"What?! What did Simmons even do!" 

"Quiet Grif!"

"Ugh. Permission to speak sir?" 

"Denied. Now with the help of a terrifying Freelancer on our side! We will have an even more glorious victory!" Sarge said with pride 

"Sarge..!" Both Grif and Simmons whisper yelled at their captain. 

Locus looks at them all "Is my presence making you all uncomfortable?-"

"NO! Not at ALL!" Sarge yelled too loudly 

"OF course not!" Simmons immediately replied

"PFft! What do you mean?? Me??- I mean we?? Uncomfortable? No no we're totally fine with you dude. Sir." Grif corrected himself at the last part. 

"Oh! Goodness no.. I don't think your terrifying at all, I think your just big and huge-" 

"DONUT!" 

"Shutting up now.."

Locus is not amused. "Okay.. Sergeant.." he looked back at Sarge 

"Yes? What is it, soldier?" 

Soldier. 

Locus froze. 

He exhaled lightly, and shook his head.

"You okay there son?" Sarge tilted his head

Locus tries to regain his composure. "Ah.. Yes. Uhm I may need a weapon. For.. The uh.. 'Sneak attack'..I don't think my pistol would be sufficient enough." Locus took out his pistol. 

That's a lie, he 'could' kill them all with only a pistol with ease. He just wants to have an excuse to use a sniper rifle. It's better to see things far away like that. 

"That won't be a problem, Simmons lead the man to the weaponry!" 

"Wait only me?!" 

"That's an order!" 

"...Yes sir.." 

After getting a sniper rifle, he is now heading outside with the rest of the Reds.

"Dude, are you fucking okay?" He heard Grif whispered at Simmons

"I thought I was gonna die! He was so terrifying just standing there, analysing the guns, why are we letting him on the team-" 

"shutup! Do you not value your life!?" 

Locus turned his head at the both of them. 

They quickly shut their mouths. 

Well here he is. Stuck in the past. With no proper plan at all. With the same SIM troopers who later in time will kick his metaphorical ass. Going to have a 'Sneak attack' with them, towards the 'blues'. 

Already thinking he is making a mistake. 

Chapter Text

Everything is just going great!... No I was just kidding. It's not going great. 

After all of that shit with Church turning to a ghost, Church's crazy ex-girlfriend, has Tucker having to deal with Church's new robot body-! 'Goddammit, where is the button to switch Spanish to English?! It would be most useful right about now!' He internally screamed 

And the Rookie Caboose, Calling himself O'malley or whatever, keeps on threatening to chop his head off, and give it to church as a birthday gift! With a scary movie villain voice! 'What the hell is up with that?!' Tucker thought annoyed, and hella creeped out. 

Now there's this new weird guy too! Who appeared wearing purple armour, supposed to be a Medic or something. Didn't they call for one like 3 months ago?

'I came as quickly as I could. The guy said..what a load of Bullshit.. Also bow chicka bow wow.' He thought, slightly grinning at the last part. Tucker then started to come back to reality when the guy continued to talk. 

"Well then let me just check you two out, and I'll be on my way." He pulls something out from his waist, pointing it at us. 

"Whoooa... check us out? Is this gonna be one of those things where I have to turn my head and cough?" Kinda awkward. 

New guy made a look behind his helmet. "No, I'm just gonna check your vitals.." 

Caboose started to talk. "I bet I have better vitals than you!" He said proudly. 'What the fuck is he arrogant about?' Caboose paused then "...What's a vital?" This guy-

Church crossed his arms "On your way? I don't think so, bud." Church's head titled. "Aren't you here to join our squad?" 

New guy shakes his head "No, I'm just here to help out with Tex, and then assist in the canyon as needed." 

"First of all, great job on the Tex thing. Mission accomplished." Church started to get sarcastic "Secondly, the way that we need you to assist, is to help us kill all the Reds." 

"Well, even if my orders didn't prohibit me from doing that, I still wouldn't. I joined the army as a conscientious objector." A what. 

"A conshe- who?" Tucker tried to repeat

"I'm a pacifist." He says

They all paused and stared at the guy. 

"You're a thing that babies suck on...?" Caboose slowly said. 

"No, dude, that's a pedophile." 

"Tucker, I think he means a pacifier." 

'Oh.' Tucker thought. 

"Oh yeah, right. Man, I was totally thinking about something else." 

"That's real classy, Tucker." Church made a disgusted face behind his helmet 

The new guy finished whatever he was doing with the thing. "Well, everyone here checks out. I'll come back and check on you before I leave the canyon. Can you tell me which way to the Red Base?" 

"Why? You said you weren't gonna fight 'em." 

"I'm not. Resources are low so I'm on loan to both armies to help whichever side needs me at the time." Boring. 

"Man, that is so freakin' lame." Church said

"I'm just gonna go to Red Base and see if they need any help." 

"Well, if you're gonna go up to Red Base, I'd recommend putting away that little medical thingy of yours." Church gestured at the 'Scanner' "They see you walking up carrying that thing, they're gonna shoot it right out of your hand." 

Speak of the devil. The new guy's scanner thing got shot right off his hands. 

"Yeah, just like that." 

Another shot goes between the New guy and Church.

"Scatter!" 

Locus was seeing catastrophe. He knows that he time travelled to the past, and expected the Reds to not be the same. But he didn't expect it to be this.. Horrendous.. 

They keep shooting at the wall. 

You know.. For someone like Locus, it really hurts to see them missing an easy shot multiple times. And he was told by both Reds and Blues that the bad shot in their group is the Alpha AI known as Church!

"Nice shot cupcake!" The Colon—

The Sergeant shouted at Donut. 

"Thank you Sarge!" Donut replied proudly. 

Locus made a face. What 'nice shot'? He missed. 

"Oh ho that's right! Suck it Blues!" 

"Yeah! Sneak attack" 

"Get down you dumbass I can't see-" 

Locus looked at them "What are you all doing?"

That startled Simmons and accidently fired, almost hitting Grif's feet. "Holy-" He turned around at Locus. Grif yelled "You asshole! You almost hit my foot! What the fu-" 

Grif stopped yelling immediately as Locus approached. "Your posture is awkward, you're holding the assault rifle wrong, and you're aiming at the wrong target." Locus noted every mistake that Simmons made. 

Grif took two steps back, Simmons gulped. "Um-" 

"The same goes for both of you, Private Grif and Private Donut." He turned his head at them. "Aww.." then turned to Sarge. "I apologise Sergeant, but did you ever teach your men to properly handle a gun?" 

"I did! If they can shoot they can shoot!" Sarge replied 

Locus was speechless. 

"And I too can also shoot! So stop yapping and more shooting! SUCK IT DIRTY BLUES!" The Sergeant continued to shoot again. Locus made a mental note to give them proper training later on.. 

They keep shooting at the wall. 

For the love of- they are standing right there! THEY AREN'T EVEN PROPERLY TAKING COVER—

Church gritted his teeth as he ducks at the upcoming bullets as Tucker did the same. 'Son of a bitch!' He thought. "Alright you, Doc, get over there and help Caboose!" 

New guy is discontent being called.. Doc. "My name isn't Doc, it's DuFresne." He tried to correct Church. 

Church rolled his eyes "Yeah. I can't pronounce that, so from now on, your name is Doc." he pointed at the now nicknamed 'Doc'

"I'm not really comfortable with that. I'm not a doctor, I'm a medic." 

"What's the difference?" Tucker now annoyed. Seriously, what is up with him? 

"Well, a doctor cures people." Said in a matter-of-factly voice "A medic just makes them more comfortable.. while they die." 

Tucker grimaced at that and shuddered "Mental note: don't ever get shot." 

Church didn't give a fuck. 

"It's settled then. Your name is now Doc." 

"Alright, but I don't think it'll stick.." 

"Oh, trust us, it'll stick." 

"Okay, now get over to Caboose, and help him hold that position!" He said, irritated at how slow Doc is. 

"I don't have a gun, I'm a pacifist." This asshole-

"Well then just get over there and yell 'bang bang bang'." 

"Eh, I don't know... Even that sounds pretty aggressive-" a bullet passed through Doc's head. "Oh my!—" 

"God dammit just go over there! You're wasting our time!" Church is getting awfully sick of this nonsense. 

"B-but I'm not supposed to get involved unless someone gets hurt!" 

"Well yeah! Someone is gonna get hurt! And it's not gonna be us if you keep standing in plain sight like a dumbass!" Church shouted the obvious. 

Doc scurried over to where Church and Tucker was taking cover

"The fuck are you doing? I said.. You go to where Caboose is standing, and where are you right now?!" Church pushed Doc away. 'Jeez' Tucker thought. 

"How rude.. You could've asked nicely.." Doc pouted, and quickly went to caboose's position. 

Locus shot a single bullet near Doc's head, He never planned to kill them. But he might as well play along.. 

He turned his back at both Simmons and Grif. "You know you should really save your-" 

"Ah crap, I'm out." Too late. "Give me some ammunition, Grif." Simmons asked 

Grif looked at Simmons confused "Me? I don't have any extra. I'm down to one bullet." Oh god, here we go.. 

"Wha- How can that be? You're the one who carries all the extra rounds in to battle." 

"Wait, since when?"

"Since the last staff meeting." 

"We actually talk about stuff in those things?" Grif said in mock shock "I just fall asleep inside my helmet." 

Simmons slowly looked at Locus, daring himself to ask or not. He did "Do.. You have ammo..?" 

Locus sighed "My ammo is sniper bullets, it's not the same ammo as the assault rifles" 

"But it's still ammo! Ammo is ammo" Grif said. Okay Locus took them for incompetent soldiers, but they were this uneducated? 

"Grif are you a dumbass? Even if.. Locus here.. Has ammo it's sniper bullets. It won't work on assault rifles!" Never mind, at least some of them are taught. 

Simmons shook his head "Well, you missed your job assignment, and now we have no ammo." 

Grif tried to retort "What's your job?" 

"Me? I'm the Social Chairman." He said proudly. Seriously? A what. 

Sarge and Donut approached them. "Grif. Me and Treasurer Donut are empty. We need some clips." 

"Hey Grif, you remember that one bullet you have left?.." Locus could just hear Simmons grinning. "I thought of the perfect way you can use it."

Locus suspicious at Simmons 'thought', he has the feeling that he needs to prepare himself mentally for a few hours... 

Chapter Text

It has gotten quiet for some time.. The reds aren't firing and it's getting suspicious.. Tucker looked at Church and asked. "Hey dude, why aren't the reds firing?" 

"I don't know.. Maybe they are out of ammo." Church shrugged. But it is weird that the reds stopped firing. 

Suddenly a shout from a distance is heard "HEY BLUES! WE ARE GIVING YOU A CHANCE TO SURRENDER!" 

"Surrender..?" Church repeated the last part. 

Earlier… 

"It be a great plan!" Simmons said, self-assured. 

Locus hearing Simmons' ridiculous 'plan' he is more or less not that optimistic that it would work. "I do not think this plan is going to succeed Private Simmons."

"W-well.. " Simmons' confidence faltered. 

"I think it's a great plan!" Sarge agreed. But of course he did. 

"Thank you sir!.." Simmons felt his confidence growing back a little. 

"How are you certain that this would even work?" In all honesty this will never work. 

"Well uhm- w-what about you? Do you have better ideas?" Locus stares at Simmons for a moment, then looks at Blue base then back to the Reds. 

"I can infiltrate in and take your android back without alerting the enemy. Considering how you all.. performed the 'sneak attack', I think I have a high chance of succeeding." Being in combat with the past blues would be troublesome to deal with. This is more efficient.. 

"Woah you can do that?" Donut said with amazement. 

"We weren't that bad.." Simmons 

muttered.. 

"Less work for us I guess" 

"Grif!" 

"Private Simmons, may I remind you that you along with the other Privates we're shooting at either the wall or the boulder that was used as cover by the enemy." 

"We tried." Grif shrugged. 

"We did our best.." Simmons felt like he shrunken. 

Sarge grumbles at the plan that Locus made. "That plan sounds too plain! It doesn't have a part where we inflict pain to the blues! Or make the blues Surrender! OR BOTH!"

Wait what. 

"Sergeant, I don't think it's necessary to-" Sarge interrupts him. 

"Too boring. Let's go with Simmons' plan" Sarge then walked away from the group and shouted "HEY BLUES! WE ARE GIVING YOU A CHANCE TO SURRENDER!" 

Now… 

"This is doom to fail." Locus stared at Sarge. Locus doesn't even bother to stop this, because it can't be stopped. He learned that the hard way back on Iris.. 

"Aw come on guys! have a little faith, maybe it will work!" Donut tried to be positive.

"Yeah no, there is no way this is gonna work." Grif said, agreeing with Locus on this one.

"Nonsense!" Sarge confidently said. "There is no way they would know we are out of ammo." 

Church looked at the reds from afar "Yeah they are definitely out of ammo." 

"I just wanna say that this is your fault Simmons." Grif whispered to Simmons, although Locus can still hear them. 

"What?! The fuck is my fault?" Simmons whisper-yelled back. 

"This day could've been much shorter, if you just had kept your mouth shut and let that scary freelancer guy do all the work!" 

"Ugh you're such a lazy bastard! Sarge was the one who insisted on going with the plan. How was this my fault—?!" 

"Enough with the mindless banter. The both of you. " Locus is a bit tired having to hear the ongoing argument in a situation like this. He shivered mentally that this is just the tip of the iceberg of what he is gonna deal with. 

Grif and Simmons quickly shut their mouths out. 

After that, the blues shouted back. 

"WHAT'RE YOUR TERMS!?" Replied the blues. A distant "Their what?" can be heard. 

"Our what..?" Grif sounded confused 

"I can't believe it's actually working." Simmons said. 

"See? I told you to have a little faith!" Donut said happily. 

Locus just stares in blank dismay. 

"Right, See if you can get Lopez back Sarge!" Simmons reminded him

"Oh yeah. 'Cause then he can fix the Warthog!" 

"Your Warthog is not working?" Locus raised an eyebrow. 

"Oh yeah right, forgot to mention that.."

"How did that happen?" 

"Maybe later..?" 

Donut then decided to join in. "Ooo! Ooo! Sarge, tell them we want the flag?" 

"Yeah, and some cake!" Grif added

"Oooh… wait, wait Sarge. Just the cake!" 

"I thought you said that Private Donut ruined cake for you?" Locus looks at Grif. "Meh, Cake is Ca—" Grif quickly realised something.. "waittt.. How did you know-" He got cut off. 

"ALRIGHT BLUES! First off! We want your flag-" Sarge started off. 

"Wait wait wait just a second." Simmons interrupted Sarge. "The last time we got the flag, the chick in the black armour showed up." Chick.. In black armour? Are they referring to Agent Texas the Beta AI? 

Sarge made a brief pause "...to stay right where it is! Keep the flag!" Nice save. "But we do want our mechanized droid guy back! You may know him as Señor El Roboto!" What..? 

"Señor El.. Roboto..? Last I remember that it was designated as Lopez." Locus had a quizzical look at Sarge. "He has some loose screws if you don't see it.." Grif whispered at him, Although Simmons still heard him. He elbowed Grif. "Ow- hey!" 

Sarge continued "And don't think you can keep his nuts!" What. "Or bolts, or other mechanical parts you may have!" 

The blues had a pause, they were discussing it. 

"Uh.. Uh, he's not here any more!.." Wow. Locus can just smell the obvious lie. 

"Yeah, he left! He was all like 'Sayonara!' and then he just took off!" 

There was an irritated murmur that Locus's audio receiver can't pick up clearly. 

"Ahem..Hey Reds! How about a medic?! Would you take a medic as a hostage?!" The blue asked loudly. 

"A medic..?" Wait, Locus remembers now. The reds and blues have a purple medic! They we're called Doc? He presumes. The purple medic was with them in the fight on chorus. He never really knows much about Him, he rarely sees the person in Iris's red base.. 

Simmons shrugged "Meh, that sounds pretty good to me." 

"I don't know, I think we can hold out for more.." 

"We don't have any bullets, dumbass." Simmons reminded him. Grif blinked "Oh, right. Take the medic. The medic's a good deal." 

Locus sighs, shaking his head a little. 

After a few moments the blues yelled again. "Okay! We're gonna send over our medic! Now what do we get?!" 

"You?! You're surrendering! You don't get anything except humiliation and ridicule!" Simmons shouted back. 

"We've already got that! What else do you have?!" the shout undoubtedly sounded like Captain Tucker. 

"What do you want?!" Sarge shouted. 

"How about if you admit that the Red Team sucks?!" Are they serious? They asked that of all things? No, Locus should expect stupid things to happen by now. Stupid things happening with them is inevitable.. 

Sarge turned back at us. "I cannot accept that! That is just humiliating the Red army itself!" If there was even a red army.. "Maybe.. how about this..!" Simmons gets close to Sarge and whispered something to him. Sarge turns back at the blues. 

"What if we admit that one of us sucks?!" Sarge asked loudly

"NICE." Grif said. "Wait, you mean Donut, right..?"

Locus never thought he is going to be experiencing the most gruelling 2 hours of his journey through the tartarus that we call Life..

"Okay then! We agree to the terms?! You first, and then we send over the medic!" The annoying voice of the blue bastard is heard again echoing through this damned canyon. 

You know the red influence is starting to rub off on Locus. 

"How long is this going to take..??" Locus now gritting his teeth. Donut took a few steps back at that. 

"Get on with it, Grif!" Sarge motioned him to say the lines. 

Grif groaned frustrated to be the one to say it, but walked to the front anyways. ".I.." He grunted a sigh "would just like to let everyone know.. that I suck!" 

"And?!" 

"And that I'm a girl!" Grif gritted his teeth

"What else!?" 

"And I like ribbons in my hair!" Grif wanted to curse any false god out there listening "And I want to kiss all the boys!" He finished 

Just for that. 

"This may be the best surrender of all time." Sarge wiped a fake tear that was not there. 

Locus buried his face onto his hands, two hours of his life. Wasted. 

"Okay, is that good enough?!" Simmons shouted. 

"It better be." Locus dangerously muttered. 

"Yeah!" He blue responded, a few distant mutters, then the purple medic finally arrived. 

"Man, I really hope you're worth it for this." Grif glared at him. 

"Can I ask you a question? Do they put something in the water here?" The purple medic asked. 

"Water?" Grif repeated "We ran outta water six months ago." 

"What." Locus walked towards him 

Doc widened his eyes as he took notice of the giant person who suddenly talked. "Oh my-" 

"What do you mean you ran out of water for six months?" Locus ignored him

"UHhh..yeah that uhm so-" Grif noticed how fast Locus was speed walking towards him. "Th..the pipes didn't work one day so-" 

"Why didn't you fix it?" 

"Well I'm not really an expert of fixing pipes and stuff- probably none of us are—" 

"Then what do you drink." 

Locus looked like he was looming at Grif. Grif gulps. "Uh, you know.. ketchup, uh, soy sauce, gravy, the usual..?" Doc slowly moved away from Locus and Grif. 

Locus again left speechless. How the fuck did they survive with.. with just only those to drink?! 

"I only drink the blood of my enemies!" Sarge unhelpfully said. "And occasionally a strawberry Yoo-hoo. Or a Sarsaparilla. Grenadine, straight from the can. Deeelicious. ...Oh, occasionally I do enjoy a 'Sex on the Beach.' Or a piña colada. (singing) If you like piña coladas, hengh! Gettin' caught in the rain, hengh! And you're not in to yoga, engh! Grif just has half a brain, ungh.. " Sarge continued to ramble.. 

Locus puts a hand on his helmet, Okay mental note: Train them properly, Help them fix the Warthog, AND Fix they're water pipes…

Chapter Text

   All of them are heading back towards Red base, all the while Locus is having some thoughts about all this. 

So, the Reds aren't properly trained, their Warthog is broken, their android mechanic is not here to help repair it, we waited two hours for a medic, and they don't have a functioning water supply. Don't forget to mention that he is still stuck in the past, it's not been a day since he got here, and with no other better plan to back up this improvised 'I'm a freelancer' plan that he unintentionally put himself into. How enlightening.

They have arrived back at the base. Simmons sighed "Well, that could've gone better" He said as he walked towards the broken Warthog. Sarge followed pursuit. 

"And by that, you mean the greatest Surrender of all time!" He said, filled with satisfaction. 

"And also.. Lard ass keep watch on the prisoner, if I see you neglecting that order that's 100 push ups!" Sarge ordered. 

Grif groaned loudly. 

"It was funny.." Donut followed, giggling while looking at Grif. 

Grif glared at him. "Har, Har. Very funny. Laugh all you want, that was stupid!" 

"It was something.." Doc muttered.

"It was exhausting," Locus said dryly. 

Grif flinched, and Doc yelped, forgetting that Locus was behind them. 

"Uhm- Oh jeez you scared me there! T-that reminds me.." Doc tilted his head. "Who are you? I don't remember another extra red in the report.." 

"Oh that.. Reason is, I am not a Red member" He answered, confusing Doc. 

"That's because he is a freelancer" Grif joined in. "Ya know, fancy ninjas or whatever" He emphasized. 

Locus looks at Grif. "I am not a ninja.." 

Grif shakes his head. "Yeah, you say that, wait till I find those throwing blade thingys on the ground and I won't be surprised." 

"A ninja is an entirely different thing," Locus explains, Grif crosses his arms looking at Locus, skeptical. "Uh-huh, whatever you say fancy ninja." Locus gave up. 

Doc was still confused.

"Wait- why was a freelancer called here?" Grif looks at Locus making him the one to explain. 

Locus takes a moment to think about how he is gonna say this.. "I was.. assigned.. here by 'Red' Command to help a Squad of soldiers.." Okay.. That sounded too simple uh shit. Excuse. EXCUSE. "That is all you need to know.. Everything else is classified." He lied swiftly. 

Locus wonders if this is going to backfire so hard on him.. 

Grif scoffs. "Ptf, Always with the classified shit— you know people saying that are always onto something shady-" 

"Like I said. I'm not a ninja." 

Probably… 

"Oh." Doc mouthed. "I see. And your names are?" 

"You may call me Locus." Locus turns back at Doc. 

"Grif." He briefly waved his hand. 

"Alright.. Medical officer Frank Dufrense, at your service! And also a Super Private First Class." He proudly introduced himself. 

Grif and Locus stare at him.

"That is.. not a real rank," Locus says. And Locus thought he was at least sane.. 

Doc frowned. "What— what do you mean. It is!" He protested. 

"Yeah… Um, hate to tell you this buddy that doesn't exist.." Grif stares at Doc weirdly. 

Doc grumbled, very much offended. "Well. Whatever. Anyways.." Taking a moment to compose himself. "Do you guys in your team have any current or recent injuries?" He asked. 

"Oh, well uhh. Well Sarge got shot in the head by the blues-" Locus's head quickly turned at Grif "What." Grif shrugged "So that happened, but all is good since I gave him CPR" 

Again What.

"So he was shot in the head..?" Doc repeated. 

"Right." Grif nodded. 

Question marks started to flood in Locus's mind. "Wait..you.." Locus can't believe he is saying this. "You..gave the sergeant… CPR for a bullet wound to the head?" No that's just impossible and so wrong what the actual fuck is wrong with this canyon?!

"Exactly" Grif says like it's natural to respond to a bullet wound in the head, with CPR. 

Doc turns silent.. Then nodded in approval "Yeah, I think that's a perfectly acceptable treatment." 

Locus decided to stop thinking. That does it. He isn't sane, nobody in this fucking canyon is.

"That's what I said!" Grif raised both of his hands up. 

"Oh yeah, people often overlook alternative methods of care." 

Locus's brain cells are dying HAVE MERCY. 

"Like there's this one time where I treated someone who got shot in the foot. All I did was rub his neck with some aloe vera, he was fine!" 

Stooopppp… 

"Yeah, I don't know about all that. I'm just glad that Sarge is wrong." 

Locus is screaming inside his head. 

That's it. 

Locus calmly walks away from the two, and towards the other reds. They were still trying to fix the Warthog. It seemed to be blown up, but fixed with different parts of metal. 

"Donut, don't touch th-" Simmons stops his sentence as he sees a very not so irritated deadly freelancer walking towards them. He stops. 

"Do you.. Need any help?" He asked. Trying to get away from all the nonsense that was back there. Actually what the hell.. nonsense is everywhere! 

"Actually yes! Your help would be very much appreciated right now." Sarge said.

Locus looks at the Warthog. "What happened to it?" 

"Got blown up by a monstrosity by those damn blues!" Ah. 

"So a tank blew it up.. I'm a bit surprised it survived a blow." Locus expressed. 

"Heh, it's a sturdy one at best!" 

"Uh.. Well, the Warthog is fixed, but it's not.. Working.. I'm not sure why.." 

"May I take a look?" Locus asked. 

"Go right ahead I suppose.." Simmons rubbed the back of his neck. 

After a bit of an examination, it doesn't seem to have a problem at all.. 

"Huh.." He muttered. 

"Well? Is there something wrong?" Donut asked

"It should be working fine.. I don't seem to find any problems.." Locus said to them

"What?! But that's impossible, we tried to turn it on but it won't budge!" 

"Maybe try it again?.." 

Simmons complied, He hops on, and tries to turn on the vehicle, the engines start to make noise then soon die down, the lights flickered on and off. After another few failed attempts, Simmons went off the Warthog. 

"This is certainly troublesome.." Locus sighed. 

"Gah! This whole situation makes me want to turn my displeasure towards Grif!.. Speaking of that numb skull." Sarge turns around towards the purple medic and Grif. 

Sarge shouted. "Grif! Yer supposed to be watching the prisoner, not playing lookie-loo with him all day long!" He said angrily. 

"Ah what?!" Grif turns around, frowning. "I wasn't the only one who talked to him! How come the ninja gets a pass??"

Simmons looked confused. "What.." 

"I AM NOT A NINJA."

Donut's eyes flared from behind his helmet. "You're a ninja?! That's so cool and-" 

"I said that I'm not!"

'Goddammit, is this gonna be a running joke? Me being a ninja- that's just infuriating! Ninjas haven't even been a thing for centuries!' Locus thought annoyingly. 

"Because unlike our ninja ally!—" Sarge continued, SOMEONE STOP THIS TORTURE. "You are nothing but a pathetic sag of human waste! Ready to be thrown or used as a meat shield! Now quit yapping and get back to guarding that hostage!" Sarge yelled. 

Grif glared at him. "Come on Sarge, he doesn't even have a gun!" He exasperated. 

"Oh, well you two will be great friends then. He doesn't have a gun, and you didn't bring any ammo!" Simmons says 

"Hey thanks, kiss-ass. If I wanna take guarding tips from the guy that lost our last prisoner, I'll be sure to ask you." Grif spat, Locus raised an eyebrow.

"Oooh man, that is a burn. Dude, you just got burned. Burned, dude, burned." Donut snickered at Simmons. 

Simmons glares at him. "Oh shut up, your armor's pink." He weakly retorted. 

"Uh, hey, guys?" Doc piped up. "I-I just want everybody to know that Grif and I aren't, uh, technically friends.. uh, we're just talking. That's it." He announced. 

…

Sarge huffed and crossed his arms, "Speaking of prisoners.." He turns his head towards the group. "Are there any ideas on what to do with the prisoner?" 

"Well.." Simmons started, he turns to look at the purple medic and Grif, "We have to get him away from Grif.." Then looks back at Sarge. ".. You know, it's cruel and unusual to have to talk to him." 

Captain Grif really wasn't liked back then.. I actually don't think it changed. 

"How 'bout we, um, let him trade armor with uh, one of us? That would show him!" Donut suggested, Locus looks at Him. 

"You Know Private Donut, I think your pink armour is fine as it is.." 

Donut stops, and stares at Locus. "...Really?—" 

Then suddenly an unexpected low robotic voice came out from the Warthog as the lights flickered into life. "Warthog online." It said. Everyone jolted and the attention immediately went towards the Speaking vehicle. "Homing beacon activated." 

"Sarge, d-d-did the car just talk?!" 

"Uh oh.." 

Locus stares at Sarge. "What do you mean Uh oh?"

Chapter Text

  Then suddenly an unexpected low robotic voice came out from the Warthog as the lights flickered into life. 

"Warthog online." It said, Everyone jolted and the attention immediately went towards the Speaking vehicle. "Homing beacon activated." 

"Sarge, d-d-did the car just talk?!" 

"Uh oh.." 

Locus stares at Sarge. "What do you mean Uh oh?" 

Sarge nervously snickered. "Hehehe.. Did I ever tell you boys that the Warthog is remote controlled?" 

What. Remote controlled—

"Not that we remember.." Simmons said, trying to recall. 

"Well.." Sarge began. 

Minutes later. 

"Okay, Let me get this straight.. You built a remote control for the jeep into Lopez.." Simmons summarised. 

That was more understandable than the original explanation the Sergeant gave us. Locus doesn't even wanna recite what the Red soldier said minutes earlier. It was all a roller-coaster. 

"Yep. But there's no way anyone could have found out how to turn it on." Sarge smirked. 

"I hid it in a place no one would ever look!" He said surely, then paused. 

"Unless…" He turned around to Donut with a suspicious look. 

"Hey, Pretty-in-Pink, were you messin' with my robot?" Sarge accused him. 

"What? What're you asking me for..? I wasn't even near him!" Donut defended. 

"So someone else controls the jeep right now? And the big gun attached to it?" Grif said. 

Locus spoke. "Don't you Reds even have the slightest suspicion that the Blues lied to you, and they have Lopez all along?"

… 

"Oh.." They all look at Locus, they actually never considered that. 

".. We actually didn't think that far.." Simmons admitted. 

Locus tried to suppress the groan that was coming. 

"Ah horse manure! Darn those Blues they tricked us again!" Sarge dramatically said. 

Again, how did this.. This group of individuals managed to outsmart him? It's not even 'outsmarting', 'outdumbing?' okay that sounds even more stupid. 

Sarge continued. "But even if they've figured out how to turn it on, they'd never know the set of code words to control it! Only me and my diary know that." Stop talking already, You're gonna jinx it. 

Then a moment later, the Warthog emits a series of beeps like the beginning of a dial-up connection.

"Drive" the jeep simply said. 

Sarge looked at the jeep in shock. "Jumpin' Jehozafats, they've cracked the code. Those darn dirty blues!" 

Locus needs to find a quiet area where he can scream till his lungs give out soon later on. 

The Warthog then turned to life and drove straight at Doc and hit him. The purple medic then unintentionally lands in the driver's seat as it continues driving away with him. That was a bit.. 

"Hey, he's taking the jeep!" Donut pointed out. 

"Heelp! This jeep is kidnapping meeee Aaaaaah—!" The purple medic pleaded while the jeep drags him further away from them. 

"Now he's taunting us. This is just embarrassing!"  

"Isn't this just amusing.." Locus sighed, observing the spectacle. Not really knowing what actions he should do in this situation.

"Hey, Sarge, new rule." Simmons looks at his Commanding Officer. "How 'bout we just don't take any more prisoners, since we seem to suck at it." 

"Aren't we going to go after it?" Locus turns at them. 

"No, no. There's no way we're going after that thing, walking." Grif stares at the fleeing vehicle. 

A few seconds later, the jeep stopped momentarily before turning around. Facing the Reds and Locus. 

With doc on the Warthog "Oh man, what now…?" He said feeling nauseous. Not really aware that he is going to unintentionally look like he is about to run over the Reds. 

Grif noticed this. "That does not look good." The Warthog's lights flickered. "Uh.. Nice kitty, nice kitty.." He said, While Donut in the background is slowly backing away. 

Locus tensed, he too didn't miss the sign of a vehicle going to pancake him and the others. 

The Warthog's engines intensified. "Acquire target: red." Doc's eyes widened. "Uh oh." He let out before the Warthog sped towards Red base. 

Locus was the first one to react. "Everyone! Out of the way, now!" And so, everybody else did, but Sarge.. "Ahhhhh fudge pumps.." 

Locus stopped midway, seeing the Sergeant not moving fast enough. He turned to take a quick look at the speeding jeep coming straight at the Red Space Marine before looking back. 

Locus reluctantly made his decision, he quickly ran towards the Red soldier. And by sweet luck, Locus had a chance to get a grab of one of the Sergeant's armour pieces and yoink him out of the way. 

The Warthog rammed the Red base's walls instead. Leaving a bit of damage onto the Red's property. 

"Holy shit." Grif and Simmons said at the same time. Witnessing what just happened. Donut would have applauded. 

Sarge faltered "Great googly moogly! I almost died— Er- I mean.. great reflexes soldier!" 

In Locus's mindscape. 'Fucking fuckity fuck fuck. I'm going to get a heart attack any day now.' "Please, don't do that again sir.." 

"Oh jeez!" Doc popped up from the vehicle to look back at them. "Are you alright there?" 

"Uhm dude, you just fucking ran us over! What the fuck?!" Grif snapped.  

"Eliminate red target." The Warthog's robotic voice announced loudly. "Oh no.." Doc slowly shrank away. The turret gun on top aimed at Sarge. The gun started to rev. 

"Sarge!" Locus yelled. 

"Oh whippersnapper!" Sarge swore. 

"Oh shit!" Simmons grabbed Grif unconsciously, "Hey!—" and ducked them both down as the bullets from the Warthog started to pour. "Uh oh!" Donut followed pursuit. 

Somehow the bullets were only shooting straight at Sarge's feet, following wherever he steps. The Red Sergeant, trying to avoid losing a toe or a foot, looked like he was tap dancing at the moment. "Oh! Oh OW! Darn! In the process of being killed by my own mechanical creations. Youch! I'm sure there's a philosophical lesson to be learned from all this." 

"Uhh— Something about the dangers of technology and the unwavering pride of mankind?" Simmons guessed, still on the ground. 

"No! something about hiring better help that doesn't just stand around watching you die! Ow!" 

Somewhere in Blue base, an aqua marine soldier is about to yank a wire. 

The others then, slowly, and carefully got off the ground, trying to avoid the bullets that were firing straight at their Red Commanding Officer. The maroon soldier looks at their dancing superior in worry. "Okay, we gotta do something here guys.." 

"You're right.." Donut nodded "I got dibs on Sarge's armor." He said seriously. Simmons only glared at him. 

Then suddenly, the bullets weren't shooting at Sarge and now in another direction. They all looked at the Warthog and on top of it was Locus turning the turret in another direction.

"Well that solves it.." Simmons said. "Aww.." Donut sulked. 

The Warthog then suddenly stops firing. "Signal lost." the machine gun with the jeep powered down. "Oh finally.." Locus breathed. As he did he made eye contact- visor contact? With Doc, who was in the front seat of the vehicle. He nervously waved at him, Locus awkwardly waved back. 

"Wow, that was a close one." Grif stated, looking at his superior officer. "Are you okay, Sarge?" 

"Ah, horse puckey, I'm fine. Although I do have to admit, maybe a little bit disappointed." Sarge admitted. 

"It's okay, sir. I know that you said a lot of things that you didn't mean. People say crazy stuff when they're faced with their own mortality." Simmons voiced. 

"No! It's not that. I just felt like I could have taken him!" Sarge said. 

They all looked at him. 

"What?" Simmons titled his head. "Taken who? The machine gun?" Grif gestured at the Warthog. 

"Oh he was a worthy opponent to be sure, but right at the end there he was beginning to show signs of weakness. Cracks in the armor, if you will." 

"What." Locus made a face. 

"You can't fight a machine gun." Grif interjected. 

"Yeah, Sarge. I know you're tough and all, but it is kinda hard to beat up hundreds of armor piercing bullets using only your face.." Donut added. 

"Ehh pshh, And yet, he surrendered." Sarge said smugly. 

"Guys, guys, it's okay, I've seen this before!" Doc said from his seat. "Sarge just lived through a very traumatic ordeal. We all have ways of coping with the stress." 

"Stress." Locus repeated. 

"Oh yeah? Well how do you deal with it?" Grif asked. 

"Oh I have my own system that works pretty well for me." Doc said "...By the way, the driver seat of the jeep is gonna need a thorough cleaning." He added. 

"How disgusting.." Locus expressed. 

"Ah gross man!" Grif grimaced. 

"You did what in my Warthog!?" 

"I'm going to need more cleaning supplies aren't I..?" Simmons sighed. 

Simmons looks back at Doc "Hey, Doc, although I'm sure, we just love to see our Base's wall being destroyed, maybe you should go ahead and back up the Warthog a bit?" He gestured at the cracks and crumbling cement of the Red Base wall. 

"Oh, right. Sorry.." He then accidentally hits the Base's wall deeper instead of backing up, the cracks going further. 

"Woops! Ooo, geez, I'm really sorry. I-I just was in the wrong gear, let me just…" He hits the wall again. Some parts are falling out. 

"Third time's a charm?-"

"No." Locus firmly said, taking a hold of the wheel. "Let's not." Doc retreated. 

"I'm really sorry guys. I was only trying to help. Really!" The purple medic said honestly. 

"Oh, is that all? I for one was actually totally confused. I thought you almost killed our Sergeant and then rammed our base's wall over and over with a six thousand pound steel death machine, the very same one that almost killed him. . Now that we know that you're just trying to help, by all means, please continue." Grif sarcastically spat out.

"... Really?.. "

"Get out!" Grif and Simmons yelled at the same time. Doc then immediately gets out, letting Locus be the one to back the Warthog. This time, the controls of the vehicle are fully functional.

"Finally." Grif said.

"Okay, we cannot stand for this." Simmons begun. "Sarge, we're going back to Blue base to get Lopez back!" 

"Sounds good to me," Sarge agreed.

"What? But we just had our negotiations with the Blues earlier." Locus said. 

"Well, we can't just have them have Lopez!" The maroon soldier told him. 

"Yes.. But, is it going to be another 2 hour long 'negotiation' we are talking about?" Locus grimaces at that. 

"Well let's hope not." Grif said. "Also you, yeah you socially inept purple guy. Don't follow us." That made Doc sulk. They all then slowly start to walk Towards Blue Base. 

Locus sighed, following them along. 

When they arrived the Blues were then seen on top of their Base. 

"Hey, Blues, we're here to-" Simmons momentarily paused midway, as he and everyone else also saw.. Tucker kneeling in front of Church. "—What the hell are you guys doing!?" This may cause some major misunderstandings..

Chapter Text

  Okay so, I, the creator and author of this fanfiction. Had fucked up.

I know what you're thinking, 'Wait what?' it was the 6th chapter of this fanfiction that I realised how much of a fucking dumbass I was and not noticing it sooner.

I didn't properly watch the episode of season 2, and I made a bad move. I accidentally fucked up some part of the RvB timeline. 

I mean I think that's the whole point of this story, Locus causing paradoxes—But this isn't called "The Writer causes paradoxes" No! 

That part shouldn't have happened, and I'm talking about the last bit of the chapter. The beginning of chapter six was all fine and dandy but the last bit wasn't supposed to happen.

Simmons talking about taking Lopez back, and Grif telling Doc to stay put. Okay maybe the Simmons part wasn't all that bad, but telling Doc to stay put just.. I intended to follow the original flow of the timeline, and only change it when it seemed fit. I didn't mean for that part to happen. I was writing the chapter at 1am and being tired as fuck, I didn't notice.

But since it's out now and people already have seen it, well what do you reader's want me to do? Do I continue like this, go with the flow and all that jazz? Maybe Rewrite the episode? Or maaybee Rewrite the story as a whole? (Actually that doesn't sound like a bad idea. This whole fanfiction's idea doesn't seem to be a bad idea, but I think I poorly executed this story and its chapters.) 

Even when it's just a small mistake, I didn't like that mistake and it makes me want to change it. When I realised I messed up, it was at a birthday party, I couldn't even express my frustrations without looking like a maniac. 

Anyways I would gladly want Reader's opinions on this. It's important.